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tv   Late Night With Seth Meyers  NBC  March 17, 2016 12:38am-1:38am EDT

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[ laughter ] hillary clinton won yesterday's primaries in florida, illinois, north carolina and ohio. and you can tell she's feeling confident, because she gave her victory speech from the oval office. [ laughter ] he just went about his work in the back. he's a good guy. john kasich said in his victory speech last night that if you can't win ohio, you can't be president. because nobody knows winners like ohio. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] president obama announced today that he is nominating washington, d.c. circuit court judge merrick garland to the supreme court. "i can't win anything this week," screamed jojo from "the bachelor." [ laughter ] today president barack obama nominated judge merrick garland to be the nation's 113th supreme court justice. a lot of you out there probably don't know much about judge garland, so to help you out, it's time for a segment called "getting to know judge
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>> seth: he's currently the chief judge of the u.s. court of appeals in the district of columbia. he graduated as valedictorian from harvard university. he was born in chicago, illinois. those are some pretty generic facts, but we dug even deeper and found several more interesting things about him. he's fully licensed to own and operate a gavel. merrick is short for america. [ laughter ] he remoistens his eyeballs regularly through a process called blinking. he once attended law school. his friends describe him as judgmental. an easy way to remember his name is to think of a delicious eric. mmm, eric! [ light laughter ] he was also nominated by his wife to take out the garbage. and finally, he puts his robe on one leg at a time. this has been "getting to know judge merrick garland." [ cheers and applause ] bernie sanders picked up his fourth union endorsement this
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transit union. meanwhile, donald trump has yet to pick up any union endorsements, but does have several from the confederacy. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] officials in london have been strapping mini-backpacks with air quality sensors on pigeons to monitor pollution levels. isn't that pretty much the definition of "if you see something, say something?" um, yeah, hi, i just saw a pigeon wearing a backpack? over both wings, what do you mean? how else would he do it? president obama has unveiled his full march madness bracket. not to be outdone, donald trump has also released his bracket. [ laughter ] and finally, barry bonds reportedly showed up to miami marlins spring training today and beat the entire team at a home run contest, despite being 51 years-old, begging the
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taking steroids, barry? ladies and gentlemen, we have a great show for you tonight. [ cheers and applause ] he is an old friend and star of "10 cloverfiend lane," the fantastic john goodman is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] she is a talented harpist and incredible musician, also a dear friend of mine. tonight she's going to perform "a pin-light bent" from her album "divers," and then chat with us, joanna newsom is on the show tonight. [ cheers and applause ] i want to talk about something very exciting i got to do at the end of last week. the charity, a wonderful charity called cycle for survival that i've been involved with for years. it raises money for rare cancer, research and conjunction with some wonderful people over at sloan-kettering. and i'm very excited about this, because i got to go to the empire state building and we got to light the empire state building orange, which is the color i should say of the charity, and here's what it ended up like.
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which is beautiful, and here i am pulling the switch. and i got to be honest, i don't look like a guy who's ever flipped a switch before. [ laughter ] and i want to give a note to the good people at the empire state building. i feel like if it started up and you pulled it down, that would be better than this move that i had to do. [ laughter ] i don't even look like a guy who's seen lights go on before, i'm like, "oooooh!" but let me tell you something, when you flip a switch and then this happens, you pretty much walk around the rest of the day with a serious god complex. [ laughter ] i light the city. so you can still go to www.cycleforsurvival.org. it's a fantastic information. you can get information there, and that information is fantastic. it's a fantastic organization, also, there's information. sometimes you can flip those make sense any more. [ cheers and applause ]
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everybody. donald trump won big in last night's republican primaries, but the results leave open the possibility that even if he finishes with the most votes, he may not get the number of delegates needed to clinch the nomination, leading to a chaotic convention in july that could tear apart the republican party. for more on this, it's time for "a closer look." [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: last night's primaries were billed by the media as "super tuesday part two." also known as "two super tuesday," "28 states later" or "marco and ted's bogus journey." [ laughter ] here's some of the titles they rejected. "marco rubio and the last crusade," "the hunt for orange november" and my personal favorite, "kasich instinct." [ laughter ] after his losses last night, a subdued marco rubio addressed his supporters, which was out of character, because normally when rubio loses, he gives a victory speech. here he is in south carolina where he came in second.
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iowa where he came in third. so rubio suspended his campaign last night and in his speech pleaded with gop voters not to be lured in by donald trump's message of anger and division. >> america needs a vibrant conservative movement, but one that's built on principles and ideas, not on fear, not on anger, not on preying on people's frustrations. i ask the american people do not give into the fear. >> seth: do not give into the fear. that doesn't sound like a concession speech, that sounds like the motto for a cross fit studio. [ laughter ] don't give into the fear, larry, this is why karen left you. [ laughter ] there's a lot to miss about marco rubio. the robotic repetition of scripted lines, hitting small children with footballs. [ laughter ] and most of all, his famous cute boots. >> those the boots. they're black, they're shiny. looks like they're -- maybe has a side zipper. >> senator rubio was wearing a boot yesterday that had a bit of a heel to it. and they called it -- >> platform. yeah, something like that. >> oh, my god, look at that. >> no, no, no, no, no.
