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tv   The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon  NBC  December 13, 2016 10:34pm-11:36pm CST

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[ darien ] switch and get half off any smartphone. plus up to $650 back. (beep, camera shutter click) did you just see that? that was awesome. we have to try it. okay. okay, mine's not working. maybe you have to bump it. oh, yeah. do the bump it thing. right. okay, yeah. (muffled) you can take money out using the bmo harris app! you want to buy a hairless cat? there's a pet store down the street. cool... i think she said "bmo harris app". yeah, that makes more sense. when your phone is your debit ca that's the bmo effect. [ cheers and applause ] ?? >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center in the heart of new york city, it's "the tonight show starring jimmy fallon." tonight, join jimmy and his guests -- michael fassbender.
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musical guest niall horan. and featuring the legendary roots crew. >> questlove: 590! >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! ?? ?? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, that's what i'm talking about, hey ladies and gentlemen. welcome to the show. welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome everybody. welcome to "the tonight show." this is it. [ cheers and applause ] this is the show to be at. we got a big show tonight. but first, here's what people
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this is -- this is pretty big. this morning, kanye west actually showed up to meet with donald trump at trump tower. [ laughter ] people were shocked. they didn't expect these two to meet until the first presidential debate in 2020. [ laughter and applause ] so there you go, this is -- i didn't -- [ applause ] >> steve: weren't ready. >> jimmy: no. it's all right. trump met with kanye west at trump tower and even posed for photos in the lobby. that's a photo, yeah. [ laughter ] can we see that again? [ laughter and applae they're calling it, "when cheesy met yeezy." [ laughter and applause ] and they go, well that's not -- why would they -- why would -- they're calling it that. guys, this morning, trump announced that he's nominating exxon mobile ceo, rex tillerson, to be his secretary of state, even though rex supposedly, has a friendly relationship with vladimir putin. [ audience oohs ] today, rex said, "putin and i aren't friends", while putin said, "that is so something rex would say."
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"classic rex." [ applause ] but trump adviser, kellyanne conway, is defending rex tillerson saying, quote, "it's not like vladimir putin and rex tillerson are pounding down vodka at the local bar. [ light laughter ] maybe not. but they still seem pretty close. i mean, did you see the christmas card they just sent out? here comes sandy -- here comes sandy claus. >> steve: wow. >> jimmy: like a beach holiday card. >> steve: together, they sent it out together. >> is less than two weeks away. [ cheers and applause ] i love it. and get this. the weather channel is already predicting which cities may have a white christmas. yep, they say it's never too early to get it totally wrong. [ laughter ] actually, i read that global warming is leading to a higher rate of reindeer reproduction. [ laughter ] you can tell there's a lot of reindeer, because take a look at this footage. >> now dasher, now dancer, now
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hey larry, hey barry, hey marvin and justin, go -- go casey -- [ talking over each other ] >> jimmy: we got it. we get it. i think that's enough. >> steve: lot of reindeer. >> jimmy: that's a lot of reindeer. you get it? >> steve: yeah. copious amounts. >> jimmy: check this out. cause apple just said that it's new air pod wireless ear buds, would be available, after reports that they wouldn't be ready for the holidays. when asked what happened, apple said, "we finally found them behind the couch cushions." [ laughter and applause ] i didn't know where they went. i had one of them. i had one of them. [ let's check in on santa and his reindeer. they still -- >> yay brian, yay ryan -- [ talking over each other ] >> jimmy: we get it, we get it. there's too many reindeer. [ light laughter ] guys, with christmas less than two weeks away, plenty of americans still haven't finished buying presents, mostly because of those hard to shop for family members. well, here to help us is one of our writers, arthur, who was out looking at some really great gift ideas. arthur? >> hi, jimmy. [ cheers and applause ]
