Skip to main content

tv   The Daily Show  Comedy Central  November 3, 2015 11:00pm-11:32pm PST

11:00 pm
>> november 3, 2015, from comedy central's worl world headquarten new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah! (cheers and applause) >> trevor: thank you so much! thank you so much! welcome to "the daily show"! i'm trevor noah. thank you so much for joining us! author and feminist icon gloria steinem joining us tonight, everybody! (cheers and applause) >> trevor: but first up, big
11:01 pm
news online. yes, i'm talking about twitter's new hot icon which has re-- heart icon which has replaced the star. sorry, star, ironically, in the end, you are not favorited. a lot of people on twitter were upset. i think we're losing focus, guys. let's not lose sight of what's truly important. you don't measure your self worth in stars or hearts. you measure it in retweets, people! you retweet or you go home! (cheers and applause) yeah! i mean, you already are at home because you're tweeting, but you know what i mean. let's turn from twitter to another lawless wilderness. the republican presidential race. this weekend republicans were getting down and under with their undecided voter selves growth and opportunity party which is not as the same ducts
11:02 pm
an erectile dysfunction support group but something that won't give you a boner. >> 20 candidates for the 2016 field descend opened des moines for the growth party, the g.o.p. this is the last cattle call before the iowa caucuses. >> trevor: i'm not going to lie -- this country is weird. where i'm from, a cattle call is where you bring together a group of simple-minded stubborn creatures, and (bleep) is partly responsible for the trouble we have with global warming. (cheers and applause) but i must give these guys credit. they put the potsy in growth and opportunity potsy. >> games, free cotton candy. >> trevor: free gotten candy! yeah! trying to win votes or kidnap
11:03 pm
kids? (cheers and applause) but seeing as this was the last chance for iowans to see g.o.p. candidates in one place, we wanted to be there. jordan klepper filed this report. (cricket sounds) >> trevor: oh yeah, that's right... nobody (bleep) because, for real, the iowa state republican party specifically denied the daily "the daily show" access to their event last week (booing) no, no, give them a chance because the reason why they denied us was amazing. as the state's g.o.p. chairman jeff kaufman explains, "we were afraid they were going to make fun of iowa." (applause) they were afraid of us! little old us!
11:04 pm
that's ridiculous! i've got no beef two the state of iowa. until three months ago, i didn't know it existed. no, no, i heard the word, i just used to think it was something people said when they were listing states alphabetically and couldn't remember what came after indiana. it would be, like, indiana, i...o...wuhhhh... oh, yeah, kansas! come on, mr. kaufman. what you did was disingenuous, you shouldn't hide behind iowa. you don't want people making fun of your terrible candidates and your ridiculous events. as far as i'm concerned, the iowa g.o.p. can suck it's own caucus. hello... (applause) i will admit in some ways shutting us out of your events was pretty shrewd because now it's just impossible for us to make jokes about your main attractions including all the people fighting it out for eighth place, like mr. personality himself, jeb bush, who had to compete with
11:05 pm
bails of hay for the most interesting thing on stage award. yeah. jeb bush never stood a chance. i mean, without our correspondents on the scene, how could we make fun of the growth and opportunities parties spook tack lar halloween theme including this scarecrow of hillary clinton they made! (audience reacts) ha ha! guys, if you wanted a fake empty hillary clinton, you could have just used carly fiorina! (cheers and applause) see, our problem isn't with iowa as a state, it's with the bloated role in the american elections. i don't understand, especially because iowa's republican caucus stopped mattering years ago. it in no way determines the party nominee let ahone the general election winners. ask mike huckabee and less
11:06 pm
president rick santorum. all it makes it crazier when presidential scants show up to your growth and opportunity party state fairs to kiss your ass and blow your food. i don't understand it. me and iowa, we're cool but republican chair jeff kaufman, you george costanza-newman hybrid! (cheers and applause) this isn't over. we can't come to your stupid party, fine! we'll have our own party. and you're not invited! oh, man... you should see our bails of hay! they are huge! this could be us. on the scene in iowa, i believe jordan klepper is finally live there! jordan klepper, everybody! (cheers and applause) jordan, we're waiting to know what's going on in iowa. >> actually, trevor, i only made
11:07 pm
it to the state line. i was unable to get in. turns out, they built a wall. you know what? it's actually pretty effective. maybe we have been too harsh on that lunatic. anyway, trevor, iowans are afraid and rightfully so. they don't want "the daily show" elitists coming here calling them corn-fed cow-eyed elitists. >> trevor: i'm sprayed when they're so successful as picking such successful people like john mccain. >> they're more worried we'll call them motor scooter-bound heifer-logs with gravy trudging through their veins. it will be the type two diabetes that kills them and that's the kind of joke they're afraid we'll make! >> trevor: we would never say the intair state has type two diabetes.
