tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC January 13, 2016 11:35pm-12:37am EST
>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight, chloe grace moretz. from colony, josh holloway. and music from dj khaled featuring future. with cleto and the cletones. and now, moving forward, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thanks to all of you for coming. i stand before you tonight to declare that the state of this program is strong. you didn't watch the state of
well, president obama gave his final state of the union address last night. it was the president's shortest state of the union address, clocking in at 58: 49. which happens to be -- my last one would have been much shorter than that. mine would have been however long it takes to say "you're on your own, suckers" and that would be it. festivities started before the speech. the rapper wali who happens to be from washington, d.c. performed at the white house in what was billed as the first-ever state of the union preshow. shout-out lady gaga she couldn't be here hey >> then he fired his manager. i don't know, it was like somebody's living room. most all the big names in
union becomes more like a televised awards show. they had a red carpet of sorts. >> secretary, who are you wearing? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you know, these speeches aren't easy to make for a president. half the audience is against you. the democrats clap and the republicans don't. over and over again. if you're a republican you don't want to get caught agreeing with anything obama says because it could ruin your political career. so you have to sit there and make a face like you're witnessing your family getting eaten by coyotes through the whole thing. one face that got a lot of attention was that of south carolina governor nikki haley. she gave the rebuttal speech, the speech after obama's speech. as you can see, she did it without ever opening her mouth all the way. it was all gritted teeth. nice teeth though. her teeth are so white they're now running second to donald trump among the republicans.
[ cheers and applause ] >> the you know who else was there, kim davis was there. remember her? the county clerk who refused the same-sex marriage licenses? you see she was sporting her meanest scowl and her fullest mullet for the event. she said she was there to encourage all christians -- she even wore joseph's amazing technicolor dreamcoat. [ laughter ] but the star was president obama. unfortunately for president obama, ratings were down from last year's state of the union. especially among younger viewers. this sort of thing just doesn't resonate with young people, i guess. they tried showing the speech on snapchat. but i think they're missing the point. i have an idea that might make it more appealing and i offer this idea to the white house free of charge. what if you tried reaching young people in a language they actually speak? like emoji? >> but i can promise that a little over a year from now, when i no longer hold this
with you. inspired by those voices of fairness, engagement, of grit and good humor and kindness that have helped america travel so far. voices that help us see ourselves not first and foremost as black or white or asian or latino, gay, straight, foreign or native-born, not democrat or republican. but as americans first. >> jimmy: meanwhile, we've big sports news, the rams are coming back. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: after 20 years in st. louis the rams -- the owner of the rams got his wish. last night at the blues game
farewell. well, they're upset. the san diego chargers and oakland raiders also said they wanted to move to l.a. san diego still has that option. and if they pass, oakland could step in. it's exciting. finally l.a. will get to experience the thrill of being disappointed by two more sports [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i got here when the rams left. the city's changed a lot since the '90s when the rams were here. i think they should change the name of the team, i have an idea, the kardasherams. right? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: on that subject i do want to mention that kylie jenner has an app and for only $2.99 a month you too can get exclusive personal access to kylie's life which is filled
this. insightful meditation on the new year. >> my life so far. i think years have more to do with just a date. i feel every year has a new energy and i feel like this year is really about like the year of just realizing stuff and just coming into your own and finding yourself. i feel like all my friends around me and everybody around me, we're all just like realizing things and like things are coming to light and we just want to be good people. and just do good things and have fun and just have no stress. >> jimmy: yeah. exactly. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: it is the year of realizing stuff. see, she should have given the state of the union address. everyone would have loved it. we have a fun show, from "the fifth wave" chloe grace moretz is here.
and we have music from dj khaled with future. if you're not familiar with dj khaled, not following him on snapchat snapchat, you should be. he's known partly for his inspirational and motivational messages. kylie jenner has nothing on millhim. nothing. >> life is like sky. some days going to be a lot of clouds with turbulence. some days is going to be clear blue skies. give thanks for the sky. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's the most beautiful five-day forecast you've ever heard. do you want another one? one more? okay. [ cheers and applause ] >> you smart. you very smart. we the best. you a genius. this next part of the video is when you're doing pushups or you're doing sit-ups, whatever, let's get it. another one.
