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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  June 23, 2017 11:35pm-12:37am EDT

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tonight jimmy has on diane keaton, music by phoenix. go dubs! ♪ warriors ♪ warriors >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight, diane keaton, snoop dogg, lonzo and lavar ball, and music from phoenix. and now, put it this way, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: welcome to the show. hi. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thanks to you guys for coming.
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and special thanks to those who were with us in primetime for our nba special earlier tonight. tonight the basketball season either ended or will continue on thursday. i don't know. i wish i did know. but i'm not psychic. you know, i asked them to schedule the game earlier for my convenience, and they said no. [ laughter ] the game is happening now. from oakland, game 5 of the nba finals. the golden state warriors against the cleveland cavaliers. it was a must-win game for cleveland and lebron james. there was an unusual prologue to this one. you know what a prologue is? [ audience responds ] bull [ bleep ]. [ laughter ] sorry, but -- anyway. [ laughter ] the hotel where the warriors practice right now is also hosting the annual business summit for the national cannabis industry. which would explain why steph curry ate his mouth guard. [ laughter ] but at one point the smell of marijuana was so strong in the hotel a representative from the cannabis industry had to go down
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to the gym and be like guys, i know you're up 3-1, but we're trying to get work done up there. [ laughter ] as you know, the warriors and the cavaliers have faced off three straight years now. and the rivalry between the teams gets more heated every time. draymond green of the warriors almost got thrown out of the game on friday night because of some confusion at the scorer's table. and when asked about it draymond took the opportunity to fire a shot not at the officials but at the city of cleveland. >> did you notice that the scorer's table didn't announce that that tech was -- they said the second tech was on you then. they didn't -- >> i don't really pay that much attention. i don't pay much attention to anybody in cleveland, honestly. don't seem to be the sharpest people around. >> jimmy: well, i guess he won't be vacationing in moreland hills this summer. [ laughter ] but the real reason i played that is i don't know if it's just me, but does -- do you agree, does draymond green look like a young jerry seinfeld?
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[ jerry seinfeld's voice ] >> i mean, i watch these infomercials late at night. if it gets late enough, the products start to look good to me. i have actually found myself sitting there thinking, you know, i don't think i have a knife that can cut through a shoe. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: get him a sitcom too. "everybody loved draymond" would be -- [ cheers and applause ] we have a future nba player with us tonight. lonzo ball is here, and he brought his dad, lavar ball. lonzo is from ucla. he's expected to be one of the top two picks in the nba draft. but his dad is the one who keeps making news. his dad said -- i think he said he wants a $3 billion shoe deal for his son and he claims that in his prime when he was playing he could have beat michael jordan one on one. you think he meant at basketball? [ laughter ] because -- anyway, there's a good chance lonzo could play for the lakers. assuming his interview with me goes well tonight. so a lot rests on this. also with us tonight the great diane keaton is here. and music from phoenix, too. [ cheers and applause ] hey, by the way, with the nba and nhl seasons wrapping up, baseball is all we have left. and this is from the mets-braves
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over the weekend. they do something in atlanta i love. it's called beat the freeze. the way it works is a fan has a foot race with this character called the freeze. i don't know why they do it, but stay with this one till the end because it has a major league finish. >> it's called beat the freeze. they give the contestant a head start. then watch this guy in the freeze suit. >> this is the greatest thing i've ever seen. watch this. the guy had a head start. look at this guy go. this guy is beautiful. [ applause ] >> jimmy: stay down. it doesn't get better. teams should humiliate their fans more often. i like that. [ laughter ] meanwhile, yesterday was moving day at the white house. almost five months after donald trump moved in, melania and barron have arrived. just what the white house needs. two more terrified white people. [ laughter ] this was the scene at andrews air force base yesterday, where
