tv The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon NBC March 20, 2019 11:34pm-12:38am EDT
very much. welcome. welcome, please, have a seat. welcome to "the tonight show." f give it the roots, everybody, right there. [ cheers and applause ] well, you guys, today was the first day of spring. [ chee and applause ] that's right. millions of people looked at their bodies in the mirror, and were like, "i thoughe.i had more t [ laughter ] tt's get to some news. a new cnn poll fout even though he's not officially campaigning, joe biden is the frc t-runner for the democra nomination. [ cheers and applause ] biden was thrilled. he said he hadn't accomplished this much without doing anything since he was usce president. [ cheers and app] actually, biden is telling a a small group of people that he's planning to run, but he still hasn't made a formal announcement. so i wanted to take this opportunity to say something to a small group, as we ♪ hi, joe biden.er
jimmy fallon [ laughter ] there's been a lot of anticipationmohese past few hs over whether or not you'll run for president. so from one american to another, l me just say, just announce you're running. admit it, we all know it's going to happen. you're like a guy wearing a ohbathing suit who's like, i don't know if i'm going to go swimming or not." we know you're going to do it. just do it. [ laughter ] jumpn the pool. you're like the person who orders fries for the table. we all know you just want some fries for yourself order the fries. [ laughter ] remember that speech you gave last week? >> i have the most progressive record of anybody running for the -- anybody who would run. jimmy: that's it! the cat's out of the bag, you did it. [ lauger ] what are you waiting for? a cool logo? here, use this. [ laughter ] you need a poster?he , you can have this. [ laughter ] just announce you're running. >> paid for by america just want joe biden to hurry up and announce he's running. [ cheers and applause ]my >> jbut, honestly, it's crazy how much people are already talking about the 2020 election. s and itll 594 days away.
just to give you an idea of how long that is. today beto o'rourke looks like this. but in 594 days he's going to look like this. [ laughter and applause ] i mean -- i you see wh saying? >> steve: wow, that's a long time. >> jimmy: it's a long time. >> steve: yeah. wow. >> jimmy: but things are already getting a little heated. for example, today, two s democrre asked who they plan to vote for in 2020. and here's what they had to say. first up, when asked who he plans to vote for, this guy said, "bernie or biden." when asked this voter, he said, "beto but maybe booker or buttigieg." [ laughter ] then the first voter turned around and said, "bro, bernie and biden are better than beto, buttigieg, and booker. you blind?" [ laughter ] then the other voter said, "that's bull. beto, buttigieg, and bare the bomb. bernie and biden are bumbling buffoons." [ laughter ]ir then the voter was like, "bumbling baffoons? that's below the belt, buddy. [ laughter ] bernie and bidene busting their balls balancing the budget when beto, buttigieg, and booker were barely born. [ laughter ] beto's got baggage, booker's bald, and boring buttigieg would barely beat that boob, jeb bush." [ laughter ] then the other voter said, "have you been banging beers at the bar, bro?
[ laughter ] get over your brboance. er's a badass, buttigieg is a boss, and beto's my beautiful bae. ] [ laught but bernie needs a barber, blundering biden's a want-to-be barack. and both of ya talkin' b.s., you basic beeyoch. bye." [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: relax. wow.: >> jimre's another big story in washington. kellyanne conway's husband, george, has been critical -- [ laughter ] wow. he's been very critical of president trump lately, so the presidentweeted that he thinks george conway is jealous of kellyanne's success.y yeah, toen melania was like, "how are those two still together?" and u go, "yeah." [ laughter and applause but trump's pretty upset at kellyanne's husband. this morning, he went on twitter and called geroge conway a stone cold an losehusband from hell. [ laughter ] kellyanne was like, "hey, he's my stone cold losefrom hell. [ laughter ] so, relax, let me." [ laughter and applause ] let's move on to something more fun. a lot of people arexcited about the new trailer for "stranger things."
