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tv   The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon  NBC  January 18, 2019 11:34pm-12:37am EST

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lity. so, if you lose your network connection... ♪ ♪ you won't miss the deadlines. having the confidence of something that's never gonna go down would be priceless. one more way we go beyond. call today and pay just $49.95 a month for fast, reliable internet. comcast business. beyond fast. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center in the heart of new york city, it's "the tonight show starring jimmy fallon." tonight, join jimmy and his guests -- elizabeth banks, sebastian maniscalco,
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martha stewart, and featuring the legendary ots crew. >> questlove: 997. >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, my goodness. [ cheers and applause ] at is a great crowd right there. welcome, everybody. welcome. welcome, welcome, welcome to "the tonight show." thank you for being here. [ cheers and applause ] what a great show we have for to yoght. well, you guys, a polar vortex is supposed to hit the east
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coast this weekend and temperatures are expected to drop below freezing. yeah. you can tell it's cold. 'cause today trump and nancy pelosi were cuddling for warmth. [ laughter ] "come here. get in there. come on." [ laughter ] that's right. a polar vortex. may not mean mucto you, but your local weatherman just spent all day shotgunning red bulls. he's like, "here ie go! let's baby! polar vortex!"er [ laug in some places, the weather is already making things difficult. this week, a woman in michigan was leaving r work when her doorbell camera caught her stepping out onto some ice. she's okay.t tch this. [ footsteps ] [ laughter ]] [ foghor see, she just stayed in that position and slid all the way to work. [ laughter ] [ applause ]
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let's get to some news. the federal government has now been shut down for exactly four weeks. it's a big deal. 'cause if your government shutdown lasts longer than four weeks, you're supposed to call a doctor. >> steve: oh, really? >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. [ laughter ] [ applause ] but the government's but down for 28 days. at this point, the shutdown has lasted longer than anyone who's ever worked at the white house. la steve: oh. hter ] t applause ] >> jimmy: think ab. and it seems like there's no end in sight. you can tell trump's desperate to get money for his wall. 'cause earlier today, he proposed to jeff bezos. [ laughter ] >> steve: really? >> jimmy: he's got to -- he's trying to do it. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: "come on, get in here." [ laughter ] i saw that lately, a bunch of democrats have announced that e theynning for president during the shutdown. might want to wait. i mean, it's like standing up during a funeral and yelling, re "you guys, wngaged!" [ laughter ] speaking of the shutdown, to earn money, i read that some tsa agents are now driving for uber. yeah.kn yo your uber driver's a
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a tsa agent when they don't offer you a bottle of water, they take yours away. [ laughter ] i heard that unpaid tsa agents are starting to blast rap music at the airport. because they're fed up with the government shutdow it's kind of weird when they tell you to remove your jacket and oes and you hear -- ♪ it's getting hot in here so take off all your clothes ♪ [ cheers and applause ]-- or when r when you're getting a pat-down and you hear -- ♪ bend over to the front touch your toes ♪ [ cheers and applause ] [ laughter ] >> steve jthat's good. my: and of course when the line isn't really moving and you hear -- ♪ move get out the way ♪ [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you know, it's just odd to hear at the airport. >> steve: yeah, wouldn't think. >> jimmy: finally, we're down to the last four teams of the of nfl pl. and one of this weekend's big matchups is between the los angeles rams and the new orleans saints. now, at the end of tson they give out the mvp award. but they also give out other awards too. i'll show you what i mean. it's time for "tonight show superlatives."
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here we go. [ cheers a applause ] ♪ tonight show superlatives ♪ >> jim vonn bell.t player is he's a safety for the saints. he was voted most kely to be smuggling an onion through airport security. [ laughter ] [ applause ] next up from the saints is alex anzalone. he was voted most likely to pick up some extra cash by greeting kids as a prince at disney world. [ laughter ] [ applause ] next up from the rams is ethan westbrooks. he was voted most likely to have made a beard from hair he found on the barbershop floor. [ laughter ] [ applause ] next for the saints we have max unger. he was voted most likely to propose to his girlfriend in an autozone. [ laughter ] >> steve: what? [ applause ] >> jimmy: get in the zone. next up for the saints we have craig robertson. he was voted most likely to be 50 cent's younger brother,
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25 cent. >> steve: oh. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: next up from the saints is ryan ramczyk. m he was vott likely to ask, what's your favorite flavor of paint? mine's red. [ lahter ] eat paint? next from the rams w trevon young. he was voted most likely to be watching two pigeons doing i [ laughter ] messed up, man. u nefrom the saints is larry warford. he was voted m to a subway and ask if there are free refills on sandwiches. [ laughter ] finally for e rams we have eg zuerlein. he was voted woodiest harrelson. there you go. [ cheers and applause ] atthose are our nfl superles. give it up for the roots, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: guys, we have a great show tonight. thank you for being here. what a hot crowd it is tonight, huh? >> steve: wow. >> jimmy: we love these guys. [ cheers and applause ] thank you for watching at home. tonight we have some great guests. from "the lego movie 2: the second part," elizabeth banks is here! >> steve: whoa! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: plus, this guy's become one of the biggest stand-ups on the planet. his new netflix special, "stay hungry" is out this week. sebastian maniscalco -- >> steve: whoa. >> jimmy: is dropping by. [ cheers and applause ] stud. >> steve: dappim. >>: looks like james bond. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: and she's got a new book out called "the martha manual: how to do (almost) everything." the one and only martha stewart isere tonight. >> steve: whoa! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i love martha stewart.ma ha is coming out. she's going to teach me how to do a few things from her new book including this way to make eggs using a cappuccino steamer. >> steve: what? >> jimmy: she's just -- i don't know. she's awesome.