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what are -- what are some of the coolest gifts you're finding out there? >> well, to start off, we have the "brew tap deluxe." this beautiful all-in-one brewing system, sports a a stainless steel body, a a magnetic drive pump, and a a 20 pound drain basket. perfect for the home brew lover in your life. >> jimmy: huh, that's pretty cool. okay. so, for those of us who don't have a home brew lover, in our lives, what else -- what else do you have? >> i think you -- i think you do have a home brew lover in your life, jimmy. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no one's coming to mind, so i -- arthur? [ laughter ] what are -- what are you doing? what are you doing, buddy? >> hey. [ applause ] >> jimmy: what are you doing, man? [ applause ] >> you know, i'm just -- just trying to cool off a little bit. >> jimmy: yeah. >> i guess i could also cool down, with a delicious home brew of my own design. oh, wait, no, i don't have a a "brew tap deluxe." yet. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: are you asking me to buy you that thing for christmas? >> what are you talking about? [ light laughter ] i'm perfectly capable of buying the "brew tap deluxe" for
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or at least i would be, if i hadn't made a couple of very poor financial choices recently. i'm a -- kind of in a situation right now. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: hmm. well, maybe you should hold off on making your own beer, then. >> you're probably right. i could always crack open a a store bought beer at your placon christmas eve. [ light laughter ] maybe even stay a couple weeks until i get things straightened out. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: wait, what? >> no, yeah. no, yeah. no, yeah. [ laughter ] no, yeah. yeah. just a couple buds using a a "brew tap deluxe" while you let me sleep over at your place for three to six months. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what -- what are you talking about? >> no, no, nothing, no. it's all good. no, yeah. nah. no worries. it's -- it's cool. [ laughter ]
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[ talking over each other ] >> jimmy: stop, stop, please, please don't break in the song. arthur, is the only gift that you have for us today is the "brew tap deluxe?" >> no, jimmy, i brought another gift, but you can't buy it at this shopping mall here. it's the gift of love. [ audience aws ] >> jimmy: thank you, arthur. you know what? i am going to buy you that "brew tap deluxe." >> really? >> jimmy: no. arthur meyer, everybody. thank you, arthur. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, guys, some tv news. after two seasons, netflix has canceled its series, "marco polo." [ audience ohs ] yep, they ended "marco polo" the way everyone does, by getting out of the pool and not telling the other person. [ laughter and applause ] >> marco! >> jimmy: polo! get this. new research suggests that marijuana may work as a a aphrodisiac. [ audience ohs ] i guess you'll know a stoner's hitting on you when he sees you at a bar and says, "hey there, do i come here often?"
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guys, finally -- researchers at cornell university have invented a soft robot hand that can touch fragile items and even sense their shape and texture. [ light laughter ] when asked what they've used the hand for, researchers said, "that's not important! don't come in here! mom!" [ laughter and applause ] we have a great show tonight. give it up for the roots everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ?? ?? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, wow, wow, wow. hey, welcome everybody. we have a big week of shows aheadtomorrow night. arnold schwarzenegger will be here. [ cheers and applause ] be sure to tune in for that one. plus elle fanning and music from childish gambino! that's tomorrow. [ cheers and applause ] then later this week, casey affleck, we have.
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sienna miller and reese witherspoon will all be joining us. but first, we have a great show tonight. from the highly anticipated new movie, "assassin's creed," my man, michael fassbender is here. [ cheers and applause ] plus he's one of the funniest dudes i think i've ever met. i just -- the guy's just got -- he's just the funniest dude i ever met. jon glaser. uh, he has a -- [ cheers and applause ] "jon glaser loves gear." it's on trutv. it's hilarious. jon -- "jon glaser loves gear." and then tonight, we got some good music. you guys like good music? [ cheers and applause ] my man niall horan is here. [ cheers and applause ] he's a good man. "this town", "this town" is the name of the jam. want to hear a little bit? yeah, here it is. here's the jam. ?? ? as if the whole world was watching i'd still dance with you >> jimmy: drive highways and byways ? ?? highways and byways.
