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tv   Piers Morgan Tonight  CNN  January 17, 2012 3:00am-4:00am EST

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together and all need to get out of it together. tomorrow, congress comes back from recess. are they ready to get something done? later this week, out front to south carolina, ahead of the country's primary. what better way to mark my first anniversary than to bring back my favorite guest, the lovely chelsea handler. >> your producers called me and i will be asking the questions tonight, mr. morgan. >> do you remember bumping me? >> yes. >> i will be turning the tables over for your first anniversary twist. how many times have you been properly in love. >> i'm a british gentleman. we don't talk about sex and love. >> you will have to answer all my questions. >> what about condi rice and you offering to cook her gumbo? how much are you worth? if you could relive five minutes of your life, what would they be? >> i thought you might ask me that.
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my first year as piers morgan and one-on-one with my interviewer, chelsea sea handler. >> happy first anniversary, piers morgan. >> thank you. >> congratulations on a very commendable year so far. >> commendable. that was a very delicate choice of words. >> i'm a delicate lady, as you may know. we wanted to turn the tables on you because we wanted to go over and see what your thoughts are on some of your performances, some of your questions. let's start by letting everybody know how this show came to be. because initially, you weren't supposed to be a live breaking news show, correct? >> initially, i'd do a show back in the uk called "life stories" a more auto-biographical hour-long interview with one guest. that was kind of what we thought we would be doing mostly. >> more like barbara walters one hour special. >> and more like my predecessor,
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the great larry did these longer interviews, that kind of thing we had in mind of being the bedrock of the show. of course, everything change very, very quickly. >> you basically came back from your taping an oprah interview and you came back from the oprah interview and were on a plane and found out you would have to do live breaking news on your show? >> i was in new york and oprah invited me to come on her show. >> are you sure you didn't invite yourself on her show? >> i was desperate and she listened to this desperate brit, come to chicago. i got on a plane at 6:00 a.m. she tapes in the morning in chicago. had a great time. said good-bye. got on a plane to l.a. we had no internet on the plane, my producer, jonathan and i, sitting reading celebrity magazines and thinking about this interview for cnn. and when we landed, all hell had broken loose in egypt.
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my blackberries were going crazy. i got the word from jonathan, we're going live in three hours. >> good evening, it's been a day of quite extraordinary turmoil and tension around the world. we're covering this across egypt, alexandra to cairo and washington and new york. i said, this is a good time to tell you, i've never actually anchored an hour of live breaking news and jonathan himself the today show and "nightly news" looking at me, is he joking? >> i'm live from a city that suffered numerous earthquakes but never any as big as the one that struck japan yesterday. >> president obama and the first lady are hosting a group of congressional leaders in the east room of the white house. a few moments ago, he had this to say about the successful mission -- >> for 42 years, gadhafi ruled through fear, torture and terror. tonight, not just libya, but the world is a safer place.
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>> i would have to say you sound like you know kind of what you're doing. >> anderson cooper in cairo tonight. what is the mood as we lead up to this march. >> you made -- it was a nice way to get into breaking news. how did you feel about it? >> i spent my life back in britain as a journalist involved with breaking news. it was no difficulty for me to report on this. the only thing i wasn't sure, could i actually anchor a cnn breaking news hour over these momentous times because it's really important to the brand of cnn i could do that job properly, as larry king had done for 25 years when he had to. i found it exhilarating, slightly terrifying. what you found and i found very quickly, you have this extraordinary team of people that work at cnn. they have the greatest number of bureaus overseas. they have the best anchors, best foreign correspondents and most incredible resources. suddenly, i was aware of the power of cnn around the world. there was no network like it
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when a big story breaks. we could go anywhere. in taher square, in iraq, very few netted works others were. that kind of power was exhilarating to see, yes, we're number one at this. >> let's talk about some world leaders you sat down with over the past year because that's a mind blowing experience no matter what your background is even though you claim to be a serious journalist before you came to cnn. what about netanyahu. >> i got this call, do you want to go to israel and interview netanyahu who's been interviewed by the greatest in the world. it's great pressure, you only get an hour, going a long ways, cost a lot of money and a lot of people to watch this. it was the first one he did after the arab spring broke. i was nervous and excited and thought this could be a moment for me and the show establishing political credentials interviewing.
