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tv   The Nightly Show With Larry Wilmore  Comedy Central  August 25, 2015 9:48am-10:21am PDT

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mckinney pool party video just to cheer myself up. (laughter) how do you go from not signaling a lane change to getting locked in a jail cell with a $5,000 bond? that's not a setup for a joke. someone needs to give me a [ bleep ] answer. (cheers and applause) this is "the nightly show." let's do this! (cheers and applause) ♪ (cheers and applause) (audience chanting "larry") (cheers and applause) >> larry: welcome to the "the nightly show." man, we got a good crowd tonight. thank you so much. man, about eight people stood up. you guys have no idea the love in this audience. (laughter) amazing. you guys are such a great
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audience here. i love this. (cheers and applause) no, it's great. as we all know, american race relations have been pretty tumultuous lately. our weekly racial incidents are starting to feel something like an unlimited appetizer deal at a chain restaurant: grotesque, nauseating, and never-ending. (laughter) with the racial climate changing so rapidly, we thought it would be helpful to go to our in-house racial meteorologist, gusty hail. (laughter) (cheers and applause) how's it going, gusty? >> thanks, larry. we're dealing with plenty of racial atmospheric pressure pretty much everywhere. right? things are heating up, larry. (laughter) so it's okay to take off that hoodie, folks. seriously, take it off, because they will shoot you. (laughter) >> larry: what's racial atmospheric pressure? >> well, for instance, donald
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trump calling -- >> larry: other way. the other direction. (laughter) >> it's a new map. (laughter) >> larry: okay. donald trump calling mexicans rapists has really heated things up out west and near the border states. and the whole south is basically a giant racial cyclone. i know lots of people had been hoping that winds of change would sweep through that region and clear things up, but that just hasn't happened. >> larry: okay. gusty -- wait. is there something going on up in maine? >> maine is pretty stable, but that's only because there are no black people in maine at the moment. (laughter) >> larry: that makes sense. that makes sense. (laughter) >> you can see -- larry: uh-huh. clear skies at the moment. we've heard rumors that the wu-tang clan is performing in portland next month. (laughter) at which point a pressurized front could come from the south and blow and up cause trouble. (laughter) >> larry: absolutely.
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sounds right. i see right behind your butt -- yep, texas is on fire. what's going on there? >> well, larry, there's a fecal front swirling right outside of houston. (laughter) >> larry: fecal front? are you telling me there's a [ bleep ] storm brewing in texas? (laughter). >> you said it, larry. put together that many minorities, cowboys, and permissive gun laws, and you can guarantee some atmospheric trouble. >> larry: got it. okay. okay. thanks, gusty. (cheers and applause) now, look, this is going to be tough, but we really do want to focus on texas -- specifically what's going on with the sandra bland incident. it's gotten so many people talking because so much of it really doesn't make sense. a woman was pulled over for a traffic stop, and a few days apparently commits suicide in a jail cell. there's still a lot to unpack in this story. i'll tell you what. let's just look at the dashcam video that was released.