11:08 pm
>> exactly, type three diabetes, a people class of diects just for people from iowa. the music man already ripped on them in the '50s. iowa got bullied by musical theater! but still there is a fear at the "the daily show" will make fun for the way they deep fry flour and stuff their faces with things that can only loosely be defined as food. >> trevor: the last thing i would do is make fun of people for having food. i'm from africa. >> exactly. you know this and i know. this iowaians are decent, kind, smart people who work hard every day so their children can grow up and have a better life than indiana. if we at "the daily show" did make horrible jokes like that, iowa onciowaians who aren't jefn couldn't take it. but we don't make those jokes. but we don't make those jokes. >> trevor: i'm glad we
11:09 pm
with double the slices of caramelized crispy pepper bacon. it's the bacon experience you've been waiting for. bacon up. america runs on dunkin'.
11:10 pm
as awhy sometimes i'm justrson, too busy to cook dinner. so, i just pick up kfc's twenty dollar family fill up with eight pieces of delicious, original recipe chicken.
11:11 pm
it's finger lickin' good. mountain dew kickstart. with two new flavors that taste good. (cheers and applause) >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show"! now, if i may, i would like to say a few words about courage.
11:12 pm
it's the thing that iowa state republican chairman jeff kaufman and the iowaian republican party just don't seem to have. that's weird because ifive learned one thing about republican in general it's how tough they. >> are president obama has been a weak president. >> if you waged jihad on america you are sign you can death warrant. >> we will look for you and find you and kill me. >> they don't know me. they don't know me. i eat nails when i wake up, then i have breakfast. (laughter) >> trevor: jeb bush eats nails? that means his insides are hemorrhaging fast than his campaign! (applause) but i have to admit all that chest thumping is pretty cool in a caveman-slash-silverback gorilla sort of way, which is why i was surprised after last
11:13 pm
weak's republican primary debates on cnbc, all the tough talkersustarted sounding like this. >> the questions were so nasty. moderated didn't do their job. >> every question was an attack the room was probably 100 degrees. >> we turned it into a game show. >> it was all about the horse race. >> debates are supposed to be established to help the people to get to know the candidates and what it's turned into is a... gotcha! >> trevor: ahhh! so much energy, dr. carson. (laughter) feels like this whole time he was lulling us to sleep just to shut us up. obamacare... is the worse thing since... slavery... gotcha! what happened at the cnbc debate that transformed the crew from "the expendables" into the cast
11:14 pm
of scooby-doo? >> republicans, democrats and the white house are about to strike a compromise to raise the debt limit, prevent a government shutdown. does your opposition to it show you're not the kind of problem solver american voters want? >> you give nearly twice as much of a gain in after-tax income to the top 1% as to people in the middle of the income scale. since you're the champion of the americans living paycheck to paycheck, don't you have that backward is this. >> you have a flat tax plan of 10% flat taxes. i looked at it and i've had a tough time trying to make the math work on this. what analysis got to the point where you think this will work? >> whoa, whoa, whoa! what's with all the detailed questions? how about we save a little mystery for inauguration night? of course, as upset as the candidates were about the questions they got, they were way more angry about the questions they didn't get. >> the contrast at the democratic debate where every fawning question from the media
11:15 pm
was which of you is more handsome and why. >> the difference is night and day. >> hillary had only soft balls all night long. >> total double standard. all you had to do is watch the debate on cnn with hillary -- >> oh, it's a love fest. what's your favorite dog name, cat name. >> trevor: i'll grant you, favorite dog name and cat name, those are dumb questions because, obviously, the right answer for dog is waggy gyllenhall. (laughter) and for a cat, greg. yeah, doesn't matter what you call your cat. katcats don't give a damn (laughter) quick question, did anybody actually watch the democratic debate because those were not nice questions. >> secretary clinton l you say anything to get elected? why should americans trust you with the country when they see what's going on in the city you ran more than seven years. if you and your husband are part of the 1% how can you represent the views of the middle class. are you saying you don't know what you're voting for? what does that say about
