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tv   The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon  NBC  October 19, 2016 10:34pm-11:37pm CDT

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[ cheers and applause ] ?? >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center in the heart of new york city, it's "the tonight show starring jimmy fallon." tonight, join jimmy and his guests -- margot robbie,
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and featuring the legendary roots crew. >> questlove: 544! >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! ?? ?? [ cheers and applause ] enjoy yourself. welcome. welcome. please, have a seat. enjoy yourself. welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, everyone to "the tonight show." this is it. [ cheers and applause ] this is the show. this is the one to be at tonight. hot show tonight. hot show! [ cheers and applause ]
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we'll get to the show. first, here's what everyone is talking about. of course, it is still the election. and i saw that hillary clinton actually went to her granddaughter's second birthday party instead of preparing for the first debate against trump. yeah. i guess she figured being around a bunch of screaming toddlers might help her even more. [ laughter and applause ] that's right, hillary went to her granddaughter's second birthday party. apparently she played her favorite party games -- duck, duck, question and pin the blame on the i.t. guy. [ laughter and applause ] i never heard those -- while speaking to the students at the university of new hampshire yesterday, hillary clinton said, quote, "isn't this one of the strangest elections you've ever seen?" and then college kids were like, "uh, we're 18. [ laughter and applause ] it is the only election we've ever seen." haven't seen that many. and get this. hillary said that when she was a young woman going to law school, she had to take out loans, because her dad couldn't
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because he'd already gone broke donating to her future presidential campaign. [ laughter and applause ] "another fundraising letter? ugh, all right." i read that just this past week, hillary clinton spent $12 million on campaign ads compared to donald trump who only spent $600,000. and you can really tell donald trump is doing campaign ads as cheaply as possible. take a look at this recent ad. ?? >> our children watch everything we do. and the person we elect as president has the power to come. hillary has spent her entire career bringing folks together on behalf of our kids. >> wrong. >> hillary will be a president our kids can look up to. >> wrong. >> a president who believes in our kids and will fight for them every day. >> wrong. >> that's why i believe in -- >> donald trump! >> i hope you'll join me. >> i'm -- >> donald trump! >> and i approved this message. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i guess it gets the point across. >> steve: wrong. >> jimmy: actually, michelle obama is campaigning quite a bit for hillary clinton. and yesterday she said hillary
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who has any idea what being president is like. then trump said, "i heard that on thanksgiving, you get to fire a turkey." [ light laughter ] [ applause ] "that's what i'm hearing." and bernie sanders is also campaigning with hillary. yesterday he asked a crowd at one of her rallies, "is everybody here ready to transform america?" followed by his next question, "does anybody here remember where i parked?" [ laughter and applause ] "it's a '94 taurus. with the left blinker on." and get this, donald trump is reportedly angry that his advisers are saying that he struggled during the first debate. then his advisors were like, "oh, so you can hear us." [ laughter ] "it was as if there were a wall between us." check this out, you guys. e-sports has been getting really big lately and a lot of professional video game players are actually getting pretty famous.
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name of seagull finishing up an interview at a competition this week. and check out his cool handshake at the end. watch. >> excellent, man. thank you very much for your time. and we're gonna send it back to the desk right now. oh! [ laughter ] i'm not gonna leave you hanging. i'm not gonna leave you hanging. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: in case you missed it, let's get a closer look at that handshake. [ laughter ] [ laughter and applause ] i guess video games help with the hand-eye coordination, but not hand-hand coordination. and finally, here's a crazy story. this week, a woman in tennessee walked into her home and found two burglars having sex on her couch. when they tried to run away, she yelled, "at least steal the couch!" [ laughter and applause ] who needs it? we have a great show tonight, you guys. give it up for the roots! [ cheers and applause ]
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?? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we have a giant show tonight. this saturday, she is hosting the season premier of "saturday night live" with musical guest, the weeknd. margot robbie is stopping by! [ cheers and applause ] current vice president of the united states. we are delighted to have him here. vice president joe biden is on the show tonight! >> steve: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] good show. >> jimmy: amazing. and then, i'm so excited for this. for the first time ever on "the tonight show," we have music from metallica! [ cheers and applause ] oh! "hardwired...to self-destruct"! metallica. i mean --