did you see that? >> steve: no. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: it's season three, the kids are getting a little older. this time they deal with the fallouteafr their parents try bribing them into college. it's very interesting. telaughter and applae ] well, here's som news. apple just released a new pair of airpods today that work better with siri. so get ready for all those people shouting, "hey, siri, po where are my a? [ laughter and applause ] where did i drop it? e exa, can you ask siri wh my -- [ laughter ] i'll just a new pair. also, i sathat gucci is selling sneakers that are made to look dirty. laughter ] and they cost almost $900.: >> steat? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: take a look at these. yeah. [ ughter ] 900 bucks? they better come with $899 inside of them. that's -- [ laughter and applause ] and listen to this. you guys, peloton, the maker of those exercise bikes with video staming. you know those bikes? well, they're being sued for $150 million for using songs
from lady gaga, drake and other artists without permission. [ audience oohs ] bad news for peloton users. and one day they went from cycling to this -- ♪ just dance gonna be okay ♪ >> jimmy: to this -- ♪ 1-877-kars4kids [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: i'll just pay for gaga. i'll pay extra, come on. turn it off! [ laughter ] "we're going uphill, you guys. we're going uphill." [ laughter ] guys, this is cool, tonight americans got to see a a super worm equinox moon. ooh. yeah.qu super wormox moon. when they heard that, hurricanes were like, "how did we get stuck with naans like stevphil? i mean -- [ laughter and applause ] super worm?" here's a crazy story. a woman in upstate new york just gave birth to a healthy baby girl that weighs 15 pounds. >> steve: oh. [ audience ohs ] p >> jimmy: nds. when you give that baby a a bottle, she just unscrews the top and chugs it. [ laughter and applause ] be mother said she felt like she was, quote, "htwo
tractor trailers simultaneously." [ laughter ]e whe baby said, "it was no picnic for me either, candace." [ laughter and applause ] and finally, you guys, as i mentioned, t democratic race for 2020 is starting to heat up with over 15 candidates now running. following the race can be very stressful. so we wanted to do something about that. we sent our writer, arthur, down to the 30 rock plaza to ha ask people their thoughts on the democratic race while being given a massage.ht [ la ] it's time for "deep issues, deep tissues." check this out. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ deep issues deep tissues ♪ >> are you ready to answer some questions while being given a a massage? >> i am. yeah. >> you can step over to the table. do you think a moderate democrat could beat a more progressive candidate like bernie sanders or elizabeth warren? >> oh, yeah, definitely a a moderate. definitely a moderate because the moderate is going to grab most of the people from the dust belt -- rust belt. [ laughter ] >> what about kamala harris or
cory booker appeals to you? >> i like the -- i like way they -- they think about our country. how -- how they're really passionate about -- [ laughter ] >> what do you like about where his stances is on the issues? >> well, i like his -- [ laughter ] >> do you think a moderate democrat could beat a more progressive candidate like bernie sanders or elizabeth warren? >> i like bernie, i like elizabeth. but, oh, god. [ laughter ] yes, right there. >> now what would be the key issue that the democrats need to bring up in the election? >> uh -- [ laughter ] i don't know. >> what issues are most important to you as a voter? i would say that -- [ laughter ] health care reform. [ laughter ] >> you sound like a bird. what issues are most important to you as a voter? >> legalization of weed. [ laughter ]
have the nationwide -- the tax structure for that. oh, [ bleep ]. [ laughter ] >> do you think a moderate -- >> oh, yeah. >> what did you just say? >> i don't know. [ laughter ] >> i thought i heard you say something. >> something came out. [ laughter ] >> there you have it, jimmy. oh, it will be really interesting to find out how all this unfolds. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] [ grunting ] >> jimmy: thank you so much, arthur. gosh, he's a funny dude. [ laughter ] s hey, guys, march madness here. are you psyched about march madness? >> steve: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i got my bracket all filled out here. it took me way too long.bu i filled it out. i got -- i got duke to win it all. >> steve: oh. [ audience boos ] >> jimmy: yeah. i know, but i'm going for the win here, guys. -laughter ] and really, i mei have no -- i really have no idea what i'm doing, to be honest. [ laughter ] but that's the whole idea of this. right? it'such a long shot.
