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tv   The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon  NBC  March 28, 2017 11:34pm-12:36am EDT

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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center in the heart of new york city, it's "the tonight show starring jimmy fallon." tonight, join jimmy and his guests -- jason segel, lilly singh,
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and featuring the legendary roots crew. >> questlove: 648, yeah! >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey! that is a hot crowd. that is a hot new york city crowd! welcome, everybody! welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome to -- welcome to "the tonight show," baby. this is it. [ cheers and applause ] "the tonight show." we got a good one tonight. here's what people areki
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it's been a rough feys just 36%. [ audience oohs ] trump was confused, he said, "how can you disapprove of a a job i'm not even doing? [ laughter and applause ] fake poll." trump's approval rating is at just 36%, which is even lower than obama's ever was. the only time obama came close to that was when he had that meeting with trump. [ laughter and applause ] came close. >> steve: wow. >> jimmy: actually, trump's approval rating is worst than obama's lowest, and worse than bill clinton's lowest. after hearing this, trump promised to hunt down bin laden and sleep with an intern. >> steve: really? [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: to see if that works out. >> steve: wow. [ cheers ] >> jimmy: just see if that works out. >> steve: yeah, see what happens. >> jimmy: but trump is now polling lower than a lot of things. for example, he's less popular than sitting on a warm subway seat. >> steve: wow. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: that's disgusting. that's the worst. >> steve: that's not popular. >> jimmy: yeah
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he's less popular than vague text s that say, "do you have time to talk later, it's important." [ light laughter ] god. >> steve: oh. >> jimmy: that's not good. >> steve: that's not popular, at all. >> jimmy: he's unpopular. he's less popular than biting into a cookie and realizing that the chocolate chip is a a raisin. >> steve: oh! [ audience ohs ] >> jimmy: that's the absolute -- that's the worst. >> steve: that's unpopular. >> jimmy: he's polling less than that, yeah. >> steve: really? >> jimmy: he's less popular than youtube ads that you can't skip after five seconds. >> steve: what? [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: don't make me watch the whole thing! [ cheers ] >> steve: that's the unpopular dance. >> jimmy: he's less popular than wet doorknobs. you know what i'm saying? >> steve: oh! ♪ hey! [ light laughter ] that's unpopular. >> jimmy: finally, trump is even polling lower than people who pronounce chipotle as chipolte. >> steve: yeah! [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: that's what i'm saying. i couldn't even pronounce it. >> steve: no. that's not popular. >> jimmy: i'm still angry about that raisin. [ light laughter ] >> steve: have a cookie.
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that's not a chockie chip. >> steve: that's health food. >> jimmy: that's an oat ma goat. not a chockie chip. >> steve: yeah. you want a chocko chippo. >> jimmy: everything's got little pet names now. [ light laughter ] meanwhile, i saw that trump went on a twitter rant about the failure of the republican health care bill last night. then blaming a bunch of people for the situation, that might explain this new commercial i saw. >> from the creators of life and yahtzee, comes a new board game specially designed for president trump. "the blame game." just roll the dice to see who you should blame for your latest presidential failure. paul ryan, nancy pelosi, the freedom caucus, whoops, you landed on yourself. [ laughter and applause ] that can't be true, go back five spaces to don jr. if things get too hard, just move your piece over to mar-a-lago and collect $2 million of taxpayer money. "the blame game." for presidents ages 70 and up. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that looks fun.
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well, hey, this isn't good. it just came out, that trump's son-in-law, jared kushner, had an undisclosed meeting with a a russian bank, that was under sanctions by obama. [ audience oohs ] when he heard his son-in-law was having meetings with shady russians, trump said, "you could start calling me dad." [ laughter and applause ] sean spicer was asked about trump's involvement with russia again at his press briefing today. sean spicer, man. [ light laughter ] listen to how he responded to this here. >> i've said it from the day that i got here until whatever, that there is no connection. you've got russia. if the president puts russian salad dressing on his salad tonight, somehow that's a a russian connection. [ laughter ] >> steve: come on. >> jimmy: trump said, "that's ridiculous. i would never eat a salad. never."