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i love her. one of the biggest things on netflix right now is this movie called "bandersnatch." did you guys seechhis movie? rs ] it is an intense psychological , thriller where it lets ye viewer, decide what the characters say and do. you basically control the whole plot. al's like a choose your own adventure type of well actually, a weird thing happened the other day.nd i f felt like the same thing was happening to me. here, i'll show you what i mean. [ knocking ] >> jimmy: come in. >> steve: hey, jimmy, you've got a second? it's kind of important. >> jimmy: totally, have a seat. come in. >> steve: thanks. you want some gum? ♪ so what do you say? gum? >> jimmy: no, thanks. i'm good. >> steve: okay. alright, so i wanted to talk. >> jimmy: yeah, absolutely. >> steve: it's about that super long e-mail i sent you. did you get a chance to read
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that? ♪ >> jimmy: yes. i read all of it. >> steve: okay, good. yeah. cause that wasn't -- it wasn't really easy for me to write. you know, i -- >> jimmy: hey, did you see my fish tank? >> steve: no. oh wow. that's great. love fish, did you feed them? ♪ >> jimmy: no, and i'm not going to. >> steve: what? [ clapping ] what the hell was that? >> jimmy: i don't know. i just -- guess i felt like doing it. >> steve: okay. why were you also clapping? ♪ >> jimmy: uh -- ♪ [ laughter ] >> steve: yeah? what are you doing? i asked you why you were clapping. that's disgusting. why did you do that? >> jimmy: i honestly don't know. i feel awful. where are my manners? i didn't offer you a drink. would you like one? ♪ >> steve: sure. what do you have? ♪
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>> jimmy: let's see. what the hell? i am jacket boy. i am jacket boy. oi! [ laughter ] >> steve: alright, who the hell is jacket boy? >> jimmy: i don't know. i don't know. >> steve: look, i can just grab a drink myself. okay? ♪ [ laughter ] ♪ why do you have to go and make things so complicated ♪ you're the one making things complicated. you offer me a drink. i say yes. then you do two weird ass things in a row. >> jimmy: i don't know why i'm doing any of this stuff. maybe i'm watching too much tv. i mean, look i feel bad about what's happening. so i want to -- ♪ eat another chicken parm. oh, come on. i don't know what's going on. but you have to help me. ♪ please? >> steve: "it wasn't me." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what? ♪ i'm mr. boombastic tell me fantastic ♪ >> steve: oh, my gosh.
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it's happening to me too. >> jimmy: let's get out of here! >> steve: come on! ♪ [ slapping ] ♪ ♪ why'd you have to go and make things so complicated ♪ ♪ mr. boombastic feeling fantastic why'd you have to go ♪ ♪ things so complicated [ applause ] mr. boombastic feeling fantastic ♪ ♪ why'd you have to go and make things so complicated ♪ ♪ mr. boombastic feeling fantastic why'd you have to go ♪ ♪ and make things so complicated ♪ ♪ mr. boombastic feeling fantastic ♪ [ screaming ] [ cheers and applause ] [ laughter ]i >> jimmyink there were like 37 slaps. [ laughter ] pretty weird, right? anyway, stick around. we'll be right back with -- a [ cheers alause ] thank you notes! thank you notes!
