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tv   Late Night With Seth Meyers  NBC  January 7, 2016 12:37am-1:37am EST

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>> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight, christian slater. from "girlfriends' guide to divorce," actress and comedian, retta. music from grammy nominee sam hunt. the 8g band with matt sorum. ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers! [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening, welcome to "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] that is great to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. north korea announced last night that they successfully tested a miniaturized hydrogen bomb. the announcement was made by a miniaturized dictator. [ laughter ] to him it looked like a great big regular-sized bomb. that's right, north korea claims it has successfully tested a hydrogen bomb and we have
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[ laughter ] those jokes are going to be so much less funny if they're right. [ laughter ] donald trump said today that hillary clinton doesn't have the stamina to take on the country's enemies, which is a ridiculous thing to say about someone who has been running for president for 68 years. [ laughter ] [ applause ] on stamina, she's good. following the success of the netflix show "making a murderer," a new petition seeking a presidential pardon for wisconsin inmate, steve avery, has now reached 200,000 signatures. said president obama, "thanks a lot, i was still on on episode three. [ light laughter ] you got to put spoiler alert on your petition." donaldldrump's wife melania has said in a new interview that she has tried to stay out of the political spotlight because that is her husband's job. then she said, "is that how you
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[ laughter ] melania also said that even though she remains quiet on the campaign trail, she knows everything that is going on and she thinks this is the best season of the "the apprentice," ever. [ laughter ] so many crazy contestants. [ applause ] the former campaign manager for dr. ben carson said today that it is becoming harder to see how donald trump will not win the republican nomination, while ben carson said it's becoming g harder to see, period. [ laughtht ] how many podiums are at this debate? bernie sanders told promise yesterday that if elected president, he would cap atm fees at $2.00. then he vowed to get banks to "stop calling it a pin number! [ laughter ] it's redundant.
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number. it would be like a personal identification number pin! don't say it twice!" [ applause ] "american idol" begins its 15th and final season tonight, and no one is more excited then as its 15th and final viewer. [ laughter ] i better win this year. [ light laughter ] a spanish company has created a speaker that they say can help boost brain development by transmitting music to an unborn fetus through its mother's vagina, though i still prefer the old-fashioned method by singing into it directly. [ laughter ] i just called to say what's that? out of tune? how dare you, honey.
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josh romney, son of mitt romney, is reportedly considering of running for governor of utah in 2020, and i'd say he's got a pretty good shot considering over half of utah residents are romneys. [ light laughter ] and finally, women in oregon can now obtain birth control over the counter without a prescription, and so can men. [ laughter ] [ applause ] ladies and gentlemen, we have a great show for you tonight. [ cheers and applause ] he is one of the stars of what i consider one of the best new shows of this year, "mr. robot." three golden globe nominations, including best supporting actor for our guest christian slater, who is back on the show tonight. [ cheers and applause ] another friend of the show, she's one of the stars of bravo's "girlfriends guide to divorce," retta is back with us tonight. [ cheers and applause ] and fantastic music for you tonight. he made his tv debut on "late night," now he is a two-time grammy nominee.
