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tv   The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon  NBC  July 19, 2017 11:34pm-12:37am EDT

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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center in the heart of new york city, it's "the tonight show starring jimmy fallon." tonight, join jimmy and his guests -- harry styles, jenny slate,
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and featuring the legendary roots crew. >> questlove: 707! santa rosa! >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you very much. [ cheers and applause ] hot crowd tonight. hot crowd tonight. [ cheers ] welcome, welcome, welcome to "the tonight show", baby. this is it, man. you're here. [ cheers and applause ] you'ree.
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you guys. well, here, first, here's what people are talking about, all right. i saw that a magazine article just came out that said donald trump jr. is miserable. [ laughter ] and he wants his dad's presidency to be over. [ laughter ] it was in the section, "stars, they're just like us." [ laughter and applause ] "people" magazine did a big feature on don jr. and it says that he likes to spend his weekends at a rustic cabin in upstate new york. [ light laughter ] he said the only thing he doesn't like about the cabin is when hillary shows up in a a hockey mask and chases him around the lake. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] it turns out in college, don jr. would reportedly get into drunken fights where he would say, "do you have any idea who i am?" [ light laughter ] then his father would say, "uh, eric?" [ laughter and applause ] "don jr. you named me after you." meanwhile, a new book just came out claiming that last summer,
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president trump yelled at former campaign manager paul manafort and said, "you treat me like a baby." [ audience oohs ] but trump said it wasn't a a complaint, it was an order. "you, treat me like a baby." [ laughter and applause ] "just hold -- just hold me. cradle me. kiss my belly." [ laughter ] >> steve: what? >> jimmy: "kiss my belly." [ laughter ] that's weird. this is pretty big. it came out that trump held a a second secret meeting with vladimir putin. [ audience oohs ] trump's former campaign manager corey lewandowski went on "fox and friends" this morning to discuss it. but it seems like all he talked about was melania. just take a look. watch this. >> our best representative, who is stunningly beautiful and incredibly intelligent, sat next to vladimir putin at the request of the german chancellor. our president, he got up and he walked over and saw his beautiful wife, the first lady of the united states, who by the way, speaks five languages, is incredibly beautiful and is incredibly intelligent and is a
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a great representative of our country. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: "and if she's listening right now, i want her to know that your husband doesn't deserve you, and i'm very available." [ laughter and applause ] "she's funny, charming. she makes me laugh. she makes me feel like a kid again." of course, right now, another big story is the republican health care plan. on monday, they couldn't get enough votes to pass it. then yesterday their plan b to just repeal obamacare fell apart. so, now they're considering plan c, letting obamacare fail. and it turns out republicans have prepared even more backup plans after that. for example, plan d is repeal obamacare, then mail everyone a a packet of emergence-c. [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: oh, well that's good. >> jimmy: that works. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: plan e is threaten to tweet out "game of thrones" spoilers if the bill doesn't pass. [ laughter and applause ] i'll do it. i will do it. and finally, plan f is eliminate obamacare and then
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everyone health care. [ cheers and applause ] come on, oprah! come on! just do it. listen to this. there's a small tropical storm in the atlantic that's officially called tropical storm don. [ light laughter ] which is odd, because our president actually just started his own weather channel to track the storm. donald, what is happening in your neck of the woods? >> thanks, jimmy. [ cheers ] as usual, the name on everyone's lips is don. okay? everywhere i go, i overhear people talking about how don is scary or unpredictable and destructive. and that was before the storm even got its name. but that's fine. anyway, let's take a look, let's take a look at this beautiful storm, okay? it's been forming over the atlantic for about 72 hours, which basically is how long i like to shake hands, okay? look. [ laughter ] i know -- i know this thing seems bad, but it's probably going to break apart and disappear just
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bill, okay? [ laughter and applause ] but just to be safe and make sure don doesn't get anywhere near florida, officials are renaming the entire state melania. [ laughter and applause ] oh well, back to you, jimmy. >> jimmy: thank you very much. thank you, mr. president. that's fantastic. isn't that great? mike o'gorman right there. that's a great impression. that was unbelievable. [ cheers and applause ] meanwhile, i saw that tomorrow is supposed to feel like the mid 90s. [ audience oohs ] you know, when everyone's huddled around the tv waiting for the o.j. verdict. [ laughter and applause ] we're doing this again? that's right, tomorrow, o.j. simpson will have his big parole hearing. and a former correctional officer at o.j.'s prison called it, "a cruise ship with barbed wire." [ light laughter ] when they heard that, carnival was like, "great, now we need a a new slogan." [ laughter and applause ] i mean, that's our thing. cruise ship barbed wire.
