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tv   The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon  NBC  April 14, 2016 11:34pm-12:37am EDT

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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center in the heart of new york city, it's "the tonight show starring jimmy fallon." tonight, join jimmy and his guests -- hugh laurie, senator ted cruz, mu
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and featuring the legendary roots crew. >> questlove: 455! woo! >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you very much. hello! hello, everybody! welcome. welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome to "the tonight show." this is it. [ cheers and applause ] this is the show. you've made it. thank you so much for being
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tonight was the big democratic debate between hillary clinton and bernie sanders. they discussed important issues such as national security, the economy, and whose supporters are the most annoying on facebook. [ laughter and applause ] the bernie bros. last night, did you see? over 27,000 people attended a a massive rally for bernie sanders in manhattan's washington square park. well technically, 7,000 people showed up for bernie, while 20,000 new yorkers just saw a a line and got in it. [ cheers and applause ] is this for "hamilton?" is this for "hamilton?" i love "hamilton." after donald trump said that the republican primary process is unfair, the rnc chairman responded that trump should have known the rules a year ago. in trump's defense, he didn't expect anyone would fall for this a year ago. [ laughter and applause ] so i mean, that's -- no way -- listen to this, producers for "game of thron"
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that president obama has requested and will receive episodes of the show's new season before it airs on hbo. you know, so he can call up the republicans and spoil it for them. jon snow's alive! bye. let's get to some sports. i want to say congrats to kobe bryant! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ great career. last night, he scored 60 points in his last game before retiring. when asked if they were excited to start getting the ball more often, his teammates said, "oh, he took the ball with him." [ laughter and applause ] why start now? and get this, you see this, the man who played mr. met last season, you know the mascot? he's complaining because he didn't receive a national league championship ring. man, the ball on this guy. [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: he's a nut.
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>> jimmy: steve boldis, the man in the mascot suit is complaining because he didn't receive a national league championship ring. apparently, he's so upset, he started showing up to games without his costume. look at this. yeah. he's just walking around. he's not wearing it. some celebrity news. in a recent interview, kourtney kardashian says that she eats avocado pudding for breakfast. that's when you know the kardashians are out of touch when they don't even know the word for guacamole. [ laughter and applause ] avocado pudding. this is spicy. these french fries need some tomato pudding. [ laughter ] ketchup? ketchup? [ laughter ] avocado pudding. th
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a man took his mother for a a ride in his new self-driving tesla this week, but she got a a little freaked out. he's got it on video. watch this, look. >> oh, there's cars coming! oh! oh, there's cars. ahh. put me back, for me to control it. oh, dear jesus. i could never. ah, ah! oh, where's it going? god damn! [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: what a fun way to get taken out of your mom's will. that's great. [ laughter ] this is interesting here. >> steve: what is it? >> jimmy: let me tell you, it's about new study i just saw. >> steve: okay. >> jimmy: i read a lot. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: and i read this, a a new study. it that finds that attending live concerts reduces your stress. [ cheers ]
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one factor they forgot to consider, the guy right in front of you filming on his ipad. he's like "oh, hey! i can't wait to watch this when i get home! it's almost like i'm there." >> jimmy: finally, this was everywhere today. apparently an aquarium in new zealand says that its octopus, inky, recently escaped and actually made it back to the ocean. they've already made a movie about it. and it sort of reminds me about another movie about an escape. take a look at this trailer. ♪ >> it was just like inky always said. get busy living or get busy swimming. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we have a great show, give it up for the roots right there! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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>> jimmy: hey! welcome, welcome. hot crowd tonight. this is a big -- [ cheers and applause ] it's a fun show we have tonight. fun show planned. some extra fun stuff. hey, guys, quickly. if you know me, you know i like to stay up to date, informed, in the know. that's why i get all my news from topical waffle. it's a new web show that covers everything from music to movies to politics to music. and even to movies and politics. it's a little weird, but that's the way i like it. so if you want to check it out on our youtube page right now, check it out, topical waffle. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: on the waffle iron. >> jimmy: what's that? >> steve: be on the waffle iron. >> jimmy: yeah, you can check out some good sausage links. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: yeah, exactly. it's been a great week so far. there's more ahead. tomorrow night, academy award winner robert de niro will be here! [ cheers and applause ] plus, jesse tyler ferguson and comedian nick guerra. you don't want to miss that, that's tomorrow night.
