tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC September 7, 2016 11:35pm-12:37am EDT
remember the iphone you bought last year? it was the coolest thing you ever put on your face? well, as of 12:00 this afternoon, your phone sucks now. apple introduced the new iphone. tich phone 7 today. i have to say i should have seen this coming. after the iphone 6, of course they would come out with an iphone 7. apple ceo said it was the west iphone we've ever made. i hope so. if it isn't, why even put one out? the coolest part of the new iphone, it actually rolls its eyes whenever someone passes by with the old one. if you missed it, here's part of the big announcement from san francisco. >> i would like to invite my colleague phil up to the stage. phil? [ applause ] >> hi. how are you? this is the new iphone. it has no head phone jack and you can drop it in the toilet.
and that's kind of it. okay. bye. >> jimmy: short and sweet. i don't know if this water resistant things a good idea for apple. they do realize half the reason people even get new felonies to is because they dropped the old one in the toilet. if they ever make them shatter proof, it will plummet. the big change is that apple is removing the head phone jack. if that happens they'll remove one feature every nine months until they're selling the little round button at the bottom. only apple would make an announcement about taking a feature away. they have wireless head phones called pods. i always want to pay $160 for something that will he immediately get lost in my backpack. they announced a new color. jet black. now you have a choice between
black and jet black. jets aren't even black anymore, by the way. they're clearly just screwing with us now. speaking of screwing with us, you know donald trump has been saying he has a plan to defeat isis? it will definitely work but he can't tell us what it is because he doesn't want the enemy to know? yesterday he revealed the plan. >> so i will convene my top generals and give them a simple instruction. they will have 30 days to submit to the oval office a plan for soundly and quickly defeating isis. >> jimmy: so the plan is to tell the generals to come up with a plan? why didn't anyone think of that years ago? 30 days. is this a plan to beat isis or a sandra bullock movie? 30 days, he is running for president like he's running a domino's pizza franchise. on top of that it is odd that he would ask the generals for a
plan given this. >> i know more about isis than the generals do, believe me. >> jimmy: we believe you. 30 days is plenty of time on. celebrity apresent it is, they would have to get it done in a week. so trump was on fox news last night where he inadvertently treated us and bill o'reilly to our unintentional joke of the day. >> hillary, just so you know, bill, hillary has no package. >> jimmy: true when you think about it. he notices the little things. that's what makes him so special. they were both in new york for what was billed as the first ever commander in chief forum. i never thought this would happen to me. you don't remember that? no porn fans from the '80s? anyway, from time to time we like to slow donald trump down a bit to half speed to savor his words. he really does have the best
words. when you dial them back to half speed, you get a brand new edition of drunk donald trump. >> why would anybody that is getting rid of e-mails that had to do with the wedding and also wasn't it remember, right? yoga. yoga. yoga and the wedding. >> jimmy: yoga and the wedding. [ applause ] yoga and the wedding. wasn't kate hudson in that one? another reality show news. we're less than a week away from a new season of "dancing with the stars" season 38, starts monday night. the cast was up bright and early to strut their star studded
night. if this doesn't get the mirror rolling for you, i don't know what will. ♪ >> jimmy: well, i know who i'm voting for. it will be maybe the best season ever. stay tuned. now, it's time for something educational. we teamed one snoop dogg for what they call a high could nnc idea. someone who is high watches a product being made and he has to figure out what the product is. guillermo, you understand what i'm saying, right? >> yeah, jim. >> jimmy: explain it back to me. >> we'll have snoop dogg watch a video of how things are made. >> jimmy: yeah. that's exactly right. and feel free to guess along at
home. this is snoop dogg. >> big snoop dogg rolling with the most. shaving and shedding some wood. yeah. sculpture. nice, nice. that's ivory. cut up some ivory. i'm going to guess they're making chess pieces. i may be jumping the gun. i get it. it is a baby paddle for a baby boat. what is it? it is something. wait a minute. it looks like the blunt tip. see that? what is this? okay, okay. is it a bong? is it a vape? five or six people can hit it at one time. what is this? oh! they're making a bag pipe.