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>> steve: both. >> jimmy: drive highways and byways, man. [ light laug ] guys, we have -- can we just check in on santa's reindeer? to see how many -- >> yay aiden and caden. whoo! now the girls. on joey, on chloe, on -- >> jimmy: guys, we have exactly nine shows -- we have nine shows left, before we go on christmas break. >> steve: nine? >> jimmy: only nine. which means that it's time for that beloved "tonight show" tradition. it's time for "12 days of christmas sweaters." [ cheers and applaus nine days left ? >> jimmy: that's right! every ow ben n a christmas, we are giving one lucky audience member a a spectacular christmas sweater from the countdown to christmas cabinet. now, since there are nine shows left, let's open door number nine. [ cheers and applause ]
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>> it's a -- it's where i keep important things. >> jimmy: what do you have -- what's in there that's important? [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> it -- it's so i remember what to say, when i fall in a a big hole. >> jimmy: let's open -- [ cheers and applause ] door number nine! oh! ?? [ cheers and applause ] not bad. not bad. pretty nice. now, let's see who is going home with tonight's sweater. everyone, look at your seat number. [ cheers and applause ] look at your seat number. now, if i call your number, i
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quest, can i please get a drum roll. all right. [ drum roll ] who wants me to pick their number? anybody? come on. let's do it. [ cheers and applause ] there you go -- 136! ?? [ cheers and applause ] hey, come over here buddy. how are you, man? good to see you. let's see -- what is your name? >> brooks. >> jimmy: brooks. where you from, brooks? >> alabama. >> jimmy: hey, brooks from alabama. [ cheers ] thank you so much for being here. i appreciate this. thanks for coming to the show tonight. do you have any sort of -- like this at all? do you -- >> i love it. i'm 'bout to put it on. >> jimmy: you do. would you try it on? >> yeah. >> jimmy: you would? >> yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. thanks brooks. you rock. that's a nice, fleece jam you got there.
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no, no, no. it fits perfect. fits perfect. oh, look at that. [ cheers and applause ] that's good yeah. brooks, everybody, right there. thanks again. look at how good he looks. [ cheers and applause ] stick around. we'll be right back with more of "the tonight show," everybody.
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?? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: big show tonight. michael fassbender, jon glaser, niall horan is here tonight. there's going to be a big show. [ cheers and applause ] you want to hear a little bit more niall, right there? here's a little bit more. ?? ? over and over the only truth everything comes back to you ? ?? that's even how i walk too. i just walk like that. >> steve: that's how you walk normally. >> jimmy: he's just a good dude, man. talented guy. "this town" is the name of the jam. highways and byways. [ light laughter ] guys, welcome back. we are in week 15 of the nfl season, and the big thursday night football match-up is between the l.a. rams and the seattle seahawks, right here on
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now as you know, at the end of every season, they give out awards, like most valuable player. but they also give out awards during the season, sort of like the ones in high school yearbooks. like most likely to succeed, class clown, stuff like that. so with that in mind, it's time for "tonight show" superlatives. here we go. [ cheers and applause ] ?? ? tonight show superlatives ? ?? >> jimmy: our first player is garry gilliam, he's an offensive tackle for the seattle seahawks. he was voted "most likely to ask his barber for the fireworks grand finale." [ applause ] >> steve: wow. >> jimmy: it looks good on him. our next player is tyler higbee. he was voted "most likely to be watching his friend get grounded." [ applause ] >> steve: he didn't mean to do it. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: next up from the rams is cody wickmann.