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they don't do -- they don't do this type of stuff. they don't do tv. they don't do -- they always do travel with joe biden. >> steve: that's true. [ laughter ] that's one thing they do. >> jimmy: that's one thing, you know. but so -- a good. i'm just so happy they're here. what a great, giant show. thank you guys so much for being here tonight and watching. [ cheers and applause ] very exciting. first for you guys right now, it is time for "tonight show" hashtags. here we go. [ applause ] ? hashtags hashtags ? >> jimmy: here we go. you guys are on twitter, right? are you on twitter? [ cheers ] we use twitter on our show every single week. so if you watch our show and you want to play along, we do this thing every wednesday where i send out a hashtag and we ask you guys to tweet out things based on that topic. so since the first presidential debate was this week, and both candidates received plenty of advice from their campaign staff, i went on twitter and sent out a hashtag called
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do you get it? >> steve: got it. [ light laughter ] i don't get it. >> jimmy: i don't have to describe -- yeah. we asked you guys to tweet out some funny, weird, or just plain bad advice that you've gotten. we got thousands of tweets. within 30 minutes it was a a trending topic in the u.s. [ cheers and applause ] so thank you so much for those tweets. now i thought i'd share some of my #badvice tweets from you guys. this one's from @micahwilliams24. he says, "guy at work tried to give me marriage advice and finished with, 'trust me, i've been married three times.'" [ laughter and applause ] "that's three times the experience." [ light laughter ] this one's from @2omarsc1. sounds like he's a robot or something. [ light laughter ] he says, "when someone had a a cold, my grandma used to tell them to drink tequila because, 'either you'll lose the cold or you'll forget about it.'" [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: that's good advice. >> jimmy: good idea.
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he says, "my grandpa once told me not to use my blinker when driving, because 'it's no one's business where you're going.'" [ laughter and applause ] hey, mind your own business. this one's from @britbroadhouse. she says, "i was told to sprinkle baby powder on my sheets the freshen them up. i woke up looking like a a powdered doughnut." [ laughter and applause ] slept like a baby, literally. this one's from @chelseybunbun. that's a good one. she says, "my dad told me if you have a bad cough, take a a laxative -- then you'll be afraid to cough." [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: what? >> jimmy: what is he talking about? >> steve: that's why they call her bun bun. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i don't know. this last one's from @kellygator. she says, "bought a car that smelled like cigarettes, was
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pickled cigarettes." [ laughter and applause ] there you have it. those are our "tonight show" hashtags. to check out more of our favorites, go to tonightshow.com/hashtags. stick around, we'll be back with margot robbie, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ?? ?? (foot steps) ?? ?? (jet engine) ?? (heart beat) ?? (water splashing) (rain drops) (engine revving) (tires on wet road) ?? lease the exhilarating 2017 lincoln mkz for $349 a month only at your lincoln dealer.
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?? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: she stole the show this summer playing harley quinn in "suicide squad," and a few days from now she's hosting the 42nd season live" with musical guest, the weeknd. please give a warm welcome to one of our favorites. here's margot robbie! ?? ?? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: margot! hi.
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are you so excited? >> i love coming here. it is such an ego boost. >> jimmy: it is? no, we love having you here. please, please, please. i'm psyched to have you here, i'm psyched to have vice president joe biden and i'm psyched to have metallica all in one show. >> i know -- that is like -- >> jimmy: i'm very excited. i'm nervous. >> that's mind blowing. metallica. >> jimmy: isn't that great? >> i mean and the vice president, but like metallica. that's insane. >> jimmy: have you ever seen the vice president in concert? [ laughter ] metallica? have you seen those guys? concert. but i meant, i love them. >> jimmy: did you have like a a metal phase, did you ever get into? >> i did. i had a real, like, heavy metal phase. when i was like 14. and i dyed my hair black and i literally cut with it a razor blade. and i would only wear band shirts and like, only listen to like the heaviest of heavy metal. >> jimmy: and who were you into? >> i was a really weird phase. like silverstein and like, bullet for my valentine. >> jimmy: really. >> slipknot. i went to a slipknot concert.
