tv The Daily Show Comedy Central June 12, 2018 11:00pm-11:31pm PDT
♪ >> from comedy central's world news headquarters in nork, this is "the dailyw" with trevor noah. ( cheers and applause ) ♪ >> trevor: welcome to "the daily show"! m trevor noah!uch for tuning in! thank you, everybody! take a seat, take a seat, take a seat, let's get into it. let's get into it. my guest tonight, the mayor of los angeles, eric garcetti is here! ( cheers and applause ) we don't have time to waste. let's get straight into it, people. what a historic day. north korea and the united
states meeting for the first time ever, and this is right up there with all the other great moments in diplomacy. reagan and gorbachev, arafat and rabin, starbucks and black people. this is huge! ( laughter ) before we even start, we've to , right? we said the man couldn't do it, we said his temp would blow up the summit, but yesterday he provveryone wrong and turned the nuclear summit into singapore into a huge win forf,r pride and give it a leader who's much smarter than we thought, kim jongn, everybody! give it up for kim jong un! huh? huh? ( applause ) because, i mean, let's be honest, people, this dude crushed it yesterday. i know everyone's focus is going to be on trump but this summit belonged to little kim, he was the bell of the ball! think about it, the government of china paid for his private plane.the government of singapod for his hotel, and the president
of the united states flew to meet him on his side of the world! this guy was treated like the world's biggest divirginia he probably had one of those riders in his contract that said no green m&ms in the dressing! he's, like, you take all the green m&ms and you send them to a labor camp! mm-hmm! ( laughter ) it's crazy tohink a few monthsay dezteed. on the subway car of life he was the guy in the corner clipping his nails. but as soon as he touched down in singapore, the panties came flying off. >> from the her mitt kingdom to the grand stage, north korean leader kim jong un soaking up the spotlight. >> i did noteim coming by. >> couldn't believe it was happening. >> kim taking selfies with his host on a tour around town. the ruthless tyrant cheered on by spectators getting the rock star treatment. >> trevor: fame turns people
into such idiots. one minute, people were, like, did you hear kim jong un slaughters entire families and imprisoned their children? then it's, oh, my god, kim! over here, kim! selfie! he looked at me! it's the best day of my life! ( laughter ) people are screaming for a brutal tyrant like he's the newest beb of b.p.s. kim jong un is even surprised. he's, like, i'm used to screaming but not happy screaming! ( laughter ) no one in singapore wasn't impressed with kim's famous running body guards. >> kim creating a spectacle the body guards keeping pace alongside his limopicked by the district tater, chosen for fitness, martial art skills and even looks. >> trevor: if you need running body guards, i understand choosing people for their fitness but for their looks? why does he care? was kim jong un embasing out of the window one time and like,
oooh! who's that guy? from now on, hotties only! ( laughter ) that is a hard job, you have to admit, the good news for these guys, now kim jong u a celebrity, which means they're all going to be become more famous, too. in fact, i think it's only a matter of time until they all their own sporessership deals. ♪ >> people ask me why do you run? why do you train so hard? people ask, why you? i say, because he only picks the fittest and best looking. people aske, why don't you ju ride in a car, too? i tell them, i don't know. i've asked. kim likes his space -- i guess. ♪ ♪ ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: i need to get a pair of those. but it turns out kim's biggest
admirer wasn't in those crowds outside. no, fan boy number one was right there at the summit. >> earlier, before their historic sitdown in singapore, the two leaders sizing each other up with ake. >> trevor: yeah, you heard that right. president trump said meeting kim jong u was his great honor. i mean, then again, when you've appeared in a mcdonald's commercial talking to grimace, everything seems like an honor. i get it. i get it. but this alone is what north korea has been pining for for decades, equal standing with the american president, shaking hands, their flags side by side. some may have seen that andthoue for now, but when he gets kim alone in that negotiation room, he's going to denuke his nuts off! but it turns out only one man lost his nuts in that room. >> trump and kim signed a joint document committing to work towards "complete denuclearization of thecine
peninsula." the agreement is short on specifics like whether the denuclearization will be verifiab a irreversible. >> there is nothing new in this agreement these are vague assertions from north korea. >> the piece of paper that got signed yesterday is weak. this is not a strong piece of paper. >> trevor: so hold up. donald trump flewoss world to singapore and all he got was kim jong un saying, i'll think about giving up my nukes. they could have done that over text. because you realize kim didn't commit to anything. he basically facebook rsvp'd a nuclear deal. that'se did. ( laughter ) while kim gave up nothing major, he got the american president to give up a lot >> president trump making a massive concession, agreeing to stop joint military exercises between the united states and south korea, exercises that greatly annoyed the north korean leader. south korea caught offguard by the president's announcement, responding that they need to figure out the accurate meaning
and intention behind the statement. >> trevor: good luck with that, south korea, yeah, good luck. we have been trying to figure out trump's accurate meaning and intention since the day he stepped off that escalator, yeah. like mexicans are rapists. does that mean they're rapists? ( laughter ) this is incredible. kim jong un went up against the world's greatest negotiate, the man who literally hired someone to write "the art of the deal" and got him to give up something. kim did a yesterday die mind trick on trump. trump is like, yes,ly stop military exercises and i will also pick you up from the airport, it will be fun. ( laughter ) kim jong un, he own the summit so hard. by the end, he'd even turned the leader of the free world into his personal hype man. >> kim jong un, as you know, has killed family members, has starved his own people. why are you so comfortable calling him very talented? >> well, he is very talented. anybody that takes over a