another one. another one. another one. >> jimmy: i think you can imagine how it went from there. [ cheers and applause ] i love dj khaled videos. we wanted to put his gift for inspiration to good use. i asked him to record a motivational message for someone who really needs it, someone who's really down right now, jeb bush. listen up, jeb. you're about to get the key. >> you know i rock with obama. obama, salute. but jeb bush, seems like you need some advice. i'm going to give you the keys to success and motivate you. jeb bush, i appreciate you. you a leader. you a bush. another one. [ bleep ]. they don't want you to win. they don't want you to have breakfast. a healthy breakfast of fruit, green apple, that's the key, apple. the key is to believe in yourself. the key is sneakers.
nobody can widen them for you. don't let they water them for you. you water them for you. be a player. don't play yourself. and don't play basketball. that's not your sport, jeb bush. the key to success is talk. jeb bush and cocoa butter, live life smooth, use cocoa butter, have a glow. always use cocoa butter. major key, cocoa butter. major key, cocoa butter. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that was it right there. cocoa butter. i can easily see jeb gaining 7% or 8% in the polls from that. now this story, this is a tragic comic story if ever there was one. the billion and a half dollar powerball drawing. we don't know the numbers. as the show airs we know. in a lot of offices the co-workers will pool money to buy tickets.
or one keeps it and then the rest sue him later. but anyway. over the weekend 42 people who work at a restaurant in new jersey pooled their money and then when they got the winning numbers, realized they'd hit the jackpot. >> how much? >> 11 -- >> yes, 27 -- yes. >> 62. >> yes. >> 63. >> powerball 17. >> yes! >> oh! >>. >> jimmy: so here's the thing. they didn't actually win. they were looking at the wrong numbers. they had the numbers from like the previous week. which is terrible. but when we come back, we're going to talk to the staff from that restaurant about this
their life from new jersey standing by. stick around, we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] to those who deliver dinner... and get dinner delivered. to those caked in flour... coated in dust... even covered in lava. to those who are up all night... and up all night. to all the beautiful mess makers. keep it up... with delta touch2o technology, you can.
innovative sonicare technology with up to 27% more brush movements versus oral b. get healthier gums in 2 weeks guaranteed. innovation and you. philips sonicare save when you buy the most loved rechargeable toothbrush brand in america. hey sweetie, it's time. eye of the tiger tv anncr: good afternoon everyone. morning rituals are special. when you share what you love... ...with who you love. kellogg's frosted flakes. they're grrreat!
with raviolis so nice we filled them twice. bursting with indulgent flavors like chicken marsala ravioli, or smoked mozzarella manicotti. plus unlimited salad and breadsticks. starting at $12.99. for a limited time. at olive garden. i filed my taxes online at h&r block for $9.99. oh, that's super reasonable. what? that's super reasonable. yeah. what? [announcer] file state online for $9.99.
meet the moore's! we're the moore family, and as you can see, we need an internet that can do more. we do more games, and more streaming. so we need more speed. that's why we switched to time warner cable. now we can connect more devices, at the same time. hi grandma and grandpa! ha, look at that! [laughs] time warner cable even has an internet plan for us. get 50 meg internet for $39.99 per month
call 1-855-want twc. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back. chloe grace moretz, josh holloway on the way. a record billion and a half dollar powerball drawing is tonight. by the time we air it will have been determined. it's the biggest jackpot in the history of the world. not counting jerry hall marrying rupert murdoch. somebody could be realizing they won, please win this already so i don't have to listen to
conversations about how much of the money they would give to charity if they won. everyone's very generous in a hypothetical way. anyway, a group of 42 unfortunate employees at gracini restaurant in new jersey who thought they had won the powerball last weekend turned out they hadn't. they were reading the numbers from the previous week. and they were disappointed. we tracked them down. maybe cheer them up. joining us on our cisco screen on the wall of america, let's welcome everybody from gracini's. hey, guys. charlie, diego, moses, claudio, tony, mike, maybe some other people, you're in inglewood cliffs, new jersey. thank you for joining us. how are you holding up right now? >> we're ready to win. >> ready, jimmy. >> ready. >> ready to win. >> jimmy: whose fault was this?