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[ cheers and applause ] but before we get to all that good stuff, armed anti-government militia men have been occupying a federal building in oregon since saturday, and instead, they'll continue the standoff or as long it takes. for more on this it's time for a closer look. [ applause ] >> seth: now the incident began on saturday when an armed group broke off from a peaceful protest against the resentencing of two ranchers. dwight and steven hammond, who were convicted of arson. the ranchers served their time and were released from jail, but were later ordered to go back. >> they were convicted of arson, right, and a lower judge said you can serve a minimum amount of time. they did serve that. then the federal judge -- the ninth circuit, the ninth circuit is a very liberal appellate court. he said, "no, you have got to serve the five-year mandatory minimum on the arson -- >> seth: that is a bummer. imagine leaving prison and then getting the call that you have to go back in. you can't make me go back on the
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they can suck it. [ laughter ] those guys remember stuff like that. now, there's actually a conversation to be had here about the wisdom of mandatory minimums, but there is a lot more going on in this standoff then just the arrest of the ranchers. ammon bundy, the apparent leader of the group is the son of the famous nevada rancher, cliven bundy known for his 2014 standoff with federal authorities. they claim the federal government has no business owning so much land in western states. and today it was widely reported in the news media that ammon bundy had tweeted a defense of the armed standoff saying, quote, "we are doing the same thing as rosa parks did. we are standing up against bad laws which dehumanized and destroy our freedom. now, this turned out to be a cautionary tale for the news media because ammon bundy is not actually on twitter. that is a fake account, which is good. it was the only way you could compare what rosa parks did to using guns to take over federal property, is to confuse the bus rosa parks was on with the bus
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[ laughter ] who can forget the famous rosa parks quote, "pop quiz hot shot. there's a bomb on a bus and if it drops below 50 it blows up. this is rosa parks." but by far the weirdest development yet in this whole episode happened last night during a seemingly routine segment on msnbc. >> for the latest we are joined now by msnbc national reporter tony dokoupil live in princeton, oregeg. >> seth: okay, nowowet's stop there for a second. as you see, okay, in the background, there is a blue tarp. now you might be thinking. what is under that tarp? supplies, some firewood? no, the answer is so much better than that. >> over my shoulder is a man under a blue tarp sitting in a rocking chair with a rifle over his lap. >> there is guy under that tarp there. >> there's a 55-year-old rancher from arizona named lavoy finicum. >> seth: that's right.
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sitting in a rocking chair holding a rifle. that sounds like a guest in a game of militia clue. [ laughter ] this keeps getting better, because lavoy finicum, the man under the tarp has a very good reason for sitting there. >> he says there is a warrant out for his arrest. we can't confirm that but that's what he said, and he does not plan to accept that warrant. he does not plan to come -- to go peacefully if the police come. >> seth: that's right, law man. lavoy finicum is under the tarp, and i ain't ever coming out. [ laughter ] >> we were here all day long and we didn't see any -- any provision shipment come in. >> seth: oh cleetus. you got to cut me some air holes. i just hot boxed myself. [ laughter ] clearly, clearly the militia's plan here is not super thought out. and on top of all that, most of the militia members aren't even morman. in fact ammon bundy apparently tried to recruit some local activists to join his cause but his appeal didn't quite work. bundy said, "we went to the local communities and presented it many times and to many
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make the stand." so what was your strategy, to go knocking on doors? "hey there, would you be interested in living in the woods with some heavily armed strangers? lavoy brought his tarp, so that will be fun." [ laughter ] so with the local community expressing a firm lack of interest in joining the standoff, some of the occupiers have been issuing video messages and appeals on social media for militia sympathizers to cross the country to come and join their cause. although i'm not sure their pitch was all that compelling. >> we need you to get here and stand with us. look, this place is swarmed with media. so pretty much all the way up to the gate here is pretty packed. there is still plenty of parking right here on the outside. [ laughter ] >> seth: oh, there is. oh there is. that's good. because if your number one concern about driving across the country to join a potentially violent armed occupation of a federal government building, parking would be your number one concern.
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because that's tyranny. now to their credit, several republican presidential candidates criticized the bundy militia, and called on them to leave peacefully. but former pennsylvania senator rick santorum made a comparison to another protest movement that has angered a lot of people. >> i certainly don't like the tactics they're using. but that isn't unlike the tactics that occupy wall street was using, and they were taking over lanan city land and some government land and occupying that for quite some period of time. this is a situation that has to be handled just like -- unfortunately, they had to handle the occupy wall street. >> seth: you're comparing the armed militia to occupy wall street? the militia has guns. the only weapon occupy wall street ever had were drums. no one has ever yelled, "oh my god, he's got a drum." even when those drums have been in their most dangerous formation, a circle. this has been "a closer look." [ cheers and applausus] we'll be right back with christian slater.