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after yet another weekend of golf at a trump resort the president picked up his family. they arrived together. trump, melania, and barron. all appears well. and you know, you have to remember, this is a stressful thing. i mean, no one is ever prepared to move into the white house for the first time. [ laughter ] and melania, i guess she just decided to make a break for it. she got halfway to neiman marcus before they -- [ laughter ] [ applause ] secret service rounded her up. so then they put her in the presidential helicopter, and they landed at the white house. and you can see how excited they all are. the only person in this picture who looks happy is the pilot. [ laughter ] barron's got a shirt that says "the expert." which i think means he's being given a cabinet position. [ laughter ] this is so exciting. for the first time ever two 11-year-old boys will be living in the white house. [ laughter ] maybe we'll get to see barron out on the white house lawn having a catch with sean spicer while his dad's inside throwing
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fried chicken legs at jake tapper on tv. [ laughter ] melania's parents are also moving to d.c. this is her dad, victor knauss. you can see she has a type. [ laughter ] [ applause ] when they got married, her dad didn't lose a daughter. he gained a twin. [ laughter ] by the way, if you look closely, you can see he's carrying a copy of "trump" magazine. which isn't even in print anymore. it's been out of print for years. but i guess -- i don't know. when you have your subscription sent to slovenia it takes a while. [ laughter ] so just when you thought donald trump couldn't be more miserable, his in-laws are moving to town. forever. [ laughter ] "forbes" magazine today released their annual list of the highest paid entertainers. donald trump is not on that one, but the highest paid entertainer is -- drum roll. our next president, sean "diddy" combs was the highest paid -- [ laughter ] [ applause ]
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an astonishing $130 million last year. he was number one. beyonce was number two. which makes sense. vodka is more expensive than lemonade. [ laughter ] beyonce is worth $350 million. all of destiny's other children are hoping she adopts them at this point. lebron james was tenth on the list with $86 million. basically, the game tonight was him picking up a little side work. and not only did "forbes" release their list of highest-paid entertainers, they released their list of lowest-paid entertainers too. and topping that list for the eighth straight year, that's right, hollywood boulevard spider-man. [ applause ] so now we go from our highest -- our highest entertainer, snoop dogg. we teamed up with our friend snoop for what has become one of the most beloved nature programs on this or any planet, and with that said it's time for a special all reptile edition of
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"plizzanet earth." >> what up, though? this is big snoop dogg. let's watch some more animals. oh, there we go. little cute little lizard. what the hell is going on? he's being watched. snakes are straight-ass. you can tell the way they're looking at him. they plotting right now. see how they got their necks up? that means they're coming to get him. the lizard don't see what's happening. but one thing about a lizard, i think of geico. if he had geico, he have a 15% chance of making it up out of here. he peeped game right now. he's seen it. you watch -- oh, get out of there, man! go! did you see the feet on him? oh, they coming from everywhere. this is crazy. oh, that's [ bleep ] up. we have just entered into snakeville, usa. there are snakes coming from all angles. as he dips and dashes.
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he makes a getaway, jumps into the arms of a big snake. the twist is on. but they twisting theirself. find it, find the loophole. gone. [ applause ] then you've got to find your way to the top of the mountain. now nephew. he's jumping. he's very well trained in escape tactics, as you can see. oh, [ bleep ]. good move. i like that. i like that. oh, jump. jump. run [ bleep ] run! there you go. get a hold of it. see, snakes can't do all that because they ain't got hands and they ain't got feet. damn. yeah, cuz, i'm up on the top of the mountain with you. remind me of my homeboys when they running from the police. plain getaway, baby. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, snoop dogg. we have to take a break, but when we come back, everything you need to know about our father's day youtube challenge. stick around. we'll be right back.
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♪ >> dicky: abc's "jimmy kimmel live," brought to you by american express open. purchase. let's do this. got it. book the flights! hai! si! si! ya! ya! ya! what does that mean for us? we can get stuff. what's it mean for shipping? ship the goods. you're a go! you got the green light. that means go! oh, yeah. start saying yes to your company's best ideas. we're gonna hit our launch date! (scream) thank you! goodbye! let us help with money and know-how, so you can get business done. american express open.
