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Search Results 0 to 49 of about 716 (some duplicates have been removed)
Dec 6, 2016 12:37am EST
in them or not. in china, trump has long promised to do things differently with china if elected. for example, there was the time the chinese government failed to provide president obama with the customary red carpet stairs to exit air force one. and trump said if that hne >> they won't even give him stairs, proper stairs to get out at the airport. you see that? there are pictures of other leaders that are going there. and they're coming down with a beautiful red carpet, and obama is coming down a metal staircase. if that were me, i would say you know what, folks? i respect you a lot. let's close the doors, let's get out of here. >> seth: trump would have turned his plane around and left over a likes to make, china better also buy a smoke machine. [ light laughter ] sorry, i forgot. china is a smoke machine. [ laughter and applause ] but whatever your thoughts are on china, it's a delicate important relationship. for example, we need their help dealing with north korea's nuclear weapons program. so any action that china might see as provocative should be done only after a long period
May 28, 2015 12:36am PDT
whose new exhibit "china through the looking glass" opens tomorrow through august 16th. please welcome back to the show anna wintour. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: hello. >> hello, seth. >> seth: it is so lovely to have you here. >> it's a pleasure to be back. >> seth: congratulations on a very successful met ball. >> thank you. >> seth: and this is how many years have you been in charge of the met ball? 16, is that right? >> 16, maybe even 17. terrifyingly, yes. >> seth: it was a wonderful event. it is -- all of new york descends on the museum. and this year it was a little harder to get there because the president got in your way. >> yeah we got a call not from the white house, i was rather surprised. but we found out that the president was going to have a fundraiser just two or three blocks away from the museum exactly the same night. and as a result, i thought, "well i better leave my hotel room early." and we were completely completely stuck on madison avenue so i thought, "okay, i'm going to get out and walk." so i'm walking along with my head down, watching dress
Dec 21, 2016 12:37am EST
twitter account for information about what he's doing. like this weekend when china seized the u.s. naval drone in international waters and trump tweeted quote "china steals united states navy research drone in international waters. rips it out of water and takes it to china in unprecedented act." but drawing as much attention as his shoot from the hip foreign policy was his apparent inability to spell because the original tweet trump wrote that it was an unpresidented act. unpresidented is not a word of course, but it would be a great title for a movie about hillary clinton. [ laughter ] she was inevitable until she became unpresidented. and i'm not criticizing trump for being bad at spelling. i'm bad at spelling, it's just i pay attention when twitter tells me when i spelled something wrong. conservatives complain that obama ignored the red line in syria. trump ignores it on twitter. [ light laughter ] but of course in our new post-truth era, there is no right or wrong way to spell, as trump's spokesperson kellyanne conway said in a statement after the tweet, "while liberals focus on sp
Jul 27, 2017 12:37am PDT
? >> i mean well beijing -- china is amazing. i mean it's so incredible and i was lucky enough to bring my kids. we went to the great wall. we went to the forbidden city. we, you know rode in a ricksha. and when we were leaving i turned to my 5-year-old and i said, "what was your favorite part of china?" and he said, "i like the time we the truck with the pigs on it." [ laughter ] because at one point we were stuck in traffic and this truck pulled up with pigs in cages. that was his favorite part. [ laughter ] after the 15-hour flight, and i remember seeing those pigs in the truck and noticing that they seemed very happy, but i realized they were just looking at me and my five kids and going, "well, at least i'm not that loser." [ laughter ] you know? >> seth: your kids were sort of instant celebrities in beijing. explain. >> well, we, in china, you know, i'm not -- i might look chinese, but i'm not. [ light laughter ] and my children are pale and blond like me. and so they stuck out. and the chinese were very nice. they're very nice, but many times people would want photos with m
Oct 27, 2017 12:37am EDT
his relationship with china's president, who was just granted enormous new powers. so let's see our ivy league-educated president talk about perhaps the most important bilateral relationship in the world. >> he represents china. i represent the usa. so, you know, there's going to always be conflict. but we have a very good relationship. people say we have the best relationship of any president -- president -- 'cause, he's called president also. now some people might call him the king of china. >> right. >> but he's called president. >> seth: that's right. they have the best relationship of any president president. incidentally president president sounds like how you describe someone in comparison to trump. "sure, trump is a president, but obama was a president president." [ laughter and applause ] also, i love -- i love when trump says things like, "some people call him king of china," which just gives away that's what he used to call him. [ light laughter ] "so i'm going to meet the king of china?" "the president, sir." "where's the king?" "there is no king." "they killed the king?
