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tv   Late Night With Seth Meyers  NBC  November 18, 2017 12:37am-1:37am EST

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- hillary rodham clinton. star of "daddy's home 2," actor will ferrell. featuring the 8g band with gunnery sergeant nathan devilmar. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers and this is "late night." how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] wonderful. in that case let's get to the news. today marks one full year since donald trump was elected president of the united states and if you're looking for a gift, remember one year is the paper anniversary.
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[ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] democrats last night won the governorships in virginia and new jersey. or as fox news reported, are emojis turning kids gay? [ laughter and applause ] last night, danica roem became virginia's first openly transgender person elected to the house of delegates. [ cheers and applause ] defeating robert marshal, a conservative republican who wrote a controversial anti-lgbt bathroom bill. so bad news, robert. she did get to choose her own bathroom, and she chose the one in your old office. [ cheers and applause ] president trump tweeted today that quote, "noko has interpreted america's past restrain as weakness. this would be a fatal miscalculation. do not underestimate us and do not try us." strong words except for noko. [ light laughter ] you're trying to talk about an existential threat to the world. don't make it sound like a cool
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[ light laughter ] my friend grayson just got a loft in noko. he's opening a hot sauce museum. [ laughter and applause ] president trump arrived in china today. "it's so great to be home," said his tie. [ laughter and applause ] president trump and first lady melania attended an opera performance with president xi and his wife today in beijing's forbidden city. man, it makes me so happy to know that trump had to sit and suffer through a chinese opera tonight. [ laughter and applause ] that is his nightmare. i really hope hillary's backstage right now living the life he wants to be living. eating a big mac and watching a knicks game just to rub it in. [ cheers and applause ] apple recently revealed that the most popular emoji used by english speaking texters is the crying laughing face, while the least popular face is still ted cruz. [ light laughter ] [ applause ]
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and finally, a volunteer santa claus was recently arrested in new jersey when officials found he had a crack pipe and empty bags of cocaine. [ audience ohs ] [ light laughter ] cocaine that was supposed to be for the children. [ laughter and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, we have a fantastic show for you tonight. [ cheers and applause ] her book, "what happened," which i believe is about last year's super bowl and how -- [ light laughter ] a big lead was blown, is out now. hillary rodham clinton is here tonight, you guys! [ cheers and applause ] and from "daddy's home 2," our friend will ferrell is back on the show, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] so you're here on a really big night. last night saw the first major elections of the trump era and democrats won big, trouncing republicans in new jersey and virginia. for more on this it's time for a closer look. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: that's right. democrats had major victories in th
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night, which means it's cool to be a democrat again. right new new jersey -- [ cheers and applause ] isn't that right, new new jersey governor, phil murphy? ♪ [ laughter and applause ] >> seth: oh, my god. democrats are such nerds. he looks like he just won a chess meet. [ light laughter ] but hey, at least new jersey finally has a governor who can catch air. [ audience ohs ] [ applause ] the democrats can be forgiven a little, awkward enthusiasm, because they had spent the last two weeks absolutely freaking out over the governors race in virginia, where it seemed like republican ed gillespie was gaining ground on democrat ralph northam by running a trump inspired race baiting campaign. pundits the day before the race were already gloomy. like this panel on "morning joe" during which, mika brzezinski could not contain her panic. >> we're gonna go around the table now. >> oh, no. >> elections tomorrow. let me just start with this question. >> i don't know. >> does anybody here think that the democrats are going to win
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tomorrow? >> i don't know. >> does anybody think -- >> and i'm alarmed that this is a question. >> what about you? [ talking over each other ] >> and is it the donna brazile stuff, what is turning people at the last second? >> do you think ed gillespie or northam wins? >> it doesn't look like northam wins. >> oh, my god. [ laughter ] >> seth: you got to love how mika sounds in that clip, like she just heard some dirty gossip about a friend while holding a glass of pinot grigio. [ laughter ] "oh, my god, with the pool boy?" so even before the results came in last night, democrats were certain they didn't have a chance. which of course is how you know they actually had a chance. [ light laughter ] they won, but at least the democrats were wrong again. [ light laughter ] in fact, democrats robbed a victory in several states, first in new jersey where murphy, the democrat, overwhelmingly won the race to replace gop governor chris christie. christie is so unpopular in new jersey, that on election day he found himself bickering with a voter on the street over a local issue. merging a township and a borough after he cast hiba
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>> anything else? >> can i ask you a question? >> sure ma'am, why not? >> well, i live in -- my question to you is why didn't you merge the borough and the township? >> 'cause i can't. >> in eight years, you say that. >> well, as governor i can't. >> so why didn't you? >> i can't. >> well, that -- >> i understand. you're so frustrated. you know what? the easiest thing in the world -- the easiest thing in the world is to stand where you stand and stand on the sidelines and critique. run for the township committee -- and be the voice to do it. no, i know, 'cause that's too hard. >> no, it's not hard. >> it's easier to sit here -- it's easier to sit here and complain. >> it's who's in who's pockets -- [ talking over each other ] and i don't have the money like you. >> oh, really? i'm sure, i'm sure. easier to sit here and complain. but you know what? that's the joy of public service. it's serving folks like you that is really such a unique joy. [ audience ohs ] [ light laughter ] >> seth: man, it's nice that success hasn't changed chris christie. you know, the best thing about christie living in new jersey is knowing he'll never be able to go anywhere in public again without someone giving him [ bleep ]. [ laer
