tv Late Night With Seth Meyers NBC January 31, 2017 12:37am-1:37am EST
[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- john malkovich. from "24: legacy", actor corey hawkins. music from kings of leon. featuring the 8g band with kenny aronoff ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening! i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] that's fantastic. here, in that case, let's get to the news. former president obama released his first public statement today since leaving the white house, and i have it here. just let me read it to you in full. [ clearing throat ]
president trump said yesterday that his ban on visitors from seven muslim-majority nations is not about religion, but about "keeping our country safe." though if you really want to keep americans safe, quit making them walk in the street! [ light laughter ] everything you do, people end up walking in the street. [ light laughter ] it's a health hazard! [ cheers and applause ] president trump said today that if he had announced his travel ban earlier, the "bad people would rush into our country." i don't know how to tell you this, but dude, turn around. [ laughter ] also, that's the phrase you want to use right now, they're gonna "rush in"? [ as trump ] "hmm, how can i speak to the muslim ban while also reminding everyone i'm sleeping with vladimir putin?" [ laughter ] german chancellor angela merkel this weekendpo
convention to president trump during a phone call. she also had to explain to him to not push the buttons while they were talking. [ light laughter ] [ german accent ] this is a very serious thing and i cannot hear you when you press the buttons. [ light laughter ] because i am hearing it on my end, and it is actually louder in my ears, than it is on your console.e i think that's right. [ light laughter ] seven bricks of cocaine were reportedly found in the nose of an american airlines plane yesterday, which may explain why it refused to land. i'm going to keep flying! do you want to go to china? let's go to china. i can do this. i'm feeling good. i'm feeling good. you refuel. i'm going to china. whoo! [ laughter and applause ] psychologists recently revealed phrases that people in a relationship should not say to each other, including comparing a partner to their mother or suggesting a partner should have campaigned more in wisconsin and michigan. [ light laughter ] [ audience oohs ] hey, it's in the past. get over it! [ light laughter ]
two new hampshire burger king employees were arrested last week, after selling marijuana at their drive-through. which is crazy. who goes to burger king before they get weed? [ light laughter ] this next joke i've never been more confident, or excited, to tell the joke than the joke. and i hope i'm not ruining it, by overselling it, but man, oh, man, you guys are about to get a real a-lister. [ light laughter ] a dental student, i think, the thing is, it's going to be one of those jokes you take with you the rest of your life. [ light laughter ] and it might not get its biggest laugh right now, but an hour from now, two hours from now, a month from now, you'll be driving on the highway and you'll remember this one and go, "whoo, thank you, seth meyers." [ light laughter ] a dental student from paris was crowned miss universe last night. she was given a plaque, but she got rid of it. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] felt as good telling it, as you thought it would.
[ light laughter ] according to a new study, having sex in a hot tub could cause infections and rashes, though if you're the kind of person who has sex in hot tubs, you probably brought a couple with you. [ light laughter ] and finally, scientists are reportedly working on a hormone dubbed "mental viagra", that could increase sexual desire in older men. while one woman is reportedly working on the antidote. [ laughter and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, we have a fantastic show for you tonight! [ cheers and applause ] he's a legendary actor. he's got a new fashion line. john malkovich is here, everybody! how about that? [ cheers and applause ] he's a great, young actor who stars in fox's "24: legacy." corey hawkins joins us tonight. [ cheers and applause ] and we will have, music from grammy award-winning rock band from tennessee, kings of leon are here tonight. so it's a fantastic show. [ cheers and applause ] before we get to any of that, president donald trump faced a nationwide backlash and a second st