May 30, 2017 12:37am EDT
. was it china? [ laughter ] that's right. president trump questioned why america fought the civil war. you know, at this rate the only way trump is going to get a second term is if he's held back. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] all f's? i flunked everything? [ cheers and applause ] i got a b-plus in phys ed. [ light laughter ] president trump published an op-ed in the "washington post" on saturday to promote the accomplishments of his first 100 days in office. but in retrospect, he probably bought a little too much space. [ light laughter ] southwest airlines has announced it will no longer overbook its flights while united says it will now match up flight attendants and passengers by weight class to make for fairer fights. [ light laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] good progress. according to the reuters, president trump has a button on his desk that he uses to order a coke. of course, he thinks it orders a nuclear strike but once he gets the coke in his hand, he forgets what he was so worked up about. [ laughter and applause ] scientists have developed a new robotic drill
Sep 29, 2016 12:37am PDT
? >> it could be russia but it could also be china. [ laughter ] >> seth: no it's definitely russia. although how do you say china again? >> china. >> seth: that's really hard on the ear. >> china. >> seth: stop it. [ light laughter ] china. secretary clinton, a science question for you, is it possible that there are life-like humanoid robots that are so realistic they're living among us right now, and we can't tell? >> of course, we are 5% of the world's population. [ applause ] >> seth: mr. trump, apple has been taking a lot of heat lately over the fact that their new iphone doesn't have a headphone jack. how would you fix apple? >> i will bring back jobs. [ laughter ] >> seth: you will bring steve jobs back to life? >> it's going to be a beautiful thing to watch. >> seth: are you sure? [ light laughter ] [ applause ] >> seth: secretary clinton, a question about romance, what would be the worst possible date you could ever go on? >> taking out bin laden. >> seth: okay that makes sense. secretary clinton how do you feel about the fact that trump exclusively dates younger women? >>
Jan 2, 2016 12:37am PST
summit in copenhagen in 2009, is that six years ago china -- one of the world's largest polluters -- did not see climate change as a and now china can't see anything, because they live inside the belly of the smoke monster from "lost." [ laughter ] so with china on board this time, leaders from 196 countries were able to agree on an ambitious set of goals for cutting greenhouse gases. but that's not to say there aren't flaws in this plan. for example, the deal is basically voluntary. there's no enforcement mechanism. a point secretary of state john kerry was asked about on "meet the press" this weekend. >> there seems to be no mechanism for getting countries to comply, other than wagging your finger at them and shaming them. am i wrong? >> well, that's the most powerful weapon in many ways. >> seth: and there's no, no weapon more powerful than the bony, ichabod crane finger of john kerry. "stop your carbon, sir!" [ cheers and applause ] "stop it!" the agreement is not legally binding. but for the u.s., it couldn't have needed the approval of congress, and that was unlikely, especi
Oct 15, 2016 12:07am CDT
products in china. hillary clinton returned to the campaign trail today and told reporters sitting at home was pretty much the last place i wanted to be. said bill, "we have so much in common." [ laughter ] donald trump taped an episode of "the dr. oz show" yesterday. "big deal, i tape it everyday," said jeb. "i'm just kidding. i watch it live." [ laughter ] afternoon who he sees when he looks in the mirror, donald trump replied, "i see a 35 year old." a 35-year-old jack-o-lantern? [ laughter ] donald trump appeared on dr. oz today and said "he stays healthy on the campaign trial by getting up there and using a lot of motion." yeah, but you know who is never in great shape? the guy who parks really close to the gym. donald trump's testosterone levels are high. though i don't know if we can trust that, because so is his doctor. [ light laughter ] yeah, man, you're good to go. you're president healthy, bro. hillary clinton said in an interview this morning "that donald trump has willingly aligned himself with right wing fringe group and every deplorable thing they represent." so hill
Sep 9, 2016 1:07am EDT
know what i'm saying? also, in china, you launched a a new -- [ laughter ] that's how i wear it. >> that's the cool way. that's good. >> jimmy: that's the cool way to do it, right? >> yeah, yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: wearing sunglasses? >> yeah. >> jimmy: i don't know. this blocks the sun. yeah, exactly. in china, you worked with jordan, with the new line of jordan -- quest, you're going to freak out on this one. quest is -- he's a -- yeah, he's a sneaker head, but these are just gems, they're more like luxury -- >> yeah, i have a lot -- i have a lifestyle shoe -- just because it's faster, i like to change the game up a little bit, and one with lifestyle. [ inaudible ] [ cheers and applause ] they are all jealous of these guys. there's the little -- right there -- come on, that's the way to do it. >> yeah, that would do it. that would do it, yeah. [ applause ] >> jimmy: you do all this. >> i do. >> jimmy: and you're amazing at basketball. you're a very, very talented guy. >> thank you. i appreciate that. >> jimmy: but i was wondering if tonight since football season kicked off, then