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for me, politics is a great phrase, politics is "showbiz" for ugly people. i thought, it's the same thing. show business, royalty, politics, news, in the end, we're dealing with human beings. they may be politicians, singers, artists, in the end, what i do, interview with people is get to the truth somehow, get to what they're really like, forever i'm doing you or evening man netanyahu. >> you will never be doing me. >> in your dreams. >> how do you think your interview went with netanyahu? did you watch your own interview? >> of course. >> what is your nightmare scenario? >> we don't want to see this starks medievalism that rolls us back a millennium, fosters violence and does everything we abhor that it would take over. i think these are the two polls.
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one is real democratic change, the other is a dissent to militant islamism that squashes all freedoms and threatens the peace of everyone. >> what did you think of your performance? >> i found him to be incredibly impressive. a guy polarizing in public opinion. like him or hate him. an incredibly difficult job to be prime minister when there's so much turmoil in the middle east and keep a lid on tensions around you. he did a very impressive thing for me, i thought, took me over to this map he has behind his desk and he showed me the scale of the countries in the middle east, saudi arabia, iraq, afghanistan, egypt and his hands were getting bigger and bigger as he went around this huge country. watch this, took his thumb and put a thumb print of israel right in the middle of all these huge countries. he said, that is my problem. there it was, this thumbprint, this tiny, tiny expanse of land
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surrounded by -- as was at the time, a lot of warring factions all around them, endangering potentially the lives of his people. a tough job and a tough man. >> did you like him? >> i did like him. i thought he was an impressive character. i thought he had the hand of history on his shoulder and he felt it very keenly. he had been prime minister before, hadn't found peace with the palestinians and had a second chances now. there's a big pressure on him to do that deal now and he knows it. >> what about colin powell? >> colin powell is a remarkable man. my brother is a british army general and he was very excited about colin powell of all i have done. to soldiers, this guy was a hero. >> one of the things that troubles me the most, i've been in this town on and off the last 30 odd years. what troubles me the most, i've never seen such polarization in this political process. i have never seen a situation where you have people on the far left and far right who focus on
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their own extreme positions and hold these as theological positions that can't be moved away from and changed and everybody is measured against these extremes. >> a thoroughly decent man and soldier and someone who always put public service before himself, a pretty rare commodity. >> what about condi rice and you offering to cook her gumbo. >> i didn't know what gumbo was. >> do you want me to cook you gumbo? is this a weird chat-up line? i like condi rice. >> you like women because flirt with women. >> you flirt with men. >> that's my thing as an interviewer. >> why can't it be my thing, too. >> are you aware of it and self-recognition. you do use that as a tool to any woman that's on. i don't think you will be going on a date any time soon so flirt flirting seems shallow. >> i thought she responded very well with flirting.
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she had not been interviewed before. people were terrified of her. i found her to be -- >> super horny. >> surprisingly attractive and surprisingly playful. >> a lot of people -- i won't mention any names because these are very, very inside sources think you're getting off fairly ea because of it being an election year and of all the different characters that you get to assail or actually have on the show, and act like you're friends with them for an hour. so let's talk about some of your favorites. i know i have mine. i'm very curious to see what it's like to set across from newt gingrich to herman cain to rick santorum. let's discuss some of your favorites. where would you like to begin? >> some of them were impressive people i've met actually turned out not to run for president i thought was a shame. people like chris christie i spent the day with in new jersey. i found him incredibly impressive. part of what we didn't air, he
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and i shared a car journey for an hour and he told me about his time as a prosecutor. he never lost an x-rays, took on the mafia, -- never lost a case. took on the mafia, drug gangs, every nasty part of society you can imagine. he never lost a case. i thought, that is some record, some record. if he was a boxer, he would be the greatest boxer of all time. i think america needs people like him at a high level in public office. i was a bit disappointed when he decided not to run. i understood the reasons, thinks it's too young, young family. >> your party is crying out for a savior, somebody they think has youthful energy and dynamism to combat that strength in obama and a good track record. when i look at all the checklists there aren't many names on it right now that tick the right boxes for the republicans. you tick most of those boxes. >> you know what, those are all, i think, appropriate and maybe accurate tactical judgments.