refugees and visitors from seven majority-muslim countries. it was not only cruel and unnecessary, but apparently very poorly thought out. for more on this, it's time for "a closer look." ♪ [ cheers and applause ] in his first week as president, trump did very little to assuage the concerns of the majority of voters that did not support him. in fact, throughout the campaign, and now as president, all he has ever really offered to ease people's minds, was this vague platitude. >> i have a very big heart. i actually have a big heart. i do have a big heart. >> seth: "i do have a big heart. or as my doctor calls it, enlarged." [ light laughter ] also, people who actually do have a big heart don't walk around bragging about it. i don't remember mother teresa constantly going, "this is so nice of me, right?" [ light laughter ] but okay, trump says he has a big heart. let's see that big ole heart in action. >> president trumpni
terrorists, but is it a muslim ban? >> what does this order do? it temporarily bars all refugees from entering into the u.s. it's suspends u.s. visas. and this is all centered around seven predominantly muslim countries. >> the nations impacted by the order so far -- sudan, somalia, libya, iraq, iran, yemen and syria. refugees from syria are indefinitely banned. people from the other six nations stopped for 90 days. >> seth: so, trump indefinitely banned refugees fleeing the horrors of a civil war in syria, and he also blocked visa-holders and even legal green card-holders from seven majority muslim countries. although when trump first announced the order, at a signing ceremony on friday, he read it aloud, like he was seeing it for the very first time. >> and this is the protection of the nation from foreign terrorists entering into the united states. and we all know what that means -- protection of the nation from foreign terrorists' entry into the unitedte
>> seth: hey, man, it's not comforting to us, when you seem shocked by the stuff you're signing. that's the way people look before they sign the injury waiver on "american ninja warriors." [ light laughter ] it's like when you were a little kid and once a month your dad would read your bedtime story, instead of your mom. wow, so the wolf just blew the house down. that is weird. [ light laughter ] a day after signing the order, trump was asked how it was going, and had this to say -- >> it's working out very nicely. you see it at the airports. you see it all over. it's working out very nicely. >> seth: okay. he seems confident. let's check into those airports and see how nicely everything's working out. [ light laughter ] >> president trump's executive order has caused chaos at airports with people being turned away, some even detained. >> and i'll quote this, one official saying "nobody has any idea what is going on." >> this protester says they were told three different things by homeland security officers.
>> one said "no, your family member won't be able to get in." another one said "iran is not our friend." and another one said, "i haven't watched the news. what's going on?" >> seth: oh. [ light laughter ] how do you work at an airport and not see the news? they have cnn on every flat surface and a hudson news every 30 yards. have you also never had a cinnabon? [ light laughter ] the order created confusion and chaos at airports across the country, resulted in the detention of over 100 people, including legal u.s. residents who had green cards. in fact, in an especially cruel twist, the ban resulted in the detention of an iraqi who had worked for a decade as an interpreter for the u.s. military in iraq. and even after being detained at jfk for 18 hours, he had nothing but positive things to say about america. >> caught in the confusion over president trump's extreme vetting order, hameed darweesh, the iraqi interpreter for the u.s. military detained for some 18 hours at jfk, even though he had a valid visa. released only after he got a waiver from the executive order.
>> what do you think of america? >> america is the greatest nation, the greatest people in the world. >> seth: think about that. he was detained for 18 hours at jfk, and he still loves america. if you can spend more than two hours at jfk without losing your [ bleep ], you should get automatic citizenship. [ laughter and applause ] but okay, fine. there was one, one mistake. aside from that one mishap, the trump administration was laser-focused on the kinds of people who posed a clear and obvious threat to national security, right? >> now, another person that's been caught in the travel ban confusion and the chaos, is a 75-year-old iranian woman in l.a. now, the elderly grandmother wound up being detained for several hours, before her release to the family that was waiting for her. >> she has a green card. she's had a green card since 1997. >> since 1997. >> yeah, so it's not -- >> she's not new. >> now, as for what she would say to president trump, she says, "do something right." >> seth: yeah. i think i speak for everyone when i say i'm with grandma.