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"hey! hey, governor, i got a bridge right here, let me raise it for you. there you go." [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] there's another one over there. there you go. you can cross from new jersey, right over to go [ bleep ] yourself. there you go! [ cheers and applause ] you're welcome. you're welcome. and that wasn't the only big result in new jersey. there was also the case of a local republican official named john carman who mocked the womens' march in january with a facebook meme that said, "will the womens' protest be over in time for them to cook dinner?" and that inspired first time candidate ashley bennett to run against carman. and last night bennett won. [ cheers and applause ] so now john carman will be home in time to make dinner. [ light laughter ] though he doesn't look like he'd nail it. "good news, honey. i made fire bread." [ laughter ] democrats also had big wins in philadelphia, where a civil rights lawyer who defended black lives matter activists, just became district attorney.
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measure to expand medicaid over the objections of their gop governor, paul lepage. lepage vetoed the medicaid expansion five times in support of president trump's attempts to repeal obamacare. in fact, lepage made his name by telling voters he would fight obama's agenda tooth and nail. >> as your governor, you're gonna be seeing a lot of me on the front page saying, "governor lepage tells obama to go to hell." >> seth: well last night, maine voters told lepage, you first. [ laughter and applause ] and let's not forget new york city, where the result a win for democratic mayor bill de blasio, was essentially guaranteed. but there was an especially fun wrinkle in the fate of former fox news pundit and trump supporter bo dietl, who ran against de blasio and has a history of making racist comments. dietl got crushed last night, which might have been something to do with his closing message, a bizarre video of him dancing on the subway. ♪
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>> all i know, i love the street music. when i become mayor, they'll be more street music. [ light laughter ] >> seth: man, you got to love new yorkers. they know the first rule of an asshole on a subway is ignore him and hope he goes away. [ cheers and applause ] and with bo dietl, it worked. "hey, i'm running for mayor, you guys want to watch my dance?" [ light laughter ] and dietl has not been handling his loss very well. this morning he took to twitter to attack the chairman of a third party that refused to endorse him, tweeting, "good morning frank marano, i lost last night, but i'm still a multi-millionaire, you're still a fat loser in the loser reform party." and you know you're the real loser when you can't even spell the word loser. [ laughter and applause ] but by far, the biggest route was in virginia. and even aside from the governor's race, democrats had a huge night there. for example, a transgender woman named danica roem was elected to the virginia state house, becoming the first transgender lawmaker in the country. and not only that, she beat a republican incumbent.
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bob marshal, who sponsored a transgender bathroom bill. and once referred to himself as virginia's chief homophobe. he also refused to debate roem and referred to her with male pronouns. the best part of roem's victory was her response when she was asked if she had anything to say about marshal after she beat him. roem said, "i don't attack my constituents, bob is my constituent now." [ cheers and applause ] damn. damn. she threw so much shade, his face turned even whiter. [ laughter ] virginia's also elected the states first two latino lawmakers. and in a truly shocking result, a marine veteran who calls himself a democratic socialist upset one of the most powerful republicans in the virginia house of delegates. republicans got beat so bad in virginia, last night even the statue of robert e. lee was chased out of town. [ galloping ] [ laughter and applause ] by apparently a very slow mob. [ light laughter ] and that's what's especially interesting about last night's results in virginia, because gillespie very much ran a p
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inspired campaign that openly embraced trump's racial grievance politics. he aired ads connecting northam to the ms-13 gangs and sanctuary cities, sent out mailers attacking kneeling nfl athletes, and made keeping up virginia's confederate statues a centerpiece of his campaign, with ads like this one. >> for governor, there's a clear choice, ralph northam wants to take down virginia's civil war monuments. >> i will do everything that i can to remove the statues at the state level. remove the statues at the state level. >> ralph northam will take our statues down. ed gillespie will preserve them. >> i'm for keeping 'em up and he's for taking them down, and that's a big difference in november. [ laughter ] >> seth: november of 1866? [ light laughter ] trump of course enthusiastically embraced gillespie's race baiting campaign, tweeting the northam is fighting for the violent ms-13 killer gangs in sanctuary cities, and that gillespie might even save of our great statues heritage. well you'll never guess how trump feels about gillespie now that he's lost. last night he tweeted, gi
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stand for." don't worry, ed. trump's only upset because the election is still fresh. the good news is, in virginia, when you lose 150 years later, you get a statue. [ laughter and applause ] of course this is just one election night and there's still a long way to go. but last night's results were promising for a democratic party in desperate need of something to give them hope. and if there's one thing democrats are good at, it's celebrating victories. ♪ [ light laughter ] >> seth: scratch that. this has been "a closer look." ♪ [ cheers and applause ] we'll be right back with more "late night" everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: for more of seth's "closer looks," be sure to subscribe to "late night" on youtube. ♪ s google home mini. it's got the google assistant in it, so it's super helpful. watch this: hey google, good morning. good morning, claire. it's 72 and sunny. don't forget to wear some sunscreen. oh, that's nice.
