[ ♪ theme music ♪ ] >> stephanie: well, good morning current tv fans. hello hal sparks. hello, chris lavoie. i'm not talking to jacki schechner since i was beaten so badly at the danceoff at my party. talk to the hand. >> i said you got extra points for originality and enthusiasm. >> ouch. >> enthusiasm. >> stephanie: that's like every kid gets a tee ball trophy [ wah wah ] >> another adorable story about jacki schechner. she brought a pie. how mayberry is that? she makes a mean key lime pie. >> where was this pie that i seem to have missed? >> stephanie: we all ate it before you could get to it. it was delicious. >> wait, she baked a pie and she outdanced you. she's turning into like the nemesis in a romantic comedy. [ laughter ] >> stephanie: that's right. she's the aunt bea of stephanie miller's mayberry. andy, i brought a pie. you're not from l.a., are you? that's so cute. here she is. all of that and she cooks too. jacki schechner in the current news center. >> good morning, everybody. i'm not sure why mitt romney allowed donald trump to completely overshadow his day yest

into space. >> stephanie: hal sparks? >> rick perry. >> stephanie: yes! rick perry. >> stephanie: they're running ads with what all the republicans said. [ laughter ] >> rick perry just shot himself in his face this weekend. [ laughter ] [ ♪ "jeopardy" theme ♪ ] >> stephanie: jim, who said the bain model is to go in at a low price, borrow an immense amount of money and pay bain an immense amount of money. i think that's exploitation. who said that? >> gordon cooper. >> it was -- >> stephanie: it was newt gingrich. [ applause ] >> i remember him. he was running for president at one point, wasn't he? madly. for a long time! >> stephanie: who said instead of trying to work with them to find a way to keep the jobs and to get them back on their feet, it is all about how much money we can make. how quick we can make it and get out of town to find the next car cass to feed upon. who said that? [ ♪ "jeopardy" theme ♪ ] >> hal sparks? >> was he also in the coffin? >> he was one of the people. >> i'm going to go with marcus bachmann. [ buzzer ] >> stephanie: no. governor rick perry

thriving. at hal sparks. i just posted on twitter at hal sparks senator feinstein's twitter to send her a message about whether or not you think she should be backing bain capital over the president. >> stephanie: exactly. this sounds like a joke. drunk man -- brought his parrot into a bar. >> i don't know. >> stephanie: future husband i don't know. police charge an eastern iowa man with drunk driving after stopping him outside a you dubuque bar when he was beside a small zebra and a parrot. he dispute the arrest saying he was about to let a passenger begin driving. i don't know if it was the parrot or the zebra. he says the zebra parrot are pets and like riding in the truck and he goes to that bar because he sometimes lets them come inside. which leads to a lot of drunk people going -- >> did i see a zebra? >> stephanie: are you sitting between a parrot and a zebra? >> not that there's anything wrong with that. >> it's a free country. >> stephanie: joe in arizona with the latest arizona birtherrism nonsense. hi joe. hello, joe. did i do that right? there you are. hey, joe. go ahead

days with hal sparks. >> yes! yes! >> oh god you look good in tv life. >> i was once told i have a face for radio but a backside for television. i beg your pardon. >> you are welcome, current tv audience for the visual audience. and you are lucky that there is no smell-o-vision. because i bright brussel sprouts and garlic. [ flatulence sound effect ] >> it's day three, how about some gastrointestinal distress. >> or some bleeding from the eye. >> hal, you previously had the worst flight ever. >> oh, yes, flying through charlotte, and worst weather ever, and they kept circling around, and everybody on the plane puked. except there was one other guy that didn't puke. he crapped his pants. [ flatulence sound effect ] >> and even still, i think the jet blue flight did win. >> the pilot started running around going iraq iran say your prayers! >> these blue potato chips are making me crazy. >> yeah, he began pounding on the cockpit door and yelling about iraq and iran. >> and he will be mitt romney's running mate. >> there you go, jim. he is still not quite crazy enough to join the republican

