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tv   The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon  NBC  November 26, 2016 12:05am-1:08am EST

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they're in a hurry. crewmen boylen and white-- frequently late for their duty shifts. ah. speaking of late, i'll make a deal with you. i'll explain to sam why her daughter's two hours late for bedtime if you start on the survey report. acceptable. have fun. orry. the survey took longer than expected. lucky our deuterium shortage is no longer an issue. a wormhole. kim: the wormhole. it leads all the way back to earth. the odds of finding such a phenomenon are infinitesimal. never bet against the house. what are you doing? looking for anomalous readings. you will find none. he's right-- no subspatial contortions
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we sent in has already picked up faint signals from the other side. b'elanna's still downloading them but she's pretty sure they're from starfleet. this wormhole is only 300 million kilometers away. long-range scans should've detected it days ago. perhaps it was an oversight on your part. if it'll make you feel better, run a diagnostic. in the meantime, let's maintain course. ( door beeping ) come in. i've completed my diagnostic. sensors are operating at peak efficiency. on the contrary... then there's nothing to worry about. the wormhole's neutrino levels are extremely erratic. i thought so, too... until i received this. it turns out those faint signals we detected were communiques from starfleet.
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starfleet may be in error. we should run further scans. no time. the wormhole might destabilize. the doctor often instructs me "to look before i leap." it is an antiquated adage but i believe it is relevant. i have another one for you: "he who hesitates is lost." captain... we're avoiding the issue, seven. you're still feeling uncomfortable about returning to the alpha quadrant. it's nothing to be ashamed of. trust me. you're going to thrive on earth yes? ( door beeping ) letter number two. i'm getting jealous. mark. apparently his engagement was broken off. how about you? any news? a full pardon and reinstatement to starfleet. i've even been offered a professorship in anthropology at the academy. oh, chakotay, congratulations but it's not fair.
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out you? you'll do fine. computer, access all log entries recorded by captain janeway on stardate 52542. access to those files is restricted. access granted. play first log entry. captain's log, stardate 52542.3. long-range sensors have identified a wormhole leading to the alpha quadrant. unfortunately, secondary scans have revealed that it's some kind of elaborate deception. the question is who's attempting to deceive us and why?
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ay next log entry. captain's log, supplemental. we've begun to receive faint telemetry from our probe. i don't want to get the crew's hopes up but b'elanna thinks it may be a message from starfleet. i'm beginning to wonder if my earlier skepticism was justified. ( beeping ) play next log entry. captain's log, supplemental. i've set a course for the wormhole. with any luck, we should be back in the alpha quadrant annika! annika hansen! there is no one here by that name. are you sure? because i have a letter here addressed to her. i never realized you knew anyone from the alpha quadrant. i don't. well, it looks like someone knows you. who's it from?
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she claims to be a sister of my father. your aunt. she is looking forward to meeting me. that's great! starfleet's appointed me ambassador to the lan'tuan sector. ambassador? i guess they thought i'd have a flair for quadrupeds. ensign, i require a moment of your time. sure. have you noticed anything unusual about the crew's behavior since we returned? like...? when i presented the captain with evidence that the wormhole may not be what it appears to be she seemed unconcerned. really? that doesn't sound like her. i believe the crew is being deceived by false telemetry as well as overly-optimistic correspondence.
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. no doubt containing good news. oh, i'll say. an old buddy of mine offered me a spot at the new test flight center in australia. beautiful beaches a chance to pilot the latest experimental ships. i can't believe it. then you doubt the veracity of the letters. are you kidding? i've already written back and accepted the job. computer, activate the e.m.h. please state the nature of the medical emergency. the wormhole is not what it appears to be. i believe that... hold on. wormhole? you weren't informed. not a peep. considering everyone's recent behavior that's not surprising. since the discovery of this wormhole the crew has ignored obvious signs that it's a deception. you must determine if there is a physiological explanation. chakotay: seven of nine to the bridge. on my way.
