tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC February 8, 2016 11:35pm-12:37am EST
be courteous. last night an estimated 112 million americans watched the denver broncos beat the carolina panthers. it was the third most watched super bowl ever. you know what the most-watched super bowl ever was? me neither, way hoping one of you would know. the game pitted the number one offense against the number one defense. the defense prevailed. the broncos won despite the fact that puppymonkeybaby had more manning. what is the deal? three different commercials for die later, constipation, and toenail fung gus. enjoy your nachos and don't take off your shoes. this is peyton manning's second per bowl title and his family was there in a box cheering for him, including brother eli who has two super bowl rings himself as quarterback for the new york giants. watch eli's reaction as the broncos scored a touchdown in
>> the manning family. >> jimmy: that to me seemed like the look of someone who had money on the panthers, didn't it? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: this is an interesting contrast. this is how tom brady celebrated on the field after he won the super bowl last year. by kissing his supermodel wife gisele. there is how peyton manning celebrated last night. by kissing papa john. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: nice. he must really love pizza. how many free bread sticks can one man eat? did you see any -- oh, this was a real interesting random celebrity sighting. this celebrity -- watch the man who passes by in the background here. >> past super bowl mvp who won the super bowl mvp award when
hometown of san diego, c.j. felt. he was trying to -- >> jimmy: was that suge knight? isn't he supposed to be in prison? we've got our own el chapo on our hands here. we hadve a real-life super bowl champion with us da, marcus ware from the broncos. [ cheers and applause ] also tonight, from the movie "room," the favorite to win the oscar for best actress this year brie larson is here with us. [ cheers and applause ] on top of all that it is mash-up monday where we mash two musical acts to form one glorious pun, a pun-hit wonder. tonight we combine neon trees and squeeze to form neon squeeze here on the show. [ cheers and applause ] how many of you went to or hosted a super bowl party last night? i hosted -- i'll tell you
for me it's not a super bowl party without two things. a bowl of raisins and a pitcher of water. you know? is that just me? here's a super bowl party that sounded interesting, a real ad from craigslist in chicago. clown needed for super bowl party. free booze. we're having a super bowl party and require a clown. you don't have to do anything except get drunk and be a clown. maybe someone will have sex with you after. no pay but you are encouraged to get blackout drunk. don't worry, we won't do anything weird to you after you pass out. anyway, we did investigating. you know turns out whose party this is? this was? oprah's. oprah winfrey's super bowl party. since she stopped doing the show she's really cutting loose. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: did any of you not watch the games last night? okay. a couple. there are 320 million people in the united states, they say 112 million watched the super bowl. which means more than 200
super bowl. i don't know who these maniacs are. i very much hope the department of homeland security is keeping an eye on them. the super bowl is what most everyone's talking about today. so for those of you who missed it i'm going to break down what happened. actually what happened at my party yesterday. using the universal language of emoji. join me and we'll brk it all down. all right. so -- first of all, the broncos played the panthers in super bowl 50. in san francisco. my cousin sal ran the super bowl pool at my house. some of my friends had a lot of money. on the panthers. lady gaga sang the national anthem. it was good. but it really lasted forever. i made smoked chicken wings. the game was kind of boring
at this point my friends who bet on the panthers weren't just buzzed, they were hammered. final score was broncos 24, panthers 10. and after the game peyton manning said he would drink a lot of budweiser. and then he kissed papa john. so there you go. there you have it, that's what happened. [ cheers and applause ] that was my house during the super bowl. so this super bowl was -- >> wait! >> jimmy: what? >> the super bowl was yesterday? >> jimmy: yeah. >> super bowl 50? >> jimmy: yeah, super bowl 50, why? >> oh my god. i was too late. i traveled back too late! >> jimmy: what do you mean you traveled back too late? >> i'm a time traveler! i'm from the year 2525! all my training, all my years at the academy and i failed!
