tv North Carolina News at 600PM CBS November 3, 2016 6:00pm-6:31pm EDT
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come on, grady, i don't wanna rush you, but i want to get this game over with before lamont comes home. finds me playing checkers instead of doing my work, he's going to be mad. ok. all right. come on! ok, ok! just a minute! just play, then. jeez. [door slams] i knew he was going to be mad, but i didn't know he would be this mad. uh, we gonna stop playing, son. that's not what i'm mad about.
a dumb traffic ticket! let me see. failure to yield to the right of way. what did you do that for? i didn't! i know you didn't, that's what failure means. you was supposed to do something and didn't do it, and then not doing it, that means that you did it. you shouldn't have did it, but you did it, didn't you? what are you talking about? i'm explaining the situation. may i make a suggestion? had the green light, but i still got a ticket for failing to yield to a guy who jumped the red light. well, if you had the green light, you can't get a ticket. you can if the light is green and you black and the cop is white. well, may i make a suggestion? you say you're innocent? that's right. well, what are you gonna do about it? what do you mean, what am i gonna do about it? i'm gonna pay it, what else? no-- may i make a suggestion? well, you can't pay that ticket if you're right, if you right, you gotta fight it. oh, come on, pop. don't be ridiculous.
culous. you are. now, look. you get a ticket from a white cop in a blue uniform in a black neighborhood. and it make you so mad that you see red. and you ain't gonna fight it 'cause you're too yellow. now, what are you? what are you? a man or a box of crayons? may i make a suggestion? what is it, grady? i think he needs some legal advice, and i have a friend who's a lawyer, why don't i call him? a lawyer? yeah. why didn't you speak up before? well, that's what i was trying-- well, call him on the phone, grady. well, fred, i was gonna do that-- just call him on the phone, grady. ok. look here, son, let's clean up this mess up, here. we can come over here. i coordinated this whole house. pops, what's the use, man? what's the use in getting a lawyer? you can give it a try, can't you? yeah, but besides, what are you talking about? we can't afford no lawyer! i think we can afford this lawyer that grady's calling, right grady?
hello, sonny cochran's tailor shop? hello, sonny? yeah, this is grady. yeah, i'm over at fred sanford's junkyard, and we need some legal advice. can you come over right away? yeah, yeah, i'll explain when you get here, sonny. yeah, ok. good-bye. who's that you called, grady? that was sonny. you know, he's sort of a lawyer-tailor. you see, his law business wasn't working out so good, so he opened up a tailor shop. and now he does a little law on the side, and he gets by fine. look, i don't need a tailor or a lawyer, and i'm not going to court, ok? well, listen, son. look, you've got to fight this thing! because, see, next time it could be me getting the same ticket. and even worse than that, it could be grady. well, how could it be worse if he gets the same ticket? because grady don't have no driver's license. now, come on, son. what can you lose? a day's work, plus the fine. oh, don't be negative! what if you win?
haven't you ever heard that old saying, "you can't fight city hall"? oh, yes, you can, i know a guy who did. see? who was it, grady? clayton foley. you remember clayton foley, don't you? clayton foley? yeah. yeah. ugly clayton foley. yeah. he used to work down at the pool hall. yeah, real ugly with the big bug eyes. yeah, that's clayton. you see, he had a goiter in his neck because his thyroid wasn't working too good. and that caused his eyes to bug out. like this, and that's what got him in trouble, them bugged-out eyes! you see, clayton... clayton was a window washer, and he was washing this lady's window, and she saw him looking at her with them bugged-out eyes, and thought he was a peeping tom! and she had him arrested for being a dirty old man! and, you say he fought that case and won it?
he went to the doctor and got a certificate saying that he had a goiter. he walked 3 miles in the rain, gave it to the judge, and the judge found him innocent. 2 weeks later, clayton died in the morning. but he died knowing that he was a clean old man with a goiter. see that, son? if ugly clayton can do it, so can you. yeah, but he died doing it, remember? well, you can't fight city hall without making a few sacrifices! [knock on door] oh, that must be sonny. i'll get the door. yeah, you get it, grady. right, sure, i'll get it. hey, sonny! how you doing? come right on in. yeah. fred, this is sonny cochran. sonny, this is fred sanford. hello, sonny. hey, mr. sanford. good. and that's um, uh, um... lamont. yeah, that's lamont. sit down, sonny, have a little sit down. yeah, sit down, sonny, have a little sit down, right here.
