tv CBS Evening News With Scott Pelley CBS November 15, 2016 6:30pm-7:00pm EST
go away, esther. i'm trying to sleep. fred, it's calvin. how's your throat? still a little horse. oh, yeah? so is he. [laughing] this is general reed. i bought all this stuff from daniel perkins who retired, and i am here to make you a beautiful business proposition. what's the proposition? show it to you. all right? now, i have got a wagonload of junk here. you're in the junk business, i've got junk, so let's make a deal. ok. if the price is right. aah! i'm asking 200. i'm answering 50. all right. for you, i'll go down a little lower: 100.
[higher-pitched voice] 50. and that's as high as i'm gonna get. all right. i'll take it. $50, but that's only for the junk... not general lee, here. no, for $100, you couldn't buy this horse. what would i want with a horse, anyway? i don't need no horse. let me ask you a question. what? why not the horse? why aren't i selling the horse? how much? no. no. i can't sell this horse. this is a living, breathing thing. it's got a heart, it's got a lung, it's got a liver, it's got a strong back, and all that stuff. [coughing] i'll tell you what. i'll throw in $10 extra for this living, breathing, stinking horse.
$10 for a thoroughbred-- or a pet. thorough pet. i heard that. you said thoroughbred. that's what you said. he's a thoroughbred. well, so what if i did? how did perkins get a thoroughbred? he stole him. stole him? that makes you a horse thief. no, it don't. he stole him. i bought him. well, it makes you a horse thief once removed. and once removed, om 10-20. yeah, i know. i don't know why anybody'd want to buy a horse like this, anyway. i mean, what are you gonna do with a thoroughbred racing horse if he can't race anymore? yeah. that's right. i'll give you 20 for him. $20? yeah. for the senior citizen secretariat? let me think. 20 for the horse, 50 for the wagon. take it or leave it or lump it. well...
well... going twice. well... that's your last trip to the well, calvin. well, i'll take it. well, i'll go get it. what'd i tell you, general lee? you can fool some of the people some of the time, but fred sanford always. ? fools rush in where wise men never go ? ? i'm gonna buy a thoroughbred and make a lot of dough ? ? la da da da ? he's so dumb and so smart at the same time. well... good-bye, general lee. here you go. 70 bucks.
fred, please take care of him. ok. and here's his papers in his hat. right. good. you got a real... you got a real bargain there, fred. [feigning crying] calvin! good-bye, grady. oh, ho, ho. hey, you know, in all the years that i've known him, that's the first time we've ever had a real conversation. he's mine, grady. you're looking at a million dollars worth of horse. oh, yeah? where is it? behind this one? no, grady. this one. oh, this horse don't look like he's worth anything to me, fred. that's because you don't know nothing about horses. see, this ain't just a junk wagon horse. this is a racehorse. this is a racehorse? that's right. well, i'll tell you what, fred.
you see, he ain't racing anymore. well, you can say that again. he ain't racing anymore. say--say, fred, will you please tell me why you bought that horse? same reason the millionaires bought secretariat when he finished racing. and why was that? to make him a proud father. i don't get it. he will. here, grady, and let me clear it up for you. yeah, yeah. clear it up for me, fred. see, a stud racehorse-- now, that's a horse that when he get finish racing and you take him out to the farm, and then--and then they put some mares around him one night when the moon is mellow and they're full of hopes, and pretty-- see, it's like the birds and the bees. oh, yeah! now i got it!
and every time wn wants to mate his mare with secretariat, they got to pay $100,000. good goobily goop. you see, if my horse can just get 2-3,000, i'll be rich. w. how--how often do you think he can do that? i figure every saturday night. or early sunday morning. [horse whinnying] listen, grady, he know the weekend's coming. say--say, fred, did you tell lamont about this? no. i'm gonna surprise him. how are you gonna surprise him? he's gonna see the horse as soon as he drives up on the truck. yeah. maybe i better hide him. well, it ain't easy to hide a horse, fred. nothing's easy for you, grady.
that difficult problems become easy. oh. where you gonna hide him, fred? in the kitchen. you know--t-t-that's why you're a genius. [laughing] i never would've thought of that. i'd have hid him in the bathroom. good-bye, grady. yeah. see you later, fred. 'cause if you hide him in the bathroom, come on, general. come on, general. come on in here where i can hide you from lamont. easy, now. come on in. he won't know what to say when he sees you. just come on with me, and take your time now. don't knock nothing over. come on in. there you go. stay--ooh, easy, now. you stay right in here.
i got something for you. ? doo de doo do do ? now, wait a minute. wait a minute. i better not give you this. sugar is fattening, and i want you nice and slim and trim for your first date. [truck engine] what's lamont doing home this early? wait a minute. don't move. [horse whinnies] ep it down. shh. shh. hey, pop, what's that wagonload of junk doing in the yard? well, you see, dan perkins retired, and he sold it to calvin, and i bought it from calvin. how much? 70 bucks. $70, are you crazy, pop? that isn't even worth $20,
pop, i want an answer. herince. see, i can breed him and get $1,000 a breed. er kitchen. no, what i mean is-- i know what you mean, pop, and i think it's ridiculous. i mean how do we even know that that horse is a thoug i got the papers. well, where are we gonna find mares to breed with him, pop? are we gonna take him on the "dating game?" stop trying to fight being a millionaire. look, if that horse is such a valuable thoroughbred, how come he's pulling a junk wagon instead of laying around on some farm between dates?