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wow, it looksyum!at in here! so, what's everyone thankful for? all of my careers! i'm thankful for all of you, yeah, i'm pretty thankful for me too. um, is that gluten free?
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back, everybody. and give it up for the 8g band right over there. [ cheers and applause ] also, in honor of veterans week and all of our active and retired armed service members, we have a very special sit-in with us this week. he is the united states marine corps musician of the year, and currently plays for marine corps band new orleans. gunnery sergeant nathan davilmar is here, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] thank you nathan for being here. really appreciate it. and to further honor veterans week we're highlighting charities that directly benefit them.
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please check out "headstrong," a charity committed to veteran mental healthcare. their website getheadstrong.org is a great site to donate and if you're a veteran who needs services, it's a great place to start getting help. so thank you all for listening, and thanks to all veterans and active military for their service. let's give it up for our veterans, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] now, here at "late night," every night, i deliver a monologue compromised of jokes written by a diverse team of writers. as a result, a lot of jokes come across my desk that, due to my being a straight white male, would be difficult for me to deliver, but we don't think that should stop you from enjoying them. [ light laughter ] so we'd like to share them with you now in a segment called "jokes seth can't tell." ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: these are two of our writers, amber and jenny! >> i'm black. >> and i'm gay. >> and we're both women. >> seth: and i'm not. so here's how this works. i'll read the setups for these jokes, and amber and jenny will read the punchlines. here it goes. the detroit metro area will hold a new event next month called
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black restaurant week. >> a black restaurant is like a white restaurant, except it's a popeye's. [ laughter ] >> seth: according to a recent article, lesbian couples are two and a half times more likely to get divorced than gay male couples. >> because it's easier to move out when you already have a truck. [ laughter ] >> seth: after failing an inspection, a british hospital is currently on black alert. >> also on black alert, j.c. penney any time i'm there. [ laughter ] >> seth: do you really get followed around when you shop? >> i get followed around everywhere. i'm being followed right now. [ laughter and applause ] >> seth: fun. the late astronaut sally ride, recently became the first lesbian to be made into a lego figure. >> while the rest of lesbians will have to settle for having a lego figure. [ laughter ]
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>> seth: i didn't know sally ride was a lesbian. >> oh, please, seth. she was an astronaut. only a lesbian would work that hard to get a job where you where coveralls. >> seth: okay. [ laughter ] a black firefighter was recently awarded $350 thousand in a discrimination suit. >> discrimination suit? or as black people call it, a hoodie. [ laughter ] >> seth: amber! >> do not wear discrimination suit to j.c. penneys. >> seth: okay. [ laughter ] beijing was recently named the world's least gay-friendly place. >> while the least lesbian-friendly place is sephora. [ laughter ] >> seth: a "chicago tribune" report found that black residents pay the most for water. >> well, yeah 'cause you have to pay for the water and the kool-aid packet. [ laughter ] >> seth: the disney channel announced that it will soon feature it's first ever gay storyline. >> while their first lesbian storyline was someone owning 101 dogs. [ laughter ]
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so many dogs? >> you need someone to watch your cats. >> seth: okay. [ laughter ] wait, all right, hold on. this next joke seems really specific. i don't know if it applies to either of you. >> oh, that's okay. we brought a friend to help us. come on out! [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: that is definitely the exact same amount of applause that you got amber. >> oh, cool! [ laughter ] >> seth: thank you so much for being here. >> well, thanks for having me. >> seth: all right, let's do this. according to a recent article, chardonnay is making a comeback. >> and they said i wouldn't be
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[ laughter and applause ] >> seth: that was great. here's another one. the retractable roof on atlanta's nfl stadium is not working properly. >> oh, well, at least that ceiling's broken. [ laughter and applause ] >> seth: all right, want to try one more? >> sure. >> seth: all right. according to a recent report, koalas may be extinct by the year 2040. >> and according to fox news, that's my fault. >> seth: very. [ laughter and applause ] very well done. very well done. >> thank you. so -- so. seth, why don't you tell one? >> seth: oh, i couldn't. >> oh! >> oh, come on. >> come on, seth, just do it! >> seth: i don't feel like it would end well. >> you got it! >> come on. >> seth: okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. >> okay. >> seth: playbill magazine reported that a new lesbian musical is coming to broadway. it's called "clunky boots." [ light laughter ] >> how dare you? >> seth: you told me it would be okay. [ laughter ] >> you know, really, seth, that was pretty terrible. >> shame on you, seth! >> seth: no! >> very bad -- >> seth: no!