[ laughter and applause ] but in a way -- in a way -- [ cheers and applause ] trump did accomplish something truly remarkable. he managed to spark yet another round of massive, nationwide protests for the second time in just the first week of his presidency. and people are willing to go to [ bleep ] places to protest. last week it was parks. this week it was airports. next week people are going to march for gay rights at the dmv. [ light laughter ] the tone of the protests made clear, that these were not fleeting, spontaneous gatherings, but organized resistance that will not go away any time soon, as this sign made clear -- "first they came for the muslims, and we said, not today, mother [ bleep ]." [ cheers and applause ] a sign -- a sign, i should note, that was clearly purchased at samuel l. jackson's sign emporium. [ light laughter ] don't put a mother [ bleep ] on your sign. almost as troubling as the actual substance of this order, was how sloppy and confusing the process for putting it together apparently was. federal agencies and officials were caught off guard, and ultimately, because of that
ordered a stay, stopping all deportations, saying in a statement, "we're likely to hear a lot of, for the next four years -- "i think the government hasn't had a full chance to think about this." [ light laughter ] trump should be the first president that legally has to count to 100, before taking action. [ light laughter ] not because he'll think better of it, but because he'll forget what it is. [ as trump ] "i want to shoot rosie o'donnell into space. 100, 99, turn on 'morning joe,' 98, turn it up, i can't hear mika. 97, what am i counting for? what's going on here?" [ light laughter ] but it's worth stepping back here, and putting this into context, in just the first week of his presidency, trump has dropped to record-low approval ratings, had two straight weekends of massive nationwide protests, and lost a court battle over a sloppy and discriminatory executive order. even trump's staff seemed confused and uninformed about the order. white house chief of staff, reince priebus for example, directly contradicted himself within minutes of the question, of whether the order would affect legal u.s. residents who hold green cards. >> as far as green card holders moving forward, it doesn't affect
any green card holders from these seven countries? >> well, of course it does. [ laughter ] >> seth: does this affect green card holders? "yes, it doesn't, not. i don't know how i can't be any clearer." [ light laughter ] and then there's the question of whether this executive order is just a muslim ban by another name. one of the key questions in the court battle to come, is whether it's basically just a way to ban muslims without doing that explicitly. trump insisted it was not, but over the weekend, trump adviser rudy giuliani seemed to admit, that that's exactly what it is. >> when he first announced it, he said muslim ban. he called me up, he said put a commission together, show me the right way to do it legally. and what we did was we focused on, instead of religion, danger, the air -- areas of the world that create danger for us. >> seth: rudy, you're not supposed to say that out loud. [ laughter ] rudy's the kind of guy who would send a girl a dozen roses, with a card that says "i'm hoping these will make you want to sleep with me." [ laughter ] and then there's the fact that trump openly and explicitly said
trump's policy of discriminating by religion has even been denounced by major christian groups. but i mean, who are you going to side with, them, or a guy who talks about god like this? >> who is god to you? what -- what are some of your thoughts on this? clearly, you're a smart man, you're a smart businessman. you've contemplated this before? or, how -- have you contemplated it? >> well, i think god is the ultimate. you know, you look at this -- you look at this incredible -- here we are in the pacific ocean. how did i ever own this? i bought it 15 years ago. i made one of the great deals they say ever, this piece of land. i have no mortgage on it, as you -- i will certificate and represent to you. >> we'll see that. >> and i was able to, you know, buy this and make a great deal. that's what i want to do for the country, make great deals. we have to. we have to bring it back. but god is the ultimate. >> seth: "tell you about god? sure, i'd love to. long story about myself, god." it's only been a week. [ laughter and applause ] i mean, i think when it comes to business, you have god and then i'm just a little bit above him.
it's only been a week, but the trump administration's already revealed itself to be a government of incompetent authoritarians with nothing but contempt for many of the basic constitutional principles this country has cherished since its founding. i think it's safe to say, if things keep going like this, then samuel l. jackson's going to clean up everybody. [ light laughter ] this has been "a closer look." ♪ [ cheers and applause ] we'll be right back with john malkovich, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seth: welcome back to "late night," everyone! please, give it up for the 8g band, right over there! [ cheers and applause ] also, sitting in with us this week, he's one of the world's most influential and in-demand drummers who has played on over 60 grammy-nominated recordings. his incredible memoir, "sex, drums, rock 'n' roll! the hardest hitting man in show business" is out now. kenny aronoff is here! give it up for kenny, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] thanks for being here, my friend. >> oh, you're welcome, you're welcome. it's great. >> seth: our first guest tonight is an emmy winning, oscar and golden globe-nominated actor you know from films like "dangerous liaisons," "burn after reading" and "being john malkovich." his self-named fashion line is available through johnmalkovich.com. please welcome to show john malkovich, everybody!