>> jimmy: don't say that, were you going to kill a murderer like hitler or something like that? >> no, nothing like that. >> jimmy: were you going to make a big bet and you'd be itch and forever? >> no! >> jimmy: oh. what were you going to do? >> i came to be a halftime show backup dancer for bruno mars! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'm sorry. but just -- for my own curiosity, why bruno mars, why not beyonce? >> i don't know who that is. >> jimmy: you don't know who beyonce is? >> oh about it bruno mars! >> jimmy: wow. >> since i was a boy in the future i've dreamed of joining bruno on stage at the super bowl in the year 2016. and together we will dance to "uptown funk," the hottest hit of 2014! >> jimmy: sorry that didn't work out, that's a bummer. can't you just get in your time machine and go back a day and a half? >> no! i destroyed it! >> jimmy: why did you destroy
i make bad decisions! >> jimmy: oh. well, maybe -- would it make you feel better if you did the backup dancing for me? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i know i'm not bruno mars. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: just stand behind me and you can do whatever dance you worked on for all that time -- >> just watch! >> jimmy: yeah, all right. so how many did you train for this? >> ten years! ten straight years! >> jimmy: it's really -- i tell you, i only wish i could turn well, you're doing a great job. hey, we have to take a break. when we come back we have a new explore. for a while. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we'll go through the hottest moments ever from saturday night. we'll be right back.
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>> jimmy: still to come, demarcus ware and mashup monday. music from neon squeeze is on the way. another episode on "the bachelor" tonight. this is week six, a special week. week six, that means the bachelor season has officially lasted longer than most botch lar relationships. this is where it really gets special. ben and the ladies travel to the bahamas this weekend. much of the drama centered around olivia. there's always a crazy one. ben had a very strong connection with olivia.
her because, well, she's kind of terrible. and so olivia tonight got the ax on the dreaded two on one date. the two on one date is always uncomfortable because one of the women on the date is definitely going home. look at this, you can see the body language here. however this winds up going, those two are going to be friends farefriend s for a very long time. ben, olivia and emily went to a private island, olivia told ben she was in love women him, ben told her he was not. >> what i thought ben wanted was everything that i am. but -- i guess not. >> jimmy: okay, that is my favorite thing they do on the show. the two on one dump. the bachelor tells one of the women she's staying and then leaves the other one all alone in some desolate place. last year the bachelor chris
and flew off in a helicopter. this year ben left olivia on the beach. so he rides off in the boat. and i guess all olivia can do is hope they shoot "bachelor in paradise" on that island that someone comes to save her. at the road ceremony ben breaks another woman's heart, he sent the kindergarten teacher lauren h. on. he did not desert her on an island, he walked her to her limo. something i've not seen, pay attention to the end of the clip here. >> i'm sorry. >> good luck. >> jimmy: all right, watch right here. she get in the car. and you see there's a sound guy in the back seat. you never realize when they take these women away crying, not only is there a camera guy in the front seat, there's a sound guy sitting right next to her in the back.
the shot for quite a while. >> i don't really get it. i don't really get what he -- what he wanted. why is it so hard to fall in love? they don't get me, they don't want me -- >> i get you, i want you. >> i was trying to fall in love with him. >> i can make you happy. i have a job. i'm a sound guy on a very popular show. do you watch "the bachelor"? >> jimmy: sometimes you find love where you least expect it. [ cheers and applause ] speaking of reality shows. the new hampshire primary is tomorrow. on saturday abc news hosted the eighth republican debate. the big moment as you probably have seen is at the givening.
because he couldn't hear his name when he was introduced. he messed up his entrance, that messed up everyone else's entrances too. watch this, this is a five-carson pileup. chris christie was the first one. >> new jersey governor chris christie. >> jimmy: here he comes no bell. problem. after that ben carson's name. and oh -- oh, let me help out here. ben! ben, they called your name, it's time to come on out! ben? okay, ben's not -- you know you're not supposed to wake a sleepwalker. >> ted cruz -- >> no, no, ted -- ted, wait -- ted -- all right, ted. so ben, you've got to -- it's time for you to come out now. tell him to come -- the guy's telling -- all right. anyway. ben? here comes donald trump. donald, you're -- no, no, not
guys, guys. you're supposed to -- you're supposed to be out there now. understand? donald! >> former florida governor -- >>. >> jimmy: no, it's not jeb! jeb, you've got to wait for the other guys. guys? i don't know what's going on heerl. here. you're supposed to be on the -- now there's two spots empty. >> see if he's standing there as well, dr. carson. >> jimmy: no, there's two empty spots. oh, now he's -- all right. now you've got to go out. wait a minute. what's he doing back here now? >> welcome back to the main stage, donald trump. >> jimmy: donald, you -- donald goes out there and we're left with him. what about him? who is this by the way? >> we're going to introduce ohio governor john kasich. >> jimmy: oh, all right, it's john kasich. all right.