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popular vote winners are liars. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: we'll be right back with hillary rodham clinton, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back everybody. we're here with former first lady, senator, secretary of state, and the first woman to win the presidential nomination of a major american political party, hillary rodham clinton, everybody. thank you so much for being here. [ cheers and applause ] and you were here -- it's an anniversary of sorts. >> yes, yes. >> seth: so, i guess, happy -- happy, unhappy anniversary. [ light laughter ] >> yeah, that's right, wow. i was trying to think of where would i want to be on the one year anniversary of what happened, and i thought, seth. >> seth: yeah. >> i mean, it just sort of -- >> seth: it just made sense. >> it just came to me. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: well, i'm so happy you're here, but i want you to know, i wish you were elsewhere. >> so do i. i wish -- i wish we were doing this, out of a big white house. >> seth: yeah, that sounds nice. but, you know, i was thinking coming into knowing you were coming, obviously there were electila
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>> seth: yeah. >> that was terrific. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: and, you know there's an instant analysis, and i think if things had gone the other way, people would have said, "oh, this continues the problem in the democratic party." now there's a little bit of hope. >> yes. >> seth: because there's a little bit of hope, i thought we'd have a drink and some champagne. >> oh! [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: but i do want you to know, i was prepared in case the election went the other way with some backup -- [ laughter ] but we don't need that. we'll put that away, so cheers. >> cheers. >> seth: and i want to speak to the fact that last night was a very good night for women. >> yes! >> seth: what is your reaction to that? >> oh, my gosh. i was thrilled. i mean look, i think we're seeing the first signs. >> seth: you can put your champagne down. i feel like -- >> thank you. yeah. >> seth: you can have a sip first. i feel like i asked you a question before -- >> that's all right. [ light laughter ] you know, i think the fever is finally breaking. i think that americans, as we saw last night are saying, "you know what? we really like our health care. we don't like hatred and bigotry, and we don't want to get shot wherever we go in our country."
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[ cheers and applause ] so i think there's -- there is a growing awareness that the only way to reverse this is actually to go out and vote, and vote for people who have your values and will stand up and fight for them. so last night was great on so many fronts, but what was really exciting were the number of women, particularly young women, who decided they were not going to be discouraged, they were going to get out there. and i know how scary that is. i mean, the first time i ever ran for something i was pretty terrified. and so i'm supporting a lot of these groups. i have this group called "onward together." and we're supporting a lot of the groups that are recruiting and training and sending these young people, particularly young women out. it was fabulous, you know. yesterday one of the groups i support called "run for something," usually if you're a first time candidate, you have about a 10% chance of winning. 40% of their candidates won. ch
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america," they were so excited because nine of the house of delegates races in virginia were women that they had helped train. i could go on and on. i won't, but just to say, we are on the right track if people will stay involved, if people will register to vote, if people will vote and if people are willing to run and that's the answer. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: you talked a lot in your book -- about, you know, any candidate has to be resilient to run. >> yes, right. >> seth: especially in this toxic political climate. >> right. >> seth: but yet, women have to be even more resilient, and you're hoping for a day or, i think we're all to some degree longing, for a day where a woman -- all they need to do if they run for office, is to be as resilient as a man. >> yes. well look, you know there's that old comment that goes back years. you know, we know we will have reached equality when a mediocre woman can win just like a mediocre man. and i don't say that -- [ cheers and applause ] you know, i don't -- i don't say
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way disrespectful, but women -- >> seth: i think -- it's complimentary to some degree. [ laughter ] >> well women are held to such a double standard and what has been really great to me, given the devastation of the loss, which obviously i write about in my book to some lengths and a lot of pain is that, you know, still people love our country. they believe in our future, they want to be part of it and they're willing to put themselves out there knowing that they're going to get all kinds of criticism and attacks and all the rest of it. but if we have enough people doing that, it'll make a difference, because i think the best way to get sexism out of politics is to get more women into politics, and that will change the dynamic. [ cheers ] >> seth: so -- again, the narrative sort of changed with a successful night for the democratic party, but the dnc had a bad couple of weeks. donna brazile wrote a book, i know she was a longtime colleague of yours. and she sort of, in her book,
