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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  January 30, 2017 11:35pm-12:37am EST

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♪ >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- natalie portman. from "rosewood," and now, and furthermore, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for coming. guillermo's away on assignment but he'll be back tomorrow. what a weekend it was, there's so much going on. i know, i'm sorry. i don't know if you're on facebook. this is facebook in a nutshell. this is not our country. click here to contact your senator. we must resist.
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oh, look who's almost walking. sign up here to march on washington. he must be impeached. i made buffalo chicken dip, it's unbelievable. there's a lot of passion because after like 60 years we finally have a president who keeps his campaign promises and it's donald trump. [ laughter ] it's almost impossible to keep up with all of this. you know how over the course of his time in office, over four years or eight years, the president gets old and his hair turns x-ray? during this administration, instead of him, that's going to happen to all of us. [ laughter ] as i'm sure you know, president trump on friday signed an executive order that bans citizens from seven predominantly muslim countries from entering the united states for 90 days, bans refugees from entering the united states for 120 days. there were demonstrations in just about every major city yesterday. people went to the airport to protest. that's when you know people are mad. it's sunday, they have no travel plans, and they go to the
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airport. [ laughter ] travelers from the seven restricted countries, most of them got on a plane, had no idea they would be stopped, were detained by immigration, including a 5-year-old boy who was detained for hours while his mother, who was born in iran, waited at the gate for him. and that meant lucky sean spicer, the white house press secretary, had the unenviable job trying to explain how detaining a 5-year-old helps keep the country safe. >> you can nit-pick and say this individual -- but that's why we slow it down. to make sure if they are a 5-year-old, maybe they're with their parents and they don't pose a threat. but to assume that just because of someone's age or gender, whatever, they don't pose a threat, would be misguided and wrong. >> jimmy: yeah, unless there's 5 years old! what's he going to do? [ cheers and applause ] tinker toys? fortunately, fortunately the white house press room is on the ground floor which is good because that way sean won't hurt himself when he eventually jumps out the window.
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and while all this was happening, donald trump is hosting a screening at the white house of the movie "finding dory" which ironically is a movie about a fish trying to find her parents. to his credit he was so moved by the film, he lifted all travel restrictions on clownfish. so that is good. [ laughter ] i don't understand any of this. i mean, if donald trump -- think of this, if he stops all the immigrants from coming into the country, where's he going to find his next wife? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] meanwhile, the prime minister of canada, justin trudeau, in the middle of all the uproar, tweeted this. he wrote, to those fleeing persecution, terror, and war, canadians will welcome you regardless of your faith, diversity is our strength, #welcometocanada. gee thanks, justin. as if we didn't look bad enough already. this is like when your mom catches you smoking, then your little brother bursts in and goes, i got an "a" on my book report! so trump spoke with a number of
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foreign leaders over the weekend, including the president of mexico, the prime minister of germany. he also spoke with vladimir putin for about an hour. putin wanted to know if trump liked the gift he got him. donald told him, yes, he was enjoying the presidency very much. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i don't know if you're aware, every time trump finishes a call with a world leader without starting a war, steve bannon lets him watch a video on his ipad. steve bannon, six months ago ran a website, now serves as chief counselor to the president, he's the one who called the immediate opposition party and suggested it was time for reporters to "keep their mouths shut." trump echoed that today. he called the media the opposition party in a tweet this morning. you know, i have to say the press is very hard on our president. seems like they criticize almost everything he does. fortunately there's a new
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totally unbiased outlet whose mission it is to make sure donald trump gets the even handed coverage he deserves. >> this is trump tv. >> it was another historic weekend for our new president. on friday, president trump used his large masculine hands to sign an executive order suspending immigration from the bad countries. enthusiasm for the order was instantaneous. as thousands of safety lovers swarmed airports nationwide to slow their support. though the airport crowds weren't as sizable as president trump's inauguration audience, they made a big impact on s cinnab cinnabon, sales skyrocketed giving obama's disastrous economy an uptick. president trump fielded calls of congratulation from foreign fans like mexican president enrique pena nieto and russian president vladimir putin, with whom trump has a great relationship, but not too great, just the right amount of great. the president's news conference with british prime minister