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it's actually funny that spicer mentions food though, because at yesterday's press briefing people noticed he had food in his teeth. [ audience ohs ] spicer had so much food in his mouth, he barely had room for his foot. >> steve: really? [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: we have a great show tonight! give it up for the roots, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we have a fun show tonight, we love this guy! the star of the new netflix film "the discovery," jason segel is here tonight! >> steve: oh! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: talented guy. >> steve: lovely man. >> jimmy: plus, she is a a youtube superstar who just wrote her first book, "how to be a bawse." [ cheers ] lilly singh is the raddest. and also, we have stand-up from
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ever, oh, my goodness, we love [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: he's gonna do and-up. if you've never seen brian reagan, it's a treat, tonight. but also, we're going to talk and he has a very special announcement. [ audience oohs ] and he's gonna tell us, officially. yeah, it'll be cool. guys, as everyone knows, president trump is in the news all the time. but there's so much focus on him, that it makes it a little hard to get to know his cabinet. so to help you guys out, we wanted to show you some pictures of members of his administration. but we thought it would be a a little more fun if we can kids draw them. [ light laughter ] it's time for "tonight show kid art," here we go. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ kid art kid art kids ♪ >> jimmy: let's take a look at our first one. we have secretary of agriculture, sonny perdue. and here's a drawing of sonny perdue sent in by winnie rose fallon, my 3-year-old. [ audience aws ] look at -- [ laughter and applause ] that's pretty good. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: she did her homework. >> steve: looks like a who.
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yeah. ve.steve: yeah.d. >> steve: that's a better picture. >> jimmy: that's a big help. thank you, winnie. [ audience aws ] next is secretary of education, betsy devos. here's a drawing of betsy. that was sent in by christie who's six. [ laughter and applause ] got the claw in there and everything, yeah. i also like how she spelled it b-e-t-s-e. >> steve: yeah, betse. >> jimmy: the only other person who spells it like that is betsy devos. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: next is the secretary of commerce, wilbur ross. he's got a friendly face. [ audience aws ] here's a drawing of wilbur ross, that was sent in by noah. [ laughter and applause ] that's fantastic. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: kind of looks like a a cartoon. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: great job, noah. next up is secretary of housing and urban development, ben carson. here's a drawing of ben carson
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is six. it looks like his feet -- >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: it looks like -- >> steve: it looks like he fell asleep and fell over. >> jimmy: that's how he -- that's how ben carson sleeps. >> steve: that's how he has his meetings. [ light laughter ] we're gonna talk about housing. >> jimmy: he sleeps like a dead bug, yeah. next up is one of president's senior advisers, stephen miller. now he looks like a happy guy, doesn't he? >> steve: he looks super happy. >> jimmy: here's a drawing of stephen that was sent in by billy, who is five. [ light laughter ] i don't understand. >> steve: looks like a muppet. >> jimmy: he has blue hair. does he have, like, a neck beard? >> steve: yeah. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: pretty good, man. i like it. >> steve: captured his soul. >> jimmy: next up is secretary of state rex tillerson. [ audience ohs ] here's a drawing of rex sent in by addison. let's see if she captured his concerned look. not bad. [ applause ] >> steve: not bad.
quote
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here's a drawing of him sent in by molly, who is nine. [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: what are those things? are those drones? >> jimmy: he looks so cute, yeah. you know who he looks like? who's that artist, bill -- is it bill plympton? >> questlove: yeah, bill plympton. >> steve: no, he was an author. >> jimmy: yeah, i think it might be bill plympton. >> questlove: yeah, he used to do work with frank zappa. >> jimmy: yeah, he'd do stuff, yeah. >> steve: raplh steadman. >> jimmy: bill, what? >> questlove: bill plympton. [ light laughter ] >> steve: you're thinking of ralph stedman. >> questlove:no, bill plympton. >> steve: bill plympton was a a writer. bill plympton was a writer, ralph steadman drew all the -- >> jimmy: i think it might, let me check, does this thing work? [ light laughter ] we have it on the desk every night, never used it. i think he's right, i'm going to say it's bill plympton. [ light laughter ] >> steve: i'm going to see, because you might be cheating. >> jimmy: bill plympton. yeah, it's bill plympton. >> questlove: i used to have nightmares about bill plympton, when i was like, three. >> steve: oh, with a "y." >> questlove: yeah. >> steve: bill plympton with a a "y."