that depends on who you ask. if you ask me, i'm a lawyer. well, who says you're not a lawyer? the state of california. but sonny knows more law than most judges. go ahead, ask him anything, fred. well, look here, sonny. now, lamont here got a traffic ticket, and he's innocent. now, what should he do about it? well, 2 viable options immediately suggest themselves. he can either pay the fine or fight it. oh, did you hear that, fred? man, that was real talk! look, look, look. i'm gonna pay the fine just like i did the last 2 and just skip all the hassle. you have 2 prior tickets? yeah. within the past year? yeah. if you have 2 prior tickets within the past year, do you know what this means? what? this means that this is your third ticket.
i told you he was good! man, he's good! under california law, you're only allowed 4 tickets in one year. and if this one goes on your record as the third one, you're only one away from the big one. the big one? what happens when you get the big one? the judge can revoke your license, and no more driving. then that means, there goes the truck, there goes the business, there goes sanford, there goes son. won't be nothing left but "and." son, i think you ought to fight this. yeah, you may not have a choice. well, listen, what are the chances of fighting this case? well, that depends on your line of defense. but first, we have to ascertain the facts. tell me, what happened? well, see, i had the green light, and there was this guy that came up from my right side, and he was just about to run the red light, but he stopped all of a sudden. so to keep from hitting him, i had to go around him and run through the light.
you were supposed to stop and yield, dummy. i know that, but there was a guy directly behind me, and if i had stopped all of a sudden, i could have got rammed in the rear. yeah, and that would be dangerous. you can get whiplash and a rammed rear! well, did you tell this to the officer? yeah, i told him, but he said the guy behind me had enough room to stop! uh-huh! we may have a good defense after all. the facts establish 2 immediate hazards. one in front, and one in the back. and a dummy in the middle. it may no longer be lamont's word against the policeman's word, but lamont's judgment against the policeman's judgment. your best defense is to take the stand and tell the simple truth. and here's what you do. watch this, fred. sonny's gonna show them how to do it in court! yeah, watch this, lamont. yeah, watch this. is everybody watching? yeah, we watching, go ahead, sonny! you get up in front of the judge,
"my story is quite simple. "i saw a car pull in front of me, "which constituted an immediate hazard. "and even though i had the green light, "i was intending to yield the right of way, "just as the law says. 'cause i was always taught to obey the law." i'm not finished. oh, sorry. "but just then, "i looked into my rearview mirror, "and i saw a car coming up fast behind me. "now what was i to do? "break the law and avoid an accident? "or obey the law and see the blood of my fellow man "spilled on the streets of our beautiful city. "i made my decision and i accept full responsibility "and throw myself on the mercy of the court.
now. oh, that was great. he's great. he's great, ain't he? hey, sonny, that was just beautiful. that was beautiful. you know, you should be a lawyer or have your own tv series in a wheelchair. thank you. hey, listen, now, how much do we owe you for this valuable legal advice? well, i never charge my friends, but what you can do is let me make you a suit. one of my $49 specialties. and a vest and throw in a pair of white socks. it's a deal. you got it. hey, good luck, lamont. yeah. and don't forget, throw yourself on the mercy of the court. oh, didn't i tell you he was a winner? he's great. i ain't never heard nothing like that before. wait up, sonny, i'll walk over to the site with you because i'm having a little trouble with my zipper.
how about that, son? you got all that valuable information that you can use in court for nothing. 'cause i ain't gonna pay no $49 for no suit. do you actually think i'm gonna get up there in the courtroom and do a scene like he just did? why not? 'cause he's a tailor, he ain't no lawyer. take a chance, i mean, the best you can do. i mean, you can't let people take advantage of you. yeah, but what if i lose? you're not going to lose. yeah, but what if i do? i could go to jail. listen, don't even think like that. yeah, but that's the chance i'm taking, pop. now if i go to jail, then where will you be? where will i be? i'll be outside the jail with a big sign saying "free lamont sanford, free lamont sanford, free..." would you say no to a lot more money? [excited scream] you just won a million dollars! no thanks. nice balloons, though! or no to more vacation days? janet, i'm giving you an extra week's vacation! oh, ah... nooo. what? no way. who says no to more? time warner cable's all about giving you more.
and shows on demand, so you can binge all day. call now. and don't forget the free tv app. get ultra-fast internet with secure home wifi to connect all your devices. saving on mobile data fees, helps big time. switch to time warner cable. for $89.99 a month you'll get free hd channels, 100 meg internet and unlimited calling to half the world. we can call aunt rose as much as we want now. switching is easy. get our exclusive 1-hour arrival window, a money-back guarantee with no contract to sign. plus get free installation, tv equiment and epix included. really? honest...no.