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theresa may, a 4 at best, drew raves, many saying it was the greatest joint press conference ever staged. the appointment of the new head of the fbi, cia, nsa steve bannon was met with a great deal of enthusiasm. >> the appointment of mr. bannon is something which is a radical departure from any national security council in history. >> history indeed. coming up next, there's nothing creepy about kellyanne conway. why jesus would agree on banning refugees. and sean spicer's sexy new look. first here's a look at today's losers. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: well, now let's turn attention to something everyone can agree is bad for the country, "the bachelor." i have to be honest with you guys. i don't know if i'm watching "the bachelor" for the right reasons. is watching it specifically to make fun of the people on it one of the right reasons? [ cheers and applause ]
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okay, maybe i am. tonight, nick and his women were in new orleans where for their group date nick took them to a haunted mansion. >> you guys want to know what we're doing here? who believes in ghosts? we're batting 1000 here. >> what a surprise, a group of women who believe in finding love on a reality show also believe in ghosts, every one. tonight was the big showdown between taylor, the mental health counselor, and corinne, the mental health patient. corinne, if you've not been watching the show, corinne is one of the most polarizing contestants ever. does polarizing mean everyone hates her? no? okay, she's one of the most reviled contestants ever. taylor corinne have been butting heads so of course they sent them on the dreaded two on one dates together. at the end of the date one of the women has to go home. it was especially dramatic because they hate each other. taylor questioned corinne's emotional intelligence. and of course corinne defended
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herself. >> i'm intelligent in my own way. i'm people smart. it's really sad that you can't read other signs of intelligencecy. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: one of the signs of intelligencecy is not using the word intelligencecy. nick took corinne and taylor on a date in the swamp where he made a choice that had "bachelor" fans so crazy, you could hear people screaming at the tv from coast to coast tonight. >> corinne. will you accept this rose? >> absolutely. thank you so much. >> um. i just want to say thank you. it's definitely the most difficult decision i've had to make since i've been here.
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>> jimmy: oh that went well. so decision-making. obviously not one of nick's strengths. [ laughter ] it was good for the show. you have to keep corinne on it. as if getting eliminated on a two on one isn't bad enough, in classic "batch love" style they left the loser behind. this time in the swamp. ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: when you're in the swamp can you get an uber? is that available? speaking of uber, you know there was a hash tag, #deleteuber, trending over the weekend. people upset because in new york when taxi drivers went on strike in solidarity with the protesters at jfk airport, uber at the same time announced they were lowering prices at jfk. some people thought it seemed like they were trying to profit from the strike. which i don't know, i highly doubt the company that charges you $300 to get home on new
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year's would be focused on money during a time like that. [ laughter ] uber then tried to apologize. and created a defense fund for drivers affected by the ban. but the damage was done. and now they're trying to dig out of this hole they created by contacting irate customers individually. >> first there was uber. then uber x, uber plus, uber black, uber lux, now uber sorry. with just a touch, in minutes an uber driver will be at your curb. begging for forgiveness. >> i've just got to say i am so sorry. we did something stupid. we're all monsters. if you can just find it in your heart to forgive us. yes? >> all right, okay, i forgive you. but -- you've got to give me all those mini water bottles. >> sure. there you go. >> and the mints. >> of course.
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let me get that door for you. >> really? wintergreen? >> uber sorry. >> hey. i forgive you, man. >> like uber uber sorry. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i see. we are going to take a break. when we come back from the break, my cousin sal works the returns counter at costco and causes a boat-size load of trouble. stick around, we'll be right back! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ adios, honey, hasta la vista, baby. (sing-songy) fat guy in a little coat. that rug really tied the room together. any questions? bueller? bueller? that's the unlimited effect.
