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[laughing] >> chris: points to chris cubas. [laughing] >> chris: no points to humanity. >> chris: that's the end of "rapid refresh." and now it's time for tonight's "#hashtag wars." you know a lot of our hashtags are dopey. tonight is no exception. bird khrebs. no time to waste this intro. we've got to fly through this because you need to hear mia sparrow, jimmy tallon, and goose willis. not to mention j.k. owling, birdie sanders, and, of course, katy parroty. so without further ado, let's play #birdcelebs! 60 seconds, be begin. >> louie duck. chris: doug benson. >> barisagnu. >> -- the johnson. >> sa moan. >> i'm a wren. >> stephen hawking. >> sir hand kingly. chris: points. chris. >> sean puffin combs. [laughing] >> chris: that was before he became peacock diddy. >> chris: doug benson. >> stephen o of aviary the murd. chris: if you're not watching that documentary it's on nestflicks. >> chris: that's the end of "#hashtag wars." send us your #birdcelebs and tag them @midnight to keep the game going. we'll be right back. our tw
[laughing] >> chris: points to chris cubas. [laughing] >> chris: no points to humanity. >> chris: that's the end of "rapid refresh." and now it's time for tonight's "#hashtag wars." you know a lot of our hashtags are dopey. tonight is no exception. bird khrebs. no time to waste this intro. we've got to fly through this because you need to hear mia sparrow, jimmy tallon, and goose willis. not to mention j.k. owling, birdie sanders, and, of course, katy...
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Jan 28, 2016
01/16
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chris: it's what you think it is. >> a interview with talking heads chris hardwick. >> chris: yes. [cheers and applause] >> chris: naked girls posing with fake corpses. that's the entire [beep] magazine. brandon. >> how to eat brains and [beep]. chris: points. yes. [ applause ] >> chris: esther. >> how to make him jiz maggots. [ applause ] >> chris: points. next up. "machinery lubrication." esther. >> so your radiator wants to try anal. >> chris: points. [ applause ] >> chris: brandon. >> how to turn your machine on and keep it wet and [beep] your machine. >> chris: ya, points. ryan stout. >> a message from our [beep] editor louise machinery. [laughing] >> chris: points. >>chris: next, "doll reader". oh, no, esther. >> best rooms to cry alone in. chris: points. ryan. >> 7 dolls that will remained you of your missing son. >> chris: points. [ applause ] >> chris: i just think the first page should be like, so you're baron. >> look at those thighs salute willininghitler. this is my baby. [laughing] >>chris: finally, "dads". dads magazine. val kilmer. >> they're your kids too, god damn
chris: it's what you think it is. >> a interview with talking heads chris hardwick. >> chris: yes. [cheers and applause] >> chris: naked girls posing with fake corpses. that's the entire [beep] magazine. brandon. >> how to eat brains and [beep]. chris: points. yes. [ applause ] >> chris: esther. >> how to make him jiz maggots. [ applause ] >> chris: points. next up. "machinery lubrication." esther. >> so your radiator wants to try anal....
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Jan 27, 2016
01/16
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chris rock. all about chris. [laughing] >> everybody loves chris. [cheers and applause] >> chris: they do. they do. >> thank you, sir. chris: excellent. a thousand points to marlon. 500 to jenny and affion. to our next game. [cheers and applause] >> chris: it's time for dog time. photobombs, like everything in life, are always better when they involve dogs. aults. we found a delightful bunch of dogs photobombing pictures on dogtime.com. for example, here's a classic... [laughing] >> chris: dog with the cat sleeves. driving. i was disappointed to learn that "dog time" wasn't just "time" magazine for dogs. think of all the hard-hitting dog news! comedians, since i can make you do whatever i want, i'd like you to list as many articles as you can that might appear in "time" magazine for dogs. examples might be "this year's best tennis balls rated for chewiness" or "why your farts shouldn't startle you." i'm putting 60 seconds on the clock, begin. jenny. >> are you a basic bitch? chris: points. affion. >> how to bark all the time like an asshole when you
chris rock. all about chris. [laughing] >> everybody loves chris. [cheers and applause] >> chris: they do. they do. >> thank you, sir. chris: excellent. a thousand points to marlon. 500 to jenny and affion. to our next game. [cheers and applause] >> chris: it's time for dog time. photobombs, like everything in life, are always better when they involve dogs. aults. we found a delightful bunch of dogs photobombing pictures on dogtime.com. for example, here's a classic......
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Jan 29, 2016
01/16
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chris: april. >> love is a garfield. chris: points. kyle. >> ain't nothing but a hound cat. >> chris: yes. [laughing] >> stand proud. chris: alright, points. he gave me that face. [ applause ] >> chris: that's the end of "hashtag wars." send us your #catsongs and tag them @midnight to keep the game going. we'll be right back. >> congratulations to our tweet of the day from yesterday's hashtag war, (inspirational music) (special effects) lisa! what took you so long? (laser blasts) duracell quantum lasts longer in 99% of devices, so you can power imagination all day long. (duracell slamtones) ♪ (cell phone rings) where are you? well the squirrels are back in the attic. mom? your dad won't call an exterminator... can i call you back, mom? he says it's personal this time... if you're a mom, you call at the worst time. it's what you do. if you want to save fifteen percent or more on car insurance, you switch to geico. it's what you do. where are you? it's very loud there. are you taking a zumba class? >> chris: welcome back to @midnight.
chris: april. >> love is a garfield. chris: points. kyle. >> ain't nothing but a hound cat. >> chris: yes. [laughing] >> stand proud. chris: alright, points. he gave me that face. [ applause ] >> chris: that's the end of "hashtag wars." send us your #catsongs and tag them @midnight to keep the game going. we'll be right back. >> congratulations to our tweet of the day from yesterday's hashtag war, (inspirational music) (special effects) lisa! what...
