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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  October 10, 2016 11:35pm-12:37am EDT

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>> dicky: from hollywood - it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight - don rickles. john stamos. presidential debate sensation ken bone. and music from two door cinema club. and now, so there's no confusion -- here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> hi, everyone. jimmy, host of the show. thank you for watching. thanks for coming. before we get started, i know a lot of the you here are on vacation. how many of you watched the debate last night? donald trump and hillary
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clinton? [ cheers and applause ] amazing there could be anyone who wouldn't have watched. i was looking forward to it. 67 million people watched donald versus hillary 2. rarely is a sequel better than the original but this definitely was. starting right at the beginning is candidates came out, they did not shake hands. secretary clinton greeted her opponent with a page out of the "access hollywood" bus book. >> hello, hello. hello, hello. >> jimmy: she grabbed him by the p-ward and that was the nicest thing that happened. anyone who expected donald trump to reel it in was way off the mark. he was on fire. he promised that if he was president he'd throw hillary in jail. he called her the devil. not a devil. the devil. which i think that might have been his way of coming on to
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her. in the pickup artist community they call that negging. a lot of post-debate analysis registered surprise that with all that was going on with donald trump, hillary clinton didn't definitively win the debate. the truth is you don't win a debate like that. you survive it. you board up the windows and you get in the basement. you curl up in a ball until it blows over. it's like a tornado. then the next morning you still have a house, you won. for me one of the most interesting parts of the event last night was at the end when one of the undecided voters in the audience asked the candidates to say something nice about each other. well, here's how that went. >> my question to both of you is, would either of you name one positive thing that you respect in one another? >> no. >> i'm shocked to hear that. >> thanks to both of you. good night, everyone. >> well, it's the start of a dialogue is what's important. one of the fascinating things that happened on friday was,
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before the billy bush tape was released, all the news was about hurricane matthew. hurricane matthew, i thought hurricane matthew was going to come to california and get us there was so much. the minute that tape came out, hurricane matthew just disappeared from television. the only channel that continued their round the clock coverage of the hurricane was fox news. because they didn't want to talk about the trump tape. even the weather channel was like, to hell with this, let's go with the trump tape. [ laughter ] [ applause ] more than 1 million people lost power in their homes. the only person mentioning disaster on a national level was donald trump. >> the fact is almost everything she's done in foreign policy has been a mistake and it's been a disaster. >> mr. trump, we're going to -- >> the inner cities of our country -- which are a dissals tear. obamacare is a total disaster. the education is a disaster. what that's going to do is a disaster. perhaps the greatest disaster. iraq was a disaster.
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i think aleppo is a disaster. obamacare is a disaster. it was disaster. it is a disaster. take a look at senate run. take a look at upstate new york -- >> your two minutes is up, secretary clinton. >> it turned out to be a disaster. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: well, all right. someone on his team might want to think about investing in a thesaurus. they're of disasters "the washington post" on friday leaked behind the scenes video of donald trump chatting with billy bush on the "access hollywood" bus, this is back in 2005. trump was caught on tape telling billy about the time he tried to have sex with entertainment reporter nancy o'dell. he says he took her furniture shopping. by the way, i want some follow-up, i want to know if that happened, and if it did, what did he buy her? a sizable item? a hutch or a die net set? are we talking ottoman? i don't know. i want to know. at one point trump brags about being able to do anything he wants with women, including
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grabbing them by their lady parts. it's a bit unsavory. and we wanted to create a version of this tape that could be enjoyed by audiences of all ages so we took the audio from what trump said to bush on the bus and paired it with video from the "flintstones" and this is what happens when "access hollywood" goes to bedrock. >> i moved on her and i failed. i'll admit it. i moved on her heavily. i took her out furniture shopping. she wanted to get some furnit e furniture. i'll show you where they have some nice furniture. i moved on her like a bitch. i couldn't get there. she was married. all of a sudden i see her shoorks goes the phoney tits, everything, totally changed her looks. i'm automatically attracted to beautiful women. it's like a magnet. when you're a star they let you do it, you can do anything. grab them by the [ bleep ]. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: so of course people were outraged.