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>> jimmy: get out of here! [ cheers and applause comen. i was thinking of bill plimpton who wrote, you know, "paper tigers." >> jimmy: stick a head through the dude's ear, it would come out the other. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: anyways. >> questlove: nightmares. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. it's pretty, pretty, pretty cool stuff. >> steve: that still doesn't explain what those blue things were floating in the sky on the drawing. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: they're just fun, man. here's another drawing of mike pence that was sent in by an 8-year-old named lance. [ laughter and applause ] all right. got the cheeks down. got the cheekbones. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: next up is white house press secretary sean spicer. this is a great one. this is sent in by anthony who is eight. [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: oh wow! look at the tie. the detail on the tie. >> jimmy: great job, anthony. >> steve: good job, anthony. >> jimmy: next up is kellyanne conway. [ audience ohs ] this was a drawing of her sent in by georgie who's six. [ laughter and applause ] pretty good.
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all right. it was sent in by ellis, who's ten. here we go. there you go. that's it right there. [ cheers and applause ] that's all the time we have for "tonight show" kid art. my thanks to all the kids who took time out of their busy schedules to send in drawings. stick around, we'll be right back with "battle of the instant song writers." [ cheers and applause ] ♪ don't look now but chuck norris is right behind you. i heard superheroes read chuck norris comics. i heard at night, the boogeyman checks under the bed for chuck. i heard cats say they have chuck-like reflexes. do you think he's still got it? i bet you a buck he catches this salt shaker. you're on! hey! chuck! you owe me a buck. you can't always see what's coming but when you choose unitedhealthcare, finding an in-network doctor that's close to home is easy. so what happened? i had lunch with chuck norris.
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edhealthcare. .and hello to t-mobile one. right now, get two lines of unlimited data for a hundred bucks. taxes and fees included! two lines, a hundred dollars, all in, all unlimited. switch today. hashtag stuffy nose. hashtag no sleep. hashtag mouthbreather. just put on a breathe right strip. it instantly opens your nose up to 38% more than cold medicine alone. shut your mouth and
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say goodnight mouthbreathers. breathe right. beereti. one day my wife came home and said, "you're driving me crazy." so, i figured ok, well as much coffee as i drink in my life starbucks was a logical place to work. when i first heard of cold brew i was like, "we got iced coffee, why are we doing this?" until i drank it. cold brew, you coarse grind it. and let it sit for 20 hours in cold water. it really is very smooth. i'm hooked. i love it.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody! welcome back to the "tonight show." thank you for watching. thank you for being here. you guys, earlier today on snapchat, adam levine and i did an instant song challenge where you gave us song titles, and we made up songs on the spot. still might be up there. i don't know how snapchat works really. [ light laughter ] but i thought it would be fun to try that with our audience. [ cheers and applause ] it is time for battle of the instant songwriters! here we go. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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welcome to battle of the instant songwriters. before the show, we went through our great audience, and picked out two people who said they were musicians. [ light laughter ] we gave them each a made up song title, and then gave them one hour to write an original song based on that title. here's a shot of them practicing backstage one minute ago. he looks a little high energy. a little more energy. [ laughter ] well i can't wait to see what they came up with. let's -- it's time to meet them right now. come on over, guys! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ hi. [ talking over each other ] >> jimmy: hi, nice to see you. welcome to the show. thank you. let's start with contestant number one. what is your name and where are you from? >> my name is amy. i'm from brooklyn, new york. >> hey, all right! [ cheers and applause ] brooklyn! you're just saying that to get the crowd on your side. yeah, i know. what was the title of the song that you were given? >> it's called "i saw a ghost on spring break." [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: ooh.
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you could party with a ghost. i don't know. what instrument will you be playing tonight? >> guitar. >> jimmy: all right. cool. all right. please take a seat on the stage. now, ladies and gentlemen, here to perform the world premiere of the soon to be classic "i saw a ghost on spring break," it is amy! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ lying on the beach sun block on my nose open my eyes and i saw a ghost ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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but that wouldn't do you tried to woo me you couldn't fool me ♪ ♪ i saw right through you ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, my goodness! ♪ yeah! whoa! whoa! wow! hey! that was incredible! [ cheers and applause ] that was unbelievable. were you -- were you -- were you on "the voice"? >> i was. >> jimmy: yeah? you were? >> yes. >> jimmy: last season? >> season nine. >> jimmy: i saw you. >> you did? >> jimmy: yeah. >> no. >> jimmy: that's why i recognized you. >> stop. >> jimmy: oh my god. that's so rad. what's your name again? >> amy. >> jimmy: amy, yeah. what's your last name? >> vachal. >> jimmy: amy vachal, that's so cool. hey. good luck. >> yeah.