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that's not the way i'm making this decision. i'm making this decision based on whether i believe in my heart i'm ready to be president of the united states and that i want to be president of the united states right now. >> i know that you bite your tongue a lot in politics when you're talking politics and you have to because you are thought of in quotes as a newsperson. but you like to ask everybody what they think of obama. i would love to know -- let's show a clip of you asking all the different celebrities you ask about obama and then i'll ask you about obama. >> okay. >> are you happy with the way obama has been running the country? are you a fan? >> no. >> no? >> no. >> certainly a majority, in my view, would love him, to stick a metaphorical bloody nose on his opponents. >> now, you do, now you see how hard he's trying and how hard they have fought against him, yes, that's what we all want to see and he's going to do it. >> has he disappointed, you obama? >> i'm disappointed that we
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haven't seen more bold decisions from him. >> how's he doing, the half white guy? >> i'm still rooting for the black president. i think he's doing a great job. >> how do you think he's doing? >> that is a tough question. >> thank you for asking heidi klum about obama since she's -- >> why shouldn't i ask heidi klum. >> since she's german and a supermodel. >> are you american yet? >> no. >> she's an american citizen, why shouldn't i ask her? >> you can ask her but an odd choice? >> i think it's really pompous when people say you can only ask politicians or serious people. >> you're exactly right, you can ask anybody. it does throw everybody off. i would like to ask you what your thoughts on obama are. >> like everybody else, i was enthralled when he came to office, he won the presidential race. i remember seeing him at the beverly wilshire hotel one night about six weeks before he won the election.
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i had never seen him in the flesh. there was a fund-raiser for him and about 1,000 people waiting in the valet parking area to get a glimpse of this guy. all this hype and he got out of the car and looked like a political rock star and flashed the grin and they went crazy, i thought, this guy is the real deal, a kennedy-esque politician, he knows how to milk a crowd and be charming and flash a smile. the big question when he got elected, would he actually be any good as president. i think if you're being fair and balanced and assess what he's done. he inherited one of the biggest hospital passes of any president in history and done an okay job and what he's done with the car industry to revive it. big tick in the box. what i would say, he's beginning to show more of the strength of character his supporters believe he had to start with perhaps he shied away from when he first got in office. he was a bit weak with
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republicans, a bit too keen to be mr. nice guy. i think he realizes that. a tougher obama. he's aged before us, his hair's gone grey and shows the pressure that goes with this office. it will be a fascinating race this year, whether it's mitt romney, whether it's newt gingrich, whether it's rick santorum, whenever takes him on, it will be a very tough battle. what you will see is obama, president president obama rising up and becoming that guy that got himself elected again, a different guy than we see in the white house. >> at that point, i hope he comes on and does your show. we will take a break and i will ask you a question and not let you answer it. here's the question. when you were covering the royal wedding, how painful was it to sit next to anderson cooper for that many hours. >> it was a joy for anderson. >> while you're thinking about that, here's a look at you tebowing. >> this.
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to sum up the whole day, the monarchy is back. the british monarchy, that's bean on the ropes the last 10, 15 years, we're seeing with this occasion, widespread jubilation, not just here, but seeing scenes all over the world, people watching this, 2 billion people joining in this celebration. >> why don't you tell us about
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your experience at the royal wedding. i know you were there with your close friend, anderson coop sneer i don't think he was that into the royal wedding but as it went on, anderson wilted into the sheer pressure of the event and a million people came up with a line of policemen in front and in front of them, the royal household cavalry with the stunning silver and like a throwback to perform and pageantry and great tradition no other country in the world can do. even anderson was slightly moved by that because it was so damn exciting, the one thing in the world the brits can do better than any else. >> i would agree with that. you guys are, thumbprints on royal weddings, a nice parallel. completely different circumstances. >> people say, why the royal wedding? who cares about the royal family anymore?