uth, so help you god? s?. you know what? i bet he got a speeding ticket. see, because, when mexicans get their car started, they have to drive real fast so they can get where they're going before the car stalls again. mr. lopez, you were cited for causing a traffic jam on the fast lane of the hollywood freeway. i was driving in the fast lane, s?. but i was going as fast as i could. but it says on the traffic ticket you were only going 35 miles an hour. but that's as fast as my car can go! then in that case, you shouldn't have been in the fast lane. you should have been driving in the slow lane, as the law requires. i didn't know that! [speaking spanish] what did you say?
well, ignorance of the law is no excuse. i have no alternative but to find you guilty. see, that's what was wrong. he let the judge know he was ignorant. now, whatever you do, don't let the judge know how ignorant you are. i fine you $25. pay the cashier on your way out. thank you. [speaking spanish] [bangs gavel] what did you say? didn't know that. [inaudible] this is the right courtroom. they gotta be here somewhere. oh, there they are! all: hey, fred! hey! hey! hey, come on down! hey, would you guys move?
these are my friends. yeah, excuse me. yeah, thanks a lot. hey, hey, come on down! [judge pounds gavel] judge: court will be in order. say, what are those clowns doing here? i invited them to come. why? because, when the judge see you got a lot of friends, it'll be good for character witnesses. hey, hey, how you doing? hey, bubba. i'm glad y'all could make it. lamont sanford. either they leave or i'm leaving, because i'm not gonna stay here-- lamont sanford. hey, they called your name. go on up there, son. go ahead. [all talking at once] lation of section 21803 of the vehicle code, failure to yield the right of way. how do you plead? no, uh, not guilty. is the arresting officer present? yes, your honor. judge: please take the stand. hey, fred. huh? 2 to 1, he's found guilty. put your money where your mouth is. i got 2 bucks says he's guilty. all right. how about you, grady? you want some? i'll put 50 cents on it.
let me have part of it. i'll give each one of you a quarter. where's your $2.00, fred? no, $1.00, it's 2 to 1, ain't it? ok. all bets in. the defendant will take the stand. do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you god? i do. be seated. will you tell the court what happened? um, well, your honor, i realize now that the legal thing to do mes just being legal isn't all there is to it. see, all i was doing was trying to avoid an accident, but it turns out that that was the right thing to do, but not the legal thing to do. hey, he look good. do i still have to give 2 to 1? no, i'll be you another dollar, even money. ok. officer, what was the condition of the other car? he had plenty of time to stop. i object, your honor! may i ask the arresting officer
would be better asked by your council. are you represented by council? well, see, when i came up here, i figured-- uh, pardon me, judge. did you say that that question could be better answered by his council? that is correct. who are you? i'm his council. [all talking at once] [bangs gavel] order in the court. you say you're the council for the defendant? i've been counseling all his life, and i want to ask this officer here a question. very well. proceed. now, here's the question. what have you got against black drivers? [all shouting at once] order! order! i will not tolerate these outbursts! and you will restrict your inquiry
a black man ain't got a chance down here. i'm black! well, you the judge, that don't count. listen, why don't you arrest some white drivers? i do. you do? well, where are they? look at all these niggers in here. look around here! there's enough niggers in here to make a tarzan movie! [all shouting at once] order! order in this courtroom! mr. sanford, i suggest you write your congressman or the newspapers to express your views. well, listen, judge. a courtroom is where you come to get justice, ain't it? and that's what i'm looking for, is justice. and i demand justice! [all shouting at once]
now, another demonstration like that, and i'll clear the courtroom. you two, stand before the bench. lamont: uh-oh. i have taken into consideration the testimony in this case and have reached a decision. it seems to me that you're a pretty conscientious young man. and taking into consideration the 2 hazards confronting you, you acted with reasonable judgment. i find you not guilty and order this case dismissed. hey! order. hey, son, i defended you real good, didn't i? and judge, if i hadn't spoke up for our rights like i did, you would have found him guilty, wouldn't you? wouldn't you judge, right? wrong. huh? because i've also come to a decision about you. who, me? yes, you.
i have no choice but to find you in contempt of this court. judge, i don't have no contempt for this court! i did, but i don't now! you're fined the sum of $25. pay on your way out. 25 bucks! listen, brother, you gave-- and if you utter one more word, the fine will be increased by another $25! next case. [inaudible]
it never would have happened. look, i wouldn't have even been in that courtroom if you hadn't decided to fight the ticket. if i hadn't decided to fight the ticket? you were the one who said i should fight it, i wanted to pay it, remember? you did? well, then, since you were going to pay it, then give me my 25 bucks back, and we'll be even. why should i give you $25? because things will be just like they were before you changed your mind. and i'll have my 25 bucks back. yeah, and i'd be out of 25 bucks. we'll split the difference. give me 12.50. no. uh, what about 6.25? no. well, wait a minute. what's half of 6.25? forget it. forget it? well, i'm never going to be your counselor again. next time you in trouble,