[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seth: how are you? >> i'm well. you? >> seth: i'm so happy to have you here. i'm very well. i'm very happy to have you. this is your third fashion line. >> yep. >>eth: and this one is called just "john malkovich." >> yes, yeah. >> seth: what were the first two called? >> the first one was called "uncle kimono" and the second one was called "techno bohemian." >> seth: so, both those times john malkovich was available, you just passed it over. [ light laughter ] >> yeah. >> seth: what about this line made you decide to give it -- put your name on it? >> actually, it wasn't my idea. it was my new partners who are in paris, really wanted it to carry my name. and then we found out that somebody already owns my name. >> seth: yeah. [ light laughter ] they own it on the web -- they own the website, the web domain. >> well, they didn't have john malkovich, they just had malkovich, and they had a
which had pictures of me. >> seth: wow. >> and comments about my style. but i -- the lawyer said that's because his name was vich, and he had a partner called malko. >> seth: oh, my goodness. >> hence, malkovich. >> seth: oh my goodness. [ light laughter ] that seems like -- that seems -- this seems really shady. >> well, it's positively french. >> seth: yeah. >> and it's in court right now. >> seth: oh. that's very exciting. let me know how it turns out. >> i will do. >> seth: i want to ask you this, because you -- you're not somebody who just puts your name on a line of clothes. you're very involved in this from the beginning to end. is this something that you always were interested in or you found sort of later in -- >> well, i was always interested in clothes and in style. i've always been a fabric collector fo f
years. and i started out in our theater also costuming, which i do only occasionally now, but i still do a bit of. so, i -- i always was interested in that. and when i started the first line, a young italian gentleman asked me to work with him and design a line. so, i've always drawn everything, chosen everything. i go over for the fabric fair next week outside of paris. >> seth: you have a super bowl commercial that you did with square space. and this is you making light of the fact that your name was stolen online. >> yeah. >> seth: and it's a fantastic commercial. i -- let's take a preview look at it here. >> i need john malkovich.com.
how the [ bleep ] can you be john malkovich? dear mr. malkovich, guess who. [ laughter ] what the [ bleep ], question mark. what the [ bleep ]? [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: hopefully, in the french court system you have a bit more decorum. >> oh, well, we'll see. i wasn't -- i actually couldn't go to any of the cases i've had so far. >> seth: okay. >> because i was always doing something else. >> seth: yeah, i think that's going to be a big -- it will be like a courtroom drama the day you show up. i think malko and vich are going to wet themselves when you actually walk in. >> yeah, maybe, we shall see. but the french have a spectacular concept, which is, if you have a trial, say a ma
monde newspaper, that you win. do you know they can appeal? and do you know what grounds? >> seth: what? >> you don't have to have any grounds. >> seth: really? [ laughter ] >> yeah. >> seth: they just want a do-over? >> yeah. let's play again. [ with french accents ] >> seth: i do not like this. let's do it one more time. >> once more. >> seth: congratulations on this round, but i challenge you again. >> yes. [ light laughter ] they also -- they also don't have the concept of damages. >> seth: oh, really? so what happens when you win? >> nothing. [ laughter ] you pay for the court case, you pay your attorneys, then you wait for the appeal so you can pay them again. >> seth: so it's a colossal waste of money. [ light laughter ] >> mah. [ light laughter ] >> seth: you mentioned you used to -- you worked at the steppenwolf theater, you did costumes there. you also directed many plays. did you -- were your plays well received as a director? >> some -- some were.