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he was voted "most likely to be a tater tot that came to life." there you go, that's -- >> steve: through the magic of christmas. >> jimmy: what? >> steve: through the magic of christmas. [ applause ] the tater to the that came to life. >> jimmy: he's cute. i like it. >> steve: i want to be a real boy. >> jimmy: he is cute, he's cute. [ laughter ] here's seahawks quarterback, my man, russell wilson. [ cheers ] he was voted "most likely to call you a betch." >> steve: wow. >> jimmy: next up is joey hunt. he was voted "most likely to end every play, by taking off his helmet and waving his hair around in slow motion." >> steve: wow. [ applause ] oh, having the time of -- >> jimmy: here's seahawks punter, jon ryan. he was voted "most likely to come back as a ghost and somehow be tanner." >> steve: wow. [ applause ] that is a very specific award. >> jimmy: jon ryan, he actually
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we like that guy, yeah. next up is rams long snapper jake mcquaide. he was voted "most likely to form a band called zz top of the morning." >> steve: wow. >> jimmy: there you go, that's -- [ laughter and applause ] [ talking over each other ] >> steve: a west irish town. >> jimmy: here's ahtyba rubin. he was voted "most likely to be the black version of bill from "guess who." can we see that? oh, yeah. i know that dude. >> steve: yeah, i know that dude well. that's bill from "guess who." >> jimmy: this is a fun game. >> steve: fun game, so fun. >> jimmy: finally, from the rams, we have tim barnes. he was voted "most likely to be the love child of santa claus and yukon cornelius." there you go. those are your nfl superlatives. we'll be right back with michael fassbender! [ cheers and applause ]
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these as well. luke!? amy. it's been years! oh, you smell the same. meet my wife and my kids. oh you guys are so good-looking... and impeccably dressed. thanks. it's all old navy. you sending off some last minute gifts? i miss us. you know? you should go to old navy. the entire store is up to 60% off right now. that's an amazing idea. okay, i think i'll go there. get out of here. i don't know what that is.
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?? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our first guest tonight is an academy award-nominated actor who stars in the highly anticipated new movie, "assassin's creed." i can't wait for this. it opens in theaters worldwide december 21st. ladies and gentlemen, please welcome michael fassbender! ?? ?? [ cheers and applause ] ?? >> jimmy: always looking sharp. always looking like a stud. thank you, buddy. >> likewise. >> jimmy: for coming back to the show. i apprec it. "assassin's creed," i think this thing's going to be giant.
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i played the video game, probably -- i played, like, seven of them. anyway, i played all of them. [ light laughter ] and so i think it's great that you're playing -- you're playing this character. can you describe the movie for people that haven't played the video game? >> yeah, it's basically about genetic time travel, if you imagine, like, the animus, which is kind of like a genetic delorean, it allows us to access our ancestors' dna and memories. and there's a war going on between templars, who believe in world order, and assassins, who are anarchists, and they're fighting for the future of humanity. >> jimmy: fantastic. now, what really is the movie about? [ laughter ] >> it all starts in the garden of eden. >> jimmy: i played it. i had to go kind of lived in a a kind of a virtual reality world where the character doesn't exist really, yet, so you're dealing with the future and also going back in history. >> we're actually dealing in
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>> jimmy: yeah, but right now, we're dealing with present. >> right now, we're dealing with present. right here? you and i? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: but what if someone's watching this clip in the future? >> or in a parallel universe, in fact. >> jimmy: oh wow, interesting. >> so, everything is exactly the same except that curtain is orange. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: the color is the only thing that changes? >> yeah. >> jimmy: that's so interesting. so you have orange eyes. >> kind of. >> jimmy: because you have blue eyes. [ laughter ] >> i guess. >> jimmy: you filmed in a a unique location in spain. >> almeria. >> jimmy: almeria. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and this is where they shot a lot of "spaghetti western?" >> that's right, yeah. a lot of the clint eastwood westerns were shot there so it was a real treat. >> jimmy: how awesome was that? >> i know, it was amazing. >> jimmy: was it like, were they like ghost towns? >> they still have one of the towns, which is a sort of tourist attraction. they do tours around there. so everyone -- >> jimmy: "westworld?" >> "westworld." kind of like "westworld." [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. >> yeah, yeah, yeah. so there, i thought, you know, everyone was working really hard. stunt team was amazing and i
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book the town and have a a paintball shootout in the town. [ light laughter ] which was brilliant and we used the saloon -- the saloon as hq. >> jimmy: was it an old timey saloon? >> yeah, they have real alcohol in there, as opposed to fake alcohol. [ light laughter ] and yeah. >> jimmy: so paintballing and -- >> booze and paintballing, probably not a good idea. >> jimmy: no, yeah. it's almost a guarantee that's not a good -- >> people forgetting to wear their eye masks. >> jimmy: oh, it's also -- yeah. i only did it once, but it hurts. >> it hurts, yeah. i got shot, actually range by a personalized -- people bring their own weapons to these things now. >> jimmy: that's why you don't mess with those dudes. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: you use the rental equipment or we don't play. >> that's right. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: like a dude brings his own basketball to the thing. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: no, no, we're using this now. so i'll just come over here. >> but it's like one of those paintballers that go -- so it's like. >> jimmy: it's a machine. it's cheating. >> yeah. >> jimmy: because you, by the time you say i'm hit, you're hit 30 more times. i'm hit! oh my god! [ laughter ] >> that's right. exactly.
