tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC February 24, 2015 11:35pm-12:38am EST
>> jimmy: thank you, hi, everybody. a spirit of harmony tonight, and i wondered if it has anything to do with the big news from apple? did you hear about this? you know what imoges are, the little sad faces and it will event lay replace all language as we know it. for some reason, until now, the only people emoenlys you could get on your phone were white people imoges. you could send a little cartoon, but you could not send a people of color. there were 14 different imoges of train. no black people until yesterday. apple announced that at long last they're putting out what they call diverse imoge, which means we've finally achieved imoge equality here in the
united states. put them up on the big screen. you can see these emoenlys represent, we do not make these up. these are real, by the way. we have black guy, slightly less black guy. white guy, whiter guy. i don't know who this guy is to be honest with you, and pac man colored guy. so there you go. racism is officially over. congratulations, we did it! [cheers and applause] this is also exciting. this is also real. there is now a guillermo imoge. put that up there on the screen. [cheers and applause] >> yeah. >> jimmy: you got to grow one of those. i think lego colored guillermo is my favorite of all. i think dr. martin luther king
would be texting a lot of smiley faces today. meanwhile, we have a brand new crop of dancing stars. ten years, 20 [cheers and applause] i didn't expect you to applaud. i can't believe it either. among the stars, patti labelle , nastia liukin, the guy from shark tank, some somers. she's the thigh master, for god's sake. the first openly gay nfl player, michael sam, will be dancing this year. rumer willis is one of the stars this season, you may her from such work as her father being bruce willis. i don't know. there are a couple names you probably won't recognize, noah
galloway. he left his arm above the elbow and leg above the knee during the war in iraq. and charlotte mckinney did a top louse carl's jr. commercial. both inspirational stories. you'd have to be a real pervert to vote for her over him, wouldn't you? and they will be announcing one more surprise contestant before the season starts. i happen to know who it is, but i'm not supposed to say, no, it's actually pope francis. yeah. he's really loosening things up at the vatican. meanwhile in alaska today they officially legalized marijuana for recreational use. [cheers and applause] right now hundreds of eskimos are trying to figure out how to turn an igloo into a bong. alaska is the third state in the united states to legalize pot smoking for the hell of it, for reasons other than medical. i think they did this years ago,
i just aseoul that's how the palin kids ended up with those names, right? they do have some special rules in alaska. you're not allowed to smoke in public, and you have to follow special disposal rules. you can't just throw a joint in the trash. the last thing you want is a grizzly with the munchies. it could not have come at a better time. according to a new study, marijuana is the safest of alt recreational drugs. researchers say pot is safer than heroin, cocaine, tobacco, ecstasy, less deadly than alcohol. it's only dangerous if you live near a tau coe bell. stoned drivers are much less
deadly than drunk drivers, because they're driving 4 miles per hour. but did you know marijuana is the safest drug. it can lead to a lot of bad things, like white guys with dreadlocks. and that's something that affects all of us. this is from our fox affiliate here in l.a. there was a car chase in palm dale yesterday, which around here, this is what our newscast lives for. we love a good car chase. and listen in now as the newscasters do play by play. >> making a left there. >> spinning out. that's what you get when you go that fast. >> and continues on. >> there we go. >> boy, f-150. >> it's a big vehicle. very big vehicle. >> very sturdy truck. you can see why it's america's best seller. >> smoke coming from -- >> there's smoke on the right side of the window. >> smoke coming out of this
vehicle. perhaps it was a cigarette. >> it looked like something more than a cigarette, buddy. >> perhaps it was more than a cigarette. now we see more smoke billowing out of the window. >> it does appear -- >> that he's getting high. >> smoking. i don't know, i believe the term is hot boxing. >> jimmy: i do not have any experience with it, all i know is that the guy who sells me weed calls it. [cheers and applause] >> jimmy: it's exercise thing. recently i happened upon the work of a young film maker named morgan spence. he's 15 years old from scotland. he makes recreations of famous movie scenes using legos. here's some of his work. ♪
[ screaming ] >> here's johnny! [cheers and applause] >> jimmy: we have morgan live right now. hello, there, morgan. how are you? >> hi, how are you? >> jimmy: i'm doing well. that's very impressive work for a 15-year-old. i tell you that. >> thank you. >> jimmy: do you consider yourself to be a lego maniac? >> i've always had a lot of lego people. >> jimmy: have you ever swallowed a lego? >> i have, actually.