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trump apologized. billy bush got suspended from his job. poor jeb bush. billy bush is his cousin, he has to be thinking, why in the hell didn't he release this tape a year ago? [ laughter ] billy was suspended from the "today" show indefinitely. there's a lot of the speculation he might not ever come back to the "today" show. if that's true this means this was billy bush's fine a pearns on that show. he fill in for kathie lee on friday. i think you'll agree if this was his last appearance on the "today" show he went out in style. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ >> might not have been able to do that in my spanx weren't on, got to say that. >> jimmy: spanx for the memories, billy. if this president thing doesn't work out i'd love to see a reality show where donald trump
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and billy bush travel around the country, talking, evaluating women, whatever they do. after the tape came out more than two dozen republicans who had either supported or endorsed donald trump unendorsed him. senator john mccain, governor john kasich, former secretary of state condoleezza rice among the list of prominent republicans who denounced him. some of them called for him to withdraw from the race. even arnold schwarzenegger, who happens to be the new host of "the apprentice," announced he won't vote for trump. he said he's never voted for anyone other than a republican before but this time he chose his country over his party. here's the statement arnold released on saturday afternoon. ♪ >> jimmy: you can see he is outraged. [ laughter ] he grabs his women by the waist. [ cheers and applause ] by the way, of all this stuff, can you imagine how pissed donald trump must have been when he heard arnold schwarzenegger
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wasn't supporting him anymore after that? i mean, i would have loved to have been the fly on hillary's face when that news came in. of course trump is eager to let cancer know that what he said was just talk. specifically locker room talk. >> this is locker room talk. it's locker room talk. >> and you have two minutes for this. >> i told you that was locker room talk. this was locker room talk. >> jimmy: when guys go in the locker room, we go nuts, we start using curse words, we look at pornography, we throw up on each other, it's disgusting. but that's how it goes in a locker -- guillermo and i have locker room talk all the time. >> guillermo: that's right. >> jimmy: in fact, we had some locker room talk today and we thought we might show it to you. >> jimmy: yeah, all right, see you guys later. >> hey, jimmy. >> jimmy: what's going on? >> not much. just thinking about boobs. >> jimmy: oh, boobs, yeah. those are great. you know what else i like?
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butts. >> you're right. butts are good too. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. what are you doing after this? >> nothing, just thinking about naked ladies. >> oh, yeah, naked ladies! honk, honk! >> brrr! >> jimmy: jungle-womba. guiller guillermo? you ar horny little [ bleep ], aren't you. >> sorry, jimmy. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right. that was three hours ago. we don't talk like that anymore. we were young. it was an interesting weekend but no matter which candidate you support i think we can all agree the winner of last night's debate was this gentleman. >> we have one more question from ken bone about energy policy, ken? >> what steps will your energy policy take to meet our energy needs while at the same time remaining environmentally
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friendly and minimizing job loss for fossil power plant workers this. >> jimmy: that delightful man is ken bone, from granite city, illinois. when we come back we are going to check with ken and his sweater live on the wall of america. hi, ken. we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ that's not fair, he should give you your rollerblades back. and, she's back. storm coming? a very dangerous cheese storm. with the blue cash everyday card from american express you get cash back on this. mouth toys. that really takes me back. cash back on this. baloney and medical gauze. and even this. who said shrimmpppppppppppp? ahhh, shrimp. the lobster's little brother. great choice. ughhhhhh, i'm so shrimp rich. all with no annual fee. it's more than cash back. it's backed by the service and security of american express.
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>> jimmy: welcome back. still to come, john stamos, don rickles, music from two board minute ka club. happy columbus day. i have to believe if columbus could see america today he would
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have turned all three of those boats around and headed back to spain. a lot has changed about the way we talk about columbus since i was in school and the way we tell the story. columbus isn't necessarily the friendly character we sang about sailing the ocean blue. and i want to make sure that i don't offend anyone when i talk about it. so abc hired a political corrector to help me with this tonight. hi, there. how are you? so you'll help me, let me know -- [ cheers and applause ] so christopher columbus was a great man. christopher columbus was a heroic man? christopher columbus was a man. okay. a man who discovered america. a man who set out to discover america. a man who went to a place where a lot of people already there that we call america. okay. there he befriended indians. he -- there he met native americans?
