tv The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon NBC March 10, 2017 11:34pm-12:37am EST
the experts from "ask this old house", and featuring the legendary roots crew. >> questlove: 617! boston! >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh. that's what i'm talking about. hey! looking good! good looking crowd tonight. hot crowd! hot -- hot crowd! [ cheers and applause ] welcome. welcome to "the tonight show", everybody. this is it. "the tonight show."
you're part of the show. this is it. [ cheers and applause ] well, here's what -- here's what people are talking about, everybody. you guys, we are just two days away from super bowl li. [ cheers ] and i'm just -- i'm excited about that. i don't know about you, but i'm just glad to see a major event where nobody argues about the size of the crowd. you know? [ applause ] "there's a jillion people." get this. tom brady said that his kids told him the atlanta falcons are really good and they're not sure he can beat them. [ light laughter ] in response, brady said, "monsters are real and they live under your bed. goodnight." [ laughter and applause ] brats. i read that this will be the first time the falcons and the patriots have faced off in the super bowl. it's also the first time a a lady gaga fan has seen a a football game. [ laughter and applause ] during a press conference yesterday, lady gaga said not to worry about any wardrobe malfunctions during her half time show.
of course, most people are trying to figure out what a a wardrobe malfunction with lady gaga would even look like. [ applause ] like, "hey, that doesn't -- oh, that's cool. no. oh, that's normal. no, that -- oh, that's her leg. oh, good. no, that's her leg." [ light laughter ] i read that this year's super bowl commercials will feature fewer celebrity endorsements, 'cause they're not as effective as previously thought. when asked how they figured that out, ad executives said, "hillary clinton told us." [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: whew! >> jimmy: listen to this. indianapolis colts punter pat mcafee is leaving football and his $3 million contract to pursue a career in comedy. one of his teammates said, "good luck." while the rest said, "we're paying our punter $3 million? [ laughter and applause ] the punter? what are we doing?" some news out of washington. i saw today president trump met with the ceo of pepsi. they actually have something in common. they're both america's second most popular choice.
you're out of coke? have a coke? don't have it? i'll take a pepsi. >> steve: hey-oh! >> jimmy: i saw that controversial white house advisor steve bannon is on the cover of "time" magazine. here it is. [ audience boos ] and that was after the photographer said, "okay, now let's do a silly one." [ light laughter ] we got it. here's some good news. it just came out that the economy added 227,000 jobs in january. [ cheers ] it was mostly riot police, but still, that's jobs. >> steve: a job is a job! >> jimmy: jobs are jobs. >> steve: a job is a job. >> jimmy: a job is a job. hey, the mexican drug lord el chapo appeared in federal court in brooklyn today, where his lawyers complained that his prison conditions are too harsh. [ light laughter ] they said he has a tiny cell with a toilet right in the middle of the room. then new yorkers said, "what's the ?"
[ laughter and applause ] sounds good. sounds good. you got a toilet? this is going viral this week. this is pretty cool. a fifth grade teacher in north carolina has a special handshake for every single one of his students. [ cheers and applause ] yeah. good for him. it's a cool thing. check this out. here, look. that's that -- i don't know how he even remember all of these -- he dabs at the end of that one. and then gets a little -- a a little wiggle with it. yeah. okay, good. then she's done. and -- come out. [ laughter ] isn't that cool? well it turns out that president trump actually has a a special handshake for the people that he works with, too. >> steve: really? >> jimmy: take a look at this. yeah. ooh -- hey -- all right. [ laughter and applause ] a little bit of a whip. all right. a little bit of a whip there. i'll give him that one. [ light laughter ] but he made up -- he tried to play it off. he was like -- ay, wow. >> steve: ooh. >> jimmy: "plane's over that way? cool. all t.
he made up for it. he definitely made up for it. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: oh, trust me, yeah. with his supreme court nominee, neil gorsuch. and this is real. watch -- look at this guy. hey, how ya -- >> steve: hey. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: we have a great show tonight. give it up for the roots, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: guys, come back again next week. on monday, tom selleck and joe jonas will be here. [ cheers and applause ] then later next week, ice cube, seth meyers, and alec baldwin will all be joining us. [ cheers and applause ] it's going to be a good week. but first, he's one of the biggest chefs in the world. the one and only gordon ramsay is on the show! >> steve: oh! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you better stay tuned!
we're going to catch up, screaming with gordon. and then -- no, we won't. >> steve: no. >> jimmy: and i told him he can't curse on this. >> steve: are you serious? >> jimmy: no. [ light laughter ] you can't tell him that, 'cause then he'll just do it more. >> steve: then he'll just do it more. yeah, he don't care. >> jimmy: he's the best. >> steve: gordo don't care. >> jimmy: gordon ramsay is here. he's coming on. we're going to play a new game called "secret ingredient" with questlove. it's pretty fun. plus, she is the musical guest on "saturday night live" this weekend. we're going to play "wheel of musical impressions" a little later on the show. the incredibly talented alessia cara. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: nice. >> jimmy: she's the best. she's the coolest, man. really, really, really talented. and i love these guys. they always come on our show and i welcome them back every time. the experts from the pbs show "ask this old house." the guys are here. [ cheers and applause ] they're going to show us some cool high-tech solutions for your home. >> steve: love those dudes!
