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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  April 14, 2016 11:35pm-12:38am EDT

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s "jimmy kimmel live." >> dicky: from hollywood it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- chris hemsworth, from "broad city" abbi jacobson & ilana glazer, "this week in unnecessary censorship," and music from anderson paak featuring schoolboy q, with cleto and the cletones -- and now, i've said enough -- here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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>> jimmy: i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thanks for coming. welcome to los angeles. the entertainment capital of the world. you know, we get very caught up in movies and awards shows and all that kind of stuff here in l.a. but i have not seen this city as excited about a single performance as we were last night for a long time. anyone catch kobe's last game? [ cheers and applause ] yeah. the golden state warriors may have set a record for most wins in a soap but kobe bryant pulled one last rabbit out of his hat, 60 points in his farewell game, the most points scored by any player all season long. lakers beat the jazz, a terrible year on the highest possible note. kobe bryant should have retired after every game what is we realized. kobe took 50 shots in the game
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which i believe was all of them. and he did it in front of a sold-out, star-studded crowd. look at this. >> kobe's got the lakers' last chance. bryant for three. got it! >> oh, oh! wow! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: wait a minute, how did matt damon get tickets to the game? he's a boston guy. anyway. this is a town with a lot of stars in it. tom cruise and leonardo dicaprio live here but interest in kobe bryant overshadows everyone. so many stories about kobe on the local news, tributes, retrospectives, all fun to watch.
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my favorite came from kcal who went to newport beach. >> kobe likes to get our special strawberries, we call it kobe style. >> reporter: each of kobe's favorite sweet treats for his wife and two daughters made at wonderland bakery in his hometown newport beach. this superstar and a familiar face from the gym to starbucks in newport coast. his standing order is a skinny vanilla latte. kobe treats his girls to daddy/daughter dates at happy nails. >> kobe, yeah! >> jimmy: he's going to have plenty of time to get his nails done now, i guess. congratulations. that really was crazy. guillermo, did you watch the game? >> guillermo: yeah, what a great game. >> jimmy: in case you're hearing impaired, that's for basketball. you know it's funny to think that kobe bryant is retiring at the same time that bernie
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sanders is running for president. even though there's a big primary in new york tuesday, bernie is headed to the vatican tomorrow to make a speech. going all the way to the vatican to make a 15-minute speech and the pope isn't even going to be there. why he's doing this, even people running his campaign don't know. maybe he wants to get in good with god since they'll probably be meeting soon. [ laughter ] but bernie will be out of the country for a bit. but don't worry, his supporters will still be on facebook yelling at you. cnn this week has been doing town hall events with the republican candidates and their families. so monday they had john kasich, tuesday donald trump, and last night we got to hear about ted cruz's very romantic first date with his wife. >> it was a wonderful dinner. it was a dinner that we talked the whole time. you know, it was -- i got to say, with us it was love at first sight. it really was -- you know, i remember at that dinner i asked her, tell me the history of your family starting with the bird of
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your gra -- birth of your grandparents. >> jimmy: that is the mark of a sex machine, really is. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] tell me about nana and pop-pop. donald trump has new enemies, several former contestants from his show "the apprentice" are speaking out against him including kwame jackson. i'll tell you, when season one runner-up kwame jackson speaks, people stop and listen. the former "apprentice" contestants issued a joint statement saying they don't believe trump is "worthy of becoming president of the united states." trump responded very graciously to his credit, he released a statement calling them six failing wannabes and said they should be careful or i'll play hours of footage of them individually praising me. this is great. his "apprentice" contestants turning on him, like the cast of "survivor" deciding to eat jeff probst. why not jeff probst for president? nice guy. he never asked mexico to pay for
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anything. trump last night was in pittsburgh where he brings up some very unusual topics. >> just so you understand, i went to school in this state, right? we know that right? so i know, i know a lot about pennsylvania and it's great. how's joe paterno? we going to bring that back? how about that whole -- how about that whole deal? >> jimmy: yeah, how about that whole deal? come on, what whole deal? the sandusky deal? or the deal where he died? either one, maybe skip that topic. you know, yesterday trump met with one of his arch nemeses, megyn kelly. they talked for an hour. in the end they agreed to thut aside their differences and get back to what's important, which is getting white people very angry. kelly spoke about trump on her