situation like he did at 26 years of age and is able to run it and run it tough -- >> kim is a brutal dictator. he runs labor camps, assassinated members of his own family. do you trust a killer like that? >> his country does love him. his peo a greater greater great fervor. they will end up with very strong a country that has people that are so hard-working and so industrious. >> trevor: so you saw peopl enslaved in labor camps and thought, man, these people love their jobs. really? this is what happens when you're friends with kanye west. ( audience reacts ) i'm not saying president trump shouldn't have negotiated with kim jong un at all, but there is a big gap between being civil the freddy krugers of humanng right. the only part of that summit that didn't seem to go kim's way
is when donald trump slipped up and appeared to make a fat joke about his new friend. >> get a good picture of everybody so we'll look nice and handsome and think,erfect. ( camera clicking ) ( laughter ) >> trevor: the look on kim jong un's face is lake a scene out of "the office." you can see hs thinking, make look thin? you mean i'm not thin? why didn't anyone tell me? was death camps? why didn't you tell me? i guess trump's perspective this is what he got out of the summit. when he gets back to the white house, his people will be, like, you sold america down the river but he wil be, like, yeah, but did you see that fat joke? worth it!
( cheers and applause ) >>r: welcome back to "the daily show." so the reviews are now in for yesterday's north korea summit, and if you thought audiences were disappointed by solo, that was nothing compared to this. >> i'm very disappointed by the stance of the meeting, to be honest. >> i'm deeply skeptical that kim jong un and president trump are going to be besties and this is going to suddenly change the world. if president obama had done this, i would be crushing him today. >> this is the weakest statement i have ever seen ce out o any engagement with north the president's own failure to really, you know, crack his briefing book has really cost the united states dealer. >> trevor: okay, first of all, you haters need to calm down, all right? there was a real chance this thing could have ended with a nuclear fire ball, a little gratitude would be nice, okay? as it turns out, the problem
trump's approach wasn't that he failed to prepare, was that he prepared for the wrong thing. you see, the world wanted a nuclear summit, but trump brought a sales pitch. >> to help close the deal here, president trump used his skills as a real estate developer. >> as an example, they have great beaches. you see that whenever they're exploding their canons into the ocean, right? i said, look at that, wouldn't that make a great condo? i explained, i said, instead of doing that, you could have the best hotels in the world right there. think of it from a real estate perspective. >> trevor: this man is really special because while the rest of the world was focusing on the missiles north korea was launching, trump's attention was on the beaches they came from. he's the kind of person that watches saving private ryan and cries about what happened to the beach -- what a tragedy, so much sand ruin schd no! ( laughter ) what i'm about to tell you seems like a joke but it's true. trump's big plan was to try to convince kim jong un to quit his
life of crime and join the dazzling world of real estate development and he made a video for the little dictator to watch on an ipad. i'm going to be honest, this video that trump really played for kim jong un felt less like a diplomatic presentation and more like a florida time share pitch. >> a storyf opportunity. a new story. a new beginning. two leaders, one destiny. a new world can begin today, when a man is presented with one chance that may never be repeated. one of friendship, respect and good will. will he shake the hand of peace and enjoy prosperity like he has never seen? one moment, one choice. what if... the future remains to be written. ( laughter ) >> trevor: i feel like immediately after that trump
turned on the lights and he was like, huh? huh? huh? because, i'm sorry, even if that was a real real estate video, i wouldn't buy what they're selling. none of it makes sense. does a random bck guy dunking, a cameo from sylvester stallone, i don't know why. what the hell is with the horses? at does that even mean? give up your nukes and your country will be overrun with horses. ( laughter ) it feels like trump's pinterest just came to life. what does this mean? it wasn't just the video that made this feel like a giant sales pitch. even when trump tried to break down the possible permeations of the deal he still only knew the language of a condominium huckster. >> i hold him, you might not want this, you might want a much smalle version of this. you may want something but a smaller version. you may not want that with the trains and everything, you know, super everything at the top, and maybe you won't want that. it's going to be up to them. >> trevor: you know what? let me just put you in a
one-bedroom demock circumstances see how you like it. if you love it, in five years you will come back and say, do you have a human rights package, and we'll do that. you can convert the labor camp into a wine cellar, we can work on it. ( laughter ) trump didn't need to prepare for a nuclear summit because he thought his million-dollar sales pitch would carry him through. and he could always fall back on his other sll. think, honestly, he's going to do these things. i bhai wrong. i may stand before you in six months and say, hey, i was wrong. i don't know that i'll ever admit that, but i'll find some kind of an excuse. ( laughter ) >> trevor: ah, truth trump, my favorite trump. he basically just admitted this whole deal is as shaky as one of his casinos. only if this thing falls apart, instead of bankruptcy, there's a nuclear war. we'll be right back ( cheerse ) woooooo!!!
( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." my guest tonight is a democrat serving his second term as mayor of los angeles. please welcome mayor eric garcetti. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome to "the daily show." >> thank you. >> trevor: thank you for being here. before we get into los angeles and everything that's going on there, there is major news of the day. >> a slow day. >> trevor: as the mayor of los angeles, is this a great day knowing you're no longer going to be nuked by north korea? >> it's a pretty good day for los angeles, a very surreal day,
and if peace actually breaks out on thecine peninsula, it helps us get pack to our true enemy, canada ( laughter ) i mean, have you had poutine before? >> trevor: i have. >> it's, like, an assault on your intestines. >> trevor: i think you're getting it from the wrong place. from your coast, not that great. but from montreal, you will invade them for the poutine. >> we will do it. >> trevor: but, yeah, it is a good day for l.a. let's talk about the actual l.a. tuive mayor of los angeles from 2013. >> yep. >> trevor: los angeles is at the epicenter of many stories. congratulations, you just got the olympics. >> yes, for 2028. >> trevor: going to be hosting the olympics. ( cheers and applause ) now, that is something that you bid for, that is an achievement, but you alwaysd the reports of how the olympics comes in and likely crushes the infrastructure of a city, or they leave you in debt rushings not worried about the financial ramifications? >> i think that's pretty rational for many cities, but l.a. is different. we've done the olympics twice
before, this is our first time for paralympics. in '84e saved theo lirntion, turned it into mon. built the tennis courts with the williams sisters. russell westbrook went to a basketball league at a league the olympics paid for. it was great to see my city. i have a daughter myia and i thought if i could put us on the horizon where americans realize we are strongest when we are engaged with the world not closed off to it, i think that one a great legacy to leave behind. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: wow, a really exciting image. things have changed from 1984, though. now the traffic might stop people from getting to watch any of events take place. do you think any of the jobs you hopefully will create from the
infrastructure boost will try to alleviate l.a.'s homelessness problem? los angeless genuinely struggling with one of the high homelessness. you've called ate hiewrmt humann crisis. do you know how to solve this? >> i think everybody ton street, i spend a lot of time talking to my fellow angelenos on the street, they all experience trauma whether divorce, mental health crisis, substance abuse, coming home from war, emans paight from foster care, a combination of trauma and right high rent. we have to build more housing. we saw the first down tick i homelessness after nine years of increases. l.a. passed measures to build 10,000 new units of housing and give services to them. this is a national problem, and we need national leadership. there is a mental health emergency out there. >> trevor: los angeles as a city has received a lot of
criticism where they say a sanctuary city. some would aue l.a. puts the well being of undocumented immigrants before angelenos. some would say we understand as a mayor you wanto be compassionate but is it fair to harbor these teampeople when they are a drain on the city. how do you respond to that? >> those are dog whistles people blow to try to divide us. i'm a grandson of an immigrant who came from mexico. he was one year o in the mexican revolution when his father was killed. my grandmother picked him up and took him across the border. he wasn't a citizen. in world war ii he left his family behind and fought for his country and got his citizenship as a result. when we think through the issue, we have to find our hearts. what if he had been separated from his mother at the border like the policies we have today? what if he hadn't been granted citizenship? i wouldn't be here.
i'm not going to stop listening to police over politicians about the way to earn trust of the immigrants. i'm too pro family to say we should be separating parents from children. we should be using federal resources to go after dangerous people, not mothers and fathers and grandmothers and people who want to become americans and we need to fix this broken immigration system now. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: the talk that s been swirling around you understandably has been that you are preparing to run for president of the united states 2020. ( cheers and applause ) is this your beginning, your honoyourjourney? >> i think any patriot now is called to taking this country back, and i think anybody who will be at least 35 years old in 2020 should be considering
for an ice-cold pepsi cola like getting buckets. whether i'm breaking ankles... or breaking hearts. hey drew! it always brings the refreshment... and i've been drinking it a long time. hey drew... how old are you anyway, man? does it matter? uncle drew. in theaters,june 29th. the future tastes good. >> trevor: that's our show for tonight. thank you so much for tuning in. before we go, don't forget, if you live in l.a., the donald j. trump presidential twitter library will be in the museum again and free. for hours and location go to daily show.com/twitter library. that's our show. stay tuned... "the opposition with jordan klepper" is coming
up next. now here it is... your moment of zen. >> how do you ensure north korea is not all talk, no action? >> can we ensure anything? can i ensure you will be able to sit down properly when you sit down? you can't ensure anything. captioning sponsored by comedy central ( cheers and applause ) >> jordan: get ready, get set, get in here. it's already june 12, and my opponent tonight is journalist and podcast host, mike pesca. ( cheers and applause ) opposers, it is a bold new world. yesterday, president trump made history. no, not by legalizing big-game hunting on the white house lawn. heyost didn't notice. no, i'm talking about his trip to singapore for a historic peace summit with north korean dictator kim jong-un.