>> jimmy: there might be a cool toilet bowl. >> steve: really? >> jimmy: i'm just saying. guys, today's friday. that's usually when i catch up with some personal stuff. you know, i check my inbox, i return some e-mails, and of course send out some "thank you" notes. and i was running a bit behind -- [ cheers and applause ] so i thought if you guys wouldn't mind, i'd just like to write out my weekly "thank you" notes right now. is that cool with you guys? [ cheers and applause ] thank you, thank you so much. james, can i get some "thank you" note writing music, please? ♪ [ light laughter ] >> steve: wow. >> jimmy: always in a good mood. >> steve: always -- >> jimmy: always in a good mood. mr. happy is what they call him. >> steve: yeah. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: mr. happy. look how happy he is. [ laughter ] >> steve: happy? he's thrilled. >> jimmy: a happy dude. >> steve: the bobblehead james. >> jimmy: oh, my god. >> steve: it's a james bobblehead. >> jimmy: really happy dude. ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, atlanta falcons logo, for letting me know what would happen if the post office logo hooked up with the sprint logo. [ laughter and applause ] ♪
thank you, beyonce, for being pregnant with twins. i just hope you don't forget about all the single babies. [ laughter and applause ] ♪ all the single babies all the single babies all the single babies ♪ ♪ [ light laughter ] thank you, plastic shopping bag, for being the perfect place to store all of my other plastic shopping bags. [ laughter ] fit perfectly scrunched in that bag. [ applause ] >> steve: so good. >> jimmy: oh, perfect spot. holds all of my bags. >> steve: it's like m.c. escher. >> jimmy: love that bag. ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, trump's supreme court nominee neil gorsuch, for looking like a dad on "law & order" who says, "that doesn't sound like something my son would do." [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: too early. >> jimmy: back half. thank you, steve bannon, for
finally letting me know what happened to that pigeon lady from "home alone 2." [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: hey-oh! [ cheers ] hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo! ah! ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, legos' new emojis, for letting users communicate emotions like, "i'm happy," "i'm concerned," and "i just stepped on a lego." [ laughter and applause ] i -- ♪ thank you, wearing an nfl jersey to a super bowl party, for letting me know what it would look like if tom brady spent 40% of his time on a a la-z-boy. there you go, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] those are my "thank you" notes. we'll be right back with gordon ramsay! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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i love our first guest. oh, my gosh. he a world-renowned chef who has earned six michelin stars. he also is the host of "master chef jr." which premieres its fifth season february 9th, at 8:00 p.m. on fox. now he's teaching you everything he knows in his very own master class of cooking available at masterclass.com. everyone please welcome gordon ramsay! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: gordon. >> nice to see you. >> jimmy: nice to -- it's great to see you as well. you're a stud. you're looking good. yeah. >> thank you. >> jimmy: are you happy to be -- you happy to be back on our show? >> i'm so happy to be back. last time you sent me down there, which is so unfair. 'cause you bring the worst out of me. >> jimmy: no. i don't know. because you were being naughty and you knew it. and i had to put you on the naughty -- on the naughty step.
i had to just -- because, when you come on, i get that energy -- and i got the accent as well and -- [ laughter ] and oh -- i just say -- i said you -- i said you can't, i said, enough's enough. [ light laughter ] >> i try hard. >> jimmy: yeah. in fact, i figured tonight, we have -- >> yeah. >> jimmy: we have -- and -- >> come on. >> jimmy: we have a swear jar and i brought -- [ light laughter ] >> come on. >> jimmy: now here's this. i have money. i have all this money right here. you don't have to have money. and every time you say anything wrong that i think could be this, you have to donate and it goes to a charity of my choice. [ light laughter ] or you could -- you could also not do it, and you know, and either way, i'll donate money to charity. [ cheers and applause ] you could do either one. >> i mean -- >> jimmy: i know you don't do it on purpose. >> no, i know. i know it's -- >> jimmy: and i won't, i'll try to not to get you mad because i get sometimes i get you angry and on a tangent on something. i'm not going to do it today. >> i'm lost for [ bleep ] words. [ laughter ] okay. sorry. okay. stop. we won't need anymore. >> jimmy: we won't need anymore. last time you were here you limped out. do you remember this? >> i did. >> jimmy: it was sad. >> torn achilles and -- >> jimmy: you had a giant boot on you. >> horrible.