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i know that. tell me something i don't know. (vo) linzess works differently from laxatives. linzess treats adults with ibs with constipation, or chronic constipation. it can help relieve your belly pain, and lets you have more frequent and complete bowel movements that are easier to pass. do not give linzess to children under 6 and it should not be given to children 6 to 17. it may harm them. don't take linzess if you have a bowel blockage. get immediate help if you develop unusual or severe stomach pain, especially with bloody or black stools. the most common side effect is diarrhea, sometimes severe. if it's severe stop taking linzess and call your doctor right away. other side effects include gas, stomach-area pain and swelling. talk to your doctor about managing your symptoms proactively with linzess. >> jimmy: hi there, welcome back to the show. natalie portman, morris chestnut, and music from keyshia
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cole all on the way. tremt we send cousin sal to the happiest place on earth, costco, to work the return counter and work his magic on the customers. this is always a lot of fun so we've done it again, cousin sal wreaking havoc at costco. >> can i help you here? how are you, sir? >> i'm well. how are you? >> good. what are you returning? >> it's a computer, i believe. yeah. laptop. >> it's a laptop? >> uh-huh. >> is it from chris? >> yeah. >> you're brett? >> those are two of my co-workers. >> okay. >> the laptop's causing us problems. >> all right. and it's a $1,500 item? >> correct. >> we could credit that back. how much of a refund are you willing to contribute to the fund? >> it's for my job, i can't. >> it's for your job? so can we do half? >> no. >> then call your boss afterwards? >> no. >> people are giving back at least 20%. most people in here today. it's camille's fund, have you
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heard of camille's fund? >> no, this is not -- this is not up to me, this is my job. >> why don't we -- i'll give you half the refund and then we'll put half in here. >> no. >> then i'll talk to your boss afterwards. you can have him call me. >> i can't, i can't do that, man. this is not -- >> do you know about camille? >> no. >> okay. she's very, you know -- she's in need. >> okay, and i'll come back and donate something, man -- >> okay. >> this is not for me, and i was given this responsibility to put this money back on -- >> no i get it. >> on the company credit card -- >> no i get that, i get that. >> then why do you keep persisting? >> i get that. i get that. >> what -- >> it's all about camille's fund. she's like in need. she's in desperate need right
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now. can i bring her mom over at least to explain to you? if you're thinking about coming back? >> dude -- i'm done talking about it. >> hold on a second. clair? you'll see what i mean. here. >> hi, there. >> this is clair, this is camille's mom. >> thank you so much for donating. >> $1,500 item. >> oh, thank you. >> $750 is going to camille -- >> no, it's not. >> $750! thank you! >> so that will be nice. >> oh my gosh! she's going to be so happy! >> it's not, it's not -- >> it's nice, don't say it's not. >> it's not going to -- i'm not donating. >> i get that. >> you keep saying that to me, but like you can't just go through -- >> you want to at least hear what camille -- tell her what's involved in camille's fund. >> no, i don't -- >> she's so excited to go to cabo. >> do you believe -- >> she wants to go and join them. it's really going to make a big difference. >> sure, and there's plenty of people out there to donate. i'm not trying to be cruel. this is for my job, man. i can't donate any money. >> this is for camille's
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vacation. i know it's your job, it's for her vacation. have you ever been to cabo? >> can i talk to your supervisor? >> this is it, camille's mom, clair. >> right. i'm not donating any of this money. >> thank you so much, i really appreciate it. >> isn't he great? he's going to have his boss call us afterwards and confirm it but it's pretty much -- he's a good guy. >> really sweet. >> it's pretty much a done deal. >> i really appreciate it. so nice of you. >> thank you, man. >> can i talk to your supervisor, then? >> wow, that's a whole different fund. that's maggie's fund, you don't want to get that, she wants to go to the orient. >> oh jesus christ. >> this is the best fund you're going to get as far as deals go. >> i'm not -- there's no deal. i just want to return this. >> right. >> yeah. right. why can't i return it without donating -- >> no, i get that. >> you keep saying that you get that. >> i get that. >> all of these people are returning their items like with no problems. >> she's going to have such a good time. >> can i talk to somebody -- to a supervisor? >> you want to talk to jimmy
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kimmel? he's in that camera right there. >> okay, great. >> thank you, man. you're a very generous guy. appreciate it. you want to go to cabo with camille? >> no. i just want to go back to my job. >> no, i get that. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: thank you, cousin sal. tonight on the show, music from keyshia cole featuring remy ma and french montana. morris chestnut is here and we'll be right back with natalie portman. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ smartphones? o m g ten years later, nothing's really changed. it's time to snap out of it. hello moto. snap on a jbl speaker. put a 70" screen on a wall. get a 10x optical zoom. get excited world. hello moto. moto is here. the moto z with motomods.