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>> jimmy: it's not very fair. random audience member. i didn't know. what's your name, and what tv show have you been on? [ laughter ] >> jimmy fallon show. my name's josh. >> jimmy: josh, where are you from, josh? >> i'm originally from baltimore. i've been in new york for ten years. [ cheers and applause ] i love new york. i love baltimore, too. >> jimmy: please tell everyone what your song title is. >> "cheeto in my speedo." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you lucked out. you got a great title. >> yeah. i like it. >> jimmy: yeah, we're pretty fair here. [ light laughter ] >> looks like a good competition. >> jimmy: what -- what instrument will you be playing tonight? >> guitar. >> jimmy: all right, very good. take a seat over there on that stool. get ready. get in the zone. [ cheers and applause ] the talent, the inspiration. ready? now, ladies and gentlemen, get ready for the world premiere of "cheeto in my speedo" by josh! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ when springtime's skies are blue and there's one thing i'm dreaming just to do ♪ ♪ he lost my daisy dukes and head on down to the swimming hole with you ♪ ♪ and even though the weather's just a cool 45 don't believe that i've ever felt so alive ♪ ♪ i've got a cheeto in my speedo and it's flaming hot for you ♪ ♪ hand me that floppy old pool noodle and we'll sing toodle doodle do ♪ ♪ but the cheeto in my speedo would stretch a thousand miles for you ♪ ♪ but the water was getting cold i looked down at my poor noodle ♪ ♪ it was a tiny cheese doodle ♪ ♪
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reat!ers and applause ] was that was unbelievable! holy mackerel! wow! wow! that was fantastic! give it up once again for these guys! [ cheers and applause ] oh, my gosh. you are talented. two talented people. guys, now it's time to see who won. this is a tough one, man. so we're going to let our great audience decide the winner. was it amy? [ cheers and applause ] or was it josh? [ cheers and applause ] the winner is amy! congratulations! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] you'll be going home with $1,000 and a "tonight show" notebook for writing more songs. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and no one goes home empty-handed. josh, you will get an envelope for $500. [ cheers and applause ] >> oh thank you so much.
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>> jimmy: keep writing. man, oh man. isn't that great? these instant songwriters! [ cheers and applause ] stick around, we'll be right back with jason segel, everybody! unbelievable! ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. weren't they fantastic, those singers? weren't they great? [ cheers and applause ] they were fantastic. so many talented people in this world. oh, my gosh. guys, my first guest is a very funny man and a very talented actor. he stars in the new movie, "the discovery," which premieres on netflix and in select theaters this friday. please welcome, the always entertaining, our pal, jason segel, everyone! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ >> jimmy: welcome back. >> thank you. >> jimmy: you're looking sharp. >> thanks, thanks. thank you very much. [ cheers ] >> jimmy: that's a lot of love for you. that must feel good, right. >> right. >> jimmy: we love having you on the show. >> thanks. >> jimmy: we missed you. i don't get to see you enough because -- >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: you kind of moved to, like, a small town somewhere, right? >> yeah, yeah, yeah. i moved, like, a couple of hours out of l.a., and i live in, like, a little real small town, kind of out of it a a little bit, which is nice. >> jimmy: do fans still come up to you and, like -- >> no. people don't care so much about me at all in the town, which is nice. [ laughter ] we've been on a little, like eight cities in 10 days college town. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. >> so, that's been a little bit more because people love "how i met your mother" a lot. [ cheers and applause ] yeah. >> jimmy: sweet.