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that should allow me to run the necessary diagnostics. we've just entered visual range. i thought you'd like to take a look. we're starting to get images from the other side. there is considerable interference. i think i can help clear it up. try it now. how long until we reach the wormhole? 53 minutes. maintain course. chakotay: all hands, this is the bridge. secure all systems.
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computer, perform a gravimetric scan of the wormhole's interior. spatial gradient. the anomaly is consistent with a class one wormhole. no irregularities detected. recalibrate sensors and try again. no irregularities detected. isolate grid 9-2-5 and magnify. computer, is that a vessel in grid 91? no vessel has been detected.
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respond. alien vessel... who are you? seven of nine, federation starship voyager. our ship is on an intercept course 3.4 light-years from your position. turn around. you're being deceived. how? he knows what you want. mputer, identify the cause of the power failure. ( door opens ) tuvok: captain's orders. power from astrometrics has been rerouted to the navigational array at least until we've completed our journey through the wormhole. i've made contact with a vessel inside the anomaly. starfleet? alien. the pilot attempted to warn us away.
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aid we were being deceived that the wormhole is not what it appears to be. the preponderance of data suggests otherwise. the data is flawed. as is your reasoning. may i ask you a personal question? are you looking forward to seeing your wife and family? indeed. and is that desire stronger than you expected it to be? your point? i believe you are being manipulated. otherwise, you would be willing to listen to my concerns. access to the astrometrics lab is restricted until further notice.
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( soft clattering ) ( louder clattering ) naomi wildman. your presence here is unauthorized. state your intentions. i'm... hiding. from whom? everyone. they're all acting strange. even mom. elaborate. she keeps smiling all the time, talking about earth like it's the greatest place in the universe.
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voyager's my home. if we go to earth, i'll have to leave the ship. i'd miss my room, neelix... you and i wouldn't be able to play kadis-kot anymore. curious. you and i appear to be the only ones not affected. affected by what? i am not certain. stay here until i return. computer, activate e.m.h. please state the nature of the medical emergency. where's the doctor? off-line. why? starfleet orders-- something about the wormhole interfering with the holographic systems. they didn't want to damage his program. he must be reactivated. no can do. not until we're on the other side.
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f handling almost any medical problem you might have. i was just coming to see you. why? i'm afraid i have some troubling news. evidently, our wormhole passes through a layer of subspace monitored by the borg. starfleet's concerned that your neural transceiver tract some unwanted attention. we need to deactivate your implants. you should not attempt to do so without the doctor's supervision. unfortunately, he's off-line. then the procedure is inadvisable. try to relax. we're only going to keep you in stasis until we've reached the alpha quadrant. i realize the prospect of returning to earth is frightening to you. it's perfectly natural for you to resist the unknown but you're in good hands.
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janeway: what's our distance, tom? 2000 kilometers and closing. no more hirogen hunting parties, malon garbage scows. by this time tomorrow it'll be cardassians, romulans, ferengi... chakotay to the bridge. go ahead. i've spoken to seven of nine. we're putting her into stasis. make it fast. we don't want the borg to crash our welcome home party.
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how long will i remain inactive? a couple of hours to be on the safe side. security alert! naomi wildman. security's on their way, chakotay. what happened? d some kind of borg force field. try to disable it. chakotay: naomi... go back to your quarters. pay attention to me. if this indicator begins to flash enter the following series of commands. watch carefully. naomi... do you understand? yes. naomi... i'm giving you a direct order.
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she's blocking my commands. keep trying. computer, lock onto my coordinates and initiate a site-to-site transport. main engineering. seven? i'm sorry. we've got phaser fire in engineering. janeway to security. computer, erect a level ten force field around engineering.
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seven's tapping into the engine manifold. she's trying to shut down impulse drive. bridge... she has erected another force field. it will require several minutes to deactivate it. where is she exactly? engineering console 16 beta. captain? seven's going into stasis whether she likes it or not. she's down, captain. paris: captain... we're at the threshold.
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report. it's just spatial turbulence.
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seven, wake up. seven of nine. wake up. ( groaning ) field. you are damaged. it's just a scrape. the crew?