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show, is it just me or is that the feel of one of the forced hostage videos? >> yours truly took a trip over to trump tower on fifth avenue in new york city. there i had a meeting with donald trump. the meeting was at my request and mr. trump was gracious enough to agree to it. we met for about an hour, just the two of us, and had a chance to clear the air. mr. trump and i discussed the possibility of an interview. and i hope we will have news to announce on that soon. >> jimmy: in any event, it's nice to see them working as a team. this is a sign of the times, i guess. ceo of amc, which is one of the biggest movie theater chains in the world, said they might start letting people text during movies. i guess young people aren't going to the movies because you can't use your phones in there, so they're talking about letting them use their phones in there. pretty soon the only difference between a movie theater and your house will be the soda all over the floor. why? this is like a national forest deciding to allow bottle rockets to be shot off. no texting in theaters was our
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last remaining unspoken rule as a society. it was no texting in theaters and mcdonald's breakfast ends at 11:00 a.m. and now mcdonald's is serving breakfast all day and nothing makes sense anymore. but not only is amc serious about this, they're already starting to roll out, showing a message in the theater before the movie plays already. >> your feature presentation will begin shortly. we would ask you to silence all cell phones and digital devices. but we know you won't listen. so [ bleep ] it, we give up. use your phones. have a loud conversation with your uncle. respond to joann's text about whether or not she should buy those boots. fire up the barbecue. whatever. we're not even going to try to stop you. buy some popcorn. enjoy whatever part of the movie you see. we don't give a [ bleep ]. if you're not going to watch the movie, we'll just tell you the ending. han solo dies. there. now go back to snapchat. amc theaters -- you people are animals. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we have a fun show
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tonight. "the huntsman winter's war" chris hemsworth is here, he plays the huntsman. between chris hemsworth and myself, we have earned one sexiest man alive title, back in 2014. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: also with us from "broad city" abbi jacobson and ilana glacier are here. [ cheers and applause ] ? what that is? hear that? what that is noise? where that is coming from? it's coming from backstage? let's see what's going on here. oh, there's abby and ilana. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, guys? they can't hear me. can you hear me? >> hey, jimmy. nothing. >> jimmy: what do you mean, nothing? >> nothing. >> jimmy: what does that mean? are you drilling a hole in our wall? >> yeah, yeah. you know what, we are. please, let us just -- >> jimmy: why are you drilling a hole in our wall? >> okay, well, if you must know -- chris hemsworth's
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dressing room is on the other side of the wall. [ cheers and applause ] >> you know what, we're doing the peephole so we can peep his penis. >> jimmy: you're not allowed to do that, that's against the rules. >> oh, why not? men are constantly drilling peepholes to see women's penises -- >> jimmy: no. >> i think we're flipping the script. it's called empowerment, jimmy. rise up, dude. >> jimmy: no, it's not, no one can drill people, men or women, it's illegal. >> shut up. >> every person no matter what the gender in your audience, wants to see it. am i right, people? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: wants to see what? >> the penis! >> jimmy: well, i'm afraid to say they're not going to be able to see it. i admire your efforts, though. >> okay, can we -- >> we'll see. thank you, jimmy. >> jimmy: what is going on? >> [ bleep ]!
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>> jimmy: what is happening there? oh, look at that. >> hi, jimmy. [ cheers and applause ] >> hey, jimmy. >> jimmy: hi. >> i'm glad to hear, i've got to say it's disgusting, offensive and sexist. i'm not going to have any part of it, it's gross. >> jimmy: yes, thank you. >> i did snap some photos of my little brother liam in the shower. there you go. take a look at those. >> thank you so much. >> oh, thank you. >> that works, thank you. >> jimmy: okay, all right, good. thanks. all right, you guys enjoy those photographs. we'll come back. we're going to take a break. when we come back, we're going to, we think -- you'd think chris would have heard the drilling on the other side of the wall. we're going out on the street. we'll test people's emoji iq. plus "this week in unnecessary censorship." stick around, we'll be right back! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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>> jimmy: hi, welcome back. chris hemsworth, abbi & ilana from "prod city" on the way. it's coachella weekend. for those not familiar, coachella music festival is a man cat place where you dress like an olsen twin and headlining the festival, for the 17th year in a row, headlining the coachella festival, drugs. actually, guns and roses is the big act this year. [ cheers and applause ] they've not been together a long time. they're scheduled to go on saturday night at 10:30. which means maybe tuesday at around noon.