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>> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. today is friday, and that's usually when i catch up with some personal stuff.ec you know, i chk my inbox, i return some e-mails and of course, i send out thank you notes. and i was just running a bit behind. [ cheers and applause ] i thought -- if you guys wouldn't mind, i'd just like to write out weekly thank you notes, right now. is that okay with you guys? [ cheers and applause ] thank you. james, can i g some thank you te writing music, please? ♪ [ light ughter ] >> steve: wow.: >> jim's in a good mood. [ light laughter ] ♪ thank you, hbo for announcing that the final season of "game of thrones" will premiere on april 14th. winter is finally coming. just not unt spring. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ light laughter ] thank you, low battery alert in my fire alarm, for letng me play a fun two-hour game of
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"where the hell is that beep comingrom?" [ laughter and applause ] it's in this area. >> steve: you stand stairs. >> jimmy: yeah. ♪ thank you, netflix, for announcing you'll be raising subscription prices. i'd be mad but at this point i couldn't even tell youhose netflix account i'm using. [ laughter and applause ] sucks to be them. >> steve: i don't know, man.♪ ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, jeff bezos's divorce, for magically turning the world's single rich -- sorry. this is a good joke. [ light laughter ] i just feel like i didnt screw it up. >> steve: you don't want to pprew it up. i'm glad you stoed it before you did. [ light laughter ] l >> jimmy: well, i just f like i'm having the thing where like, spit is going down the wrong tube. [ laughter ] >> steve: thwrong -- wrong pe? >> jimmy: well, i mean, i guess there's a breathing tube and -- >> steve: right. >> jimmy: -- and there's a food tube. right? >> steve: no. same tube but, hey, whever. [ light laughter ] but what do i know?
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i'm just a doc yr. >> jimmy: know what happened? >> steve: what? >> jimmy: i went to see my doctor today. >> steve: what did he say? >> jimmy: oh this isugot a bit. [ er ] told me i've- he told me to play wacky music in here. >> steveyeah. [ laughter ] ♪ >> jimmy: no, no idis not, but i -- i have acid reflux. >> steve: do you really? >> jimmy: yeah. he told me i have acid reflux. >> steve: so what do you have to do? >> jimmy: i got to like, take a a pill or something like that. >> steve: did he -- [ light laughter ] -- did he have to dot while you were there? >> jimmy: he said to me, he goes, "look. do you eat spicy food?" i go, "yes." [ light laughter ] he goes, "do you drink alcohol?" i go, "yes." [ light laughter ] he goes, "do you eat food sometimes after you've eaten food? like, right before bed?" i go, "are you spying on me?" [ laughter ] he goes, "w, like -- how much time is there between your last drink and when you fall asleep when y're in bed?" and i go, "sometimes there's a a drink in my hand." [ laughter ] >> steve: did he act like
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that's a bad thing? >> jimmy: i think that we're not going to get along. >> steven'yeah. you think you're getting along with that doctor. >> jimmy: i want a second opinion. yeah. [ laughter ] >> steve: yeah >> jimmy: anyways, this is a a good joke. >> steve: okay. [ light laughter ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, or jeff bezos's d, for magically turning the world's single richest man into the world's richest single man. [ laughter and applause ] ♪ >> steve: wow. it works, like -- yeah. >> jimmy: it's a thinker. >> steve: yeah, it's a thinker. not a stinker. it's a thinker. ♪s at about jeff bezos? >> jimmy: what's that? [ laughter ] >> steve: that's not the amazon guy. the richest man in the world. >> jimmy: yeah, erm sorry. -- ipt me. yeah. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: that's correct. he is the richest -- >> steve: well, was. >> jimmy: what? oh because love? >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: love made him rich? truly rich? >> steve: noi was thinking he would have half of his wealth. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i thought you were being romantic. >> steve: no, not at all. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, i'm sorr >> steve: being more like accounting. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ]
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i thought that you meant that the love his wife was what really made him ri. >> steve: yeah, well, it was. but not on paper. [ laughter ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, mthwash, for making my bed -- my -- [ light laughter ] this is not acid reflux. i just screwed it up. >> steve: okay. [ laughter ] that's not the gerd. that's just you. >> jimmy: don't tell everyone i have gerd. [ laughter ] acid reflux is so much punk rock. >> steve: yeah. acid reflux. >> jimmy: like, acidx. yeah. yeah, just be like, "oh, i got gerd. am i allowed in?" t the ve: we're gonna fi power. [ laughter ] stay outside if you have gerd. >> steve: oh, yeah. just wait 'til your mortgage -- >> jimmy: wipe the gerd off. wipe the gerd off. tell me when you're re >> steve: i'm wearing my birkenstocks. can i come in? [ laughter ] ♪ thwash, : thank you, m for making my bedroom routine feel like a wine tasting at the world's worst vineyard. [ laughter and applause ]
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i knew it wasn't that good >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: i'll save it. >> steve: save it for later. >> jimmy: yeah. >> steve: save it for the doctor. ] [ light laught >> jimmy: i don't know. you know what he said to me on the way out? he goes, "i hopeu never see ain." [ laughter ] i thinhe meant like -- >> steve: yeah, he doesn't want to see you. he wants you to get better. he wants to get better. >> jimmy: hopefully, yeah. but that's -- >> steve: but it's offensive sounding. >> jimmy: i mean, in elevator i was like, "does he hope i die?" >> steve: yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i don't know him that well. >> steve: yeah. [ light laughtw ] >> steve: u've got to go back just to prove yourself right. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: i'm going to wait outside his apartment tonight. with a crowbar. >> steve: oh, there it is again. was that -- wait. was that the acid reflux or just spittle? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that was acid reflux. >> steve: wow. sounds awful. >> jimmy: i've been doing that for like two months., >> steve: yeu've been coughing. i thought you just had a dry -- >> jimmy: no. i don't even smoke. mean, i heavily vape. >> steve: you vape a lot. [ laughter ] and you vape 24/7. >> jimmy: what's that? >> steve: you said, "nothing was cooler than somebody vaping." right?