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but first, we have a fantastic show tonight. he's a terrific actor, starring on the new amc mini series called "the night manager," hugh laurie is here tonight! [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: yeah! love him. >> jimmy: love him. >> steve: he's a delight. >> jimmy: plus, he's one of the front-runners of the republican presidential campaign, senator ted cruz is joining us this evening. [ cheers and applause ] we might do a little something fun with him later. and we've got great music from future, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] oh, yeah! from -- from future. >> steve: this is music from the future? >> jimmy: no, this is -- no, not the -- this is -- it will be. >> steve: yes, when? >> jimmy: we don't know what it will be. >> steve: because it's future. >> jimmy: because it's future. future is here. he's an amazing artist. yes, and he's gonna be here tonight. but, we don't know anything yet. >> steve: because it's future. >> jimmy: the future, yeah. we can't tell the -- >> steve: you can't tell him what's going to go on. >> jimmy: can't tell what's gonna, yeah. he just knows. >> steve: he doesn't kth
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>> jimmy: he doesn't even know. >> steve: he doesn't even know. >> jimmy: yeah, like last week, we had present. >> steve: right, next week, we have past. >> jimmy: no, that was two weeks, we have past. >> steve: oh, you're right. you're right. >> jimmy: that was -- present changed his name. >> steve: yeah. anyways, he's here, he's amazing. future is here. >> steve: yeah! >> jimmy: we love him. [ cheers and applause ] wicked. hit the drum again -- guys, as i mentioned earlier, the democratic debate was tonight, a lot of people are watching, including believe it or not, donald trump. >> steve: really? >> jimmy: yeah, and after it ended, he called up one of the other candidates, and we actually got footage of that phone call. take a look at this. [ cheers and applause ] [ phone ringing ] >> hello? >> jimmy: congratulations, you've just been called by donald trump. [ laughter ] >> hello, donald. what a pleasant surprise.
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[ light laughter ] >> jimmy: are you watching the democratic debate? >> nope. i'm watching "the princess bride" for the 843rd time. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: inconceivable. [ laughter ] well, you're missing some great stuff. they just nailed hillary for flip-flopping on trade. she was going back and forth. this way. that way. this way. that way. it was like watching her swipe a metro card at the subway. [ laughter and applause ] >> okay, donald. well, you know, i've got to run now. >> jimmy: wait, wait. look, i know you're about to be a guest on "the tonight show." i've been on that show many times. so i thought i'd help you out and do a little pre-interview. >> well, that's a very generous offer, donald. i appreciate you being the bigger man. >> jimmy: oh, i'm the bigger man. [ laughter ] with the bigger hands. [ laughter and applause ] and the bigger -- [ laughter and applause
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pointing at my trump tower. [ laughter ] >> i'm really glad not to be on facetime right now. >> jimmy: question one, how did you win all the delegates in colorado without anyone even voting? >> well, donald, last year, the colorado state gop, they voted to cancel their statewide primary and instead to hold district conventions to elect their 34 delegates. we've known this all along, and i won those elections fair and square. >> jimmy: you know what i think? i think the people of colorado did vote, but they were so high, they completely forgot. and let's face it, anyone that high definitely voted for me. so basically, i won colorado. okay, here's another question jimmy might ask. what is your stance on immigration? >> well, donald, first of all, we need to put an end to president obama's amnesty. >> jimmy: wall. [ laughter ] >> and i believe we need to secure the border once and for all.