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so you can get business done. we, the tv loving people, roooooaaar!!! want our whole house to be filled with entertainment. easy boy! but we don't want annual contracts and hardware. you scoundrel! we just want to stream live tv. and we want it for 10 dollars a month. (batman:raspy) wow. i'd like that in my house. it's a very big house. yeah, mine too. look at us. just two bros with sick houses. high five. directv now. a big streaming deal for $10 a month. it's entertainment your way. ♪ it's here! it's here! it's here! ahhhhhhh! ♪
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addiction is a disease. don't suffer. don't wait. help is within reach. call 844 reach nj or go to the road to recovery starts now. [ cheers and applause ] oh, and welcome back to the show. diane keaton, lonzo and lavar ball. and music from phoenix. i want to mention, yesterday i had a fun parenting experience. my daughter jane, who's 2 years old, she'll turn 3 next month, is in a ballet class. every week she goes to this class. she's supposed to be learning -- really what she does is she makes funny faces at herself in the mirror while the other girls are dancing. but she wears a tutu. so we sent her -- which by the way, the only reason parents sign their kids up for ballet has nothing to do with dancing. it's for the tutu. it's to take pictures with the tutu. the tutu is to ballet what bacon is to a blt. [ laughter ] nobody's interested in the
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lettuce and tomato. but anyway, she'd been going to this class for about six months, which eventually of course leads to a recital. so we get the news. we get an e-mail about the recital, which is set for yesterday, sunday. and in my family everyone goes to everything. so my parents come, my in-laws come. my niece and nephew come. everyone. in fact, the only reason the extended family didn't come is because my goddaughter frankie had another recital at the same exact time down in redondo beach. now, ours, this one, was in a mysterious part of the san fernando valley that i'm pretty sure only exists to sell used auto parts. if your car gets stolen, this is where they chop it up. [ laughter ] so we get there. and we have the baby with us because there's nobody to leave him with because everybody is at a recital in our family. we buy the tickets. we get the program, which i immediately look through it to see when -- what order jane's performance is. naturally she is third to last. [ laughter ] great. so we settle in. and now we're sitting there with
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jane watching the other kids dance and jane turns to her mother and says, "i'm not going up there. i'm not going to dance." and my wife said, oh, don't you want to dance with miss kelly? you're wearing your pretty tutu. all the other girls are here. don't you want to dance? and i'm like, "you are dancing." [ laughter ] your grandmother drove an hour and a half to be here. we could have been at the beach all weekend. instead i don't know where we are. but you better dance. [ laughter ] and she turns to me and she goes, "i am not going to dance." [ laughter ] and then i knew we were going to sit there through 35 other dance groups and when it came time for jane's class to dance she would not be dancing with them. and sure enough, we sat there for an hour, they did the big intro of her class, the other girls got on stage, all very cute, and there was jane on the right-hand side of your screen. just as promised, she did not dance. [ laughter ] and then we all got in the car and drove home.
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[ laughter ] and by the way, when she came off stage they gave her a trophy. all the kids got a trophy. and the woman hands it to her and jane looks at her and she's like what is this for? [ laughter ] my wife goes, it's for dancing. she goes, "i didn't dance." [ laughter ] which was true. [ cheers and applause ] she got a participation trophy for not participating. this is why we're falling behind the chinese, people. [ applause ] this is why. meanwhile, someone in california won a lot more than a trophy over the weekend. a powerball ticket was sold for -- it was the tenth biggest lottery prize in u.s. history. the jackpot is $447.8 million. the odds of winning were 1 in 292 million. you'd have a better chance at winning the lottery than winning this lottery. [ laughter ] meanwhile, this from a horse race in new south wales, australia where the winning horse also took home the award for most outstanding name. >> now the big dreamer back to
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the fence and masking lucky scarlet and chastity strikes. the big dreamer on the inside. super charged. horsey mchorseface is coming. horsey mchorseface and the big dreamer. horsey. horsey mchorseface. >> jimmy: that's great. that's maybe the best one. [ cheers and applause ] i don't know how you -- how could you not bet on horsey mchorseface if you had the chance? [ laughter ] sunday in case you don't know is father's day. i mentioned earlier on our primetime show we have a cherished tradition here at this show. we honor the dads of the world with a youtube challenge. we do this every year. and over the years we've been to -- we really subjected dads to all manner of nonsense. one year we had people serve their dads breakfast not in bed but in the shower. >> happy father's day. >> ah! joe! >> jimmy kimmel made me do it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: another year we asked
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people to hop on pop. >> ah! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: a hibernating bear. we even had people spray their dad with his favorite thing, a hose. >> son of a! [ applause ] >> jimmy: that prank ended with prison time. this year we're mixing it up. your mission this year should you choose to accept it is to sneak up on your dad, get real close, and yell "i love you, dad" at the top of your voice. you can do this whenever or wherever you want. just be safe about it. don't maim, kill, or injury your father. record yourself yelling you love him and then upload the video to youtube with the title "hey jimmy kimmel i told my dad i love him," and then keep an eye out for a message from us. we'll put our favorites on the show next week.