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campaign through an agreement had too much influence. to maybe at the detriment of the sanders campaign, she sort of walked back those comments now. >> yeah. >> seth: what was your reaction to that? >> i didn't know what she was referring to, because as has now come out, that just wasn't the case. but the current dnc leadership really invested heavily in virginia and new jersey and other places, and i called the current chairman, tom perez, to congratulate him because he didn't get knocked off course. he didn't get overwhelmed by other narratives and stories coming at him. he said, "okay, our job is to knock on doors, make phone calls and turn out voters." and you know what? they did. and that's part of the reason we won. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: you at the same time, you mentioned the smaller organizations, the more grassroots. >> yes. >> seth: well, i noticed on your twitter feed last night, you were shouting out organizations like "indivisible" and, you
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the dnc, whether it's fair or not. there is a core lack of trust and one of the things is it's so big, is the future maybe these more small grassroots organizations that are a little bit more connected to the voters than maybe the dnc is? >> i think it's both. it's not either/or. you know, and i am working hard to support the current dnc leadership. they've got to make some big investments. you know, usually in a campaign you see what's on tv, you see whatever the candidates are saying, but underneath that there's so much work going on, like we saw in virginia last night. it's really hard work. it's not glamorous work, and what the dnc is trying to do is rebuild our infrastructure which we didn't have, and i think that's something that put us at a disadvantage. so they can do some things that nobody else can do, and we have to support them to do that. however, these new groups, these grassroots groups with lots of energy that m
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they're people often new to politics. a couple of them are people i've known a long time, some i just met in the last six months, but everybody wants to play a part in helping democrats and progressives get elected. so, i think it's not either/or. i think that would be a mistake. i think it's got to be -- we got to be really invest in helping to make the dnc the best it can be, and we've got to really support these grassroots groups that are springing up. >> seth: it's exciting to see a new way of doing things. i also -- i want to talk about something that's a little bit more depressing compared to last night's results, which is you know, donald trump, president trump at this point, has had very few, if any, legislative achievements and those are the left will celebrate that, but there is a very scary thing -- [ cheers and applause ] that sometimes -- but he's also without needing to make a legislative achievement, he's degrading things such as the state department where you worked. >> yes, that's right. >> seth: how worried should we be about the state of the state department, at a time when there are so -- there's so much going on geopolitically?
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>> well, i think we should be worried about the state of the whole government, but i know the state department well having served there for four years. there is a lot of expertise there. you know, if you're trying to figure out what to do about north korea, don't you think you'd want people who actually speak the language, know the history, and may have had some previous experience? >> seth: well, no, 'cause i have wikipedia. >> yeah, well. [ laughter ] and -- and people whispering in you ears who have no basis even in wikipedia. [ light laughter ] so i think that there is a sense of demoralization. people who i know, some of whom are still there, most of whom have now left, you know, really feel like the country -- is kind of going off in the wrong direction, because diplomacy is key to solving any of these contentious problems. and if you don't pay attention to the people who have a contribution to make, you're just kind of, you know, making it up as you go. then you're going to lose a lot of the expertise and experience that we've built up over generations. so i think it's a mie.
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i really -- i regret it, and i think it makes us weaker. you know, i've negotiated with, i have met with, you know, many of the leaders who are still in office who, you know, president trump is now meeting with. they come fully briefed. they understand what's going on. they have analyzed our weaknesses, they try to go after us in ways that are sometimes subtle. but if you know enough, you can pick it up and then try to prevent it from becoming a problem. and he's just flying blind. and you know, he doesn't listen to people. he undercut his own secretary of state about diplomacy on the north korea problem, so i think it weakens us. i think it gives a lot of aid and comfort to these leaders of countries that are trying to, frankly, take advantage of us during this time when we don't seem to have a particular strategic understanding of our role in the world. >> seth: i want to ask you something else. this is become quite a popular meme.