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>> jimmy: we're back. tonight from the show "rosewood" morris chestnut is here. then this is her new single its called "you." music from keyshia cole with french montana and remy ma. just be thankful you're not here in the studio, it's very uncomfortable here tonight. i won't go into why. [ cheers and applause ] tomorrow night jamie dornan, adam scott, with music from tucker beathard our first guest tonight is one of those rare former child stars who never went to jail. although she's young, there's still time.
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she has one oscar on her shelf and is nominated for another one for her performance in "jackie" which is in theaters now. please welcome natalie portman. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: you look beautiful, you look fantastic. >> thank you so much. >> jimmy: people must be extra impressed when they see you now, pregnant and glowing and all those good things that pregnant women do. >> thank you. yeah, they're very -- i feel like they're very careful with me. everyone's like, oh, you don't have to stand up, that's okay. and i'm like, i can stand up out of a chair. still. >> jimmy: do people let you in front of them? extra courteous? >> the bathroom line is one i'll take. >> jimmy: that is nice that people do that. i guess they relate. almost like being pregnant is like it's christmas all the time. people are just a little bit friendlier when they see you. >> yeah. >> jimmy: congratulations.
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>> thank you. >> jimmy: i don't know if you're aware of this -- >> you're expecting too. >> jimmy: well -- >> i've heard. >> jimmy: yes, i am. [ laughter ] >> your wife, your wife. >> jimmy: that's not what's going to say but that is true, my wife is expecting. she's eating constantly. are you eating all the time? it's like nathan's hot dog eating contest on coney island. 100% of the time in our house. are you like that as well? >> yeah, i feel like i get a little panicky about food availability. like if i'm going somewhere, i'm like, will they have something i will want to eat? so before i go anywhere i'll have a plate of pancakes or a veggie burger. >> jimmy: oh, really. >> yeah. just to be prepared. >> jimmy: like at the s.a.g. awards, did they have food for you? >> they did. but i preemptively ate. so i didn't need to eat. >> jimmy: that's smart. preemptive eating. that could be a new diet plan. >> it's a strategy. like the angie diet plan. >> jimmy: last time at the
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oscars, when you won the oscar, you were pregnant. [ cheers and applause ] >> it's my thing. >> jimmy: either you wanted to have another baby or you're very superstitio superstitious. >> maybe it's a fake thing i'm doing, style. >> jimmy: that would be -- yeah, you smuggled a basketball in or something like that. of course we don't want this to happen. but if you should go into labor during the oscar broadcast, i want you to know as host i am prepared to deliver the child. >> fantastic. [ cheers and applause ] that would be some history, my friend. >> jimmy: that would be television history. and maybe you name the baby after me. >> jimmy. >> jimmy: or oscar or oscarina or something like that. >> beautiful names all. all of them. >> jimmy: all beautiful names. >> yes. >> jimmy: that's very exciting, congratulations to you. >> thank you. >> jimmy: this movie, you did such a great job in the movie. for those who have not seen this
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film, this is about jackie o., it's her side of the story. which the i don't think -- i don't know, do you know any of her side of the story? >> no, i feel like i knew sort of what we all know about jackie kennedy, her elegance, her resilience in the face of all the life events we know she lived through. but i didn't know what this movie tells about how she kind of created the camelot myth and really understood history in that way. so it was pretty great. >> jimmy: when you say she created the camelot myth, she really had like -- she controlled the media, her interviews, in a way that you couldn't do now. you couldn't do something like that. >> well -- hm. yeah, no, not yet. >> jimmy: well, yeah, yeah. maybe not yet. but right now as it stands. >> she was editing all her interviews. she would sit there and they would let her delete pieces.