i don't know. anything can happen. but from what i read and from o, who i talkveryone says duke is going to go. >> steve: oh. >> jimmy: they got a great team. zion. that dude's is awesome. >> steve: yeah. that's the guy? >> jimmy: yeah, he's -- he's killer.g so i'm just go go for those dudes -- [ laughter ] i mean, i don't know. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. but, anyway, did you fill out your bracket? >> steve: i got it filled out, yeah. >> jimmy win?do you have to duke? >> steve: no. not at all. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what what are you talking about? >> steve: i have iowa to win. >> jimmy: what? >> steve: because i'm from iowa. and then i just reverse gineered it backwards. [ laughter ] >> so you're saying that you somehow can control the game from when you used to go to school in iowa? >> steve: yes, when i went there for two years and two [ laughter ] i went to the university of iowa. >> jimmy: i love that >> steve: they asked me to leave. >> jimmy: i love that you -- >> steve: and then i came back and i left on my own. [ lahter ] >> jimmy: i love that you count the two weeks that you're there. it's great. >> steve: yeah, well, two weeks. >> jimmy: kids would say, "i'm 4 1/2." >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: yeah, exyetly. >> steve, yeah. >> jimmy: questlove, did you do this bracket? >> questlove: yeah, i did it. i got virginia.rs [ chnd applause ] >> jimmy: you guys are clapping
for that? where -- where -- okay, so you have virginia? tariq, did you fill out your bracket? >> tariq: yep. yeah, my bracket is filled out. >> jimmy: now who do you have to win there, bud? >> tariq: i'm going to say villanova all the way. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: wow. jimmy: now, villanova, they're philly? >> tariq: yeah, man, obviously. [ laughter ] >>teve: wow. >> jimmy: that means you know all things about villanova. >> steve: this is likeatching espn. [ laughter ] >> tariq: i mean, you know, villana, they're from iladelphia. you know, they got that guard, phil booth. >> steve: oh, booth, yeah. >> tariq: yeah. i feel like jay wright is definite all the way this year. >> jimmy: you think so? >> tariq: yeah, villanova. >> jimmy: what's jay's first name? >> tariq: jaymaine. [ laughterja >> steveaine? >> jimmy: i don't know, man. >> steve: jermaine. >> jimmy: jemaine? >> tariq: yeah. >> steve: not jermaine jamaine. >> jimmy: jamaine. yeah. >> steve: jemaine. >> jimmy: jemaine, yeah. like out guest this eveing.>> ariq: yep. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: jemaine clement. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: who i love. dude, this dude's show is -- l steve: fantastic. >> jimmy: you saw t night? >> steve: it is so cleanly
perfect.at >> jimmy: s it called again? "what happenes when you're in the shadows" or something? >> steve: yes, it's -- >> jimmy: it's really funny.am it's about vres -- >> steve: who live on staten island. >> jimmy: who live on staten island. >> steve: yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: and they've been living there for 200 years. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: and then finally they're like overlord -- "it's time for you to conquer the world." >> steve: just take over the rth america. and they're going, "did he just mean staten island?" >> jimmy: it's well done. [ laughter ] it's well cast, as well. anyways -- anyways, guys, quest, tariq, higgins and i all made a bet. whoever has the highest scoring bracket by the end of the na tont gets to make the losers wear a customized in the it that's mad winning team's colors. and it even has the winning team's school logo all over it. we'll be checking in our brackets throughout the tournament. s we'll put this on out website so you c who's winning and losing. but i think mine looks pretty -- pretty good. >> steve: oh. it's going to be fun. we have a great show tonight. [ cheers and applause armie hammer is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] he's got a very funny new show on fx.en jemaine cl is here. [ cheers and applause ]
inand schoolboy q is perfo with the roots. [ cheers and applause ] ick around, when we come back, i am talking to armie hammer. come on back, everybody. [ cheers and applaus ] ♪ when a stuffy nose closes in... (whimper) breathe right strips open your nose up to 38% more than cold medicine alone. (deep breath) breathe better, sleep better. breathe right.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. as you guys know, we're always ng to get better here at "the tonight show." ♪ harder better faster stronger ♪ [ laughter ] so before every show, we puton out a suggesox for the audience just to get some feedback about what you guys think of the show, things you'd like to see us do, that kind of stuff. thank you so much for doing this.au you're the besence ever. i just want to -- [ cheers and applause ] tonight, let's look inside the udience suggestion box." here we go. ♪ here we go. here this first one here is from susan stewart. hey, jimmy. i'm a college student, and spring break is coming up. where was the best place youfo ever wenspring break? well, my best spring break was probably my sophomore year. i went to ft. lauder florida. loved it.