whose fault it was. charlie? you're the bartender and you read the numbers. where did you get the wrong numbers? >> from a friend of mine, texted them over. we had tickets for us, me and him, and he sent me the wrong numbers from the powerball website. >> jimmy: who is this friend? >> i don't want him to be named. >> jimmy: i'm sure. who organized the pool and got the tickets? who put it all together? >> diego. >> jimmy: how many did you buy, diego? >> like 270 tickets. >> jimmy: how did you guys find out that they weren't the correct numbers, the winning numbers? >> well, 25 minutes after 11:00 i called home. and i said -- my wife said to me, charlie, please just double-check the numbers. check the website.
they had refreshed the numbers. sure enough, every number was different. and i knew we had a problem. >> jimmy: how long did you believe you were millionaires? how much time elapsed that you thought you'd won? >> 15, 20 minutes. >> jimmy: oh, boy. >> high fiving, laughing, crying, everything you can think of. >> jimmy: how did you break the bad news to everyone? >> slowly. >> well, yeah. it wasn't easy. went from one end of the restaurant, worked my way to the other. it was really tough. but it was a great moment for us, it really was. >> jimmy: well, yeah, i bet it was. tony, you're the owner of the restaurant. did anyone at that time -- did anyone quit, did anyone say anything they shouldn't have said? >> oh this guy, diego. he says -- one of the customers wanted a cloth.
then of course the dishwashers started jumping around, ripping their clothes off. they said, we quit, we're never washing another dish again the rest of our lives. and how did i like that? >> jimmy: are those guys back washing dishes right now? >> unfortunately they are. >> jimmy: when god closes a door, he opens a dishwasher. doesn't it feel nice that you get to keep working together? aren't there more important things than having a billion dollars, like providing moderately-priced italian food to the community? >> nope. >> jimmy: no? [ laughter ] >> it sucks. >> jimmy: you got your tickets. how many tickets did you buy this time? >> 400! >> jimmy: all right, okay. you'll definitely win this time, yeah. >> oh, yeah, definitely.
>> now we change grissini meatballs to gissini powerballs. >> jimmy: what are the specials on the menu? >> osso bucco, braised veal shank, marinaded sardines. we have a lot of homemade pastas. >> jimmy: bring me one of everything. >> and we're going to win tonight. >> jimmy: i hope you guys win. it seems like it would be nice karma correction if you do. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: if you do, give two weeks' notice next time, all right? >> it's a deal. >> jimmy: thank you, guys. there you go. >> thank you very much. >> jimmy: the gang at grissini. we've got a good show tonight. chloe grace moretz is here tonight. we have music from dj khaled featuring future. and josh holloway.
those who define sophistication stand out. those who dare to redefine it stand apart. the all-new lexus rx and rx hybrid. never has luxury been this expressive. this is the pursuit of perfection. this is iphone 6s. not much has changed. except it's ridiculously powerful... which makes everything faster. maps... shopping stuff... business-y stuff... this kind of stuff. uhhh, this kind of stuff. and student films... don't look like student films. jon favreau: is this a student film? get these kids on the phone. dude, that is a phone. so, other than being the most powerful iphone ever... not much has changed. hey siri, good night.
