tv The Daily Show Comedy Central May 1, 2018 1:35am-2:06am PDT
but even so, woodhouse-- [gulping sound] [glass breaking] i'm going to miss the shit out of you. all right. i'll see you, i don't know, next week or-- eh, you know what? let's play it by ear. [patting sound] [music playing] [car engine sound] [car door closing] [keys jingling] what the-- hello? hello? hey! where the hell are you guys? hello? hello? wait, what's this? dear policeman-- [mumbling]
thank you so much for tuning if! take a seat! come on, no, no! no! that's amazing, but no! i'm trevor noah. thank you so much for tuning in. our guest tonight, the poetry editor of the "new yorker" out with a new book on what it means to be brown, kevin young is joining us, everyone! keepers but first -- but first, today, president trump was at the white house hosting president's bu boo buhari of ni. but trump probably thought he was meeting with ray charles. remember when trump called african countries shit holes? that came up. >> did you address his comments earlier this year when he reportedly used vulgar language to describe african nations? >> i'm not sure about, you know, the validity or whether that allegation against the president was true or not, so the best
thing for me is to keep quiet. >> we didn't discuss it, and you do have some countries that are in very bad shape and very tough places to live in. >> trevor: as i said -- shit holes. ( laughter ) i like how trump thinks he's making it betterrer by saying the same thing and then just changing the language. like he's in the access van going, and then you grab them by the lady flower. ( laughter ) and then the nigerian president tried not to say anything. almost as if trump tried to make him sign an n.d.a. i'm sorry, i already spent the $150,000. it's already gone. sorry about that. ( applause ) moving on to other news, many people have accused paul ryan as being a complete disaster as speaker of the house which is why politicians on both sides
are happy to see him leave. this weekend paul ryan said i'm not done yet. >> house chaplain father conroy was fired by paul ryan, father conroy believes it's because of a specific prayer in november when he prayed for lawmakers to keep in mind disparities when it comes to tax reform. >> may this guarantee there are not winners and losers under new tax laws but benefits shared by all. >> paul ryan said he heard complaints conroy was not meeting lawmakers' spiritual needs. >> trevor: wow, the house chaplin might have gotten fired for praying poor people not get screwed over by the tax bill. damn. i never saw someon saw someone t
(bleep) so hard. you need a priest in this congress, you need an exorcist. he's probably walking through the capitol saying, begone, demon! i'm ted cruz. like i said, begone, demon! ( laughter ) ( applause ) in the past few months we've covered multiple stories about north korea. the stories switched from we're all going to die! to we're all going to live peacefully together! north korea today another big step in that direction. >> the leaders with north korea and south korea stunned the world with their agreement to seek peace after six decades. >> kim jong un said he's prepared to abandoned his nuclear weapons f if the united states agrees to formally end the korean war and not invade his country. >> trevor: all kim jong un wants is a promise from donald trump -- which is risky.