debates again. one of the greatest clips ever. we have a good show. "mashup monday," music from neon squeeze. from the super bowl champion denver broncos, demarcus ware is here, and we'll be right back with brie larson. so stick around! [ cheers and applause ] >> announcer: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by mountain dew kick-start. three awesome things combined. dew.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, there, welcome back. tonight, from the super bowl champion denver broncos, demarcus ware is here. he came straight in from the postgame party so we're hoping for the best. then, the triumphant return of mash-up monday which happens all this month on monday nights. tonight, neon trees join forces with squeeze to form "neon squeeze" from the samsung stage. it should be a lot of fun. tomorrow night we have a good show. bill maher will be here along with oscar nominee alicia vikander. we'll have music from nothing but thieves. and later this week, sacha baron cohen, owen wilson, zendaya, and music from alessia cara and ma-na. right? >> guillermo: that's right. >> jimmy: it is most appropriate our first guest tonight is
super bowl because i ate almost a whole wheel of her cheese yesterday during the game. she is a very talented actress who won a critics' choice, sag award and golden globe for her work in the movie "room." next, she is nominated for best
actress at the oscars, please say hello to brie larson. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you! that was such a nice way to sit down. >> jimmy: isn't it a nice way. >> back home it doesn't work like that. bam! >> jimmy: you look great, you smell good. you estimate down right at the drumbeat, everything's going your wayness it's all good. >> jimmy: what did you do for the super bowl? >> it was the super bowl yesterday? >> jimmy: it was yeah. you don't care? >> i ate chips. so i feel like i did watch the super bowl. >> jimmy: what kind of chips did you have? >> well -- there's a trader joe's brand. >> jimmy: oh, okay.
that's all you need to know. >> jimmy: sat in front of a darkened tv and ate orange chips. how very sad, how sad that is. >> i was surrounded by people that i love. it wasn't that sad. >> jimmy: they didn't care about the game either? >> no. my mom went to a party in the palisades so i knew about it that way. >> jimmy: you know who won? >> the --ougars? i know it wasn animal. >> jimmy: yeah. >> right? >> jimmy: you got it right. >> was it a mammal? >> jimmy: yeah, it was a mammal. >> okay. you had to think about it? >> jimmy: could have been a reptile. could have been a snake or something. but yeah, yeah. >> you know what it is. >> jimmy: sure, i know, yeah. >> so does it have fur? >> jimmy: yes, it has fur. kind of. hair, i guess. >> okay, okay, okay, okay. >> jimmy: no fur. >> the bears? the cubs? no. [ bleep ]. i'm not going to keep going with this. >> jimmy: it doesn't matter. you'll figure it out when the guy from the team comes out here. >> he's here?