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no? oh. there he was an unwelcome visit tore the indigenous people of the land that would come to be known as the united states. thank you. [ cheers and applause ] the end. that's the end of the story. it's not the end? oh, that's right. this is where i personally choose to end the story, but i cannot say definitively that this is the end because that would be dismissive of the stories of so many others. good? thank you. [ cheers and applause ] it's not as catchy that way. back to the debate -- no, no, don't give him any cards. last night america was introduced to an undecided voter named ken bone who quickly became the darling of the internet. joining us now from st. louis on our big cisco screen, the wall of america, please welcome ken. hi, concern. [ cheers and applause ] >> hi, jimmy. how are you this evening? >> jimmy: doing well and i'm
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grateful to you for spending time with us tonight. do you have any idea of how adorable you are? first i want to say. >> that's a definitive yes. >> jimmy: okay, good. so when i saw you last night i was immediately e-mailing our producers on the show to try to get you. when did you find out that you'd suddenly become famous? >> we weren't allowed to have our phones or any electronic devices with us. so when i turned my phone back on, when i got back to my car at about 10:15 central, and i had a few thousand missed messages, i started to think that maybe today was going to be a long day. >> jimmy: did you know your fans are now calling themselves bone-heads? >> that's fan fantastic, i've been calling my family that for years. >> jimmy: good. your twitter handle what is? because there are some fake ones out there. >> i am @kenbone18. there are other, better twitter accounts that use my name but they're not me. >> jimmy: okay. why 18? why there 17 other ken bones on
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twitter? >> there are more than you'd think. it is a fantastic name. [ laughter ] >> 18, mike shannon, cardinal great. >> jimmy: gotcha. do you still have to go to work if you're suddenly an internet sensation? >> i had to apologize for missing committee meetings that i probably would rather not have gone to today. i'm working night shift tomorrow so that i can suffer the indignation of all my co-workers. >> jimmy: explain what happened with the red sweater. you originally weren't supposed to wear that? >> no, it was going to be an olive-colored suit i like very much. my grandfather helped me pick it out a few years ago. i thought, grandpa would be so proudfy wore this suit. apparently i have gotten somewhat more fat since then. [ laughter ] when i got into my car, i split the seat out of my pants. and destroyed my olive suit. i had to do an emergency wardrobe change. >> jimmy: if the smithsonian asks, will you give that sweater to them? >> i mean, give is a strong word, jimmy.
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[ laughter ] >> jimmy: how is your wife mrs. bone and your little bone son handling all of this? >> heather and logan are doing pretty well. heather is maybe a little tired of dealing with me in general after 12 years, but -- [ laughter ] the ridiculousness of the internet today. and logan says dad is the best kind of famous, internet famous. >> jimmy: i see. have you received endorsement offers from companies? >> no, but feel free to pass them along. >> jimmy: i'd like to see lenscrafters, you've got the glasses there. maybe red lobster with the sweater. maybe you could be the new kool-aid guy, burst through the wall. >> i was hoping for maybe -- do they still make moustache wax? have my own line. >> jimmy: i think they do. have you been approached by the producers of the show "bones"? >> no, i have not. i'm wildly underqualified to even pretend i'm one of the people on that show. >> jimmy: are you still undecided as a voter? i know that's the reason you were there in the first place.
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>> everybody doesn't like it that much but i think i'm more undecided than i was before. i had to put my head down while mom and dad were arguing over thanksgiving dinner last night. >> jimmy: are you an indecisive person in general? >> not usually. this is an unusual political cycle. it's been so negative. and i tried to really base most of my decisions on positive things. neither of them have given me many. so donald trump maybe is more in line with my economic interests because i work in coal electricity. >> jimmy: i see. >> but i would really hate for anyone's rights to be taken back. we've fought so hard to get marriage equality and rights expanded to more americans. and i couldn't -- it would be unconscionable for me to see those taken away by a supreme court justice appointed by donald trump. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i see bill clinton talking to you. i believe we have some video of that. where you had a little chat with
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bill clinton at the end of the debate. what did you guys talk about? >> bill clinton was a really personable guy. i would have voted for him if i had not been 12 years old when he ran for president. but i'm afraid it was pretty boring stuff until his security team whisked him away. we were talking about energy policy. >> jimmy: there's also a shot of you using a disposable camera. where did you get the disposable camera? i haven't seen one of those in a long time. >> i hope i can get it developed. i don't know. [ laughter ] i might have to keep it. but we were sequestered, basically, for 14 hours yesterday, from 8:00 a.m. our time until the debate was over. with no electronic devices allowed. >> jimmy: oh, okay. >> several people wasted away to nothing with no twitter access. >> jimmy: i gotcha. >> and they gave us the disposable cameras so we could take pictures when the debate was over. >> jimmy: before you go i have one question, i'd like to go to the studio audience, someone in the audience has a question for ken. yes, go ahead, sir. >> yeah, last night when you asked about energy policy, there was something i knew i needed to
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ask you. how did you ever get such a fresh and cool style? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> i would love to say that i was born this way. i think the short answer is that my wife dresses me. like all great americans. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: well, ken, it's been a pleasure talking to you. i really appreciate your time. and thank you for chatting with us tonight. i want to get you a suit from casual male xl and a digital camera. >> that's the best thing i've ever heard. thank you very much, jimmy. please get out and vote. >> jimmy: ken bone, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] the man of the show. music from two door cinema club. we'll be right back with john stamos and don rickles! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by paqui chips. from nacho cheese to haunted ghost pepper, there's a flavor for you.