brintellix (vortioxetine) is a prescription medicine for depression. brintellix may start to untangle or help improve the multiple symptoms of depression. "for me, brintellix made a difference." tell your doctor right away if your depression worsens, or you have unusual changes in mood, behavior or thoughts of suicide. antidepressants can increase these in children, teens, and young adults. brintellix has not been studied in children. do not take with maois. tell your doctor about your medications, including migraine,, psychiatric and depression medications, to avoid a potentially life-threatening condition. increased risk of bleeding or bruising may occur, especially if taken with nsaid pain relievers, aspirin, or blood thinners. manic episodes or vision problems may occur in some people. may cause low sodium levels. the most common side effects are nausea, constipation and vomiting. brintellix did not have
ask your doctor if brintellix could make a difference for you. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi there. tonight, from "colony" josh holloway is here. later the album is called "i changed a lot." dj ka led with future from the samsung stage. tomorrow night we'll be visited by leslie mann, ariana grande, music from charlie puth. our first best cannot buy beer or rent a car but she's been in
several, is allowed to call nicholas cage nick. her new movie is the thriller "fifth wave." it opens a week from friday. please say hello to chloe grace moretz! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, by the way, congratulations on turning 18. i think the first time you were here you were only 15 years old. >> yeah barely. i just turned 15. >> jimmy: wow, that's unbelievable, it really is. just shows you we're all growing up. >> you know, that's what happens with time. eventually. >> jimmy: do you feel free now that you're 18? things you feel you can -- you can chew tobacco legally. >> i can technically chew whatever kind of tobacco i'd like to. >> jimmy: you can donate blood. >> wow, yeah. >> jimmy: you can get a costco membership. >> uh-huh. i've been trying to get a costco membership for years. >> jimmy: what do you mean trying? >> they denied me.
why would they deny you? you didn't have $40? >> i was just under the cap. it was really frustrate. >> jimmy: at one time when it was cost plus or something, it had a different name, price costco, you did have to have special requirements. now anybody with money. >> now they don't care. unless you're under 18, apparently. >> jimmy: that is true. >> i want to buy my hot dogs in bulk. >> jimmy: it's all any american could ever dream is to be able to buy their hot dogs in bulk. have you graduated? you aren't going to regular high school, you were -- >> home schooled. >> jimmy: did you graduate? >> yeah, i'm done with high school. officially. >> jimmy: you're the only student in your class? >> i graduated top of my class. >> jimmy: nice. >> valedictorian. the whole thing. >> jimmy: did you give your family? >> my living room. >> jimmy: and have you -- do you
>> yeah. >> jimmy: you are. >> i got my license. i turned 18, finished high school, got my license. i'm an adult! then still didn't do anything with it. >> jimmy: you use it? >> no. >> jimmy: are you scared to drive? >> well, i was until i started -- well, my biggest fear was having cars driving. >> jimmy: other cars? >> because it was cars around me. i was fine when i was alone. >> jimmy: i see. >> then i was like, you know what? i'm going to go on a road trip across country. >> jimmy: really? >> that's what you do when you're terrified of driving. >> you didn't go by yourself? >> no, i wouldn't have been able to survive alone. i went with my brother's boyfriend nick. >> jimmy: you must be very close with him. >> yeah they've been together like seven years now. he's kind of a family member. >> jimmy: no fighting in the car? >> no, we didn't get into one fight, which i was ready. i was prepped and ready. to like have a big brawl, you know. like we're good. >> jimmy: with the radio or something like that.
over a bag of doritos. >> jimmy: yeah. >> things happen. car. that's something. it's a shame your brother's -- maybe it should be you. >> we'd be a great couple. do? i heard that they announced that you are going to star as the little mermaid in a live action version of "the little mermaid." >> yeah. >> jimmy: is that now -- [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: being your age that would be -- is that more exciting -- >> mind blowing yeah. >> jimmy: than just typically any movie might be? >> no, it definitely was one of the most exciting things i've ever booked. because -- it's something i grew up with, little mermaid, we all grew up at least knowing it. >> jimmy: i dreamed of being the little mermaid. >> i know you did. you can be my mermaid. >> jimmy: that's nice. >> no, i want to be the mermaid! >> it's fine. borrow a wig. >> jimmy: how do you prepare for being a mermaid?