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>> it's a boot. >> no, no. >> seth: that's right. rubio wanted to send troops to iraq and syria, but the only boots on the ground that ever got him in trouble were a sassy pair from florsheim. [ laughter ] so trump romped some major victories last night, but even so, the results leave open the possibility that he still might not win an outright majority of delegates, which could lead to what's called a brokered convention in cleveland in july. a contested convention could give the gop a chance to block trump from winning the nomination, but it could also result in all-out chaos. >> right now the possibility of a brokered convention i say right now, is about 50/50. and if that happens, then you know, basically, all hell is going to break loose. >> one of them said if they take the nomination away from us, we're going to burn the place down. >> even if he gets to the convention without the magic number but he gets close to it, and the gop activist base sees the establishment is trying to bring him down, cleveland will burn. cleveland will burn. >> seth: first of all, put aside all politics for a second.
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cleveland take? [ laughter ] they just got rid of johnny manziel, now this? those poor people don't deserve this much suffering. i mean, they should consider moving the republican convention to a city that's used to chaos, like chicago, los angeles or boston. boston lights [ bleep ] on fire when they win. [ laughter ] some poor kid in cleveland is going to wake up, see a fire and think the browns won the super bowl. it's not fair. in fact, the city of cleveland is so concerned about chaos at the gop convention, police are reportedly seeking to buy 2,000 sets of riot gear, including long sleeved jackets, gloves and shin guards that would be suitable for use by police riding bicycles. [ laughter ] and let's all just spare a thought for those brave officers who will have to fend off angry crowds of trump supporters on bicycles. [ laughter ] everybody quiet down! don't make me ring this bell! ding, ding, ding, ding, ding! don't take my flag, man! [ laughter ] nonetheless, republican elites are seriously considering a plan
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mass chaos at the convention. on the other hand, they're facing a prospect of a backlash from voters opposed to trump. according to exit polls of gop voters last night, 39% said theyriy t candidatnd hla reheins d cruciwi esohlo e geneeltion io and f i nninhe bacheho upthntasy iotppen [ hter tha n' apeont happug so if rebl t hoto sinatn rumpthquon bom who ty handt ? wh's t cruz, whose haabnt, d toh, n himeas alth iyo t judge amouf cotihat came dowat his ctoreewo whe mth ctoat rmart. netate.ht ast te
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op it al d weth e. dosaome eendpp stl, atrfa veulbe, insen styl, caka h s ain s stfolknohis jcr h this ny. geh-man.ok, is o iali t. et ijoicome mpns [ ht >> oh, this is bad. this is really b. you work and you slave and you steal just enough for a sweet look at that shiny brass ring. don't i get a lick? doesn't gil get a lick? [ laughter ] >> seth: now, compare kasich's victory speech to trump's, which was held in his private club in mar-a-lago, florida, where he hosted members decked out in ball gowns and diamonds. and where trump keeps, and this is real, this portrait of himself. [ laughter ] that's what he thinks he looks
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also you can't tell, but he's propping his foot up on chris christie. [ laughter ] "can i come up now? is the painting done?" "i'll let you know when the painting's done." [ laughter and applause ] the republican party is at a major crossroads, here. and in the next few months, we could very well see one of our two major political parties ripped apart by internal divisions. trump himself weighed in today on cnn. asked what would happen if he was denied the nomination at the convention, he issued what many perceived as a threat. >> i don't think you can say that we don't get it automatically. i think it would be -- i think you'd have riots. i think you'd have riots. i think bad things would happen, i really do. i believe that. i wouldn't lead it, but i think bad things would happen. >> seth: that's donald trump participating in the new jersey tradition of couching a threat as a prediction. [ laughter ] if you don't pay your protection money, there could be a fire. i don't know. it wouldn't be me, but there could be a fire. this has been "a closer look." [ cheers and applause ] we'll be right back with more "late night."
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[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back to late night, everybody, our first guest tonight is an emmy award-winning actor who starred in films such as, "the big lebowski," "argo," and "the artist." his latest work, "10 cloverfield lane" is in theaters now. let's ta look. his isivate, o limiless i give exprs peon. go aad >> b don't need to. youill, thoug ve g pace e thin out, splse. >> ipriv ou're ome tose the curtai >> can'th you ding e. and can't tot t bus pldown, s for my own safet i'm me p, ju etomo
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[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: my thanks to john goodman, joanna newsom, everybody, matt cameron, the 8g band. stay tuned for carson daly,
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>> carson: and good evening everybody. you're looking at the skylark here in new york city. lovely place, and it's gonna make our home tonight for "last call." i'm carson daly, thanks r being here. on the show tonight, nothing but thieves is gonna perform from the troubadour and actress emeraude toubia gets our spotlight treatment. but we'll start things off with former "soprano" star michael imperiouli who swings by "last call" to talk about his new show "mad dogs." from surly goat, have a look. >> i have some skills in the kitchen. i worked in the restaurant business for a lot of years. even after "goodfellas" i was
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business, so, you know, people recognize you from this movie and now you're waiting on them. that becomes even more difficult in a way than waiting on tables waiting to be in movies. never mess around with people who are serving you food. and i tell people that all the time when they go out to dinner and they start complaining, getting nasty, i said don't mess, don't mess with people who serve you food. they have all the power. i've seen some things. this is michael imperiouli, i'm in the new show "mad dogs" on amazon prime. >> "mad dogs" is -- i liken it to the "hangover" meets "deliverance" without the non-consensual sodomy. these four college buddies go

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