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is coming back to stores this august. that's right. we have an o.j. hearing and crystal pepsi. at this point i'm expecting to see a furby doing "the macarena." [ laughter and applause ] did you see this last night? i saw chris christie caught a a foul ball at the mets game. [ light laughter ] i guess he did it by sitting all by himself in a section that he closed off to everyone but him. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] "i got it, i got it." this made me laugh. in the u.k., a man on a scooter tried to scam some insurance money by getting hit by a car. and i think his acting could use a little work. check this out. [ engine running ] >> jimmy: oh, here he is. >> what's that sound? >> steve: oh, hey-oh! [ laughter ] [ applause ]
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[ laughter ] get this, you guys. an 86-year-old woman was arrested this week for shoplifting at a walmart while still wearing an ankle monitor from a prior arrest. [ laughter ] instead of taking her to jail, police crowned her queen of walmart. [ applause ] when asked how she got in to begin with, the store said, "if we had to kick out every walmart shopper with an ankle monitor, it'd never end." [ laughter and applause ] hey, i saw that "despacito" just hit the record for the most streamed song ever. [ scattered cheers ] it also set the record for the most popular song that people sing one word to and mumble the rest. [ laughter and applause ] this is crazy. you see this? a guy was driving in russia and he comes across a motorcycle with a very interesting passenger in the side car. did you see this? >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: take a look at this. [ speaking russian ]
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that. [ speaking russian ] >> jimmy: the crazy thing is, that video was actually taken by another bear. >> steve: really? [ applause ] >> jimmy: they're trained -- and finally, i saw that two new "harry potter" books are coming out to mark the 20th anniversary of the first book. [ cheers ] two new ones. two new books are a two-part series called, "you'll buy anything that says 'harry potter.'" [ cheers and applause ] we have a great show for you tonight. give it up for the roots, right there. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: what a show. what a show we have tonight. it is unbelievable. [ cheers and applause ]
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hey! >> steve: wow. >> jimmy: that's right, i'll be performing some b-sides from my one man show tonight on the show. >> steve: oh, my gosh. >> jimmy: exclusively. ♪ if i were a singer no, this guy -- this guy can do it all. he's part of the amazing cast of christopher nolan's world war ii film, "dunkirk." it's out this friday. he's just fantastic. harry styles is here, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: yeah! harry! >> jimmy: and also, his solo album is out as well. [ cheers and applause ] and it's a great album. it's fantastic. have you given it a listen? >> steve: i'm going to now. >> jimmy: it's so good. i would say, "meet me in" -- no, oh, "carolina" might be my favorite. [ cheers ]
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but he came out with "sign of the times." and that was -- it's just -- don't you get the cover? you get it? it's like a necklace -- >> steve: right. >> jimmy: from somebody. maybe it's his cross to bear. >> steve: ooh. [ audience oohs ] >> jimmy: this is how fantastic the record is. all sorts of easter eggs. here he is. [ light laughter ] >> steve: what's he doing? >> jimmy: here he is playing in the bath tub. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: oh, he's just a a little shaver. >> jimmy: so many fun surprises. plus, she's super funny. she stars in the new movie "landline." jenny slate is stopping by. >> steve: oh! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: and we love her. she always makes me laugh. then we have music from one of the most legendary bands in rock history. ♪ i'm talking "tommy." ♪ i'm talking "quadrophenia." ♪ "live at leeds." ♪ "who's next?" ♪ if you care about rock 'n' roll, if you want to know what