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>> jimmy: i said, "dan i borrow your laptop? i've got to charge my juul." [ laughter ] >> steve: i know i wting a bit for you and you took my laptop. >> jimmy: yeah. >> steve: charged your juul for like, eight hours. >> jimmy: i got to charge my -- yeah. >> steve: it's like, don't they give you a thing with it? like a charger? >> jimmy: i wish i could vape while i'm charging.yt i wouldn't do ng else. >> steve: you just vape 24 hours. you make those vape animals. big puffs of smoke. >> jimmy: the doctor told me i should vaping through my nose. >> steve: really? >> jimmy: he says, "itiklmost acts a humidifier. >> steve: wow. [ laughter ] get mentholated vape. >> jimmy: but your --- too big. >> steve: yeah, too big for your nose. it's le going to a sauna. >> jimmy: it's like going to a a sauna. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: like a steam room. yeah. >> steve: swedish lingonberry vape. >> jimmy: he's says, "it's " great for yo this is a really odd doctor i went to. >> steve: is he really a a doctor? >> jimmy: well -- >> steve: first of all, wher did you meet him? was it in -- >> jimmy: a dark alleyway. not eve: okay, that good. [ laughter ] not an office. you met him in an alleyway at night. d jimmy: yes. >> steve: and wh he -- what did you give him? payment? insurance card? what was it? >> jimmy: well, oo wanted a a sample, he wanted a a urine sample, and he wanted a a blood sample. >> steve: so what did you do? >> jimmy: i gave him my undeear.
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[ laughter ] ♪rs [ cheend applause ] ♪ ♪ >> steve: wow. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: here we go. ♪ thank you, clam chowder, for not going by your real name. hot fish milk. [ laughter ] there you go, everybody. those are my thank you nes. 'll be right back with elizabeth banks, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our first guest an emmy-nominated actress starring in the new movie "the lego e mo the second part" which is in theaters and imax february 8th. ladies and gentlemen, please welcome elizabeth banks. rs and applause ] ♪ ♪ welcome back. >> thank you. >> jimmy: you look fantastic. thank you for being here. >> oh, thank you. >> jimmy: before we get into the interview i just wanted to give a quick shout out to your dad.>> es. it's his 70th birthday. >> jimmy: happy birthday, dad. >> happy birthday, daddy. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: he looks good. he looks fantai ic. ve it. >> i love it. >> jimmy: is he the one that --i he get you into skiing?
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>> he did. i learned how to ski like in between his legs, yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. >> i heard you're just learned. i heard. you're learning. you're in the middle. you're learning. >> jimmy: so, i have 13 years of learning. [ light laughter ] >> oh, yeah that is -- >> jimmy: one is because my wife -- -- that is longer th thought. >> jimmy: -- she can ski -- my wife can ski, but i can't. so, but it's -- >> but you can ski with your kids. i mean they're -- >> jmy: i'm raising them. >> i bet you're as good as a a 4-year-old, i assume. [ laughter ] i don'thknow. 's a big assumption. >> jimmy: they think i'm great. i mean, they don't know any different. >> yeah. >> jimmy: but i -- i know. >> well, i skier, and then my 6-year-old can do everything that i can do, so. but i went and got a massage after. which i don't really get -- >> well, themi- massage -- t be the whole reason to ski. >> jimmy: right? >> so, you can get massage yeah. >> jimmy: yeah, i'm not really a massage guy so much. but i did 'cause figured, "well, i'd be sore from skiing." ey go, "what's sore? is your leg sore from skiing?" i go, "my arms are sore." and theyo, "yeah, you're doing it wrong." [ laughter ] it's like i don't why they would be s that, like tense. i'm like -- [ heavy breathing ] >> yes, with your poles. o go mmy: are we ready in? have a drink? come on. let's go.