grady, did you look general lee up? no. no, i didn't have time, fred. i rushed right over from the library. say, what's that book about? it's a book about thoroughbred horses and all they reckon and everything. look here. there's general lee. born 1959. that's 9 times 7 goes into 38, multiply-- you know, he's 15 years old. wow. that would make him about 65 if he was a person, pop. yeah, he's pretty far gone, fred. what are you talking about, grady? i'm around 65, and i'm just in the prime of my life. when was the last time you were a father? that's none of your business.
lee's business. he was some kind of a horse. look here. general lee by confederate lad out of carolina bell. you hear that, lamont? yeah? so what? he won $200,000 as a 3 year old. and you 32, and you never seen $200,000. he--he pulled up lame in a stake race for 4 year olds and was retired. "g." what? "g!" i heard the "g." "g" what? "g" nothing. that's what it has here in the description. does it say what it means? no. i guess it means girl. let me see. girl? yeah. now, why would they name a horse-- a girl horse-- general lee? i don't know. maybe he was into wax.
what does that mean? it means you were right. that horse was into wax? no, grady. it means that he's... what--what do you mean, fred? it means we're finished, and so is he. well, i don't understand. grady, the horse has been fixed. fixed? yeah. see, he's fixed. well, why not? because he had a horseterectomy. the...the poor horse. maybe he can adopt, fred. shut up. hey, pop. pop, how come you didn't know that?
all i know is 4 things about horses: win, place, and show, and tearing up tickets. now neither one of those anytng to e kndo wit that the horse is not stolen. perkins probably picked that horse up for a song. by a soprano. shut up, grady. how did you let calvin con you into buying a lemon like that, pop? i mean howldnobofred sanford. i insisted on buying it. yeah, well, you better insist on something, 'cause that guy crenshaw is coming over here, and he's gonna take one look at that horse and he's gonna know the whole story behind him. i'll change his name. yeah. a lot of good that's gonna do. he'll look at that horse and he'll know it's been gelded. well, we g k. i got an idea. shut up, grady. yeah. that's good, too.
i don't believe this. if i live to be 357 years old, i won't believe this. how does he look? like al capone. oh, well, perhaps the hat is a bit much. yeah, yeah. the hat. the hat should go because the pants look normal. son, you see, i know this--this is stupid, and i'm just dumb, i guess, or stupid, but i didn't do it for me. oh, i know, pop. i did it for you. oh, sure. i know. i wanted you to have the things i never had. well, i'm just happy to have the things that he doesn't have. [horn honking] uh-huh. there's that guy crenshaw. yeah. listen, what you gonna tell him?
this is my father. wait till you hear this." stay out of it. just leave it. i'll take care of it myself. mr. sanford? yes. john crenshaw. it's a pleasure. mr. crenshaw, this is my son, lamont. how you doing? how do you do? the pants. yeah, the pants. they're nice, aren't they? where did you get them? no. i mean the horse's pants. oh. that's my idea. i thought since he's such a great racehorse, i would just keep his legs warm. a thoroughbred? sure. and as soon as we finish making our deal, i'll go in the house and try to find them.
general lee. general lee? yeah. born 1959. 1959. yes. yeah. it was confederate lad out of carolina bell. and that's not all he's out of. good-bye, inheritance. you're trying to sell me a gelding for breeding purposes, mr. sanford? gelding? a gelding? i--i didn't know this was a gelding horse. i thought it was a racehorse. hey, come on, pop. the race is over. mr. sanford, just--just how much did you think you could get for this horse? oh, $100,000. $50,000. i'd ever sell him for $30,000. would you take 25? $25,000? uh, no. $25. $25? that's right. you see, mr. sanford,
and i would rather spend $25 to keep him in a pasture then to see him pulling a junk wagon. well, i'm a sentimentalist, too, and i wouldn't part with him for less than 50. well, in that case-- wait a minute. how 'bout 30, and i'll throw in the pants? that's a deal. well, at least you got something out of it. yeah. i didn't do too bad. there's one thing i can't understand, pop. why would they geld a horse in the first place? well, maybe it'll make him run faster. but how could that be? well, i know if they was gonna do that to me,
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i rubbed it on my throat. oh, pop. hey, how was dinner? which one? that one. oh...was this dinner? i thought this was a test for tumtums. don't be smart. what was wrong with it? well, everything was overcooked, the roast was leathery, and that's the first time i ever ate hashed black potatoes. i'm sorry, son. i just can't get poor general lee off my mind. well, i got a call from mr. crenshaw. what did he want? well, he said that general lee is doing fine. well, what's wrong with that? that's good. yeah. and he loves it in the new pasture and he seems--seems to be very happy. he's living with another horse. wait a minute. general lee is living with another horse?