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dnc of you and president obama enjoying some comment. [ laughter and applause ] and this is a -- this is an example of what people have been using it for online. here's one, it's unbelievable complex subject he said. nobody knew that health care could be that complicated. [ applause ] the trump -- then trump said his white house is a fine-tuned machine. [ laughter ] do you remember what -- do you remember what it was that you guys were saying to each other? >> i do. >> seth: uh-huh. what was it? [ laughter ] >> you know, my book is filled with lots of revelations. >> seth: yeah, there's a lot of good details in it. >> pulling the curtain back and really giving people insight into what i was thinking and what was happening, but there are some things which just have to remain within the cone of silence. >> seth: got you. >> yeah. >> seth: well then, i'm going to assume it's -- and then trump said, "no politician has been treated worse than me." i'll assume it was that. ou
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thank you so much for being here. >> thank you, seth. >> seth: always a pleasure to see you. [ cheers and applause ] hillary rodham clinton, everybody. "what happened" is available now. we'll be right back with will ferrell. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ every day, on every street, in every town, across america. small businesses show their love to you. with some friendly advice, a genuine smile and a warm welcome they make your town... well, your town. that's why american express is proud to be the founding partner of small business saturday. a day where you get to return that love, because shopping small makes a big difference. so, on november 25th get up, get out, and shop small. ♪ i've been watching ...now ba-by.s ♪ stack that beef. lay that swiss! whoa. ♪ wrap it up. oh, a basket instead. ok.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: you know our next guest from his work on "saturday night live," and films such as "anchorman," "talladega nights" and "stepbrothers." he stars alongside mark wahlberg in "daddy's home 2" which is in theaters friday. let's take a look. >> dad! dad! [ light laughter ] [ indiscernible ] >> seth: please welcome back to the show our very good friend will ferrell, everybody. ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
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>> seth: thank you so much for being here. >> yeah, my pleasure. >> seth: and i want you -- i owe you extra thanks. >> okay. >> seth: we had you booked first, and then we actually had to ask you would you be willing to be a second guest to hillary rodham clinton and you said, "yeah." >> i'm not the first guest? [ laughter ] >> seth: no, hillary rodham clinton was just out here, yeah. >> hillary? an impersonator? >> seth: no, no. we had the real -- [ laughter ] the real hillary. yeah. >> was on. >> seth: yeah. >> just -- minutes ago? >> seth: just right before you, yeah. >> why am i even out here? >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] oh -- >> yeah. >> seth: i mean, i think it's still, you know, we can get across -- >> oh, wow, hillary? >> seth: yeah. >> was sitting here? >> seth: why were you? what were you watching in your dressing room? >> i was playing sega genesis. [ laughter ] yeah. >> seth: the very old. >> the very old sega. [ laughter ] >> seth: we don't have one. did you bring -- >> i have a pocket sega genesis i bring. >> seth: oh, gotcha. [ laughter
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>> seth: well, you missed hillary rodham clinton. >> i was so into -- >> seth: how'd you do? were you doing well? >> i was playing -- what was i -- i was playing "centipede." [ laughter ] yeah, yeah. >> seth: gotcha, wow! >> on sega genesis. >> seth: oh, wow. >> oh, so i'm the second guest? >> seth: yeah. >> that's -- that's still good. >> seth: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] because it's -- it's 1:18 in the morning. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> yeah. >> seth: it's a little late now. i couldn't figure out why it was so late. >> seth: yeah, it's really late. >> and i'm like, "they'll knock on my door at some point." >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> seth: and that's the thing -- well, you say, like, time doesn't move. >> by the way, this is sega genesis just so -- those at home if you're just tuning on right at this moment, people will know. [ laughter ] you might want to do a lower third. >> seth: very small one. a very small one. yeah, we'll put sega genesis there. and then hopefully they'll send you some free stuff if we get a --. >> ooh. [ laughter ] >> seth: so you shot "daddy's home 2" in boston. >> i did. yeah, we did. >> seth: and you were staying at the hotel when the celtics were in the playoffs last year. >> right. >> seth: every team that the celtics played in the playoffs would come through. >> would stay at the
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players, occasionally. one time i ran into some of the washington wizards who then said, "wait, you got to come with me." took me into a room which was two adjoining rooms and was their impromptu training area. >> seth: oh, they were playing basketball inside. >> so, no, no, no. they were giving people massages. >> seth: oh, okay. >> not the players. the training staff. >> seth: okay. this is getting very shady. are you sure it was the wizards? [ laughter ] are you sure these people played for a basketball team? >> yeah, the wizards. [ laughter ] they were six asian guys, they call themselves the wizards. [ laughter ] >> seth: it was not -- i think you walked into a, like, a weird -- a weird. >> i was in the south end of boston. >> seth: okay, so you -- walked out of the ritz-carlton. >> yeah, i was out of the -- >> seth: okay, yeah, i don't think that was a basketball team. >> okay, well, i did however -- okay, here's the true part of this story. [ laughter ] this is the best part right here. so this -- the teams would stay at this hotel, 'cause they also had a -- it was connected to a equinox gym.