a number were, but i was also known i think to this day, i directed the production of a play called "savages," written by the great english playwright and screenwriter christopher henson. and "savages" is recognized as the worst production of the play in the history of chicago's theater. [ light laughter ] >> seth: oh, really? >> yeah, yeah. >> seth: it endures. >> and that's books. [ light laughter ] >> seth: did you have a sense while you were working on it, oh, this one's getting away from me? >> yeah. >> seth: you do? [ light laughter ] >> i'll never forget, opening night i was just -- i had said to the actors, "i should explain quickly this play sort of goes on dual tracks." one track is an english diplomat
who writes quite decent poetry, who is kidnapped by a kind of, carlos the jackal, terrorist figure. the second track of this play is about the genocide against an indian tribe called the cintas largas in brazil with deforestation, et cetera, et cetera. so i don't know why i thought it s a good idea, but we did it with -- representing the indians were 30 naked, sort of, north shore of chicago actors in kind of moe wigs -- >> seth: uh-huh, yeah. >> and body paint. and the very first night, i had said to the two actors who had torches, when the diplomat comes out and reads the poem and these 30 actors dance out naked, it's
a very, very small theater. lhlh so if you're sitting here, you have things that could be disturbing inches from you. lhlh >> seth: got you. >> i had said to them, because the whole thing was just such a disaster, i just said -- we had a wooden floor in the theater. i said to the two actors carrying the torches, "listen, if the torches go out, if the sterno goes out, don't try to light it off the other person, okay?" yeah, we won't. okay. don't. okay? so, veryirst couple minutes of the play, they come out. they're crouched, like, naked like this, and you're like here. [ light laughter ] one sterno can torch goes out.
the other guy immediately dips his can over to light it. whole stage on fire. lhlh opening night. >> seth: the then just like -- flapping genitals of terror i'm assuming. >> yeah. >> seth: yeah. >> and we had a woman also who had some kind of terrific intestinal problem. lhlh which could be heard like, as loud as a drum shot, and was olfactory as well. [ laughter ] >> seth: oh, wow. >> i mean, it was bad. >> seth: and so, when that night ends, do you kind of think, i might not run out tomorrow to grab the newspapers to read the reviews? >> no, i read it. i mean, look, that was 1980, and they still talk about it.
while. >> seth: well, i think it's sometimes nice, though to find out what the floor feels like and then you can go find the ceiling. >> yeah, yeah. >> seth: thank you so much for being here. such a pleasure to talk to you. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you, thank you. >> seth: john malkovich, everybody. his fashion line is available through johnmalkovich.com. we'll be right back with corey hawkins. ♪ play marian hill. ♪ ♪are you down, d-d-down, d-d-down,♪ ♪d-d-down, down, down? ♪are you... down, d-down, down,♪ ♪d-d-d-d-down, down, down, down?♪ ♪down, d-down, down, down, ♪d-d-d-d-down, down, down, down?♪ ♪are you down, are you down,♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back, everybody! our next guest played dr. dre in the hit film "straight outta compton," will be in the broadway revival of "six degrees of separation" this spring. he also stars in the new series, "24: legacy," which premieres this sunday on fox right after the super bowl. let's take a look. >> see, i don't expect you to believe me, but if i don't get that money, a lot of people are gonna die. look, i'm sorry. i didn't wake up this morning thinking this was going to happen to me.