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my doctor's calling me.t' >> wyour -- what's your after ski drink? >> jimmy: what is in that bev? hot cocoa.ot you'veo do it. >> oh, yeah. >> jimmy: i do a hot chocolate, and do it up with the kids. >> okay this is -- i'm telling a tale i probably shouldn't tell, but we go to this place. i have a house so i don't stay o at any of thls, but there's a fancy hotel where i go skig and they have a cocoa bar for free and we just kind go in like we own the place and just take -- guys, they ha -- they shave heath bar into the cocoa. >> jimmy: what? with fresh -- with fresh, like -- fresh whipped cream and marshmallows and the whole thing, and we just all go in there. i buy drinks at the bar. i mean, i'm not like, you know, totally scamming the place, but -- >> jimmy: i think you are. i mean, 'cause you have to be staying there. you geit for free. it's not free for everyone. >> yes. it's free if you're staying there. or if you're me. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: do they think you're staying ere or they just know you? >> they do know my name, which
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is i guess very nice, and i don't know what they think. >> jimmy: you're totally scamming these people.'t >> i dnow what they think. they did ask me once if i wanted to put it on the room, and i was like "no, no. i'll just -- i'll i pjut ut y >> jimmy: 'cause i don't have a a room. n 'cause i don't have a room. >> jimmy: 'cause i staying here. yeah. [ laughter ] >> but we do what we do in life.'s free hot cocoa bar. come on. >> jimmy: that's fine. that's your bev as well? hot cocoa? you have to. oh, after. it was just so yummy. >> jimmy: the kids love it. >> and then you can put a a little bailey's in it. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. >> right. >> jimmy: shoot, or just get rid of the hot cocoa and juss. have a baile [ laughter ] screw that. i'll just have a whiskey. an we could hang out. >> jimmy: we could >> we should hang out. >> jimmy: yeah, absolutely. yeah, you get it. we got good kids too. yeah. [ laughter ] but it is -- are they psyched that you're in "lego movie" and "lego movie 2" >> yes, they are. >> jimmy: they understand -- how old's that - >> they do. yeah. i have a 6-year-old and seven and a half, almost eight, and they absolutely 100% totally get it now. >> jimmy: i loved the first "lego movie." it was fantastically written and it was funny. and it was like, one of those movies where your kids watch it all the time. i go, "ion't mind watching this, like a thousand times."
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>> no, it's so fun. ♪ everything is awesome light laughter ] >> there is -- there are a a couple incredible songs in this new one. we really like -- it's got a a lot of great music numbers. "everything is awesome" is such a great so. but there's a new song in this one that's crazier, more of an ear worm. >> jimmy: no. everything is awesome?" >> yes. yes. >> jimmy: i find that hard to believe because that one was stuck in there forever. [ laughter ] in fact, a lot of people are mad at me right now because i put it back in their heads. >> i know. >> jimmy: they go, "i just got rid of it." yeah. >> i just got rid of "everything is awesome." >> jimi : oh, so good. ve it. what i like about these things is 'cause you see it, it's animated. it's a cartoon, but it's got es good jor adults. but it's got good action. >> really good action. >> jimmy: how they're doing this, it make it look like these lego things are pieces that are flying everywhere. it's like -- >> we have to do all the action. like, we have to act it out in booth. >> jimmy: yeah, i always laugh at those. what's that like? >> when you imagine us being like, "hiya! o !" >> jimmy: do you? whoa. >> yeah. i mean -- >> jimmy: do you get really physical? well, you don't have to. >>ou do, though. it really can tell if you're just like, "hiya." see the difference?
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between like, "hiya. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. stop. [ laughter ] yes, i -- i can see the difference. os it's a good difference >> jimmy: oh, my >> you got to act it out. >> jimmy: you have to act it out. >> yeah, and we fall. we get thrown down. >> jimmy: i want to show a a clip >> oh, good. >> jimmy: here's elizabeth banks in "the lego pa2:vion s trtd ec >> bring me your fiercest leader. >> yeah, that's me.is uy coming through. i'm the leader. >> you.th i don'k so. >> when everyone became this special, didn't we all become leaders? >> i sense no leadership qualities from you. my readout confirms you to be soft, fragile, and a less than worthy opponent. >> hey. you watc emmitt.u say about he saved the universe a few years back. >> this guy was a fierce warrior? >> okay, well technically, i did the warrior stuff, but -- >> so you fought and, master built, and kicked butt, and then the hapless male was the leader? >> um, well, you know, he was a a symbol for that we all have ideas. >> but you did all the work. >> well, hey. emmitt is thsweetest, most
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optimistic guy you could ever meet. >> jimmy: elizabeth banks, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] "the lego movie 2: the second part" is in theaters and imax february 8th. sebastian maniscalco joins us after the break. stick around. thanks for being here. [ cheers a♪ applause ] ♪ i'm ken jacobus and i switched to the spark cash card from capital one. i earn unlimited 2% cash back on everything i buy. and last year, i earned $36,000 in cash back.