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on that day, the sun was shining, unusually beautiful spring day, i think everyone realized what the royals really give the world are a bit of escapism. for that one day, they gave everybody a little bit of tonic, the world is crush, wars all over the place, financial upheaval. turn on the television and have a moment of, isn't life great? >> have you had them on the show yet? >> i haven't yet but the invitation replay ins extended to them. i'd love to talk to them. let's cross the pond and talk about american royalty. move over to the kardashians and i know a wedding you were not invited to. and kim was on the show, right? >> i had both kim, courtney and their mother. >> i know kris jenner was on this show talking about their marriage and everything was going fine three weeks prior to the breakup? right? >> we taped it. in the time it took her to say everything is break, don't
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believe the rumors, by the time it aired they had split up. >> does that [ bleep ] you off? >> not really. the kardashians are celebrities. in their own way, they are a phenomenon as big as anything. kim kardashian has made repeatedly up to $100 million for no discernable talent at all. when i met her, i saw a nice girl, very hard working on the day, did exactly what we asked her to do. she was charming, she was polite, well mannered. she had this very fixed idea of how her brand was going to work and it was making her loads of money. yes, we can be churlish, cynical about it but she is a creation of the times, creation of the modern age where andy warhol's big thing, everyone will be famous in 15 minutes, she's the personification of that. >> i bring it up because you have a lot of people on the show who claim to be okay in their marriage or relationship or whatever it is going on and moments later it can switch and
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this is hollywood. that is par for the course. another example is demi and ashton were on and that was months before it unfurled. what did you think of demi and ashton? did you feel like they were putting on a show and that their marriage was going to fall apart? >> no. i spent some time in las vegas and thought they were happily in love. they spent five years together. what i learned about this job, never be surprised and never be too judgmental when a marriage breaks up. know one knows what goes on behind closed doors. that's different than when i was a newspaper reporter. you kind of have to be judgmental and get excited. the reality is 1 in 3 marriages splits up. why should celebrities be any different? >> what marriage are you on now? your second? >> my last.
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are you auditioning? >> i'm not auditioning. >> every time you're on you have been outrageously flirtatious with me. >> it would be an offer rejected by me. coming up on your show, something i should have done, the big piers morgan walk-off. i want to know why didn't i get a cutout like the kardashians? so who ordered the cereal that can help lower cholesterol and who ordered the yummy cereal? yummy. [ woman ] lower cholesterol. [ man 2 ] yummy. i got that wrong didn't i? [ male announcer ] want great taste and whole grain oats that can help lower cholesterol? honey nut cheerios.
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are we off? are we done? >> i'm not. i'm still here. >> well -- >> it would appear the interview has just been ended. are you under the influence right now of any substances? >> nothing. i'm under the influence of you. you. >> that might not be the best influence. >> i'll take it. i'll take it. >> a lot of people attacked you for being too nice to charlie sheen, by the way i was bumped for. do you remember bumping me for charlie sheen. >> one of my favorite interviews of the year. >> my favorite, too. >> i was very excited because i didn't want to come here in the first place. >> you were overexcited and then crushingly disappointed. >> why were you so nice to him? >> i like charlie sheen.
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i interviewed him 20 years ago, hadn't seen him since. probably the most dramatic day i had in cnn, turned up with five minutes to spare, we had no plan b. promised me he would show and got out of this limousine in l.a. with a weird entourage and said, man, relax, we'll go rock 'n roll. he did that for an hour. >> do you think he was high while you were interviewing him? >> he pulled out this drugs test report he had showed he was clean. about three segments later in one of the commercial breaks. he sign id it for me, to piers, let's get hammered, charlie. i laughed. charlie sheen can lead his life any way he sees fit. >> i want to talk about christine o'donnell walking out on you. it was satellite. she didn't do it in person, over the television. >> it was bizarre. she came on to promote her book and when she talked about all these things in her life, scandals she had been through