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she basically told them what the story was and understood that the people who write history are the ones who make it, really. >> jimmy: how do you avoid doing an imitation, an impression, of someone like her, rather than playing her? is there a difference? >> there is a difference. i think i'm just not very good at imitation. so that makes it easier, i guess. what my understanding of how to get into a character is always through their emotions and everything. and what you understand about their story and what they might be thinking or feeling. and of course for this part, i worked on the voice and the dialect and everything because it has -- it's a very specific accent. but still, the emotional side is what leads. >> jimmy: right. is the important part. it's the essence of the performance. this is from "vanity fair." and this is annie leibovitz took this beautiful photograph of you
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as part of their hollywood issue. [ cheers and applause ] so when you take a photograph like this, do you know what the plan is going in? >> yeah. i mean, i was so excited. annie leibovitz is obviously one of ourartists living today. it's pretty much a great opportunity to get to be photographed. >> something like that with annie leibovitz, will you do anything she asks you to do? >> she's very respectful and i've known her since i was 14. >> jimmy: what if she got loopy and said, we'd like you to sit in this fireplace? or maybe not something dangerous, but would you trust her if it was something that you might not do for another photographer? >> i think i would trust her more than other photographers, but not, you know, at personal risk. >> jimmy: i wanted to ask you, speaking of other photographers, this is another great photograph with ruth negga, also nominated. [ cheers and applause ] she was here and i asked her about this. she said that you guys met like
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five minutes before this. >> i'm easy. [ laughter ] we met and they kind of did that like classic salesman thing where they offer you something that's really outrageous, like okay, ruth, natalie. natalie, ruth. we want you guys to kiss. we were like, no! >> jimmy: really? >> then they were like, okay, okay, okay, fine. if you won't do that, then how about like you're about to kiss? i'm like, oh, okay, sure. >> jimmy: you recognize at the time they were maybe manipulating you? >> not at all. >> jimmy: afterwards you figured it out? >> but it was fun. she is amazing. >> jimmy: yeah, she's fantastic. when we come back we'll see a clip from your film. there go, natalie portman is here with us, her movie is "jackie" in theaters now.
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>> is he inside me now? >> yes, of course. of course he is. >> well, that's a funny game he plays, hiding all the time. >> jimmy: natalie portman in "jackie" in theaters now. john hurt passed away last year. >> yes, he was a great man, i'm glad we got to see that, to honor him. >> jimmy: a great actor too. >> great actor. great, great human being. >> jimmy: you were intimidated -- you've worked with him before. >> we worked together on "v for vendetta" which seems a strangely apt film for the times we're living in right now. and he's just a legendary actor. >> jimmy: at this point you've been well known for such a long time. are there still people that you can't believe you're meeting that you get excited to see? >> all the time. all the time. >> jimmy: really? >> last night, lily tomlin was honored at s.a.g. awards and she's like -- like the main
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person i remember caring about as a kid. >> jimmy: oh, really. >> when i was like 6 years old, i passed by a stage door in washington, we lived in washington, d.c. and she had just done a show at the kennedy center. i waited on line to meet her. i loved edith ann so much. >> jimmy: you, you knew that, i would think you'd be too young for edith ann. >> how old do you think i am? but yeah, she -- i remember she wrote me "loving goosebumps, lily tomlin." to see her, be in a room where you're seated as a peer, not that she has any peers, but you know. >> jimmy: did you speak to her? does she know that -- >> no. >> jimmy: you did not say, hey, you wrote "loving goosebumps" for me? that's what i write to all my fans as well. "goosebumps and love." that's something else, wow. >> she was amazing.
