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tv   The Nightly Show With Larry Wilmore  Comedy Central  November 16, 2015 9:17am-9:51am PST

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or as republicans say, i'm discussing fantasy stuff with bill nye the anti-religion guy. (cheers and applause) and i'll ask bill nye... will climate change really cause fishless oceans by 2050? because for the record, i've already started hoarding sea bass. (laughter) it's happening, america -- this is "the nightly show"! (cheers and applause) captioning sponsored by comedy central ♪ oh, wow! what a crowd tonight! (audience chanting larry) thank you so much. what a great tuesday night crowd
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tonight. i know! (cheers and applause) we've got a great show for you tonight. bill nye the science guy is back with us on panel. we're going to talk about climate change. but first, let's talk about how the racial climate has been changing on the university of missouri campus. >> the university of missouri this morning is looking for a new president and chancellor. anger over racial tensions on campus forced them out. both leaders resigned monday within hours of each other. >> african-american students including the student body president say they've faced repeated shouts of the "n" word on campus. >> larry: wait, which "n" word are we talking about? if the "n" word in question is "nincompoop," then i would agree that it's probably not warranted. but i'm not sure if it rises to the level of -- i'm just kidding. i know it was "nigger."
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all right. screaming the "n" word is a pretty messed up thing to do. but is this the only thing? have there been other things to happen on this campus? >> in one incident this year, a swastika was found in a residence hall drawn with human feces. (audience reacts) >> larry: okay. that's pretty bad. but i have to be honest with you -- the headline there is more hygiene than racism. you're burying the lede of your hatred, poop swastika guy. i mean, if you're trying to make a case for the "turd reich," i get it. nice racist pun. this is america, and you have the right to do that. just use a sharpie. only a suggestion. and this has been "the more you hate." ♪ (cheers and applause) but that's not all. apparently, there have also been
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a number of other reports of racial incidents on campus. >> members of a black student organization said a drunk white student yelled the "n" word at them. >> back in september, the student government president, who is a black man, said people in a pickup truck on campus yelled racial slurs at him. >> larry: wait, someone's surprised that some yokels in a pickup truck in missouri might yell out the "n" word? please. i would be surprised if the g.p.s. lady wasn't programmed to say that. "turn left, at the niggers." (audience reacts) that's what she said! in all fairness, it probably is the clearest landmark. that's all i'm saying. (audience reacts) (laughter) "you've missed your exit. please make a jew-turn as soon as possible ." racist g.p.s., everyone. thank you very much. (cheers and applause)
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the g.p.s. is racist! not me. look, i'm not trying to diminish this, but, you know, i know kids can say a lot of (bleep) up things at that age. that's why you have the faculty there to provide an example. >> joining me now is cynthia frisbee. she's associate professor of strategic communication at the missouri school of journalism. you wrote on facebook, "i have been called the "n" word too many times to count. and yes, i have had a few faculty call me the "n" word and treat me with incredible disrespect." >> larry: no! faculty? >> yes, faculty. >> larry: well, i guess we finally know what goes on behind that mysterious door to the faculty lounge. smoking and racism, mystery solved. okay. there is definitely a problem here. so why did the president resign? couldn't he just sit down and hash it out with his students? >> students felt that president
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wolfe was dismissive of their concerns which led to the students blocking his car during the homecoming day parade and, at that point, he did not get out of the car to talk to them. >> larry: oh, my god, he wouldn't get out of the car? you know, maybe he was trying to get out, but the g.p.s. lady wouldn't let him. "i'm sorry, tim. i'm afraid i can't do that ." it's possible. actually, he may have made a good decision staying in the car because, when the students eventually caught up to him a few weeks later, this happened. >> i will give you an answer and i'm sure it will be a wrong answer. >> you gonna google it? i will give you an answer, and i'm sure it will be a wrong answer. >> tim -- tim wolfe, what do you think systematic oppression is?" >> larry: no! don't do it, tim! you cannot win! this is a trap! don't answer this question! even if your answer is pitch perfect, it will go poorly. >> systematic oppression is because you don't believe that you have the equal opportunity for success in --