Dec 9, 2016 11:37pm CST
campaign to get tough on china, but a major chinese bank currently pays for office space in trump tower. meaning that, the president of the united states will be pocketing rent checks from a state run megabank, owned by the and economic rival. now, to be fair to trump, he might not have realized the bank is actually owned by china. what's the bank's name? "the bank of china." [ light laughter ] "i thought it was the plate kind of china. [ light laughter ] you know, like a bank for your plates. [ light laughter ] you would deposit plates, and then if you had a dinner party, you would take out -- the number of plates for the guests you had. and then if you didn't have room for the plates at your house, at the end of the meal, you deposit the plates. i can't believe this. they're a chinese bank." so we keep getting more reasons to worry that trump could use his office to benefit himself, and yet, in spite of all this mounting evidence, that trump's sprawling business empire could pose a massive problem for his presidency, he continues to insist everything is fine. >> donald trump tol
Dec 10, 2016 12:37am EST
promised throughout the campaign to get tough on china, but a major ite pocketing rent checks from a state run megabank, owned by the united states' largestonomit ri. might not have realized the bank is actually owned by china. what's the bank's name? "the bank of china." "i thought it was the plate kind of china. you know, like a bank for your plates. [ lila you would deposit plates, and you thenuld take out -- the numr of plates for the guests you had. and then if you didn't have room for the ple enates aof the mealt the plates. [ light laughter ] i can't believe this. they're a chinese bank."ting mo hioffice to benefit himself, and yet, in spite of all this mounting evidencwline, thabusin pose a massive problem for his everything is fine. ld "e new york times" the law is on my side. the president t have a conflict of interest." that statement raised a lot of eyebrows, ciechoed the words of famously corrupt president. saying is that, there are houston plan or that part of it was one ofm, president can decide that it's in thet something illegal. >> well, when the president does it,
Jan 27, 2016 12:37am PST
s snghai for the premiere. >> yeah, we went to china with jack black. >> seth: with jack black. >> which we've never -- when you do these animated things you don't work together, you know, we don't have any interaction. >> seth: of course, you're not actually acting. >> we're just in a booth. we're not actually acting at all. >> seth: not at the same time. >> no, we aren't. but we are, but we're not and we're not together. but we go and we meet each other >> seth: right. yeah, you're like, "hey, i was the other panda." he's like, "oh, cool i was a panda too." >> cool. [ laughter ] basically, yeah. and everybody is like, did you guys have fun working together? we're like, "yeah." >> seth: so that's where you do your acting. >> and then we start acting. [ laughter ] >> seth: oh my god, we had so much fun together. >> the chemistry was immediate! [ laughter ] but, no, jack and i -- first of all, he is everything that you would think he is and more. he's a great guy. and then going to china with jack black is like a whole other thing. >> seth: yeah. >> you know? because he's defini
Sep 16, 2017 12:37am EDT
with seth meyers." tonight -- jake tapper. star of "top of the lake china girl," actress gwendoline christie. music from gary clark jr. featuring the 8g band with allison miller. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers, this is "late night," how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] that is great to hear. in that case let's get to the news. former first lady michelle obama dressed up as beyonce to celebrate her birthday this weekend and not as barack thought, to celebrate his. [ light laughter ] according to bloomberg, president trump's allies are worried about the resignation of his personal bodyguard and aide, keith schiller. because they say schiller is trump's emotional anchor. oh, when was he resigning? 30 years ago? [ laughter ] seriously, this has been the emotionally anchored trump? [ light laughter ] what's the unhinged trump going to do? build a lair? [ laughter ] former president obama today criticized president trump's decision to end the daca program. of course, the only reason trump wants to en
Nov 4, 2015 12:37am PST
china. we already have one of those here in new york. it's called laguardia airport. [ laughter ] ladies and gentlemen, we have a great show for you tonight! she is the star of "mom" on cbs, now in its third season. the lovely allison janney joins us on the show tonight! [ cheers and applause ] he is one of the stars of amazon's new show, "good girls revolt." hunter parrish stops by the show tonight. [ cheers and applause ] and they are two of the foremost experts of soccer here in america. the men in blazers are back on the show. [ cheers and applause ] they call it "football," we call it "soccer." we'll find common ground this evening. now, you guys, moving on. these days sang terms are evolving so fast that sometimes it is hard to keep up. so we here at "late night" decided to give you a little primer in a segment we're calling "seth explains teen slang." ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: our first slang term is "thirst trap." [ light laughter ] now, many of you have probably seen this used on instagram. so, what does it mean? well, it's a real term that means any statemen
Apr 5, 2016 12:37am EDT