i have size 15 feet so wearing a big [ bleep ] boot is like so [ inaudible ]. [ light laughter ] damn. >> jimmy: big sack of shame. >> so, it was like a massive sack. it's like a canoe on the end of your foot. >> jimmy: you don't wear a size 15? >> my feet are size 15. >> jimmy: that is not true. >> yeah, no, seriously. >> jimmy: look, these are size 12. >> seriously. >> jimmy: yeah, you're right. >> yeah, it's size 15. >> jimmy: not bad. >> size 15. >> jimmy: you're a big dude, man. yeah. a big dude. that -- [ laughter ] that -- >> jimmy: hey you know what. i'm doing that just for the -- >> hey! >> jimmy: that's your -- that's your fault. that's their fault. they did something -- they did something that i consider -- >> that's rude. >> jimmy: that is rude, yeah. >> that is naughty, and that is [ bleep ] disgusting. >> jimmy: no, i know, that is -- [ laughter ] >> that is so bad. sorry, sorry. >> jimmy: that one's on them. you can't -- now you -- you have to put that in there. >> oh [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: yeah. that's another one. >> oh, come on. >> jimmy: stop, stop, stop. let me talk. >> okay. [ light laughter ] what? >> jimmy: well how can you play football with those big feet?
is different in england than america. >> yeah that's -- yeah, it's soccer. >> jimmy: what do you think of american football? >> love it. in fact, i'm going to my first super bowl on sunday. >> jimmy: you really are. >> i cannot wait. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: and it's played in houston. >> yes. >> jimmy: houston's great. >> i'm -- >> jimmy: you must have been in houston, right. they have some great food in houston, man. good barbecue. >> i can't wait. although someone just told me, this was a two minutes ago, that on sunday, this country is going be eating 1.3 billion chicken wings. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yes. [ bleep ] >> that's not a a celebration. >> jimmy: what do you mean? >> that's -- how many [ bleep ] chickens is that? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: how many wings do they have? >> two wings. two wings, yeah. >> jimmy: i'm learning something every day. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i want to talk about two things. "master chef jr." you know i love every show you do. i just love it. it's great. but this one you do with kids, is awesome. because it shows the sweeter side of you. and you really -- [ laughter ] it does. it does. you're cute with the kids. you're good with them. and you only make, m,
but, you know, what's the big deal? hey, you got to grow up sometime. right? [ laughter ] >> here's the thing. they're great kids. also i think "master junior" helped them sort of give them that level of comfort they thought they never had. and also i think we mentor them. you know we get close to them. we mentor them. and they leave bloody good. i mean, really good. >> jimmy: yeah, they really do. >> so nice to see. >> jimmy: i love that. and for the adults who wt to learn from you, you're doing this new thing which i think is like the future, called masterclass.com. where you will teach everyone what you know about cooking. how to cook. and the tips and tricks. >> yes. "master class" is something quite unique because it's an online tutorial that, it's me and you in the kitchen. it's got that level of intimacy, it's togetherness and -- >> jimmy: how many lessons are there? >> there are 20 chapters. >> jimmy: and do you know the people -- what people are doing by the way? >> it launched, you know, literally, you know one minute past midnight last night. we had endless emails that people were binge watching it. >> jimmy: it broke records. everyone signed up for this
watched it like they would like a netflix show. and you go, no. [ laughter ] these are lessons. >> that's exactly what i said. 4 o'clock in the morning they're watching a filet beef wellington. or me, you know -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you have to do it with gordon. that's the fun of it. >> that's the point. i mean i think -- you know, great director, davis guggenheim. and, he got to me. you know, he opened me up. it was him and i, and it was dark. it was late. and it was -- >> jimmy: whoa, whoa, whoa -- [ laughter ] >> no. no, no, no! >> jimmy: don't google any of the stuff that he just said. >> no, but just -- in a way it was just uninterrupted -- ah -- cooking. [ laughter ] no, no. come on! >> jimmy: no, it was this guy. he opened you up and yeah, and -- it was dark. >> see this is why you're so [ bleep ] bad! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i promise. no. i didn't do anything. no. well you are describing it, it's like a "fifty shades" movie. >> no, no. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i want to play a game with you calmed "secret ingredient," okay? where it's me, you, and questlove tasting foods and there's a secret ingredient, and see who can guess it. guess what? >> go on. >> jimmy: i'm going to -- [ laughter ]
[ bleep ] off! [ applause ] >> come on. >> jimmy: i'm going to win. >> okay. >> jimmy: all right. yeah. gordon and i are playing "secret ingredient" when we come back. stick around, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ (burke) at farmers, we've seen almost everything, so we know how to cover almost anything. even a "truck-cicle." [second man] how you doing? [ice cracking] [second man] ah,ah, ah. oh no! [first man] saves us some drilling. [burke] and we covered it, february fourteenth, twenty-fifteen. talk to farmers. we know a thing or two because we've seen a thing or two. ♪ we are farmers. bum-pa-dum, bum-bum-bum-bum ♪
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>> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. i'm here with gordon ramsay, who's "masterclass" in cooking is now available on masterclass.com. questlove is joining us as well for a new game called "secret ingredient." now, we will be served a a gourmet three-course meal. but each entree has been prepared with one unusual secret ingredient. which none of us knows. it's our job to figure out what that ingredient is. and we're gonna write down our guesses. we're all getting the same thing, man. [ light laughter ] earning a point if we get it right. trust me. >> but if you destroy my palate -- >> jimmy: what? >> if you destroy my taste buds. >> jimmy: stay in your lane, girl. okay. [ laughter ] what is he doing? destroy my palate. higgins, can you tell us what our first course will be, please? >> steve: yes. to start, we have small batch smokey salmon mackey, with flying fish tobiko and young english cucumber. but can you guess the secret ingredient? bon appetite. >> jimmy: smoked salmon with topiko? oh yeah.