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live music is, if you want to go see a concert that you'll never forget, you've gotta see them. they're on tour right now. they're doing a summer residency in las vegas. the who is here, ladies and gentlemen! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] where are they playing in vegas? if you want to get your tickets to vegas, go see them at the coliseum at caesars palace. they're there for a residency in august. and it'sjust -- it's a crusher, crusher concert. if you've never seen them -- >> steve: they're fantastic. >> jimmy: rehearsal today, they are going to -- i don't know if tvs are ready for what they're about to do. [ light laughter ] they are so loud and so rock 'n' roll, that your television set -- i apologize in advance. we can't take responsibility for that. >> steve: we have to get a a waiver. >> jimmy: tonight, we're going to break every television set in america. >> steve: what? >> jimmy: that's what it's all about. [ cheers and applause ] and they're also going to do an extra song for theeb
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[ cheers and applause ] so check out our youtube channel after their performance, you get to see it on youtube. and they'll probably break computer screens as well. >> steve: i hope. >> jimmy: yeah. and here's how you know you made it. look at this right here. roger daltrey has his own champagne. >> steve: oohh la la. >> jimmy: champanya, as i like to call it. and if you get this champagne, proceeds go to teen cancer america. it's the charity that he started with pete townsend. [ cheers and applause ] i love them. they're great dudes. they're rock 'n' roll royalty. i love them so much. guys, we live in a brand-driven society. name recognition is everything. the problem is what makes a a good name for one thing might make a bad name for something else. or a great name for something else. >> steve: wow! >> jimmy: with that in mind, it's time for a segment we call "good name, bad name, great name." here we go. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ good name bad name great name yes ♪ >> steve: nice segue. >> jimmy: first up we have -- [ light laughter ] >> steve: that just rolls off the tongue. >> jimmy: smooth. >> steve: it sounded like it came from your soul. >> jimmy: thank you, i appreciate that. i appreciate that.
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like, let me show you what's up. first, we have ub-40. that's a good name for a band. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: it's a bad name for a a birthday party. [ laughter ] great name for trump's approval rating. [ applause ] yeah, ub-40. next up we have friskies. well, that's a good name for a a cat food. it's bad name for an hr department. [ laughter ] >> steve: that is bad. >> jimmy: it's great name for a a tsa agent. [ laughter and applause ] here you go, just let me on the plane. just let me on the plane, please. after that, we have yankees, there you go. [ cheers and applause ] that is a good name for a a baseball team. that is a bad name for a a massage parlor. >> steve: what? [ laughter ] ♪ yankees! >> jimmy: that is a -- it's a a great name for trump's handshakes. [ laughter and applause ] there you go. >> steve: "get in here." >> jimmy: up next we have white walker. well, that's a good name for an evil character on "game of thrones."