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Jan 14, 2016
01/16
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. >> chris: adam new man. >> let's get it on video. chris: points. chelsea davidson. >> it had to be you. i'm 39 and childless. >> chris: points. sean. >> jack and diane are probably divorced by now. >> chris: yes, a couple times i imagine. adam. >> sexual, oh no healing. >> chris: points. yes. >> chris: sean. >> baby in res. >> that ruins the song. >> chris: that's the end of hashtag wars. send us your #ruinalovesong and tag them @midnight to keep the game going. we'll be right back. our tweet-of-the-day from last night's hashtag war was sent to us by @eryn noterin. thank for and extreme begin? good question. a wise man once said, sweat and body odor, is your bodies... ...way of saying, hey slow down, you need a break. but thanks to new dirt destroyer, the most powerful... ...old spice body wash ever made. my body will finally shut up and let me live. is there a limit to how much living i can live with... ...my life. how will i know if i've gone to far? and why did i spend my lifes saving on sun glasses... ...for a whale? i shall find the answers...
. >> chris: adam new man. >> let's get it on video. chris: points. chelsea davidson. >> it had to be you. i'm 39 and childless. >> chris: points. sean. >> jack and diane are probably divorced by now. >> chris: yes, a couple times i imagine. adam. >> sexual, oh no healing. >> chris: points. yes. >> chris: sean. >> baby in res. >> that ruins the song. >> chris: that's the end of hashtag wars. send us your #ruinalovesong and...
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. >> chris: no. [laughing] >> chris: points. mary. >> hit me in your butt like you do with all other radishes. [laughing] >> you know you put radishes in your butt. >> i'll put four in now. >> yes. chris: that's the end of serving face. time for our live challenge trump tapes. unflushed toilet bowl covered b >> chris: pee soaked granny wig. he has release the his first campaign video. >> he will stop with a wall on our southern boarder that mexico will pay for. first off, this sounds more like an attack ad against trump than for him. i feel to the rest of the world trump -- i know he's up in the jihad recruitment polls. other countries and organizations around the world, trump for america is like your sister's roommate's boyfriend who tags along with you. you're like, no, he's not with us. he's saying racist things to the kitchen staff. [cheers and applause] >> chris: then it's like, i know he's here. he's not -- you can take him outside and kick the [beep] out of him. we're fine. we will take our waffles and go. the one thing t
. >> chris: no. [laughing] >> chris: points. mary. >> hit me in your butt like you do with all other radishes. [laughing] >> you know you put radishes in your butt. >> i'll put four in now. >> yes. chris: that's the end of serving face. time for our live challenge trump tapes. unflushed toilet bowl covered b >> chris: pee soaked granny wig. he has release the his first campaign video. >> he will stop with a wall on our southern boarder that mexico...
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Jan 26, 2016
01/16
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i'm chris hardwick. tonight's comedians are: author of "grace & style: the art of pretending you have it," available february 2nd in bookstores and amazon, it's grace helbig. [cheers and applause] >> chris: ya. [ applause ] >>chris: performing at biltmore cabaret during just for laughs northwest in vancouver february 25th, it's hari kondabolu. [cheers and applause] >>chris: from "white flight," streaming now on comedycentral.com. it's matt braunger. [cheers and applause] >>chris: ripped from today's internet headlines, it's "rapid refresh." [cheers and applause] >> chris: and now here's a list of the most trendingest topics on the web today. the first thing we're gonna talk about is: @nypdnews. winter superstorm jonas buried new york city under three feet of snow on top of the regular two feet of garbage and pizza rats. and, like a pizza rat, the n.y.p.d. has a lot on its plate right now, so they instituted a mild form of casual authoritarianism called a travel ban. "after 2:30 p.m and you're on the road
i'm chris hardwick. tonight's comedians are: author of "grace & style: the art of pretending you have it," available february 2nd in bookstores and amazon, it's grace helbig. [cheers and applause] >> chris: ya. [ applause ] >>chris: performing at biltmore cabaret during just for laughs northwest in vancouver february 25th, it's hari kondabolu. [cheers and applause] >>chris: from "white flight," streaming now on comedycentral.com. it's matt braunger....
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Jan 13, 2016
01/16
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chris: amazing. points. >> james and the giant impeachment. >> chris: points. >> diary of a mad black president. >> chris: points. >> bush did nine and a half weeks. >> chris: paul. >> woodroson of the mask. chris: points. joe. >> puddy task. [laughing] >> thank you. [cheers and applause] >> madiaz airforce one. chris: hodgman. >> the assassination of jfk by the pope, cuba and lady -- >> chris: points. >> precious based on the novel bush -- >> chris: that's the end of >> chris: that's the end of #hashtagwars. introducing pizza hut's first $5 flavor menu. your pizza hut favorites. just $5 each when you order two or more. so, 2 medium pizzas just five bucks each? yes. well alright. can we get wingstreet wings for five bucks each? yes. can we get pasta? and how about a hershey's cookie? yes and yes. can i get pizza for the whole team? you got it mr. cuban! just five bucks each. yes! it's easy to say yes to our first ever $5 flavor menu. only at pizza hut. kids, juicy fyeah.gum with starburst flavors? (m
chris: amazing. points. >> james and the giant impeachment. >> chris: points. >> diary of a mad black president. >> chris: points. >> bush did nine and a half weeks. >> chris: paul. >> woodroson of the mask. chris: points. joe. >> puddy task. [laughing] >> thank you. [cheers and applause] >> madiaz airforce one. chris: hodgman. >> the assassination of jfk by the pope, cuba and lady -- >> chris: points. >> precious...