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>> i was watching her and i was thinking how great is it that she's not -- she didn't decide to just go up on stage and accept the award. she was going to entertain everyone while she was up there and she had jokes and she was prepared and she was still unbelievably funny. to see that, it gives you some hope for the future in a way. >> absolutely. she's major. >> jimmy: she is major. you are going to be playing -- your next role, ruth bader ginsburg. >> yes. >> jimmy: another unbelievable -- >> the great women of american history. >> jimmy: at what point in her life are you playing her? >> it focuses on a particular court case in 1971 that she -- it's a really amazing concept because she was basically fighting for gender equality. but she found a man who had been discriminated against because of his gender. and fought for him in the supreme court, which was all male justices at the time, and got them to be like, hey, this
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isn't fair. because he wasn't getting a tax exemption for taking care of his mother, where a woman would, because of stereotypical gender roles. >> jimmy: very clever. >> a great way to look at -- >> jimmy: that case applied to men and miwomen as well -- >> thousands of statutes based on gender. >> jimmy: have the baby first then go forward. it's great to have you here. >> thank you. >> jimmy: great luck at the oscars, we'll see you then. natalie portman! "jackie" is in theaters now. be right back with morris chestnut!
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♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
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i heard superheroes read chucks norris comics.d you. i heard at night, the boogeyman checks under the bed for chuck. i heard cats say they have chuck-like reflexes. do you think he's still got it? i bet you a buck he catches this salt shaker. you're on! hey! chuck! you owe me a buck. you can't always see what's coming but when you choose unitedhealthcare, finding an in-network doctor that's close to home is easy. so what happened? i had lunch with chuck norris. ♪ unitedhealthcare.
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♪ oh, it'[car horns]y... ♪ [angry shouting] excuse me! [storm siren] when it comes to buying a house... trulia knows the house is only half of it. and with 34 map overlays like traffic, crime, natural hazards, and more... you can find the right house and the right neighborhood for you. trulia. the house is only half of it. >> jimmy: hi there, we're back. still to come, music from keyshia cole. our next guest is a california native who got his big break back in 1991 as ricky in "boyz n the hood." his tv show is called "rose wood." it airs friday nights on fox. please welcome morris chestnut!
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> how, pretty crowd here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we do have some issues but we've worked past them. >> where are they by the way? [ laughter ] wow. that could be a long plane ride home right there. >> jimmy: yes, it is. yes, it is. >> probably a long marriage. >> jimmy: luckily they don't let you bring frying pans on the plane with you. >> tasers. >> jimmy: you grew up in l.a., what part of l.a.? >> born in south central, raised in cerritos. >> jimmy: we here in l.a. know as auto square. >> that's what we're known for, cerritos auto square, the biggest auto mall in the country, probably the world. >> jimmy: that's what they say on the radio commercials. >> that's the only way i know
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it. growing up i used to ride my bike by there. >> jimmy: do you take pride in the fact that it's the largest auto mall in the world? >> we're known for something, come on now. have you heard of cerritos auto square? i'm from there! what's up? >> jimmy: then your big break as i mentioned was "boys inch the hood." >> yes. [ cheers and applause ] thank you, thank you. >> jimmy: especially that -- it's a classic movie scene, spoiler alert if you haven't seen it, it was more than 20 years ago, is the scene where ricky gets shot. >> yes, yes. >> jimmy: because he couldn't wait to go to the bathroom. >> but you know, it's funny you say they haven't seen it. an actress on my show "rose wood" on fox, 8:00 on fridays. [ laughter ] one of the actresses hadn't seen the show. right in the middle -- hadn't seen the movie. right in the middle of the first season she came up to me, like oh, i'm so sad! saw the movie. she had never seen it. >> jimmy: were you upset when she told you she hadn't seen it? >> no.
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>> jimmy: did she tell you beforehand? >> she's very young, she was probably 2 when it first came out. but people are still watching it. >> jimmy: she has an excuse. it's a classic. i have a photograph here. every member -- everyone in this photograph -- [ cheers and applause ] singleton, cuba gooding jr., ice cube, who looks exactly the same somehow. and you. >> he cut off the jerry curls. and me. >> jimmy: you've still got the hat most of the time. who would know? keep in touch with these gentlemen? >> no, just when i see them out and about. ice cube is busy doing everything. cuba's busy being o.j., you know. he did a great job. >> jimmy: how did you get that part in the first place? was that your first -- obviously your first big role, but was it your first role? >> it was my first big role. yes. it was -- i was -- the sec i got my s.a.g. card doing the television version of "nightmare on elm street," a horrible movie back in the day, i did the television version, got my s.a.g. card, then auditioned for
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this movie. it wasn't easy but the pressure wasn't on because they said, i went and met john, he was like my age. so it was like i was meeting this older director. and then they said, you're going to have to go for a screen test. i said, cool. i'm like, that's when i got nervous, screen test. man, got to go to this big warner brothers or paramount, wherever. it was like someplace in south central right where i actually went to -- marla gibbs use to have had an acting school in south central, i used to go to that acting school. when they said the screen test was at that acting school, i felt really comfortable in the environment. >> jimmy: that work the out all right. did you have a job at that time outside of acting? >> yes, i was -- well, working at the bank prior to that. i was a teller for many years. >> jimmy: bank teller. >> yes, and i got fired. six weeks before that. >> jimmy: for what? >> a forgeress -- yeah, yeah. i had a great track record at the bank.