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[ laughter ] >> and start enforcing the rule of law. >> jimmy: law spelled backwards is wall! huge! [ laughter and applause ] next question, the new york primary is on tuesday. you've already won your home state of canada. now -- [ laughter ] now you're in my home state of new york city. and people are still mad. they're mad at you for saying they have "new york values." what did you mean by that? >> look, donald, i'm not going to pander to new yorkers. i love new york city. it is the greatest city in the world. with the best-looking audiences in the entire world. [ cheers and applause ] so when i said new york values, i was merely trying to say that i value new york. except, i was saying it backwards, the way yoda would say it. [ laughter ]
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i watch her every morning with kathie lee. [ laughter ] it's fantastic. >> well, and they love wining almost as much as you do, donald. >> jimmy: classic, ted. [ laughter ] listen -- while you're here in new york, let me give you some advice. first, if you're on the street, walk fast. no one likes a slow walker. are you writing this down? >> hold on, let me get my pen. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: ted? ted, did you get your pen yet? ted? ted, did you get your pen? >> got it. >> jimmy: last question, why do you think you should be the gop nominee? >> well, listen, from the very beginning, we've run a positive campaign. d
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a while, i firmly believe that we have unified the gop. >> jimmy: so have i, it just so happens that i unified them against me. [ laughter ] but i still unified them. that counts, okay? >> all right, donald, my interview with jimmy fallon is about to start. >> jimmy: are you going to do a a lip-sync battle? >> i certainly hope not. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: well, if you do, people love it. they're fantastic. [ light laughter ] they're huge. if you do a lip-sync battle, i've got the perfect song for you. cue the music. ♪ work work work work work ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> okay, donald, i'm hanging up now. >> jimmy: okay. great. i'll facetime you. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪
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ranking from top to bottom. company of the year? luxury cars just seem like they would be top awarded. better be some awards behind what you are paying for, right. the final answer. chevy. the most awarded car company two years in a row. wow, it's like a luxury car. i was shocked. i mean it's like, this is chevy? for a limited time, get cash back for 15% of the msrp on most remaining 2015 chevy vehicles while they last. find new roads at your local chevy dealer. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. thank you so much. it is time for "tonight show" hashtags, here we go!
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hashtags ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: ah, this is a very fun bit now. you guys are on twitter, right? [ cheers ] well, we use twitter on our show every single week. so if you watch our show and you want to play along, we do this thing every wednesday where i send out a hashtag, and we ask you guys it tweet out things based on that topic. so, since the white house science fair just happened this week, i sent out a hashtag called my genius idea. i asked you guys to tweet out a a funny, clever or useful thing that you'd like to see invented. we got thousands of tweets, within 30 minutes, it was a a trending topic in the u.s., so thank you for those tweets. [ cheers and applause ] that means a lot to me. now i thought i'd share some of my favorites, my genius ideas tweets from you guys. here we go. this first one's from @tedbuddermoffen. >> steve: what?