apart or you do you just have to eat it? >> steve: i would just eat it if i were you. ♪ eat it remember that song? >> jimmy: yeah. i do remember that song. >> steve: when you've figured it out? [ light laughter ] yeah. so good. [ laughter ] whoa! there we go. that's called a winner. [ laughter ] all right, gentlemen. write down your answers of what you think the secret ingredient was. [ laughter ] sounded like a tasty one. [ laughter ] maybe you should put this in your restaurants, gordo. [ light laughter ] okay. is everyone ready? quest, are you ready? do you know what's in there? [ coughing ] all right. ready? >> jimmy: secret ingredient. >> steve: what do you think the secret ingredient was? gordon, you go first. >> [ bleep ] no. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i'm sorry. >> steve: all right. that is -- judges? [ buzzer ] no. that is wrong. jimmy? >> jimmy: ah, i believe it was --
no, we can't do that either. >> steve: human -- >> jimmy: i'm sorry. i got that from gordon. >> steve: human or animal? >> jimmy: no i got that from -- what? >> steve: human or animal. [ laughter ] [ buzzer ] you're wrong. quest, do you know the secret ingredient is? you can win this round quest. >> questlove: yeah. i think it's called, i quit. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, no, no. you got to play the round. [ buzzer ] you got to play. >> steve: no, let's go to round two. >> jimmy: what was it? >> steve: it was a -- it was cool ranch doritos. >> oh. >> steve: cool ranch doritos. >> quest: no. >> jimmy: that was just so -- >> that was disgusting. >> steve: how could that be disgusting? >> that is -- you have destroyed. >> steve: all right. well let's try it again. cleanse your palate with a a glass of wine. for your next course our chef has prepared for you a a amuse-bouche. a foie with fermented large grain mustard and raw french vinegar bu --. >> jimmy: what? >> steve: foie. foie. >> jimmy: what does that mean? >> steve: i think it's liver. >> i'm not on a [ bleep ] diet. [ laughter ] what is that? >> jimmy: what do you mean? this is -- >> steve: all right. gentlemen, can you guess what -- >> jimmy: it's an amuse-bouche. >> steve: amuse-bouche. >> jimmy: with foie? >> steve: it's on butter-brush -- [ laughter ] a foie with fermented -- [ laugher and applause ]
but you first. >> steve: come on, you first. secret ingredient. can you guess what it is? put it in your mouth. come on. [ laughter ] ♪ come on! [ cheers ] [ laughter ] >> quest: i'm gonna throw up. [ cheers and applause ] [ laughter ] >> steve: you hear anything? all right. gentlemen, do you know what it is? jimmy, do you want to write down your answer? quest. write down your answer. you've had worse things in your mouth. okay. [ laughter ] [ audience ohs ] all right. you got to write down your answer. >> jimmy: i'm just trying to swallow that, no -- [ coughing ] >> steve: hey -- hey! >> jimmy: watch it buddy. >> steve: oh, boy. oh, brother. hmm. [ laughter ] judas priest. you got it written down? ready? okay.