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company. [ laughter ] it's a great name for mike pence on a treadmill. [ laughter and applause ] white walker. >> steve: he's a white walker. >> jimmy: up next we have "eight is enough." that is a good name for a a sitcom. it's a bad name for a finger surgeon. [ laughter ] a great name for the number of people at don jr.'s meeting with in russia. [ laughter and applause ] well, there you go. eight is -- bring a couple. i don't remember any of this. >> steve: who's on speakerphone? >> jimmy: i don't remember anything. next we have "fallout." that's a good name for a video game. bad name for a men's hair growth product. [ laughter ] great name for what happens when male athletes forget to wear a jock strap. [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: hey-oh! the ball is on the field! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: all right. [ laughter ] finally, we have "all in the family." well, that is a good name for a a tv show. it's a bad name for a dating
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[ laughter ] it's a great name for a trump board meeting. there you go, everybody. that is "good name, bad name, great name." we'll be right back with harry styles, ladies and gentlemen. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ the ford summer sales event is in full swing. they are not listening to me. watch this. who wants ice creeaaaaaam!? so that's how you get them to listen. take on summer right with ford, america's best-selling brand. now with summer's hottest offer. get zero percent for seventy-two months plus an additional thousand on top of your trade-in. during the ford summer sales event get zero percent for seventy-two months plus an additional thousand on top of your trade-in. offer ends soon. stock up on what your kids need now and take an extra 15% off. girls' tops and bottoms only $6.80
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game on. kohl's.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we are joined right now by a very talented man. his debut solo album, "harry styles" is a critically acclaimed bestseller. this weekend you can see his big screen debut in christopher nolan's world war ii drama "dunkirk" which opens everywhere in theaters and imax on friday. please welcome, harry styles. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: there he is, harry styles is here! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] welcome back to the show. it's always great to see you. >> thanks for having me. >> jimmy: congrats on everything -- >> thank you for that. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. we love you. [ cheers and applause ] they love you, we love you. i was very happy i got to spend a week with you. >> yeah, that was fun. >> jimmy: do you remember me? >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: we hosted "saturday night live" together. you were the musical guest and i was the host and it was -- i thought it was so fun hanging out with you because we're like neighbors when we were doing it. >> yeah. >> jimmy: right? we're like -- >> it was nice. >> jimmy: our dressing rooms were right next to each other. i totally enjoyed it. you were great in sketches as well. you did sketches, which you didn't have to do. [ cheers ] you helped me with the party at my parent's house. >> that was my first war movie. >> jimmy: yeah, it was
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yeah first one is -- >> that was a good one. ♪ oh oh oh oh party at my parents house ♪ >> jimmy: yeah, it was good. [ cheers and applause ] i'm available to open for you on tour as well. >> i appreciate it. i'll be next door. >> jimmy: yeah, i guess, yeah. >> next door in september. >> jimmy: you will? >> yeah. >> jimmy: at radio city. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you're doing radio city music hall? [ cheers ] >> i'm very excited for that. >> jimmy: are you excited about doing the big tour again? >> i am. yeah, i love performing, it's my favorite part of working in music. >> jimmy: that's just going to be so exciting. you're doing madison square garden. you're just doing the whole world. you're going to be on tour for like -- >> i like the world. >> jimmy: yeah, i know. the world likes you. i just thought it was so -- i remember we were doing reversal for "saturday night live." and no one kind of knew what kind of song you were going to put out. everyone's like, oh, it's going to be a pop song, it's a dance song. and then you curveballed everybody. oh, man. [ laughter ] i loved it so much. "sign of the times" is just so good. >> thank you so much. >> jimmy: you really did it up. i loved it. [ cheers and applause ]