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Jan 5, 2016
01/16
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-mike: this is chris. -lemonis: how you doing, chris? chris: very nice to meet you. lemonis: i'm marcus. what do you do? chris: i order all the parts for manufacturing, finance. lemonis: so you're doing manufacturing and you're the accountant? chris: yeah. mike: chris left a corporate company, making six figures, and cut it in half to come work for sjc. he has mbas and an engineering background. lemonis: you a partner in the business? chris: we act like partners, but i have no equity stake in the business. -lemonis: so that's a no? -chris: yes, so... lemonis: so, something beautiful like this... what's your cost to make it -- materials and labor? chris: $680. lemonis: it was $680 to make this? what will you sell this piece for? mike: $795. lemonis: so at, basically, 15% margins. mike: right. lemonis: that's a lot of work for 15 points. -these things look badass. -mike: exactly. thank you. lemonis: your margins are not badass. -chris: right. -mike: right. lemonis: you really have to have a sustainable margin on any product to be able to pay your bills. i mean, their m
-mike: this is chris. -lemonis: how you doing, chris? chris: very nice to meet you. lemonis: i'm marcus. what do you do? chris: i order all the parts for manufacturing, finance. lemonis: so you're doing manufacturing and you're the accountant? chris: yeah. mike: chris left a corporate company, making six figures, and cut it in half to come work for sjc. he has mbas and an engineering background. lemonis: you a partner in the business? chris: we act like partners, but i have no equity stake in...
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Jan 20, 2016
01/16
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chris: points. [cheers and applause] >> chris: shelby fero. >> ghosting. patrick swayze tops returning my text. >> chris: patton. >> et'ing a dyslexic has dinner. [laughing] >> chris: points. onto our next topic. "kim k: krime detective." kim kardashian tweeted that she just got netflix so she can watch "making a murderer." kim says she a huge true-crime buff. like the double-homicide her dad helped o.j. simpson get away with, for instance. it happens. [ applause ] >> i chose to let it go. chris: but i like to think that pretty soon she'll stop watching true crimes and start solving true crimes. comedians, what's a mystery that kimcyclopedia brown could solve? patton. >> the case of where does the sun go in the night time. >> chris: yes, points. [laughing] >> chris: why does it go away. >> where does it go. that's the end of "rapid refresh." and now it's time for tonight's #hashtagwars. [cheers and applause] >> chris: i'm super excited because "thyou get to see what d is jacked up about. "the x-file
chris: points. [cheers and applause] >> chris: shelby fero. >> ghosting. patrick swayze tops returning my text. >> chris: patton. >> et'ing a dyslexic has dinner. [laughing] >> chris: points. onto our next topic. "kim k: krime detective." kim kardashian tweeted that she just got netflix so she can watch "making a murderer." kim says she a huge true-crime buff. like the double-homicide her dad helped o.j. simpson get away with, for instance. it...
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chris: doug benson. >> i eat bandaids. chris: erica. >> view my podcast. chris: points. i have lost a lot of friends were that one. doug. >> time for murder. [laughing] >> chris: you know i'm just a bit of a murder nerd. points. rory. >> feiri fan club. >> your toes -- chris: rory. >> my [beep] stash. >> shut up. you all have them. >> chris: erica rhodes. >> star wars sucks. chris: no! that's how you lose a friend. >> that's how you lose a friend? chris: she's fine. it's fine. it's fine. [ applause ] >> i [beep] stash. no one cared. you say star wars and guns come out. >> chris: guns. >> chris: that's the end of "hashtag wars." send us your #loseafriendin3words and tag them @midnight to keep the game going. we'll be right back. congratulations to our tweet of the day from yesterday's hashtag the day from yesterday's hashtag war, well played. introducing pizza hut's first $5 flavor menu. just $5 each when you order two or more. can i get pizza for the whole team? you got it mr. cuban! just five bucks each. wings and a hershey's cookie for five bucks each? yes. it's easy t
chris: doug benson. >> i eat bandaids. chris: erica. >> view my podcast. chris: points. i have lost a lot of friends were that one. doug. >> time for murder. [laughing] >> chris: you know i'm just a bit of a murder nerd. points. rory. >> feiri fan club. >> your toes -- chris: rory. >> my [beep] stash. >> shut up. you all have them. >> chris: erica rhodes. >> star wars sucks. chris: no! that's how you lose a friend. >> that's how...
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Jan 15, 2016
01/16
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chris: points. >> anything [beep] anything. [cheers and applause] >> [beep] >> call me derek. hris: onto our next topic. bernie, ben and jerry! ben and jerry are putting their money where your mouth is with a new panderific flavor for their man, bernie sanders! "bernie's yearning," a combination of 90% mint ice cream covered in a 10% shell of chocolate that you have to break up and redistribute yourself [laughing] >> chris: a delicious other signal gee. for our nation's coming class war! comedians, what are some other candidate-inspired ben and jerry's flavors would you like to try? whitney. >> trump crunch. orange sherbert mixed with the tears of russian ex wives. >> chris: points. matthew. >> bengazaberry. i don't know what is in it, someone deleted the ingredients. >> chris: very well done. >> chris: on to our next topic: hillary's dab dance! game: image: trending topics highlight hillary's dab dance! democratic candidate, hillary clinton-- seen here listening to waka flocka for the first time--
chris: points. >> anything [beep] anything. [cheers and applause] >> [beep] >> call me derek. hris: onto our next topic. bernie, ben and jerry! ben and jerry are putting their money where your mouth is with a new panderific flavor for their man, bernie sanders! "bernie's yearning," a combination of 90% mint ice cream covered in a 10% shell of chocolate that you have to break up and redistribute yourself [laughing] >> chris: a delicious other signal gee. for our...