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whatever, in the heat of the moment, battle is battle. [ light laughter ] anyway, the rental that i had, it got jammed, so it's like turning -- so i tried to push -- >> jimmy: the pump? >> and i got just it loaded up and fixed and i sort of raised my hand up and the guy came around the corner and he went -- and it went right up my face. it was like -- >> jimmy: did it welt? >> yeah, i had, like, hickeys all the way. [ laughter ] up my neck and i was bleeding from the forehead. it was literally like -- [ talking over each other ] >> i just saw white. [ whistling ] it was the sound in my ears. >> jimmy: what a nightmare. >> yeah, yeah. i was looking for cologne. i was so confused. i was like, where is my aftershave? [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: you were out of your mind. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i played once where a a guy said, all right, let's play and they were about to sound like an air horn or whatever. [ imitating air horn ] yeah. and he goes -- yeah. and then he goes, i just want you to know, one, because there's a cartridge of like 30 paintballs. he goes, one of these paintballs is frozen. [ laughter ] i just hid.
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[ laughter ] it's probably defrosted by now. at this point, it might have been defrosted. i'm not afraid of him now. yeah. frozen paintball, what's wrong with you? >> that actually isn't a bad technique, to just sort of hide and wait. >> jimmy: that's what i -- yeah. >> do the sniper thing. >> jimmy: as long as there is booze there. [ talking over each other ] >> bring a bottle with you. >> jimmy: no one's bothering me. yeah. >> a straw. >> jimmy: i want to -- i want to show everyone a clip from "assassin's creed." this is michael fassbender. take a look. ?? ?? [ indistinct yelling ] ??
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's a big movie, man. >> i know. >> jimmy: oh, i can't wait to see it. last time you were on the show, we talked about it. you said that you wanted to be in a metal band, a heavy metal band or was in one. >> you keep reminding me. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: i know, i know. because i wanted, i really want to know about it because what was your name? what was the name of your band? >> well, we never came up with a name but i remember looking through the atlas, sort of trying to figure out where the [ bleep ] if i could find a a cool name, you know, mesopotamia or something. [ light laughter ] and i came up with -- >> jimmy: that's a good metal name. >> but sargasso sea. >> jimmy: oh yeah, that's not a a great metal, yeah. yeah, sargasso sea! [ laughter ] know your coordinates perfectly! >> yeah, it's pretty bad. >> jimmy: did you guys ever play live gigs? >> we just played the one gig and it was just -- it was more out of, it was a mercy gig more
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in a town called killorglin, which is pretty close to where i grew up, and it was raining, which is unusual in ireland. [ light laughter ] and we had all this electric equipment, sort of busking. it didn't even make sense. >> jimmy: you were getting electrocuted, just playing. >> where were we going to plug in the amp to begin with on the street? >> jimmy: soaking wet, yes. >> so anyways, we managed to convince this pub to let us in there in the afternoon and play heavy metal to, you know, a a middle aged crowd at 1:00 in the afternoon while they ate steak and guinness pie. [ light laughter ] >> so they kept telling us to turn it down. they were very polite. [ light laughter ] we were playing "ride the lightning," you know? >> jimmy: you played quiet heavy metal music? that could be an album. i would buy that. [ light laughter ] >> unplugged heavy metal. >> jimmy: so do you play guitar anymore? >> pretty badly. but you know, i do, you know, sort of -- i play a little air guitar when the mood is right. >> jimmy: well, that's interesting. [ light laughter ] because i play a little air guitar as well. >> really?