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[ light laughter ] sega genesis. lifetime membership to equinox. [ light laughter ] >> seth: oh, a lifetime? yeah. so they had a gym there so the teams would stay in that hotel 'cause they could do their pregame workout. >> seth: mm-hmm. >> and the cavaliers were there, and i'm, you know, lifting weights. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> using the universal weight system. [ laughter and applause ] loved to get some universal weights. and i see lebron james. >> seth: all right, that's pretty good. >> so i've -- i don't usually bother people. i kind of know kevin love a little bit. >> seth: uh-huh. ucla, right? >> i said hi to kevin. ucla. i said hi him, and then i went over to lebron. i'm like, "i just have to say hello. how are you?" and i just said, "i was just telling my wife the other night that you need to run for president." >> seth: mm-hmm. [ light laughter ] >> you're from the midwest. >> seth: yep. >> you're very famous, you're very popular, you're very articulate. please run for office,
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lebron. [ laughter ] >> seth: doubled down. >> i'm telling you now, we need you. [ cheers and applause ] and i would love some of your shoes. >> seth: oh, my god. really? [ laughter and applause ] can this be -- you just have one genuine thing without it being about getting free stuff. >> i got four things coming my way, so yeah. [ laughter ] >> seth: i think, at best, you're going to get one or two. >> okay, i'll take that. >> seth: you had your kids on set. >> yeah. >> seth: seven, 10 -- 13? >> yes. >> seth: okay. >> yeah, yeah. >> here's a photo of your kids. >> oh, yeah. >> seth: they're very adorable. >> i haven't even seen that picture. >> seth: and they were on set with you. >> they were on set with me -- >> seth: i think for that clip. >> for the clip that you guys just saw, which is the introduction of my father john lithgow. we're very open, loving -- >> seth: mm-hmm. [ light laughter ] >> father and son relationship. we kiss every time we greet each other. [ light laughter ] and that was the scene they got to see for the first time. [ laughter ] which i -- i forgot that we were shooting it that day, and my boys were like, "what is going on?" [ laughter ]
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"it's funny, but it's embarrassing." [ laughter ] how many more times are you guys gotta to kiss? [ laughter ] and i'm like, "we'll do it all day long." "what!?" [ laughter ] "we will do it all day long." yeah, so -- they thought it was -- >> seth: they have learned -- >> they were like, "dad, your job's embarrassing." [ laughter ] >> seth: wow. >> yeah. >> seth: i know one of your kids recently asked you, he's obviously smart to know that this is a thing. >> yeah. >> seth: he wanted a gap year. he wanted you to take a gap year. >> yes. he's in 8th grade. >> seth: okay. [ laughter ] >> and -- he said, "hey, dad, i think -- i think i want to do a gap year." and i go, "between eighth and ninth grade? [ laughter ] like when? right now?" he's like, "no, no, college. i want to do a gap year." and i'm like, "oh, well, you know, i think that that's something a lot of kids are talking about." because, you know, it's hard to really know when you're 17, 18 if -- >> seth: sure. >> what you want to do and. yeah, if you want to get a job or work for the, you know, peace corps or do something like that. and he's like, "work? [ laughter ] no. it's called a gap year, dad.
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you just hang out." i'm like, "you do not just hang out. [ laughter ] you have to do something constructive." he's like, "you don't know what you're talking about. [ laughter ] it's a gap year." so that will be an ongoing argument i think in our household, yeah. >> seth: well, i hope -- you know, i -- i don't know who i'm rooting for, but i hope you figure it out. we -- i want to talk to you about this because we've done a very popular segment on our show called "second chance theater." >> yes, which i love. yes. >> seth: so we've done it -- i think we've had 605 shows, i think we've done it three times. >> okay. >> seth: so it was very popular. [ laughter ] i -- there's a sketch of yours that i remember right when i started "snl" -- >> yeah. >> seth: it was like a thing that we would all gather around and watch. >> as one of the biggest failing sketches -- >> seth: yeah. >> at dress, of all time. yeah. >> seth: i -- it is -- when you explain it -- >> yeah. >> seth: it will sound like something that should fail, don't you think? >> there's no question. yeah. [ light laughter ] yeah, i -- >> seth: it's based on -- >> yeah, it's based on -- i wrote a sketch about a guy who dress -- looks exactly like gabe kaplan who was the star of the hit sitcom "welcome back, kotter."