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>> jimmy: you know ted butter moffen? >> steve: i know that guy, yeah, i went to high school with him. >> jimmy: you went to high school with ted butter moffen? >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: how is he doing? >> steve: not well. not well. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i saw him at the after-party of the reunion, he was toasted. [ laughter ] >> steve: hey-yo! hey! [ applause ] we've got three. >> jimmy: anyway, tedbuddermoffen says -- "i would like to see a chip press that gathers all the crumbs from the bottom of the chip bag and forms into one final chip." [ cheers ] >> steve: yeah, a pringle. >> jimmy: one final. oh, a pringle. yeah, get a a pringle out of it. it's already been invented. this one's from @ten72. he says "a pedometer that plays the bee gees "staying alive" whenever i start walking." [ applause ] ♪ [ as travolta ] >> jimmy: i can't believe this, like -- i can't believe this, like, crazy. come on, it's like -- i've got my fitbit. i've got 20,000 steps over here. it's crazy, right. doto
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[ light laughter ] [ as trump ] don't touch the hair. >> steve: oh, my gosh. it's vinnie barbarino trump, yeah. it's vinnie -- >> jimmy: it's almost the same -- it's almost the same impression, yeah. [ laughter ] this one is from @abitilliterate. >> jimmy: this next one is from @abitilliterate. [ laughter ] he chose this name. >> steve: yeah, he chose that name. we didn't -- we're not judging. we didn't call him that. >> jimmy: he didn't have to tell me. >> steve: he chose that moniker. >> jimmy: he could be like, uh, yeah -- >> steve: could be like shorty or curly, you know, like a bald guy. >> jimmy: short and curly? [ laughter ] what? >> steve: that's ted butter moffen. >> jimmy: short and curly? yeah. [ laughter ] could have chose that. [ cheers and applause ] oh, come on. >> steve: what does a bit illiterate have to say? >> jimmy: he says "he would like to see invented a
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a pneumatic tube like at the bank that sends pizza rolls from the microwave straight into your mouth when you're on the couch." [ cheers and applause ] smart. [ imitates pneumatic tube ] this is good. this is from @williampowell65. he says "our bad, a florist that will deliver flowers for any forgotten occasion the next day and says it's their fault." [ laughter ] >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: genius. >> steve: genius. >> jimmy: genius. >> steve: why don't they do that already? we gave you an upgrade. >> jimmy: this one's from @deannathebrave. she says "a chinese restaurant called 'all that and dim sum.'" [ laughter ] >> steve: oh, yeah. >> jimmy: that's catchy. >> steve: that's good. >> jimmy: that's catchy. >> steve: i like that. >> jimmy: probably is something in that. this one's @mylittlegarrone. >> steve: oh, i love my little grony. >> jimmy: yeah, my little grony. garrone. >> steve: oh, garrone. >> jimmy: not grony. >> steve: oh. i thought it was grony. >> jimmy: no, this is garrone. >> steve: oh, my bad.
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[ laughter ] >> jimmy: this one's from @shortandcurly. [ laughter ] he could have chose any name. >> steve: that's what i chose. that's what i got trademarked, what am i going to do now? too late. i've already printed up a a thousand labels. >> jimmy: you could have picked any name. >> steve: yeah, i know. i -- uh -- >> jimmy: could have picked, oh, i know, short and curly -- i'm glad he didn't choose that one. oh, this one is from -- this is from @mylittlegarrone. she says "a smaller cat for your cat to teach them how annoying it is to own a cat." [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> steve: see? >> jimmy: see, huh? >> steve: why don't you change the litter box? >> jimmy: this one is from @brodobaggnz. he says "my genius idea is to replace kale with literally anything else." [ cheers ]
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>> steve: avocado pudding. more avocado pudding, please. it's extra at chipot-le. >> steve: at chipot-le? >> jimmy: chipot-le. it's french. >> steve: brodo. >> jimmy: this one's from @tamsltw. she says "they need to make an alarm clock that sounds like a a cat vomiting. nothing gets you out of bed faster." [ imitates cat vomiting ] >> jimmy: whiskers! whiskers! whiskers! >> steve: meow! >> jimmy: butter muffin, butter muffin! where are you? butter muffin! butter muffin?! let me help you, butter muffin. i'll give you the heimlich! butter muffin. [ imitates cat vomiting ] butter muffin! butter muffin! don't leave! don't leave me, butter muffin! [ coughs ] [ laughter ] >> steve: meow. [ farting noises ] [ laughter ] [ coughs and farts ] >> steve: meow! >> jimmyme
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come back -- oh, good. butter muffin's alive. [ cheers and applause ] i was scared. >> steve: cat's name's butter muffin? >> jimmy: butter muffin is the name of my grandfather. >> steve: oh, really? how is he? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: this last one here is from @282 astrid. she says "a none of the above option in elections. if that option wins, the election is reheld with all new candidates." right there. that's the "tonight show" hashtags. check out more of our favorites. go to the tonightshow.com/hashtags. we'll be back with hugh laurie, everybody! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] with my moderate to severe ulcerative colitis, the possibility of a flare was almost always on my mind. thinking about what to avoid, where to go... and how to deal with my uc.