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probably the best concert i've ever gone to. >> jimmy: is that right? >> it was amazing. >> jimmy: slipknot. >> it's just an amazing performance. even if you don't like metal, i think you would appreciate a a slipknot concert. because it's just like incredible to watch. i was on a soap at the time in australia called "neighbors." and, as you can imagine, the people that would generally watch "neighbors," you'd imagine it would be like families at dinner time or like young people. but at the slipknot concert, i got more recognized at the slipknot concert than anywhere else i'd ever been whilst on "neighbors." and i was like well, this is one place no one is ever going to come up to me here. and like, these huge guys with like, tattoos and like, piercings everywhere, would be like, "is bridget's baby really dead?" and i'll be like -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: at the slipknot concert? >> yeah. and i was like you watch "neighbors?" are you serious? >> jimmy: i love it. you would never know. you never know anyone's story. >> they loved everyone. it was so random. >> jimmy: that's the coolest thing ever. i love hearing that. "saturday night live", i'm hearing the best things from everybody. they loved having you there all week. >> oh my god. it's so like --
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>> it's really fun, right? >> yeah. i've been upstairs all week. it's really fun. but it's like -- >> jimmy: what's weirding you out. what's making you -- what's your experience? >> it -- it's just like not -- i don't know if i'm going to be able to pull it off. and like so many times, we did the table read yesterday. and was just about to go to lorne's office and like -- just be like, you got the wrong girl for the job. i'm so sorry, but i shouldn't do this. you should get someone else to come in and do it. and i hope it's not too late, but i'm going to like not do it. and everything? they have great writers. >> yes, no. they are amazing. >> jimmy: they'll make it work. you have the weekend performing as well. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you get to see him rehearse at all? >> i haven't seen him rehearse. we shot like, one quick promo. i didn't want to be like -- i didn't want to like stand out. it is so weird meeting people that you idolize. you don't want to be uncool. like, i met kate mckinnon. we did a promo. and i'm like, such a huge fan of hers. i met her. and i was just like, i didn't know what to say. it was so embarrassing. she came over here. she was like, a big fan.
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[ laughter ] and i was like no, i'm your fan. >> jimmy: that is a great impression of kate mckinnon. that's unbelievable. >> she was just like, big fan. i was like, no, i'm your -- you never say what you think you want to say when you meet someone like that. you just sound uncool. >> jimmy: did you give any tattoos to anyone this week? >> i haven't given a tattoo this week. >> jimmy: the last time we talked about this, and this is something you end up doing on the set is you actually, illegally, i should add -- >> is there a law against it? >> jimmy: i'm sure you have to people, yeah. >> i've always wondered if it is like okay to do that. >> jimmy: you give tattoos to people on the set and they let you do it because you're so charming and nice. >> they make it seem like fun. then afterwards, why did i do it? >> jimmy: well you did this one, i said give me a drawing of what you would tattoo. >> yeah, last time i was here. >> jimmy: and you drew this. a little girl with a balloon. [ light laughter ] >> that's my specialty. like stick figurey. >> jimmy: i love that so much. seriously, i think that's one of the cutest drawings ever, and i'm not ready to get a
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>> jimmy: but i was thinking, i had a rubber stamp made of the drawing. i thought maybe if you would like, you can give me my first tattoo. it is just -- it's kind of temporary. it will last the weekend. yeah. >> oh, my god! >> jimmy: i'm going to do it. >> that is so thoughtful, jimmy. [ cheers and applause ] all right. >> on your bum cheek? >> jimmy: no, no. i think here is cool, right? >> we'll play it safe. >> jimmy: i do play it safe, yeah. >> next time wll real though. >> jimmy: i don't know. alright girl, here we go. ?? oh, not bad. [ cheers and applause ] >> can i have one too? >> jimmy: yeah. you have the show. you have the show. >> you said that. >> jimmy: are you sure? >> i'll wash it off. these aren't permanent so it should be easy. >> jimmy: ok, ready pal. i'm so psyched to get it. >> oh my god, i love it! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that means you're
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you guys, do not miss margot robbie hosting the season premier of "saturday night live" this weekend! we love you! vice president joe biden joins us after the break. stick around, everybody.