>> jimmy: you have. how long does it take you to make these movies? >> some are complex. usually a couple of weeks. >> jimmy: a couple weeks. so at our request, morgan graciously agreed to use his talents to create a scene from, you know the movie, ""the grand budapest hotel"? morgan recreated a scene from that film. are you ready to unveil this video to the world? >> yes. >> jimmy: all right. here it is. morgan's take on grand budapest hotel. >> what are you doing here? >> i've come to pay my respects to a grand woman whom i've loved. >> you're not getting [ bleep ], [ bleep ]. >> how's that supposed to make me feel? >> we're pressing charges!
>> this criminal has plagued my family for nearly 20 years. he's ruthless adventurer who preys on sick old ladies and probably [ bleep ] too. >> -- my friends. >> ooh! ♪ [cheers and applause] >> jimmy: that's great. very nicely morg morgan, are you planning to go to college to study film making? >> yeah, i think that would be an interesting field. >> jimmy: well, you're a very talented kid. thank you very much. that's morgan spence! [cheers and applause] i don't know, i was still lighting matchbox cars on fire when i was 15 years old. this is interesting. starbucks is going to stop selling cds or i should say
starbucks is going to stop attempting to sell cds. even though they're sitting next to the register, they stopped selling cds like four years ago. they will officially stop offering cds for sale at the stores by the end of march, but they will continue to sell slices of that pound cake with the white frosting on top that nobody eats. this, of course, is devastating news for nora jones. and, you know, starbucks isn't selling cds, what are we supposed to go there for? coffee? no thank you. hey, has anyone here in our studio audience tonight part of a book club? i didn't think so. book clubs seem to have gone out of style since the oprah show went offer the air, because raiding is the best thing you can do for your brain. in particular we need children to read. i started a book club. we had an interesting book this week. this happened when my club and i
sat down to discuss it. ♪ do you guys like reading? >> yeah. >> jimmy: is reading the best? >> yeah! >> jimmy: is reading even better than an ipad? >> no! >> who thinks ipads are better than a book? >> because there is some gaming that's called mine craft, and you need to build stuff. >> guess what. >> jimmy: what? >> i like books because it doesn't make your brain mush. >> jimmy: that's very good. this book is called "there was an old lady". >> who swallowed a fly. >> i know this book. >> jimmy: there was an old lady who swallowed a fly. i don't know why she swallowed a fly. she won't say why. there was an old lady who swallowed a cat, imagine that. she opened her throat and swallowed a goat. there was an old lady who swallowed a cow. i don't know how she swallowed
that cow. look, you see the cow and the goat and the dog and the cat and the bird and the spider and the fly. all flew out of her mouth. >> because she burped. after she coughed, she burped. >> jimmy: and then she was taken to prison. >> what? >> jimmy: yes, they took her to prison, because only an insane person would be swallowing live animals whole. she went to prison, did about eight years, i think, and she was released. and a weird thing, when she got out, first thing she did, you know what she did? >> what. >> jimmy: first thing, she swaul/add fire hydrant. >> what? >> jimmy: so what do you think of this book? >> i liked it. >> you know what? it was so funny she swallowed the goat. how did she swallow the goat without that pointy thing on the
goat's head? >> jimmy: oh, yeah. the horns. >> how did she not get stuck on the horns. >> i could eat a goat. >> jimmy: you could eat a goat? >> and a cow. >> look, you grab it and you have to fry it. >> jimmy: do you think could you eat a cow? >> yeah. how about a horse. >> jimmy: or a horse? >> no, i don't think i could. >> a lion? >> no. no. no. you cannot. not, not, not eat a lion. >> jimmy: a lion could eat us, right? >> no. >> jimmy: what? >> i'm just kidding. >> i could eat a pig. >> jimmy: you could eat a whole pig? you guys eat pigs? >> yes! >> i eat pork. >> i can eat a pork cake without biting it. >> you know bacon is made out of pigs. >> and i love bacon. >> it's called pork.