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but sierra club chooses jamie raskin for congress they all talk about climate change. because only raskin wrote laws to reduce our carbon footprint and is leading the fight against fracking in maryland. raskin: i'm jamie raskin, and i approve this message. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our first guest won two golden globe awards for his outstandwo
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long-running television show "house." he's now starring in the new six-part spy-thriller mini-series called, "the night manager" which premiers tuesday, april 19th at 10:00 p.m. on amc. please welcome hugh laurie, ladies and gentlemen! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: look at that! you get the love. you get the love! they give you the love here in new york city. they love you. [ cheers and applause ] welcome, welcome, welcome to the show. >> that's beautiful, what lovely people. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. thank you. [ cheers ] i was doing some research on you and i found out this cool thing. your dad -- was an olympian, he was a gold medal winner. >> he was.
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he actually went to the olympics in '36 in berlin. he stood in the stadium with adolf hitler. there were some other people there, too. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] the one who sticks out. >> and he watched jessie owens beat luz long, and you know. >> jimmy: unbelievable. >> and then 1948 the olympics were in london. and he rowed in the coxless pairs, that's the event he rowed in and won the -- [ laughter ] what, sorry? >> jimmy: i won a silver medal in that one, yeah long time -- i don't wanna get into it. different thing, it wasn't the olympics. no. [ laughter ] but what does that mean? >> the olympics? >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] i've heard of them. >> it's an ancient -- the coxless pairs, there are two of you and there is no cox. that would be the origin of the coxless part. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: whatever they wanna do, you know. they have the choice and the
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>> cox being short for coxswain, meaning steer or helms -- stop it. >> jimmy: coxswain. >> stop it. >> jimmy: coxswain was my first movie. not released. went straight to dvd. >> i've got it. >> jimmy: do you have it? i'll sign it for you later. i still have no idea what event this is. [ laughter ] >> there's a -- well, it's primarily a speed event -- >> jimmy: there's two of them? >> there is two of them in a a boat. >> jimmy: yes, men? >> but you knew that from the rowing part. >> jimmy: yes, no! >> they were both men. >> jimmy: oh, it's a rowing event? i don't think we talked about that. >> didn't we touch on that? >> jimmy: no, we didn't at all. [ laughter ] not remotely, i don't think, no. >> now i understand your confusion. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's a rowing event with two men in a boat. >> and a horse. no, there is no horse. [ laughter ] ♪ >> jimmy: that's in my movie. >> right. >> jimmy: spoiler alert. yeah. >> so that's right, so a rowing event.
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facing the wrong way, because that's rowing for you, you face backwards, as it were. and it's called coxsless because there's no coxswain steering the boat. [ applause ] >> jimmy: yes, no, absolutely. we get it. don't google it by the way. don't google it. but so, you've held the medal? i mean, have you seen it? >> yes -- i didn't -- i didn't actually get to see the medal until i was -- i mean, late teens. he never spoke about it. never mentioned it. very, very modest man. >> jimmy: what? >> my dad was a very modest man. >> jimmy: but you win this gold medal in the olympics, you tell everybody. >> he kept it in a sock drawer, never mentioned it. i only discovered because i went fishing with my dad, my mom and dad. i got into the boat, my dad took the oars. i said to my mother, "does he know what he's doing?" and she said, "yes, he does know what he's doing, yeah." >> jimmy: was he funny? were your parents funny? >> yes, they were. they made me laugh a lot.