>> jimmy: no, i don't know what it is anymore. >> steve: okay. gordon what did you think the secret ingredient was? >> quill [ bleep ] with popping candy. [ laughter ] >> steve: judges? [ buzzer ] yes -- oh, no! come on? half point? no? [ bell ] all right, half point for gordon. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: quest, what did you write? what? >> jimmy: i have no -- i have no clue. >> steve: what? >> jimmy: i can't even -- i thought honey, maybe. i thought -- i don't know. >> steve: what? quest wrote. >> quest: i said what gordon and jimmy said. >> jimmy: yeah. no, no. >> steve: that's half a point. >> quest: yeah, it's definitely -- >> steve: it was pop rocks. pop rocks. >> pop rocks. >> steve: american candy treat from the -- >> that is shocking. >> steve: kids love it. parents hate it. all right. now this last round -- >> jimmy: pop rocks. >> steve: is worth 1,000 points. >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: now, everyone knows, no meal is complete without dessert. so this time our chef -- our chef has made a slow roasted chioggia beet and bittersweet
chocolate queen of sheba cake with beet creme fraiche. but can you guess the ingredient secret? >> jimmy: have you ever seen "the help?" [ laughter ] [ cheers ] ♪ >> steve: have you seen "the help?" goodness gravy. okay. gordon, do you know what it is? everybody, write down your answers. for 1,000 points, 1,000 points. 1,000 points. ten groups of ten. all right. gordon's done. jimmy are you done? quest, are you done? >> jimmy: yeah. i think i know what it is. >> steve: quest has to write down his answer. >> jimmy: gordon. >> steve: gordon, what was the secret ingredient? >> a log of [ bleep ]. >> steve: log of [ bleep ]. [ buzzer ] judges, no. it was not a log. jimmy? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i would say dogs biscuits. >> steve: dog biscuits.
[ buzzer ] no. quest? >> jimmy: unhappy face? >> steve: unhappy quest. [ buzzer ] the correct answer was, ground up crickets. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh! that's what it was. there you go. okay. my thanks to gordon ramsay. [ cheers and applause ] questlove, steve higgins. we'll be right back with alessia cara, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ bite into magnum double caramel... ♪ and unleash your wild side. ♪ ♪ made with silky vanilla bean ice cream and rich belgian chocolate. ♪ discover magnum.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest is only 20 years old and already has two number one singles to her name. her debut album "know it all" is available now and you can catch her performing this weekend on "saturday night live" with guest host kristen stewart. ladies and gentlemen, please welcome alessia cara! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪
>> jimmy: welcome. >> thank you. >> jimmy: welcome back to the show and i'm just so excited for you and happy for you. >> thank you. >> jimmy: because when you first performed on our show -- was it two years ago? three? >> what was it? a year and a half ago, i think? almost two years ago, yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. i meant this was -- i think you were a tv debut or late night definitely debut. >> yes, yes. >> jimmy: and it was a big deal for us, because we were so excited to have you perform. i think you sang "here," but it was so good, and you told me this great story how you came once with your school? >> yeah, yeah. it was, i think, either late 2012, or early 2013. i was a theater student in high school. so we took, like, a trip to new york for the first time. i was like, you know, a little drama club thing, and they took us to the nbc studio set and i believe it was still "late night." >> jimmy: yeah. >> the "late night" set, but i got in and i was like, "this is crazy." and i stood on your like monologue mark. and like, "i'm going to be here one day." and this tour guide was like, "okay yeah, let's keep going."
[ laughter ] and i tried to touch your desk and they didn't let me. so -- >> jimmy: yeah, absolutely, yeah, yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> you know. >> jimmy: no, i'm so happy. when you told me that story i just felt so cool. like, i'm so happy that you are doing it. you're making your dreams come true. i remember after you performed in -- it was knockout performance -- >> thank you. >> jimmy: i walked you up to the monologue mark. >> yeah. that's so full circle. thank you. >> jimmy: and i said, just stand it now. and now, this is it, on national tv. >> yeah, it felt really awesome. thank you. >> jimmy: yeah. no, please. i never forget your thanks, because i went to thank you and you forgot to shake my hand. >> oh no, yeah, yeah! >> jimmy: you forgot to shake my hand on the show. [ cheers and applause ] and i went -- it's all right. no big deal. >> you know what? i think i actually -- i felt so bad about that. i didn't even sleep, because i was like, oh, my goodness. i didn't thank him enough. so i got your e-mail somehow by one of the people who booked the show. and i e-mailed you, saying like, "i'm so sorry i didn't shake your hand. i feel like i didn't say 'thank you' enough." so somewhere in your e-mail, there's an e-mail from me.