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>> did you -- did you just blame us for systematic oppression, tim wolfe? >> larry: no! what are you doing? i told you not to answer! and you did it anyway. and then you victim blame black students for oppression? man, tim wolfe totally messed up on that one. that's not how his cousin dick wolf would have handled that situation. he would have written 18 seasons of a long-running procedural about it, to everyone's delight. (laughter) but it wasn't that quiet meeting that made president wolfe resign. >> a graduate student named jonathan butler decided he would go on a hunger strike until wolfe stepped aside. >> larry: jonathan, i admire your beliefs, your fortitude and your courage, but let me say, as a father of a college student, do you know how much a meal plan is at mizzou? (laughter) just putting that out there. (cheers and applause)
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up to $3,500! can't you deny yourself something that wasn't prepaid at the beginning of the semester? ugh. just putting it out there. i get it now. a hunger strike is serious. no president wants to see a kid possibly die of hunger over something like this. i mean, that is why he resigned, right? >> when black football players at missouri, an s.e.c. school, said they would not play or practice again until wolfe went away, well, that's when it reached a tipple point. mizzou's coach supported the planned strike. if the tigers did not take the field this weekend against brigham young university, they would have had to pay a $1 million cancellation fee. >> i am resigning as president of the university of the missouri system. >> larry: so it was football and money that saved the day? oh, this is such an american story.
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for a university whose official colors are black and gold -- black seems to be a lot less important than gold. we'll be right back. (cheers and applause) ♪ (vo) after 50 years of designing cars for crash survival, subaru has developed our most revolutionary feature yet. a car that can see trouble... ...and stop itself to avoid it. when the insurance institute for highway safety tested front crash prevention nobody beat subaru models with eyesight. not honda. not ford or any other brand. subaru eyesight. an extra set of eyes, every time you drive. ♪ just look at those two.
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carnie wilson. thank you. can you hold on? ♪ hold on for one more day really? hey, i know there's pain. why do you lock yourself up in these chains? ♪ this would be so easy if you had progressive. our mobile app would let you file a claim and help you find one of our service centers where we manage the entire repair process. things will go your way if you hold on. [ sighs ] someday somebody's gonna make you wanna turn around and say goodbye. ♪ say goodbye no, you just made it weird.
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i'm s(ding)g. we've been compromised! don't let hunger kill your game. hot pockets brings you new snack bites. bite-size hot pockets sandwiches with 100% real cheese. guys, i'm back! new snack bites from... (ding) ♪ hot pockets! (cheers and applause) >> larry: welcome back. on yesterday's show, we aired a piece with our own ricky velez investigating racism in professional wrestling. in tonight's part 2, ricky actually steps into the ring for a match as he tries to become the world's most racist wrestler. how did he do? let's take a look. >> so, you may be wondering why i'm in this position. well, i'm investigating racism in wrestling. in order to do that, i enlisted the help of two ex-wwe stars.
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can you teach me to become a racist? i'm going to be a racist. did a whole training, and tonight at the main event, i fight virgil in the most racist wrestling match of all time. but, before that, i wanted to talk to the fans about this issue -- and i also wanted to sell them some merchandise. you like my merchandise? it was knitted by my woman. youecan also purchase in an orange. i'm going to sign a burrito for you. it's more of a rip. >> i want this one. 'll mow your daughter's lawn. that's a favorite here tonight. >> my job is winning matches. you like the racism? right? >> yeah. the imagination of a fan. is it racist? >> fans just want to be excited.
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they want to jump, they want to scream, they want to jump out of their seats, they want to cry, they want to laugh. >> but they say racist things towards you, so why is that okay? >> but when you go outside, it's, how are you, baby? how are you doing? the same guy that called you a black son of a bitch (bleep) -- >> do you think there is a lot of racism in wrestling? >> there is not a lot of african-american wwe champions. >> how many? the only one i can think of is the rock. >> we're counting him as full black? can someone google the rock and figure out what he is? >> racist characters are what people fear and they will make these people as the bad guys. >> and what do americans feel more than ever right now? a mexican border jumper! >> mexico! mexico! yeah! here we go!