[ cheers and applause ]. it was aweso how about you, quest? >> questlove: senior year, my friends and i rented a lake house. it was great. >> jimmy: tariq? best spring break? >> tariq: my freshman year of college i went to new yo city. and i saw over 1,000 tapings of "the tonight show." [ laughter ] well, time to head back to school. [ laughter ] i don't want to be late for my chemistry lab. [ laughter and applause >> jimmy: i ways thought he worked here. >> steve: wow. i thought he was just an intern? or what? jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] i like that kid. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: this one's from n brentes. hey, jimmy. march madness just started, and i'm having trouble filling out my bracket. could you help me out? i -- well, we just talked about it. yes, i can. but actually, even better our friend shaq just released a a video of him doing his own rch madness bracket. he's got some really good tips. here. check this out. >> i'm shaq. here's my bracket. it's the shaq bracket. it's the shaqet. let's fill it out. florida state versus vermont. vermont's the home of ben &
jerry's. i love clever ice cream names. cherry garcia. phish food. tonight dough. if i had a ice cream flavor, it'd be shaqolate chip cookie dunk. vermont wins [ ring ] michigan state versus bradley. i love bradley cooper. can't believe he didn't win the oscar. dude was robbed. "star was born," best movie of the past 200 years. ♪ end the sha sha sha sha shaq ♪ bradley wins. [ ring ] mississippi state versus liberty. m-i-s-s-i-s-s-i-p-p-i. i could do that all day. statue of litirty? bel, but how come she's not dunking a basketball? massive architectural omission.s sippi wins. [ ring ] vcu versus ucf. o-m-g.f. w- i-d-k. s-h-a-q. both teams lose. [ buzzer ] tennessee versus colgate. i love colgate toothpaste. minty fresh flavor that prevents cavities and gingivitis. good bye plaque. hello shaq. colgate wins. [ ring ] wofford versus seton hall. wofford? what the hl is a wofford? sounds like a dog. i'm 47-years-old, never heard of wofford. for real? wofford? wofford? no way, seton hall wins. [ ng ] louisville versus minnesota. minnesota, twin cities, twins
freak me out. y they got to look so similar? [ laughter ] but wait. imagine twin shaqs, or shaq triplets? i'm shaq. i'm shaq. i'm shaq. twins are the best. minnesota wins. [ ring ] let's skip to the end. louisiana state wins. that's where i went to school. u m shaq. >> jimmy: there . [ cheers and applause ] i hope that that helped you out. [ applause ] little advice for you. let's get to another suggestion here. this one is from craig hathaway. hey jimmy. i read that cvs is changing their hold music for the first time in 20 years. do you have any idea what the new hold music will sound like? that's a great question. thanks for asking me. well, here's what their original hold musisounded like ♪ ♪ turns out the new hold music is exactly the same. but they just added rics. here, let me -- let me give them a call, and at the hold music sounds like. [ dial tone ] [ phone ringing ]♪ ♪
>> we are experiencing unusually high call volume at this time. but please, stay on the line. ♪ ♪ on hold you're on hold you're on hold with cvs ♪ ♪ that used to stand for annsumer value store but now it just for cvs ♪ ♪ when you come by at your leisure to test ur blood pressure [ cheers and applause ] oh cvs we love you so ♪ ♪ but maybe you should call
back tomorrow [ chee and applause ] >> steve: gosh, it's just beautiful. beautiful. b that wutiful. >> jimmy: let me try one more from the old sugg box here. this is from tyler turnbull. hey, jimmy. i love the "cheese challenge" where you throw a piece of c americese on someone's thce. i'm also so excite march madness is back. you should combine the two. that's a great idea. so, here now to cheese me from the women's ncaa tournent. please welcome the a-10 champions, the fordham rams. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: okay, you're going to have 15 seconds to cheese me as ny times as you can. let's get into position.
[ laughter ] ys look too happy to do this. all right. here we go. 3. 2. 1. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] [ buzzer ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right. thank you very much. time is up now. usank you. [ cheers and app] our thanks to the fordham rams, everybody. that's it for "suggestion box."h ouks to jemaine clements. the fordham rams. good luck at the tournament. stick around. we'll be right back with armie hammer, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our first guest is abe a golden gominated actor starring in the new movie, wh "hotel mumbai,h opens this friday in new york, and los angeles, and nationwide next friday. please welcome armie hammer. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: we love you. welcome back to the show, buddy. >> thank you, dude. thank you. jimmy: great to see you look at you being a stud right here on the cover of this magazine right there. not too shabby. [ cheers and appuse ] yeah. >> jimmy: you know, it's funny. i read the a>>icle in this. h-huh. >> jimmy: and i found out some interesting information.
>> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. last time you were oour show, u shaved your head. >> i did. >> jimmy: backstage in the dressing room. >> i did. i di: yeah. >> jimd i go, why'd you do it? and you said, "i just -- i just was tired of my hair." >> yeah, it's partially true. i was tired of my hair. but also it was an ongoing bet that i had with two of my buddies. we were going to do this sort of, like, keto diet for a a month. and then that turned into, like, two months. and i know for a fact that everybody cheate nobody actually finished the bet. and i'm -- where's the camera? >> jimmy: yeah. >> and i'm talking to you tyler. >> jimmy: yeah, tyle >> and i'm talking to you luka! i know you guys didn't do it. and i didn't do it either. and i'm the only one who has the [ bleep ]damn respect to shave my head when i did it. >> jimmy: yes! thank you. s. [ cheers ] >> and none of you guys did. and i shaved my head. and shame on all of you. [ laught[ ] eers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh my god. >> yeah. yeah. yeah. >> jimmy: wow. tell them. tell them! >> yeah. >> jimmy: i'm so happy i got to meet your beautiful wife and beautiful family backstage. >> yeah. >> jimmyhow old is your
ttle girl? >> harper is four. >> jimmy: four. >> yeah. she's four and a -- well, she will tell you, "i'm four and a half." >> jimmy: oh, yeah. four and a half. yeah. >> yeah. >> jimmy: of course. lf's very important, that yeah. >> very important. still doing art. still, you know, still doing her thing. yeah.my >> ji actually brought some of her art, because i just wanted to remind everybody about -- remember her drawing -- >> yes. >> jimmy: last time yoght of the eiffel tower. >> yes. >> jimmy: which was beautiful. your teacher -- here's a drawing of the eiffel tower. >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: there you go.ea that looksiful. [ laughter and applause ] >> yeah. so there's like a theme in her art. >> jimmy: yeah. >> yeah, yeah, yeah. i went and my wife and i actually went together to pick her up from school one day, and the teacher came out with harper. and she said, "well, harper did another drawing." h.d i said, "oh, she did?" and she said, "y it's a family portrait." [ light laughter ] and i said, "oh, can i see it?" she said, "yeah."ll and she it out. and she said harper drew he elf, and her friend. so this is harper with the bow in her hair. >> jimmy: yeah.
>> as harper will say, no bow, no go. [ light lauger ] this is harper's friend siena. >> jimmy: yeah. >> this is my wife, and this is me. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: congrat lations, fi all. >> yeah, yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: congratulations. that's unbelievable.th >> bway -- >> jimmy: well done. >> i also -- >> jimmy: that's cool. >> yeah. i felt really good about this. [ laughter ] and i was like, "yeah! she drew me." yeah, there you go. and then harper clarified and said, "but y, this is fordy --" -- our son, ford -- "--standing in front of you. here's his head, here's his arms, and here's his legs."im >>: aw. of course that's what that was. >> yeah, of course. >> jimmy: of course. why did she have to explain that to us? ye y. h, yeah. >> jimmy: it's the cutest thing ever. oh, my gosh. >> i know. >> jimmy: she's awesome. >> yeah. >> jmy: i saw you post a a photo on instagram with you and timothee chalamet --h, >>eah. >> jimmy: in london, posing in front of your own magazine covers. >> yeah, yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: that's you, and then that's timothee there. >> that's timothee, so we were out for a night out in london, and timmy was also the and we went and had like a
a wonderful dinner out, and, you know, and we were walking back from the restaurant. and we happened to walk by a window. and i don't know who noticed it, if it was timmy or my wife, elizabeth.s but she ke, "hey, look at this." and we were like, "oh, this is too good to be true." so, we kind ofumped in front each other's cover and there it is. >> jimmy: that's pretty fun. yeah. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i mean do you gut hang out tch? after the -- i mean, the movie's wrapped. >> i mean, the movie wrapped like six years ago. let's be honest.>> immy: yeah, exactly. >> but yeah, we still do. >> jimmy: that's fantastic. >> yeah, we exchanged facetime calls today, actually. yeah. >> jimmy: i love that you stay in touch with him. >> yeah. >> jimmy: there was a rumor that there might be l sequel to "c by your name." is that -- >> yeah, who knows. >> jimmy: no. you dot -- >> no, i mean, like, here's the deal. andre aciman wants to write another book. luka wants to write the script. timmy and i are down as e ng as they g each $12 million. >> jimmy: that's exactly right. [ laughter ] >> but, yeah so, i mean, who knows? who knows? >> jimmy: i love -- do you likhearing those rumors and stuff like that? or does that just -- it doesn't mean anything? >> this is the thing about rumors, they're all fine. they're all well and good, but none of the people who start rumors are actually the people who can give you jobs. >> jimmy: yeah.