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hey guys. be sure to tune in next week. kerry washington will be here. [ cheers and applause ] jada pinkett smith will be here. a [ cheers alause ] we've got music with the backstreet boys. [ cheers and applause ] offset will be here. and on wednesday we're celebrating our 1,000th show with -- [ cheers and applause ]
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15-year-old animal expert robert irwin. [ cheers and applause ] it's going to be a fun week. stick around. we'll be right back with sebastian mascalco everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ zack. poor uncle edward. [ somber music playing ] he's passed away six times this year. [ cheering ] [ upbeat music starts ] let's go! let's go! let's go! and we don't even have an uncle edward. and yet somehow, i think this is what he would have wanted. [ cheering and screaming ] the volkswagen atlas. more room means more fun. nosy neighbor... witglad bag full of trashl. what happens next? nothing. only glad has febreze to neutralize odors for 5 days. guaranteed. even the most perceptive noses won't notice the trash. be happy, it's glad™.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we're joined right now by one of the top-grossing stand-ups in the business.
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he's got four shows this month at madison square garden wow. and his new netflix special "stay hungry" drops this week. stay hello to sebastian maniscalco. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: looking good, pal. >> thank you. >> jimmy: thank you for coming back to the show. and i'm excited to meet dad backstage as well. >> father's backstage. and my father's heavily involved in my career. right? he comes to the show, takes notes. after the show he's like, "what happened out there? missed a couple lines." and yeah, he's pacing back and forth back there. >> jimmy: hard to please back there. >> yeah. i'm like back there.ping me "you ready? you got enough energy?" i'm like, "dad, this is not agh a prize " [ laughter ]
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>> jimmy: you say that he helped you with your whole career. i mean, he went to awi the gigs you. did you start out as an altar boy too?. >> i d i started out as an altar boy. i was like eight years old, working masses. >> jimmy: me too. working masses, yeah. >> yeah. yeah. so you know. 's a grind. >> jimmy: it is. i guess so.'s yeah, grind. yeah. >> for me it was. i mean, i you know, i had to walk around with the priest with the water. >> jimmy: no that's not -- >> you did the water? >> jimmy: no, that's too much pressu. [ laughter ] >> i got called in to do the water, and i was nervous. >> jimmy: it's a big deal. >> i was nervous i was going to drop it. he kept dipping the wand in the water and chucking it around. [ laughter ] j my: the wand. >> i was just hoping i would be able to hang on to it. so i was working the masses, though, so i could work the funerals and weddings for cash. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. that's where you got paid. [ layehter ] yeah, yeah. >> that's where i got paid. >> jimmy: that's where you get the tips right there. yeah. but your dad was telling me d ck there that he's so pr of you. waat's nice that he's there.
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he said that he wahing the golden globes? >> yeah, so i'm in this movie called "the green book", right? >> jimmy: and you're fantastic. you're great in it. >> thank you. [ cheers and applause ] congratulations on that. >> thank you. >> jimmy: it won like evt y award thats nominated for. >> yeah, it's picking up awards. my father and i are watching it at my house. and he's like, "why aren't you l,ere?" and i'm like, "wou know, it's producers and directors." and we're lookg at the stage. and he's like, "what are the kids doing up there?" i go, "eh, it's the producer's kids." he goes, "you should be there." he goes, "if thescars come around, you know, we're going." i go, "what do you mean we're ing?" [ laughter ] this guy wants to walk the red carpet. i go, "dad, i've got a wife." you know? so -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh my god, that's great.yo i'm happre back, because you were here, was it five years ago maybe? >> four years ago, five years ago. >> jimmy: you did your stand-up. eah. >> jimmy: stand-up debut on our show. >> so i did stand-up on the
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show about four years ago. right? now, backstage i had a lot of people. my wife, my mother, my in-laws, my managers, agents.e i felt ls hosting a party back there. anybody want any cheese? da, da, da, da, da. tso, the set, i figured, set's going to be no problem. i come out here, a minute into my set i go entirely blank. i forget my act. and it felt like it was forever. it felt like it was for like 90 minutes out here. so, i was so nervous. i came back here, i sat down i said i'm so sorry that happened. he goes, "no, we'll edit it right out. nobody's going to know." so tonight i wanted to show america what happened. [ laughter ] and i asked you guys to pull up the clip where i screw up. >> jimmy: normally we don't edit the comedians, or any of that. we just show it. but this was -- >> this was bad. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: here's the clip. here's sebastian maniscalco's stand-up debut on our show four years ago.