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yell it like you mean it, okay? now, go out there and make dad and me proud. [ cheers and applause ] we have a great show for tonight. we have music from a terrific band. phoenix is here with us. lonzo and lavar ball are here with us. and we'll be right back with diane keaton. [ cheers and applause ] ng on it oh, they even paid it off! wow! yeah, it's nice that every bad decision doesn't have to be permanent! now you can ditch verizon but keep your phone. we'll even pay it off when you switch to t-mobile. ♪ and now i'm sure it's more than a stroke of luck ♪ ♪ yeah, i love you, do you love me, too? ♪ ♪ yeah, i love you, do you love me, too? ♪ ♪ clap your hands if it feels good ♪ ♪ clap your hands, ohh
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♪ clap your hands if it feels good ♪ ♪ clap your hands, ooh ♪ feeling tonight, some kinda wonderful ♪ ♪ feeling inside, some kinda wonderful ♪ "america" by simon and is that good?strumental) yeah it's perfect. bees! bees! go! go! go! [ girl catching her breath } [ bees buzzing inside vehicle ] the all-new volkswagen atlas. with easy-access 3rd row. life's as big as you make it. only tylenol® rapid release gels have laser drilled holes. they release medicine fast, for fast pain relief. tylenol®
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every night i'll stand up here and chat with the audience and then i turn around and someone, i still don't know who, has put a couch and a desk here behind me. so we might as well use it. using artificial tears often and still have dry eye symptoms? ready for some relief? xiidra is the first and only eye drop approved for both the signs and symptoms of dry eye. one drop in each eye, twice a day. common side effects include eye irritation,
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi there. welcome back to the show. tonight one of them is a top prospect in the nba draft. the other is his father slash hype man. lonzo and lavar ball are with us. lonzo's 19 years old. i've got to tell you, i remember when i was that age and i used to do talk shows with my dad. it was a special time. [ laughter ] and then all the way from france, their latest album is called "ti amo," phoenix from the mercedes-benz outdoor stage. [ cheers and applause ] you can see phoenix live on thursday just up the street at the hollywood bowl here in l.a. i have seen them there and they are great, one of the best shows
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i've ever seen there. we have new shows for you all week next week. this week rather. with jamie foxx, andy samberg, jillian bell, and music from 2 chainz featuring trey songz and ty dolla sign too. please join us for all that. or first guest tonight is such a wonderful person and talent woody allen flew to los angeles just to pay tribute to her this week. she is an oscar and golden globe winner who is honored with the afi life achievement award. a tribute to diane keaton, it premieres thursday night on tnt. please welcome diane keaton. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
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welcome, diane. >> i'm going to sit down, okay? >> jimmy: yeah, sit down. what the heck? >> you know, i have something -- i want to ask you a couple questions. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> yeah. i just want to ask you a few questions. this is very important for me. >> jimmy: you've written questions. >> i did. i did. >> jimmy: okay. >> here's what i want to know. >> jimmy: okay. >> is matt damon going to be on the show tonight? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i make a good effort to work him into the show. >> is he going to come tonight, though? >> jimmy: he is backstage waiting. and if we have time for him -- >> i didn't see him. >> jimmy: oh, you didn't see him. he's not in the same area with the real celebrities. [ laughter ] he's in a special containment cell, if you will. >> i see. the other thing i wanted to ask was when i walked in tonight i noticed there was a bar atmosphere. >> jimmy: yes, there is a bar atmosphere. >> isn't that a little sleazy? [ laughter ] i've been on these shows before. there's like a drinking going on. i feel a little better myself if
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i brought out -- >> jimmy: did you steal alcohol? oh, you have your own wine. [ cheers and applause ] wow. >> do you mind if i have a little? >> jimmy: i don't mind at all, no. [ applause ] >> that's it. i feel better. this is my next question. >> jimmy: wow. >> jimmy, don't interrupt me. >> jimmy: i won't. [ laughter ] >> so here's what happened -- >> jimmy: must serve on ice. really? >> that's for me. you can't have it. that's special for me because, you know. >> jimmy: okay. >> okay. so listen, i asked you to speak. do you remember? at my afi awards ceremony. and i called you myself but you didn't return my call. and it made me feel very bad inside my heart. >> jimmy: no, that's not true. >> because i have a heart. and your representatives -- no, i'm serious. >> jimmy: no. >> this is not okay. your representatives told me that you were doing a dog voice-over for -- of a basset hound. >> jimmy: oh, all right. [ laughter ] >> no, wait. but it's for a very good cause.