>> jimmy: mm-hm. ♪ bacon is a ♪ bacon is a mine craft ♪ bacon is on mine craft ♪ bacon is on mine craft >> jimmy: why do you feel like in the future this is all we're going to be saying? ♪ bacon is on mine craft >> i think i'm going to be done. >> jimmy: i think we created a new society. thanks, guys. and don't forget one important thing. bacon is on mine craft. >> yay! [cheers and applause] tonight on the show we have music from prince royce. bella thorne is here. and we'll be right back with will forte. so stick around! [cheers and applause]
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tonight from the new movie "the duff," bella thorne is here. then making his late night tv debut, a talented young man from the bronx, his single is called "stuck on a feeling," prince royce from the at&t stage. tomorrow night will smith will be our guest. from "marvel's agents of shield" elizabeth henstridge will join us. and we'll have music from sam hunt. and thursday viola davis, richard madden and music from liv warfield. our first guest is a very funny man you know from eight seasons of "saturday night live" and his performance in movies like "macgruber" and "nebraska." next you can see him star as the last man on earth in the new comedy "the last man on earth." it premieres sunday at 9 on fox. please welcome will forte. [cheers and applause] ♪ >> jimmy: how's it
can i ask you an embarrassing question? is it forte? or for-tay? >> i don't know the answer. i was just talking yesterday with a friend. i think some people go forte, and some people go fo >> jimmy: with you, i feel like don pardo decided how to pronounce it and we had to go with it from your days on saturday night live. >> i'll go with >> jimmy: i saw one of your shows. it's a great show. you guys are going to like it. thank you for being honest. you had a huge beard in the
show. your beard is nowhere near what it was during the show. how about that. [cheers and applause] >> it's a very beefy beard. >> jimmy: you can see more hair on top than on the bottom. you must have so much testosterone going through your body. >> i was very proud of being able to grow that. you start into that kind of adventure, and you just don't know how it's going to turn ou. i didn't know that's what was going to happen. >> jimmy: i don't think i could grow a beard like that. >> what's the longest you've ever grown? >> jimmy: like 14 year old mexican teenager. yeah. how long did it take you to grow that? >> that was about six months. >> jimmy: six months. that's very masculine. is it uncomfortable, though, having that? >> it's, definitely you are treated differently. having something like that on your face. a lot of it, you know, there are hipsters now, with all different
varying degrees of beard length, but nobody goes out this way, and that's, you can really tell there, because it was a fancy thing. >> jimmy: it's more like sideburns than beard. >> but if you pulled that out, it's not rivaling the guinness book guy who pulls it out like this. >> jimmy: it's very good. you could be a president like in 1840 with something like that. >> thank you, thank you very much. >> jimmy: and maybe you will. this picture was taken at the "saturday night live" 40th anniversary special. >> yeah. >> jimmy: keith richards, his hair's doing what your beard does. >> talk about 18th century. yeah, really. >> jimmy: you could put hill on money, no problem. in fact, let's do that tomorrow. let's put this face on money, and see if anybody likes the new $100 bill. you had eight seasons on "saturday night live." >> eight seasons, and it was so
fun to be back there for the 40th anniversary. it was a special place to be a part of and it brought back a lot of old memories. we had also done the 30 rock live taping there. i got a chance to be a part of that show, and they let us take over the snl stage that week and the dressing rooms as well. so i went to visit there. we decided we were going to take a couple pictures and send them to keenan thompson to show him like we pretended we were using his brush. and we pretended we were drinking his liquor. so we needed a capper. we decided the best way to cap that off was to pretend like i was sticking a bottle of liquor up my butt. so that's kind of the three distinct pictures we took and
sent them off to keenan. >> jimmy: you texted them to him? >> we texted them to him. >> jimmy: and he said what? >> he did not respond. yeah. it was. it was kind of a bummer. i wanted a reaction out of that. >> jimmy: yeah. >> i saw him two months later, and i said, did you ever get these pictures? he said what pictures. ansaid oh, i texted you these pictures. he said he changed his phone number. he had changed his phone number. so some picture out there has this picture of me sticking this bottle of liquor up my butt. >> jimmy: are these the photographs you brought along? >> yes. >> jimmy: let's take a look at these pictures. if you missed these pictures, there's kristin. there's keenan's hairbrush. and the next one is, what are you doing there? >> those are bottles of liquor. he doesn't have a problem.