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you and i are similar in this. i'm, like, the least a celebrity. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, exactly. >> if you saw robert deniro, you would be afraid. >> jimmy: yeah. >> but people run up and, like -- >> jimmy: hug you? >> like, "marshall!" [ laughter ] which is great. >> jimmy: no, that's fun. it's the best. >> but they always want the selfie. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and then, i've noticed they say something kind of interesting. they say, "my friends will never believe me." >> jimmy: yeah, they do say that. >> like they're the friends who make up weird lies about, like, running into celebrities. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: maybe that's true, but i never thought about that. maybe they have a problem, like lying. >> yeah, like, "i saw ted danson at the coffee shop." >> jimmy: yeah, it's like, "no, you did not." yeah. >> "no, you didn't. liar, weird liar." >> jimmy: "picture or it didn't happen." yeah. >> yeah. they want proof. >> jimmy: yeah, but -- >> so i started realizing, like, i'm not really, like, getting anything out of this exchange. >> jimmy: yeah. [ light laughter ] >> so i want at least to have some amusement. >> jimmy: yeah. >> so i, instead of taking photos now, i asked them if they'll take a walking video. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: what is a walking video? >> well s
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[ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. yeah, exactly. >> yeah. "can we take a selfie?" and i say, "well, i'd actually -- i'd rather take a a walking video." [ light laughter ] they say, "what's a walking video?" i say, "oh, give me your phone." and then, they give me their phone, and then, i push record on the video. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and then, i start walking. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: this is genius. >> yeah, i brought you one to check out. >> jimmy: let me see. here's the walking video. this is what jason segel's been up to. [ laughter ] >> this is a cool walking video. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: first of all, you couldn't have said -- how nice of those people. >> they were the nicest. i let it go for, like, way too long. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. >> they didn't know what to do at one point. >> jimmy: no. >> that's what's the greatest. i won't respond to any questions or anything. [ light laughter ] t
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sometimes, they start narrating the video like i don't know it's for. they're like, "this is jim walking down the street with jason segel." [ laughter ] "just saying what's up." >> jimmy: oh, i love it. >> yeah, it's great. >> jimmy: but you'd also -- i see you take photos, too because this kind of made me laugh. >> well, this is where it changed. [ light laughter ] so -- >> jimmy: this is where you -- >> yeah. i was in newport, rhode island, filming "the discovery," and the u.p.s. man asked if we could take a picture. and i said, "yes, of course. i would love to." and so, we took this picture. but then, he, like, very early on hashtagged it, "the discovery poster." so then, when you would google "the discovery," which is like a provocative film about the afterlife -- [ laughter ] this would come up. >> jimmy: i love -- i love this -- >> yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i love the way -- the world -- the world is so fun right now. >> yeah. >> jimmy: it's the wild, wild west. >> yeah. >> jimmy: what is wrong with perople? >> so, the robert redford, rooney mara drama looks like a a '90s sitcom.
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[ laughter and applause ] >> totally. >> jimmy: oh, gosh. that's hilarious. >> yeah. >> jimmy: this is not the poster for "the discovery." >> that's right. >> jimmy: that is on netflix and in select theaters. what is "the discovery" about? >> okay. well, the discovery is sort of, like, a -- maybe a sci-fi love story. >> jimmy: mm-hmm. >> it's about a scientist, robert redford, who has proven the existence of the afterlife -- >> jimmy: there is? >> that there is life after death. and the unexpected consequences that everyone who's unhappy just starts killing themselves. >> jimmy: yeah. >> to get to the other side to start over. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] yeah, why did the chicken cross the road? >> why? >> jimmy: why? to get to the other side. yeah. [ rim shot ] [ laughter ] >> that should have been our tag line. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: robert redford would kill you. >> yeah, but we should have used that as a poster. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it would still be great. why did the chicken cross the road? >> why did the chicken cross the road? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's the name of the show. i want to show a clip. >>h.