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Jan 19, 2016
01/16
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chris: perfect. ron funches. >> the ball should go to what team is most ready for football. >> chris: are you ready for "@midnight"! [cheers and applause] >> chris: it's time for "@midnight!" i want for you to respond. i'm chris hardwick. tonight's comedians are: from "mythbusters," saturdays on discovery, it's adam savage. [cheers and applause] >> chris: what is happening on mythbusters now, what can people look forward to. >> we crushed a tanker car. we're six episodes from the final episode ever. >> chris: no. >> yes. chris: why would you come on and say that [beep]. these people have to be in a good mood for comedy jokes. you're pushing tankers and their spirit. ron. >> i have a question for you guys. before you finish up. >> are you getting to the myth about the female orgasms. >> chris: oh, no. [cheers and applause] >> yes. >> chris is going to be our test subject. >> chris: ya, ya. right in here, right in here. [laughing] >> i don't understand. >> mist -- [laughing] >> chris: there maybe a khr
chris: perfect. ron funches. >> the ball should go to what team is most ready for football. >> chris: are you ready for "@midnight"! [cheers and applause] >> chris: it's time for "@midnight!" i want for you to respond. i'm chris hardwick. tonight's comedians are: from "mythbusters," saturdays on discovery, it's adam savage. [cheers and applause] >> chris: what is happening on mythbusters now, what can people look forward to. >> we...
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Jan 12, 2016
01/16
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chris: points. brett gelman. >> douche bag onboard. chris: points. that's the end of rapid refresh. and now it's time for tonight's "#hashtagwars." [cheers and alause] happy birthday to amazon c.e.. and lex luthor cosplay champion jeff bezos. [cheers and applause] >> chris: seen here forming a plot to sink california into the sesea. so in honor of the man who internetted books, tonight's hashtag is... #internetabook i'm putting 60 seconds on the clock. starting, now! >> harry potter and the university of phoenix. >> chris: points. feathers in his wand. >> a street car named.com. chris: points. pete hole -pldz. >> lollingoffmoon.com. >> to kill a twitter bird. >> 50 hex codes of gray. chris: genius. >> the top ten commandments of the bible. you won't believe number 4. [laughing] >> chris: points. >> chris: that's the end of "#hashtag wars." send us your #internetabook and tag them @midnight to keep the game going. we'll be right back. our tweet-of-the-day from our last hashtag war was sent to us by @
chris: points. brett gelman. >> douche bag onboard. chris: points. that's the end of rapid refresh. and now it's time for tonight's "#hashtagwars." [cheers and alause] happy birthday to amazon c.e.. and lex luthor cosplay champion jeff bezos. [cheers and applause] >> chris: seen here forming a plot to sink california into the sesea. so in honor of the man who internetted books, tonight's hashtag is... #internetabook i'm putting 60 seconds on the clock. starting, now!...
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four now, chris. [beep] >> chris: oh, we haven't done this to each other. [laughing] >> chris: from the "doug loves movies" podcast, live taping at the neptune theater in seattle january 16th at 4:20, it's doug benson. [cheers and applause] >> chris: all week long. [cheers and applause] >> you know what. chris: what? >> chris, i was thinking in 2017 mark zuckerberg should put a vagina on jarvis. >> chris: things that kids care about. simple computers. >> chris: ripped from today's internet headlines, it's "rapid refresh." >> steam boat captain george rrrr martin said he wouldn't finish until the "game of thrones" aired. his fans are cool with supportive comments uncharacteristic of the internet. "don't sweat it, george." "take as long as you need too, sir." don't have a heart attack, this is all i have left ." >> chris: what is an excuse george rrr martin, from now on that's how he must be referred too. he's the sweetest guy in the world. it's george rrr martin. what is an excuse that george rrr marti
four now, chris. [beep] >> chris: oh, we haven't done this to each other. [laughing] >> chris: from the "doug loves movies" podcast, live taping at the neptune theater in seattle january 16th at 4:20, it's doug benson. [cheers and applause] >> chris: all week long. [cheers and applause] >> you know what. chris: what? >> chris, i was thinking in 2017 mark zuckerberg should put a vagina on jarvis. >> chris: things that kids care about. simple...
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Jan 21, 2016
01/16
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chris: jen. >> gill i am. chris: points. flula. >> mc hammerhead. chris: points. jen. >> ghost face flipper. chris: points. james davis. >> i like hali-but and i can not lie. >> chris: flula. >> straight out of pondton. instead of compton. >> chris: we got it. james. >> more go up he's more problems. >> chris: points. flula. >> the blow hole. chris: yes, points. the rapping. >> pufr fish daddy. chris: points. flula. >> snoop clammy clam. chris: we will give you points for snoop clammy clam. [laughing] >> chris: james. >> cod and play. >> oh, that's good. [cheers and applause] >> chris: that's the end of "hashtag wars." send us your #fishhiphop and tag them @midnight to keep the game going. we'll be back with more "@midnight." our tweet-of-the-day from last night's hashtag war was sent to us by @wing nut71. us by @wing nut71. well done! hey nithanks. today. juicy fruit? sure i'll try a piec.... juicy fruit. so sweet you can't help but chew. what beer we drinkin'? i don't know boss... what about that redd's apple ale? you're a genius, tiny! this apple sauce is the b
chris: jen. >> gill i am. chris: points. flula. >> mc hammerhead. chris: points. jen. >> ghost face flipper. chris: points. james davis. >> i like hali-but and i can not lie. >> chris: flula. >> straight out of pondton. instead of compton. >> chris: we got it. james. >> more go up he's more problems. >> chris: points. flula. >> the blow hole. chris: yes, points. the rapping. >> pufr fish daddy. chris: points. flula. >>...