starting it. i have to learn how to swim in a >> jimmy: really? crazy. >> jimmy: they'll fit you with some kind of thing -- >> some prosthetic tail. >> jimmy: yeah, this could turn >> horrible. >> horrible. it could potentially. >> jimmy: yeah. they'll krazy glue your knees tail -- >> yeah, exactly. ocean. >> i finish the movie never able to walk again. >> jimmy: are you a good swimmer in general? did you tell them that in the audition? >> i can't really swim. >> jimmy: you can't swim? >> well, i can. but i'm not a strong swimmer. >> jimmy: this makes a wonderful story. the little mermaid who couldn't swim. >> yeah. but you know, maybe that's the new story. >> jimmy: that is a good story. >> the mermaid who learns to swim. >> jimmy: it shows people, believe in yourself. >> never back down. >> jimmy: unless you drown, in which case it's a terrible story.
then you die in the first 15 minutes. and it's not okay. >> jimmy: it wouldn't be great for young girls, put it that way. >> no, no. >> jimmy: that's exciting. when we come back we'll talk about your new movie which is based on popular books and it's called "the fifth wave." clowe chloe grace moretz is here. we'll be right back! sfx: rocket blasting off sfx: (countdown) 3, 2, 1
this is a body of proof. proof of less joint pain. and clearer skin. this is my body of proof that i can fight psoriatic arthritis with humira. humira works by targeting and helping to block a specific source of inflammation that contributes to both joint and skin symptoms. it's proven to help relieve pain, stop further joint damage and clear skin in many adults. doctors have been prescribing humira for 10 years. humira can lower your ability to fight infections, including tuberculosis. serious, sometimes fatal infections and cancers, including lymphoma, have happened, as have blood, liver and nervous system problems, serious allergic reactions, and new or worsening heart failure. before treatment, get tested for tb. tell your doctor if you've been to areas where certain fungal infections are common, and if you've had tb, hepatitis b, are prone to infections, or have flu-like symptoms or sores. don't start humira if you have an infection. want more proof? ask your rheumatologist about humira. humira.
some flavors are so good, you get hungry just thinking about 'em. and at red lobster's big festival of flavors you can savor 2 of 7 new and classic creations on one plate for $15.99. like delicious new maple-and-bacon grilled shrimp, because c'mon, what doesn't bacon go with? or get a little kick with these new ghost pepper bbq grilled shrimp. because if you like it spicy, garlicky, or cheesy, trust me you'll like this. but every last flavor is too good to last-so hurry in! dad, you can just drop me off right here. oh no, i'll take you up to the front of the school. that's where your friends are. seriously, it's, it's really fine. you don't want to be seen with your dad? no, it's..no.. this about a boy? dad! stop, please. o, there's tracy. [ horn honks ] what! [ beeps, tires screech ] bye dad! it brakes when you don't. forward collision warning and autonomous emergency braking.
>> drop yours first! drop it! >> okay, your turn. >> let me see your other hand. >> if i move this hand i'm afraid my stomach will fall out. >> i need to see your other hand. what's in your hand? >> nothing. drop your weapon. >> what's in your hand? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: is it an iphone? >> it wasn't an iphone. >> jimmy: gas anit was an iphone. samsung galaxy. >> it's my samsung galaxy. >> jimmy: i'll wait to see the texts i'm getting. this movie as i mentioned, based on a book, and it looks kind of scary. is it scary?
it's a sci-fi action thriller movie. there's definitely moments where you're left on the edge of your seat. >> jimmy: the fifth wave. there's five waves. the first wave is? >> the first wave is an emp which basically knocks out all of our technology and power and usage of cars or anything in the world. and then the second wave is destruction. so it's a series of earthquakes which are also tsunamis which take down and devastate every major city. >> jimmy: which look very scary, i saw that, yeah, yeah. >> the third is this genetically modified avian bird flu which takes out like 97% of the population. >> jimmy: bad. >> horrible. not a fun thing to go through. >> jimmy: yeah. >> the fourth wave are these guys called silencers which are the aliens that come down to earth and pick off -- >> jimmy: the rest. >> the last remaining humans. >> jimmy: and you're one of the last remaining humans protecting your little brother. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you have a bunch of brothers? >> i do, four older brothers.
oh. must have been good -- >> to have a younger brother in in one? >> jimmy: a younger movie brother. >> i was able to boss him around. i got payback for everything. >> jimmy: good. >> so he was really lucky to work with me. he really enjoyed it. no, no. it was really fun to have more like a -- an adult feeling around -- like a little brother. because i've never had a little brother. >> jimmy: you're used to being the kid on these movies. >> always. i've always been the youngest on set. >> jimmy: do you ever google yourself? >> i try not to. >> jimmy: you try not to but it's not hard to. >> it's so hard. >> jimmy: it is hard not to. in google there's a thing where they fill in -- >> the blank. >> jimmy: yeah, what do they call that, auto complete or something like that? >> probably like guess for you. >> jimmy: yeah, exactly. and then so if you put your name, like let's put your name in and see. these i guess are -- i guess these are the most common things that people want to know about you.