>> jimmy: and? [ laughter ] [cheers and applause] >> jimmy: so then he may have continued to drink out of this bottle. >> i did not remove the cap. the cap is on. you may have -- the cap was touching my butt, but. >> jimmy: do not touch the cap, keenan! [cheers and applause] more with will forte after the break. >> dicky: portions of jimmy kimmel live are brought to you by at&t, mobilizing your world. beer, meat, and cheese. oh, and great friends to share them with. introducing the new bar snacks & apps menu. nothing makes you want to show up to the party sooner, stay out later, or one up louder. get a lot more bang, for a lot less buck.
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hey, what's up? >> just had to get out of the house. it's been a rough day. how about you, jimmy? no? okay. does anyone want a whiskey? huh, greg? kevin? anton? no? really? nobody? trevor? karen? tripp, darby? bryce? marsha, peter? max? diego? nobody wants a whiskey? okay, well, more for me. now jerry, you look like you've lost a little weight, what, were you exercising? whatever you're doing, keep it up. >> jimmy: that is will forte! "the last man on earth" premieres this sunday at 9pm on fox. i think people get the idea.
you're the last man on earth. >> i'm the last man on earth, a virus has kind of taken the lives of everybody, and i'm just scoured the country, looking for survivors, and haven't found any, so i'm just trying to figure out what to do and how to, there are so many things you take for granted. how does plumbing work? electricity, i'm just some -- >> jimmy: it's very, very funny, and it's also very creative the way you guys set it up. are you still shooting the first season? >> we did 13. we finished yesterday as a matter of fact. >> jimmy: very good. yeah, and it's just you, which is, it's unusual to see on television. >> it's just me. i want to assure people, that there are little twists and turns, so it will hopefully keep you interested, if you give it a shot. i'm very proud of this thing, but i'm used to being proud of
things and then nobody going to see them. you know, get he in at the beginning here. >> jimmy: the nice thing is people don't have to go anywhere. it comes right into their homes in television. are you still working now? >> well, no. no. no. we do have to do post-production process, but it's just catching up on stuff. honestly, today has been spent catching up on the bachelor. >> jimmy: so you are keeping busy. are you a bachelor fan? >> i love it. i love it. i saw you in your episode there. >> jimmy: i was on the bachelor this season. [cheers and applause] >> i can't explain, i cannot explain my love for it. i love it so much. >> jimmy: who do you hope for? >> i'm a little behind. i just got to the point that kelsey and ashley i, spoiler, spoiler? >> jimmy: yeah. >> two-on-one.
>> jimmy: yeah. >> two-on-one. >> jimmy: yeah, a two-on-one date. do you have any questions about the bachelor? maybe we could answer for you? it would help, probably, hold on a second. let me bring a friend of mine -- [cheers and applause] >> are you here for the right reason? >> i don't know what our kissing chemistry is like. >> there's only one way to find out. >> jimmy: hold a second! hold a second! [cheers and applause] >> that's the most exciting thing of all time. >> jimmy: where's my rose? do i have to go home now?
it's unbelievable. it's the bachelor, everybody! [cheers and applause] >> that was, that was awesome. >> jimmy: i heard you liked the bachelor, and chris has nothing to do, so ile to told him to co over and say hello to you. >> that was very fun. >> jimmy: you're blushing underneath that beard. >> it's like, i don't know how to describe it. it's a new feeling. >> jimmy: it's okay. this is how you fall into the bachelor vacuum. "the last man on earth" premieres this sunday at 9pm on fox. we'll be right back. [cheers and applause] >> dicky: the jimmy kimmel live concert series is presented by at&t, mobilizing your world.