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>> thank you. i mean i flew in it. yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you flew around -- who directed that video, do i know him or her? >> it was a -- it was a -- it was a collaboration of a few different people. >> jimmy: it was? >> yeah. >> jimmy: and do you always think that that's the video -- it's going to be the video, of you flying? >> if i'm honest, no. [ light laughter ] i would have been happy doing like, some sort of green screen thing. when they told me i was going to do it, the first kind of e-mails about it, the idea, when they sent it to me they were like, you know, you'll only have to hang like 20 feet tops. [ light laughter ] and then as it kind of got closer, they were like, it might be 50 feet. and the day before, they were like, you may have to go 100 feet. i'm like, okay. and then, you know, it ended up what it was. >> jimmy: i had no idea it was going to happen. i just want to show just a a clip. here's a real clip of "sign of the times" video. watch this. ♪ ♪ just stop your crying it's a sign of the times
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we got to get away from here ♪ ♪ we got to get away from here ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i just didn't see you taking off and flying. it was so well done, i loved it, but now you have the new single, "two ghosts." >> yep. [ cheers ] >> jimmy: how do you top that video with "two ghosts?" is it about the paranormal? is it about -- >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: normally when people get haunted it's by one ghost -- >> right. [ light laughter ] this is a thing. that's what's so scary about this. i'm really concerned about the fact there's a ghost. >> jimmy: yeah, exactly. >> and then -- >> jimmy: who's over here? >> there's another one. >> jimmy: you gotta be -- you gotta be -- you say to yourself, you have to say to yourself, you've gotta be kidding me. >> now they're almost like cancelling each other out. >> jimmy: yeah. are they having conversations? are they talking to each other? >> yeah. they're kind of busy with each other so i'm not really bothered by either ghost. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: they're ignoring you, and you're like, hey, you're in
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>> give me some ghosting. >> jimmy: give me a little ghost time and let's talk about things. >> exactly. >> jimmy: i just, i'm very excited to see the video and to i got to say, i think my jam is "carolina." i know, "kiwi" is good too. [ light laughter ] "carolina" i don't know why -- oh, "meet me in the hallway" i love too. that was the first track, i listened to it and i go, and i'm really going to give you notes on this. >> thank you. >> jimmy: like you care. >> i would take notes. >> jimmy: no, you wouldn't. >> i would listen to them. >> jimmy: you would listen to them. >> i would listen to them. >> jimmy: but i loved every song. >> thank you very much. >> jimmy: it reminded me of so many people and different sounds. i go, oh, that sounds a a little -- no. that sounds like -- no. sounds like pink floyd? no, it sounds like this. no, it kept changing. sounds like harry nelson? no, i just loved it. it was a good mix of everything. >> i appreciate that. >> jimmy: yeah. [ cheers and applause ] i'm happy for you. >> by the way. i haven't seen the scooter thing, by the way. the dude jumping on to the car. >> jimmy: isn't that fantastic? >> it's a crazy thing.
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goodness -- thank goodness he was okay. yeah. a bunch of different directors worked on that video. a lot of different directors worked on that. [ laughter ] i saw a video of you performing with stevie nicks at the troubadour. and i thought that was the coolest thing -- [ cheers and applause ] how great was that? was that surreal? >> yeah, it was pretty crazy. it was a good night. >> jimmy: do you know stevie at all? >> i met her a couple times at some shows. i'd been to a bunch of fleetwood mac shows and stuff. i mean, she's a total legend. so, it was definitely a a privilege. >> jimmy: she came on one of our first shows in 2009, when i first started i was doing "late night" at the time. and she gave me this jade bottle. >> that's very stevie nicks. >> jimmy: it's a jade and she said, "jimmy, open the bottle and make a wish. blow into it, make a wish and blow into it and that wish will come true." and i did. and i won't tell you what the wish was, but you're here. [ cheers and applause ] no, no, no, i made a wish and
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it came true. so i thought since we both know stevie, if you care you can open up the jade bottle, blow a a wish in and it will probably -- >> what if a ghost flies out? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's the sequel to the song. three ghosts. >> am i blowing on this? >> jimmy: yes, this is all you. this is your wish. don't tell anyone what it is. >> where am i blowing? >> jimmy: try to get your air into the bottle. >> oh, into it. and then you close it up? >> jimmy: yeah. you can close it up. make a real wish. there you go. no, don't exhale through your nose, through your mouth. [ laughter ] i did mine -- >> i'm not wishing properly. you're like, no, no, no. wish better. >> jimmy: yeah, wish. >> i'm thinking. [ cheers and applause ] we have a great show for you tonight. harry styles is on.