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the all-new lexus rx and rx hybrid. never has luxury been this expressive. this is the pursuit of perfection. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back to "late night", everybody. give it up for the 8g band, please everyone. [ cheers and applause ] also back with us tonight, he's been the drummer behind legendary rock bands the cult,
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velvet revolver. he's also a rock and roll hall of fame inductee. matt sorum is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] be sure to check out his new band kings of chaos. thank you so much for being here this week, matt, really appreciate it. >> thanks, seth. i love it, man. [ applause ] >> seth: i'm very excited. i'm very excited for our first guest tonight. he is nominated for a golden globe award for his performance in a really fantastic new show on usa called "mr. robot." please welcome back to the show christian slater. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: it is great having you back. >> thank you so much. >> seth: it's really exciting. >> thank you. >> seth: and you have the golden globes next weekend? this weekend? >> this weekend. yeah, friday. >> seth: this weekend.
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globes? >> i've been, yeah i've been. i've been -- i've given a few golden globes before. >> seth: but first time nominated. >> first time nominated. >> seth: that's exciting. >> yeah, thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: do you expect that you'll go into it with this sort of it's just an honor to be nominated, or do you think the whole night you'll also really want to win it? [ laughter ] >> i expect to go and do it just being so grateful and happy to certainly be included in that list, and to be a part of the show is fantastic. >> seth: and it is really the only award show that's any fun to be at. >> i think so. >> seth: it really is. >> yeah, i mean ricky gervais is the host. >> seth: ricky gervias will be very exciting, in fact, i feel like he's going gold for it. >> so i pray to be insulted in some way. >> seth: yep. >> right? yeah. [ laughter ] >> seth: and it's also -- i feel like you can tell from watching on tv, but until -- because i only went the first time a few years ago. the tables are so close together, when you get up to go to the bathroom -- [ grunting ] >> excuse me, excuse me. >> seth: but passing -- but doing, like, instead of strangers, it's like, oh, bill murray.
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so it's really fun. >> right. >> seth: you end up going to the bathroom like 50 times just to meet people. >> that's right, just to say hello to people. absolutely. >> seth: so this show "mr. robot." congratulations, first of all, it's such a surprise hit. >> thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: such a great job by usa. >> yeah. >> seth: but this is a show that almost from the beginning -- from the very beginning, there were a lot of questions and the show created a lot of spoilers, a lot of ways to potentially spoil the show. >> correct. >> seth: have you ever been in a project that had this kind of spoiler mentality, and was it difficult for you to keep it from the people? >> i never actually, no. i've never been in a show that required me to sort of keep a lid on it and then when the episodes started to air, you know, people started coming up to me, and there were definitely some close call moments where e people were very insistent, like, who is this guy? what are you doing? and who are you supposed t tbe in the show? >> seth: well if they were asking like that, they did not deserve to know. >> they were a little aggressive. [ laughter ] >> seth: that's way too aggressive. >> it was a little aggressive. so i would quickly run the other way. >> seth: for people at home who have not seen ththshow, i'm
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put spoiler alert right here on the bottom of the screen. you can just mute it. i'm going to give you a second to mute it. when the spoiler alert goes ofof you can turn the tv back on. and for people in the audience, you're just [ bleep ]. [ laughter ] >> if you haven't seen it, you're [ bleep ]. >> seth: over the course of the show, your character, we don't know who your character is, and what we find out is that you were the ghost of the lead actor, the lead character's father. >> right, rami malek. >> seth: who's fantastic on his own. >> amazing guy. >> seth: did you know from the very beginning? because reading the pilot script, you wouldn't have known. >> you know, i had a sense when i read the pilot. there was such an air of mystery about the character. i was very intrigued. i remember just asking myself, and then i said to my agent, "do you think this guy is really there?" and he's like, "come on, the show is called 'mr. robot.' there's no way they would do that, that's totally crazy." then when i sat down with sam esmail, and he told me. i said, "look, what's the deal with this guy?" he said, "do you really want to know?" i said, "yeah." and he told me.
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more than i actually even anticipated. >> seth: i'm glad we're also taping this because i do think another spoiler for the show would be people who say, "mr. robot," that sounds like a super fun show for kids. >> yeah. >> seth: and then they turn it on and they find out it's totally not. [ laughter ] >> no, no. yeah. >> seth: that would be even a worse spoiler. >> i mean that was the thing, like when i read -- when i saw the title of the pilot, and they gave me the script, i was like "mr. robot", oh god. they're going to open me up and i will have wires and nonsense like that, but then when i read the script and saw what the subject matter was, i was very excited. >> seth: obviously, one of the subject matters as well is like hacktivism, sort of computer security. have you become more paranoid about your own personal computer security? >> i think so. certainly. no. definitely updating -- it raised my level of awareness about those aspects of the internet, and you really do have to be very cautious and not use your pets' names as passwords. >> seth: i am a one-password man. >> oh, good. really? >> seth: it's so terrible. >> what's your dog's name?