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>> jimmy: i challenge you to an air guitar battle! >> i accept the challenge. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: michael and i are facing in an air guitar battle after the break. stick around, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ?? ? i got it, dad. ow! we love to keep them safe. so we made the nest protect smoke and carbon monoxide alarm. it speaks up and can alert your phone if there's a problem. or let you know if everything is just fine. because, ya know, we worry. ? what would you give someone who convinced you to follow your dreams with one cross country road trip? the greatest gift for someone who gave you these moments is to give those moments back.
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?? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody! michael fassbender! [ cheers and applause ] oh, who doesn't love michael fassbender? his new movie, "assassin's creed," comes out december 21st. now,we how you used to perform in a a quiet heavy metal band. now, right now, i thought we could try something fun with music. it's time for "tonight show air guitar battle." [ cheers and applause ] ? air guitar battle ? >> jimmy: now here's how this will work. michael and i will take turns playing air guitar to sections of well-known songs, but we don't know which songs the other person picked. >> hmm. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: if you don't mind, i will -- i will start us off. you can stand over by questlove.
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>> jimmy: yeah. whew. i'm going to do the thin lizzy classic, "the boys are back in town." >> oh. [ cheers and applause ] ?? ?? ?? [ cheers and applause ] ?? ?? ?? [ cheers and applause ] ?? >> jimmy: tough. that's was tough. >> that's a tough one. >> jimmy: that's tough. because the volume seemed a a little late, so i think i'll give you a couple points. >> okay. >> jimmy: you're next, buddy. >> okay. >> jimmy: what do you have? >> let's just put this thing
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i forgot that. >> you totally forgot that. >> jimmy: i forgot that. i forgot that. ha, ha, ha! i forgot that. [ laughter ] i'm so mad. that's great. what are you going to do for us tonight? >> oh, well, i am going to do a a classic. it's "crazy train," ozzy osbourne. [ cheers and applause ] ? all aboard ha ha ha ha ha ? ?? ?? ? aye aye aye ? [ cheers and applause ] ?? >> jimmy: there's bass in it. it's the bass. oh, no! he's switching guitars. ?? [ cheers and applause ] ?? ?? ?? [ cheers ] ?? ?? ??
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?? >> jimmy: what? dude, you put the guitar on. you changed from bass to regular. i'm so mad. [ laughter ] gosh! oh, gosh! i should have done more. i should have done more bits. [ light laughter ] well, you beat me, clearly. but for this last round, we're going to switch it up a little bit. how about an air guitar duet? >> sounds good. >> jimmy: yeah, okay, good. [ cheers and applause ] [ light laughter ] i go you're going to need to get your air banjo. >> oh, right. i left it over here, i think. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: give me a second. i just got to tune my guitar for a second. ?? ? every boy loves every good boy loves ? okay, good. [ laughter ] put it back out. [ laughter ] it's a beautiful banjo. >> thank you. >> jimmy: any story behind it? >> it's been in the family for generations. [ laughter ] i learnt how to play in the
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>> jimmy: so, i'm going to -- i'm going to start us off. >> okay. ?? [ cheers and applause ] ?? ?? [ laughter ] ?? ?? ?? ?? [ cheers and applause ] ?? ?? ?? [ cheers ] ?? ?? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: michael fassbender, everybody!
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there's more "tonight show" after the break. stick around, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ?? ? think of your fellow man. ? ? lend him a helping hand. ? ? put a little love in your heart. ? ? take a good look around... ? ? ...and if you're lookin' down, ? ? put a little love in your heart. ? ? in your heart. ? (avo) the subaru share the love event is happening now and will have given ninety million dollars
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hi, weth (laughter) we're in 8th grade. technology is the only thing that really entertains us. i'm gonna use this picture on sketchbook, and i'm going to draw mustaches on you all. using the pen instead of fingers, it just feels more comfortable for me. be like, boop! it's gone. i like that only i can get into it and that it recognizes my fingerprint. our old tablet couldn't do that. it kind of makes you feel like you're your own person, which is a rare opportunity in my family.
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nto grapes. wow, what an exhausting journey. that's a good wedding present. good call. with the blue cash everyday card you get cash back on purchases with no annual fee. backed by the service and security of american express. i noticed it as soon as we moved into the new house. ?? a lot of people have vertical blinds. well, if a lot of people jumped off a bridge, would you? you hungry? i'm okay right -- i'm... i'm becoming my, uh, mother.