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and controversies. when i began to ask her about them in detail, she looked completely affronted. i was like, no offense, love, you're here to sell this book, i'm asking you about stuff in your book, and you're a politician. what is this problem here? >> i think you're absolutely right on that point. i think there are some questions you asked where you do push and push the person. i know i've been a victim of it. >> you poor little asian flower. >> look at me, i'm a shell of what i was. >> really. i'm so sorry. >> let's look at a clip of some of hijinks. >> i'm not in the 1%. >> probably 2%. you're one of the most successful film makers. for a documentary filmmaker i do well. >> now, you're splitting hair. >> that's not what i'm asking you, i'm only asking you as his attorney for some factual evidence which may well help your client. you still haven't answered me as
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to how much money, how he paid the money and how often he paid it and when the payments first started. do you know the answers? >> thank you. i do know the answers and it's not my place to come on to your show- >> what are you worth? >> i don't know. >> yes, due. >> no, i don't know. >> you're one of those people that knows exactly how much you're worth. >> i don't know how much i'm worth. >> you're a ruthless business machine. >> i am worthless. >> any can find out how much money i make. >> how? >> just, they can. why are you -- shut-up, just shut-up. >> how do you think larry king would have handled the situation, like any of those? >> in the graceful brilliant way he did with every situation for 25 years, one of my heroes. >> what do you think about larry king? one of your heroes? >> he was. i watched him for 25 years, he was an institution. part of coming here, he was a legend, like phil donahue. it must have been quite a moment
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to take over for larry king, a guy who did 7,000 shows in 25 years and part of the fabric of america. one thing i'm pleased about, we got to the end of the first year and finally people aren't constantly cam pairing my show to larry's. they're different shows and we have different interview styles. that was a real hurdle to get over. he's just, as i say, a legend. >> you have some similarities to larry king. due like to interrupt a lot. you do have that going for you. >> if they start being boring or on view interrupting -- like morgan freeman came to play. an open book, whether about politics or brilliantly controversial, i knew he held these views, about women, he was a bit naughty but it was very funny and he knew what he was doing, everything i asked him about, he was entertaining,
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informative, interesting and a proper star. >> screw the country, we will do whatever we do to get this black man, do whatever we can to get this black man out of here. >> do you feel like you're being judged by other journalists, tom brokaw, barbara walters, how do you feel when you have to interview somebody like that? >> it's always challenging. i like it. they're all feisty -- >> do you think barbara walters is feisty? >> one of the most feisty women you can meet. >> on camera or off. >> there is not one country other than israel that does not have a king or dictator. we support many of those countries. >> she's ferociously hard working, incredibly professional and utterly ruthless. i want half her passion when i'm her age and one thing to aspire to. >> one thing you asked barbara walters, how many times have you been properly in love. >> a great question.
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>> let's look at these bevy of reactions. >> how many times have you been properly in love? >> properly in love? that's a good question actually how many times have you been properly in love? >> never. next question. >> you are making me fall properly in love with you, i mean it. >> how many times have you -- >>, you did not -- >> once, and i remain there. >> how many times have you been properly in love? >> how many times have you been properly in love? honestly, i've been waiting long enough -- >> you've been watching the show. >> it's time for another break and another question i will not let you answer. it's your favorite. how many times have you been properly in love? while you ponder that, here's one of my favorite moments, piers morgan versus manny pacquiao.
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you're good. you are good. >> i want to congratulate you in unseating a 95-year-old man. >> if i was going to woo you, which isn't completely crazy, if i was going to -- >> convince me you'll spend sunday afternoons watching
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football. >> you sum it up so well. >> i prefer it when you said you would take me to a darkened room and spank me. it was less awkward. >> the truth is, i have to say, being here on this show is the greatest moment. >> so that was a very impressive first week. >> not bad. >> you had oprah. what do you think of oprah? >> i loved oprah. she was so genuine. i never met her before. she walked into the interview, supposed to give me 40 minutes and gave me two hours and when i went there, all she did was pump up my show and say what a great time she had. that was very selfless and generous and didn't have to do that, a young guy taking over for the great larry king. i thought that was a generous thing she did to me. >> that's one of the toughest interviews i've had in years. >> was she one of the best guests you had? >> oprah, to me, is one of the