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i got it, dad. ow! ? we love to keep them safe. so we made the nest protect smoke and carbon monoxide alarm. it speaks up and can alert your phone if there's a problem. or let you know if everything is just fine. because, ya know, we worry. ? i'm russ feingold and i approve this message. you know, seven hundred thousand dollars in the scheme of things... is a pretty reasonable compensation level. ron johnson paid himself seven hundred thousand dollars a year. all told, he took a ten million dollar corporate payout
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ainst even the existence of any federal minimum wage. millions for him. not even $7.25 an hour for us. senator ron johnson. for big corporate interests, not wisconsin. ?? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we are very honored to welcome our next guest to "the tonight show." he's the 47th vice president of the united states. everyone, please welcome vice president joe biden! [ cheers and applause ]
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?? welcome to the show. and thank you for being here. >> it's good to be here. >> jimmy: oh, please, it's my pleasure. >> just before we begin, i'm a a fan so go easy on me. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, thank you. me, too. i actually met you once before. we were at a time 100 event. >> that's right. >> jimmy: it was a beautiful apologized for making all the jokes that we've made about you i said, but that's my job. [ light laughter ] >> and i didn't get a cut. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: didn't even get one little cut. but, we actually did some research. i've probably done 347 jokes about you while you were in office. [ light laughter ] >> shouldn't i get some royalty for that or something? >> jimmy: yeah, we can probably get -- you want some water? got a mug of water we can offer you that. >> i've not been gainfully employed since i've been 26.
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this job. >> jimmy: i remember when we were talking that night and i said, i'm sorry, you know, but i have to do these jokes. and you were a great sport about it. you said, well, imagine if i ran for president. >> well, hell, your ratings would go way up. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i was bowing to you. i said please make that happen. yeah. i got to see you speak that night and i have to say i was so impressed. you were just such an amazing -- >> uh oh. >> jimmy: no, i'm serious. it was a moving speech. and it was great. it was right after the boston marathon attack. and, you spoo and beautifully about america and how, you know, we stand up to, you know, to these attacks and we don't let terror stop us. it just, it was fantastic. i mean, people were crying. when i say people, i was crying. [ light laughter ] you quoted an irish poem. and i think it was heaney or something. >> seamus heaney, yeah. >> jimmy: seamus heaney? >> "the cure of troy."
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are now, if we're smart. he says, "history teaches us not to hope on this side of the grave, but then once in a a lifetime, that longed-for tidal wave of justice rises up and hope and history rhyme." i really think we're at that place in american history. if we just have the nerve to seize the moment. i -- the american people never bend, they never break, they're generous. and i wish we would stop talking about how, what trouble we're in. we are in a er than any country in the world to own the 21st century. we really are. >> jimmy: that's right. >> we really are. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: anyway, i love that. now that i have you here we should talk to you about the debate. did you watch it? [ laughter and applause ] >> bless me father, for i'm about to sin. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what did you -- what did you think? what did you think of the debate?
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>> well, actually -- [ laughter ] and i was watching by myself. and for a while, i thought, i've never quite seen anything like that. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: you haven't, right? you've never seen -- >> no, no, i haven't. and i've done, you know, i've done a couple debates. 71 people -- 71 million people watched me debate sarah palin, or sarah palin debate me. and then i had a second debate, but you know i -- >> jimmy: have you ever seen that many fact checking? it seemed like fact checking was a big thing. >> well, i can tell you what, i've never seen anybody who knew as few facts. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] ?? it's not a joke! it's like, whoa. >> jimmy: the whole night was a a joke. were you going, oh, that was good for hillary or that was bad or -- >> well you know what you tend to do is when you've had to do it yourself and you know every word you say is being
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>> jimmy: yeah. >> it's a lot harder than when you're sitting on your couch going, i would have said that. i would have done that. >> jimmy: yeah. >> you know? >> jimmy: it's like when you play "jeopardy" at home. >> that's right. >> jimmy: yeah, you go, oh come on. you don't know final jeopardy? >> well, i'll tell you, this is real jeopardy. [ laughter ] we are in real jeopardy. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. anything surprise you at all? >> well, you know what surprised me? and i'll be serious for just a a second here. maybe that's dangerous to do on this show. >> jimmy: no, please. have you seen my monologue? >> your monologues are >> jimmy: thank you. >> but, you know, what amazes me about donald trump, and it's not -- he's probably a decent guy. but it's his lack of sensibilities. i mean, the way he talks about, you know, well, you know, i was rooting for the housing market to fail because that's business. that's not business. that's callous. i mean, that's not business. or i paid no taxes and that makes me smart. what does it make, the rest us