! >> yay. [ applause ] >> hal sparks will be in germany, so he will rejoin the tour in july. >> that's right. >> today the big show blake butler, very important marriage equality vote coming up in north carolina on tuesday. and the polls show even though it is ahead, it is because there is massive misinformation and we know about that from out here in california, so very, very important to talk about that. ari berman with another terrifying article. [ mysterious music ] >> how about this scary music? [ dramatic music ] >> that's better. mitt romney is surrounded by all of the bush people that still think iraq was a good thing. >> yeah, we need to get back in there and start stirring things up. >> yeah, we need to smack that hornet's nest again. let's stick our hand back in there. and then sexy liberal john fugelsang in hour number three joins live from the new york studio -- >> excuse me he is in phoenix to do his one-man show. >> that's right. >> here is someone that did have a worse morning than we did. i saved this after dealing with -- [ nbc "nightly news" theme ] >> dealing with o

return of stephanie miller, john fugelsang and hal sparks. this time to the plush and historic paramount theater which has hosted live performances by the marks brothers. stephanie miller and her sexy brand of liberal comedy. ticket are available by calling 877-784-4849, saturday. this is the sexy liberal show at the historic paramount theater in seattle. >> good night seattle we love you! [ applause ] >> okay you can email us all at stephaniemiller.com. like this one my dog, mr. bee, and i watch your show every day. and he wants you to see his picture. [ applause ] >> look at how handsome he is. i'm so hung over i forgot to turn the tv on for max and fred. >> you picture them sitting in front of the tv all three hours don't you? >> is it me? am i too self involved? and then i go home and say did you see what i said and then jim said -- >> at least you are not talking to the dead monkey. >> that's what i said to all of the guests. are you all here for the dead monkey funeral, come upstairs. >>> had we been in japan, jim -- did you hear this story? >> no. >> you might want to cr

liberal gang on cd. featuring the talents of john fugelsang. hal sparks >> it sounded like popcorn with the heads exploding. a victory on the terrorism front? >> and progressive radio superstar, stephanie miller. >> it is getting too mean in the republicans debates. >> go to stephaniemiller.com or sexyliberal.com to own the album that chronicles history. now available on cd. >> yeah! [ applause ] >> go to sexy liberal on facebook and twitter. we have dates coming up next month in boston and l.a. get it. from mark in san francisco, we like people that write respectful letters with a little snark. san francisco where they moved me off of their show. and their ratings have gone 90%. "stephanie miller show" was a daily complain i don't know, we were loyal and vocal customers of your station advertisers, but due to the recent shake up our family has found our smartphone availability to listen to stephanie miller in the morning. also your shake uphas eliminated the need to have an old-fashioned radio laying around our home. and i'm sure your station's ratings increased during stephanie miller

in my mouth a little bit. >> join comedic geniuses, hal sparks. john fugelsang >> fox news is like a mexico for people who hate mecca. >> and stephanie miller. as they help columbus rediscover its funny bone. >> who is laughing now, huh? i'll tell you who is laughing we are! >> tickets are available at ticketmaster.com, or by calling. this is truly the show that will put the oh, ha back in ohio. coming to the capitol theater on august 18th. buckeye state you are going to love our nuts. >> you are going to love my nuts. [ applause ] >> yes, indeed. wow wee. did you see the woman in mitt romney's audience said the president should be tried for treason. >> based on what exactly. >> and romney didn't say anything about that. because you know the kind of principals he has. [ applause ] >> even john mccain had the decency -- the president he is an arab. >> no man he is a decent family man. unlike arabs. [ buzzer sounds ] [ laughter ] >> at least he had -- >> we have a president right now that is operating outside the structure of our constitution. >> huh? what does that mean? [ cheers an

. sexy liberal john fugelsang, sexy liberal hal sparks is back. >> i saw that. >> and tickets flying down the door for the show in july. for columbus in august seattle in september, and boston tickets almost gone for the next show, with aisha tyler, june 9th. john, did you see the first-ever three-way tea bagging demonstration. >> i have not seen it, nor has my probation officer. >> you will see what aisha is doing to you. >> i love her, but the one thing i dread about hal not being there, and i'm going to get put into the tee bagging demonstration. and we don't even let it steep. >> even in maryland. >> two of my favorite memories from sexy liberal philadelphia was first turning stephanie spectacular ass in my personal bongos. >> i remember. >> second of all, john meeting my teenage son and offering to be a witness of how bad of parents we were for bringing him. >> i remember meeting you. and saying you belonged on the cover of unfit parents for being there. >> last night, i said turn on 192. and he said oh my god, it's john fugelsang. john, it was great. every day, please steph giv