11:16 pm
handling crises? do you change your debate depending on who you're talking to? how can any socialist win a general election in the united states? (applause) >> trevor: t to be fair, when someone as handsome as anderson cooper is being mean to you, sort of feels like a compliment. you want to bully me, anderson? sure! i'll to your homework! thanks for asking me! the republicans are trying to baby proof the election from top to bottom. >> the campaign came together for a closed door meeting last night and agreed on list of demands for future debrace. >> they don't want lightning rounds because they believe they devolve into gotcha questions. >> the debaters don't want the viewers to see them sweat so the room temperature must be 67 degrees or cooler in the debate hall. >> trevor: oh, now you're
11:17 pm
concerned about warming! ah, ah! (cheers and applause) and demand was from rand paul, by the way. yeah, if the temperature goes above 75, his hair just -- poof! the question is, how ridiculous are these demands going to get? >> after a bathroom break, television cameras would be forbidden from showing a candidate's empty podium. >> trevor: speak of the bathrooms, are you (bleep) me? the candidates are seriously worried the viewers will know how much time they spent peeing? that has to be for jeb bush, everyone knows he's pee shy. trump doesn't even use the bathroom, he just whips it out and writes his name right there on the stage. (laughter) look, republicans, toughen up. if you're trying to become president, you can't be afraid to deal with tough questions because that's all the president does how do you think in less
11:18 pm
than eight years barack obama went from handsome junior senator to black crypt keeper? gotcha! we'll be right back! (cheers and applause) ♪ ♪ padvil pm gives you the healingu at nsleep you need, it. helping you fall asleep and stay asleep so your body can heal as you rest. advil pm. for a healing night's sleep.
11:19 pm
around the world, around the clock. in defense of all we hold dear back home.
11:20 pm
with double the slices of caramelized crispy pepper bacon. it's the bacon experience you've been waiting for. bacon up. america runs on dunkin'. ♪ ♪ ♪
11:21 pm
♪ give extra. get extra. mi'm a lineman here in oakland. day in, day out, a large part of what we do is about providing reliable power to our customers. pg&e is dedicated to the community. i love working here because this is my home. oakland is my home. this is where i'm raising my children so it's important to me to make sure my family and friends have the power and energy that we provide. this is very personal to me. it makes me work a lot harder knowing that this is my community. together, we're building a better california. announcer: babies who are talked to from the time they're born.. are more likely to have a successful future. talking and reading to children in their first years has a huge impact on what they do with the rest of their lives. the fewer words they hear, the greater their chances of dropping out of school
11:22 pm
and getting into trouble. talk. read. sing. your words have the power to shape their world. learn more at first5california.com/parents >> trevor: welcome back! my guest tonight is an iconic feminist, activist and writer. her new book is called "my life on the road." please welcome gloria steinem! (cheers and applause) oh! welcome. that is probably one of the most rupturist applauses any guest has gotten in this chair. (cheers and applause) >> that's it, i'm never leaving. >> trevor: you're leaving now? no, no, i'm never leaving. i'm staying right here. >> trevor: i hope. so thank you very much for
11:23 pm
coming. one thing i loved about reading your book is talking about traveling. in a strange way, i thought i could relate to you, being a citizen of the world, learning from every place you go to. what would you say the biggest advantage of traveling was for you? >> well, it continues to be -- i mean, in a deep sense, it's like meditation, it makes you live in the present, and in an external, all-the-time sense, it makes you learn, you know, because if you're listening and seeing all this diversity and nobody is who you think they are, they turn out to be different. if you travel long enough, it's like a novel. you get the end of the novel that 15 years ago you heard the beginning of. it's fantastic. but i wanted to do it because not only is this what i do the most and had written about the least, but also it's something that i really want to gift to other people, especially women, i think, because women are not supposed to go out on the road.