>> jimmy: he's big too. >> is he going to sit here? >> jimmy: isn't it funny, his whole world right now is people going crazy congratulating him. >> he won. >> jimmy: you have no idea that he won yeah. to you ease a guy in an orange shirt. >> he probably hasn't seen my movie. >> jimmy: i'm going to ask him when he comes out and then you're going to feel real bad when he's like, i loved "room." that was a great movie, you did a great job. >> thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you did a great job and the kid jacob did a great job. he's such a cute kid. >> you got to meet him. >> jimmy: i love that kid. >> isn't he the best. >> jimmywas he a pain at all? he seems delightful. >> he's an angel, the most fun person ever. we've gotten so close at this point that we have this symbiotic relationship that's gone beyond the movie. like for instance, at the s.a.g. together. they pull us together. most people when you're a
so you know to like sit and be still. he's like all over the place. he was like -- chocolate covered strawberries, hey, pal, no, we're not doing that. going for crackers, no, we're not doing that. hey! tina fey was trying to talk to me but i was like, there's a small person that i'm in charge of and their parents are going to kill me if i lose him and i just kept redirecting him. hey, why don't you sit by me? >> jimmy: you were babysitting. >> i was babysitting but this guy came up to me after watching me and he was like, how old's your son? i got a 6-year-old back at home. and i was like, oh, no. i was so embarrassed. oh, no, no, he's just my friend. and that doesn't really work either. i think it's going to be awhile before we understand our relationship. >> jimmy: yeah. eventually it will happen. >> eventually one day. >> jimmy: when you went up to accept the award, because you won at the s.a.g. awards, he was left unattended? >> no, his parents were there. i mean when we were backstage. >> jimmy: i see, gotcha. >> backstage you don't go, can i
you just go back and wait. >> jimmy: are you overwhelmed? i think you've won how many award news? can you count them? is it in bad taste to count them? >> i think it might be. i have been kind of wondering what i was supposed to do with all of them at this point. >> jimmy: what are you supposed to do with them? >> i have this weird dream there's some weird cave if i place them all together, like something magical happens. like maybe they all fit together. like indiana jones. >> jimmy: or they arm together and kill you. >> they turn into a big transformer and they're like, your ego's too big! and that's how i die. i would love to die from awards. that would be okay with me. that's good. i almost choked on these chips yesterday and i was like, no, no, this isn't how i'm going to go! but awards would, i would go with that. >> jimmy: some of them are pointy and dangerous. they're not all safe. they're not something a child should be around. >> chips? >> jimmy: either of them. chips and awards.
in the movie "chips" and you got an award for that. >> can we invent this right now? >> know some people, i can get you in. >> sony? "chips" is big. >> jimmy: dak shepard is still working on it -- >> not those chips. >> i'm talking about -- never mind. you know what the odds in las vegas are on your -- you winning the academy award? >> i don't. i don't know. i didn't pay attention to that. but -- >> jimmy: they're way better than the broncos' were yesterday. >> the broncos? [ laughter ] >> oh, thank you! now i don't have to be embarrassed already. >> jimmy: like we're playing "password" here. >> it's not a she that is coming on the show? >> jimmy: it's a man, yeah. they don't have any female players on the team. it's very sectionist. >> they don't? that's why i don't watch it. that's super weird. i was thinking the coug gor scougars.
interesting. i watched the puppy bowl which is pretty exciting. i thought i was going to be on the puppy bowl. >> jimmy: why? >> because -- well, because i made a mistake. >> jimmy: what was the mistake? >> directv asked me to be part of this celebrity football game. and i was like, oh, it's before the football game, it's before the super bowl, they're not going to actually have us play, it's going to be us talking and a camera going around, we're here. i didn't realize until i got there and they like handed me a jersey, oh, no. >> jimmy: when was this? >> like three, four years ago. >> jimmy: okay. >> and i -- >> jimmy: i know what this game is. >> elilianning was my coach. >> jimmy: eli manning, okay, yeah. >> warren moon was also on the team. and i immediately was like, i got to learn how to play football, i guess. i was trying to casually --ni i didn't know who were the celebrities and who were the football players. would you play ball with me? just guessing. warren moon was like, sure. i had no idea who he was. he starts passing it back and forth to me.
catching things. then we played like a live game. and the whole time we'd do these like huddles where you get real close. >> jimmy: that's what they call them, yarchlts getting close together and warren would keep going, larson's the secret weapon! i was like, no, no. no, no, that's not what's happening right now. he was like, i watched her on the field! i was like, i just threw a football for the first time, there's no way you thought i was joking. he thought maybe i was joking to trip up the other team but i really was that bad. it wasn't a move. >> jimmy: did he pass the ball to you during the game? >> the final -- we needed like one more pass to win. and i was open. that's the correct term? >> jimmy: that's right, yeah. >> i was open and he had this moment where he could, it's all in slow motion for me because everything's like a movie. he could have had this moment, she could look and should i run with this? look at me, throw it. he ended up just running. immediately got tackled, we lost the game. he was so sad the whole time.