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you're returning for another season of "veep." >> i am. >> jimmy: and you're very -- i mean, that's -- what a show. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. honestly, no, my contribution -- i go to that show -- honestly i go to that show as a spectator. just to watch that cast. i mean -- >> jimmy: julia louis dreyfuss, tony hale, they're great. >> she's a genius. and i would pay -- i don't, but i would pay to watch her do that every, you know. it's the most glorious thing. >> jimmy: and what a nice person. >> and i'm just so lucky to be a part of it. i don't really contribute very much. but i sit there and laugh and have, just the most delightful time. >> jimmy: but you get to do that. and then you get "the night manager" which is a a spy-thriller, and you play a a villain. >> i do. >> jimmy: you play, someone said, the character is the worst person in the world? >> "the worst man in the world," that's how he's described in the story, yes. >> jimmy: not too shabby. >> you come to me. >> jimmy: oh, please, yeah.
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the nicest guy in the world. >> it is, i have to say, it's really good. i'm not given to saying that, but this is really good. >> jimmy: people are raving about it. >> it's, it's, uh -- and i'm very, very proud of it, i must admit. >> jimmy: and you're fantastic in it. i wanna show everyone a clip. here's hugh laurie and tom hidelston in "the night manager." take a look at this. >> i run a tight ship here. you're right. we do a little swashbuckling every now and then. but we play straight with each other. you saved my boy, and i'm grateful. but you step out of line, i'll make you howl for your mother. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: so, deal? think about it, deal? [ cheers and applause ] hugh laurie, everybody! "the night manager" premieres tuesday, april 19th at 10:00 p.m. on amc. we'll be right back with senator ted cruz. stick around, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest is
quote
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nomination for president of the united states. please welcome from the great state of texas, senator ted cruz! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you for being on the show. what a journey you've had since you were this kid here in high school. look at a young guy, ted cruz here. look at that guy. [ laughter ] look at this guy, you're not gonna believe this. this is in your yearbook. did you write this? or they wrote this about you? >> no, sadly, that was me. >> jimmy: you wrote this? i mean really, this is fascinating. ted hopes to attend princeton university, check. wants to attend law school, possibly harvard, check. achieve a successful law practice, check. pursue his real goal, a career in politics, check.
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the united states -- that's unbelievable. [ applause ] that's unbelievable. i'm so happy it didn't say go on to host the "tonight show," because i feel, i mean, this is -- that's kind of unbelievable. >> you know, i was kind of a a driven kid. i wish i had said, "go on to be the starting point guard on the lakers." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, yeah. >> but that wasn't meant to be. no, no. other than not having height or speed or talent, other than that i had that completely there. >> jimmy: but you were a smart, smart kid. >> i'm told that donald trump, that his high school yearbook. that he said his goal was to make every late-night comic really rich. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you're both doing a a good job. let's just say that. [ laughter and applause ] thank you and apologize at the same time. but one of your skills, i would say is you're fantastic at
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right you would say you're good at that. and which is all great. but my question -- >> and i'll tell you, in college that really attracted the women. >> jimmy: it really did, yeah. [ laughter ] >> you know if you want to argue about nato policy in a a bar? i mean it's just a great pick-up line. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: the debating club, yeah. when, when did you, this is my question, when did you think you became a master debater? [ laughter and applause ] was it high school? high school? was it high school? >> you know, jimmy? >> jimmy: a lot in college? >> i'm not gonna touch that. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: okay, all right. well -- >> and i have no intention of using the twitter hashtag you suggested. >> jimmy: oh, yeah, no. it's a good one. no one has taken it yet.
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for president, it just seems absolutely grueling to me. how are you even just standing right now, do you know where you are? i mean, every day you're doing 100 interviews. >> it is -- it's exhausting, but i'll tell you, i'm having more fun than i've ever had in my life. >> jimmy: is that right? >> yeah, i've probably got a screw loose, but it is -- it is amazing. i mean, you're on the road nonstop. you know, i was up earlier today at charlie's butcher shop up in buffalo. [ applause ] and -- had a fantastic sandwich there, visiting with people there. started out meeting with delegates, we're on the road, flying all around. >> jimmy: what's the best food you've had since you've been around campaigning? >> the best food -- listen, actually the beef sandwich i had today at charlie's butcher shop if you're in buffalo, go visit charlie, it's awfully good. [ applause ] >> jimmy: there you go. i'll do that. is it tough on the family? 'cause i know your kids go out with you and your wife. >> it's hands down the hardest part.