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crime needs to be prosecuted -- and put behind bars. narrator: katie mcginty will keep us safe -- more police on the streets, better training and equipment, and take on the gun lobby for gun safety laws. katie: i'm the daughter of a police officer, and the mother of three. i'll stand with law enforcement to fight crime, and protect our families. i'm katie mcginty, and i approve this message. >> jimmy: hello. welcome back tonight on the show, music from bastille. pamela adlon is here, and we'll
they try on pass halloween costume off. it is exciting. you get the first look at what nobody will be wearing this spring. doesn't everybody just wear yoga pants? any way, kanye west unveiled his fashion show. i watched this in its entirety. they streamed it on the web. basically it was a large group women walking around dramatically if what looked like giant ace bandages. other than that, it went off without a hitch. it's fine. kanye isn't much of a shoe guy any way. of course, no fashion show would be complete without a walk down the runway without kanye
himself. here's kanye. i don't know what this music was. it sounded like "close encounters of the third kind." so kanye inspects his troops. then he sees something and he runs off and then he is just gone. never to be seen again. i mean, for real. like a dog spotting a frisbee. he just ran off into the park. where have i seen something like this before? >> how did it go, great, you said you learned a lot of things. what do you think he took away from today? >> 90 luggage. hold on. >> it looks like dr. carson will try to final his luggage. >> jimmy: it is all coming together. it is all one story now. today is fashion week. now that labor day is behind us, i want to address something that i feel very strongly about. summer is over. summer has come to an end. hopefully that means an end to
something that literally shakes me to my core. grown men wearing shoes that force to you see their feet. flip-flops, sandals, crocs. let me look around. women, it's okay. but men, there's only one man's feet i'm okay with seeing in sandals. and his name is jesus. if you're anybody else, get a pair of skechers. tonight we're going to debirkenstock the neighborhood. using force if we have to. my cousin sal is outside. hi. >> hi. >> jimmy: you're anti-sandal, right? >> hate them. >> jimmy: never seen you in a pair of sandals. >> never will. >> jimmy: in fact i don't think i've seen your sandals for years and years and years. he intentionally grew his toe nails long so he could scratch you with them. true or false? >> i'll say true. >> jimmy: so we want to you find
some guys with offensive foot wear. oh, yeah. we'll though it in that burning tub. bad, bad, bad. you have someone? oh, yes. stop him. most certainly. be very careful with this, sal. >> what is your name? >> meat. >> what is your name? >> meat. mick. >> where are you from? >> from brisbane australia. >> are you on vacation right now? >> yes. >> jimmy: it's winter in australia, right? >> we're on the spring break now. >> jimmy: so now you've overcompensated foot wear wise, correct? >> that's right. i -- it's getting hot. >> jimmy: what are you wearing there? what would you call those? >> we call them thongs.
>> jimmy: yeah, yeah. we call them that, too. what do you call those ten nubby things attached to your foot? are those toes or -- yeah, yeah. wow. i like to think of people just waking up right now. >> i'm hoping he belongs to a very understanding motorcycle gang. >> jimmy: what do you do for a living, mick? >> i'm a security officer. >> jimmy: oh, okay. that will be great. would you do me a favor? take those thongs off and hand them to my cousin sal for just a second. just like one second. just hand them to him for one second so we can get a great look at them. it is so hard to see them down there on the floor like that. >> do i trust him? >> jimmy: oh, yeah. don't worry. you can trust him. >> this is great fun for me. >> jimmy: how long have you had those things? >> don't run away with them of
that's all i have. >> jimmy: don't worry. he's not going on run away with them. he may run but it will not be with him. we would like to have the other one if we could, too. >> i think one is enough. >> jimmy: i'm very ocd. okay. one is fine then. now what we're going to do is clean them for you. so i'll give these good purifying. >> yeah. >> look at that. so mick -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: mick, it is an american thing. we do -- >> just a joke. >> jimmy: we do it for all our favorite visitors. >> is that right? >> jimmy: it means we like you. >> is that what you do with australian people? >> jimmy: i'm so glad i'm inside right now.
yeah. mick, cousin sal has something for you. give them thing. where is the thing? we have a gift certificate for you to the dsw shoe store down the street. go to the store. >> thank you! >> jimmy: buy yourself something decent, okay? yeah. it is just around the corner. what happened to the gift certificate? try not to get somebody so big this time. >> jimmy: what do we have here? okay. no, no, no. keep looking around. oh, yes. yes, indeed. yes, those are unacceptable in any season. who do we have? go ahead. >> jimmy: oh, my goodness. >> hello, sir. >> hello? >> jimmy: what's your name and where are you from?
>> i'm not telling you. i'm just down here to see spiderman. >> jimmy: oh, you are. well, there's a lot of them out there. you can take your pick. dr. phil, would you mind throwing those crocs into the fire? >> how will i get home sf. >> jimmy: walk around like the people that to go your show. okay. you can come inside now and we'll give you a nice pair of loafers to wear. >> really? i'm invited in? yeah. and watch out for the guy named mick. >> jimmy: dr. phil is here. he will be with us in a moment. bastille. we have pamela adlon. please join us.