a promise from donald trump is one of the most worthless things you could ask for. might as well ask for tickets to one of bill cosby's upcoming shows. ( audience reacts ) now although this was a summit about kim jong un giving up some of his power, there were moments that reminded us even without nukes he has plenty of dictator swag to spare. >> as the day rolled on, more extraordinary images continued, kim's limousine scooting back and forth across the dividing line, his personal guards running alongside. ( laughter ) oh, man! i'm sorry, man. you know you have too much power when your car has its own entourage. how are you going to make your body guards do synchronized jogging alongside your car? it makes you less safe because the car can only go as fas as the guys can run, and when you get to where you're going you
have a team of body guards too tired to save his life. he's got a gun, you jump behind me, i'm tired. ( laughter ) when i saw it it was, like, do they have to do this all the time, like in the drive-through at del taco they're still there with the guy? ( laughter ) i like picturing these guys when kim is trying to parallel park. he's got nine guys with the car going you're god, good, whoa, whoa, you hit jerry! you hit jerry! ( laughter ) but once the limo 500 was over, it was time for kim jong un to get exercise of his own. >> the the two leaders seemed to have an instant rapport the minute kim jong un made history by becoming the first north korean leader to step foot in the south. in a brief diplomatic dance, he invited president moon to cross the military demarcation line back into the north. >> trevor: it may look funny but we just witnessed a giant moment in history. this is the first time the leaders stepped foot in each
others country. you know there is a part of kim jong un who wanted to be, please, step into my country -- i got him! ( laughter ) the summit put kim in such a big news he made a huge change on the spot. >> north korea is also changing its time zone to match south korea's. back in 2015, north korea set its clocks back half an hour and that became known as pyongyang time. >> the move was made at the proposal of kim jong un who found it painful to see two clocks indicating different times on the wall of the summit venue. >> trevor: that's right, kim jong un moved his entire country's tame forward half an hour, clearly somebody's watched infinity war. it's a dick move for anyone with an appointment in north korea. you didn't plan it, you just announced it out of nowhere. i'm here for the job interview. sorry, sir, 3:00 didn't happen today. ( laughter ) and you know what i realized this weekend, we see kim all the time, but we almost never hear
him speak. ( kim jong un speaking ) >> trevor: okay. i don't care what anyone says, that is not his real voice. that is not how he speaks. he's totally pulling a batman now. he knows everyone is watching -- we have to have peace in gotham -- i mean north korea. alfred, i need the batmobile and the 12 guys running next do it. ( laughter ) whatever the reason, it was nice to see kim jong un getting along with someone. kim and moon jae-in got along to well it gave us a an idea for a dating site. >> being a dictator can be lonely. nobody understands you. you work long hours, and i've had all your relatives killed. you may wonder if there's anyone for you. well, wonder no more at
okaycommander.com we'll set you up with world leaders of all types. leaders you can meet with, plant trees, take long walks on bridges and hold hands for a very, very long time. so log on to okaycommander.com. you've got nothing to lose but your nukes. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: that's love, man. that's love. now, if the north korea talks end up in kim actually giving up his nukes, this would be one of the greatest peace deals we've ever seen brokered which is why, believe it or not, zeke's president says president trump deserves the nobel peace prize because he says this never would have happened if trump hadn't played bad cop, like really bad cop, like worst cop ever, like i'll let you borrow my gun for
$5 cop. ( laughter ) trump winning any prize is an idea mega supporters love. >> i remember it was rough three or four months ago -- ( audience chanting ) >> that's very nice -- "nobel ." >> trevor: that has to be the world's first "mobil peace prize" chants. his crowds will chant anything, they will be at a funeral, like, condolences! always in our hearts! always if our hearts! south korea's president is glad to share the glory. trump agrees except for the share part. >> i had one of the fake news groups this morning. ( booing ) they were saying, what do you think, uh, president trump had i'll tell you what -- like, how about everything?
and sourced from the finest farms. this is michelob ultra pure gold a beer like no other, with a pure, refreshing taste. xfinity x1 customers can "vote for the voice."g, i'm gonna vote for... unless, kelly clarkson, you're a coach, because, you know, that wouldn't be fair. [ whispering ] whatever. which artist will you vote for? vote for...
>> trevor: welcome back! you know, we have a lot of laughs here at "the daily show," but comedy isn't just about jokes, it's also about being polite and respecting authority. ( laughter ) unfortunately, it seems that some comedians like michele wolf don't understand that. now, if you are new to the show, michele wolf used to be a writer and contributor here until last december when she left to host her own show on netflix. at the time i was very happy for her but that was before last weekend. >> president trump calling for
an end to the white house correspondents dinner. this personal jab at the white house secretary seated on stage. >> i think she's very resourceful. like, she burns facts and then she uses that ash to create a perfect smok smokey eye. >> since when has it been okay to make cheap jokes about a woman's appearance? >> so incredibly disrespectful, it was shameful and disgusting. >> i thought the language was filthy. it was really over the line, x-rated. >> it was a complete disgrace there wasn't a single person on thonthe podium that interruptedt woman as that filth came out of her mouth. >> trevor: yeah, like, why isn't the secret service jumping in front of those jokes? ( laughter ) but it wasn't funny because michele should have had the decency not to comment on a woman's appearance for any way, shape and form. she's a comedienne, not the president. >> donald trump on the defense after attacking carly fiorina.