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purina dog food. [ laughter ] and you know, that hurt my feelings. >> jimmy: i'm sorry. >> it offended my heart. like i told i, i have it it, and it hurt them. i have two hearts. >> jimmy: that's not true at all. >> it's true because i read it on your wikipedia. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that i did play a -- >> i checked him out. i know all about him. then i also read that you did a voice-over for a robot chicken? >> jimmy: yeah. a show called "robot chicken." >> what is that? >> jimmy: it was a show on adult swim i think. it was a very funny show. >> it was? >> jimmy: yeah. it wasn't an actual -- >> it wasn't like a chicken? >> jimmy: yeah. it's the name of a show. it was a long time ago. i've been doing so many things since then. [ laughter ] >> oh, you have. i want to say one other thing. and then i'm not going to ask you any more questions. you look good. >> jimmy: thank you. >> did you lose weight? [ laughter ] he does.
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he looks great, doesn't he? >> jimmy: you look great. you don't look good. you look fantastic. >> i'm a woman. >> jimmy: may i ask you a question? >> anything. >> jimmy: i am really dazzled by you in a number of ways. >> he's lying. >> jimmy: no, i'm not lying. >> yeah, you're lying because you lie. >> jimmy: you have no idea how much i watch your movies like a lunatic over and over and over again. i mean, really, like a crazy person. but when i look at you and you're so well put together and this like outfit that you put on. i mean, when i'm not -- a guy hands me clothes and he tells me what to wear. when i'm left to my own devices i don't know what to do. i have no idea what to wear. and i'm not joking at all. and your houses. i've seen the photographs in the magazines. i read that book that you put out. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you have so much style. is that something that you've always -- you were born with or is it something that someone taught you or both of those things? >> i think for me i've always been interested visually. when i was a kid my dad was an engineer. he was a civil engineer.
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so we used to go to the -- you know, the open houses, the model homes in orange county. and i remember seeing them, they were like these incredible like cliff may houses. you know, the california houses. i just remember like how magical it all looked to me. so yeah, i was always interested in visual things. like today, tonight, noticing how great you look. >> jimmy: oh. well, thank you. >> really. i like the suit he's got on. and he looks -- i like that beard too. >> jimmy: that i grew on my own. i did do that on my own. i swear, that was all me. [ laughter ] i even trimmed it myself. >> you look great. it's no joke. is that because of success or something? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no. >> because you are. you're very successful. >> jimmy: thank you. you mentioned the chicken and everything. [ applause ] let's turn the spotlight on you for a moment. you just received what i think is a great honor, right? >> yes, it was.
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>> jimmy: you had all these people who worked with you, who are your friends, who are close to you. >> they've worked with me, yeah. >> jimmy: not all of them are your friends. >> no. because i mean some are important. like meryl streep. that's an important person. >> jimmy: she's important. but is she not your friend, meryl? >> i love her. but i don't know -- i mean, i don't see her very often. she doesn't call. >> jimmy: okay. all right. [ laughter ] >> but i love her. >> jimmy: who else are your friends? >> i'll tell you who else were there. just so you know. >> jimmy: yeah, tell us who was there. >> i'm going to tell you now. well, certainly there was that woman, sarah silverman. >> jimmy: i know her. >> you do? >> jimmy: i do, yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> she was funny. >> jimmy: she was funny. okay, good. >> also i liked her. i thought she was very funny and very attractive. she's a woman, by the way. >> jimmy: i know that. i know that quite well, yes. [ laughter ] >> oh, you do? >> jimmy: yeah. >> okay. >> jimmy: i guess you didn't go too deep in that wikipedia.
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[ laughter ] you got to the -- you skipped the personal life part of it. >> yeah, i kind of did. oh, dear. you'll forgive me, though. >> jimmy: of course i will. >> i'll move on now with me. reese witherspoon was there. that was a nice thing. >> jimmy: not a friend? >> well, you know, reese -- i met reese when she was 14 and i directed her in a tv movie. yeah, i did. >> jimmy: wow. >> she was just 14. a kid. >> jimmy: did you know then she was going to be a star? >> oh, yeah. no question. great-looking. great talent. >> jimmy: and yet still not a friend. [ laughter ] >> no, not a friend. i don't have many friends. >> jimmy: i love this show. this could be a show called "not a friend." where we just go through celebrities that you're not friends with. [ applause ] we're going to take a break. we'll come back with more of diane keaton and her non-friends after this. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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easy boy! but we don't want annual contracts and hardware. you scoundrel! we just want to stream live tv. and we want it for 10 dollars a month. (batman:raspy) wow. i'd like that in my house. it's a very big house. yeah, mine too. look at us. just two bros with sick houses. high five. directv now. a big streaming deal for $10 a month. it's entertainment your way. for all kinds of things... like walking.ewarded hey, honey. dad, where's the car? thought we'd walk. he's counting steps. walk, move and earn money... goal! dad... hey, we wanna welcome everyone to the father daughter dance. look at this dad, he's got some moves!