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our hull is demomocularizing. do wormholes do that? no... they don't. return to your quarters while i assess the s suation. but i can help. my mom says two heads are better than one. isn't that the borg philosophy, too? simplistic, but accurate. please... i don't want to be alone. neelix! oh, neelix.
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neelix. we must keep moving. naomi wildman. we will return for him. no. so, where are we? i have restored partial systems. bioplasmic discharges a vast network of n nral pathways.
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ararst i've seen-- over 2,000 kilometers in diameter. what are you doing? my e elier scans revealed a vessel. i'm trying to find it again. somebody else is stuck here? possibly. there. it's heavily damaged, but still functioning. alien vessel, respond. this is the starship voyager. please respond. i told you to stay away. why didn't you listen? our crew believed they were returning to their homes. everythingngthey've ? yes. he deceived them. "he"? i believe we should workrkogether to escape this anomaly. lower your shields and i'll beam you aboard. shields are the onon thing holding my ship together. i'd be destroyed.
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you won't fool me that easily. i assure you we are not a deception. oh, how convenient. an enormous starship comes to my rescue. you might try a more subtle approach. my scans indicate that yououshields will fail in approximately 15 minutes. join us, or you can remain on your vessel secure in the knowledge that you were not deceived but that knowledge w wl do you little good when you are dead. decide now. all right. all right!
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ow! you look real enough, but over the years he's made me believe in many things that are real-- a fortune at my fingertips risen from the dead. you're referring to the anomaly we've entered. "anomaly"? it's a beast. cunnnng, deadly. what does it want? you... your ship... antimatter, biomatter. he consumes it. everyone believed it was a wormhole.
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he senses your thoughts, your d dires and then he preys on them. like a pitcher plant. pitcher plant? the doctor taught me about itt. it catches insects by making pheromones. yes, you're right but this one doesn't eat insects. he eats starships. you are familiar with this life-form? r nearly 40 years. and have you become impervious to its telepathy? almost, but there are days when he can still trick me. like yesterday. i thought i had found a way to kill him once and for all. i'd allow him to begin consuming my ship and then i'd fly directly to his most vulnerable s stem--
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i'd destroy him from the inside out. but he knew. he showed me whatat wanted to see. i was nowhere near his neural plexus. i was flying directly into his digestion chamber. and speaking of digestion... how dodoe get out of the monster? not a monster. it's a bioplasmic organism, and we will find a way out. qatai: no. the girl's right. he's a monster
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please state the nature of the medical emergency. qatai: your ship is b bng devoured. i'd say that's an emergency. ate his ship, too. "monster"? i want to see your weapons manifest. "weapons"? this is a sick bay, not an arsenal. what's going on? voyager has been lured into the digestive chamber of a bioplasmic organism. we require your assistance in charting an escape route. slow down. the last thing i remember i was speaking to mr. paris. he said the wormhole posed a threat to my program. qatai: the beast has been manipulating your crew.
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and d o might you be? the local monster expert? as a matter of fact i am. he's been fooling you for days, creating false sensor readings and he's been alteringng y- a little neurogenic telepathy to make them lower their guard. that might explain the heightened dopamine levels i found during my "routine examinations" of the crew. have you informed the captain? she's asleep. asleep? it's our proximity to the creature. the neurogenic field is stronger here. it's rendered most of the crew unconscious. does your vessel's database contain information on the creature's anatomy? of course. retrieve it. in the meantime
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computer, increase neneotransmitter levels by 29%. a cortical inhibitor? i thought it might disrupt the organism's hold on her. it won't. i already trieie a similar procedure. i don't remember asking for a second opinion. ( groans ) it's working. she's regaining consciousness. doctor... you're being exposed to a powerful neurogenic field. you've been unconscious for several hours. they're here. who? the maquis. they're alive! b'elanna, you're still on voyager. you're hallucinating. starfleet thinks you've alllleen killed. computer, increase neurotransmitter levels another ten percent. what h hpened? b'elanna, focus on my voice.