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i'm not giving that up. i'm going to at least make you go online and google that. >> okay, okay. >> seth: you also had a fantastic scene -- you shot a scene in times square. >> yeah. >> seth: and you actually -- and i can't even imagine -- i mean walking through times square, you have to psych yourself up for it. >> right. yeah. >> seth: doing a scene, i can't even imagine what that's like. how did you approach that? >> that was pretty intense. it was pretty exciting. i mean, the show opens sort of in times square, and then the last episode, we did film that pretty big scene there at night, so we did see some crazy, interesting characters at night. there was definitely a lot of screaming, a lot of intrigue to what we were doing. >> seth: a lot of them were just like pointing at you and like, "he's the ghost of t father!" [ laughter ] >> that's right, yes. >> seth: they're like, do you watch the show? and they're like, no. >> no, that's just what they were seeing. exactly, exactly. yeah, no, i read that in the script and got a little nervous about it, because you're right, i grew up in the city and the idea of shooting something in times square was quite scary.
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then to actually have to say lines and do this whole speech and do all these things so, what i ended up doing was every day for five days before we went to go shoot that scene, i just went to times square at different odd hours of the day and stood there in the middle of it and rehearsed that scene, and people would look at me and just think i was some lunatic talking to himself. [ laughter ] >> seth: that is the best place to do that. [ laughter ] >> yeah, i fit right in. >> seth: yeah. >> yeah, yeah. >> seth: you have to do so much in times square to not immediately be one-upped by the person next to you. >> exactly, exactly. >> seth: oh, my god, look, it's christian slater talking to himself. oh, look, elmo's shoving a lady. [ laughter ] >> yeah, yeah. >> seth: that's better. >> that's right. >> seth: i like that more. obviously a lot of people are fans of the show. i think one of the most interesting fans, edward snowden said he was a fan of the show. how did he -- did he say it via twitter? >> i believe he did say via twitter.
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>> seth: yep. >> and this was definitely something that he let everybody know, that this show -- what he really appreciated about the show was the accuracy of it. that was certainly one of the challenges for me. when i got the pilot there was a lot of technical jargon in the script, and i wanted to make sure that i learned it all as well as i possibly could so i could impress everybody, and by the time we came to shooting the scene, all those terms i learned were outdated and all needed to be completely thrown out. >> seth: well i would say if you're doing a show about hacking, getting the stamp of approval from edward snowden it about the highest praise you can get. >> it's very nice. >> seth: it's very good. and you're probably on a couple watch lists now, just so you know. >> might be, yeah, how exciting. >> seth: this i want to ask you about, because this has actually been a very quentin tarantino themed week for us on the show. we've had a lot of cast members of "hateful eight" on. >> great movie, great movie. >> seth: it's great. "hateful eight", super fun. you were in "true romance", which is one of his first -- he didn't direct it, but he wrote
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fantastic film. >> he's seen it. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] thank god he's here. >> seth: but, this is -- because i remember seeing that movie when i was in film school and it was such an inspiration to me. and you guys just did a live reading. you and patricia arquette came back to do a reading. were you at all hesitant to do a live reading like that? >> well, yeah, that was another thing that came through twitter, actually. jason reitman sent me a personal note, saying, "hey, look, can i ask you a question?" and he said that he does these readings of these scripts. and the only thing i was hesitant about was i just wanted to make sure that if we were going to do it that i would do it with patricia arquette as well. and she was fantastic. she actually showed up in full alabama wardrobe. >> seth: wow >> i mean, i don't know, she still had the costumes and showed up and did it, and it was like we hadn't missed a beat. >> seth: obviously, i knew there were fans of that film. but i didn't realize exactly how -- you have some, like,
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>> well, they do like a thing at the safari hotel, which is where we shot some of the movie. i mean, they do it once a year, sort of a "true romance" fest is what it is. and everybody shows up in their hawaiian shirts and elvis costumes. and they all have a great time. >> seth: well, i feel like we're only a few years away from "mr. robot" fest. so i'd brace yourself for that as well. >> all right. [ laughter ] >> seth: congratualtions, again. it's such a success and it's great having you back on the show. >> congratulations to you too. >> seth: thank you so much. [ cheers and applause ] christian slater, everybody! we'll be right back with retta!