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biggest stars in the world. no other star in music or television has made the money she has done or built the empire she has gone or a better story for getting there. oprah is one of the most inspiring stories you could wish to see. i loved interviewing her. i thought she was terrific. >> i want you to keep your answers brief and try not to interrupt me in the middle of asking you. so, how many times have you been properly in love? >> i'm not going to tell you. >> that's ridiculous. why? just say it. you don't have to say who it was, just say lo many times. >> nobody ever has to answer that question. i'm a british gentleman. we don't talk about things like sex and love. >> what about hypocrisy, do you talk about that? >> i have been known to. i've been known to perpetrate. >> i assume you are in love with the wife you have now and the previous wife? >> that would be correct. >> and how many others do you think there will be along the
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way? >> i thought you might ask me. >> these are the questions you might ask. >> you get into a rhythm. >> so answer the question. >> you're interrupting me. see how easy it is? >> yep. >> i would say the moment i would most like the relive, a professional moment, it was one when i was editor in chief of "the daily mirror" and the biggest news story happened in my lifetime, 9/11, disaster. we were the smallest paper in terms of staff and resource in britain at the time. it was the british press awards, most prestigious event came about four or five months later. we won all four of the major awards including newspaper of the year for our coverage of 9/11. i thought, that's the biggest story i will ever cover as a journalist with outstanding -- >> what would you want to relive for that? >> the moment they said we won
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newspaper of the year. >> i would like that five minutes back. >> why? >> it was long-winded. >> if you could go back to before you were famous and walk through this door that says fame, i didn't know there was this door but in your version of events, there is, but would you walk through that door? >> i would love to. >> i love being famous if you're a mom of three kids with no income, that's a tough life. having your photograph taken and do interviews to promote your own show and make even more money for yourself and answering difficult questions occasionally. having the private life often in most cases you have sold for commercial gain yourself discussed by journalists, you know what, get over yourselves. we are very, very lucky to be well-known, to enjoy all the traps, the upgrades of airlines, fancy tables in good restaurants, nice cars, don't
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you think? >> i absolutely agree with you 100%. what would you like your epitaph to say? >> i'd love it to say, he tried his best. i always try to do everything i do to my best. that, to me, is a great maxim for life. try your best. because then if you fail, you weren't quite good enough and gave it your all. >> you love your celebrity guests -- >> you're being rude to me about responding to what your guests are saying. >> they want me to come and play you for a day, and i'm being rude. >> i don't do that. i have eye contact. >> we have eye contact. it's not my fault if you're not staring at my eyes. even though you're flirtatious, you flirt with men and women. men and women. >> i'm ambidextrous, what can i say. >> when we come back, we'll talk more about josh brolin. >> to all the tax dodging in
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london please just give it a rest for today, can you? thanks. ♪ he was a 21st century global nomad ♪ ♪ home was an airport lounge and an ipad ♪ ♪ made sure his credit score did not go bad ♪ ♪ with a free-credit-score-dot-com ♪ ♪ app that he had ♪ downloaded it in the himalayas ♪ ♪ while meditating like a true playa ♪ ♪ now when he's surfing down in chile'a ♪ ♪ he can see when his score is in danger ♪ ♪ if you're a mobile type on the go ♪ ♪ i suggest you take a tip from my bro ♪ ♪ and download the app that lets you know ♪ ♪ at free-credit-score-dot-com now let's go. ♪ vo: offer applies with enrollment in™.
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[ male announcer ] when diarrhea hits, kaopectate stops it fast. powerful liquid relief speeds to the source. fast. [ male announcer ] stop the uh-oh fast with kaopectate. might i remind you, your idea of awful is my idea of reasonably good. you have to be careful. >> does sex get better with age, do you think?
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>> you tell me. you're the one taking vie gragg. >> being super rich, smashingly successful, good looking, tv star. >> helping my confidence. >> you are the absolute personification of the modern day sex symbol, aren't you? >> wow, where do we go from here? >> i don't know. i'm hoping somewhere nice. >> you flirt with men as equally as women. what's that about? >> good interview technique. >> are you sure you're not just being a buffoon? >> how do you even know what nat word means? >> buffoon? because i'm looking at one. what happens when you decide you want to flirt with adam levine. when you have oscar winners on -- >> that was manly banter. >> that won't manly banter when you were talking to josh brolin, your face was lighting up.