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think about it. can you think of any president, any president you've studied, read about or knew who would say anything like that? name me one president who would do that. it angers me quite frankly. >> jimmy: i didn't know you could choose to not pay your taxes. [ laughter ] >> well, you know -- >> jimmy: 'cause i'm like, i've seen people like willie nelson and wesley snipes get busted and you go, why is it those guys? and this guy just doesn't have to do it? >> you know look -- >> jimmy: is it a loophole? >> it's one of the things the american people really resent. the american people don't like being played for suckers. and you know, you've got somebody working the assembly line making $51,000 and his wife making $50,000 working as, you know, in another factory. and they're paying 15% of their income, they're trying to raise two kids. i mean, i just don't -- i can't imagine why somebody would say that. like that makes me smart. you know, my dad had an
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joe, i pay too much in taxes. he said, look, it's a small price to pay to live in this country. i mean, just pay your fair share, for god's sake. >> jimmy: yeah. [ cheers and applause ] i do. >> i know you do. >> jimmy: and i live in new york. it's like wow! >> i know you live in new york and -- >> jimmy: wow, yeah, yeah, yeah. boy, oh, boy do i, yeah. are you -- are you -- are you shocked that the polls are this close or are they this close or they're just fake numbers? >> well, i don't know. i yield to the audience on this. but the truth of the matter is, every election, presidential election, the last four, people are taking longer and longer to make up their minds. and i think -- but it has surprised me, i must tell you, it has surprised me, that he did as well as he did in the republican primaries. and it surprised me that he's sort of still in the game. and again, i'm not talking about his character. i'm not attacking it. it just -- he just seems so -- i've never known of a candidate
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world as this man does. [ light laughter ] no, no, really. [ applause ] look, look. i was in australia with the prime minister. not had to, i went down there because he wanted to talk about china and southeast asia. and i got a call from the president of latvia. would i come and speak to the baltic state president. i flew all to assure them that we, that republicans and democrats, thought the commitment in nato was a sacred commitment. we would defend them. because trump is saying, i'm not sure, man. have you paid up your dues, man? i mean, this guy -- i don't even think he understands how much damage he does, by what he's already said. i mean, because europe, especially central and eastern europe is scared to death about what putin may or may not do. and this guy -- i mean, look,
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he found out crimea is part of ukraine. i mean, you know, maybe he'll -- [ laughter ] maybe he'll find out -- it' almost like the guy didn't really intend to do this. he thought that maybe this was a lark and it will go somewhere and my god, here we go, guys. >> jimmy: but have you seen gary johnson at all in any interview? he couldn't name a world leader yesterday. he couldn't name a world leader. not one. it was very interesting. >> he thought aleppo was a dog food or something. i don't know. >> jimmy: he did, yeah. he didn't know. yeah. >> now, look, it just is, you know, i've traveled over a a million, 100,000 miles as vice president, for the president. and a lot of the audience may have traveled to a lot of other countries. and the rest of the world's, like, going, what's going on? but, look. i just think hillary, you'd
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but hillary is one of the brightest people i've ever known. has an incredible amount of experience. and i feel -- and i think she's going to win and i think we'll be in good hands. look, nobody -- nobody's perfect. everybody, you know, wants the ideal candidate. by the way, i learned how to become the ideal candidate. announce you're not running for president. oh! oh! that's amazing! >> jimmy: that's what i'm saying! more with the vice president after the break. stick around. [ cheers and applause ] ?? e ] ?? mom, i have to tell you something. dad, one second i was driving and then the next...
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how tall are you? how do we measure greatness in america? it's measured by what we do for our children. it's why as president i'll invest in our schools. in college that leads to opportunities... not debt. and an economy where every young american can find a job that lets them start a family of their own. i've spent my life fighting for kids and families. i want our success to be measured by theirs.
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?? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. we're here with the vice president of the united states, joe biden, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] thank you again for being here. i want to show everybody this thing that kind of went around.
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your staff and it kind of made the rounds. i don't know how it got public. but it's unbelievable. it says, to my wonderful staff, i want to take a moment and make something clear to everyone. i don't expect nor do i want any of you to you miss or sacrifice important family obligations for work. family obligations include but are not limited to family birthdays, anniversaries, weddings, and religious ceremonies such as first communions, bar mitzvahs, graduations, times of needs such as illness or loss of a a family. this is very important to me. in fact, i would go so far to say if i find out that you are working with me while missing important family responsibilities, it will disappoint me greatly. this has been an unwritten rule since my days in the senate. thank you all for your hard work. sincerely, joe. [ cheers and applause ] best thing i have ever read. and i loved it. >> well, you know, when i first got to the senate, i got elected when i was 29. before i turned 30, or just after i turned 30, i was down hiring staff.