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women. but there were some men there too. not too many men. >> jimmy: okay. >> unfortunately. i wanted more men to come. >> jimmy: you specifically asked for more men. >> well, i did ask for you. and that happened with a lot of men. but some men came. and that was nice. [ laughter ] i enjoyed that. >> jimmy: some of the men are your former paramours. yes? >> some a long time ago. because now i'm a single woman. >> jimmy: yes. but at one time -- >> but i was never married. nobody ever asked me to marry them. >> jimmy: no one has ever asked you to marry them? >> i don't know why. >> jimmy: really? if i wasn't already married or if i was a fundamentalist mormon i would ask you right now. [ laughter ] if one of those two things were true. >> but would you really? i'm older than you are. >> jimmy: yes, i would. >> you like older women. >> jimmy: no. just you specifically. [ cheers and applause ] >> well, what should we do? i mean, i'm available. >> jimmy: i'm going to let you finish this bottle of wine and see where it takes us. [ cheers and applause ]
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woody allen is your -- >> yeah, woody allen was there. >> jimmy: al pacino, warren beatty. >> warren. >> jimmy: isn't it a lovely thing now that you now have a relationship with them that is such they can come speak with you in public and it's loving and it's not in court? [ laughter ] >> i wondered where you were going. >> jimmy: me too. >> that's a good one. yeah. i mean, of course i never do see them ever. >> jimmy: you don't. >> in the real life. >> jimmy: because you're out here -- >> yeah. i don't really have any friends. >> jimmy: you don't have any friends. >> not one. >> jimmy: we went through the list. what about martin short? is he your friend? >> i do like the martin short. >> jimmy: okay. steve martin, is he your friend? >> oh, yeah. they're all actually friends. they were so wonderful. >> jimmy: they spoke at your event. >> and so was everybody -- >> jimmy: were you shocked to see woody there? because he famously does not come to l.a. very much. >> oh, no. i was totally thrilled. yeah, i was totally shocked. >> jimmy: that was a surprise to you for real? >> well, not really. >> jimmy: not really. [ laughter ] >> i begged him.
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>> jimmy: you did? >> yeah. i called many times. >> jimmy: you wanted him to be there? >> oh, i did want -- >> jimmy: he roasted you i heard. >> he gave me everything. >> jimmy: and vice versa. >> i don't know about vice versa. >> jimmy: you played a very important role in many of his best films. wouldn't you agree? [ cheers and applause ] of course. >> you know, i usually have it with ice. but tonight -- [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we can get you some ice. you keep drinking like that guillermo's going to propose to you. i see him eyeing you over there. [ laughter ] >> are you going to get in trouble for drinking -- >> jimmy: yes. >> is this against the law? >> jimmy: you'll probably be arrested. yes, it is against the law. no, you can smoke pot in california now. it's just wine. >> but here at the show. >> jimmy: we have no rules here. it's a sleazy place.
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you heard that when you walked in. well, it's so great to have you here. i would like you to come back every night. no, don't go yet. the afi lifetime achievement award for diane keaton premieres thursday on tnt. we'll be right back with lonzo and lavar ball! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ (vo) you can pass down a subaru forester. (dad) she's all yours. (vo) but you get to keep the memories. love. it's what makes a subaru, a subaru.