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so this is interesting. there's a new study done at university of minnesota where they found people often have very different interpretations of what emojis mean. the study found 25% of the time people did not agree whether an emoji was positive, neutral or negative. in other words, the universal language they call emoji isn't really universal. i have to say it surprised me at first. then we conducted our own experiment. we went on the street, showed people the eggplant emoji, the peach emoji, and a couple of other emojis to see what each one of those meant to each person. here are our admittedly unscientific results. >> what do these emojis mean to you? >> penis. ass. taco. or -- vagina. sex. >> what does this emoji mean to you?
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>> [ bleep ]. ass. taco tuesday. >> or? >> vagina. finger [ bleep ]ing. >> whoa. i think you mean finger love-making? >> that means -- my wiener. >> penis emoji. >> usually it indicates a penis. >> it's a shaft used for pleasure. >> means eggplant. >> or? >> or a squash. >> or? >> or a -- it's not a pepper, i know that. >> purple pepper? it's an eggplant. >> or? >> i can't say it. my kids will be watching. an eggplant, a purple eggplant.
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with a green top. that i would like to eat. >> oh my goodness. >> it looks like a [ bleep ]. >> a vagine. >> male parts. >> a tomato? apple? >> or? >> a butt? >> could be innocent fruit. it also tends to be ass cheeks. >> booty. >> female butt. >> could be a peach or -- the rear-end. >> that makes me hungry, i love tacos. who doesn't? >> oh. well, all right. to each his own. >> taco. but i also know it's not a taco. >> go right and then go through something. >> what can it be? >> anything you want. >> oh, all right. >> pull my finger. >> no, thank you. >> oh, that look like -- like the penis going in the hole. >> a hand?
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oh -- we're having sex? >> sex. >> sex. >> sex. >> one hand pointing at the other. >> meaning? >> [ bleep ]. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: one more thing before we forge ahead. it's thursday night. that means it's time to bleep and blur the big tv moments of the the week whether they need it or not. it is "this week in unnecessary censorship." >> try to stay in the present as much as i could. because i didn't want to come out here and completely [ bleep ] it up. which i did like the first five minutes. >> you kind of did. >> no disrespect to kobe, i think everybody understands how great he was. let's be honest, kobe is a guy that [ bleep ]ed a lot. there's not a lot of that want to watch kobe [ bleep ]. >> he [ bleep ] me, [ bleep ] my husband, they're close. >> what you're looking forward to most when you leave office? >> being able to take [ bleep ] outside. >> i won't feel like a true pop culture icon until i [ bleep ]
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the kardashians. >> would you save us? >> oh, man, i wouldn't want you [ bleep ]ing my [ bleep ] that's for sure. >> we can [ bleep ] so much you may get tired of [ bleep ]ing and you'll say please, please, it's too much [ bleep ]ing, we can't take it anymore. mr. president, it's too much and i'll say, no, it isn't, we have to keep [ bleep ]ing, we have to [ bleep ] more, we're going to [ bleep ] more! >> what exactly is [ bleep ]? >> the chicken's going to [ bleep ] in your mouth. >> huh? hot [ bleep ] are you? ♪ happy and then he [ bleep ]ed me ♪ ♪ i felt a sudden tingle when he [ bleep ]ed me ♪ [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: tonight on the show, music from anderson paak, schoolboy q from "broad city" abbi & ilana. stick around for chris hemsworth!
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" brought to you by hind barbecue sauce. buy great original flavors made with the fastest. ♪ ♪ ♪ lease a 2016 lincoln mkx for $399 a month only at your lincoln dealer. the exact moment you know you love a home, you should be able to get approved to buy it.
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>> jimmy: hello, there. welcome. tonight from "broad te" on
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comedy central, abbi jacobson and ilana glazer are here. their album is called "malibu." anderson paak featuring schoolboy q from the samsung stage. next week we have many wonderful guests accepted my e-vite including emily blunt, geena davis, jessica chastain, key and peele, and some of the gang from "silicon valley" and "game of thrones" and we will have music from shinedown, shawn hook, of monsters and men, and m83. so please join us for all that. make no mistake, our first guest is the mighty god of thunder but he's traded his hammer for an axe as the title character in the new movie "the huntsman: winter's war." ♪
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>> see that? >> jimmy: the huntsman: winter's war" opens in theaters a week from tomorrow. please welcome chris hemsworth! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: a little bird told me you and guillermo did a couple shots together in the green room. >> we did, we were waiting for you back there. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. i have to be able to talk. >> just have subtitles. >>. >> jimmy: how are you doing? >> the third week of the press tour. >> jimmy: where have you been on the press tour? all over the world? >> i was in australia. went to germany, london, singapore, beijing, hong kong, now here in los angeles.