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hey! i'm going to take your job! i'm going to take your job! i'm going to take your job! >> why is it that wrestling doesn't have to be politically correct? >> because it's like a movie. professional wrestling has been the longest running episodic television in television history, being african-american was a gimmick. >> what do you think as characters such as virgil back in the day when he used to be the slave to the million-dollar man? >> that was racist. nobody seemed to say anything then. >> it's the world's soap opera. let's talk about virgil real quick. >> all right. do you think i should be afraid of him? >> there is something you should be afraid of. >> what? losing your wallet. he'll go in your wallet and take all your money out of it. >> come on. take my hand!
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by being the heel, you have to be able to accept what people say. >> i need an example. your name is ricky? es. i'm going to call you short dick rick. >> you don't know. i saw you taking a shower. you did not. ii would say i banged your wife, (bleep) your mother and made your grandmother watch, because you're supposed to hate me. >> i can't pussy foot around if i want the crowd to hate me. i'm bringing out the watermelon! (singing) the fans like this! but virgil, not so much.
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so what did i learn through all of this? wrestling is definitely racist, but the wrestlers don't give (bleep). >> if you don't like this television show, don't watch it. >> 'neath do the fans. this is the world's soap opera. >> most importantly of all, i learned what being head butted in the dick feels like. (audience reacts) >> larry: my thanks to ricky velez! and by the way, the entire match is up on our web site. so go to thenightlyshow.com to check out the exclusive footage. we'll be right back. automated voice: to file a claim, please state your name. carnie wilson. thank you. can you hold on? ♪ hold on for one more day really? hey, i know there's pain. why do you lock yourself up in these chains?
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♪ this would be so easy if you had progressive. our mobile app would let you file a claim and help you find one of our service centers where we manage the entire repair process. things will go your way if you hold on. [ sighs ] someday somebody's gonna make you wanna turn around and say goodbye. ♪ say goodbye no, you just made it weird. wow! this toilet paper rnew charmin ultra strong, dude. cleans so well it keeps your underwear cleaner. (secretly) so clean you could wear them a second day. tell me i did not just hear that! (sheepishly) i said you could not that you would! new charmin ultra strong with its washcloth-like texture, helps clean better than the leading flat-textured bargain brand. it's 4 times stronger, and you can use up to 4 times less. it cleans better. you should try it, "skidz." we all go. why not enjoy the go with charmin? ♪
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there's no "deep couch sitting." definitely not good for my back. this is the part i really don't like right here. (doorbell) what's that? a package! it's a swiffer wetjet. it almost feels like it's moving itself. this is kind of fun. that comes from my floor? eww! this is deep couch sitting. [jerry bell iii] deep couch sitting! i'm s(ding)g. we've been compromised! don't let hunger kill your game. hot pockets brings you new snack bites. bite-size hot pockets sandwiches with 100% real cheese.
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>> larry: welcome back! i'm here with my panel. you can see him performing live this friday at 8:00 p.m. at the highline ballroom, "the nightly show" contributor rory albanese. (cheers and applause) you can see her perform at the new york comedy festival this thursday at 7:30 p.m., comedienne and cabaret performer bridget everett. (cheers and applause) and he's the c.e.o. of the planetary society, and his new book "unstoppable: harnessing science to change the world" is out today. bill nye the science guy!