the secret weapon, i screwed it up. i was like,whoo, yeah, you screwed that one up, i would have gotten that one all the way home for sure. so i got to be the hero that never got to be the hero and i want to leave it at that. forever. >> jimmy: in a way you weren't even really the hero. but i think that's a positive way of looking at it. >> really i was the hero. >> jimmy: your team lost, right? >> but i was the hero. >> jimmy: but you were the hero, yeah. yeah. >> i learned how to play football, kind of. the i would love to find this footage. i think the whole thing's live. on the field, i don't know what to do, i don't know what to do! he's like, just go! i don't know which way to run, that's a problem. that's a big issue. if you don't know which direction you're supposed to go. >> jimmy: you know what would be great at the oscars when they show the clip of movie, instead you supply a clip of you playing football from this event. >> is that a good idea? >> jimmy: it's a real good idea. >> i'm all about self-deprecation but -- i don't know..
i think it would be a good thing. >> yeah. >> jimmy: yeah, just something to think about. >> i'll think about it. >> jimmy: you're a big favorite. and by the way, deservedly so, you did a great job in the movie. >> thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you're excited? >> yeah. >> jimmy: i would think so. >> yeah. of course. it's super weird and cool. >> jimmy: it is super weird. do you want to stay out for the football player from the team? do you remember what the team was? >> the -- broncos. i love the broncos. >> you're more than welcome. or you can run. xhnchts way >> which way, though? that's the thing, i don't know, i don't remember how i came in here. >> jimmy: we'll discuss it during the commercials. "room" is in theaters right now, brie is on the oscars sunday, february 28th, 7:00 eastern, 4:00 pacific here on abc.
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last night, our next guest used every one of his 258 pounds of muscle to wrestle and thwart the carolina panthers and help his underdog broncos win super bowl 50, and the fans in denver rejoice! please welcome demarcus ware. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: well, first of all, congratulations. how are you doing? >> good, good, good. >> jimmy: how much sleep did you get last night? >> maybe two hours of sleep. >> jimmy: two hours, thanks for coming. >> two hours' sleep, feel great, awesome. >> jimmy: what guess on after you win the super bowl? >> a lot of partying, confetti, and guys still have hennessey bottles out right now. >> jimmy: where does the party happen?
it was like an after after party downtown. i couldn't make that because i'm here right now. >> jimmy: oh, all right, thank you. do you think there are still guys there? >> they're still there right now, probably laying down on the ground. >> jimmy: did you hold it in one of the guys' rooms or did you have the banquet facility? >> the banquet facility. >> jimmy: did peyton bring papa john to the party? >> maybe he kissed him while he was there. >> jimmy: are you still happy? did you make fun of him for kissing papa john? >> i just seen that. that would be a good photoshop going on when i get become to the locker room and put it in everybody's locker. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: the parade is tomorrow morning. >> yes. >> jimmy: are you excited about that? the parade? >> i am. it's so many denver fans, they've been wanting it so bad. we didn't do too well two years ago. >> jimmy: this year was up and down. really it's shocking how the season turned out. >> we pulled it out.