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>> this is my father. i've been working. i've been -- uh -- [ laughter ] nobody works like me. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what?pp [ laughter anduse ] ♪ >> jimmy: it was good. not bad. nobody works like me. that's areat bit. >> nobody works like me. one of my best jokes. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what happened? you just freaked out? >> i don't know. i felt like i went into a coma. uldn't -- [ laughter ] i couldn't get it together. i looked at the band. you guys looked at me like, "we don't know it." aclaughter ] >> jimmy: it's you >> yeah. >> jimmy: it's your act. we don't know your act. i think it's a good thing that you wanted to show that -- >> yeah.in these happen. you know? the world, look, everybody's
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perfect on facebook, instagram. i'm telling you right noab that was pr the worst moment of my career because i'm like -- i'm thinking to myself, "never going to be invited back. can i come back out again? could i do this over?" so it was one of those moments. i was really, really distraught over.yo buknow, hey, those things happen in life. you just pick yourself up, and you invited me back. a [ cheers alause ] >> jimmy: you got knocked down.g it's not aboting knocked down. it's about can you get back up? and you're back and bigger than ever, buddy. congrats on all this. >> thank you. i really do appreciate it. >> jimmy: the special is fantastic. it's out right now on netflix. it's called "stay hungry." i want to show everyone a clip. >> yeah, go ahead.>> immy: very funny man. here's sebastian maniscalco's new special "stay hungry" streaming now. >> little ear came out. that's when i lost it. soon as i saw my daughter's ear come out, i'm like "babe, i can't believe it. this is unbelievable." and then more head started to
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come. and then more head. now i'm like, "what the hell is wrong with the head?" [ laughter ] nobody told me it comes out like a football. so i'm -- [ laughter ] my wife's like, "is she cute?" i'm like, "she's going to have some problems in school with the other kids." [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my thanks to sebastian maniscalco. you were invited back whenever. >> thank you, thanmyyou. >> jand dad, you should be very proud. [ cheers and applause ] martha stewart joins us after the break. strick sebastian maniscalco. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applaus] >> jimmy: our next guest has released her 93rd book titled -- [ cheers ] yeah. not too shabby. the "martha manual: how to do (almost) everything." please welcome back to the show, one of our favorites, martha stewart, right there! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: oh, my god. thank you for coming back. welcome back to the show. i love -- 93rd book? >> i know.wr i've beeing a lot. >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. that's amazing. you look fantastic, pal. thanks for coming back. >> thank you. thank you. >> jimmy: i love this book. i remember when i was a kid growing up with these types of books. it would be like a howo fix a a screen door, how to -- and it's all the things. and i never did anything. but i -- read them. >> but -- >> jimmy: is is gorgeous.
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>> but now you have to. you have kids. you have a wife. >> jimmy: yeah and i have a a house. alt it's gorgeous. >> you have to do that stuff. >> jimmy: it's well done. but there's something -- i saw a video online and people talking about you said that youl make a beautiful kind of scrambled egg using a a cappuccino frother. >> yeah. so if you have a cappuccino machine, most people have them now, right? you have several. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, right. erybody's got -- >> i get in a lot of trouble for that. because, people say, "yeah, rilkt." [ g over each other ] >> jimmy: whatever. break into someone's house who has one and do this. >> would you please break me two eggs? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: alright, these are beautiful >>gs by the way. reak me eggs right in here. just two. >> jimmy: look at these. aren't they gorgeous? >> from my chickens. >> jimmy: are they really? ou yeah. they're from my he. >> jimmy: look at that color blue. >> this morning. here, i'll break one. you break one. >> jimmy: all right. ready? way.h this. >> o you do your way. no, i want it in here. >> jimmy: oh. [ laughter ] >> here. that was for the shells actually. >> jimmy: yeahno problem. [ cheers ] >> okay, now --. [ cheers ] now just -- just scramble it a a little bit like that. >> jimmy: all right, scrambl >> okay. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: perfect. >> you can use a whisk or that.