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uff he says is actually pretty helpful. pumpkin, bundling our home and auto insurance is a good deal! like buying in bulk! that's fun, right? progressive can't protect you from becoming your parents, but we can protect your home and auto. progressive can't protect you from becoming your parents, why doesn't verizon offer unlimited data like t-mobile? is it because their lte network was built six years ago? six years ago? that's like a hundred... in phone years! their lte network is older, slower and they limit you. switch to t-mobile, the newer, faster and unlimited network. we cover 99% of the americans verizon covers. switch your family of four to t-mobile and we'll give you $800 to spend anywhere you want.
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? i said i really can't stay ? ? baby it's cold outside ? ? i have to go away ? ? baby it's cold outside ? ? i really can't stay ? ? baby it's cold outside! ?
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?? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest is a a very funny comedian and actor who you know from such hit shows as "parks and recreation" and "girls." [ cheers ] he's currently starring in a a new show called "jon glaser loves gear," which airs wednesday nights at 10:00 p.m. on trutv. ladies and gentlemen, give it up for jon glaser! ?? [ cheend ?? >> jimmy: oh, man. always good to see you, man. >> you too. >> jimmy: wow, you look great. >> thank you. >> jimmy: congrats on the show. [ cheers and applause ] >> thanks. >> jimmy: "jon glaser loves gear." here you are on the back of
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that's kind of fun. >> that was so weird. that was a hundred percent unexpected. somebody just texted me and said, "hey, you're on the back of 'mad' magazine.'" i was likewow, that's bizarro. >> jimmy: that's t best. >> it wavery cool, and now just keep making a terrible joke going, "what, m?e gear?" >> jimmy: yeah. [ light laughter ] >> my take on, what, me worry? >> jimmy: can i ask? >> it's pretty funny. sorry you don't get it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: hey, whoa, whoa. don't get hostile. [ laughter ] maybe it's -- maybe you're zipped up. >> turn my back to this audience. >>: , on't durtj your bac do you mind me asking, what is this? that's a new -- >> this is, it's a relaxatn hoodie. [ light laughter ] and it is specifically designed for relaxing, down to the fabric, the actual design, the aesthetics, the color. you can put a music player inside. and it zips all the way over your face, and you put these and hands in the pockets and you just give yourself a hug and you relax. [ laughter ] and it's just super cool. and it's one of my favorite pieces of gear. i wear it in the season finale,
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>>: it's super cool, yeah, yeah. >> it's super cool looking and it really is beautifully designed and really well made. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and i thought it would be nice to wear it today, and i actually got one for you. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey. >> yeah. >> jimmy: thank you, buddy. >> and i thought it would be pretty fun to just -- you put it on and we just do a very super relaxed interview. [ cheers ] >> jimmy: i like that. let's do it. i think it's cool. sounds fun. [ cheers and applause ] >> yeah, put it on. now, don't forget the thumb holes. [ light laughter ] put the thumbs in the thumb holes. >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. this alr doesn't feel relaxing to me. okay, yeah. thumb holes. >> now come around, i want you to come sit next to me on the couch. [ laughter ] pull the hood up, but don't zip it up yet. because we're going to -- in a a moment, we're going to dim the lights. we got some very specific relaxing music.
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[ laughter ] now, on the count of three, we are going to zip these all the way up and put our hands in the pockets. [ laughter ] and we'll just do this. >> jimmy: all right, man. >> three, two, one, zip. be very careful. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: i can't find the -- >> cross, cross. give yourself a hug. >> jimmy: okay. >> give yourself a hug. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: wow. oh, man. this is -- [ laughter ] oh my god. >> jimmy, stop laughing and relax, please. [ light laughter ] i want you to start to really ju ze out. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: okay. >> slow down your voice. >> jimmy: there you go. >> and we're just going to let these things do the work. [ laughter ]
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>> jimmy: feels pretty good. [ light laughter ] shows pretty -- do you want to tell me about your show a little bit. [ laughter ] >> yeah, i'd love to, jimmy. thank you. you know, it's a reality show about how much i love gear. it's scripted, but there's reality moments and we just have a lot of fun with it, you know? and we do a wide range of topics. there was a camping episode. [ light laughter ] a cycling episode. we did an episode about dog gear. >> jimmy: it's on trutv. 10:00 p.m. wednesdays. >> jimmy: how many episodes are left? >> there's two left. we have an episode tomorrow night called leisure, and i got to tell you jimmy, i am so relaxed right now. [ light laughter ] and one thing i love to do when i relax is sing opera, and if you don't mind, i would just love to just sing a little bit of opera if that's okay. >> jimmy: very good. go right ahead.