lunch break in order to shorten the typical work day. meanwhile the president of china has just introduced casual sundays. [ laughter ] i thought it deserved a little bit more but i think we're about right. that was about right. disneyland paris is temporarily shutting down its haunted house after an employee was found dead inside the attraction. but those last few customers really got their money's worth. [ laughter ] [ applause ] an artist has started painting new york showing batman and superman kissing to promote lgbt equality. "this is how i find out," said robin? [ laughter ] [ applause ] "down the street like a dope, i gotta see a mural? " and finally, new simulator has opened in china that claims to show's its participants what dying feels like. that story again, china is finally getting chipotle. [ laughter ] [ applause ] ladies and gentlemen, we have a great show for you tonight. she's starring in the new play, "dry powder," at the public theater right now here in new york. claire danes is on the show tonight. [ cheers and applause ] he is the star and creator of "the
Jan 14, 2017 12:37am PST
laughter ] now let me see i guess that would be your problem. [ cheers and applause ] china last week -- china last week seized a u.s. navy drone submarine from international waters in the south china sea, which was a real bummer for the guy operating it. [ laughter ] i got bad news. i got bad news, barak. i took out the drone. i know you told me not to but the chinese got it. oh, that's all right. that's their problem. the chinese government said this weekend that it will return the u.s. naval drone submarine that it captured last week. it's how they told us that is surprising. [ laughter ] in bed. nursing home facilities have reportedly been using robotic therapy cats to sooth their residents. said nursing home residents, screw that, i want weed. robot cat, this is terrifying. [ laughter ] and finally the price of gold increased today after falling to its lowest level in almost a year which can only mean one thing. trump is remodeling his bathroom. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen we have a fantastic show for you tonight. she is nominated for a golden globe,
Dec 23, 2014 12:36am PST
." >> seth: yeah, he's a tall man. [ laughter ] and you saw him in china. you went over to china. i read an article where admitted that for the first three years you played against yao, you didn't know he spoke english. >> no, i didn't. [ laughter ] because, you know, they tried to make it a china versus u.s. thing. so, i was on the usa mode so i never spoke to him. and then one game he hit me with a nice move, i was like, "nice move" and he was like, "thanks, dog." [ laughter ] i was like, "yao, you speak english?" "yeah, shaq, you never talk to me." [ laughter ] perfect english. i'm like, i never knew that, yeah, three years. >> seth: you've done a lot of acting over the years. you've been in a lot of movies. one of the things i've noticed about the movies you've been in is you often play yourself, you often play shaquille o'neal. >> that's hard to do, seth. >> seth: that's hard to do. >> it really is. [ laughter ] >> seth: not all the time though. sometimes you play other characters. so, here's what i'm going to do -- i'm going to name the movie. you tell me the name of your character
Oct 18, 2016 11:37pm MDT
russia, russia, i mean it could be russia, but it could also be china. could also be lots of other people it also could be somebody sitting on their bed that weighs 400 pounds, okay. >> seth: wow. trump is so superficial he even fat shamed a dude he just made up. [ laughter ] "china." why does he say it like that? could be russia. it could be china. [ laughter ] but maybe the most insane answer trump gave was his answer on cyber warfare. tendency to get lost in trump's showmanship, his performance, so we've been doing something on the show lately where we read his answers rather than watch him say them. so i'm just going to flatly read to you trump's answer on hacking and the topic of cyber warfare. these are his words. quote, "when you look at what isis is doing with the internet they're beating us at our own game, isis. so we have to get very, very tough on cyber and cyber warfare. it is. he's 10-years-old. he has computers. he is so good with these computers. it's unbelievable. the security aspect of cyber is very, very tough. we are not doing the job we should be doing. but tha
Jan 31, 2017 12:37am PST
to land. i'm going to keep flying! do you want to go to china? let's go to china. i can do this. i'm feeling good. i'm feeling good. you refuel. i'm going to china. whoo! [ laughter and applause ] psychologists recently revealed phrases that people in a relationship should not say to each other, including comparing a partner to their mother or suggesting a partner should have campaigned more in wisconsin and michigan. [ light laughter ] [ audience oohs ] hey, it's in the past. get over it! [ light laughter ] two new hampshire burger king employees were arrested last week, after selling marijuana at their drive-through. which is crazy. who goes to burger king before they get weed? [ light laughter ] this next joke i've never been more confident, or excited, to tell the joke than the joke. and i hope i'm not ruining it, by overselling it, but man, oh, man, you guys are about to get a real a-lister. [ light laughter ] a dental student, i think, the thing is, it's going to be one of those jokes you take with you the rest of your life. [ light laughter ] and it might not get its biggest l
Search Results 0 to 49 of about 716 (some duplicates have been removed)