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>> you okay? i'm waiting on you. this is your job. what you want me to do? >> i don't know. you seem very irritated. >> i am. i really am, because i feel like this is crap for what i'm getting a ticket for. i was getting out of your way. you were speeding and tailing me. so i move over. and you stop me. so, yeah, i am irritated, but that doesn't stop you from giving me a ticket so -- >> are you done? larry: okay. this is the first escalation. you asked her the question. she answered it, and then you got a little snippy. "are you done?" isn't how you finish something. "are you done?" is how you start something. (laughter) right? (laughter) (cheers and applause) just sayin'. that's all i'm sayin'. okay? and it's very important to know what he's starting right now is an escalation. >> you asked me what's wrong and i told. >> okay. so now i'm done, yeah. okay. you mind putting out your cigarette, please. (laughter)
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>> larry: okay. she said she was done. and you kept on going. "you mind putting out your cigarette, please?" is the definition of not being interested in done. you're fishing for undoneness. all right? now, look, i'm not saying it's the best idea to be smoking a butt when a cop pulls you over. but you're allowed to. all right? and it definitely shouldn't result in this: >> i'm in my car. why do i have to put out my cigarette? >> you can step on out now. i don't have to step out of my car. >> step out of the car. step out of the car. >> no, you don't have the right -- >> step out of the car. you do not have the right to do that. >> i do have the right. now step out or i will remove you. >> i refuse to talk to you other than to identify myself -- >> get out or i will remove you. i am getting removed for a failure to signal? >> step out or i will remove you. i'm giving you a lawful order. get out of the car now, or i'm going to remove you. >> and i'm calling my -- i'm going to nk you out of here. >> okay. you're going to yank me out of
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my car? >> get out. larry: okay. all right. let's do this. >> we're going to. don't touch me. get out of the car! don't touch me. i'm not under arrest. you don't have the right to -- >> you are under arrest. i'm under arrest for what? 25-47 f.m. 298, send me a unit. get out of the car! get out of the car now! >> why am i being apprehended? you're trying to give me a ticket for failure -- >> i said get out of the car. why am i being apprehended? you open my car door -- >> i'm going to drag you out of here. >> you're going to drag me out of my own car? >> get out of the car! i will light you up! get out! >> wow. now! wow! get out of the car! larry: okay. here's what i saw. i saw a woman who was very irritated, probably having a bad day -- most likely because she was pulled over -- smoking a cigarette to calm down, complied with everything the officer asked for. then it got confusing because he told her to put out her cigarette but then offered to light her up by pointing a taser at her head.
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to me and most reasonable people, it's very clear this officer was wrong. >> if you are being stopped by a police officer, whether that police officer is right or wrong, don't you do what he says until afterwards. then you can sue him. then you're still alive. >> larry: okay, first of all, i don't know who you're yelling at. [ audience boos ] secondly, should one be on one's best behavior when the cop pulls one over? ideally, yes. but most importantly, the cop is a professional. (cheers and applause) right? should he not have been on such a power trip?! (cheers and applause) now i'm yelling, don lemon. (laughter) let me calm down for a second. it's easy to say, black people, why aren't you acting like the dowager countess when a cop pulls you over? (laughter) "oh, hello, officer. i'm so pleased you've unexpectedly dropped in on me! ah! (laughter)
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would you like some tea? i brew it in my glove compartment." (laughter) next to my stash of weed that i have. (laughter) yes, that would make sense. but on the other hand, the fact that we live in a world where black people have to strategize so they're not brutalized by police is insane. (cheers and applause) okay. all right. that's don lemon. that's don lemon. what does fox have to say about this? (laughter) i'm not sure if i can watch. >> there was no reason whatsoever to arrest her. she didn't have to listen to him for that reason. she had to give him her driver's license and her information and that was it. >> why is she in jail for three days? >> on $5,000 bail! there needs to be an intense investigation. (cheers and applause)
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(laughter) >> larry: this is how you know how [ bleep ] crazy a situation is. (cheers and applause) right? when i totally agree with white people who are talking about race on fox. (cheers and applause) right? oh! that's how crazy it is. anyone else who i always vehemently disagree with also getting this right? anyone? anyone? >> i thought it was terrible. (laughter) >> larry: you've got to be [ bleep ] me! (laughter) >> i thought it was terrible. i thought he was so aggressive. it was a traffic signal, as i understand it, and, you know, who gets out of a car for a traffic signal? i'm a huge fan of the police, but this guy was overly aggressive. terribly aggressive. >> larry: even trump agrees?! (cheers and applause) right? oh. okay. we have lost cabin pressure. (laughter) put your mask on first.
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(laughter) all right. but in all seriousness, there's a lot of speculation in the media and online right now about what exactly happened to sandra bland. sometimes the most rational thing to say is "i don't know." i don't know what happened to sandra, and to engage in a guessing game about how she passed this or that, it can be reckless. but i do know that the racial climate is supercharged right now. we joked about it earlier, but the black community is on edge. and it doesn't surprise me to see a black woman get irritated with a police officer. just as it doesn't surprise me to see a police officer neglect to de-escalate a tense situation. (applause) i mean, to me -- it almost feels like they were two players in a greek tragedy marching toward an inevitable conclusion. sandra brand is one victim. but her story speaks to a larger issue. an issue we should be trying to solve before it becomes a problem again. we'll be right back. (cheers and applause)
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(cheers and applause). >> larry: welcome back. there's been a lot of talk about racial tensions in the south lately. and it's something that we've had our eye on here at "the nightly show." so we sent mike yard to the deep south of manhattan to find out more. take a look. >> all i keep hearing these days in the news is the confederate flag that. i'm sick of it. they don't have a monopoly on racism. taxi! (laughter) we have racism here too. ♪ ♪ >> today, right here on this spot, new york is unveiling a historic marker for a slave market. anybody want to buy one? get your fresh, hot negroes. you want a negro. he's one for you. one for you.