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black. [ laughter ] >> i just said that because you're black. i'm m sorry, is that awful? >> it's hilarious because you're a riot. people do that all the time. they're like, did you all go to preschool together? because he's black too. >> no. >> that's fine. >> alright, want me to find you a date? >> seth: please welcome back to the show, retta! [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: what a delight it is to have you back on the show. >> why thanks, how are you sethy? >> seth: good, how are you? did you have a nice holiday? >> i did. >> seth: did you spend it with family? did you spend some time with family? >> i did. i have two new nephews. >> seth: yes. >> one is one and the other is three months. and they are delicious and fabulous. >> seth: well i want to thank you because you're very active on social media.
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respecter of your work. and there's a picture of you and one of those nephews and i'd like to point out the t-shirt you're wearing. you're wearing a "late night with seth meyers" t-shirt. [ cheers and applause ] >> i travel with it. >> seth: it's very nice. >> i have two of them. >> seth: you get one every time you come back so you can keep adding to your closet. i also want to talk about family, because the last time you were on the show, we talked about how you met my parents at the emmy party we had the year i hosted. >> larry and hill. >> seth: larry and hill. and you were kind of jamming it out. [ laughter ] >> i wasn't jamming, your dad was killing it. and i was in awe. >> seth: yes. and i want you to know that ever since you said this on television, my dad now feels that his dancing moves have been given this sort of perimeter of your love and he's sort of bragging it up everywhere he goes. >> he should. >> seth: okay, good. >> i mean i was entranced. my friend rosa ,who is here with me today. we were both like [ scream ] [ laughter ] >> seth: i will tell you, in my life, when you talk about like crazy shocks or twists in the
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"sixth sense" twist. i saw you first looking at someone on the dance floor, and i followed your eyes. [ laughter ] and when it ended at my father -- [ laughter ] that was like my, bruce willis has been dead the whole time. [ laughter ] >> yes, i was so -- you introduced me and i was like, that's the guy! and you're like, it's my dad. [ laughter ] >> seth: you probably thought he was some big time hollywood producer. >> i did, i was like, who let this guy in? because he was like a little bit crazy. >> seth: yeah. >> but owning it. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> he was owning it. >> seth:h:eah, he thought that because i hosted the emmys that night, he had diplomatic immunity. [ laughter ] like he could do whatever he wanted. >> by the way, i'm obsessed with your mom as well. because i want to drink with your mom. i want to come back and drink with you and your mother because i think i can hang with hillary. >> seth: okay, because we -- a popular segment on our show, at least to my mother, day drinking with the meyers. you're in on the next one. [ laughter ] >> my favorite. >> seth: me, you and my mom
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>> my favorite. that and thanksgiving, you know, when you guys play the game "how well do you know the meyers?" >> seth: yeah. >> is that what it's called? >> seth: yes. >> i love them so much. >> seth: alright, well look, you can join the family. we would be happy to have you. you're also very unique. i don't know, i want to ask you do you love this or if this becomes bothersome. you were known from a catch phrase from "parks and recreation." >> i'm sorry, what? [ laughter ] >> seth: treat yourself. >> yeah. >> seth: treat yourself. >> i like the delayed -- he's like, no, no, i got it. [ laughter ] >> seth: how often a day do you hear it? >> if i don't hear it ten times a day, i haven't left my house. >> seth: wow. [ laughter ] >> and, you know, people tweet me all the time. nothing i post doesn't have the comment "treat yourself" in it. but i love that people think they're discovering new land with it. >> seth: yeah. [ laughterer >> i'll post the new purse i just bought and they're like, "girl, you know what you just did, right?" [ laughter ]