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and so when i saw that, that was completely disqualifying. i'm a republican, but this election is so much bigger than party. my son max can't live in trump world. so i'm crossing party lines and voting for hillary. i don't always agree with her, but she's reasonable. and she's smart. she can work with people to solve problems. i want to be able to tell my kids that i did the right thing when it really mattered. i'm hillary clinton and i approve this message.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, there. welcome back. tonight this is are in new album called "gameshow." it comes out friday. two door cinema club from the crown royal stage. tomorrow - jennifer connelly will be here. from espn, stephen a. smith will
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join us. we'll have music from crx - and later this week - matthew perry, laverne cox, music from nas and erykah badu. and on thursday night, the legendary voice of the los angeles dodgers, the great vin scully will be here. [ cheers and applause ] i am very excited about that. please joins us. we have two first guests tonight. one of them is a dreamboat whose face has been plastered on young girls' bedroom walls for decades. the other was on "full house." [ laughter ] see don live at the orleans in vegas october 22nd and 23rd, and john on "scream queens" on fox. please welcome don rickles and john stamos. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> how are you? [ cheers and applause ] >> why does that guy who looks like me, goes crazy pumping this crowd. don't applaud, you don't have to make them nuts, they'll applaud.
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>> jimmy: he's the warmup guy. >> okay, that's it, let's go. >> jimmy: you can't leave. thank you for coming together because i always -- i love that you're such close friends and you have this very, very close relationship. for how long? how long have you known john? >> about an hour. >> been friends about 30 years, i think. >> yeah, we met in a restaurant, right? we were sitting next -- tell them. >> i saw you -- >> don't. >> all right. this is the friendship right there. before we start, can i say, he's the highlight of my life. i love this man so much. [ cheers and applause ] so grateful to be on the show with him. if i was ever to write a book of you, if you would have told me one day i'd be on jimmy kimmel's show with don rick sells i'd be like, well, jimmy kimmel, how can he have a show? but the don rickles part. >> jimmy: yeah, we're rubbing off on him, he's now insulting me thanks to you. >> shut up. >> jimmy:.