11:24 pm
the road has been a mail pray vince and a male literary province, too. >> trevor: yes. let's talk about the progress or lack thereof that has been made i guess in the world of women's rights. when i talked about you in the office, people were arguing. the argument wasn't is gloria steinem an icon, the question was is she the feminist, which many regard you as. >> no, but that is so wrong. by the very nature of the movement, it has to be lots and lots and lots of people i felt feel the same crazed trait 'tude to the movement anybody else feels because, you know, it saved our lives, it continues to make lives better. i'm one of the girls, so to speak. >> trevor: that's what people at the to be always say, i'm just one of you, my little subjects! >> no, this is serious. it is so wrong to treat a movement as if it is only a few
11:25 pm
people. it's a way of doing in the movement because then if you get rid of those few people, you think it's gone when, in fact, you know -- change grows from the bottom like trees! >> trevor: (cheers and applause) >> trevor: that's a good question, then. then the question is, do you think the movement is still in full effect? if you look at some of the regression now. i mean, planned parenthood, the defunding going on, seems like you lived in a time when you were fighting for a woman's right to choose, and now you're looking at that going backwards. and you look at a woman not earning the same amount of money as a man in the same position, do you feel the movement does still exist? >> no, absolutely. i mean, because we had a huge leap forward, because all of the issues brought up by the women's movement in your country and my country, all over the world, are now majority issues. we now have a huge backlash against that. you don't have a backlash unless
11:26 pm
you have a front-lash, so to speak. >> trevor: hillary clinton. do you think we're ready? because in your book, you said something interesting. you said, in 2008, you wanted hillary to win, but you didn't believe america was ready. >> mm-hmm. >> trevor: do you think america's ready now? >> no, i mean, i actually had supported obama and -- you know, we had two great candidates there, but i did not think the country was ready yet for a woman of any description if she really represented the majority of women because we're raised by women as children, whether we're women or men, and we deeply associate female authority with childhood motio emotionality, nurturing, and the man on the outside world seems more rational and appropriate. i think it's why so many of the big grownup news reporters, if you think about what was going on in 2008, were saying things about hillary like i cross my
11:27 pm
legs whenever i see her, she reminds me of my first wife outside alimony. these are serious, excuse me? but they felt regressed to childhood because the last time they saw a powerful woman they were, like, six! >> trevor: i like that, from six-on, they don't see a powerful woman. so has that changed? do you think america is fa ready? >> i think we're on the cusp of change enough so that it's possible. and hillary herself as secretary of state has contributed to our familiarity of women in that position. but so have great women like maxinewatemaxine watters, and ba mikulski. >> trevor: and carly fiorina, you're a big fan of hers, i believe. >> no
11:28 pm
(applause) i'm talking about women who got elected because they represented a popular majority opinion. she got promoted becaus by god s who. >> trevor: we'll leave it there. "my life on the road" in the stores now. you need to get this book. gloria steinem, everybody! (cheers and appla ♪ ♪ ♪ it's not going to fit up liftthe stairs.legs. what time does goodwill close? google voice: goodwill is open till 9pm. show me a moving company nearby.
11:29 pm
google voice: moving company within 6 miles. how do i get to 3221 carter ave.? 226 hyde street. google voice: here are your directions. when does my package arrive? google voice: your most recent order has shipped. thank you. setting new home address. text mom: i really like it here. just serve classy snacks and bew a gracious host,iday party. no matter who shows up. [cricket sound] richard. didn't think you were going to make it. hey sorry about last weekend, i don't know what got into me. well forgive and forget... kind of. i don't think so! do you like nuts? and there's actor jaleel white. and wax museum urkel. it's weird they're hanging out, but dual zone automatic climate control
11:30 pm
keeps one toasty and the other from melting. and the 7 inch touch screen display audio system drowns out that canned laughter. it's weird they'd want dual wishbone rear suspension, but the road to redefining oneself has many twists and turns. did i do... the new scion im. standard features that actually come standard. weird, right? you could be the best and then your state. then get all the love you could be the best in this house you could be faster than the fastest. you could carry on a legacy. then add a couple of these. and then make everyone want to be like you. and you can stop there, but you wont. because you're not done yet. for the athletes moving the game forward, gatorade's creating the fuel to do the same. fueling today. fueling the future. catch holiday-cookie cheer on the tip of your tongue with dunkin' donuts' holiday- cookie-flavored coffees, lattes, and macchiatos.
11:31 pm
enjoy every sip of the new snickerdoodle macchiato. (cheers and applause) >> trevor: that's our show! stay tuned for "the nightly show" coming up next! now here it is... your moment of zen. >> i think we should have moderators interested in disseminating the information about the candidates as opposed to, you know, gotcha! captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh y.ccess.wgbh.org >> larry: tonightly, republican presidential campaigns are making a list of demands for future debates. bobby jindal is thbobby jindal'n invitation to future debates. jeb bush changed his campaign slogan to "jeb can fix it." it's a play on

305 Views

info Stream Only

Uploaded by TV Archive on