>> so it's always like, "oh, are you going to play batman?" d i'm like, "well, you just asked me, but guess who hasn't? warner brothers." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, exactly. >> the people that own batman. >> jimmy: yeah, man,s not -- >> like what are you going to do? >> jimmy: no one's brought that up to you? cause i heard ben affleck's >>epping down. >> yeah. immy: and then your name was on, like, top of everyone's list to play --. no one's asked? no one's talked to you about this? >> no, dammit. no.w. >> jimmy: [ light laughter ] i mean, would you consider it? >> yeah. of course. like, who wouldn't want to be batman? t think every guy in this audience would w be batman if they could. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah, that's a great idea. >> it's a good gig. yeah.my >> jyeah, it's a great gig. yeah. let's talk about your movie, that actually is a movie that's t. >> right, the real one. yes, yes. >> jimmy: yeah, the real. "hotel mumbai." >> yeah.s >> jimmy: thissed -- this is a true story. >> it's a true story. >> so, it's the 26/11 attacks it's a story of a sort of radicalized pakistani group who came in, and laid seize to the city of india, i'm sorry, of the city of mumbai. they all then converged on the hotel j. and it's the story of how this happened. >> jimmy: and who do you play in the movie? >> i play david duncan, who iss a guy who ere with his
wife, and child, and nanny. he they're there when attacks happen. and he's actually in the restaurant of the hotel with his wife having a meal when the gunmen sort of converge on the hotel. and he has to make this incredibly difficult decision of, you know, i'm here with my wife. do i stay here with my wife? or do i go and try to rescue my ?hild knowing that they're going room to ro and it's actually based on a a true story of a husband and wife who were there. and they made a decision of like, doe stay together while the hotel is being attacked? or do we intentionally separate knowing that our odds of survival might not increase invidually, but if we're separate then maybe the chances of our child not being an aphan are better. and it's just real a hellacious kind of thing to go through. >> jimmy: i can't evgine. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i want to show everyone a clip. here's armie hammer and dev patel in "hotel mumbai." ta a look at this. >> i love you so much. [ crying ]
>> we need the police right now. right now. we've called you five times. please send someone. please, please -- >> my kid is upstairs. do you have a family? >> yes. and i hope to stay alive and see them. >> no, no -- [ talking over each other ] >> jimmy: oof. armie hammer, everybody. [ cheersnd applause ] "hotel mumbai" opens nationwide next friday. [ cheers and applause ] "tonight show" after th break. stick around, everybody. ♪ yaaaayyy!!!
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hed on friday, we'll be talking to norman reedus our buddy as well. [ cheers and applause ] but be sure be sure to watch next monday. we are going to try something new. we're going to shoot the entire show on a samsung galaxy s10 plus smart phone. [ cheers ] heah, i'll be going around city at night checking out some cool places. there are going to be some surprise guests.ny is thereuests i can give away? i could say conner? i may or may not be going to a a bar with conor mcgregor. [ cheers and applause ] yeah anyways, all right, so check that out. cause monday might be my last show. [ laughter ] monday, march 25th. it's going to be great, you guys, stick around, we'll be right back with jemaine clements. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ i'm on the pill. i'm on the pill. i'm on the pill. i'm on the pill, too. but it's not birth control. it's truvada for prep®, a once-daily prescription medicine for adults that,
when taken every day along with using safer sex practices, can help lower my chances of getting hiv through sex. i use condoms. but i talked to my doctor about doing more. he said that because i had a higher chance of getting hiv through sex, truvada for prep could be an option for me. she also told me that truvada alone may not keep me from getting hiv. and it does not prevent other stis or pregnancy. you must be hiv-negative to take truvada for prep. so you need to get tested for hiv immediately before, and at least every 3 months, while taking truvada. if you think you were exposed to hiv or have flu-like symptoms, tell your doctor right away. they may do more tests to confirm you are still hiv negative. serious side effects can occur, including kidney problems, kidney failure, and bone problems, which may lead to fractures. rare, life-threatening side effects include a build-up of lactic acid and liver problems. tell your doctor about all the medicines you take, if you are pregnant or breastfeeding, or if you have kidney, bone, or liver problems, including hepatitis. if you have hepatitis b, do not stop taking truvada without talking to your doctor.