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Jan 13, 2016
01/16
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chris: amazing. points. >> james and the giant impeachment. >> chris: points. >> diary of a mad black president. >> chris: points. >> bush did nine and a half weeks. >> chris: paul. >> woodroson of the mask. chris: points. joe. >> puddy task. [laughin >> thank you. [cheers and applause] >> madiaz airforce one. chris: hodgman. >> the assassination of jfk by the pope, cuba and lady -- >> chris: points. >> precious based on the novel bush -- >> chris: that's the end of >> chris: that's the end of #hashtagwars. ♪ (cell phone rings) where are you? well the squirrels are back in the attic. mom? your dad won't call an exterminator... can i call you back, mom? he says it's personal this time... if you're a mom, you call at the worst time. it's what you do. if you want to save fifteen percent or more on car insurance, you switch to geico. it's what you do. where are you? it's very loud there. are you taking a zumba class? ♪ ♪ those who define sophistication stand out. those who dare to redefine it stand
chris: amazing. points. >> james and the giant impeachment. >> chris: points. >> diary of a mad black president. >> chris: points. >> bush did nine and a half weeks. >> chris: paul. >> woodroson of the mask. chris: points. joe. >> puddy task. [laughin >> thank you. [cheers and applause] >> madiaz airforce one. chris: hodgman. >> the assassination of jfk by the pope, cuba and lady -- >> chris: points. >> precious based...
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Jan 9, 2016
01/16
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BLOOMBERG
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chris: in silicon valley? emily: yes. chris: yes. it is kind of inevitable that the funders putting this money to work will not see it all back. emily: are we in a bubble? is the bubble going to pop? chris: there are multiple ways to define that bubble. emily: yes or no? chris: yes, a lot of these companies are going to go away. there will be impacts for real estate. do i think it'll be like 2000, when you can't get a u-haul because they are gone all one way out of town, no, i don't think so because this is the epicenter of innovation, just out of whack right now. emily: what you think is the biggest problem in silicon valley that is not being talked about now? chris: there is nobody normal left here anymore. all of the actual, normal, regular people have been priced out. the artists cannot live here anymore. the musicians cannot live here. you do not even meet nurses -- or doctors, frankly, who can afford this city. that is messed up. i think the biggest problem here is computer science programs are so lucrative now, that kids do no
chris: in silicon valley? emily: yes. chris: yes. it is kind of inevitable that the funders putting this money to work will not see it all back. emily: are we in a bubble? is the bubble going to pop? chris: there are multiple ways to define that bubble. emily: yes or no? chris: yes, a lot of these companies are going to go away. there will be impacts for real estate. do i think it'll be like 2000, when you can't get a u-haul because they are gone all one way out of town, no, i don't think so...
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Jan 22, 2016
01/16
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COM
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>> chris: points. erin. >> so are you your own con dom? >> chris: points. finally, we'll see what man's best friend can do. >> sometimes the dog goes behind you, he can lose control. (applause). >> chris: sometimes you got to-- i couldn't go in front of that many people. i would not-- comedians what is this breed of dog? jordan. >> a german sex hound. >> chris: points. bryan. >> pooo-dle. >> chris: points. next erin. >> that is a turd russell terrier. >> chris: yeah, points. that brings us to the end of talent no. time for our live challenge booger sugar. morning talk shows are hard, fast paisd, live on the air, you are probably exhausted because you start so early. one celebrity chef on a slof akian chat show has a unique solution to off the stresses that come with the job. >> so i done know if you saw that, he has a secret ingredient, did you see that? that is to make him a fast-vakian. (applause) now the network claims it was just a joke, i guess it's possible he just chopped up flour into a pile with a credit card and adds it to his mixture to roll up w
>> chris: points. erin. >> so are you your own con dom? >> chris: points. finally, we'll see what man's best friend can do. >> sometimes the dog goes behind you, he can lose control. (applause). >> chris: sometimes you got to-- i couldn't go in front of that many people. i would not-- comedians what is this breed of dog? jordan. >> a german sex hound. >> chris: points. bryan. >> pooo-dle. >> chris: points. next erin. >> that is a turd...
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Jan 22, 2016
01/16
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WYFF
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chris: greenwood down to 29. maybe they have a false sense of security that you can get on those roadways, and with temperatures like that, what falls will be freezing on contact, and what is there will be freezjohn: watch out for black ice. even if you just had rain, that is going to re-freeze. snow showers a little bit later on, but some good news in the forecast later on, and we will tell you about it. michael: a long day, gentlemen, and the scene of a house fire with the dispatchers tell us firefighters told themstarted with live wires falling on that helmet. no one is hurt. this apparently started around 5:30 tonight, and speaking of the power lines, this was just in greenville county. nearly 2000 in pickens county, nearly 500 in anderson county. carol: more than 1000 outages in greenville county, 520 in oconee, and in anderson county, power. certainly has received the brunt of t snowfall today. carol: let's check in with myra myra: this rant, a very popular place to be, because we have the outlet mall, mult
chris: greenwood down to 29. maybe they have a false sense of security that you can get on those roadways, and with temperatures like that, what falls will be freezing on contact, and what is there will be freezjohn: watch out for black ice. even if you just had rain, that is going to re-freeze. snow showers a little bit later on, but some good news in the forecast later on, and we will tell you about it. michael: a long day, gentlemen, and the scene of a house fire with the dispatchers tell us...