legalized recreational marijuana. >> that's a different story right there. >> jimmy: i hope people remember to show up for the parade. folks? i know we're celebrating but there's nothing sadder than a parade with no people at it. so please, remember to show up. >> it will be a little slower, a little slower. >> jimmy: brie didn't mention she's a big, big fan of yours and the super bowl -- >> love it! couldn't stop talking about it! >> jimmy: every sunday she's right there in front of -- >> i mean, you know, i watch movies all the time. and i said, it's just so awesome to see her on "compton." bam! it is what it is. it's good. you know, with "room" and the nomination that you got is awesome. to see that. [ cheers and applause ] >> i can't believe it. >> jimmy: demarcus looks a little bit like the oscar. >> just like it. >> jimmy: he could be living on
this has nothing to do with football. you tweeted something that i was very interested in. said something to the effect of you tweeted a picture of shelves and said you're obsessed with shelves. >> you move into a new condo, you're like, i'm going to take the cheap route. go to ikea. you go in there, i'm not going to pay $300 and make them put it together. you don't know it's an a to z deal that you have to put together. >> jimmy: right. >> and i said, to hell with these shelves. that's what i said. to be honest with you. >> jimmy: you're anti-shelves? >>ian anti-shelves. >> jimmy: wow, this is a different thing, i didn't realize. >> you're pro-shelves just not the ones you have to make yourself. >> jimmy: it's a good thing you get a ring, not a trophy. >> exactly, exactly. >> poor shelves. worst thing ever. congrats on the super bowl, here's your ikea shelves. >> jimmy: that would be a real win for ikea though. >> right, right. >> jimmy: is it fun? certainly in the super bowl when
but sacking a man, that seems to me like it would be -- achievements in athletics, that would be one of the best, isn't it? >> you know, it's for me -- i don't get to score touchdowns. for me, getting to the quarterback, taking him down, that's my touchdown. >> jimmy: yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: when you pounce on the man and then you have him down on the ground -- >> yes. >> that's super weird. as someone who does not know super bowl that sounds super weird. >> jimmy: it is weird. these men are chasing each other all over the place. when you tackle the guy, you're familiar with this, of course. when you tackle him, you have him on the ground, do you speak to him, say anything? >> you know, actually, when i hit him, it's like oof! it takes the brett breath away. >> jimmy: the quarterback? >> that's gratifying to me. i know that i got it, yeah. >> it sounds weirder as you go on.
>> it's getting worse the more you talk about it. more interesting to watch than i once thought. >> jimmy: do you ever hear a little yelp? a whimper of any kind? >> you know what -- >> jimmy: if you tackled me i'd go, agh! >> a guy screeched one time. i'm not going to call out the quarterback's name. he didn't see me, i hit him so hard, he was like, agh! [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] the first time i ever heard that. >> jimmy: you won't mention that guy? >> no i won't do that, no. >> jimmy: wow, all right. >> you want it. >> jimmy: yeah. >> no, i'm not going to do that. >> jimmy: i'd love to know. was it tony romo? >> no, it wasn't tony romo. no, not -- no, no. >> jimmy: it was not tony romo. >> not tony. >> jimmy: okay,
because i've heard him squeak a couple of times. >> it wasn't tony this time. >> jimmy: okay, all right. can i go through all the quarterbacks and we'll figure out who it was? >> no.
the super bowl -- by the way, did you know what peyton announced, did you know that he was going to say that, that he was retiring at the parade? >> when did you hear this? >> jimmy: just like right before -- >> are you sure? >> jimmy: i don't know, i'm fishing, i'm making things up. that's what i do
for a living, yeah. do you think peyton is going to retire after this? >> you know, i don't know. but i just know that, him winning this game put him on top. if he is going to do it, this is a great time to do it. if he wants to play a little bit more, i feel like he still has a little bit in the tank. >> jimmy: was it peyton manning who made that noise when you sacked him? >> no. >> jimmy: it was not? >> you're still fishing. but guess what. he did have the same type of jersey on, i'll give you that. >> jimmy: oh, whoa! was it jake plummer? >> no, you got to go back a little bit further. royal blue. >> jimmy: oh.
getting closer -- >> jimmy: oh my god. he wore an 18 also? >> he wore 18. >> jimmy: oh my god. i should know this. who is it? >> it's not tony romas? >> jimmy: that's a restaurant. you can't tackle a restaurant. >> that's what i thought you were talking about this whole time. pizza place, ribs place? >> jimmy: we're going to figure it out. congratulations, it's great to see you. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you for staying out with us. brie larson and demarcus ware, everybody. the super bowl champion. we'll be right back with neon squeeze! >> announcer: the jimmy kimmel
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you now that you been gone this is "nightline." >> tonight, down to the wire. on the eve of the new hampshire primary -- >> he's a total stiff, jeb bush. >> donald trump bashing a rival but also voicing a surprising lack of confidence. >> who knows what's going to happen? >> a once-surging marco rubio today criticized to his face by a voter. on the democratic side, bill clinton on the attack. >> vicious trolling --