please, you know we love you. we've had you back and now you're on "saturday night live." >> yeah. >> jimmy: isn't that fun? >> that's pretty fun, yeah. >> jimmy: i mean, wow. >> kind of scary. >> jimmy: i'm excited for you. this is amazing. >> thank you. >> jimmy: because again, talking about one of your tweets. this is a tweet from 2 2012 that said "i want to go on 'snl' one day." >> go on. >> jimmy: not i want to go to "snl" one day, which is what normal people write. you wrote, "i want to go on 'snl.'" >> on "snl." great grammar, me. >> jimmy: yeah. i want to go on. >> what year was this? >> jimmy: i want to be on. >> 2012. >> jimmy: but i mean, that's 2012 and now you actually are going to be on "saturday night live." >> on "saturday night live." that's crazy. >> jimmy: you're just predicting -- [ cheers and applause ] >> i am. i should start tweeting things more often. >> jimmy: yeah, you're predicting -- and you're on the show with kristen stewart who we just love. man, she's so fun. >> she's so cool. >> jimmy: give her our best. we just saw her yesterday. she probably doesn't care. [ laughter ] but i was thinking maybe it would be kind of fun tonight to put something else out in the universe. something else you want to do, a future goal. and then maybe see if that can just happen. you say it tonight, and just hold hands and hold the desk. [ light laughter ] >> hold the desk.
do eventually in a couple -- in the future? >> i think one of the things i would like to do, one of the many things, of course, is i think i would want to voice a a character in, like, an animation movie one day. are my eyes supposed to be closed? >> jimmy: no, i didn't know. [ laughter ] i just did the same thing. i did the same thing. i've never done this before. [ light laughter ] >> yeah, me neither. >> jimmy: let's do it again and with your eyes open. >> all right. i would like to voice -- >> jimmy: i would like to voice -- >> both: a character in an animation movie. >> animated movie. >> jimmy: motion picture. >> animated movie, motion picture, film, one day. [ cheers and applause ] let's play this back one day. >> jimmy: i think it will be good. >> i hope so. >> jimmy: because you -- you do different voices, and you do also -- i mean, gosh. you can sing. >> thank you. >> jimmy: and actually, i thought it would be fun tonight if we did a thing called "music impressions," where you get to do some and i get to do some. [ cheers and applause ] it would be fun, yeah. it's time for "wheel of musical impressions." here we go. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ wheel of musical impressions ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: all right. here's how it works. we're gonna takeur
impressions generator and land on one random singer that we can do an impression of, and then one random song title. whoever's turn it is, has to do an impression of that musician singing that song. >> okay. >> jimmy: okay, good. >> why am i more nervous for this than my actual performance? [ laughter ] okay. >> jimmy: no, please, this is good for you. >> here we go. >> jimmy: alessia, go first. [ beeping ] >> oh, okay. [ light laughter ] okay. "skidamarink." >> jimmy: " skidamarink," okay. okay, i remember that. "skidamarink." okay, ariana grande doing "skidamarink." >> all right. >> jimmy: roots? ♪ ♪ oh oh baby [ cheers and applause ] ♪ skinnamarinky dinky dink skinnamarinky do i love you ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ skinnamarinky dinky dink skinnamarinky do i love you ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: come on! how do i follow that?
that's unbelievable. >> i added christina aguilera's growl at the beginning. >> jimmy: that's a hit song. i like that. >> thank you. >> jimmy: that was actually awesome. what do i have? i can't do this. [ beeping ] sting. [ light laughter ] empire carpet -- oh. [ laughter ] >> that's my favorite jingle. >> jimmy: that's the 1-800. >> yeah. >> jimmy: can we dim the lights a little bit? ♪ ♪ 800-588-2300 empire ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: come on. i'm off my game. i'm off my game today. okay. you're up. >> that was great. that was great. >> jimmy: thank you, thank you. go for it, pal. >> whoo! am i hitting it -- >> jimmy: yeah, you can go. >> okay. [ beeping ] [ audience ohs ] [ cheers and applause ] >> yeah! oh great. okay. >> jimmy: nicki minaj doing the "fresh prince" theme song. >> this is going to be weak. i'm sorry. i'm sorry, nicki minaj. ♪
>> one, two, three. ♪ now this is a story all about how my life got flipped turned upside down ♪ ♪ and i'd like to take a minute just sit right there i'll tell you ♪ ♪ how i became the queen of a town called bel air ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: what? oh, my gosh! fantastic! oh, my gosh, that was so good, man. oh, she's going to love it. she's going to love it. that is awesome. oh, of course she will. wow. that was great. i don't know why i'm even playing this. [ beeping ] >> ah. >> jimmy: these things. [ laughter ] that's so old, i can't hit these high notes from these people. >> yes, you can. >> jimmy: i used to be able to. all right. all right, here we go. ♪ ♪ eenie meenie minie mo catch a tiger by the toe
if he hollers let him go eenie meenie minie mo ♪ ♪ yeah yeah yeah [ cheers and applause ] >> yes! now, i have to go after that. >> jimmy: i'm out of breath. [ laughter ] >> yeah. >> jimmy: i'm out of breath from singing that impression. >> i thought you couldn't hit the notes anymore? >> jimmy: i can't hit that anymore. that was all lip-synching. [ laughter ] >> that was actually me. that's why they didn't show me. yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: one more time, please. just please, anyone, anyone, please. this is fun. [ beeping ] >> i'm really nervous. lorde. >> jimmy: i love lorde. >> me too. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: "baa baa" -- all right, lorde, ba ba black sheep. >> gotta get the hand. the claw. >> jimmy: yeah, she does do that. >> she does. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. ♪ ♪ baa baa black sheep have you any wool yes sir yes sir three bags full ♪ ♪ne
one for the little boy who lives down the lane ♪ ♪ baa baa black sheep have you any wool yes sir yes sir three bags full ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you can't top that! you can't top that! alessia cara! [ cheers and applause ] we'll be right back with the experts from "ask this old house"! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ how do you become america's best-selling brand? you're not going to make it. do you think you can make it? uhh... make it... every time. nice! going further to keep drivers moving freely. that's ford...