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they never want to. it's the silence i hate... the way he takes you without a fight. karo. a crew of nearly 3,000-- families mostly, mine ininuded-- looking for a new world to settle but they came across our friend here and he s swed them what they wanted to see-- a glistening green paradise.
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all that was left of them was soso fading engine emissions. that was 39 years ago. 39 years, two weeks, four days... do you mind? the situation is dismal enough. i'm just trying to explain who we're up against. well, i'm getting a pretty good idea on my own. judging by these bio-scans the organism's been devouring life-forms for a bit longer than 39 years. always survive. i wouldn't go that far. it appears to operate on highly evolved instinct. i haven't detected any signs of sentience. he's intelligent, all right-- smart enough to fool your crew into taking you off-line. hs no need to get personal. ) seven. i'm here.
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qatai: there! this is it! exactly what we need. these class-nine torpedoes in your weapons manifest. if we can bring your vessel deeper into the creature's digestive tract and detonate one of these charges we might be able to destroy it. starfleet's not in theheabit of killing life-forms. even if that life-form is about to kill you? if i could take a few hours to examine the creature more thoroughly... seven: there is no time. we kill him! maybe there's another way. explain. any living organism no matter how large will attempt to expel a foreign body. if we could just make voyayar a little less tasty. my scans indicate that your weapons are tetryon-based. if you were to fire one at a pocket of antimatter released from our warp core, it would produce an electrolytic reaction.
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it might at that. once i've beamed you back to your ship try adjusting your shields to this frequency. you'll find them more resistant to the bioplasmic discharges. you seem to know a little about everything: medicine, exobiology, shield harmonics. i'm something of a renaissance e.m.h. i could use a crewmate like you. the beast would have a difficult time manipulating a hologram's desires. maelelo your ahab? no, thank you. you're turning down ththhunt of a lifetime. as appealing as that sounds i'm a doctor, not t dragon slayer. my program requires that i do no harm.
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qatai's vessel is ready. i've rerouted bridge controls to engineering-- ops, tactical, helm-- all integrated into one station. efficient. i thought you'd lili it. i'm plotting a course for the organism's esophageal aperture. prepare to release the antimamaer. hull integrity's dropped another 13%. doctor. ready on my end. voyager to qatai. prepare to fire. ( loud clattering ) ( alarm blaring ) wait! wait! no. no, no, no, no, no, no. what's wrong? that last jolt must have destabilized my targeting sensor. i could establish an interface to voyager's targeting array.
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ah! ready. initiate the burst on my mark. now. like the taste of that? i'm reading violent contractions gestive chamber. it's working. we're moving back through the esophageal aperture. voyager has been expelled. we're 3.9 kilometers from the organism. after just one burst? for a big fellow also release he certainly has a low tolerance for tummy ache. d.
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n't you ejected a second burst?! we've cleared the organism. you've been deceived! we're bobo still inside it! he's right. i'i'reading bioplasmic energy. i am impervious to the creature's influence. you were impervious when it was creating the illusion of voyager getting home because you didn't share that desire but now we're trying to escape, which is what you want. think about it! he's showing you exactly what you want to see. seven! now. fire.
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we're out. are we certain? no sign of bioplasmic energy. we've escaped. i'm taking us out of range. maximum warp. i'd better see to the crew. well, i'll be on my way. thanks for your help. your engines have taken heavy damage. you require our assistance. no time. the beast is already altering course. i'll handle the repairs myself. the procedure would take several days. don't worry about me. just get your ship home. and watch out for pitcher plants. location? we're still in the delta quadrant. scan the wormhole. find out what went wrong. it's gone. i can't find it on sensors.
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have been routed to engineering-- ops, tacticaca helm-- all of it. bridge to engineering. seven: yes, captain. seven? what's going on? the doctor will explain. i i ll file a complete report in the morning
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captain'n'log, 52542.3: we've deployed a series of beacons to warn other vessels about the bioplasmic creature and resumed a course for home-- our real home. naomi wildman. don't worry. my presence here is authorized. by whom? mom.