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>> i got to take my parents to see him and mr. sinatra in the '90s. i was dating paula abdul at the time. you remember paula? >> of course, the first girl you were in heat for. >> and the beauty was -- >> jimmy: how many girls have you seen him with over the years? >> he's been with all sorts. the ones i used to be bothered by had the beach ball when they were 12. he's a good-looking kid require call him a kid, he's a man today. but they used to -- him and bob saggat, our dear friend. >> jimmy: sure. >> bob's not here, his guitar broke. you've got to watch bob. ♪ i'm at home tomorrow and my mother said blah, blah, blah ♪ bang boom boom and it's all clean stuff. anyway. he's a wonderful guy, a dear friend. john's friend. >> jimmy: i enjoy having you here. >> remember when we came to see you? i was trying to go back stage to meet you and mr. sinatra to
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impress my parents. we did get to go back and see you. you were so kind, so nice to us. we took pictures with frank, do you have those? >> jimmy: john and his mom and dad. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: there's frank. [ cheers and applause ] there's you and paula and frank sinatra. [ cheers and applause ] very tan people. >> at the end of the show -- >> what about your going with a young lady now, what's her name? >> kaitlin. >> okay. it's a beautiful girl. so you bring up paula. [ laughter ] >> anyway. so don would introduce the celebrities in the audience. do you remember? and like tony danza was there, paula stood up, you said john stamos. and i was sort of embarrassed. he said, he's probably sitting in the grass, he's probably smoking grass. and sinatra grabbed the mike and said, smoke one for me, johnny. [ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: wow. >> remember that? >> i remember. i think i was wearing a blue tie. >> jimmy: uh-huh. by the way, speaking of bob saggat, you mentioned bob saggat. john and i were at bob saggat's 60th birthday party -- >> sorry. >> jimmy: john threw bob saggat's 60th birthday party. >> what? >> jimmy: john paid for bob saggat's birthday party, did you know that? >> john's lonely. >> you were invited. you had a gig. >> i'm big, i don't need that with bob saggat. one thing, he's got beautiful daughters. we just saw them in new york. saggat's great. a different mind. the two of them come to my house occasion occasionally. not to my house, that would be pushing it. restaurants. when i first met, right -- they always ask me what do you think of this girl? you think it's okay? i got to check these girls out, you know.
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>> jimmy: right. >> i'm married 51 years to a hooker. no, that's a joke. she's backstage going, "i don't think that's funny." [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: barbara's not a hooker for the record. >> she's not, she's a wonderful girl. you know her. a lot of happiness with molly. >> jimmy: thank you very much. >> you just got married? >> jimmy: couple of years ago. >> for the first time tonight i met your son. >> jimmy: oh, you did? >> yes, he's a wonderful kid. >> jimmy: oh, good. >> he gave me some cocaine. >> jimmy: oh, he did? [ laughter ] >> no, that's a joke. >> jimmy: anything to make you happy. >> that's a joke. he's a wonderful young kid. he was smiling because he knows someday he's going to come into a lot of money. that's just a joke. >> jimmy: god willing. >> it's just a joke that works with my daughter. >> jimmy: your daughter mindy rickles, comedian. >> they're both comedians.
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>> i thought this was interesting. i'm not sure you realize this. you have the gig on the 22nd and 23rd in veg gas in the orleans. your daughter is performing that very same weekend at i believe the tropicana. >> right. >> i know what show i'm going to. >> you know, john, she has my sense of humor. she does. >> yeah? >> when she was a young woman, graduated out of ucla. usc. she major in the tennis. i think she graduated. she started to go out dating. so knowing my sense of humor, she was out with this guy, she says to the guy, you're going to wear that tie? and the guy said, yeah. and he never called her again. she said, dad, i don't know, all i said was, you're going to wear that tie? i said, you said that? well, you say it! >> jimmy: yeah, would you be happy if mindy dated john? >> ha ha ha. >> jimmy: would that please you? >> i would kill myself. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: don rickles. >> no, too old, too old.
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>> jimmy: don rick ankles and john stamos, be back with more after this. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ with my moderate to severe crohn's disease,... ...i was always searching for ways to manage my symptoms. i thought i had it covered. then i realized managing was all i was doing. when i finally told my doctor, he said humira was for people like me who have tried other medications,... but still experience the symptoms of moderate to severe crohn's disease. in clinical studies, the majority of patients on humira saw significant symptom relief... ...and many achieved remission. humira can lower your ability to fight infections... ...including tuberculosis. serious, sometimes fatal infections and cancers,... including lymphoma, have happened; as have blood, liver, and nervous system problems, serious allergic reactions,... ...and new or worsening heart failure. before treatment, get tested for tb. tell your doctor if you've been to areas where certain fungal infections are common, and if you've had tb,... ...hepatitis b, are prone to infections, ...or have flu-like symptoms or sores. don't start humira if you have an infection. if you're still just managing your symptoms,
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>> jimmy: we're back.
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don rick ankles and john stamos. john is in "scream queens" tuesday nights on fox. don will be live in las vegas at the over liens on october 22nd and 23rd. that is a great show. >> john has a great show, tell them about it. >> jimmy: have you watched "scream queens"? >> every night. no, i've seen it. he's great. you know, but i'm busy trying to find out if ronald reagan's going to win the election. laugh live. >> jimmy: you've got the wrong -- that's not the guy running. >> oh! >> jimmy: it's a different guy. did you watch the debate? >> no, i live in guam. >> jimmy: i don't know. >> of course i watched it, like everybody else that watched it. no, i sat in the cellar with a flashlight. >> jimmy: what do you make of what's going on? >> i don't get into politics but tell you the truth i'm waiting for a jewish president. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: did you watch the dodgers game? >> that's important. >> jimmy: you guys ever go to the games together? >> i used to.