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>> jimmy: okay. >> a little bit -- >> jimmy: doing this with a a whisk before, sorry. >> a little salt. >> jimmy: a little bit of salt. >> and a little pepper. >> jimmy: okay. >> backwards. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and then two little tiny pieces of butter if you want. immy: how cute are you? [ laughter ] >> and then -- [ laughter ] here. then i'm getting the steam going here. >> jimmy: all right, so the steam's cooking. >> this is really -- >> jimmy: now, i've never heard of this way ofooking eggs. >> i know. but it's so fun. and you'll see. >> jimmy: how did you even figure this out? >> see?o >> jimmy: whatdo? >> go here. just go up and down like that. okay. you've done that before. [ laughter ] [ cheers ] >> jimmy: yeah.do i've beeg it for a long time. [ laughter ] since i was a teenager. >> see how it's frothing it up? >> jimmy: all right. yeah. the thing i like about this is it's very quiet. [ laughter ] want to do this in the morning? yeah, you want to do it in the morning when everybody's asleep and surprise them with some -- some eggs.la hter ] >> see? >> jimmy: that's -- this is the
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future right here. >> do you like them -- do you like them harder >> jimmy: i like -- [ laughter ] i like them pretty hard. [ laughter ] >> okay. >> jimmy: look at this. look at what's happening. >> yeah. see? >> jimmy: this is science. >> yeah. there. >> jimmy: this is magical. >> so then -- and of course clean this off. you can clean that off, too. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. you think? yeahyou're going to want to clean that. >> use your technique. >> jimmy: yeah. no, i don't have a -- [ laughter and applaus] >> and then, look at these frothy, nice egg look. >> jimmy: i don't have a a technique. look at that. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ you are amazing. thank you very much. >> you'll like them. >> jimmy: i will love it. yes. so i just put a little -- cheers. a toast to you. >> cheers. >> jimmy: a toast to tst. love you ♪nt tic. >> mm. >> jimmy: that're great. i love it. >> see, they'r: light. >> jimah. >> they're fluffy. >> jimmy: you know how to do all the cool stuff. what else are we learning how to do? >> okay, well, the book has so many, many, many different kinds of things to do around
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the house. >> jimmy: ye. >> in the house, outside the house. one of them is to change a a wall, a plain wall -- >> jimmy: yep. >> and make it something more interesting like adding a shelf or two. >> jimmy: there you go. >> so i thought we could learn how to -- you probablyhow but show people how to hang a a shelf. >> jimmy: yeah. >> using these l bracket nice heavy wrought iron brackets. i anted to do this. but i wanted to switch it up a a little bit. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i thought it wou be kind of fun if we did it -- >> what's that? >> jimmy: it's called the -- it's called the tool belt -- the double tool belt challenge. and basically, what it is is it's one tool belt that we'll both get into. >> oh. [ laughter ] i knew there would be a catch. >> jimmy: and then -- soe'll just hop into this here. >> like together like this? >> jimmy: yeah. put one hand down there i think. [ laughter ] >> uh-oh. d then what? >> jimmy: then we just hang out for a while. [ lahter ] how are you? everything good? >> oh, just fine. i don't usually -- i don't
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usually do things like this. now, stop laughing. >> jimmy: no, i'm not. i'm not. ' i'm laughiuse -- please, stop doing whatever that is. oh, my god. be really careful. all right. now, we're building a shelf. but i figured we could try to 0 do this inconds. >> okay. >> jimmy: is that possible? >> first you have to find the studs. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i think you have. wait -- >> oh, look. >> jimmy: woah, look. what's going on? [ talking over each other ] we have 60 seconds to start screwing let's go. [ laughter ] >> okay. i am the hand. you have the drill. e , here. you know, this is the special things. ♪ the screw is there. >> jimmy: what is -- what is -- >> tt's like the foreskin. [ laughter and applause ] wait, get in the right spot. wait. right there. >> jimmy: oh, are you okay? >> don't get me. >> jimmy: i think that'sd.ood. that's g let's go, grab the next screw. come on! 60 seconds. come on! all right. is that good? >> yeah. >> jimmy: all right.
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>> put tt there. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. h this oere too? >> wait a minute. let me get right there. yep. better, better. >> jimmy: martha, you smell very good. >> i do? >>ghimmy: yes. [ laughter ] very, very nice. how much time do we have? ten seconds or we're not going to -- >> 10 seconds. >> jimmy: hurry up, quick. martha, quit fooling around and get that screw in. let's go! all right, good. perfect. here we go. >> three, two, one. [ buzzer ] [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: there we go. perfect. >> go to page 80. >> jimmy: page 80 in the book. look at that beautiful shelf right there. martha stewart, everybody. the "martha manual" is in stores now.la [ cheers ause ] my thanks to elizabeth banks, sebastian maniscalco, martha stewart. and the roots right there. stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thanks for wat have a great weekend. ♪
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>> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- andy samberg, star of "future man" actor josh hutcherson, featuring the 8g band with charlie hall. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. thiss "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] that's great to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. president trump last night gave his first prime time address from the oval office, and demanded $5.7 billion for a border wal o

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