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>> you. >> jimmy: what about how handsome i am? >> jimmy: hi there. welcome back. her new show premiers tomorrow night call better thing. pamela adlon is here with us. and then it is called wild world. bastille from the samsung outdoor stage. tomorrow night tom hanks will be here and we'll have music from kaleo. and friday we have a new show with eddie murphy, from "stranger things" gaten matarazzo and music from schoolboy q. if you like your doctors big, bold, bald and baritone, our first guest is your guy. he is host of the most-watched talk show on television season 15 of "dr. phil" premieres on monday, please say hello to dr. phil mcgraw.
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: good to see you. i was thinking about you today. >> i'll bet you were. >> jimmy: i was thinking about, you have the summers off. you're off, right? >> well, i'm not taping. i'm not doing shows. i'm not sitting around drinking a mint julep. >> jimmy: i would think it is a real bummer to go back to work. you have all these weird, crazy people to talk to on your show. >> i don't refer to them that way. >> jimmy: you don't? >> i refer to them as people needing help in their lives. >> jimmy: it's weird. we think of our guests as weird and crazy people. >> jimmy: i would say that's how you talk to these people. god only knows what you say
about me when i'm gone. >> jimmy: i save it all. >> never waste an ensubtle behind my back. >> jimmy: did you have fun? >> i did. we went to europe for a couple weeks and hung out. the whole family. well, not the whole family. jordan my son didn't go. he's in a band and they're on tour. but jay went and erica, his wife, our two fwranld kids and robin. >> jimmy: do you wish your son wasn't in a band? >> oh no. if it's winter and they're in a bus. >> jimmy: it didn't seem like you're the kind of guy who would mike sort. you're a no nonsense type. >> why do you say that? >> jimmy: these are my perceptions of you. >> well, change it. i like it. >> jimmy: i think we're making a lot of progress. when you're in europe, do people besides americans recognize you?
>> we're on in 57 foreign countries so yeah. >> jimmy: 57? >> yeah. >> jimmy: so people will be watching in bangladesh and they'll see you like the can balance killer or the woman who blinded herself with draino so she could fulfill her life with being blind and then they think this is what americans are like? >> yeah. >> jimmy: what's the opposite of an ambassador. i think that's what you are. >> why do i keep coming back? why do i subject myself to this [ bleep ]? >> jimmy: i'm just here to help. >> i can tell you're here to help. the problem is when they translate. sometimes i speak, when they try to translate it, it doesn't always translate well. >> jimmy: it doesn't always make sense in english a lot of times.
>> see, i'm lobbing you soft balls. you say that dog won't hunt in countries where they eat the dogs. it's hard. >> jimmy: there are those countries. >> yes, there are. >> jimmy: have you ever eaten a dog yourself? >> not that i know of. >> jimmy: there's a television though on cbs that is based on you as a young man, yes? >> yes. not a young man. but it was based on my life before the dr. phil show. >> jimmy: before the dr. phil show. >> i was a litigation consultant. and we kind of broke that whole industry open. and it is called bull. and it starts on september 20 on another network. >> jimmy: i said it was cbs. >> shhh. this is a guy who plays you. did you intentionally play guy with big beautiful hair? >> no. we looked for somebody in my image. we put glasses on him so you
could tell us apart. >> jimmy: i see. were you involved in of the todaying him? >> of course. >> jimmy: how did stephen spielberg get involved as executive producer? does he know he's executive producer of the show? >> yes, he does. >> jimmy: he does. >> i'm executive producer i know what stephen spielberg and my son jay and justin and darrell frank. and we just got together and put this show together. and it is about, there's never been a show on television. it deals with what really drives verdicts in america. it is not what people think it is. >> jimmy: what is it? >> we're pulling the curtain back and showing what drives verdicts. you go in there. the hair has a 3 x 5 cards. it has your address and date of birth on it. but we know a whole lot more about jurors than what's on that card. >> jimmy: so if someone is
wealthy enough to afford a service like you provided, they can really cherry pick jurors. >> we did a lot of pro bono cases as well. court appointed cases. if we had 300 people in the jury pool, we knew more about them. >> jimmy: how did you find out? >> we had pictures of their houses and their cars. we knew who they were dating. >> jimmy: really? >> we knew stuff -- >> jimmy: is that legal? >> i don't know. [ applause ] >> jimmy: that's a lot of work though. >> yes, it is. it is a lot of work. look. we taught people to tell the truth effectively to the people needed to hear it. >> jimmy: i see. you really wanted to make sure that jury was indeed of their peers. >> you don't want people there that have already made their mind up. you want people open minded and willing to hear a story well
told. >> jimmy: did you ever feel like you got people who were guilty off? >> of course not. >> jimmy: is that why the show called bull? >> no. >> jimmy: all your clients were innocent? >> of course. >> jimmy: wow! >> the jury said they were. move the billboard for your show, bull, why is it called bull? >> we just picked a name. >> jimmy: put that up on the thing. i see this all around town. now, this catch phrase that you're using. is that based on a real life event? did stephen spielberg approve this catch phrase? >> pretty clever, don't you think? >> jimmy: i think clever, sure. >> this is fictional, right? he breaks a few laws before the
first commercial break that i didn't break. >> jimmy: i see. you've never broken in any laws in that capacity? >> i'm not answering that question. >> jimmy: the real dr. phil colonels back monday with a new season. what horrible thing do you have up your sleeve? >> we do a lot of good things. >> jimmy: do you? you should put some of those on tv. because i -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i see a lot of runaways. >> seriously. i need to make a note. i need on quit coming over here. no more jimmy kimmel. >> jimmy: all right. i'll just keep that over here. look how handsome you are. come on. >> people will be surprised but this is the 20th anniversary of the murder of jon benet ramsey.