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>> jimmy: that's quite a tour. that's unbelievable. >> quite a tour. >> jimmy: is this the end of it? >> this is my last -- this is it. my last chat. >> jimmy: people know you in places like beijing? are you recognized instantly? >> yeah, beijing and then singapore. it's a bit of a -- it's funny. we go to singapore and it kind of gives the false illusion you're a lot more famous than you are. just because you're tall. >> jimmy: i see. yeah. >> and blond. and not singaporean. >> jimmy: you don't blend? >> the hat and the whole thing didn't really matter. i came out of there thinking, fwsing to be huge, the biggest film in the world! >> jimmy: when you travel so much for work like you do, do you only want to stay home when you have vacation? or do you like to travel for vacation as well? >> no -- look, i mean, we kind of -- the house where we live in australia became our -- somewhere that feels like a vacation. we were away so much we sort of chose that spot because it is on the beach and it's beautiful. >> jimmy: right, yeah. >> we still do trips here and there. we did a trip recently to the
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himalayas. >> jimmy: that's not a little trip. >> no, it's a big trip, yeah. >> jimmy: you took the kids on that trip? >> no, no, just my wife and i. >> jimmy: okay, yeah. your wife is elsa pataki. >> she was doing a travel show for a spanish travel tv program. >> jimmy: oh, really. >> obviously a plus one. >> jimmy: nice. >> kind of along for the ride. >> jimmy: how high up did you go? way up to the top? >> yeah, so we got higher and higher. we ended up at about 4,000 meters above sea level. which you acclimate every couple of days. you plant yourself in one place, your body adjusts to that lack of oxygen and so on. then you go higher and higher. have you ever heard of altitude depression? >> jimmy: i've heard -- is it like altitude sickness? >> yeah, which is -- i got that. >> jimmy: you did. >> and basically we went to 2,000 meters then 3,000. and i slowly started to lose my mind. and my wife -- >> jimmy: what does mean?
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what happened? >> completely irrational. overly sensitive to the most trivial silly things. >> really? >> and elsa's like, what's wrong with you? i'm like, this is ridiculous, what are we doing here, why am i here? we got to 4,000 meters one night. we camped. and it's minus 30 where we're camping, sleeping in rock huts with no windows and so on. and just to give you an idea, a bottle of water outside of your sleeping back, it's frozen by the time you wake up. it has to be tucked in with you. it's freezing. there's dogs everywhere, near the camp where we were saying and the local guides were like, don't give the dogs anything, they have laborbies. >> what a great trip. >> that's what i said. this is supposed to be a fun bonding experience. the toilet is a tent which is 100 feet away, 100 meters, whatever, in the distance, in the dark, in the snow. there's like all i can see when i get the torch out is like sets
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of eyes barking at me. i've got the shovel trying to work my way through the darkness. this goes on. go to the toilet, come back, i'm in my bed, tossing and turning. what's wrong with you? i'm like, i'm fine! my breathing is getting worse. i start to like -- arrgh, darth vader meets daffy duck. she's like, something's wrong with your breathing. i'm fine, leave me alone, this is ridiculous, the dogs are barking, we shouldn't be here! she ignores me, runs and tells the guards. they took one look at me, get him off the mountain. they start injecting me with all sorts of whatever's going to adjust my oxygen intake and so on, oxygen mask on, and fly down the mountain for eight hours in four-wheel drives. apparently the oxygen in my lungs the next stage was oxygen in my brain. then good night. we wouldn't be sitting here. >> jimmy: you need a new travel agent is what you need. [ laughter ] >> that's what i said. who was monitoring that?
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>> jimmy: i don't know. are you the only one that got sick? >> yeah, everyone else acclimated as it's called. for some reason -- i couldn't handle it. >> jimmy: maybe because you're so handsome, you know? [ cheers and applause ] it's like you're not meant to be up in the mountains away from others. you're meant to be down amongst the people, bringing joy to theirize. their eyes. that's crazy. >> i'll tell my wife, sgligs that's something else. do you speak spanish? >> no, it's terrible. my span irk -- we've been together like six or seven years and it's gotten progressively worse. >> jimmy: it's getting worse, really? >> yeah, in the spanish press tour and so on, they're like, you must speak spanish now. i'm like, i don't. they're like, can you say da da da? and i'm like, no. >> jimmy: i love that spanish sounds like with an australian accent mixed into the spanish. >> it's a blur to me.