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Jan 14, 2016
01/16
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COM
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. >> chris: points. chelsea. >> i will let you put it in my orifice that must not be named. >> chris: adam. >> i may have a big beaters bat, aoeupblg still sure i can slither into your chamber of secrets. >> chris: well done. [ applause ] >> chris: the important question is do you speak parsil tongue. >> chris: on to our next topic. militia care packages! the group of armed bumpkins camped out in an oregon birdhouse have been getting care packages from around the country, and one oaf who swore an oath posted a facebook video itemizing their provisions. he swore he was just protecting the constitution. that's why he's not going to be around much. instead of taking care of his kids he's sifting through garbage. what did they send him? a.) a subscription to cat fancy. b.) a bag of dicks. c.) a music box filled with bird [beep] >> i know it's dick. >> dick, dick, dick! audience: dick, dick, dick! chris: well done. >> a bag of dicks. chris: ya. [ applause ] >> chris: honestly the last thing they need is tiny
. >> chris: points. chelsea. >> i will let you put it in my orifice that must not be named. >> chris: adam. >> i may have a big beaters bat, aoeupblg still sure i can slither into your chamber of secrets. >> chris: well done. [ applause ] >> chris: the important question is do you speak parsil tongue. >> chris: on to our next topic. militia care packages! the group of armed bumpkins camped out in an oregon birdhouse have been getting care packages from...
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Jan 10, 2016
01/16
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WESH
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chris: chris: the event was organized by the wounded warrior project. you may fallout of your bet if you have not heard about the plenty of people thought it was up to the billions. even the lottery officials had no idea. the capture of el chapo just got even more hollywood. how actor sean penn factors into the drama. dave: a cold front working its way down the florida peninsula. it will become quite breezy and id this is wesh 2 news sunrise in high definition. chris: breaking news. jaw-dropping jackpot. no one hit it big last night, and the new number will likely make you gasp. and the coast guard could be back out searching the indian river lagoon in volusia county this morning. why they' re not sure if anyone is missing at all. good morning. i' m chris hush. we will have those stories and just a bit. but first, first alert meteorologist dave cocchiarella is joining us now. dave: to the south of us, just zipping along. the sun is up, but the clouds are still down over downtown orlando right now. 59 degrees and quite cloudy out there. we have had misty
chris: chris: the event was organized by the wounded warrior project. you may fallout of your bet if you have not heard about the plenty of people thought it was up to the billions. even the lottery officials had no idea. the capture of el chapo just got even more hollywood. how actor sean penn factors into the drama. dave: a cold front working its way down the florida peninsula. it will become quite breezy and id this is wesh 2 news sunrise in high definition. chris: breaking news....
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Jan 17, 2016
01/16
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WHDH
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: i'm chris anderson. let's get a check of the forecast >> bri: hard to believe. beautiful sunrise but we will be losing the sunshine as we head through the next couple of hours you can see the clouds pushing in. that is in response to a system which for the most part heads out to sea. current temperatures in the low 29 in worcester and 29 in boston. with the clouds moving in, that will put a stop on temperatures and they will hold steady. couple of spots we are watching here the first in the south. as we run through the timeline you see the first system mostly out to sea but also bringing snow showers and then arctic front pushes through for us bringing more snow showers as well. through tomorrow morning, here is what i'm thinking a coating to an inch or maybe nothing. heavier amounts one to two inches through the middle cape. we'll cover this in more detail >>> they are back for the 5th consecutive year the patriots are going to the afc championship after hammering the chiefs. the pats are one game away
: i'm chris anderson. let's get a check of the forecast >> bri: hard to believe. beautiful sunrise but we will be losing the sunshine as we head through the next couple of hours you can see the clouds pushing in. that is in response to a system which for the most part heads out to sea. current temperatures in the low 29 in worcester and 29 in boston. with the clouds moving in, that will put a stop on temperatures and they will hold steady. couple of spots we are watching here the first in...
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Jan 3, 2016
01/16
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KGAN
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chris papst, from our affiliate wjla, has our report. chris: matty was carrie reid's beloved horse. now she's having a difficult -- she cannot forgive herself knowing that he is never coming home. carrie: i'll probably li with th guilt for the rest of my life. chris: following neck surgeryy last year, reid temporarily placed the 20-year-old carrie: i thought he'd be safe and he was safe with me. chris: as reid's health improved, she began the process to bring matty home. then, the news broke -- 81 horses seized from peaceable farm in somerset, virginia -- seven found dead, nine more euthanized -- including matty, the horse on the right. carrie: my h hse was locked in a stall. he was not given water or food for i don't know how long. chris: peaceable farm is a horse rescue registered as a nonprofit charity known as a 501c3 with up donations. owner ann goland ran farms in virginia and maryland. but over the summer, she moved all her horses, including matty, to virginia, where some say the protections are looser. lindsay reames disagrees. you believe the laws in virginia do protect ani
chris papst, from our affiliate wjla, has our report. chris: matty was carrie reid's beloved horse. now she's having a difficult -- she cannot forgive herself knowing that he is never coming home. carrie: i'll probably li with th guilt for the rest of my life. chris: following neck surgeryy last year, reid temporarily placed the 20-year-old carrie: i thought he'd be safe and he was safe with me. chris: as reid's health improved, she began the process to bring matty home. then, the news broke --...