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you want to buy one? how's that for racism? huh? >> for 50 years, men and women were bought and sold and forced into slavery. >> this was the center of commerce for the british. they centered all the markets here as well. >> a lot of time they had green that were for sale too along with the slaves. so you could debt a bag of grain with a little 61y negro. (laughter) ♪ >> how many new yorkers know that our city's slave market was rivaled only by the slave market in charleston, south carolina? >> i don't think any of you knew that. >> how much to you think i would have went for? >> you? how much would you have paid? you? how much would you have paid for me? >> this became a place for buying and selling and renting human beings. >> they pay more for children. wouldn't be me, they would bow a child before me?
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>> they'd rather have a child. a child can't lift what i can lift. the brother with the yo-yo trick. you go for a lot in this market. (laughter). >> you're hurting my feelings. don't know if you would buy me. >> uh-huh. and then you're saying would you buy a child -- you would buy a child before would you buy me. >> i don't need a child, but back in new york, during the time of slavery, they loved children. >> i'm getting uncomfortable with this. (laughter) ♪ >> the south don't own racism. the south don't own slavery. we can be just as backwards in the north. that stank is on all of us. we don't work for free no more. (cheers and applause) >> larry: mike yard, everybody! we'll be right back. (cheers and applause) every coconut has a dream. to come out of its shell. to show all the world its true, inner beauty. and then, in an ironic twist,
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>> larry: welcome back. i'm here with my panel. "the nightly show" writer jordan carlos. (cheers and applause) you can see him at the new york fringe festival in august, former new york city police officer and comedian mark demayo. (cheers and applause) and assistant professor at fordham university, christina greer. (cheers and applause) we're talking about sandra bland incident here. i just want to ask everybody, how should you act when you are pulled over by a cop? >> nice. try to be as nice as possible. i was. i always was even when avis kid. and i wasn't always a cop. eye used to act up and get into trouble. whenever i got in trouble, yes, sir, apologies. those are okay too. >> i try not to sing the theme from "cops," you know? (laughter). ♪ bad boys bad boys what you going to do? ♪
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>> join in if you want to, officer. (laughter) >> you invite the officer to join in. >> absolutely. maybe he wants to get in on it. >> larry: mark? just go out and get in his car. >> i just might. bring your own cuffs too. (laughter) >> larry: did you act within your rights or should you act polite? >> well, i think for black people we've clearly seen when you act polite, it doesn't matter. (cheers and applause) and so this is -- i think this the tension, right? so many parents have told their children and themselves, if i'm good, right, things won't escalate, and i can go on my way. we know that that's not the case. if we also tell officers that we know our rights, then we have officers telling us they'll light our asses up and drag our asses out. so -- >> larry: it's very frustrating. i'm trying to make sense about why it escalated. what's the conflict? is it black/white? some of it to me was man cop/woman driver. (cheers and applause) i'll be honest with you.