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nonstop. and for the first half of the campaign or so, the girls, mostly stayed home and were in school. and -- >> jimmy: so cute. your girls are -- >> thankfully they look like their mother. i'm very grateful. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: they're really cute. i don't know which one it was, but maybe the older one, you went to give her a kiss and she goes, "dad!" [ laughter ] >> that would be caroline. >> jimmy: caroline, yeah. >> but today is caroline's eighth birthday, so i want to say happy birthday. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: happy birthday, caroline! happy, happy birthday! have a great one. >> and you've got two little girls, you know how much fun it is. >> jimmy: they're tiny, they're three and two. >> just get ready. >> jimmy: really? yeah, yeah, yeah. >> no, it's -- as they get older you're more and more wrapped around their fingers, they discover -- i don't know how it works in your house, but in our house, heidi is the tough one and daddy's the pushover. daddy's the one they come to when mommy's saying no. >> jimmy: oh, completely, oh yeah. that's the way it works already. but they're babies too, so -- >> it doesn't change.
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no, not at all. >> well, look, ours are five and eight so they're not exactly driving yet. but -- >> jimmy: soon, yeah. so what has to happen now? 'cause now the new york primary is next tuesday. >> uh-huh. >> jimmy: not looking so good for you, right? sorry to bring it up, but -- >> thank you for rubbing my nose in it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, no, no. >> look, actually the early polling was challenging, but i feel pretty confident as a a result of tonight that we're gonna win new york with 100% of the votes. [ applause ] >> jimmy: that's the attitude, that's the attitude you gotta have. so new york is not gonna happen, right? [ laughter ] but then what has to happen though? because i'm trying to understand everything, i'm reading everything i can. i don't quite understand delegates and what has to work and there's a magic number. you and trump might not -- neither of you might not hit the number, then what happens? >> so listen, new york is trump's home state. he's probably gonna do well here. a lot people expect him to get north of 50%. we're ai
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delegates, and i think we'll do that and regardless of what happens here, in all likelihood we are headed to a contested convention in cleveland. where i'm gonna come in with a a bunch of delegates, donald's gonna come in with a bunch of delegates, neither one of us will have gotten the majority. and then it's gonna be a battle to see who can earn a majority from the delegates who are elected by the people. and jimmy, if that happens, i think we're gonna be in the much stronger position, i think donald's highest total will be on the first ballot. and we will naturally, you know one way to think about it is where do the rubio delegates and the kasich delegates go? and i think they naturally come to us. and i think we'll win a a majority at the convention and then we'll go on and beat hillary in november. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: if it happens to be trump, do you, 'cause everyone's asking this question, will you support the nominee? >> well i am working very, very hard -- [ laughter ] not to have to answer that question.