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>> a handsome man. >> i'm a woman, i've interviewed adam and didn't look like you, like a schoolgirl. >> i saw you with 50 cent. >> tell me about your interview with 50 cent. >> he's a surprising guy. i love interviews when they're surprising. >> i feel the exact same way. >> i had people say the same thing. there's a guy in a smart suit, talking eloquently and intelligently and very thoughtfully about social issues. i admired him. thy guy has worked out about life and how to, as he said, get out of the ghetto, as he did. >> right. you know i feel the same way, since i slept with him. what do you -- i know when you interview people like whoopi goldberg, colin firth, when you have esteemed actors on, people who have won academy awards, you love that. >> actors and actresses are the hardest. they're tough because they're so
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used to playing a role. they're actually not very good at playing themselves. you occasionally get a real gem like anthony hopkins or who else? jeff bridges was great. morgan freeman, people very, very good at being themselves as well. but there are a lot of actors and actresses who are actually quite dumb in real life. they're so used to playing other people all their energy goes into these characters. and they're not ve aware of who they really are. >> how do you feel about comedians? females or male comedians? >> a lot of comedians are quite depressive, tricky characters. i think it comes from this horrible need they have, which is the drive they have in them to make people laugh. there's nothing worse, i shouldn't imagine, someone whose job it is to make people laugh and you don't get one. i think it instills an awful insecurity and paranoia in comedians. most comedians i know are edgy.
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they talk in a quite depressing way about their lives. they often go through a lot of angst. but they still remain very funny. occasionally you get an exception. jimmy fallon sat here, he played the guitar, he sang, he did impressions, h he told jokes. and this exuberance came through. so he was the exception. most comedians are tricky. >> what about kathie griffin when she tried to face hump you. >> one of the most dangerous moments of my life. >> can you imagine sitting here and kathy griffin comes at you like a rampant hyena. >> how did you fend her off. >> like you. >> you never had to fend me off. i keep coming back as a favor to you and your network. i happen to know you can play one song and one song only. well, whatever, it's one song you can play.
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that gets old no matter what. and you seem to think you're some sort of rock star. but here's how a real rock star behaves. >> hi kids. be somebody. >> that is brilliant.
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you know, only god knows. only god knows. >> when i was told i was going to be interviewed by piers morgan i was like, man, that's piers morgan. >> i suppose if i was going to start any interview with you, that would be women. >> go on then. >> you've made your life long pursuit glamorous women. would you attest to that? >> let's talk about your obsession with iter. last time i was on the show, you were tweeting on between the commercial breaks. how many twitter followers do you have? >> when did you join, first of all? >> i don't remember. >> years before me. >> probably two years. you're at 1.7 million follows.
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i'm sure i have twice as much as that. >> and you've been on twice as long. >> i have 4.4 and you have 1.7. >> i'll take you down. >> if you hosted your show in place of me, we should see who has the higher ratings, i have a feeling it won't be you. >> a bet is a bet. >> i have to run that by e! anyway, so jack nicholson, that's who you want on the show the most. >> he's the holy grail. >> i think jack would be great on this show. have you reached out to him? >> i keep saying on the show, hoping he's sitting there watching thinking, if i just do one interview with one guy on tv, it's going to be this guy. >> you think he'll want to do the one interview with you? what do you have to offer him that everybody else doesn't? >> i do interviews different than anyone else. you either like it or you don't.
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>> what if he doesn't like it? >> he will because he's my hero. if oprah is the biggest star in the world, jack is the most chaise mattic star in the world. he's a brilliant actor. every summer you see him on a boat surrounded by nubile young things, a big pack of beer and pizza. and he doesn't care about the paparazzi. >> is that the life you would like to lead? >> yes. i would like to be jack nicholson. >> okay, let's look at everybody kissing your ass for the end of the year. >> i love that idea. ♪ and they call it puppy love >> more people saw our interview than anything i did. >> you're good at this, you know? and you do it with such a height easy way. one might even forget oneself and answer your question. >> what happened to me in the
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supermarket most of the time is people say piers morgan, can i have your photograph? >> what he is your idea of a little bit of heaven? >> being here with you. this is my little bit of heaven. >> what's a big dream role for you? >> to play you. >> i'm really understanding you, by the way, usually when british people talk i just hear like doi, doi, doi, doi. >> you're really turn into is a shrink. >> you can't shut him uh up. not even with a taco. >> all right, settle down, piers. yikes. wow. >> fava beans and a nice chianti. >> my wife and i -- this may sound like i'm blowing smoke but we were sitting in bed watching piers morgan. >> piers promised everybody that i would cry. >> you're not going to make me cry, buddy. >> cnn, very good job hiring that piers, i will say.


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