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and does studying this image increase your desire to go there? not really. i concur. it is unremarkable. but my mom likes it and even neelix can't wait to get there so i guess it can't be that bad. given this crew's determination to return home i have no doubt we will see it for ourselves someday. ( qatai humming )
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[captioning sponsored by paramount television united paramount network and the kellogg company
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of the end zone-- touchdown! ( laughing ) i'd like to see you make that catch with the gravity plating at earth sea levelel i doubt you could throw the ball ten meters on earth. one more reason not to go. did you find out what was causing that vibration in module two? the cargo handlers at jupiter station-- they didn't balance the load. shaw and i, we, uh... wewerimmed it out. keep an eye on it. ( rumblili )
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ck, sir. it's the nausicacas. drop out of warp, charge plasma cannons... ( rumbling ) ? it's been a long road ? getting from there to here ? i is been a long time ? but my time is finally near ? and i will see my dream come alive at last ? ? i will touch the sky ? and they're not gonna hold me down no more ? ? no, they're not gonna change my mind ? ? 'cause i've got faith of the heart ? ? i'm going where my heart will take me ?
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i can do anything ? i've got strength of the soul ? ? no one's gonna bend or break me ? ? i can reach any star ? i've got faith ?i've got, i've got ? ? i've got faith ? faith of the heart. [captioning sponsored by paramount television
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( beeping continues ) archer. sorry to disturb you, sir but i have an incoming transmission it's admiral forrest. put him through. admiral... good to see you. you, too, john... what i can make out. we're getting ready to deploy the first subspace amplifier.
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those reports coming. the scans of that comet were incredible. something tells me you didn't call at 4:00 in the morning to talk about comets. i hate to do this to you, john, but we're turning you around. sir? we picked up an automated distress signal from a cargo freighter-- the ecs fortunate. the nearest starfleet vessel is three w wks away at its maximum warp but you could be there in a day and a half. what's the problem? we're not sure. they're not responding to hails. i'd like you to check this out give them any assistance they need. we're on our way. forrest out. i think our day's going to start a little early. maximum speed: warp 1.8 the earth cargo ship fortunate. crew complement: 23.3.
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ensign? i grew up on a j-class. a little smaller, but the same basic design. and one thing i can tell you is that at warp 1.8 you've got a lot of time on your hands between popos. that's how my parents wound up with me. do you have any helpful information on this vessel beyond its... recreational activities? for example, what kind of weapons they cacay. well, typically nothing more than a low-yield plasma cannon. but most freight-haulers would've upgraded the first chance they got. you're a dozen light-years from home with 20 kilotons of dilithium ore in your hold armed with nothing but a popgun for shooting oncoming meteors. what would you do? i'm reading hull damage. their warp reactor's off-line and most of their primary systems are down. any other ships in the region?
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fortunate this is captain jonathan archer of the starship enterprise. fortunate, please respond. their com systems may be down. i'm reading 24 bio-signs. have dr. phlox meet us in the launch bay. easy does it. there's a lot of debris out here. some of it doesn't appear to be from the fortunate. on the bright side i'm only picking up inorganic material-- no bodies. main hatch is damaged. no chance we'll get a positive seal.
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permission to come aboard. granted. i'm matthew ryan, first officer. jonathan archer, captain of the enterprise. under better circumstances. what happened here? nausicaans. they trieieto board us. we managed to fight them off but not before we took a few bruises. nausicaans? pirates, sir. they've been attacking freighters in this sector for years. my parents had a run-in with them once. they were lucky to come out of it alive. your parents ran freight? still do. an old j-class-- the horizon.
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oh, we can handle this ourselves, captain but thank you. if you didn't need our help why did you send out a distress call? one of our younger crew members panicked hit the emergency beacon. with our com down, we had no way to tell starfleet to ignore it. where's your captain? he was wounded in the attack. i'm in command until hehe back on his feet. i'm sorry we took valuable time away . ryan, i'm a physician. if your captain or anyone else is hurt it wououn't be right for me to leave without seeing them. mayweather: he's got a lot more experience thananny freighter medic i know. we've come an awfully long way. it would be a shame to turn around without lending a hand. ryan: is he going to die? not any time soon.

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