>> jimmy: why don't we go through these. are you married? >> you know, not -- no. >> jimmy: no? are you a cello player? >> i can be. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: are you engaged? >> i'm not yet engaged either. >> jimmy: are you single? >> yes. >> jimmy: all right. >> but, you know. >> jimmy: yeah? >> yeah. >> jimmy: does chloe moretz play the cello? >> there's a lot about that cello in there. >> jimmy: they love the cello. do you have brothers? >> yes. >> jimmy: sing? >> i can do it all. >> jimmy: do you have a kick? >> i don't have a -- what's a kick? that makes me feel old. i'm only 18 and i don't know what a kick is. something. thing. >> jimmy: it is a thing. >> is it a thing? >> jimmy: if you don't know you definitely don't have one. >> no. >> jimmy: maybe it's a brand of cello. i don't know. >> it could -- i could play my kick cello. >> jimmy: they're really obsessed with this cello. do you like individual grow
>> jimmy: which one dozen you like? >> assassin ss' creed, battlefield. >> jimmy: who is chloe grace more rets, who is chloe grace moretz's mother. >> wow. >> jimmy: who is your mother? >> who is my mom? it's a mysterious question. no, my mom -- >> jimmy: never know hot their mother is really, do they. >> not truthfully. then you find out and never want to know again. >> jimmy: who is your agent, who are you dating, wdw -- >> what? >> jimmy: i don't know wdw -- >> what is wdw? >> jimmy: i have no idea. >> wd-40? >> jimmy: are you dating wd-40? >> no. >> jimmy: engaged to. >> oh my god. >> jimmy: again with your mom. >> people really love my mom. >> jimmy: the cello and your mom. hopefully now that we've answered these questions there will be a whole new set of weird things. >> i hope so. >> jimmy: maybe the viola, who knows. it's great to see you. the new movie is called "the fifth wave." it opens a week from friday.
be right back with josh holloway!throughout "forget about the cowboy walk because of a saggy diaper" "it's time to dance freely" "thanks to new pampers cruisers" "the first and only diaper that helps distribute wetness evenly into three extra absorb channels." "so it doesn't sag and stays dryer" "so wiggle it" "jiggle it" "and do, whatever that is, in new pampers cruisers"
one... two... three... cheese! yeeees! hey! paparazzi parents! you're welcome! now that t-mobile has double the lte coverage, you can over-share just about anywhere. look at the birdie! you used to have hobbies. now you have a baby. so go ahead. post away! hey, first kid? yeah. t-mobile's new extended range lte now reaches twice as far and is 4 times better in buildings. did you ever think we're maybe over-sharing? no. if you could see your cough, you'd see all the sickness you're spreading. new robitussin cf max severe soothes and delivers powerful relief of cough, sore throat, stuffy nose and fever. new robitussin cf max severe.
hey sweetie, it's time. eye of the tiger tv anncr: good afternoon everyone. morning rituals are special. when you share what you love... ...with who you love. kellogg's frosted flakes. they're grrreat! do you know the secret to a happy home in these modern times? it's a housewife who's in control of the finances. actually, any wife, husband, or human person can use progressive's name your price tool to take control of their budget. and while the men do the hard work of making money, she can get all the car insurance options her little heart desires. or the women might do the hard work of making money. [ chuckling ] women don't have jobs. is this guy for real? modernizing car insurance with -- that's enough out of you!