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: for 15 seasons, our next guests have put their expertise to work on the cbs home improvement show, "ask this old house." please welcome the show's host, kevin o'connor. [ cheers and applause ] general contractor tom silva. [ cheers and applause ] heating and plumbing expert, richard trethewey and landscape contractor, roger cook right there. [ cheers and applause ] there you go! ♪ always good to see you guys. i love having you on the show. welcome back. congratulations on 15 seasons. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i can't believe it's been 15 seasons already. but you're about to have
what else is going on? >> well, we're excited to be back. we're thrilled about 15 of years of "ask this old house." 37 years of "this old house." but as you know, we travel the country, we make house calls. and next week we go to our final state. we've actually got to drag our butts all the way out to hawaii. [ audience aws ] >> jimmy: what a tough job you have. really, there's not an old house somewhere in the country that -- yeah, exactly. right? >> but, we also got a great announcement for the next season. which is that we got this thing called "generation x," and we're partnering with mike rowe. >> jimmy: oh, i love him. yeah, "dirty jobs." >> "dirty jobs," exactly. so, the message is that we got to get more people, young people, into the building trades. we need more plumbers. we need more carpenters, landscapers. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: get a skill. get a skill. >> scholarships to these kids to get in to the skilled trades, to close that gap. seven million of these jobs go in the asking in the next seven years. >> jimmy: and what's it called? >> it is "generation x." x. >> jimmy: yeah. >> but anyway, we got some great latest and greatest technology around the home to show you. >> jimmy: yeah, i want to know -- what have you got? >> all right, i know how hard
i mean, it's not easy to be the funniest guy in the business, right? >> jimmy: i love you. that's all the time we have. that's all the time we have. we're outta time. [ laughter ] >> you come home on saturday. >> jimmy: yeah. >> sitting in the house, you want to sit in the backyard. go out, you go, "oh." got to cut the lawn. where's the lawn mower? where's the gas? where's the oil? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you know me so well. absolutely. >> no mower. >> my god, yeah. >> jimmy: a push mower. >> guys, i have you a robotic mower. it's all battery operated. >> jimmy: this is brilliant. this is like a lawn mower roomba. [ light laughter ] >> clicking. you hear it starting? >> jimmy: yeah. okay. >> there it goes. it senses, it hits something. it stops and it will turn right away. watch this. >> jimmy: really? does it just go around? >> just keeps going and going. >> jimmy: why is it coming at me? [ laughter ] i don't understand why -- >> put your foot out. put your foot out! put your foot out. put your foot out. put your foot out. >> yeah. >> jimmy: so it's safe? >> it's amazing. now, you can put a wire out and the wire will stop it or anything it hits, it just stops, turns around and it
keeps going until it cuts the whole yard. >> jimmy: but look at this. this is a cool thing. so say you have a punk kid next door that wants to steal your lawn mower. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and put in there -- >> try it. >> try it. lift up on that. point it down. >> let's go. let's take it -- [ piercing sound ] >> see what i'm saying? >> jimmy: really calming sound. how do i turn that off? [ laughter ] this is great. forget the -- >> there you go. >> jimmy, come with me. >> jimmy: thank you, buddy. thank you, roger. >> you know, jimmy, the toilet has not changed too much in about 100 years. >> jimmy: oh, i saw this. this is so exciting. i'm excited -- it's a robot toilet. >> until now. this is the toilet of the future. >> jimmy: yeah, who makes this one? >> this is actually kohler. >> jimmy: okay, good, good, good. kohler, yeah. >> all right, so, now, when you stand -- can you stand right next to it? >> jimmy: sure. >> this thing is -- >> jimmy: oh! [ cheers and applause ] >> it knows he's here. could you step back? >> jimmy: oh, sorry. >> it has a little touch screen right here. >> jimmy: yes, of course. you need this. >> and it can actually lift -- >> jimmy: why do anything? yes. of course. >> now, this seat actually is heated, too. so you can feel it right here. it's really nice on a cold gh