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accident. and my two boys were really badly injured. and i thought i was a decent father before then. but you realize that, you know, in my generation, it was about quality time instead of quantity time. there is no such thing as quality time. every important thing your child will say to you will be off script, as they say. will be at a time when you don't expect it. and kids can hold an idea for maybe 12, 14 hours. but after that, iton you lose it. and this idea of the way we all rationalize. you know? i had to take red eye to get home for a birthday. but you know, it really doesn't matter that much to my wife, her birthday. or if i just make this business trip, i'll miss his last football game but he'll understand. a bunch of malarkey. it's just not true. it's not true. and i don't want anybody in my staff feeling an obligation to do something for me when there is something that matters in
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and there is nothing noble about it. i do it. when i ran a second time, i was, i had missed 14% of the votes the first time. and i ran against a good guy. and he had a very effective ad. he said, would you hire someone who missed 14 days out of every hundred days? he won't work for you. and i never missed a vote, they were decisive procedural votes. i went on the air and i said, look, elect me again. and i have a choice between a a procedural vote or going on a a parent-teacher meeting, i'm going to the parent-teacher meeting. and if i can hold myself to that -- [ applause ] by the way, it is a lot easier for me because i have a million employers. no, i really mean it. it is harder when you have a a boss. so i felt, if could i do that, i should not hold my staff to any different standard. and by the way, i get more productivity out my staff than
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>> jimmy: i said to my staff, i love this idea if it doesn't interfere with work. [ laughter ] figure it out. we can talk. we can talk. don't even think about it. the cue card guys are already leaving. hey roman, nothing is happening this late at night. okay, no ballgames are on right now. >> anyway, >> jimmy: i want to tell you. i thought it was a great thing, a great message. i have 2 daughters and i think about it all the time. i go, i just wish -- >> hold them tight, man. it goes. it goes very quickly. >> jimmy: i want to talk about "it's on us" campaign. you have to be proud of this. >> well, i am. my dad, my dad was a graceful gentle man. he used to say that the greatest sin is the abuse of power, and the cardinal sin of all is for a man to raise his hand to a woman or a child. we can change the culture here. we can change the culture. and no means no. if a woman can't respond
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and i'm confident the vast majority -- you know, i had my staff, constantly survey when the effect has been, violent crime against women is down by over 60%. but one thing i found out. that women between the ages of 18 and 24, nothing had changed. they were being as brutalized as they were before. and that's when we started this notion of, we asked, we went on one of these town hall meetings with thousands of people in colleges. and we said what can we do? and they said get men involved get men involved in this process. any man who takes a drunk woman up the stairs in a fraternity house is a damn coward, man. there is nothing manly about this.
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and we have to change the way we think about this. and i'm convinced, i'm convinced the vast majority of men understand and it's about time we speak up and we intervene when we see it. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's just amazing. >> it's not amazing. i'm just too passionate about it. >> jimmy: i love all these things that you do and i want to get on a lighter note. another thing i enjoyed was this photo of you eating ice cream with sunglasses on. [ light laughter ] and it's just something, you're holding money. i don't know what's going on. [ light laughter ] i don't understand what this is about. but it really -- >> it was a payoff. >> jimmy: it made me laugh and i had to take this opportunity, since you're vice president of the united states and you only have a few more weeks left. i was wondering if you would like to share an ice cream
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this is the tonight dough ice cream. ben and jerry's. and all the proceeds to go serious fund, which is paul newman's hole in the wall. it is. good have you had it before? you're forgetting the best part. >> you know, for my whole career, i've been listed as the poorest man in the senate. [ light laughter ] i've been wearing these since i was 16. they're coming back. >> jimmy: they are coming back. [ cheers and a pleasure to meet you. thank you for being here, mr. vice president. we'll be right back with the performance of metallica, everybody. stick around. [ cheers and applause ] ?? ?? my goal was to finally get in shape. not to be focusing on my moderate to severe chronic plaque psoriasis.