from dj khaled with future. i spent six magical seasons on an island with our next guest from the show "lost." i'm still not sure what happened at the end. he has a new show "colony," premieres tomorrow night on usa. please welcome josh holloway! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how are you doing? >> i am doing great. >> jimmy: i was thinking about you today, i was wondering when a big powerball prize comes up like that do you play hurley's numbers from "lost"? >> what a great story that would be. wouldn't it? it's not my fate. >> jimmy: it's not your fate? >> it's not my fate. you have to go through poo to get to good. i can't just buy a lotto ticket. but i bought one anyway. >> jimmy: it would wipe out your
>> i bought one anyway, who couldn't? come on. >> jimmy: speaking of dredging through poo you have a new young son. >> yes, i do. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: congratulations. what is his name? >> hunter. he is amazing. and you have a new one? >> jimmy i do, yes. she's a girl. >> congratulations. >> thank you very much. >> you're cool again. you're a hero. to your older kids you're an idiot. >> jimmy: exactly. >> kids start ageing and you can do no right. you can do no wrong. >> jimmy: are you a disciplinarian? i would not imagine that you really crack down. am i wrong? >> i'm the fun guy. >> jimmy: that's right. >> the wifey has to take on that role. however, we do implement certain mechanisms of control. >> jimmy: like what? >> everybody's got a bogeyman. don't they? >> jimmy: what do you mean? >> we use the bogeyman, but
pawangso because my wife's from indonesia. >> jimmy: what is pawangso. >> scary, dude. >> jimmy: tell me about this. >> pawangso is the indonesian bogeyman and looks lying hagrid from harry potter but really dirty. he has ninja men, only their eyes, dressed in ninja pajamas. they come around, scoop you up, put you in a sack, they take you to pawangso and you have to work for him. do dishes, clean husband house, his hovel. >> jimmy: oh my god. you tell your children he's coming to get you? >> oh, yeah. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> spanking is no longer allowed, you use what you can. funny enough, carlton happened to call once, carlton cues. >> jimmy: creator of "lost" and now this show.
voice. he's like, josh? we used to say, we're going to call pawangso. we're like, no, you're not. we'd turn on that message and carlton's voice would come on. you could shove spinach, anything, down her throat. >> jimmy: it's like -- carlton is like -- >> he was really hurt. he was like, i don't want to be pawangso. speaking of -- >> jimmy: like the opposite of santa claus. >> you're like a mexican -- what do you call that? >> jimmy: i don't know. >> jimmy: is that good? >> like el chapo. it's sexy. and mysterious. >> jimmy: thanks. >> i could keep going. >> jimmy: my mother was my bogeyman, i think. no, but you know what? we did have something. because my brother is nine years younger than i am.
been best friends since we're kids. my brother wanted to go everywhere with us. cleto would tell him if he misbehaved that the penis man was going to come get him. >> you go right to it. >> jimmy: and take his penis. >> i'm scared. >> jimmy: forget about pawangso. >> i will wash dishes all day long but don't take my penis. >> jimmy: it only works on boys but it's really effective. >> i like that one. >> jimmy: he was very well behaved. >> my god he was. he still has his penis obviously. >> jimmy: i'm excited you and carlton are back together for this show. i desperately miss "lost." this show is another missysterious kind of thing? >> yes. the story of course is completely different than "lost." but the mode of storytelling is similar in that you don't know [ bleep ].