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>> jimmy: here's you and rooney mara and robert redford. jaso take a look at this. >> the head or the feet? >> head. >> okay. >> oh, hey. what are you up to? >> oh, nothing much, jim. i'm just walking a corpse through a parking lot. >> why'd you go to the gym? >> we could jog at a a hypothetical gym. >> believe me, a hypothetical gym makes you not want to kill yourself. i could be supportive. >> do we just leave it there? >> believe it or not, this is my first time returning a a corpse, so i'm improvising. [ cheers and applause ] jason segel, "the discovery" hits netflix and select theaters this friday. [ cheers and applause ] we'll be back with lilly singh! stick around, everybody! jason segel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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>> jimmy: our next guest is a a comedian, and star of one of the most popular channels on youtube where she's known as super woman, and she has over 11 million subscribers. she's also written a book called "how to be a bawse" which comes out today. everyone please welcome the very talented lilly singh! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: lilly, welcome back to the show. you look gorgeous. >> thank you. thank you. i took a shower. >> jimmy: you did, you took a a shower. thank you for doing that. congratulations on the book. >> thank you. thank you. i know. it's like my baby. >> jimmy: i mean this is it. this came out today. >> it's my baby, i gave birth to it today. [ t
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>> jimmy: and look how -- you look fantastic. >> thank you. >> jimmy: absolutely. >> i lost all the weight already. >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. that's what being a bawse is all about. >> you know. >> jimmy: now, what is the difference between being a boss and a bawse. >> you're saying it correct by the way. i know you're feeling insecure about it, i feel. >> jimmy: a little yeah. how did you know that? >> it was because you said b-b-bawse, but you're saying it so well because, you are a a bawse. we'll get to that in a second though, but -- a boss is someone who's in the workplace. you know, you think about them professionally, but a boss is someone who conquers their life as a whole. so not just at work, but at home, in the relationships. in how they communicate. they don't just survive life, they conquer it. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: don't you want to be a bawse? >> yes! >> jimmy: that's what you want to do. it's a great book. it's a great read. >> thank you. >> jimmy: it's so many fun things too, and chapters to give you tips on being a bawse. [ light laughter ] when did you realize that you were a bawse? ou
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the way. very well done. >> jimmy: that was a little bit better? >> yeah, it's all good. i think i learned -- you know, my journey on youtube was very much what taught to be comfortable who i am. be comfortable in my own skin, no matter how weird i am, if i have stretch marks, if i have love handles, i don't care. i was just like, i live who i am. that's when i decided i'm a a bawse. >> jimmy: yeah. [ cheers and applause ] i need this. sometimes i don't feel like a a bawse. >> well, you know what, i wanted to bring this up earlier. you are a boss because i mention you in the book. >> jimmy: i saw this. i really -- i really -- i kind of got a little emotional. >> did you? >> jimmy: yeah. >> aw. >> jimmy: it was very nice of you. >> jimmy. >> jimmy: you don't have to do that. you don't have to -- >> i didn't have to. i wanted to. >> jimmy: and it was a chapter called shake what your mama gave you. [ laughter and applause ] and so i was wondering, why i'm in that chapter. [ light laughter ] you can see my confusion, but i was still emotional.
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>> i mean well -- nce.immy: i was like oh my yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. yeah. >> you know -- you know what it was, was when we met, and you walked out of the room, i looked when you walked away, and i was like, damn, jimmy. >> jimmy: no, no, no. [ cheers and applause ] that's not -- >> damn, jimmy! no but for real, the title's supposed to misdirect you, but it's about how when you walked in, the first time i met jimmy, he walked into my change room. i was obviously fangirling, because i adore you, and we were having a conversation, and you paused because you realized you didn't introduce yourself to everyone in the room. so you said, hi, my name is jimmy, and shook hands with everyone, and when you left everybody was taken so aback because you were so sweet and down to earth, and i thought, he's shaking what his mama gave him, his hands, and everyone knows you're jimmy, but you didn't care, you still did it. [ cheers and applause ] bawse. >> jimmy: i just love you. i think you're the coolest. oh this is a good bawse. >> thank you. >> jimmy: this is a good bawse photo right there. bawse! >> oh, okay. >> jimmy: yeah. okay, i mean this is major league. >> thank you.
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[ light laughter ] it's a cool thing. >> thank you. it is really cool. >> jimmy: i feel connected to you and that's why i wanted to play a game called the jinx challenge. >> okay. >> jimmy: now, here's what it is. we're both going to put on these gloves. >> fancy. okay. >> jimmy: yeah okay. >> ooh. >> jimmy: we're going to put on these gloves, i'm going to -- >> shaking what his mama gave him for real. >> jimmy: here we go, yeah. >> here we go. >> jimmy: all right, now you put that on. now we're going to read a a category from these cards here, all right tricky. >> they're very large. >> jimmy: and then we count to three, and then both pick something in that category at the same time, and when we say the same thing, it's a jinx. and we want a jinx. >> we want a jinx. >> jimmy: we want to be connected, yeah. >> teamwork makes the dream work. got it. got it. got it. i'm so nervous. >> jimmy: teamwork makes the dream work. >> got it. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: last time i did this was with nicole kidman, and we got three jinxes. pretty good. let's try to break the record. all right. let's see what the category is. planet. three, two, one -- >> [ at the same time ] jupiter. >> jimmy: oh! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> that was impressive. that was really good. >> jimmy: that was great. >> that was good. we're good.