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>> jimmy: our next guest is a gifted young actor who has shared a screen with the likes of steve carell, adam sandler, jennifer garner and probably some other people too. but i don't have all night to go through all of them. her new movie is called "the duff," it's in theatres now. please welcome bella thorne. ♪ [cheers and applause] >> jimmy: how are you? >> i'm good. how are you? >> jimmy: you're really dancing. this isn't the "ellen", show. we don't come out dancing. >> i'm sorry, but when the music
kicks on, i can't help my so much. >> jimmy: i was told something that i thought was interesting. you've been here to this show before. i didn't meet you, but it was a long time ago, and you shot something for us when you were 8 years old. >> i played keith richards. and i kept eating meatballs. they told me to stop eating the meatballs. but i love meatballs and spaghetti, and i think they were a little mad. >> jimmy: yeah, because the prop food is not meant to be eaten. sometimes they'll spray things on it to make it look like food, but it is not necessarily good. >> i just thought it was good, man. >> jimmy: we have a clip from that. and you were playing keith richards, keith richards already making a second appearance on the show. you were playing his daughter -- well, let's just show it. >> mom, can i sleep over at
amy's house tonight? >> you know it's a [ laughter ] >> jimmy: very cute. probably one of the reasons we didn't want you to eat the spaghetti is it has cigarettes in it. >> yeah, maybe, maybe. >> jimmy: will you eat like hot and spicy foods of that nature? >> oh, you don't understand. i'm cuban. and once i ate nine p pinots. >> jimmy: you ate nine cups of hal pinot peppers? >> let me just tell you, the bathroom seen after wasn't a good scene. >> jimmy: we don't have to go into that. are you a competitive eater? do you think you could like, could you eat like a whole jug of hot sauce or eat a ball of
wasabi? >> i can eat an onion like an apple. >> jimmy: why would you eat an onion like an apple? do you enjoy it? can i get an onion? [ laughter ] >> is that organic? >> jimmy: this isn't the olympics! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: this is going to turn into a food fight. oh, yeah. they told me that you would bite into this onion like one would an apple? >> mm-hm. i can also eat a whole lemon like the rind and everything. >> jimmy: you're not going to hit me with a lemon, are you? we've got a whole bunch of onions over there. you eat the rind of a lemon? >> yes. >> jimmy: what are you, an orangutan? if you take a bite out of it i
will take a bite out of it. >> okay. [cheers and applause] >> jimmy: that looks terrible. i've never done it like that. it's not good at [cheers and applause] that was a mistake. [cheers and applause] >> you'll be throwing up later. >> jimmy: yeah, no, this was a terrible mistake. here, spit it into the view mug. it's expired now. what do you want me to do? it's an onion, guys. you were on a very popular disney channel show. this is one, these, these disney channel shows, you find that the parents go crazy when they meet you, right? because their kids love the show. >> mm-hm. >> jimmy: and people will
really, like, freak out when they meet you. >> yes, my favorite i would have to say, my favorite actor is kristen bell. and i'm asked out of the first screening, and woody harrelson walks in. everybody's in ball gowns. >> jimmy: woody harrelson's wearing a ball gown? >> no. everybody else is in a ball gown. he shows up in pajamas. so we're hanging out over there, and i know kristen bell's going to be here. christian bell comes walking up and goes oh, woody, whatever, and he turns hi, oh, my god, it's bella thorne from "shake it up." i die. and then -- >> jimmy: we have a photo that resulted that. >> honestly, look how nice and soft his beard looks. talk about how, ooh.