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Jan 29, 2016
01/16
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KLAS
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chris maathuis may have an answer. ((chris maathuis)) if the nfl said to vegas, get rid of would bettors make that trade... could las vegas afford that tradeoff. interesting take coming up. > plus... the prop bet book is out... 27 pages of proposition bets tell us there's something for everyone. more next here on 8 news now. "from 8 news now, this is sports ((chris maathuis)) earlier in this newscast we reported the oakland raiders are in las vegas to discuss a stadium proposal with las vegas sands. a meeting is taking place tomorrow. if sheldon adelson and his group are actually able to pull off something this big.. and it involves the nfl in las vegas.. he'd instantly be revered by millions as a miracle worker. i caught up with westgate sports book director jay kornegay and asked him if he'd like to see the nfl in vegas. he's probably speaking for many in the industry, when he said, 'sure' but on one condition. jay kornegay/westgat e sportsbook director: (("but i'd certainly be concerned if they were to entertain the
chris maathuis may have an answer. ((chris maathuis)) if the nfl said to vegas, get rid of would bettors make that trade... could las vegas afford that tradeoff. interesting take coming up. > plus... the prop bet book is out... 27 pages of proposition bets tell us there's something for everyone. more next here on 8 news now. "from 8 news now, this is sports ((chris maathuis)) earlier in this newscast we reported the oakland raiders are in las vegas to discuss a stadium proposal with las...
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Jan 24, 2016
01/16
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KDSM
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chris pabst. ahead on "full measure" when authorities arrestnd the infamous escaped mexican cartel we'll tell you what they found. sharyl: this week officials revealed that a .50 caliber rifle und at the stronghold of mexican cartel leader el chapo guzman came from fast and furious. that was the covert justice department operation that let thousands of weapons fall into the hands of mexican drug cartels. in a related development, a federal judge has rejected idpresident obama's use of executive privilege to withhold and ordered them handed over to congress. i and other reporters have sought the records for five years. they include internal emails showing who's behind the justice department's false claim to congress that there was no gunwalking the agency later admitted it was true. in 2012, the house held then-attorney general eric holder in contempt for withholding the records. the president kept them secret through his one and only use of executive privilege. the obama administration reportedly
chris pabst. ahead on "full measure" when authorities arrestnd the infamous escaped mexican cartel we'll tell you what they found. sharyl: this week officials revealed that a .50 caliber rifle und at the stronghold of mexican cartel leader el chapo guzman came from fast and furious. that was the covert justice department operation that let thousands of weapons fall into the hands of mexican drug cartels. in a related development, a federal judge has rejected idpresident obama's use of...
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Jan 3, 2016
01/16
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WLOS
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chris: so what happened in this case? reames helps writete virginia's animal laws for the virginia farm bureau. lindsay: the current animal care standards are strong and comprehensive. unfortunately, something went wrong at the local level. chris: but something is going wrong in many states, according to ratemyhorsepro.com -- the site is sort of a "consumer's report" for all things equine. in 2015, rate my horse pro covered eight horse rescue cases after the founders allegedly starved horses they were taske with saving. it happened across five states. all were non-profits -- or were claiming to be. debbie hanson, spokesperson for cases are only the ones they know about. debbie: it can be very difficult for law enforcement or local theiarea. there's no national registry, there's no state registry. so, usually people hear of rescues through word of mouth and social media. chris: and hanson says when authorities do act, it's a daunting task. debbie: they may show up at a farm and he to remove 20, 50 horses. what do you do? w
chris: so what happened in this case? reames helps writete virginia's animal laws for the virginia farm bureau. lindsay: the current animal care standards are strong and comprehensive. unfortunately, something went wrong at the local level. chris: but something is going wrong in many states, according to ratemyhorsepro.com -- the site is sort of a "consumer's report" for all things equine. in 2015, rate my horse pro covered eight horse rescue cases after the founders allegedly starved...
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Jan 22, 2016
01/16
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WYFF
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chris: another system. john: exactly. capital, long island, new york, they are going to get hammered by snow and blowing snow. icy conditions, maybe one to four inches of snow. tomorrow, we can expect scattered snow showers, breezy and cool, only upper 20's in the mountains with blowing and drifting snow, and then finally some good news, chris. look at that sunday. chris: you panthers are playing at bank of america stadium on the nahow is it looking bear? john: it will be chilly but dry. finally some good news to talk about. then he flipped, and worked with liberal chuck schumer to co-author the path to citizenship bill. he threatened to vote against it. and then voted for it. he supported his own dream act and then he abandoned it. marco rubio. just another washington politician you can't trust. jeb bush. he's a leader, so you always know where he stands. right to rise usa nation's capital, in what could nigel: right now, snow is which gabrielle: aixa diaz has the story. aixa: forecasters say we could hours. aixa: it cou
chris: another system. john: exactly. capital, long island, new york, they are going to get hammered by snow and blowing snow. icy conditions, maybe one to four inches of snow. tomorrow, we can expect scattered snow showers, breezy and cool, only upper 20's in the mountains with blowing and drifting snow, and then finally some good news, chris. look at that sunday. chris: you panthers are playing at bank of america stadium on the nahow is it looking bear? john: it will be chilly but dry....