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>> jimmy: woo, all right, you ready? oh i love this. soup. three, two, one -- vegetable. >> chicken noodle. >> oh, and i'm a vegetarian. >> jimmy: i know you are. ready? three, two, one -- >> cream of mushroom. >> jimmy: chili. >> chili? >> jimmy: i know. i know. i'm blanking on soup. three, two, one -- lentil. >> split pea. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: all right, we didn't get that. >> okay, i'm indian. we don't drink soup. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you don't drink soup. ready? >> i'm like split pea? is that -- >> jimmy: i thought of chili. all right ready? video games. three, two, one -- "super mario brothers." >> "mortal kombat." you're right. i should have said that. >> jimmy: no you're right. i like "mortal kombat." ready? >> okay. >> jimmy: three, two, one -- "street fighter." >> "mario party." >> jimmy: i think we're going in opposite directions. >> okay, we're going old school here. >> jimmy: three, two, one -- "pac-man." >> "sonic." >> okay all right. it's cool. it's cool. we're connected. >> jimmy: yeah, we're still connected. do you want to do one more? >> yeah, for sure. >> jimmy: video game or no? new category. >> new category. >> jimmy: new category. ready? super heroes. three, two, one --
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wonder woman >> super woman. [ laughter and applause ] what? what? [ buzzer ] >> jimmy: i can't believe i didn't say -- i know, i know, of all things. all right, ready? three, two, one -- >> both: iron man. >> yes! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: it's a jinx. we got two! >> yes! >> jimmy: we need one more to tie. two more to win. >> i'm so completely invested in this. >> jimmy: get ready for this. come on. >> let's get bawse. >> jimmy: let's do this. holidays. three, two, one -- >> both: christmas. >> yes! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: yes! yes! we get one more jinx and we have the record, right? >> this is the one. >> jimmy: fish. one, two, three -- >> both: salmon. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: yes! you're the best! lilly singh, her new book "how to be a bawse" is available now. we have stand-up from brian regan after the break, stick around, everybody. ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
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♪ [ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: our next guest is one of my favorite comedians. we're always so happy to have him join us. on june 23rd and the 24th, he will be recording the first of two netflix stand-up specials at the paramount theatre in denver. please welcome the very funny brian regan! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> hey! all right! [ cheers and applause ] thank you. thank you. yeah, that's very nice. well, there's been some changes in our country since the last time i was here. [ light laughter ] i don't know if anybody saw that blurb in the paper, but i think there's a new president? [ light laughter ] i don't think i've ever been more afraid to bring up a a subject in my life. [ laughter ] even socially, you know, going to barbecues, "are we going to be talking politics, or are we going to be having fun?" [ laughter ] "i just want some ke
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[ light laughter ] "i just satheel t. they couldn't take the tension." [ light laughter ] [ scattered applause ] i don't know why anyone would ever want to be the president anyway, you know? i wouldn't want that job in a a million years. can you imagine being awakened every morning like this? "problems." [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] "all kinds of problems." [ laughter ] no matter what they decide, there's two sides to everything, you know? there's controversy about whether or not we should put boots on the ground in the mideast. some say yes. some say no. i think when you hear that expression, though, boots on the ground, you assume that means soldiers in the boots. [ light laughter ] i'd say we drop a bunch of boots on them.