i don't want to hurt anybody. but here's the deal. you're going to do what i say, when i say it. >> you're going to rob this station. that's crazy. >> yeah. i keep hearing that. >> seth: please welcome to the show corey hawkins, everybody! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: how are you? >> i'm good, man! good, good, good. >> seth: busy, very busy. you've got "24." you're going to be in "king kong", coming up in a couple months, and then you're going to do a show on broadway starting in february. it's very exciting! >> yeah, man, it's really exciting. it's actually my first time, like, seeing the playbill. >> seth: seeing the playbill? do you want me to sign it for you? i can sign it for you. [ light laughter ] no, it's real now. this is a real thing now. you're going to be in a play. >> yeah. >> seth: so, ts
for those that don't know, it's a very big deal when a network -- what a network chooses to put on after the super bowl. >> yes. >> seth: so, the premiere of "24: legacy" is going to be after the super bowl. now does that mean that you -- what kind of super bowl are you rooting for? >> i am -- listen, we film the show in atlanta, so i'm actually rooting for the falcons. >> seth: got you. >> and um -- there we go. >> seth: yeah, a few birds. a few birds in the house. >> yeah, we're going to rise up. but yeah, and i got to see it, like my -- i got to see it, see the last game at the georgia dome before they bring it down. so it was really special, like to -- >> seth: that's great. so you actually have an investment here. >> yeah. >> seth: but you don't want a blowout, right? because -- >> you don't want a blowout. because if you get a blowout, then that means it goes a little over, and then people -- the show airs right after, so you know, we're hoping -- >> seth: yeah, you want a very close game. >> that's right. >> seth: you want to win on a hail mary. falcons hail mary, and then everybody sits back and watches a little "24." >> that's right, man. falcons up by seven. >> seth: are you going to go to the game? >> i am, yeah. >> seth: oh that's fantastic. have you ever been to the super bowl before? >> no, no, no. i come froke
so i'm going to have an entourage. well just one, just be my grandfather. >> seth: okay, now i'm pretty sure you're using entourage wrong. >> right, right. as busy as i am, you'd think i'd have more than my grandfather following me around. >> seth: things are going pretty well for corey. i saw him at the super bowl with his grandfather. man, he's changed. he has an entourage now. >> he's been asking me, he's been like "man, where are all the after-parties at?" i'm like, granddad, we've got to like watch the show after first and then we'll get to the, you know. i don't know. >> seth: so and you -- now you spent a lot of time here in new york. you went to juilliard. >> yes, sir. >> seth: congratulations, then. >> thank you. >> seth: i'm always impressed when i meet a juilliard actor. but this was not something -- obviously you aspire to go to juilliard, and then once you get there, it can be weird for people. was it weird for you? >> it was a little strange. you know, well, we call -- listen, juilliard is a very prestigious school. i loved every minute of it. it gave me a huge sort of platform and i respect and adore all of the teachers and my clases
however, um -- [ laughter ] we called it the jail yard, some of us while we were there, because, like, you can't see out the windows. like, you're in there from like 6:00 a.m. until midnight every day. you're rolling around on the floor, and they're like, imagine sand between your toes. you know, and rolling around in the jell-o and stuff like that, and you realize that you're a grown man with a bunch of old, you know, other grown men there. but it really does help when you're shooting "kong: skull island", and you've got to imagine a huge gorilla in front of you. >> seth: gotcha, so king kong is not real in the movie. >> well -- >> seth: good to know. >> no he -- [ laughter ] >> seth: good to know. but you -- on "24," i heard you asked for and got to do your own stunts. is that something you were excited for? do you regret it? >> yes, i regret it. [ light laughter ] listen, i'm just generally clumsy in general as a person. >> seth: yeah. >> hopefully, i make eric carter look as good as i can on the show. and you know, you try to do it
women in armed forces. and i'm playing a soldier, so you want to get it right. but i remember, i think like the first time we were shooting -- shooting like one of the second or third episodes and there was this huge sort of shoot-out scene, and all i had to do was lean in and just, like, close the door. and we had rehearsed it a thousand times, lean in and close the door. and, you know, the people are shooting this way. and i remember he said "action!" and i leaned in, and i like knocked myself out on the door. [ light laughter ] i was like laying on the floor, my costume. my costume. she came over -- michaela comes over. she's like "i thought he got shot! i thought he got shot!" i'm like, no, i'm okay, i just --, i'm just clumsy. >> seth: yeah i think -- so hours 4:00 to 6:00 you're just knocked out. >> i'm out. >> seth: those are two very slow episodes where they're just snapping. >> everybody been waiting for them to get some rest. 4:00 to 6:00. >> seth: so "straight oughtta compton", such a fantastic film. you got to play dr. dre. >> yeah. >> seth: got to meet dr. dre, he was very involved in the film. but now you get to sort of bring that with you that ylw