saying look at that face would you look at that. >> she weighed 118 pounds and went up to 160 or 70, so this is somebody who likes to eat. >> she said i made inappropriate advances. you take a look. look at her. look at her words, you tell me what you think. i don't think so. >> i would fire rosy. i would look at her in that fat, ugly face of hers and i would say, rosey, you're fired. >> trevor: that's how you insult a woman's face. michele wolf was talking about makeup. trump is just insults. get do to it! i know comedy is hard to set rules for but trump people gets it. joking is no excuse if the
comedian is insulting the president. only if the insults are coming from the president. >> trump insists thoapts call obama the founder. >> he is the founder of i.s.i.s. >> i think the title he gave founder was the point of sarcasm. donald trump made that comment tongue-in-cheek about going a and getting her e-mails. >> the entire world knows the president is kidding. >> the president never implied the secretary of state was not incredibly intelligent. he made a joke, nothing more than that. maybe you guys should get a sense of humor and try it some time but he simply made a joke. >> trevor: exactly. get a sense of humor, snowflakes. now, get out of the way. we have to put up this plaque, in memory of the brave people roasted to death by michelle wolf, #never forget. i agree with president trump and team, comedians should be held to a higher standard than he.
disappearing, but ai can help us bring history back to life. to recreate historical sites, we had to stitch hundreds of pictures one by one. with microsoft ai, we are able to stitch hundreds of thousands of pictures in one night. i need to make it possible, because it's so important to do it. with artificial intelligence you can go in, you can experience it. ♪ brillando, brillando, brillando! ♪ ♪ juntos siempre vamos a estar ♪ brillando brillando brillando. ♪ ♪ brillando ♪ ♪ soñando. ♪ ♪ bailando, soñando, brillando ♪ here's to pizza hut. celebrating 60 years under one roof. here's to original pan... to stuffed crust... and tomorrow's... what will they think of next? here's to the big new yorker, bigfoot pizza... and inspiring us all to read with book it! here's to every night feeling like friday. and to breakfast the next morning.
here's to the... first online pizza order. pizza. here's to the place we grew up. and the pizza right fielders still love today. so raise a slice to another 60 years, and all the ways... no one outpizzas the hut. i just got a pretty sweet deal on this card for mother's day. nice. i got a sweet deal on this iphone at verizon for my mom. i'm not done shopping. i just start with a card and then work up to... (vo) this mother's day, get up to 50% off the latest iphone on us. unlimited is only as good as the network it's on. (alarm ringing) wake up to great tasting flavor. (alarm stops) belvita breakfast biscuits. flavors like delicious blueberry or decadent chocolate, gently baked in a tasty biscuit. (alarm ringing) belvita breakfast biscuits. it's time to taste the day. give us a grilled adobo chicken. give us a hand-mashed guac. give us a fresh tomato salsa. what's that spell? nothing, because these ingredients make burritos not words.
this is how many people were born here. this many are fifth generation. this is how many are named hiawatha kitty mcgee. he keeps the town dry. they'd prefer it a little wet. this many are proud of what we make here. this is how many will go around bragging about it. this is our town. if you can't get here, just look for one of our postcards. we send them all over. they look like this. we send them all over. ♪ ♪ oh -- you're bad enough to me ♪ ♪ bad enough that we ♪ always have something to get over ♪ ♪ oh -- but when the night is deep ♪ ♪ you find me in the streets ♪ asking me - to come over ♪
>> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show"! my guest tonight is the poetry editor at the "new yorker" and director of the schomberg center for research in black culture and author of a new book of poetry called "brown." please welcome kevin young. ( cheers and applause ) ♪ welcome to the show. >> thanks for having me.