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load, just keep shoving boots out. [ laughter ] they won't know what hit them. they'll be like, "what are all these boots on the ground!?" keep dropping -- dropping our best boots. [ cheers and applause ] so they're up to their neck in them. there's too many boots on the ground! [ laughter ] be absolutely stymied. [ light laughter ] problem solved. [ light laughter ] speaking of problems, i read this. apparently, the israelis and palestinians are not getting along? [ light laughter ] what the -- [ light laughter ] what happened? i go on a short vacation. i don't know how they're going to solve their issues. they tried violence. that hasn't worked. [ light laughter ] nothing's worked, you know? but you know what they haven't tried, and i think it's worth a a shot. they haven't tried a good dad --
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because a good dad can solve a a problem in 30 seconds. [ light laughter ] i say we send a good dad over there. "what in the hell is going on over here?" [ light laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] "well, he started it." "no, he started" -- "i don't care who started it. knock it off!" [ laughter ] "why are you fighting anyway?" "well, this is mine." "no, it's mine." "how about if it's neither of yours? would you like that?" [ light laughter ] "how about if i took it away from both of you? you don't like that so much. figure out how to share. give each other a kiss and a a hug. say you love each other. get a good night's sleep. we're going to have a great day tomorrow." [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] hey, this is cool. kim jong-un is one of my facebook friends. [ light laughter ] he's, like, liking my stuff. thanks, kim jong-un! [ laughter ]
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i read recently -- i'm not making this up. they said kim jong-un is considering outlawing sarcasm in north korea. [ light laughter ] i wonder if he proposed that to his team, and one of his generals said, "oh, yeah. that will work." [ laughter ] thank you. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: brian regan. [ cheers and applause ] we're gonna talk to brian after the break! stick around, everybody! come right back! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back! we're hanging out with brian regan right here! [ cheers and applause ] that's what i'm talking about. >> thank you. >> jimmy: i kind of slipped the big news before i introduced you and i said that you were filming one of two netflix specials over in denver on the 24th, i want to say. so you signed a deal with netflix?
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>> this is first i'm hearing about it. >> jimmy: yeah, >> for two specials. >> jimmy: this is it. >> yeah. i'm pretty honored. >> jimmy: they're getting every great comedian. you, chapel, chris rock, jerry seinfeld. and amy schumer. all the big comedians are doing this. >> i think heads are going to roll when they find out i slipped myself into that company. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: no, it's great. are you still -- do you go on the road all the time? >> yeah, i love it, man. i love doing stand-up. i love audiences like this. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i don't even know if i brought this up the last time you were on. but i opened for you a couple of times. >> i know. >> jimmy: and you were so nice to me. but not only just me, but your staff. we went out, you bought all the staff pizza and drinks after the show. and i was like -- i don't know. i'll never forget that. it was just so good. >> i appreciate it, man. thank you. >> jimmy: you didn't have to do that. yeah. i had to pay for it. [ light laughter ] you drove us there. >> i slipped out before the check came, you know. >> jimmy: we would play a game where we'd try to sneak in a a funny word into our act that weev
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do you still play that game? >> sometimes, yeah. >> jimmy: like, what was, i think it was lunch meats or something? >> it might have been once. you've got to work it into a a bit, there's no place for it. you just say it out of context. the only laugh is the other comedians in the back. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: it's the most fun game. >> he said lunch meat. >> jimmy: i said some pretty good lunch meats. you know, i like a sandwich. you know, with my chockie chip chip. [ light laughter ] do you hang out with fans, do you meet them after the show? >> it's really nice, man. what's fun is i have different age ranges that seem to like what i do. which is very flattering. but it's weird, you know? i had a little kid, i swear, come back after the show with his family and pointed at me and said, "why were you so loud? i was trying to sleep!" [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: sorry about that. >> i didn't mean to do my act during nap time. [ light laughter ] and i had another family come back with, like, their grandmother, you know. >> jimmy: yeah. >> ay
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she was off to the side. vaudeville? [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: oh my gosh. >> since 1910, i guess. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: vaudeville? >> crazy. >> jimmy: good god. you've got to get out more, yeah. or get netflix. and then you can see it on there. our thanks to brian regan, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] for tour dates, and more information, check out brianregan.com! my thanks to jason segel, lilly singh, brian regan once again! [ cheers and applause ] and the roots from philadelphia, pennsylvania! stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching! have a great night! i hope to see you tomorrow. bye-bye, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪
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♪ ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- scarlett johansson. the hosts of "morning joe," joe scarborough and mika brzezinski. cooking with mario batali. featuring the 8g band with fred armisen. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening, everybody. i'm seth meyers, this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] that's great to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. democrats have called for the chairman of the house intelligence committee to recuse himself from the investigation into russia's election-related hacking over concerns that he is too close to president trump to be impartial.

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