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>> seth: "welcome back, kotter." yeah. >> he was also a professional gambler. >> seth: uh-huh. >> side note. [ light laughter ] and i wrote a sketch where it was -- i worked for an insurance company -- >> seth: yeah. >> and it took place in a break room and everyone was -- it's the day that gabe kaplan came to visit. >> seth: the real gabe kaplan. >> the real gabe kaplan, and no one came to get me out of the bathroom to meet him 'cause i was his biggest fan. >> seth: yeah, right. >> and judging by the silence in this room, you can tell -- [ laughter ] that it didn't work then and it will never work. [ laughter ] but that's why we need to bring it back -- >> seth: we have to bring it back. >> for "second chance theater." >> seth: well, here's the thing about it. 'cause the interesting thing is you realize the core -- problem with this sketch is that no one -- there's a lack of recognition for gabe kaplan. >> sure, for gabe kaplan. >> seth: right off the jump. >> super -- >> seth: and now it's 17 years. >> super obscure seven -- late '70s reference. >> seth: yeah. >> yes. >> seth: and so now time has passed. you would argue that if anything he's less known. >> less relevant. [ light laughter ] >> seth: but you'd be willing to come and do the gabe kaplan sketch.
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>> yeah, yeah. >> seth: i'd say the reason it was great to watch and why we all watched it, is you never waned at all. >> right, right. >> seth: you committed fully. >> you know, i have a tendency for some reason when i could tell -- when a sketch was tanking and i could tell the audience was like, "let's just get to the next thing," i would take twice as long. >> seth: yeah. >> yeah. [ laughter ] i don't know why, but i wanted to punish the audience. [ laughter ] it was like, okay, you don't think it's funny, now you're going to really not think it's funny -- [ laughter ] because i'm going to turn this three minute gem into a eight minute turd -- >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> and you're going to have to sit through it. >> seth: and most of the dialogue -- >> yeah, yeah. >> seth: is you saying to horatio, john goodman, i believe -- >> john goodman and to molly, and to meadows maybe. >> seth: yeah. it's just a lot -- you just keep repeating, "what?" [ light laughter ] >> what? why wouldn't you come get me? [ laughter ] my life is all about gabe kaplan. so, yeah, i really -- i regret it. >> seth: well, i -- next time
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>> go for it. >> seth: and go to work. >> i can't wait. >> seth: thank you so much, for being here and thank you for being on at 1:18. i really -- >> i love it. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: will ferrell, everybody. "daddy's home 2" is in theaters friday. we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ so, verizon and google have teamed up on the pixel 2. it's a match made in tech heaven. it's like verizon is the oil and google is the balsamic. no, actually, they separate into a suspension. it's more like the google pixel 2 is the unlimited storage. and verizon is the best unlimited plan. what if it's like... h2 and o? yeah. yeah, like that. i had a feeling that would score with you guys. good meeting. (vo) when you really, really want the best, get up to 50% off the pixel 2 on google's exclusive wireless partner, verizon. wow, it looksyum!at in here! so, what's everyone thankful for? all of my careers! i'm thankful for all of you, yeah, i'm pretty thankful for me too.
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♪ ♪ (bell mnemonic) ♪ this is google home mini. it's the google assistant for your house... ...so it gets you. if you mumble... [minion mumbling] ...it gets you. if you talk like this: "add worcestershire sauce to my cart." it still gets you. "okay, adding now." and if you're like: hey google, play my love playlist." ♪ ah, really? play my love playlist. ♪ oh yeah, it also knows the difference between you and him. it's google home mini... ...and the rest of the google home family. ♪
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(♪) (♪) it all starts with a wish. the lincoln wish list event is here. sign and drive off in a new lincoln with zero down and a complementary first months payment.
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♪ >> announcer: for more "late night," go to latenightseth.com. follow us on instagram and twitter @latenightseth. and be sure to checkou
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subscribe to the "late night with seth meyers" podcast. you'll get "a closer look" and more downloaded right to your phone. [lance] it is absolute chaos out here! ...don't know if you can hear me, can we get a shot of this cold front, right here. [vo] progress is an unstoppable force. brace yourself for the season of audi sales event. well it's a perfect nespresso hold on a second.orge. mmm. ♪ [mel torme sings "comin' home baby"] hey there. want a lift? ♪ where are we going? no don't tell me. let me guess. ♪ have a nice ride.
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how far would you go for coffee that's a cup above? i brought you nespresso. nespresso. what else? z2kqoz z16fz y2kqoy y16fy what if there was only one haircut? now what if there was only one mattress? one is not a choice. choose your mattress with tulo. everything you want in a bed, in a box.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: my thanks to hillary rodham clintron, will ferrell, gunnery sergeant nathan devilmar. and of course, the 8g band. [ cheers and applause ] stay tuned for carson daly. see you tomorrow. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> carson: hi there, good evening. i'm carson daly and welcome to "last call." tonight, we're coming to you from the lovely penthouse suite at the time new york hotel, high above nyc.

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