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>> jimmy: he's a master debater, you guys. he knows what he's doing. but you -- you do, right? you have to? [ laughter ] >> i agree, i have to beat him in cleveland. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: okay. what if -- >> and listen, part of the reason why is poll after poll after poll shows if donald is the nominee, hillary wins and she wins by double digits. [ cheers ] >> okay. so, if you're a hillary supporter, you're rooting for donald. but what we're saying is we're saying really republicans coming together behind our campaign, because we don't want to forfeit the white house and hand over another four or eight more years of an economic agenda that people are hurting. we've got the lowest percentage of americans working since 1977. my campaign is focused on bringing jobs back to america, raising wages, bringing manufacturing back from china, back from mexico. expanding so young people coming o
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have jobs, have a future, that's what this election's about. what we're doing isn't working and i think we have to win in november. and that's a lot of the reason so many republicans are uniting behind our campaign. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: well, i wish you all the luck. and i thank you for coming on. >> thank you, jimmy. >> jimmy: thank you for being a good sport. senator ted cruz, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] we'll be right back with music from future! stick around. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest has released three number one albums in less than seven months and is up for two billboard music awards for top rap artist and top rap album. [ cheers ] performing "wicked" give it up for future! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ wicked, wicked wicked, wicked wicked tunes you know what i'm sayin' ♪ ♪ wizard all right let's go metro boomin
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want some more ♪ ♪ huh, wicked, wicked wicked, wicked hold up, wicked, wicked wicked, wicked ♪ ♪ wooh, wicked, wicked wicked, wicked hold up, wicked, wicked wicked, wicked ♪ ♪ stand up in the motor bust the dashboard stand up in the motor bust the dashboard ♪ ♪ hold up, wicked, wicked wicked, wicked wicked, wicked wicked, wicked ♪ ♪ candles burning money burning graveyard these phantom parkin' big dawg barkin' hey ♪ ♪ blood tales on me oh-oh-oh-oh shawty want that wave oh-oh-oh-oh ♪ ♪ i'm drippin' cartier oh-oh-oh-oh put a gold bird on you that's what's happening ♪ ♪ that's what's happening ♪ i put that lingo on her she was spanish she was spanish ♪ ♪ i fill a one liter up with xannies up with xannies ♪ ♪ this continental and it's panoramic it's complimentary to the savages ♪ ♪ you -- around with me it be a tragedy i want green, green
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green, no asparagus ♪ ♪ i drink -- it ain't embarrassing huh, wicked, wicked wicked, wicked ♪ ♪ hold up, wicked wicked, wicked, wicked wooh, wicked, wicked wicked, wicked ♪ ♪ now she going now that chick going i purchase avion and now she lit, huh ♪ ♪ wedding band rings on me lit, huh married to the game i'm the huh ♪ ♪ woah, woah, woah, woah chick we made men we ain't pullin' up at cribs that we can't get ♪ ♪ you can't pull a chick on instagram i ain't hit, huh ♪ ♪ and then she tellin' lies about me cause she ain't -- , uh ♪ ♪ she want that big-big dog status i was in the alley with them nickel bags, tally ♪ ♪ now i'm taliban gang status that's what's happenin' ♪ ♪ and you homies can't get close cause you don't know me it ain't no more dip and dabbin' hangin' low key ♪ ♪ these chick see me and they panic i can't believe it, i was on the corner gamblin' ♪ ♪
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wicked, wicked hold up, wicked, wicked wicked, wicked ♪ ♪ let's go wicked, wicked wicked, wicked wicked, wicked wicked, wicked ♪ ♪ stand up in the motor bust the dashboard stand up in the motor bust the dashboard ♪ ♪ huh, wicked, wicked wicked, wicked, wicked hold up, wicked, wicked wicked, wicked ♪ ♪ wicked, wicked wicked, wicked let's get wicked, wicked, wicked ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: future! wicked wicked wicked, is available on itunes now "wicked." we'll be right back, everybody! ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
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i'm chris van hollen, and i approve this message. narrator: an attack ad from the campaign for donna edwards. so untrue. so outrageous that president obama said, "pull it down." the obama white house called the ad on chris van hollen and the nra "misleading." the sun says van hollen and president obama have the exact same position. the post praised van hollen as a "leading champion on gun safety," and condemned the edwards ads that "mislead" voters. donna edwards. will she say anything to win an election?
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♪ [ cheers and applause ]
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hugh laurie, senator ted cruz, future! [ cheers and applause ] and the roots, right there, ladies and gentlemen. stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching. have a great night. i hope to see you tomorrow. bye-bye, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- governor john kasich, actor and author, david duchovny, from "hard lovin' woman," actress juliette lewis, comedian, michelle wolf, featuring the 8g band with fab moretti. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers! >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] good to hear. very, very good to hear. let's get to the news. hillary clinton and bernie sanders debated in brooklyn earlier this evening, which means hillary began swiping her metro card some time this morning. [ laughter ] during their famil

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