it is the biggest unsolved murder of our time. >> jimmy: true or false, her family were all unfairly accused of that murder. >> jimmy: it's never been solved. in that 20 years, the one person known to be in the house the night of the murder is her brother burk. >> jimmy: he didn't do it either. >> in 20 years, burke has never spoken publicly. and there were three interrogations tapes. one of them that was not legally gotten and two that were legally gotten, were done about that time. and then they mysteriously disappeared for 20 years. so he is the missing link in this mystery. and after 20 years, on monday, i am going to sit down and interview the brother, burke ramsey, about what happened in that house that night and i have recovered the three missing interrogation tapes.
>> jimmy: you recovered them yourself? >> so i'm going to have burke ramsey and the interrogation tames. >> jimmy: unbelievable. i don't know where this comes. from every year it is a new thing. >> yes, it is. >> jimmy: congratulations. >> i'm sure you'll be watching. >> jimmy: dr. phil, everybody. the new season come back september 12. we'll be right back. ♪ and they're off!
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>> jimmy: welcome back to the show. still to come, bastille. you know our next guest from the great show "louie." now she has her own great show on fx called "better things". it premieres tomorrow night at ten o'clock. please welcome pamela adlon. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: very good to see you and congratulations on the show. you're great in it. the writing is great. all the other actors are great. it really came together nicely. do you feel like you set out whatever you were wanting to do, you did it? >> yeah. at first i was like, what kind of story i am a going to tell? do i work in a beauty shop? do i tell a different story? do i have a chinese son? >> jimmy: do you have a chinese son? >> i don't. >> jimmy: would you like a
chinese son? >> i would. i would take one. i decided that it is best to really tell my story so i decided to tell my story. it is me and my daughters and a family of four. i'm raising three teenage girls myself so i thought that was the most interesting story i could tell. hell. not for the faint of heart. >> jimmy: do your kids get involved and say this would be a good story? >> yeah. they pitch stories to me. they say mom, you have to do this one. mom, you can't do this one. >> jimmy: oh, really. so they recognize when the light bulb goes off. >> absolutely. but they're very supportive. they are watching me kind of lift this whole group up and it has been an amazing experience. >> jimmy: by the way, your billboards are much better than dr. phil's. so much better.
this is the billboard. i love this billboard. i drive by this every day on the way to work and i didn't know this was you. every day i thought, i have to google that. i was driving. then by the time i got to work i forget about it. and i did it like nine time in a row. >> i know. it is pretty scary. it is like where's waldo? my friends are seconding me picture from all over l.a. and new york. my kids are seeing it. i'm driving with my 16-year-old the other day. i'm like, she's on her phone. dude, dude, look out the window. what, mom? holy [ bleep ] oh, my god! and she starts filling me in. she's right here! right here! to the bus. and i'm like -- >> jimmy: did you flip over so they recognized you? >> well, it's strange. the weird thing is i feel more
comfortable with that. with my ass than my face. my daughters all ride public transportation and i really live in my town. so that's much better for me. >> jimmy: no one will ever recognize you from that unless you collapse in the street. other than that. so the show, you produced it, did you some great els with him on his show. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. >> jimmy: is he like your spirit guide when it comes to figuring out what you're going to do? >> yeah. we actually are creative muses for each other. we've been working together. >> jimmy: maybe you are his spirit guide then. >> i think i am. >> jimmy: you've done a lot of animated work. a lot of people don't know, you played bobby hill on king of the
hill. [ applause ] >> jimmy: and the fact bart simpson is played by a female voice actor. >> that's right. >> jimmy: have you played boys before? >> well, i kind of started out on camera maze boys and doing gender bending things which was weird. i would -- >> jimmy: i have a photograph here. >> what do you have? oh, my god. >> jimmy: this is from the red foxx show. you're red's son here? what's going on? >> i'm tony rutledge! hey! i held up the news stands. >> jimmy: i loved red fox. he was unbelievable. >> i was his son. i was his little white son. and he would be liker you can't be in a bedroom with me? he would be like totally afraid because i was actually a girl.