>> trevor: a beautiful book of poems with a title that says so much, "brown." why the title "brown"? >> i was thinking of all kinds of brown fess. james brownness, john brown, also linda brown of brown v board who played piano at my church in topeka, kansas growing up. >> trevor: wow. >> she was right there. i learned at an early age in history, she was part of the case that changed our whole nation, desegregated our schools and so much more, and there was history right in front of me singing. so she was a beautiful singer and beautiful person. >> trevor: it's a name many people have in america, a name many people adopted and were given. in many ways, "brown" in america signifies so much. "brown" can determine what kind of job a person gets. "brown" can determine what schools you go to and what type of loans you get. is there when brown was so important when writing about
this black culture and experience in this book of poems? >> yes. it had many resonances. i just love the word, of course, but also i thought about how can i go from prince to the personal, which is what i get to in the book. i was thinking a lot about history. i'm obsessed with the music of history and the history of music and both those things came together in the book and that word. >> trevor: when you write your poems, some are extremely short and others span pages. does this come to you when it's just this is two lines and i'm done or do you quit or are you thinking about it from the beginning? this one poem is my favorite one, an ode to big pun, an it's just two lines. >> he has the great song, i'm not a player, i'm not a player, i just crush a lot. i decided to say i'm not a player, i just wish a lot.
it's an ode to him and a pun. am i being too obvious? ( laughter ) ( applause ) >> trevor: you wrote money road which centers around emmett till which took a twist for others where the woman who is the reason why he got in trouble came out on her death bed and said i lied, he tid not do anything. you wrote a poem in the book before it happened and in the poem you said, did he whistle, you said whistled or smiled or did nothing. was that just prophetic or something you always believed? was it something tied into brownness as a whole, the idea of being falsely accused? >> i think it's part of brownness. i'm shocked that we believe -- we realize obviously lynching was terrible and he was lynched for supposedly saying something, but why do we even believe this
little part of the story? i think it comes up in starbucks, they had to do something wrong. it's hard for us to believe that racism could be full of blame and the person receiving the brunt of it could have nothing, no blame. >> trevor: right. as someone who studies black culture, a lot of people are confused about what that means. what is black culture? does it have a culture or does it come from africa, caribbean, its. >> racial is a fixism but racism isn't. there is that. then blackness comes from african culture, the mix of caribbean culture. what i love about the schomberg center for research in black culture is we study global black culture and experience. we have been in harlem for 93 years and we were part of the first harlem renaissance and we're thinking about in new renaissance now happening in film and poetry and art. to think about it holistically, that's how i think about culture. >> trevor: when you look at
kanye west now, is that a part of black culture? how does that qualify? >> until last week, he was, but now -- ( laughter ) ( applause ) no, i'm kidding. no, i'm kidding, kidding. no, i think we have a big tent. that's what's interesting. >> trevor: right. >> there is a big tradition of black conservatism, of course, but there is also a tradition of humaneness, of thinking about everyone under this aegis. this is why i love that, the schomberg center for research in black culture, it's not just thinking about african-american, not just african by the african diaspora as well. you know, we love having you as part of our, you know, dreams. >> trevor: let me ask you this before i let you go. "brown" poems is a book that encompasses so much, and it's beautiful storytelling. it speaks to brown not just from the inside but all sides. >> sure. >> trevor: what do you think
is the story you want to tell? >> i think it's the story about america and history and how history is both personal and public, and, for me, we're swimming in it. it's like we're fish and we don't know we're wet. but how do we think about history maybe in an active way? for me, looking back, growing up in kansas and having linda brown there, it meant a lot to realize opinions in a place hughes also lived and a place unlike kansas but it was filled with blackness and brownness. >> trevor: a fantastic book. thanks for being on the show. >> tanks for having me. >> trevor: "brown" is available now. kevin young. we'll be right back