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and this would go on the whole press tour. jessica chastain would be like, no, he doesn't speak spanish, it's embarrassing. >> >> jimmy: they believed her. this movie and a prequel and a sequel all in one? >> a wrap-around as someone described it. not to be mistaken for a reach-around. [ laughter ] that's a whole different type of film. >> jimmy: that's not available? >> not that, no. not that. >> jimmy: the huntsman -- no reach-around from the huntsman? >> maybe the follow-up, we'll see. >> jimmy: movie number three. it is a franchise. you've got to keep doing new things. well, i'm glad you're alive. this is a terrible story. don't go on any more of these trips. >> no, i'm done. >> jimmy: you know what's nice? hawaii. >> or australia. >> jimmy: all-star's dangerous too, everything's dangerous in australia. >> most things you look at will eat you. >> jimmy: yes, exactly. your days are numbered, really, is what i'm trying to say. >> i'll go back and this will be
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my final appearance. >> jimmy: we'll have a quick reach-around. >> yeah, sure. >> jimmy: very good to see you, "the huntsman: winter's war" opens in theaters a week from tomorrow. please welcome chris hemsworth. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ only those who dare drive the world forward. introducing the first-ever cadillac ct6. who know it wasn't a day at the beach...rough it. unless someone got buried. to the fullbacks... gearheads... and those with green thumbs.
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this ii got to see my dad, die on national tv. they don't know what they took from us. people are dying. we need a president that's going to talk about it. i believe bernie sanders is a protestor. he's not scared to go up against the criminal justice system. he's not scared. that's why i'm for bernie. i'm bernie sanders and i approve this message.
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>> jimmy: barbecue season is here and it's time to fire it up with texas pit master robert sierra who has partnered with heinz on one of their new barbecue sauces which bring you the real flavors of some of america's best barbecue regions. a lot of people don't realize there are barbecue regions in the united states. >> yes, there's a lot of regions. we got like memphis, carolina, kansas, texas of course. >> jimmy: what is texas barbecue like? >> texas is more spicy, ketchup-based, then cumin and chili powder. >> jimmy: you stick to that, in texas that's the way you go? >> you try to. you want to have little heat. >> jimmy: if you had to pick a sauce besides texas style, which one do you prefer? look who's eating already by the way. >> they're all good. i like to use memphis and the classic when i'm not using texas. >> jimmy: very good. let's see what you've got here. pork ribs.
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>> some baby back ribs. >> nice, can i have a little? i guess i have some here. would you mind feeding me like a baby? >> sure. >> jimmy: feed me like a baby, mm, mm. i need a little more. >> guillermo: they taste delicious. >> i need some too. >> jimmy: you eat some too, we'll all eat, we are here, why not? mm, this is delicious. you get all five barbecue sauces, whatever style you like, get them all, have a party what the hell, live a little for god's sake. this is delicious. thank you very much for being here. we'll be right back with abbi jacobson and ilana glazer! >> dicky: new heinz barbecue sauces. five great-tasting sauces made with the masters. ♪
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narendorsed katie mcgintyent obama afor us senate? nt biden because she's a "champion for working families." katie mcginty will take on the republicans and protect social security and medicare. and mcginty will work for equal pay for women - because families depend on it. for the april 26th democratic primary, president obama supports katie mcginty. katie: i'm katie mcginty and i approve this message, because it's your turn to get ahead. >> jimmy: hi, there, we're back. our next guests started with a low budget web series seven years ago which they watered and it blossomed into a big hit television show called "broad city." it airs wednesdays at 10:00 on comedy central. please welcome abbi jacobson and ilana glazer!