>> jimmy: so much softer than will's. the batman mask keeps the beard nice. really funny that batman had a beard. does woody watch the show also? >> no. woody had no idea who i was whatsoever. and christian was, like, you don't know who this is? "shake it up"! and he probably thought i was mean or something. i had no idea what to say. and he said, you don't understand. this show records over all my motorcycle shows. it literally made my day. it made my year. it made my life. >> jimmy: so, this movie you're in, "the duff", what does that mean? >> it stands for the designated, ugly fat friend. >> jimmy: is this a thing or was it made up for this movie?
>> no, it's actually a famous book by cody cap linger, and i never knew that the duff was a real term, but i guess it is. so i was in the movie, anoriginala and i originally auditioned for the duff. and they asked me if i would consider doing this. >> jimmy: are you worried that people will start using the word duff more? >> it doesn't necessarily mean the designated ugly fat person. >> jimmy: you told me it does. >> i'm your duff. >> jimmy: no. no. >> because there's always going to be someone richer than you, smar smart other than you, more athletic than you. >> jimmy: thank you very much for coming. the movie is called "the duff."
my tin man has a big toe the size of a house. the lion is small like a toy poodle. and has webbed, duck feet. my scarecrow has wooden teeth... and his clothes have tubes on them. and that's dorothy. she looks like me. everyone has a favorite movie. now people with visual disabilities... can find theirs. introducing the first talking guide. from xfinity.
>> dicky: the jimmy kimmel concert series is brought to you by at&t, mobilizing your world. >> jimmy: thanks to bella thorne and will forte and sorry to matt damon. we ran out of time. >> jimmy: nightline is next, but first, his album is out later this spring. here with the song "stuck on a feeling," prince royce. ♪ ♪ i like you talking dirty i like your filthy love you like the way i hold you when we are falling ♪ ♪ in love in love if it's love then i don't want to ♪ ♪ come back up
girl i know you're a handful 'cause you know what you like ♪ ♪ you might be hard to handle but i'm a show you tonight ♪ ♪ tonight what it's like when you're stuck on a feeling ♪ ♪ ya just can't stop once ain't enough better lock this down better box it up ♪ ♪ gotta work me out make it real gotta make it count get stuck on a feeling ♪ ♪ ya just can't stop once ain't enough better lock this down better box it up ♪ ♪ gotta work me out make it real gotta make it count get stuck on a feeling ♪ ♪ ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ♪ ♪ stuck on a feeling ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ♪ ♪ ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ♪ ♪ let's go hide out in private won't you show me your place
a little peace and quiet ♪ ♪ where we can both misbehave misbehave misbehave misbehave it's okay it's okay ♪ ♪ when you're stuck on a feeling ya just can't stop once ain't enough ♪ ♪ better lock this down better box it up gotta work me out make it real ♪ ♪ gotta make it count get stuck on a feeling ya just can't stop once ain't enough ♪ ♪ better lock this down better box it up gotta work me out ♪ ♪ make it real gotta make it count ♪ ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ♪ ♪ stuck on a feeling ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ♪ ♪ ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ♪ ♪
♪ stuck on a feeling ya just can't stop once ain't enough better lock this down ♪ ♪ better box it up gotta work me out make it real gotta make it count ♪ ♪ get stuck on a feeling ya just can't stop once ain't enough better lock this down ♪ ♪ better box it up gotta work me out make it real ♪ ♪ gotta make it count stuck on a feeling ♪ ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ♪ ♪ stuck on a feeling ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ♪ ♪ ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ♪ ♪ ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh stuck on a feeling ♪ [cheers and applause]
this is "nightline." tonight, breaking news in the american sniper trial. the verdict is in for eddie ray routh. found guilty of capital murder after shooting legendary military hero chris kriel and his friend chad littlefield. a nightmare scenario for any driver, but especially for people with a winter drive phobia. tonight one woman hits the roads in the toughest conditions. and behold the glory that is "glory", an original songs that had david oyelowo weeping. even oprah's not immune to a