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>> jimmy: a forgeress? i've never heard that word, that's an incredible word, forgeress, who knew there was a gender-assigned -- >> she was an older forger, she was an older lady, came in one day. she was very old but she was great at forgery. >> jimmy: she tricked you? >> yes, she tricked me. >> jimmy: and you got fired for the forgeress? >> yeah, because basically what happens is she came in on a wednesday. we had this procedure that if a customer comes in, like if you came to my bank often, you wouldn't have to show i.d. so on the withdrawal slip i would just put "kc" for known customer. she came in on a wednesday, i'm so sorry, i don't have my i.d., someone stole my purse, can you check the signature card? the signature card when is you go to the bank and sign up, you have to write your signature card down, your name on the signature card. so she came in. she said, can you please check my signature card? i said, i'll check your signature card. i shouldn't have done that, i did it because she was old. >> jimmy: right. [ laughter ] >> and i trusted her.
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so then she came in on a wednesday. she came right back in on a friday. >> jimmy: ahne. >> we were busy, the line out the door. she waited for me. oh, one more time. and she got me for more money. >> jimmy: oh my gosh. >> and i got fired. >> jimmy: you never caught her? she's still out there? [ laughter ] >> she might be. she might be writing your checks now. >> jimmy: on "rose wood" you solve crimes. >> i do. >> jimmy: you're a forensic pathologist or something like that. >> forensic pathologist. >> jimmy: can't "rose wood" take this case? a real twist, you go solve a crime from your full life. >> i should, i should. unfortunately she was elderly at the time -- >> jimmy: dig her up and arrest her! [ laughter ] this is outrageous! are you having fun? do you like being -- >> having a great time. >> jimmy: you shoot in miami? >> we shoot most of the show here, some things in miami. like the exteriors and things
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like that in miami. >> jimmy: i gotcha, you make it look like miami, but really you're going home every night. >> well, we're going home every night. but it definitely looks like miami. we do shoot some things in miami. >> jimmy: listen, i'm not trying to trick you out of your money or anything like that. [ laughter ] >> you're outing me. you're outing the show. >> jimmy: i'm not the forgeress. >> you're outing the show. >> jimmy: it's very good to see you, congratulations on the show. >> thank you. >> jimmy: rose wood" 8:00 friday nights on fox. and we shall return with music from keyshia cole remy ma & french montana. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ dear fellow citizen,
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i know what it's like to want to relax with your family. but enjoying today doesn't mean losing sight of tomorrow. so while i invest in "the now" my mortgage, vacations i still invest in the future, like my children's college tuition and retirement. i can help you piece together your financial journey for today and tomorrow. if you have a question about investing, ask me. sincerely, amanda etheridge, fellow planner and fellow citizen. that's your underwearstrong, dude.cleaner. so clean...keeps you could wear them a second day. charmin ultra strong. it's 4 times stronger, and you can use less enjoy the go with charmin. then shielding lubrication.