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used to have a box. now i had a little incident with my leg. >> look at our shoes, we have the same shoes. >> who cares? >> cool, huh? [ cheers and applause ] >> he brings up his shoes. >> i called him this afternoon -- >> the same socks? smell my socks. >> i said, what are you wearing? he said, who cares, my wardrobe is worth $4 million. >> no, his show is really wonderful. you know what his career, god bless him, every time he shows up on the screen, it's always a winner. because he and saggat too, the two of them really -- they catch on with shows. >> jimmy: more jonathan bob, right? >> you said that. [ laughter ] >> i said, you watch the show? he said, you're veg. not the type of show i would watch. but i'm having the time of my life. >> i didn't say not the type i watch, i said i watched it once. >> right. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you hang around with regis also. does regis ever enter your circle?
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no? >> questions and answers. you do the questions, then you answer? we could go home. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: who do you like better, john or regis? >> neither one. no, regis is a dear friend, john is a dear friend, i've been blessed with friends. regis is in ireland hoping they recognize him. [ laughter ] he's a wonderful guy. you know regis. >> yeah, loud. >> when we're in new york, like a goofball, we're in a car. roll down the window, goes "rick ankles and regis are here!" and the cop that's directing traffic goes, who? >> jimmy: you guys have fun together. do you socialize? >> we're doing a show together. >> jimmy: i know. >> the two of us will be at the savon later on this month. where we do a show together which catches on, it's great.
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we do a talk, regis talks in the front, then tells his career, anyway. i love him dearly. >> jimmy: does he sing? >> he sings irish songs, if you like the irish. i just sit and watch the irish fans that sit in the stands and go, bla. >> who's better than this guy on the planet? who is better than this cat? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: it is amazing. i know you don't want to hear about this stuff. but what's the funniest thing you ever saw don do, off camera, real life? >> more so he's more sentimental when we're off camera. he always says such beautiful things. as he's saying tonight. he gives great toasts. but mostly -- he does really give good advice. he wants to make sure that i'm happy. he was there when my mother passed away, he's very good with me. it's an odd friendship but it makes perfect sense to my heart. i just love him.
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[ applause ] >> jimmy: that's very sweet. look at that. john stamos and don rick ankles. we'll be right back! people spend less time lying awake with aches and pains with advil pm than with tylenol pm. advil pm combines the number one pain reliever with the number one sleep aid. gentle, non-habit forming advil pm. for a healing night's sleep.
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>> jimmy: we are back with don rickles and john stamos. oh, hey. you got your own little -- this is an action figure? would that be the correct way to describe this little doll? this just came out. this is hot off the presses. >> drop my pants, i'm going to fire a rocket. kiss my hockey puck. i don't like to get into politics but of all the candidates i'm the better one. how about you go away. you're a dummy. oh my god what are we going to do later, grab my legs and make a wish. >> jimmy: i'm going to bring this home to my daughter and she's going to be delighted. >> that's good. you have that, right? >> jimmy: yeah. >> i'll show you how important you are. here. >> jimmy: what? >> this is -- this is him. >> jimmy: oh. where did this come from? >> that's you. you're a dwarf.
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>> what that is? >> it's a dolph jimmy. >> jimmy: where did you get this? i've never seen this before. look at how much fun we're having together. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: look at this. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: john's head bounces. look at how big john is by comparison. >> why'd they do that? does this do that? >> that would be a weird wedding cake. [ laughter ] >> that was a good one, john. >> jimmy: i mentioned, talking about the dodgers, i know you're a big fan. vin scully, do you know vin scully? >> vin scully. >> i tell you, he's a great man. unfortunately, i shouldn't -- well -- i lost my son, rest his soul, larry. he was a great youngster. vin was a guy from nowhere, called up, wished me -- >> jimmy: is that right? >> yes. i never forgot that. i spoke to him last week. we had a nice, wonderful chat.