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how yothat's why new downy sprotect and refresh. conditions fibers to lock out odors. so clothing odors don't do the talking for you. lock out odors with new downy protect and refresh. >> jimmy: still to come, music from phoenix. our next guests have made it very clear they intend to establish a family dynasty in the nba, which makes sense. their last name is ball. please welcome lonzo and lavar ball. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ i can't help but feel -- first of all, welcome. but i feel like i'm the principal and you're in trouble. [ laughter ]
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well, how are you guys doing? look at this. you already have ties and sweatshirts and the hat. are there any other products on your body? oh, the shoes. you have the shoes. the controversial shoes that everyone is so angry about, right? yes? >> that's what they -- they angry about it. they don't have to be angry. >> jimmy: i know. nobody needs to be angry. >> no, no, no. >> jimmy: people don't have to buy these things -- >> you don't have to buy them if you don't want them. only buy them if you want them. >> jimmy: exactly. you guys are -- most people who follow basketball know that you are an unbelievably great player. you played at ucla. you are potentially the number two -- we're not shooting for number one at all? we only want to play for the lakers? is that the thing that's going on right now? >> that's kind of where we're trying to head to. >> jimmy: you're trying to go to the lakers. it feels like a good fit for you. is that because the team is here in l.a. or is it just because it's a good fit for you? or is it the lakers' mystique that you love? >> all of it. but the main thing is just being home. i like being home. hometown kid. and they're right here in l.a. where i'm from. >> jimmy: no interest in the clippers? >> they don't really have a chance.
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so no. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you guys are going to be in so much trouble by the end of this interview. [ laughter ] >> we don't get in trouble. we all right. we go our own way. >> jimmy: my son -- i have two sons. one of them is not going to be a basketball player even though he's a big kid. he's already 23 years old. i have a 2-month-old baby. how do i train him to make him a superstar athlete like you have done with your son and your other two sons as well? >> i hate to tell you, but it's going to cost you. you've got to bring him to me for the first six months. then i give them back to you and he'll be easy to train. >> jimmy: how do you train a two-month-old child to become -- >> only one trainer can do that, and that's me. >> jimmy: well, let me ask you this. in addition to basketball training do you do potty training? because that would help. [ laughter ] >> of course. that's included. that's what it starts with. [ laughter ] that's what it starts with. the training. here's the key. don't let them wake you up. you wake them up. >> jimmy: oh. did you ever wake your father up? >> i don't remember. >> jimmy: you don't remember.
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do you get annoyed having your dad around in these situations? i can't even imagine having my dad with me on a show or something like that. >> no, i love him. he's always been there for me. >> jimmy: blink three times if you feel like you want him to go away. [ laughter ] [ applause ] well, i have to say, i know a lot of people get mad but i think it's all funny. i think it's fun. i don't know. you're like stirring everybody up. everybody's getting so mad at you guys. >> here's the thing. we've got a close relationship. >> jimmy: obviously. >> i know what he's about. he knows what i'm about. >> jimmy: what is he about? >> yes. >> just wants the best for his kids. >> jimmy: he wants the best for his kids. and that's great. [ applause ] you have two other brothers. who's the best -- who's going to be in your opinion the best player of the three of you when all is said and done? >> each one of them think
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they're going to be the best. i'll break it down to you. right now lonzo's the best. gelo has the potential to be the best because his body's so big and strong. melo's going to be the best because he gets the most experience. >> jimmy: i see. interesting. do you feel a rivalry, a genuine sibling rivalry to be the best one in your family? >> oh, yeah. i'm going to be the best. >> jimmy: you're going to be the best. >> by far. i don't think it's close. [ applause ] >> jimmy: a lot of people we were talking about the shoes -- i have the shoes. >> uh-oh. give them a drum roll when you bring these shoes out. there you go. >> jimmy: before i bring out the shoes -- >> you don't just bring no ball shoe out, just bring it out. >> jimmy: people are upset because they're $495, right? >> right. >> jimmy: but what those people don't know is they come in this lucite case. >> give me some music or something. ♪ >> jimmy: this case comes with them? >> comes with them. >> jimmy: so really it's like -- you can not only use them for the shoes but if you had a very
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talented hamster or something that likes to do little shows or something you could use that for this. [ laughter ] >> i don't know about that. you've got to tie them shoes down because once you open it they fly. >> jimmy: you know, i'm not going to open it because i don't want to lose them. >> that's what i'm telling you. they're monsters. they're ready to come out. >> jimmy: in your prime you said you could beat michael jordan one on one. >> yes. >> jimmy: is that just -- >> no, you know it's real too. he's too small. he's too little. if you weighing 210 pounds, we're playing one on one, you know i'm undefeated one on one. i don't ever lose one on one. >> jimmy: did you ever play michael jordan? >> if he played me, he would cry. >> jimmy: has there been any talk of you playing him now? >> who'd want to watch two 50-year-olds play now? >> jimmy: i'd want to watch it. [ applause ] would you want to watch it? >> i think it would be fun to watch. >> jimmy: of course you'd want to watch. but you beat michael jordan. i'm not talking about in his prime. i'm talking about now. >> right now? yes. >> jimmy: you could beat michael jordan right now. >> yeah. >> jimmy: your father doesn't think so. >> i don't think so.