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>> oh, that felt so good. thank you so much. [ laughter and applause ] for letting me do that. >> jimmy: you have an amazing voice. oh, thank you very much. >> jimmy: i never heard you sing opera before. >> i don't do it in public a a lot. i'm still getting my training down. [ light laughter ] this feels so good. >> jimmy: so good. would you like to show a clip from your show? >> yeah, we brought a clip from tomorrow night's episode. [ light laughter ] it's the leisure episode, and this clip, my family's gone away for the weekend and i've turned my living room into a a man cave let's check out that clip. >> of course you got to have your snack zone, right. >> snack zone! >> got a lot of good stuff right here, got just a ton of za, pretzels over here, tortilla chips and of course, party wouldn't be complete without the guac. guac! now, check this thing out. "jon glaser loves gear" ice luge. >> fire up the luge. >> showdown. >> all right, here we go.
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yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> so, yeah, that's the show. the show is just a lot of screaming and yelling. >> jimmy: jon, i'm so glad you could make it tonight. >> thank you, jimmy, for having me. >> jimmy: ladies and gentlemen, jon glaser. >> thanks. >> jimmy: give it up. [ cheers and applause ] we'll be right back with more of "the tonight show," everybody. [ cheers and applause ]
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marv, go make us a plate. 30. 1. we'll literally die of hunge b freaky fast 1
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?? >> jimmy: our next performer's debut solo single hit number one in 60 countries within 24 hours of release. [ cheers ] he knows how to do it! performing "this town," please welcome niall horan! [ cheers and applause ] ?? ? waking up to kiss you
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still stuck in the air ? ? it's hard yesterday i thought i saw your shadow running around ? ? it's funny how things never change in this old town so far from the stars ? ? and i want to tell you everything the first time around ? ? and i remember everything from when we were the children playing in this fairground ? ? wish i was there with you now ? ? cause if the whole world was watching i'd still dance with you ? ? drive highways and byways to bthere with you ? ? over and over
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everything comes back to you mm ? ? i saw that you moved on with seone new inhe pub tt we met he's got his arms around you ? ? it's so hard so hard ?? tell you everything the words i never got toay the first time around ? ? and i remember everything from when we were the children playing in this fairground ? ? wish i was there with you now ? ? cause if the whole world was watching i'd still dance with you ? ? drive highways and byways to be there with you ?
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everything comes back to you ? ? you still make me nervous when you walk in the room them butterflies they come alive when i'm next to you ? ? over and over the only truth everything comes back to you ? ? mm ? ?? ? and i know that it's wrong that i can't move on but there's something about you ? ? cause if the whole world was watchi i'd still dance with you ? ? drive highways and byways to be there with you ? ? over and over the only truth everything comes
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? you still make me nervous when you walk in the room them butterflies they come alive when i'm next to you ? ? over and over the only truth everything comes back to you ? ? mmm ? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you so much. niall horan! now, "this town" is out now! my thanks to michael fassbender, jon glaser, niall horan -- [ cheers and applause ] once again! and the roots right there from philadelphia, pennsylvania, ladies and gentlemen! [ cheers and applause ] stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching. have a great night. i hope to see you tomorrow. bye-bye, everybody. [ cheers and applause ]
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?? >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- senator bernie sanders, from "why him?", actress zoey deutch, comedian dan levy, dave lombardo. ?? [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] wonderful. just wonderful to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. well, it's official, kanye west doesn't like black people. [ laughter ] that's right.


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