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i hit him a fly ball and he dropped it. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how do you think the dodgers are going to do? you feel optimistic? >> we have a pitching situation. >> jimmy: yeah. >> after kershaw, eight guys in the bull pen going, me? so we get lucky. >> jimmy: who's your favorite dodger all-time? >> of all hyme time, tommy lasorda i adore, love. [ cheers and applause ] those guys -- i used to go down in the locker room in those days when i didn't have this lousy leg. >> i'll bet your language toward women was a lot better in the locker room. >> when you talk do you have to hold my arm? [ laughter ] >> i don't talk do you like, john!
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john! [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> i tried to say something nice, topical. >> john, when you jump in -- say something smart instead of grabbing me by the -- >> talk about saggat some more. >> no, john, you know this. the truth, you made me lose my thought. i used to go down in the locker room with the dodgers in the old days. tommy would say -- oh, the best one -- go out to the mound and take the pitcher out. it's true. and i put on the uniform. i said, tommy will get fired. contin don't worry, just go out there. >> jimmy: in the middle of the game? >> no, in detroit. [ laughter ] how did you get this show? >> jimmy: i don't know. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> morons. they're morons. telling a story, where do you think i was? just butt out.
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hope to got you got the job. >> jimmy: i can go in the back if you want. >> no, i love you. listen. so i go to the mound. mexican kids out there. give me the ball. who the hell are you? who are you? i said, the manager. i'm taking the ball. you can't take the ball, give me it back! i grabbed the ball. harry winnow, a great umpire, he runs out, rips off the mask, and he says, it's don rickles, can you get me two tickets to the dean martin show? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: don rickles, everybody. live at the over liens october 22nd and 23rd. john stamos on "scream queens," tuesdays at 9:00 on fox. and we shall return with music from two door cinema club. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is brought to you by new crown royal vanilla whiskey. vanilla so good.
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♪ ♪ ♪ with simply right checking from santander bank, just make one deposit, withdrawal, transfer, or payment each month to waive the monthly fee. and there's no minimum balance. you're alright with simply right checking from santander bank. ♪ are you feeling alright, baby? ♪
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>> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is brought to you by new crown royal vanilla whiskey. vanilla so good.
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>> jimmy: i'd like to thank don rickles, john stamos and you can see him at the over liens october 22nd and 23rd and his daughter mindy at the tropicana those same nights. apologize to matt damon. we ran out of time. "nightline" is next but first, their album "gameshow" comes out on friday. here with the title track, two door cinema club! ♪ ♪ ♪ and then i drew my line oh what a twisted crime sink float sink float sink float sink ♪ ♪ in pursuit of looking good you must do everything
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you should why think don't think ♪ ♪ don't think why sing to me you're so pretty i'm a girl i'm a ghost ♪ ♪ i'm a gameshow nobody wants me fried over-easy say my name ♪ ♪ name insane insane ♪ i'm a lynchian dream i'm made of plasticine i'm old pinocchio ♪ ♪ broken nose let me go
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i'll be the souvenir of this cheap champagne year spill the bubbles ♪ ♪ on designer clothes sing to me you're so pretty i'm a girl i'm a ghost ♪ ♪ i'm a gameshow nobody wants me fried over-easy say my name ♪ ♪ name insane insane i don't know what to wear i can't go over there well let's talk afterwards ♪
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♪ somehow this strange love makes it easier just give me something anything to live by ♪ ♪ ♪ my blood is pumping so fast i've forgotten why i try sing to me ♪ ♪ you're so pretty i'm a girl i'm a ghost i'm a gameshow nobody wants me ♪ ♪ fried over-easy say my name name insane insane ♪ ♪
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[ cheers and applause ]
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tonight, a special edition of "nightline." inside the final 30. >> it's just awfully good that someone with the temperament of donald trump is not in charge of the law in our country. >> because you'd be in jail. >> the clinton/trump vitriol reaching new heights. we go inside. >> something we have never, ever seen before. >> "nightline" coanchor byron pitts and terry moran behind the scenes documenting the road to the white house. on the heels of a shocking leak. >> this was locker room talk. >> but did trump turn the tables? the controversies that continue to dog hillary. from bill's past accusers to those deleted e-mails. this special edition of "nightline," "inside the final 30," will be right back.


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