>> seth: that's sort of a big break, and that has followed you a little bit, yeah? >> well yeah, well, i know when i showed up to --. yes, it was a blessing. "straight outta compton" was just a role of a lifetime and it actually helped set me up for "24: legacy," because the producer saw it and they offered me this role from that. so that was great. but when i got to set, i remember i went to the sound department, and you know we sit at village and we're watching everybody work, and they brought up these headphones and they were like the cheap, $2 -- >> seth: they're cheap headphones. >> yeah. >> seth: people don't understand, when you're on a movie set, they're really lousy. >> yeah, you know. so i was like, guys, you know, i play dr. dre, right? like, y'all can do a little better than that. [ light laughter ] can i get some beats? >> seth: and they did, though! they did not -- now, they did not get you beats. >> this was my chris -- they did not -- well they well they -- this was my christmas present from my buddy in the sound department. [ light laughter ] >> seth: they just painted that on? is that officially just painted on? [ light laughter ]
he just stuck it on with some scotch tape, man. [ light laughter ] >> seth: i guess they're telling you don't get too full of yourself because you're still wearing the regular headphones. >> i don't know, man. >> seth: well congratulations on everything, man. best of luck in the super bowl. best luck after the super bowl. [ applause ] >> i appreciate it dog, thank you. >> seth: corey hawkins, everybody! "24: legacy" premieres on fox this sunday right after the super bowl. we'll be right back with more "late night." ♪ it's the subway footlong fest. any of your favorite footlongs
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♪ [ laughter ] cartoons. wait for it. [ cat screech ] [ laughter ] ♪ [ screaming ] [ laughter ] make everyday awesome with the power of xfinity x1... hi grandma! and the fastest internet. [ girl screaming ] [ laughter ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back! as you know, as we talked about last week, president trump spent much of his first week in office insisting that his inauguration crowd bi
barack obama's in 2009, as well as bigger than the women's march crowd a day later, which is clearly not true. let's take a look at some photos. there you go, you can tell the difference, right in the middle with trump. but he didn't stop there. trump had his press secretary go on record to say his crowd was the biggest crowd period. this prompted news agencies to consult crowd scientists to dispute trump's false claims. we at "late night" wanted professional opinions as well, so please welcome crowd scientist dr. dave watson, everybody. [ applause ] >> seth: how are you? >> thanks for having me, seth. wow! what a great audience of roughly, uh -- [ light laughter ] 200 people. >> seth: wow! [ cheers and applause ] that is really great. so, is it safe to assume that a crowd scientist is someone that mathematically calculates crowd size? >> that's exactly right, seth.
that before this i had never heard of a crowd scientist before. >> well, trust me, with trump as president, you are going to hear about us a lot more. >> seth: so, how exactly does one become a crowd scientist? >> why, crowd college, of course. i went to crowd u. >> dave, from crowd u. class of '03? it's me, wendy! >> wendy, hey! >> seth: wait, you also went to crowd u., because i've never heard of it. >> i'm surprised. it's a huge school. >> well, not as big as crowd state! go fighting hordes! [ light laughter ] >> seth: sorry, you're also a crowd scientist? how is this possible? >> seth in a crowd this size, there are always at least four of us. >> wrong! at least six crowd scientists in a crowd this size, if you want to bother doing correct crowd calculations. >> seth: so, let me guess, you're also a crowd scientist and you also went to crowd u.? >> please, i went to m.i.c., massachusetts institute of crowds. >> oh, here we go again with you
you know, some of us were home-schooled in a crowded house. [ light laughter ] >> and some of us went to crowdward university. >> seth: crowdward? >> it's a historically black crowd college. i'm not surprised you haven't heard of it. [ light laughter ] >> seth: i haven't heard of any of these places! >> well, come on, this is all a load of b.s.! there's no such thing as crowd science. it's a myth. >> okay, alright here we go, a crowd denier. >> seth: a crowd denier? [ light laughter ] >> yeah, yeah. quacks like that refuse to see crowds realistically. watch. sir, how many people go to an average nfl game? >> 18 people. >> all right. and how many people can fit into a toyota camry? >> a billion. [ light laughter ] shut up! i flunked out of crowd community college, okay? >> seth: all right, i'm sorry, buddy, but you look like a dickhead. [ light laughter ] >> yeah, i'm a real disappointment to my paren
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