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target and help block a specific source of inflammation that contributes to my symptoms. in clinical trials, most adults taking humira were clear or almost clear, and many saw 75% and even 90% clearance in just 4 months. humira can lower your ability to fight infections, including tuberculosis. serious, sometimes fatal infections and cancers, including lymphoma, have happened; as have blood, liver, and nervous system problems, serious allergic reactions, and new or worsening heart failure. ll your doctor if you've been to areas where certain fungal infections are common, and if you've had tb, hepatitis b, are prone to infections, or have flu-like symptoms or sores. don't start humira if you have an infection. ask about humira, the #1 prescribed biologic by dermatologists.
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you love all-day breakfast. but you don't love that you can't get all your favorites. but now you can get more of what you love. so you can find something else to not love. like hearing the sound of your own voice. (softly) like hearing the sound of your own voice. when you ache and haven't slept... you're not you. tylenol? pm relieves pain and helps you fall fast asleep and stay asleep. we give you a better night. you're a better you all day. tylenol?. how do they make starburst taste so juicy? they use wicked small fighter jets to shoot the juiciness into every starburst. [ pilot ] it's about to get juicy.
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nnouncer ] starburst. unexplainably juicy. campbell's one dish recipes. one pan, less than 30 minutes. because if they aren't going to eat it, at least you didn't spend too much time making it. campbell's one dish recipes. made for real, real life. ?? ?? ?? ?? red 97! set! red 97! did you say 97? yes. you know, that reminds me of geico's 97% customer satisfaction rating. 97%? helped by geico's fast and friendly claims service. huh... oh yeah, baby.
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tv-commercial
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?? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: tonight's musical guest is one of the most influential rock bands in music history. [ cheers and applause ] and has sold 120 million albums worldwide! [ cheers and applause ] performing "moth into flame" off their upcoming album "hard wired to self-destruct," give
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[ cheers and applause ] ?? ?? ? blacked out pop queen amphetamine the screams crashed into silence tapped out ? ? doused in the gasoline the high times going timeless decadence
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spiral infamy all for publicity destruction going viral ? ? light it up ah light it up another hit erases all the pain bulletproof ? ? ah kill the truth you're falling but you think you're flying high high again ? ?? ? sold your soul built a higher wall yesterday now you're thrown away ? ? same rise and fall who cares at all seduced by fame a moth into the flame ? ?? ? twisted
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perjurer ? ? fame is the murderer seduce you into ruin light it up ah light it up ? ? another hit erases all the pain bulletproof ah tell the truth ? ? you're falling but you think you're flying high high again ? ?? built a higher wall yesterday now you're thrown away ? ? same rise and fall who cares at all seduced by fame a moth into the flame ? ? burn ?
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?? ? guarantee your name you go and kill yourself the vultures feast around you still ? ? overdose on shame and insecurity if one won't do that fistful will ? ?? ?? ?? ?? ??
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? death scene black hearse the limousine a grave filled with seduction vaccine ? she builds up for destruction so light it up ah light it up ? ? another hit erases all the pain bulletproof ah no excuse ? ? you're falling but you think you're flying high high again ? ?? ?? ? sold your soul
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yesterday now you're thrown away ? ? same rise and fall who cares at all seduced by fame a moth into the flame ? ?? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's how you do it. that's it right there. metallica! there you go! hard wired! "hard wired to self-destruct" is out november 18th. we'll be right back, ladies and gentlemen! oh, my goodness!
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lunch, that's the fifth time this week! freaky fast. bam. i forgot my lunch again. jimmy john's from now until the end of the year, shopping at small businesses could be even more rewarding. because, when you shop small with your eligible american express card, you could get two times the rewards. so support the businesses that make your town a community.
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those friends with a welcome smile. and you could get twice the rewards. learn more and enroll online today at americanexpress.com get out...
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?? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my thanks to margot robbie, vice president joe biden, metallica, once again! [ cheers and applause ] and the roots rit philadelphia, pennsylvania. [ cheers and applause ] stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching. have a great night. i hope to see you tomorrow. bye-bye, everybody! [ cheers and applause ]
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[ cheers and applause ] ?? >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- ashton kutcher, mlb network analysts kevin millar and sean casey, cartoonist chris eliopoulios, featuring the 8g band with stanton moore. ?? [ cheers and applae ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening, everybody. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] that is wonderful to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. the second presidential debate will take place this weekend, and not as hillary requested, "now. now! let's do it right now!" [ laughter ]

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