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: our next guest is one half of the grammy-winning comedy duo "flight of the concords." he also writes executive od es the new fx series, "what we do in the shadows, "which premieres march 27th at 10:00 p.m. please welcome jemaine clement, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
>> jimmy: jemaine clement, oh man. >> let's sit down. >> jimmy: thank you for coming to see me. you know'm a giant fan of yours. the last time i talked to you was, is it true, that it was five years a i. >> wthat long? >> jimmy: yeah. it was longer than that, maybe it was "late night." >> oh, it was. >> jimmy: yeah. what do you remember about that if anything? w t a wonderful time. there's e first time i've done one of these talk shows before. and i've had conversations before. >> jimmy: you have? [ laughter ] >> i have, i have. >> jimmy: assuming, yeah. hope so. >> yeah, there's other elements like aaudience, and i don't know if you realize that it's televised as well. on jimmy: yeah. >> on the televi >> jimmy: it's on the television. yeah. >> yeah. >> jimmy: televised. >> so i was really nervous, ando t know if you know much about talk shows, but you usualltell anecdotes, where, you know, you're like -- you talk about some kind of things that might come up. and i completely -- i watch them on talk shows. i always go, he'upsetting that so obvious he's setting that up for that person to talk about
their funny story. >> jimmy: yeah. >> but when i was in the show, i did not know. i did not know you were setting me up to tell my funny story. [ laughter ] you're asking me questions and i was going, "yeah, that's true." [ laughter ] you're like, "and any funny stories that happened around that time?" not that i can rememr. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i kept setting you up? >> yeah. d i didn't get a -- i just didn't get a -- at the end i was so relieved, i just said, "can i go now?" and you said, "usually people stay for a little u ile." and id, "but it's cool if you go." and i went, "okay, i'm just going to go." [ laughter ] and then i went all the way to the hotel and your producer called me and i still had the microphone on. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i'm so sorry. >> as long as you guys didn't hear me going, "oh, phew, oh, god, that was horrible." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: we did not hear that at all. >> oh, good, you turned it off. >> jimmy: yeah, exactly, yeah. >> i d all sorts of stuff with that microphone on. it was a big relief. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, yeah. no record of anything that was said.
>> okay, good. >> jimmy: have you retned the microphone tonight? >> i'm wearing the same one. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, ba god. and thery lasted for five years. [ cheers and applause ] >> yeah. >> jimmyjemaine, i do have to say -- you know, i love you from "flight of the concord" but i ve you as the crab in "moana." cheers and applause ] it was so well done. it was very you but very a b a littiesque thrown in there, and just well done. i mean, do people just want you to record on their phones? what are they -- >> people don't really -- because i don't look like a a crab. [ laughter ] they don't really know. >> jimmy: that's how you get away with itye that's smart. >> for that show that i'm talking about tonight, we're into comic con. and there's people in cosplay. >> jimmy: yeah. >> costume play.ht [ light la ] and when i was leaving, i saw these two people, a man dressed as maui from "moana."
>> jimmy: sure. >> and then a woman in this elaborate costume, te fiti, the island goddess from the movie. " and i thoughm going to give these guys a bit of a a thrill." [ laughter ] they're taking a selfie, and i just, like, slid in there. i just sd in. [ laughter ]ke and they're - yeah, they started looking at me like that. yeah, and i was like, "oh, yeah, you guys don't know, i'm -- i do the voice of tamatoa." and they're like, "you mean, you can do an impression?" they didn't know what i meant. [ laughter ] i said, "no, nup if you loomdb, look up "moana." i'm the guy who does -- >> jimmy: your famous -- [ talking over each other ] >> jimmy: google my face? >> not now, because they're using their phone to take a a selfie. [ laughter ] >> jim photo bombing, they have no idea who you are. [ laughter ] like, "what is this guy talking about?" oh, my god. >> i want to see those photos. if you have them. >> i would love to send that photo. >> jimmy: hashtag awkward --in [ taover each other ] it's got to be out there. next time you come on, i want to show it. that will be great. >> let's talk about your new
show on fx. man, it's fantastic. >> oh, thanks. >> jimmy: if you guys like vampires and --li >> these guy vampires. >> jimmy: you like vampires? [ cheers and applause ]st if you liken island. do you guys like staten island? well this is -- explain what this show is. >> well, this is a documentary. ye. so, serious documentary. >> jimmy: i apologize -- >> i make >> jimmy: making light of the -- >> i mean, people -- people die. >> jimmy: yeah. >> there's vampires. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: absolutely they've been around -- they've been in staten island for how many years you think? >> since the 1800s. >> jimmy: wow, good gosh. >> yeah, so there's a lot of footage. >> jimmy: and they allowed the cameras -- they allowed the cameras to follow them around? >> i mean, usually. yes. at's very dangerous, it' very brave. i'm a very brave person to make this show. mplight laughter ] to be so close to es. >> jimmy: well, there's different types of vampires, correct? >> there's the type that everyone's used to. they blood type.
they drink blood. >> jimmy: yep. yep. >> and there's another kind of mpire. energy vampire. >> jimmy: i don't know. i'm not familiar with that one. >> you do know them. they -- people -- they often corner you in parties and they'll have long conversations with you and you can't get out. [ laughter ] and you feel more and more tired. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: energy vampires? >> yes. >> jimmy: so they'll cyou in a party. >> you feel more and more tired and they get that energy. [ lahter ] >> jimmy: they sucked the energy out of you, yeah. interesting. i want to show everyone a clip. here's the scene from the premiere of "what we do in the shadows." take a look at this. >> i would like some of that colorful dust that sparks. >> glitter? >> yes, get me some glitter. >> whatever for, master? want to do something special for the immortal one's arrival. i'm going to sprinkle it on my face and on my body. like "twilight."