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i do. >> seth: i knew while it was happening. >> is that fact? my credit card knows it. >> seth: it's very great to see you in the new show "girlfriends' guide to divorce." is it a different character for you? is it a departure? >> it is, but i like it. i like to do something different. on my first day, there was a long speech, and i told the director, "i feel like she would kind of cry at the end of this." and he was like, "yeah, yeah, yeah, gimme that. gimme that." but then he kept -- he was so into it, he kept having me cry sooner and sooner, and there was a point where he wouldn't let me stop, he was like, cut. action. and i was like -- i'm bawling, shouldn't i start someplace else? no, it's fine, it's fine, it's fine. i like having something elsse to do. it's fun. >> seth: you are a great television actor, which i think is one of the reasons people you often live tweet shows when you're watching them. it hips me to many shows. was this a show that you knew about before they approached you
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>> i did. i'm a fan of lisa edelstein, and i remember when i heard that she had a new show. i was like, i'm going to watch the show, i was interested. and i had forgotten to set my dvr. so i knew i would miss the first two and i thought, i'll find it on dvd at some point. and then they asked me to do the show, so i said, can i get the first season? so i watched it, obsessed with it, so happy and then i was like, nervous because i was like, "what if i'm not as good as what the show is for me?" so i was nervous to do it, but excited because i love the show, but after the first episode, marti noxon, the creator, sent me an e-mail after it was edited. she said, "i watched it, you're so great, i'm so happy. thank you so much for doing the show." and i felt relief, and i said, "thank you for asking me to do the show." and she said that her and her 9-year-old daughter love "parks," and her daughter's favorite character is donna and they were upset when they found out the show was cancelled. and so her daughter said, "well, if she can't do that show, can she do your show?" and that's how i got the job. [ audience aws ]
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that's fantastic. >> a 9-year-old got me a job. [ cheers and applause ] get it where you can! get it where you can. >> seth: if that happened to me, i would call my agent and go, "you know who got me a job? a 9-year-old! so maybe step it up!" >> just a little bit. >> seth: step it up. >> oh, i changed my team. >> seth: oh, okay. good, good, good. [ laughter ] she's your team now, right? tell me, because like i said, you are a lover of tv. what are you watching right now? what should we all be watching? >> so syfy has a new show called "the expanse." >> seth: "the expanse." >> no -- yes, "the expanse." i was on twitter and patton oswalt had tweeted something about saying that, "syfy, i hate that this new show is good. i don't have this much time in my life." >> seth: yeah. >> which, of course, made me say, please don't tell me there is another good show. and i had been on the road and i
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then someone from syfy sent me a link to watch it online and now i'm stuck. >> seth: so you got to watch "the expanse" on syfy? >> "the expanse." i mean, i watch -- "the good wife" is still my jam. >> seth: okay. >> it's so good. "empire," "scandal." "the usual suspects." i want to get into "the affair," because everybody keeps talking about it. >> seth: yeah. >> "the leftovers." did you watch the most recent? >> seth: i haven't watched season two yet. everybody's saying it's really good. get into it? you know what i'll tell you about "the affair?" it's an interesting show to watch with your wife. [ lalahter ] >> how's that? >> seth: a lot of tense moments not just on the screen. but like, yeah. i fell like at the end of every episode of "the affair," she feels like there is a 45-minute conversation we need to have. >> is it a lot of, is she looking at me, is she looking at me? >> seth: and then i do this a lot. >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> seth: it's like, watch "the affair." i watch it so if she looks, she's like, at least he's thinking. [ laughter ] >> you just need to do a lot of,
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do you believe this guy?" >> seth: come on, this guy. the guy is like, come on. >> come on. >> seth: i basically pretend. i'm like, talk the way you talk if you were watching a sporting game that wasn't going your way. [ laughter ] what's this guy doing? come on! get your head in the game. >> they pay you for this? >> seth: yeah. "the affair," a lot of sex on that show. you're show, a lot of sex on the show. is this -- what can we expect? >> i'm prepping myself -- i've only had one on-screen kiss and keegan michael key was the recipient of all that. >> seth: delicious. >> so lucky. so blessed. so, i'm mentally prepping myself for having to do the dirty on camera. >> seth: okay. >> it hasn't happened yet, but we'll see. >> seth: okay. when it happens, if you -- because i know you serviced so many shows by live tweeting during those episodes, if you want me to take over and live tweet the episodes where you get it on, i'll be happy to. >> oh, i appreciate that.