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Jan 22, 2016
01/16
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WYFF
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chris: -- your math. chris: i am trying. as well. john: and, you folks, oconee county, seneca, moving through clemson, as mandy was showing, to pickens. chris: and putting a track on it, easily at 5:48. travelers rest, same story. greenville, shortly after 6:00. we could see some pretty good snowflakes. john: and probably mixed with some sleet, and then the upper level low will kick in here. look at these temperatures.this was after last night, and that we just continued to drop and dropt wind undercutting that moisture coming out of the gulf of mewe just continued to go down to this is one of our more reliable models. it has done a very good job. chris: it has, and it is sending in that cold air. the wind to the north/northwest, it will will be atmosphere from the top to the bottom, and we showers out of this this evening. john: yes, probably four inches in the mountains, and you snow lovers, you are loving this forecast. then as we go through late tonight, this is actually saturday morning, things kind of quiet down, the northwest
chris: -- your math. chris: i am trying. as well. john: and, you folks, oconee county, seneca, moving through clemson, as mandy was showing, to pickens. chris: and putting a track on it, easily at 5:48. travelers rest, same story. greenville, shortly after 6:00. we could see some pretty good snowflakes. john: and probably mixed with some sleet, and then the upper level low will kick in here. look at these temperatures.this was after last night, and that we just continued to drop and dropt wind...
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Jan 23, 2016
01/16
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KCAU
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chris: happy friday everybody and welcome in to another edition sportszone, walker, i'm chris palmquist and what a bunch of lined up for you. alex that's right, we'll check out action from norfolk, mapleton, and onawa...we'll find out whether east could sweep heelan this season and we'll see if the muskies could win their third straight, but we start with the game of the night in all of iowa. chris: they don't get much better than fourth ranked spirit lake taking on number one western christian. back in december, the wolfpack dominated the indians, winning by 30 on the road. chris: would it be more of the same tonight or could spirit lake return the favor? early on...spirit lake's billy brown...he's heading to north dakota because he can do this...that ties it up early. but taylor miedema...he blows by his defender on the other end...wolfpack go up four. the indians respond with the iowa commit, ryan kriener...hoop and the hack...spirit lake within two. then jake heitritter...open in the corner, he take the lead. but here comes the wolfpack...tyson kooima answers with a three pointer of
chris: happy friday everybody and welcome in to another edition sportszone, walker, i'm chris palmquist and what a bunch of lined up for you. alex that's right, we'll check out action from norfolk, mapleton, and onawa...we'll find out whether east could sweep heelan this season and we'll see if the muskies could win their third straight, but we start with the game of the night in all of iowa. chris: they don't get much better than fourth ranked spirit lake taking on number one western...
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Jan 20, 2016
01/16
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WKYC
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>> chris rock is under pressure to bow out as the host. >> chris rock is in a no-win >> from chris rock to the academy president, the pressure is on. >> what is going on here? >> we'll explain what is being done now as stars speak out. >> i can only play so many gang leaders. >> then -- here i am ise the funeral for celine dion's husband. plus, jamie foxx to the rescue. how the oscar winner saved a driver from a burning car. >> vehicle on fire. >> and -- >>. you can't hide >> remembering glenn frey. our time with the eagles and the actor. >> the best new drama series in television. i'm one lucky dog, folks. >> wait so many hours and i'm a memory. >> now in our 35th season this is entertainment tonight. >> some of hollywood's biggest stars walk away from the oscars? we're at a major tipping point. it may be an oscars you've never seen before. >> i hear you. yesterday spike lee and jada pinkett smith began leading the charge to boycott oscars because of a lack of diversity. >> more industry leaders are weighing in. >> i was on cbs this morning discussing the issue. and all of this really
>> chris rock is under pressure to bow out as the host. >> chris rock is in a no-win >> from chris rock to the academy president, the pressure is on. >> what is going on here? >> we'll explain what is being done now as stars speak out. >> i can only play so many gang leaders. >> then -- here i am ise the funeral for celine dion's husband. plus, jamie foxx to the rescue. how the oscar winner saved a driver from a burning car. >> vehicle on fire....
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Jan 2, 2016
01/16
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WYFF
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wyff news 4 meteorologist chris chris, how cold are we talking? it was definitely chillier today . chris: i think it is fair to label this cool. next tuesday is going to be cold as well. wait until you see that forecast. nonetheless, this is cold compared what we have dealt with lately. record-breaking december is no more. we are in january and it is chilly. 36 in boone. 41 in asheville. 47 in greenville. over the next few hours, nothing but clear skies. if you're heading downtown, temperature schools the over 30's. in asheville, clear skies. quickly heading to the lower 30's. eventually the 20's. a huge cold blast comes in on monday. i will detail that for you coming up in the full weather. patrick: people who suffered damage in october's massive floods have two days left to request federal help. the deadline to apply for fema aid ends monday january 4. the fema aids available in 24 , including greenville, spartanburg, and greenwood counties. again, this deadline is for damage from october's record flooding, not damage caused by this week's heavy rains. the flood that inundated pa
wyff news 4 meteorologist chris chris, how cold are we talking? it was definitely chillier today . chris: i think it is fair to label this cool. next tuesday is going to be cold as well. wait until you see that forecast. nonetheless, this is cold compared what we have dealt with lately. record-breaking december is no more. we are in january and it is chilly. 36 in boone. 41 in asheville. 47 in greenville. over the next few hours, nothing but clear skies. if you're heading downtown, temperature...