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when he kept saying, what's wrong? you okay? you having a bad day? (overlapping talking) >> ever ask a woman what's wrong? (laughter) and after that, whatever you do, don't ever tell her you look aggravated. (laughter) >> let's be clear. there's the intersection of race, gender and class, and with him power. (applause) >> larry: here's what i want to ask you. you're a former cop, right? malcolm talks about the escalation moment. he talks about it brilliantly. and that's why you have training so you can handle when your heart's going fast and all that stuff. it looked to me like there was no training involved, because he provoked at every escalation point. that's what i was trying to -- every escalation point, he could have brought it down, but he pushed it further. >> there was the moment there -- (cheers and applause) >> larry: you know what i mean? there was a moment there it was a regular car stop and then when he came back and he said,
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what's the matter? you look upset. of course, i'm upset. i just got a summons or i'm getting a summons. she didn't know it was a warning summons and for failure to signal. avis cop. i was in a cop car plenty of time seeing cops behind me and go, oh, my god, what did i do? (laughter) there has to be little leeway where if you didn't signal, it's not the end of the world. >> i wouldn't ask anybody to put out a cigarette. they're $14 a pack. (laughter) >> would you put out your cigarette? >> this among other reasons is why black folks shouldn't smoke but -- (laughter) cy would definitely put out my cigarette and, like mark said, i would get into the back of the squad car immediately without him even saying anything. he'll be like, what are you doing? >> you'd get in the squad car. absolutely. sort it out. you know what i mean? i'd bring my own cuffs. these are very nice. you know? i like -- >> larry: would you have --
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can i just say one thing about attitude? >> larry: sure. you go to the dmv, somebody's there. you wait two hours on line. when you get to the front, you're not going to be like, i need this. you're going to be, hello, hi, i'm -- yeah! so because you want to get your registration renewed. when you're stopped by the cops, you want to get out of it quick. just be nice. >> larry: no chance of somebody shooting you at the -- (laughter) -- dmv. >> here's something i think we should probably address, which is the fact that being african-american, you always have to have the wherewithal to be on your ps and qs all the time, not just around the cops but around those who can call the cops. you know, and this lady just had a bad day. you know what i mean? and she didn't carry that mantle for a second and it cocked her. it's heavy. it's a heavy burden. >> larry: i don't like all the blaming on her. >> if she had only not spoken back, then this wouldn't have happened. black folks in this country are held to a completely different
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standard. (cheers and applause) we are. >> you know, we don't have -- (applause). >> larry: the other component of it also, depression particularly these kips of things in underserved communities, people who don't have healthcare, big problem nobody's talking about. (applause) big problem. >> so i mean, this is coming out after the fact, right? police officer did not know that. but what about trauma? what about all the other people who -- black people who are heend the wheel, black people whose kids are turning 16 and it's a dreaded day for a black parent because they know that their child is now going to be on the road by themselves with police officers. i mean, this is -- there's depression and there's there's also something else. there's a level of fear that black folks in this country have, and it's from the state. and until people recognize this, it doesn't matter if you have a sassy mouth. she's allowed. it's not illegal. >> my son drives -- (applause) and i get nervous when he
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drives. i tell him, listen, you get pulled over -- and i was a cop, and i tell him all the time exact i what to do. and that's -- on the other tip, i'm from texas. and the love black people do get pulled over in texas speeding because we're trying to get the hell out. (laughter) (applause) >> larry: there's a lot of things we're not going to know about this, but that one is thing we know for sure. (laughter) we'll be right back right after this. (cheers and applause) >> larry: if you live in the new york city area or planning to visit, grab some free tickets to an upcoming taping of the "the nightly show," showcased monday through thursday. for complete details go to the thenightlyshow.com/tickets. (cheers and applause)
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- grover cleveland was like, frances is, like, gonna be the main bitch. wait, what was i saying? - edith [bleep] wilson was like, sit down. i am in charge now. can i get my cheesy bread i brought? - your what? - cheesy bread that i brought! - when the british arrive, dolley madison was like i'm just gonna be checking this [bleep] out, and i'm gonna take care of everything. cheers. [laughs] [patriotic music] ♪
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- a first lady is pretty much-- she is-- well, obviously she is the wife of the president, but she's around to... to kind of, like-- whatever--hold on. let me think. [laughs] - first ladies? - yeah. - mm. - a first lady is a female ambassador to the united states of america. without a first lady, america would be [bleep]. behind every good man is a ride-or-die kind of bitch, and america would not thrive without a ride-or-die kind of bitch. you know what i'm saying? - first ladies. - i'm nose-greasing this beer 'cause i cannot deal with this foam. - i've never heard "nose-greasing." - what? - i've never heard that term. - okay, so you, like, take the side of your face-- - okay. - there's always grease on your face. - of course, i have a greasy face.

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