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everybody, stick around. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'm here with mr. harry styles right there, ladies and gentlemen, now. [ cheers and applause ] starting this friday, you can see his big-screen debut in christopher nolan's fantastic new movie, "dunkirk." i saw it the other night. you are fantastic my friend. [ cheers and applause ] you were very good. >> thank you very much. >> jimmy: and the movie, itself, is just -- i didn't know the story about dunkirk. i don't know if -- >> yeah, it was a pretty crazy story. i think the thing with it is there's no -- there's no, like, crazy back stories to any of the characters, really. i think they're a relatively
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>> jimmy: yeah. >> and it means, when you're watching it, you're kind of projecting your fear. you're almost, like, watching them, just imagining it as you, and it's, you know. i found it very emotional and i was in it, so. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. i mean, from all different angles and aspects and different jobs, i got to say, the cast was fantastic. >> the cast is unbelievable. >> jimmy: shout out to the casting director -- [ cheers and applause ] the casting director is john papsidera. >> papsidera. >> jimmy: who is -- man, oh, man! i'm telling you when you see a a movie that has good casting, i always go, that is the greatest because sometimes you see someone that just takes you out of the movie. this thing, i didn't know. i just loved every single person, i was like -- [ panting ] i saw it on a 70-millimeter projector. >> you were like, "what?" [ panting ] [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i was in labor. i was in labor. >> it turns out it wasn't earlier this summer. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it is. >> it is. >> jimmy: it really is a a summer -- but, it's like a -- it's a -- you just have to check it out. i think i would go back and see it as well in imax.
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watch it in imax. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah, it's crazy. >> jimmy: is it? >> yes. >> jimmy: the thing i liked about it, i saw the 70 millimeter. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and you can hear the projector, going like -- [ imitates 70 millimeter ] >> yeah. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: so that was going -- [ imitates 70 millimeter ] and i was going -- [ panting ] [ laughter ] yeah, you can hear the sound effects. >> the cameras when you're filming, they're quite loud. >> jimmy: you can. >> they hear -- [ imitates 70 millimeter ] >> jimmy: oh, of course because it's real film. >> yeah. >> jimmy: but, man, oh, man. christopher nolan, how is he? is he just a tricky guy? >> i mean, i'm such a fan of his. >> jimmy: yeah, me too. >> and i'm just such of so many people who worked on this film, and it just felt like such a -- i felt so lucky to be there, to be honest. >> jimmy: well, what a great story, and it's moving, and i just didn't really know anything about it. if you see it, it's basically what the idea is these soldiers are basically trapped. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and the germans are just killing them off, bombing them. and so what happens is these people who have boats, fisherman, local people from england who have -- they drive their own boats over to save the soldiers. >> yeah, i think that's -- >> jimmy: that's a little
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>> so nice to watch is it's -- it's kind of the opposite to what a traditional kind of movie set around war is. not as being the heroes and kind of going and saving the day, it's just about community, heroism, and how these small acts from civilians and the normal people who are at home coming to save as kind of together makes this massive thing. and i think it very much bears the spirit of people, and, you know, how -- when people come together, you can do incredible things. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we have a clip. here is harry styles' big-screen debut and christopher nolan's period war drama, "dunkirk" in theaters friday. check this out. >> what's wrong with your friend?
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>> he's looking for a quick way out in case we go down. >> torpedo! [ gunshots ] [ yelling ] [ cheers and applause ] >> who-hoo! whoo! >> jimmy: congratulations on the -- >> thank you so much. >> jimmy: great reviews of the movie and your performance. [ cheers and applause ] harry styles, go see him in "dunkirk" in theaters and imax this friday.
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congrats on the record as well. >> two days! >> jimmy: can't wait, man. jenny slate joins us after the break. stick around, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest is a a funny and talented actress who stars in the new movie, "landline," which opens in select cities this weekend and everywhere august 4th. ladies and gentlemen, please welcome, jenny slate. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: welcome back to the show. hi, how are you pal? [ cheers ] >> hi, i'm great. >> jimmy: you look gorgeous. >> thank you. >> jimmy: thank you so much for coming back. how is your summer going? are you enjoying it?