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and cooling. brrr. with lubrication before and after the blades. shields and cools while you shave. proshield chill from gillette. >> jimmy: i'd like to thank natalie portman, morris6chestnut and apologize to matt damon, we ran out of time. "nightline" is next but first, here with the song "you" with some help from remy ma and french montana, keyshia cole! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ right about now ♪ you just played me
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for the last time i'm done dealing with you can't come in ♪ ♪ with the same lines everything but the truth you picked the wrong one yeah, yeah ♪ ♪ you picked the wrong one baby you just played me for the last time i'm done dealing with you ♪ ♪ so know i'm not the one for the bull i empty out the closet like a full clip ♪ ♪ you tried so hard to get at me i wish you would've left me when you met me ♪ whole squad said you was a oh let breezy know these as ain't loyal ♪ ♪ blowin' up my phone turn my phone off can't take no lame phone call ♪ ♪ you just played me for the last time i'm done dealing with you can't come in ♪ ♪ with the same lines
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everything but the truth you picked the wrong one yeah, yeah ♪ ♪ you picked the wrong one baby you just played me for the last time i'm done dealing with you ♪ ♪ you picked the wrong one now you pick the right one got no love left and i aint even trying ♪ ♪ to fight dumb you keep your birds cause i'm gone when my flight come ♪ ♪ you know what you did and honestly i'd been tight done ♪ ♪ how you getting take em home then you wife them there's really no ♪ ♪ comparison cause i ain't nothing like them leslie say him ♪ ♪ i'm like don't get me hype cause at one point would had been gun point on site bum ♪ ♪ now i look at it like oyour honor that something light hun i'm happy that it's over ♪ ♪ yeah you only had a slight run i can be a fowl your whole life up ♪ ♪ i might spend the night with your broke out of spite cause you a ♪ ♪ you just played me for the last time i'm done dealing with you can't come in ♪ ♪ with the same lines everything but the truth you picked the wrong one yeah, yeah ♪ ♪ you picked the wrong one baby you just played me for the last time i'm done dealing with you ♪ ♪ you picked the wrong one yeah yeah
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you picked the wrong one baby you picked the wrong one ♪ ♪ yeah, yeah you picked the wrong one baby ♪ ♪ you know these ain't loyal mama always told me these ain't for ya that's why we never mix ♪ ♪ like water with the oil and ima keep you spoiled ♪ ♪ and you know real one hold you down like a real army but i picked the wrong one ♪ ♪ like steve harvey same boss boat dock for eight days but you a selling ♪ ♪ box on the back page sitting reminiscing way before i started tripping about what he said ♪ ♪ or she said but i aint having it your game weak like seven nights ♪ ♪ coming with the same lines like trumps wife ♪ ♪ you just played me for the last time i'm done dealing with you can't come in ♪ ♪ with the same lines everything but the truth you picked the wrong one yeah, yeah ♪ ♪ you picked the wrong one baby you just played me for the last time i'm done dealing with you ♪ ♪ you picked the wrong one yeah yeah you picked the wrong one baby you picked the wrong one ♪ ♪ yeah, yeah you picked
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the wrong one baby ♪ ♪ one last time oh oh ♪ oh yes oh yes >> thank you, thank you. ♪ ♪ it's time to grow up note it's time to know the truth ♪ ♪ you've taken me around in circles like you know you do ♪
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♪ baby won't you come through ♪ every time it feels like this could be the last time ♪ ♪ where's the good in good-bye if i can give this one more try ♪ ♪ hard because they say that true love can never die ♪ ♪ oh what a oh what a feeling it wasn't the buzz that i needed ♪ ♪ incapable incapable of loving like that ♪ ♪ incapable oh incapable ♪ so next time you call my number will be changed ♪ ♪ you'll always be someone that i knew before the pain ♪
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♪ pain pain ♪ every time it feels like this could be the last time ♪ this is a special edition of "nightline." "inside 30: the tramp ban." tonight, breaking news. president trump and those familiar words, you're fired. as he turns on the acting attorney general for not enforcing his controversial travel ban. chaos at airports and the protests in the streets. >> refugees are welcome here! >> as foreign nationals of seven countries are blocked from entering the u.s. >> he crushed their dreams. >> one father separated from his 3-year-old daughter. >> what will the 3-year-old child, what threat she would pose? >> supporters say the new president is doing what they elected him to do. >> first and foremost is to keep our country safe. >> plus what the new travel ban means for families like these. david muir with syrian refugees resettling in america.


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