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tv   The Daily Show  Comedy Central  January 30, 2019 11:00pm-11:36pm PST

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that just might be our future. [ volcano gurgles ] together: ohh! ♪ >> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is daily show with trevor noah. (cheers and applause). >> trevor: oh, you're far too kind, welcome to the daily show, everybody, thank you for tuning n i'm trevor noah. our guest tonight, our guest tonight, fompler governor of new jersey and the man who narrowly avoided becoming dn ald trump's vice president, chris yiesie-- christie is joining us,
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everybody. also on tonight's show we've got good news for anyone whoever wanted to live inside their freezer. and once again, trump and intelligence don't mix. but first, let's catch up on today's headlines. the fyre festival. it is the greatest music concert that never happened. you have probably watched documentaries on hulu, on netflix that showed how this whole thing was the biggest scam from start to finish and if you haven't wamped them, please go and watch them. like i'm begging you, you have to watch these. i will do anything to get-- i will suck your [bleep] go and watch them. anyway, because many-- because many supermodels convinced people to pay for the festival by saying they would be there, many are now asking if those models should also be held legally responsible. >> cbs reports kendzal jenner and other top models can be spped after the fiasco over
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the fyre festival. several celebrities including hailey bieber and bella had ad were paid to appear in the for the 2017 festivities in the bahamas but the event was strand cancel strand hundreds of people. a judge signed offer on it, the models could be forced to turn over the money they made. >> trevor: okay, now look, i get why people are pissed but i don't know if you can go after the models because some conartists hired them to make an ad for a festival that didn't happen. the only thing they might be guilty of is being superhot and even then, i don't know. i need to see a lot more evidence. i don't know, i'm an impartial guy, that is what i am saying. the truth is making something look better in an ad that hand it is in real life is just advertising stvment like ads for spirit airlines show planes not falling apart in the sky but no one sues them. spirit airlines, we're the fyre festival of the sky. (laughter)
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speaking of viral scaments, the anti-vaccine movement, over the past 20 years there has been a growing number of people who believe that kids shouldn't get vaccinations because the vaccines are more dangerous than the diseases that they prevent. and clearly the diseases heard that and they were like oh, it's on. >> now the new fears about the growing measles outbreak, a state of emergency has been declared in washington state as the number of confirmed cases climbs to 35. >> the measles is spek tabling larly contagious. >> one thing that is important, if you do think you have the measles, do not go to the emergency room, you could infect others. just call your doctor first. >> when you call your doctor, your doctor is going to be like oh, now you want my advice. ha, ha, ha no, no, i'm joking, take two ds and call me in the among, these, yeah, these nuts. ha, ha. guys, i'm sorry. no one should be dieing from a disease that was cured 60 years ago. st 2019 and people are dying from measles? that as a society there are things we shouldn't die from any
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more, okay, measles is such a throwback disease. it is like being hit by a canon ball or getting run over by a chariot. that doesn't happen any more if you don't live in brooklyn, okay. (laughter) anyway moving on to another health-related story, you if know how sometimes you eat chicken nuggets and you think these taste like rubber, there might be a reason. >> for the second time there is a nationwide chicken nugget recall. tyson now recalling white meet pango chicken newing epts they could be con tam fated with bits of rubber. >> trevor: what? i dispt even understand what that means because like on the one hand that's gross but on the other hand, they're chicken nuggets. the rubber is probably the most nutritious part. and the story actually has huge implications. a chicken nugget recall could lead to a shortage. right, which could affect their number one customer. an thean all of a sudden trump is invading turkey. like turkeys are friends with chicken, folks, that is where they are hiding.
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finally moving on to some major international news. >> the world's oldest desert is home to one of the most listened to songs, africa by the band toto. ♪ the rain down in africa. ♪. >> the artist max seendzen top has set up a sound installlation in the namibian coastal desert to play on a loop in tribute to the soft rock classic. the installlation is powered by solar batteries to keep toto going for all eternity. >> trevor: wow. this is amazing. someone has invented an apple battery that lasts for more than a year, wow. and look, this art installlation sure sounds like a cool idea. but can you just imagine if you were lost in the desert, and then you hear music playing over the negotiation sand dune and are you like oh my god, i'm saved. i'm saved. somebody is there. and then oh no, it is just a phone playing music. and are you like at least can i call for help no, st just an
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ipod, no! i left the rain down in africa. what a cool song to die to all right, let's move on to our top story. this week there have been a ton of stories developing every day. congress is trying it to taryt vert-- avert another shutdown. britan is still on the brink of a disastrous brexit and venezuela is inching closer to civil war but fob cares about any of that today because st too damn cold. >> cities across the midwest are scrambling to protect people from this deadly polar vor text that is blasting the region with what is called the coldest air in decades. >> plunging to as low as 70 degrees below zero in some cities. it st so cold outside the u.s. postal service which almost never stops delivering suspending service in 11 mid western states, because of safety concerns. >> we can't say it enough, before it's all said and done the windchill here will feel like it's 50 to 60 degrees below, so if you-- can stay inside please do so t is