going on. do you? >> no. in life? no. >> jimmy: no, on the show. >> no. it's that. it's -- the audience knows what you know. so it's unfolding like that. the mysteries unfold. and in that way it's like "lost." answers are going to create questions. worlds will unfold. everything will blow up when you think you have it physical examinationed out. >> jimmy: at the end of "lost" did you ask those guys what happened? do you know what happened? do you have a theory on what happened? >> do you know what happened? >> jimmy: i don't know what happened. >> me either. me it's sgrer. >> jimmy: i don't think we're supposed to know what happened. >> i hope that's the truth. because that's what i tell people. >> jimmy: either that or the two of us are stupid. >> i tell people something different every time if i'm in mood. i'll tell them whatever they want to hear. >> jimmy: then they tell their friends, i heard from josh holloway, this is what was
i want to bring somebody, if you don't mind, i want you to meet somebody who works here. his name is also josh holloway with an "a." i want to meet your doppelganger. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: josh, come in here. >> man! >> jimmy: josh gets a lot of your e-mails. >> we're very similar. [ cheers and applause ] >> i look studious. i'm a writer now. by the way, we have a lot of josh help. pleasure to meet you, brother. >> jimmy: josh -- >> i had a josh that opened that door for me. >> jimmy: we have a lot of joshs. i want to show the range between josh holloways. you can see that it could really go from one end of the spectrum toss other. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: it's almost remarkable. all right. >> we've got to stick together. >> jimmy: josh has been dreading this all day. >> i'm sure. >> jimmy: he does get a lot of
>> thank god, at least he'll answer them. >> jimmy: somebody is answering them. josh holloway, what do you think happened at the end of "lost"? do you have an idea? >> i honestly really loved "lost." yeah, yeah. which makes it all very -- >> you're supposed to be my intellectual side. >> jimmy: this is one of those wonderful moments that's only for our staff. i like to thank josh holloway and josh holloway for being here. "colony" premieres tomorrow night on usa at 10:00. thank you, josh. we'll be right back with dj khaled and future. [ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel
presented by samsung. >> guillermo: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by samsung. >> jimmy: i want to thank chloe grace moretz, josh holloway, apologies to matt damon, we ran out of time. "nightline" is next. first, this is his album called "i changed a lot" with some help from future, dj khaled!
we going to win more! all i do is win win win no matter what got money on my mind i can never get enough and every time i step up in the buildin' everybody hands go up jimmy kimmel! and they stay there and they say yeah and they stay there up down up down up down 'cause all i do is win win win and if you goin' in put your hands in the air make them stay there sippin' my cup what you think i'm hot for here's to make my stock go up they don't want me on jimmy kimmel so i'm going to make sure i'm on jimmy kimmel! and i got my brother future with me. revenge!
dj khaled! put your hands in the air, put them up, put them up, put them up, put them up! sippin' my cup this muddy muddy when i on these bitches no lovey-dovey got a flood on my wrist it was mellow yellow had a flood on my wrist it was yellow mellow check on that chick out the melo they know i don't put on the
i put the racks and the goons on them i got a mac with a drum on them soon as the dry hit we laid on them two cups of the muddy i swerve on them wait on it wait on it and we stay on them we stay on them soon as i turn out the ghost they was mad at me i can see jealousy written on they face when they looked at me they know i don't play about that paper they know i don't play about that paper they know i don't play about that paper they know i don't play about that paper they know i don't play about that paper they know i don't play about that paper they know i don't play about that paper they know i don't play about that paper put your hands in the sky with dj khaled and future! make some noise! ladies, this one's for you. you mine that's right that's right that's right! you mine
everybody come on! dress it up and make it real for me then tell me you gone kill for me then tell me you gone steal for me then tell me you gone steal for me i just said walk in the mall like you're pufff then i say gimme the total i went to harlem and get me a spanish she dress like a mannequin i went to baltimore got me a ghetto i've been livin' so lavishly she [ bleep ] me good she roll up my blunt she even hang around all my savages i put the time in got the rollie hanging off her like uncle marion i know it's love i know it's love cause she hang around all my shooters i walked in the club i walked in the club i told that on the ruger even i'm gangster [ bleep ] love ya like larry hoover i just sent her off to shop her daughter in the uber you're mine you're mine you're mine you're mine you're mine you're mine you're mine let's rock future! jumpman jumpman jumpman jumpman
i just seen the jet take off they up to something them boys just not bluffing them boys just not bluffing jumpman jumpman jumpman them boys up to something she was tryna join the team i told her wait chicken wings and fries we don't go on dates nobu nobu nobu nobu nobu nobu i just throwed a private dinner in la trapping is a hobby that's the way for me money coming fast we never getting sleep i just had to buy another safe bentley spur and phantom jordan fadeaway >> jimmy kimmel, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] this is "nightline." >> tonight, powerball fever.