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(cheers and applause) and for everyone at home, join our conversation right now on twitter @nightlyshow using the hashtag "tonightly." now, bill, your book on climate change just came out, and you -- congratulations. >> thank you. >> larry: you're welcome. i know you have your own take on things, but other researchers have predicted there will be no fish in the ocean by 2048. sea levels will rise 38 feet and put cities like new york underwater, and climate change will leave over half a billion people homeless. do environmental scare tactics go too far? >> no. >> larry: i believe that fish thing, i'm just saying. >> the word "no fish in the ocean," humans take a lot of fish out of the ocean. but here's why i say they haven't gone far enough, because we're still talking about it rather than getting to work! (cheers and applause) >> larry: did you just acknowledge that some of it is
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(bleep) but it's effective (bleep)? >> no. when somebody says -- a couple of things. >> larry: yeah. when somebody says no fish in the ocean, zero fish, that's kind of an exagg right there. >> larry: no, that's good science right there, man! (cheers and applause) >> but furthermore, also, in addition, to continue, for those of you into significant digits, when someone says 2048 as opposed to 2047 or 2046 1/2 or 2051 3/4, let's take a big breath, in 50 years there could be a lot of less fish in the ocean and we could have a lot less sushi. >> you're scaring me. it does seem like a huge exagg. if you want americans to be
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impacted, you say, you know this shrimp at red lobster? it's going to end! >> my point is we can address these problems. we can -- change the world! (cheers and applause) >> larry: and i always wonder if the average person -- bridget, the average person -- doesn't the average person think a lot of things are too much of a hassle? it's so hard to keep so many things in our head -- recycling. >> but the beauty about recycling is you can still be a lazy asshole. you can go out every friday night, get (bleep) faced, (bleep) in the back of the cab, but when you go home, remember to put your bottles in, instead of the trash -- >> you don't have to change your lifestyle. >> you don't.
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in fact -- >> larry: what do you think is the biggest resistance? >> the fossil fuel industry. they've worked really hard to introduce this idea that scientific uncertainty plus or minus .48% is the same as plus 100%, and that's wrong. i want us to move forward to embrace wind power and solar power. (cheers and applause) half the people in the u.s. live in the eastern time zone and huge, unexploited energy resources, wind off the east coast. you've heard the word continental shelf? >> larry: absolutely. i say it every day. >> we can put winter out a few kilo meters -- >> wrong country, nye!
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kilometers! you lost me! i don't know what you're talking about! metric, metric. >> 2,000 two-liter pop bottles stacked in there. >> larry: i wondered if electric cars were too ugly. they're so cool! have you seen a tesla? >> they're so cool! my claim, is after you've had an electric car, you will never go back. it costs about a fifth as much to run an electric car as a gas-powered car. you don't want the freakin' gas in the car after that. (cheers and applause) >> larry: no, i agree! maybe people would start paying attention if megyn kelly hopped on the hood of a hybrid, rolled around, spread legs, you know, (laughter)
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>> larry: we're only one country, right? how can we get the rest of the globe or are we the ones lagging? >> we are the ones lagging. my claim, furthermore, if the u.s. were leading, everybody would be on board! (cheers and applause) >> is there a way to harness bill nye. >> larry:. you like bill nye, we get it! (cheers and applause) >> lithium batteries, do we have a problem? >> overmining lithium! ahhh! >> larry: how do we solve that problem? >> we'll figure it out! don't throw in the towel. >> don't be worried about lithium! >> i already took the cyanide tablet! >> that's a solvable problem. if we're optimistic.
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(cheers and applause) >> larry: that's our show! i want to thank our panelists rory albanese, bridget everett and bill nye. bill nye the science guy! (cheers and applause) stay tuned for @midnight with chris hardwick. goodnightly, everyone! (cheers and applause) ♪ >> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah! (cheers and applause) ♪
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>> trevor: welcome to "the daily show"! i'm trevor noah. thank you for joining us! our guest tonight, pras is joining us, ladies and gentlemen! (cheers and applause) >> trevor: big news out of missouri, the midwest of the midwest. as you may know, last weekend, football players at the university of missouri went on strike after university president tim wolfe refused to take action after horribly racist incidents including somebody painting swastika on a dorm wall using feces. yeah, they weren't impressed, the president did nothing. i want to say congratulations to the students because this morning, tim wolfe, the president, actually resigned, yeah! (cheers and applause) and you realize, black people, this is hiewfnlgt you understand what this means? like if you want to change something in american, just threat ton take the black people out of sports. because if there is one

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