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i'm looking at him saying -- you can't be -- >> jimmy: i don't know. i think -- >> he'll beat anybody 50 years old. >> jimmy: i'm almost 50. there's no way you would beat me. no way. just wouldn't happen. >> this is your show. so i won't talk back. >> jimmy: i have a different game, though. i play a game called imaginary basketball where there's no actual ball. we just go like this. and i make it every time. >> you won't miss. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. it's really unbelievable. >> unwhat? >> jimmy: unbelievable i said. >> emphasis on the ball. >> jimmy: oh, on the ballievable. can i give you a little advice? david hasselhoff gets in a situation like that where everything became don't hassle the hoff and this is hofful. and this is whatever. you don't want your name to become one of those things like that. >> no, mine is like that. i said ball at the end. unbelieve-a-ball. >> jimmy: it is unbelievaball you started your own shoe company instead of taking an enormous check from one of the other shoe companies. will you do this with a sports drink?
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will there be a ball juice in our future? [ laughter ] >> yes. [ applause ] there's got to be. get your ball juice and get your ball off. >> jimmy: i hope we can work on this together. i hope it's not just the family included in this empire. because listen, i need help over here. >> we're going to build this ball empire. >> jimmy: you know what? i hope it goes as perfectly as you want it to. i hope it goes as perfectly as you want it to. i hope you wind up a los angeles laker and you get to play here. [ applause ] lavar and lonzo ball. watch the nba draft on june 22nd on espn. and big baller brand shoes are available for preorder now. we'll be right back with phoenix! [ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing.
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>> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing. >> jimmy: thanks to diane keaton. thanks to lonzo and lavar ball. apologies to matt damon. we did run out of time for him. "nightline" is next. but first, this is their album.
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it's called "ti amo." here with the title track, phoenix! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ i don't like it as it is ♪ a disaster scenario ♪ so don't look at what you did ♪ ♪ this melted gelato ♪ love you ti amo je t'aime te quiero ♪ ♪ it's not love but wait ♪ i'll be standing by the jukebox ♪
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♪ champagne or procecco ♪ i was playing classics by the buzzcocks ♪ ♪ battiato and lucio ♪ love you ti amo je t'aime te quiero ♪ ♪ don't tell me, don't tell me no ♪ ♪ don't tell me, don't tell me ♪ no ♪ i said ti amo till we get along ♪ ♪ don't tell me, don't tell me ♪ don't tell me, don't tell me ♪ don't tell me, don't tell me no ♪ ♪ i'll say ti amo till we get along ♪ ♪ you don't mind it as it is ♪ bonanza che bello
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♪ we'll show you how to win ♪ my festival di san remo ♪ love you ti amo je t'aime te quiero ♪ ♪ it's not over yet ♪ now i'm looking like the bad cop ♪ ♪ sunbathing in rio ♪ sophisticated soft rock ♪ love you ti amo je t'aime te quiero ♪ ♪ ♪ don't tell me, don't tell me ♪ don't tell me, don't tell me ♪ don't tell me, don't tell me ♪ no
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♪ i'll say ti amo till we get along ♪ ♪ don't tell me, don't tell me no ♪ ♪ don't tell me, don't tell me no ♪ ♪ don't tell me, don't tell me no ♪ ♪ i say ti amo till we get along ♪ ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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this is "nightline." >> tonight, diplomacy with a dictator. after the funeral of otto warmbier, an american detained by north korea, we're with an unlikely and unofficial envoy to the brutal regime. >> i'm going over there out of the kindness of my heart just to try to help. what'd i do that's so bad? >> did the former nba star play a role in his release? and a chilling warning from a fellow traveler. >> two guards took him away, and that was the last time anyone saw him. plus can't stop, won't stop, a bad boy story. the man whose record label released "mo money mo problems" has become the most successful hip-hop entrepreneur in history. now diddy's speaking out about his meteoric rise.


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