so deliciously macabre. creepy paper. >> it's crepe paper. >> creepy paper. >> it's crepe paper, master. >> creepy -- oh, multipack. >> master, ts is pretty macabre. ahh!my >> jimmy: ohoodness. [ cheers and applause ] jermaine clement, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] "what we do in the shadows" premieres march 27th at 10:0p.m. on fx. very brave of you to do that. >> yeah. >> jimmy: schoolboy q performs for us next. stick around, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: performing "numb numb juice" and "chopstix" with a a little help from the roots, give it up for schoolboy q. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ two door coup hopping out like jack in the box i'm gon if this 30's all that i got ♪ ♪ time's up got my coins up bars up soon we find them ♪ ♪ we gon slide them we lined themli straight rned them grip i got all kinds of ♪ ♪ i'm not your driversh gon hit him he won't answer i'm blowing ganja ♪ ♪ so much work they call me old school i'll remind ya that girl you think you got ♪ ♪ is not you where you find her she a kickstd a big fan ♪ ♪ i get behind her then i slid it in i win i wint' i mean thas ♪ ♪ faking like you got it in your pockets man that's wea talking to them ♪ ♪ you steady gossip man that's weak
telling on your man so you can scram ♪ ♪ ya that's weak pull it out and acting like it j ya that's weak♪ ♪ hating on anotherome up ya that's weak staying in because you know it's summer ♪ ♪ ya that's weak you a boy on my momma okay let's get it t's get it woo ♪ ♪ g a plan we gon' his man the gun won't m it's on on sight ♪ ♪ i might get life 's on my life the 44 bit i go green light build that price ♪ ♪ it fill up nice the god won't die okay let's get it let's get it woo ♪ ♪ see no flaws iny purest form i'm gritty uh goyard tags ♪ ♪ filled with hella cash kiss my gimmie bag zeros add we don't do no class ♪ ♪ not subtracting two door coup hoping out like jack in the box ♪ ♪ i'm gon if this 30's all that i go yall on mute ain't no back talk ♪ ♪ on my block numb numb juice to t head up the ops two door coup ♪ ♪ hoping out e ke jack in thx i'm gon if this 30's all that i got ♪ ♪ yall on mute
ain't no back talk on my block numb numb juice ♪ ♪ to the head up the opps ♪ch rs and applause ] ♪ fly i'm too high watch ♪ ♪ splash car fast dash ♪ soon smooth ooh spent ♪ ♪ cash glide by chopsticks ♪ ♪ chopsticks chopsticks i love them chopsticks chopsticks chopsticks ♪ ♪ o chop chop chop yeah chop ♪ ♪ chop chop chop chopsticks chopsticksch opsticks i love these chopsticks ♪ ♪ chopsticks chopsticks ooh chop chop chop yeah ♪ ♪ chop ch chop chop it's lit aye ♪
♪ i'm trippin on you i gotta have you i spent it on you i might buy two ♪ ♪ now get in my coup i like her legs up like chopsticks luxury in my optics ♪ ♪ your ex mans on the opps list i'm validated to p i'm a high profile ♪ hundred mile flex flyin down the aisle blowing loud♪ ♪ flex bad habit wit bad habits beat the up stab at it ♪ ♪ diving in like i'm m at it secure the baged all static hey ♪ ♪ chopsticks chopsticks chopsticks i love them chopsticks chopsticks chopsticks ♪ ♪ ooh chop chop chop yeah chop ♪ ♪ chop chop chop chopsticks chopsticks chopsticks i love these chopsticks ♪ ♪ chopsticks chopsticks oo chop chop chop♪ yeah♪ ♪ cp chop chop chop it's lit ♪ ♪
>> new album. dropping, very, very, very soon. a [ chee applause ] >> jimmy: schoolboy [ cheers and applause ] schoolboy q. the new musiis streaming now. my thanks to armie h jemaine clement, the fordham rams, schoolboy q and the roots right there. [ cheers and applause stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching. have a great night. hope to see you tomorrow. bye-bye everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
♪ ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- amy schumer, from nbc's "abby's", actress music from pup, featuring the 8g band with fred armisen. ♪ eers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] that is so great to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. after white house counselor kellyanne conway's husband questioned president trump's mental state in a series of tweets over the weekend, trump today call