>> jimmy: why was a girl playing a boy on his show? >> he wanted to foster a kid. so i went in the audition in drag as paul siegal. that's my maiden name. i never should have changed it. really big mistake. one of the worst of my high of. so i went through all the different castings as paul siegal. and then they changed the pilot so that they have quarters of the way through you find out that i'm really a girl. so you know, red would get nervous about having scenes with me like hanging out in his bedroom and -- he adopted me. so i got replaced by sinbad. >> jimmy: how old was sinbad? >> yeah. me and sinbad. i always took my parts. >> jimmy: wow! >> he was like a grown man person. >> jimmy: now that you say it,
you're kind of interchangeable. >> we're really alike. >> jimmy: that's amazing. did you really get to know red? >> oh, yeah. we got very close. he offered me $7,000 if i let him suck my teeth. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: were they in your mouth at the time? >> is that weird? he said i had beautiful teeth. he didn't mean it. he was joking around. >> jimmy: why 7,000? he didn't mean it? that's a very specific number. >> we were very close. he was very sweet. in the end -- we had some fun transactions. it was the '80s! i don't know what to say. >> jimmy: well, it is very good to see you. i highly recommend the show. "better things" premieres tomorrow night at 10 on fx. and we shall return with music from bastille.
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>> jimmy: thanks to dr. phil and pamela ad london. we ran out of time so we apologize to matt damon. nightline is next but first, their album "wild world" comes out on friday, here with the song "good grief" with some help from the cletones, bastille! ♪ ♪ watching through my fingers watching through my fingers ♪ ♪ shut my eyes and count to ten ♪ ♪ it goes in one ear out the other in one ear out the other ♪
♪ burning bright right till the end ♪ ♪ now you'll be missing from the photographs missing from the photographs ♪ ♪ watching through my fingers watching through my fingers ♪ ♪ in my thoughts you're far away ♪ ♪ and you are whistling a melody whistling a melody ♪ ♪ crystallizing clear as day oh i can picture you so easily picture you so easily ♪ ♪ what's gonna be left of the world if you're not in it what's gonna be left of the world oh ♪ ♪ every minute and every hour ♪ ♪ i miss you i miss you i miss you more ♪ ♪ every stumble and each misfire ♪ ♪ i miss you i miss you i miss you more ♪ ♪ watching through my fingers watching through
my fingers ♪ ♪ caught off guard by your favourite song will i be dancing ♪ ♪ at a funeral dancing at a funeral ♪ ♪ sleeping in the clothes you love ♪ ♪ it's such a shame we have to see them burn shame we have to see them burn ♪ ♪ what's gonna be left of the world if you're not in it what's gonna be left of the world oh ♪ ♪ every minute and every hour ♪ ♪ i miss you i miss you i miss you more ♪ ♪ every stumble and each misfire ♪ ♪ i miss you i miss you i miss you more ♪ ♪ you might have to excuse me i've lost control of all of my senses ♪
♪ you might have to excuse me i've lost control of all of my words ♪ ♪ so get drunk call me a fool put me in my place put me in my place ♪ ♪ pick me up up off the floor ♪ ♪ put me in my place put me in my place ♪ ♪ every minute and every hour ♪ ♪ i miss you i miss you i miss you more ♪ ♪ every stumble and each misfire ♪ ♪ i miss you i miss you i miss you more ♪ ♪ watching through my fingers watching through my fingers ♪ ♪ cuz' every minute and every hour ♪ ♪ i miss you i miss you i miss you more ♪
this is "nightline." tonight, disability fraud. this navy veteran wheels his way on to easy street until he ran into legal trouble. caught in the act. convicted of staying well over a million dollars in v.a. benefits. >> i'm not faking anything. >> why he said the jury got it wrong. plus the miracle on the hudson hitting the big screen. captain sully in those critical seconds. >> brace for impact. >> what he was looking for in an instant was a flat wide place to land. >> and the questions that followed. >> who is hurt and how badly and i noted a count. why were. >> repor