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: good to see you. i was wondering what you'd be wearing. last time you both more tuxedos which was nice. >> this is a great bit too, right? >> jimmy: it was classier. >> great fun. >> killing it right now. >> ha ha! >> jimmy: you know it's funny when you do a talk show. i think that was your first talk show, that show. >> those tuxes were a shield. >> yes. we were like so -- >> top hats. >> that was ridiculous. >> that was so fun, though. we were so glad you were so down. >> jimmy: i was glad to have you. i'm a big fan of the show. the show is a crazy show. it's not a show for everyone. but for people like me, for instance, it is definitely not a show for everyone. but this is a show -- how would you describe it? can you describe it in a nutshell? or is that impossible to do? >> nutshell. >> i'm like, two knuckleheads
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running around new york high. >> jimmy: high, yes. >> high. high. >> jimmy: and a slight exaggeration of your -- i think you said it was a 15% exaggeration, the characters that you play, which are also named after you. >> weirdly. >> jimmy: what parts are most exaggerated? >> i think it's the differences between us that we amplify. >> jimmy: really? so you're more alike than you are on the show? >> yes, yes. also it's like our slutty parts and our high parts. our weed smoking. >> jimmy: i see. >> are blown -- >> how much are they, even? >> i think i'm much more insecure on the show, i hope so, and i make more insecure noises. like -- i stammer all the time. >> jimmy: that is something -- >> really amplified. >> jimmy: that's something that you draw from in your past? or it's just totally made up,
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not a real part of you? >> i think it's something i feel. i think everyone feels that way. i get to kind of play it more on the show. >> jimmy: there's one episode of the show which i honestly believe this. i said this to her off camera. but kelly ripa was on your show, which was a weird thing. and i really think that if anyone at abc ever sees that, she will be fired from her show. >> you don't think anyone from abc's seen that? >> i went on and talked about it. >> jimmy: i don't believe that even then only the people there in the room saw it. it's impossible. it's so -- it's hysterically funny. >> she hasn't seen it. she insists on not watching it. >> she's like, i can't. >> everyone loves that episode. it's amazing. >> jimmy: it is so shocking and crazy. >> but just like our percentage, you're like -- that's not from nowhere. >> jimmy: you have to wonder. >> that's not from nowhere. it's too inspired. >> jimmy: was that a cough, k w knowing cough? >> sorry.
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>> knowing. >> it's a disease. >> jimmy: a disease cough, good. >> it comes at opportune moments. >> jimmy: i see. i gotcha. all right. you did one scene in a whole foods store. and i know -- i heard the story is that you were not being permitted to shoot in the whole foods store? >> that's right. >> jimmy: it's a big corporate store. >> yes. >> jimmy: you pestered them? >> yeah, we took to twitter. >> not that pestery norther y nt the whole episode would have been like -- it just wasn't going to be funny if it was whole foods. >> you can't fake a whole foods. >> everybody is like, aah! >> the episode is like this -- i kind of ruin part of a whole foods. it had to be that. >> and in that area of brooklyn it's like, there's a whole foods in gawanis? it's over this stinky canal. then it's like whole foods. >> jimmy: a small owe i was sister. >> also, big mistake, that's my whole foods.
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>> jimmy: that's the one you actually -- >> if i were to go to a whole foods, that's the one. people are like, hi, abby! >> jimmy: you kept tweeting at them until eventually they relented and let you shoot in there. when they did did they read the script? did they know you'd be hallucinating and wandering high through the store? >> they didn't care about that, they cared about us truly naming the price of their honey, the true price. >> we negotiated what we could talk about. >> that's your price. we're not making that up. >> menuca lasts for -- >> how many groceries would have added up to that total? that's what we talked about. they're like, we're accessible. we're like, no, you're amazing. but we love whole foods. >> jimmy: well, yeah, clearly. >> please. they're like going to ban us. >> i love it. >> jimmy: i doubt it. you live this in new york. in new york they do a weird thing with medical marijuana is legal in new york but you have to -- weird thing, you have to
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have an actual medical reason to get it there. >> yeah. >> jimmy: whereas here in los angeles -- >> everybody's got migraines. >> jimmy: yeah, you can have split ends and you'll get it -- may i ask, where to you get all this pot you seem to be smoking all the time? >> the pot on the show is fake. >> jimmy: i know. >> it's harsh and horrible. >> jimmy: i'm not talking about the show. >> real life? >> i get my pot -- >> from elana. >> you get it from elana. >> i get it from a smul businessman, a restaurateur. >> jimmy: really? >> it's like a whole market. he's so successful. he's got garbage bags of weed. >> jimmy: really? so successful. i'm sure he's delighted that we're talking about this. >> yeah. he's like, [ bleep ]. [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: do you have -- i know it's comedy central and they allow a lot of the things. do you ever have problems with censors or standards and practices people? >> we do. but we do get support.
