tv Late Night With Seth Meyers NBC March 4, 2016 12:38am-1:38am EST
republican nomination. and in a related story, a japanese soldier fired his rifle at godzilla. [ laughter ] that's not enough to stop him. mitt romney gave a speech at the university of utah this morning, critical of donald trump. and in it, he said trump's promises are as worthless as the degree from trump university. then romney dropped the mic and it broke his toe. [ laughter ] ben carson sat out tonight's 11th republican debate and kind of the first ten. [ laughter ] chris christie was asked today about his vacant expression during donald trump's super tuesday victory speech, and told reporters, "i wasn't anything other than happy." well, if that expression means you are happy, then my wife was thrilled when i forgot her birthday. [ laughter ]
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[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back to "late night" everybody. please give it up for the 8g band over there. [ cheers and applause ] also, he's been sitting in all week on drums, from the black keys, patrick carney is with us. [ cheers and applause ] it has been an honor, patrick. please come back anytime. now, do you guys know what a casserole is? a casserole is a meal where you throw a bunch of different kinds of foods in a dish and you sort of cook it up. and what you get is what you get. the reason i bring this up is we here at "late night", we come up with tons of different ideas all the time for the show. and many of them aren't quite enough to be a full sketch, a full meal, if you will. so instead of just discarding all those ideas we thought we'd throw them together, casserole
night casserole." [ applause ] >> seth: all right, first up, one of our writers thought instead of showing celebrities caught without their make up, it would be funny to show celebrities caught with their make up. in a segment cleverly titled, "celebrities caught with their make up." okay, let's check out the first celebrity. looks like we caught this hollywood star wearing make up. uh-oh. [ light laughter ] that was celebrities caught with their make up. [ applause ] not enough for a full sketch, but a fine, a fine piece of writing. [ light laughter ] have you heard of gaydar? great. well, gaydar is when an individual is able to look at a person and know if they are gay or not. so, here's the premise, what if american supreme court justice ruth bader ginsburg had really
popular new "late night" character, ruth gaydar ginsburg. [ light laughter ] gay. [ light laughter ] or not gay? not gay. [ light laughter ] gay. gay, gay, gay. [ light laughter ] all right. there's something there. there's something there. that might be better than casserole. [ applause ] all right. you guys heard of the word a day calendars? who's got one? great. okay. [ light laughter ] one of my writers comes to me and says what would it be like instead of a word a day if it was a sound a day calendar. it's a calendar where instead of learning new words you get to learn new sounds. [ light laughter ] let's take a look or rather a listen. [ glass shatters ]
let's try another one. [ thump ] that was a tub of potato salad hitting the floor. [ light laughter ] see what's up next. [ creak ] [ moo ] you got it, a tree falling on to a cow. [ laughter ] you know what? we don't have time for this. let's rip through a bunch of them. [ motor revving ] [ horn ] [ pop ] [ cartoon boing ] [ cartoon twang ] [ cartoon bounce ] what are these? they're all the same. [ cartoon spring ] very well made. [ sharp whistle ] [ cartoon buzz ] [ cartoon stretch ] [ pie splat ] [ cartoon whiplash ] all right, that's way too many of these. [ moo ] we heard that one. all right, let's just do one more. [ wailing ] that's the sound of americans on the day of trump's inauguration.
pretty good casserole here you guys. you guys been paying attention to the debates? great. real quick, just because i didn't feel like it. how many of you had a word a day calendar? great. okay. so. [ light laughter ] if you were watching the presidential debates, what happens before every presidential debate the candidates, they get a tour of the stage. it's explained to them how the candidates are going to work. and they often show -- the networks often show that footage without the sound. so you can't hear what they are actually saying. well our writers are the best writers. [ light laughter ] have dubbed over the clips with the dialog they imagine is being said. let's take a look. we'll start with john kasich. >> now, governor this is your podium. you'll be standing behind it. there will be people over there, audience members, they're in the audience. also the people to your left. my left and your left. and then you'll talk to those people during the debates other candidates will talk to people
yeah, they're in the center. >> did you tell him about the center? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: that's good. you know what? that's so good, let's take a look at one with jeb bush. >> okay, governor, so, what we have here -- what? >> is this water down here? [ laughter ] love water. water is funny. >> me too. >> everybody drinks it. everybody drinks water. [ light laughter ] >> that's true. that's true. >> should i use that as a joke in the debate? i think it might kill. >> uh, governor, i'm not sure -- >> pick it up and go -- ah, this is why i'm losing. >> seth: very nice. [ applause ] very nice. all right. that goes right into the casserole. all right. no idea. i cannot stress, no idea is too strange for "late night casserole" and that will become abundantly clear when you see our next and final piece. one of our writers, conner o'malley, he's a big fan of charlie rose, big fan.
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>> carson: well, hello there. i'm carson daly and you have tuned into "last call" from sky room. tonight, day wave debuts from teragram ballroom. and we "spotlight" the creators of the new animated series, "animals." but first, mary elizabeth winstead is one of the busiest actresses working today. she's here tonight to shine a light on one of the most highly-anticipated new films of the season, "10 cloverfield lane." from bar marmont, here she is now. >> you know, i've been doing this so long that it's like some years it feels like people are years it feels like people are you are." i mean, i guess, you know, i've played a cult leader, an alcoholic, a preppy school girl, a -- basically a werewolf. [ laughter ] >> "basically a werewolf." >> basically. whole new person. that's all you gotta do. my name's