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>> i'll text you. >> seth: and i'm going to say something like, i'm probably going to go, "you know what she's doing? she's treating herself." [ cheers and applause ] thank you for being back on the show! we're going to go drinking soon. retta, everybody! check out "girlfriends' guide to divorce" on tuesday nights at 10:00 on bravo. we'll be right back with more "late night." [ cheers and applause ] (air horn, trap door opening) rootmetrics, in the nation's largest independent study, tested wireless performance across the country. verizon won big with one hundred fifty three state wins. at+t got thirty-eight, sprint got two, and t mobile got zero. verizon also won first in the us for data, call speed, and reliability. at+t got text. stuck on an average network?
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actually, philly was the first capital. oh, honey... no wait, did you just have that on your phone? it's time to mix it up. do it, dad! yeah, do it! there are thousands of ways into the complex health care system. it was frozen. daddy's hand looks funny. and choosing unitedhealthcare can help make it simpler by letting you know when your claim has been processed. yo, adrian. still not funny.
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all: milk! milk! milk! milk! milk! okay! fun's over. aw. aw. thirsty? they said it would make me cool. they don't sound cool to me. guess not. you got to stick up for yourself, like with the name your price tool. people tell us their budget, not the other way around. aren't you lactose intolerant? this isn't lactose. it's milk. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back to "late night," everybody.
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a lot of expenses to cover the cost of putting it on every night, and because of that, we took on some pretty terrible sponsors. sponsors that we're not completely proud of, sponsors i'm ashamed we took money from. but because we did, we do have to mention them on air. so i'd like to apologize in advance. "late night" is brought to you by pet suspenders. [ laughter ] do you buy pants for your pet? want to make sure they stay up? get him some pet suspenders. pet suspenders, they're not squirming out of these. [ light laughter ] we're also are sponsored by roast-its. the post-it notes you write on roast beef. once you've completed the task, reward yourself with delicious roast beef. mmm, it's been sitting on your desk all day. [ laughter ] also move overerceiling fans, there is a new way to keep the bottom six inches of your home cool.
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your floor. floor fans, watch your step. [ laughter ] real breath mints. mints that taste like breath. [ laughter ] now in three exciting flavors, morning, cigarettes and coffee. real breath mints. the breath you can taste. [ laughter ] "late night" is also sponsored by spotlight the movie, the ride. the roller coaster based on the movie about the boston globe's expose of abuse in the catholic church. [ audience ohs ] yeah i know. it's got ups, downs and mostly downs. [ laughter ] spotlight the movie: the ride, it will make you say, whee! need to examine our society. tampoons.
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[ laughter ] [ applause ] finally, a tampon you can shoot like a harpoon. [ laughter ] it's the time of the month for adventure. tampoons, not to be confused with whalepons, tampons for whales. next up, fisher price vape and play. [ laughter ] baby's first toy vaping system. fisher price vape and play. it's just a phase of fun. [ laughter ] pig banks. [ audience aws ] [ laughter ] regular piggy banks are too easy to get into and too hard to love. so get yourself a pig bank, a real pig you feed your money to. pig bank, because there is no law against it, yet. [ laughter ] also, old stickers. they used to be sticky, now they're not.
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whose hair is this? [ laughter ] loose hamsters. make your house a cage. they're here, they're there, you stepped on one. [ laughter ] loose hamsters, they're just as scared as you are. [ scattered applause ] we're also sponsored by vaguely racist spa treatment. [ laughter ] rub black mud all over your face and wonder, is this okay? vaguely racist spa treatments. give yourself a refreshing glow that you somehow feel kind of guilty about. those were our terrible sponsors. here's a message from one of our good ones. we'll be right back with music from sam hunt.