[ light laughter ] and it has a night-light. it has a night-light so you can find it. >> jimmy: yeah. yeah, i definitely need a a night-light in my toilet. [ laughter ] okay. >> what's also built into this is a bidet. americans don't really know bidets. they normally have separate fixtures with hot and cold water. >> jimmy: yeah. >> this one's built right in. >> now, it has a sensor in it, so it won't come on unless you're sitting down. >> jimmy: okay. >> we're not gonna do that. put your hand right there. you be one cheek, i'll be the other. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you finally made it in show business. [ laughter ] we've done it. >> so now, it comes out. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: look at that. >> ready? >> jimmy: yeah. there it is. oh! >> jimmy: there you go, that's good. >> it can also be a face washer, too. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: it's so good. get the kids around. like a water fountain. >> now what it does, it pulls back and cleans it with uv lights. it has a dryer to dry you. [ laughter ] and when you're done -- >> jimmy: and a stylist styles you as well. >> and when you leave -- and when you leave -- >> jimmy: yup. >> it actually closes and flushes by itself. >> jimmy: i want this. i love it! [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you.
i don't want to get hurt, guys. >> no, no. we don't -- anybody that doesn't want to get hurt. but this is a table saw. all right? and there's hundreds of thousands of these used every day by the construction trade and by homeowners. >> jimmy: dangerous. >> very dangerous. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and about 65,000 accidents a a year. >> jimmy: oh, i know. >> people nicked their fingers, cut their fingers off and even cut their hand off. >> jimmy: cut it right off? absolutely. >> very dangerous saw. >> jimmy: i don't want anything to do with this. yeah. [ laughter ] >> this saw and another manufacturer make the same feature that i'm gonna show you right here. now, what happens is, there's a a low voltage electrical charge that's sent to the blade. and if skin gets near it, it automatically disappears. let me show you. now, i don't want to use my hand. [ light laughter ] and i'm pretty sure -- >> jimmy: well, then -- [ talking over each other ] >> jimmy: we gotta go to commercial. [ laughter ] >> all right. >> so you don't want to use your hand. all right? so what i'm going to do, is i'm going to substitute -- >> jimmy: i cahe
headphones. [ light laughter ] >> i'm going to substitute a a hot dog in place of my finger. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: was that just in the bidet? [ light laughter ] >> all right. all right, so now what i'm going to do, is i'm gonna turn the saw on. >> jimmy: never put your hot dog near a table saw, you guys. [ laughter ] >> i'm gonna turn the saw on. i'm gonna make one cut without the hot dog, and another one with the hot dog and let's see what happens. >> jimmy: all right, buddy. >> you ready? >> jimmy: yeah. be careful. >> hey! >> piece of cake. >> jimmy: yup. >> now my finger -- >> jimmy: there's the hot dog. >> goes on the wood. >> jimmy: come on. it's gonna go flying. >> now i'm not paying attention and i'm going to cut. >> jimmy: there you go. cocktail weenies! is that supposed to happen? [ laughter ] i got to go to the robot toilet, hold on a second. [ laughter ] gotta go to the robot, be right back. [ cheers and applause ] >> it will just be a minute. [ laughter ] >> fire up the bidet.
slow motion? did that work? that worked perfectly, right? >> if you look at the hot dog -- >> watch this. >> there's not a nick on it. >> jimmy: look at this. >> oh, yes! >> jimmy: didn't even touch the hot dog. look at that. that's unbelievable. [ cheers and applause ] you guys, i love you. thank you so much for stopping by. kevin o'connor, tom silva, richard trethewey, roger cook. [ cheers and applause ] check your local listings for "ask this old house." we'll be right back with more "tonight show." stick around, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my thanks to gordon ramsay, alessia cara, the experts from "ask this old house"! [ cheers and applause ] and the roots, right there, from philadelphia, pennsylvania. [ cheers and applause ] stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching. have a great weekend. i hope to see you next week. thank you. bye-bye, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> fred: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night, with seth meyers." tonight, amy schumer, from "rupauls drag race," rupaul, music from panic! at the disco, featuring the 8g band with vinnie colaiuta. ladies and gentlemen, th meyers. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] that's great to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. president trump gave his first speech to a joint session of congress last night. and good news, everybody. he's normal now. [ light laughter ] so our work here is done. when you tune inom