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from our executives. >> it's been awhile. like in the premiere of season two, ilana is really looking at herself in the mirror. really checking herself out. tweezing and checking -- >> vagina. >> yes, thank you. we're on network tv. i'm standard and practicing myself. >> jimmy: you are, you're censoring. let loose. >> so the pixels, they wanted them to be like ilana's skin tone. >> and we were like -- they've got to be -- >> i've got a beige vagina? i'm an adult, i have hair. hello? >> do i have to look like an adult, blur. blur it out. >> we fought for that. and they fought. >> standards and practices were like, you're right, we will get sued, let's do this! they were so down. but they felt it was reason enough. we were like, these are people with pubic hair. >> in a way you're not just doing a show, you're fighting for civil rights and i applaud that. [ cheers and applause ]
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>> that's right. >> jimmy: you're like a couple of martin luther kings. >> that's what we say in private. >> jimmy: this show is very funny and i'm happy that you're here. please watch it. "broad city" season 3 finale airs wednesday at 10 on comedy central. and when we return music from anderson paak featuring schoolboy q. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by samsung. modres: the cost of living the pay stays the same. i have to work extra hours just to make ends meet. it's a big struggle. one person that really gets this is katie mcginty. she came from a working-class family. she was ninth of 10 kids. she gets it.
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she'll fight for equal pay for equal work. katie mcginty will protect social security and medicare. that's why president obama and vice president biden support her, too. she'll make a heck of a senator. dscc is responsible for the content of this advertising. like steve santarsiero, harrisburg politicians who will say or do anything to advance his career? he claims he wrote pennsylvania's gun safety law. but the truth is he didn't. there is no law requiring universal background checks for all gun purchases. his campaign even bragged that he passed 54 bills.
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in fact, 7 years in harrisburg, steve santarsiero has never passed a single bill into law. i'm shaughnessy naughton. i approve this message because i am not a career politician. >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by samsung. >> jimmy: i'd like to thank chris hemsworth, abbi jacobson, ilana glazer and apologize to matt damon we ran out of time. "nightline" is next but first his album is called "malibu." here with the song "am i wrong" with some help from schoolboy q anderson paak and the free nationals! ♪
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♪ i'm only comin' out to play nothin' more that i hate in this life the wrong impression ♪ ♪ i only have one to make you can open your palm waiting to catch a ♪ ♪ break the cards will fall where they may ♪ ♪ and what about me i believe in fate they wanna know where ♪ ♪ i'll be in five what about today what about tonight ♪ ♪ only one at a time so precious is yours is mine ♪ ♪ only one at a time my life my life yeah ♪ ♪ am i wrong to assume if she can't dance then she can't ooh yeah ♪
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♪ am i wrong to say if she can't dance then she can't ooh ♪ ♪ hey i never wanna waste your time my life so precious is yours is mine ♪ ♪ and look at the time my god so precious is yours is mine ♪ ♪ of my life make some noise ♪ ♪ my life my life smiles around the clock dance around the globe to disco 54 ♪ ♪ i stare at you in the eyes and spin you on your toes music ain't music ♪ ♪ without soul feelin' the top row shut the blindfolds pass the nitro rock the love boat ♪ ♪ get high or get low chill the merlot steady your fast pour ♪ ♪ you pick up we go low make love once or more we rest then encore do that-that-that ♪ ♪ break you off in your kit-kat-kat never seen a one
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this gorgeous pay ♪ ♪ your whole damn mortgage will you look at the time hey still you the one on the mind hey ♪ ♪ still you the top of the rhyme hey thank god that it's friday tonight let's be the ♪ ♪ life of the party it's nothing to me get up and move your feet ♪ ♪ i never wanna waste your time my life so precious is yours is mine ♪ ♪ and look at the time my god ♪ y'all can dance a little if you want, you ready? ♪ ♪ so precious is yours is mine ♪ ♪ my life my life your life your life my life my life your life your life ♪ ♪ your life your life your life mama ♪
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♪ i love you ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
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this is "nightline." >> tonight, trump splitting more than the republican party. >> trump ended their relationship. >> now he's splitting up romances too. couples with trump getting between them. driving some women to declare, vote trump, get dumped. and an ultimatum in the bedroom too. will boy cotting sex stop men from backing trump? plus beauty queens busted. a former mrs. america and popular tv host accused of trying to swindle macy's. now joins the ranks of beauty queens making headlines for all the wrong reasons. and planning a star-studded met gala. a documentary pulling back the curtains, spilling secrets, as "vogue" editor anna wintor decides who's in and who's out. first the

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