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cheez-it grooves are the perfect union of a cheez-it and a chip. you mean like they got married? umm... i guess... you'd make a pretty bride in that wedding gown. oh, it's a lab coat so... hey everyone, joe's getting married! bam bam ba bam. oh, i'm not. we take time for our cheese to mature in our crispy cheez-it grooves. jim beam and apple have come together to make history. introducing jim beam apple. poured over ice and served with club soda and a fresh lemon wedge. to make a crisp refreshing jim beam apple and soda. uh right now you can get 15 gigs for 100 bucks plus $15 per line that is perfect because we are about to start the whole long distance thing yeah and lots of data will mean lots of video chatting how much is that? 15 gigs, that's over 40 hours of video chatting wow whoa 40 hours, that's a lot of communication yeah yay love! get 15 gigs for 100 bucks,
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i drive a golf ball. i drive to the hoop. i drive a racecar. i have a driver. his name is carl. but that's not what we all have in common. we talked to our doctors about treatment with xarelto . xarelto is proven to treat and help reduce the risk of dvt and pe blood clots. xarelto is also proven to reduce the risk of stroke in people with afib, not caused by a heart valve problem. for people with afib currently well managed on warfarin, there is limited information on how xarelto and warfarin compare in reducing the risk of stroke. you know, taking warfarin, i had to deal with that blood testing routine. i couldn't have a healthy salad whenever i wanted. i found another way. yeah, treatment with xarelto . hey, safety first. like all blood thinners, don't stop taking xarelto without talking to your doctor, as this may increase your risk of a blood clot or stroke. while taking, you may bruise more easily and it may take longer for bleeding to stop. xarelto may increase your risk of bleeding if you take certain medicines. xarelto can cause serious and in rare cases, fatal bleeding. get help right away for unexpected bleeding, unusual bruising, or tingling. if you have had spinal anesthesia while
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or muscle related signs or symptoms. do not take xarelto if you have an artificial heart valve or abnormal bleeding. tell your doctor before all planned medical or dental procedures. before starting xarelto , tell your doctor about any kidney, liver, or bleeding problems. xarelto is the number one prescribed blood thinner in its class. well that calls for a round of kevin nealons. make mine an arnold palmer. same here. with xarelto there is no regular blood monitoring and no known dietary restrictions. treatment with xarelto was the right move for us.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: after making his television debut right here on "late night," my next guest has had one of the biggest years years in music, including four consecutive top-charting platinum selling singles, an american music award for best new artist and two grammy nominations for best new artist and best country album. back to perform, his latest single, "break-up in a small town," give it up for sam hunt. [ cheers and applause ] i knew i'd see her around might be at some party she'd show up and i'd be walking out or across some parking lot hiding behind her sister i'd look up and she'd be at the red light beside me
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with the sticker on the back i'd act like i didn't see her we'd pay at the same pumps flip through the same stations and slow down for the same curves run around with the same crowds we just needed some time she could get on with her life and i'd get on with mine thought i would be fine maybe not i knew she'd find a way to get over me but i'd never thought that she would get down with somebody i know i guess that's just how it goes when you break up in a small town i see our friends put on a show like they don't want me to know so they give me the go-around but there's only so many streets so many lights i swear it's like i can't even leave my house i should've known all along you gotta move or move on when you break up in a small town for a while i guess they kept it low-key but now it's like these
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closing in on me i see 'em everywhere together and just hits close to home she's so far gone she just didn't go far over me before the grass grew back where she used to park her car now she's leaving those same marks in someone else's yard in someone else's arms right down the road and i never thought she would get down with somebody i know i guess that's just how it goes when you break up in a small town i see our friends put on a show like they don't want me to know so they give me the go-around but there's only so many streets so many lights i swear it's like i can't even leave my house i should've known all along you gotta move or move on when you break up
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her mailbox is seven minutes from mine and i drive into town sometimes i see you sittin there with him and i wanna jump out i wanna fight i wanna say that guy but i can't cause it's my fault i let her go i never thought that she would get down with somebody i know i guess that's just how it goes when you break up in a small town i see our friends put on a show like they don't want me to know so they give me the go-around but there's only so many streets so many lights i swear it's like i can't even leave my house i should've known all along you gotta move or move on when you break up
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[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: sam hunt, everyone! "montevallo" is out now.
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[ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: my thanks to christian slater, retta, sam hunt, matt sorum and of course the 8g band. stay tuned for carson daly. we'll see you tomorrow.
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