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>> jimmy: what is going on? >> i didn't get in a car accident -- okay, it wasn't my fault. >> jimmy: jenny, wait wait. [ laughter ] rewind, rewind. what's going on? what happened? >> so, okay. so i was late for an audition. i was very nervous. >> jimmy: ooh. >> i couldn't find the door to the parking garage. everything was, like, exits. and i was, like, "well, you don't go in exit." >> jimmy: enter through an exit, yeah. exactly. that's good. >> i found a tiny little spot. my car is like a garbage car that's covered in bird poop and filled with garbage. >> jimmy: okay, yeah, okay. >> and i was, like, "well, i'll just leave it here." [ light laughter ] just, who cares? i hate this thing. >> jimmy: take it. no one's gonna steal it. >> yeah, who cares? >> jimmy: yeah, no one cares. >> so, okay. i parked in the little spot. there was a van in front of me. and i didn't -- if i did anything -- >> jimmy: jenny. >> okay, hold on, jimmy. [ light laughter ] it was like this. it was like -- like that, like a kick. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: if it -- >> you would love to be the van if i were -- just, like, nothing. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: like mwuah? >> yeah, then -- >> jimmy: it's a kiss by you? >> yeah. >> jimmy: by your car? >> nothing. >> jimmy: was covered in bird poop? >> covered.
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basically tapped it? >> i didn't even think that i did it. and i will also say, i have nice manners. and i am always like, "is everyone okay?" so, if i had thought i would have hit it -- >> jimmy: yeah. >> i would have said something. i heard some honking. suddenly a lady -- it's not even like she -- i don't even know if she opened the van door. it seems like she just, like, busted out, and she was already yelling at me. >> jimmy: okay. >> like, came out yelling. and i was like, "ooh, i'm uncomfortable." [ laughter ] okay, i'm uncomfortable because i don't like to be yelled at. and i -- but i was like, "why is this worse than when i usually feel bad about being yelled at?" and i was like, "oh, because this lady also isn't -- she's not wearing any pants." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what? >> no slacks at all. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what are you talking about? >> she came out of that van with a shirt, and that was all. and she's like, "i don't know if i'm allowed to say this because i was standing there." and i was like, "holy moly, no pants. we're not going to connect." >> jimmy: "we're not going to connect." [ laughter ]
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"holy moly, no pants." >> holy moly. >> jimmy: "we're not gonna connect." >> "we're not gonna connect." >> jimmy: yeah, that's what i would say to you. >> not a friend. >> jimmy: no? >> she's, like, standing there. she's like, "you hit my car, bitch!" and i was like -- [ screaming ] [ laughter ] and she's like, "you hit my car because you're a snitch for the police." [ laughter ] i was like, "okay." she doesn't have pants on. she doesn't know exactly what i'm like. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, you're not a a snitch for the police. >> okay, i might be a bit of a a gossip, but i'm certainly not a tattletale. [ laughter ] i'm like, "ma'am, okay." >> jimmy: "you don't know me." >> "you don't know me." >> jimmy: yeah. >> and i was like, "i'm not a a snitch, okay?" she's like, "yeah, you're a a snitch, and you're gonna have to pay." and i'm like, "okay, i get that." like, i'm so scared. and then, she watches me stammer, still doesn't have any pants on. let's just keep saying that. [ light laughter ] and then, she just goes, "get out of here, rat! get out, snitch!" i was ke
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>> jimmy: what is going on. >> i know. >> jimmy: jenny, i'm sorry for you. i don't want you to have to deal with this stuff. you're a very nice person. >> i'm really nice. i'm a bad driver, but a nice woman. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: the point of the story is, did you get the audition? >> yes! >> jimmy: you did? [ cheers and applause ] that's what i'm talking about! see? ♪ you got the blood boiling, and you got that audition. jenny slate, good for you. >> yes, it's about a woman who's a snitch who -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: well, that would be an acting roll, because you are not one. >> because i am not, and that would be a stretch. >> jimmy: let's talk about "landline," can we? >> yeah, sure. >> jimmy: this is a comedy, but it's also a drama as well. >> mm-hmm. >> jimmy: do you want to set up -- do you know -- tell everyone what it's about? >> sure. "landline" is a movie about the jacobs family, and they live in manhattan in 1995. >> jimmy: mm-hmm. >> and when two sisters who really don't get along -- because they're 10 years apart. and they just -- one thinks one is too wild, and the other thinks the other one is, like, uptight, they discover their father's affair. and what might have torn them apart kind of brings them together. >> jimmy: yeah, it's a a different movie than'v
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and it's very funny, and you're great in it as well. >> well, thank you. >> jimmy: and i always love hearing your voice, by the way. >> oh, thanks. >> jimmy: because you do a lot of animation stuff. >> that's true. >> jimmy: and every time i hear it, i go, "that's jenny slate." >> yes. >> jimmy: you're great. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. >> jimmy: you bet. i want to show a clip. here's jenny slate and her actual face and body in the movie, "landline." take a look at this. [ screaming ] >> what are you doing here? >> what are you doing here? >> i asked you first. >> i'm jed. >> all right. >> can you not tell mom i'm here, please? >> no, obviously i'm going to tell mom that you were here. >> god, you're like a a tattletale, you bitch. >> actually, i'm an adult who was coming for a quiet weekend in the country and found her home invaded. and yeah, i'm going to tell mom that you were here in your underwear. with -- >> jed. >> jed. [ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: jenny slate everybody. "landline" opens this weekend in select cities this weekend and everywhere august 4th. the who performs for us next. stick around, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: they're one of rock's most legendary bands. they're currently in the midst of a u.s. tour, which includes a six-night residency at the coliseum at caesars palace in las vegas kicking off at the end of this month. performing "i can see for miles", please welcome back the who! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ i know you've deceived me
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i know that you have 'cause there's magic in my eyes ♪ ♪ i can see for miles and miles and miles and miles and miles oh yeah ♪ ♪ if you think that i don't know about the little tricks you've played and never see you when ♪ ♪ deliberately you put things in my way well here's a poke at you you're gonna ♪ ♪ choke on it too you're gonna lose that smile because all the while ♪ ♪ i can see for miles and miles i can see for miles and miles ♪ ♪ i can see for miles and miles and miles
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and miles and miles oh yeah ♪ ♪ you took advantage of my trust in you when i was so far away i saw you holding ♪ ♪ lots of other guys and now you've got the nerve to say that you still want me ♪ ♪ well that's as may be but you gotta stand trial because all the while ♪ ♪ i can see for miles and miles i can see for miles and miles ♪ ♪ i can see for miles and miles and miles and miles and miles oh yeah ♪ ♪
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♪ ♪ i know you've deceived me now here's a surprise i know that you have 'cause there's magic in my eyes ♪ ♪ i can see for miles and miles and miles and miles and miles oh yeah ♪ ♪ the eiffel tower and the taj mahal are mine to see on clear days you thought that i would ♪ ♪ need a crystal ball to see right through the haze well here's a poke at you you're gonna ♪
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you're gonna lose that smile because all the while ♪ ♪ i can see for miles and miles i can see for miles and miles i can see for ♪ ♪ miles and miles and miles and miles and miles and miles and miles and miles ♪ ♪ ♪ i can see for miles and miles i can see for miles and miles i can see for ♪ ♪ miles and miles and miles and miles and miles and miles and miles and miles ♪ [ cheers and
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>> jimmy: oh, my goodness. oh, oh, oh, oh, my goodness. oh, my goodness. oh, the who, ladies and gentlemen! [ cheers and applause ] oh, my goodness! catch them on tour right now! we'll be right back! the who! oh, my gosh! [ cheers and applause ]
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my thanks to harry styles, jenny slate, the who, once again, ladies and gentlemen! [ cheers and applause ] and the roots right there from philadelphia, pennsylvania. hey roots. [ cheers and applause ] hey, roots. stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching. have a great night. i hope to see you tomorrow. bye-bye, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- queen latifah. star of "the big sick," actress zoe kazan. founder of barstool sports dave portnoy. featuring the 8g band with matt johnson. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] that's great to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. president trump spoke at a lunch with republican senators today, and said that his gop friends who opposed the party's healthcare bill may not be his friends much longer. [ light laughter ] just so you know, mr. president,


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