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important. >> trevor: yeah, we're all inside because we're not idiots. why are you outside, newsman. you know seriously i never get why reporters have to go into the bad weather to warn us about it. like just tell us from the studio. we believe you. like if you are sitting at the desk and you tell nea is cold, i'm not sitting at home s it though, let me see your nipples. (laughter) they don't do this for any other type of story, they are never like earlier today a man was shot in the leg and it looked like this. ba, ahhh. but the point is, it is incredibly cold in america right now. like supercold it is so cold that i looked in the mirror this morning and told myself to go back to africa. we're talking mine us 70. any time are you in negative numbers you know that things are out of hand. you realize when they made zero they thought that would be the lowest that is why st zero, if they thought it would be lower, they would have made that zero but show we reway below zero. in fact, right now america might be the coldest place on earth an
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beyond. >> people in the da coat'ses and northern minnesota saw windchills plummet to mine us 50. that is colder than the top of mount everest. >> colder that antarcticaa sigh beria and mounted ef res. >> solder in chicago than antarctica alaska or the north people. >> combined. >> believe it or not it is dually colder in some parts of the country than the surface of mars. >> trevor: goddam. colder than mars? i guess that manies it is really cold. cuz i got to be honest, have i no idea what the weather is on mars. if i had to guess, i would be like it's sandy, is that a weather strks that a thifnlgt i don't understand why they do this on the news. why are you using mars as a reference point, noun of vus been there it is colder than mars oh yeah, i spent summer in mars, it was really cold. i don't know what is happening on other planets. barely know about anything on earth and i live here. could you tell me mars was named after bruno mars and i would look like yeah, makes sense, he
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say popular guy. but the news is always explaining things things with mt random comparison, an asteroid is hurt elling to earth and it weighs as much as 5,000 elephants that is not helpful. no one knows what elephants is, plaryns don't, in african we marybure everything with elephants, as you can see this say very special property, 40 e8 fapts big, ah and it has a baby hypojacuzzi and are you thinking this probably costs three tigers, no, there is no tigers in africa, you racist. >> yeah, and if you don't understand what colder than mars means, don't worry, because maybe a few scientific dem strailings-- demonstrations will help. >> this say clear piece of glass, have i water in my hand, i will pour it on here, you sea that, look, st going to freeze instantly. you see it crystallizing right there, this cold, is absolutely no joke. >> i will pour water on barby's hair. we'll give it a few seconds. and will you see how fast her
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hair is going to freeze out here. >> one man turned this superfloz frozen banana into a make shift hammer. >> trevor: okay, this didn't teach me how cold it is, but it did teach me how weird this guy is. his wife is probably like honey, can you shovel the driveway and he's like, i can't i'm testing different fruits to see if they can be hammers. and after that i'm building a bird house out of ki-wis. now it goes without saying most of us are miserable when it is this cold. but apparently there is one group that is having a blast right now, the police. >> a sheriff's department in minnesota using the cold to freeze a uniform in place so it stands on its own. >> yeah, meanwhile some police officers in central illinois say they have caught the criminal responsible for this brutal weather. >> and they are not letting her go. >> elsa, the snow queen from frozen was taken into custody. >> police in missouri asking criminals to take a break
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because it's too cold to fight crime. >> trevor: that's right it is so cold that the police are sends out tweets asking criminals to please not commit any crimes. they are basically just asking the criminals to stop the crime for them. which is ridiculous, what is next, are they go just going to ask people to arrest themselves, just going to be like we're going to mail you a self-arrest quit kit, its that miranda rights, drug tests, drugs to plant on your severe and a bodycam but don't turn it on. it causes more troubles than it is worth, just keep it off, frus me. tbu st dangerous outside t is supercold so stay home if you can. stay warm if you go out and if you see someone in need please help them out. this is one of the most vuller in tbl-- vulnerable periods to anyone who doesn't have a place to say. right now there are 348s of people in harm away, wean that many people affect approximated, president trump has found a way to steal the spotlight. the presidency this and it prompts him to tweeted the following. in the beautiful midwest windchill temperatures are
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reaching mine us 60 degrees, the coldest ever recorded, in kosming days expected to get even colder. people can't last outside even for minutes. what the hell is going on with global waming. please come back fast. we need you. >> trevor: some brilliant analysis from french fry the science guy. yeah, according to the president, the cold snap is proof that global-- global waming isn't real. just like trump never stops. even the coldest day of the year, the rest of us are having a brain freeze and he's like nothing to freeze here. firing on all cylinders. i won't lie, i won't lie, let me tell you this, if i was ever trapped in the alps i would hope that i get trapped with trump, i won't lie, because the cold clearly doesn't affect him. i would probably be like, so, cold, we've got to do ssmg he would be you're right, we've got to build a wall, nancy pelosi, crooked hillary. >> trevor: i will be like i'm
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going to die. >> of course are you going to die, ms-13 coming over the border, they're coming. >> trevor: but once again the president of the unitied states is the leading voice of climate change denial so to help us clear these misconceptions please welcome back our senior science correspondent ronnie chieng, everybody. plaws (applause) plaws ronnie, can you explain to people like president 2ru6r7 how a cold snap dnt mean there is no global warming. >> no, drefer,-- trevor, i can't. i'm sick of this shit, rev he time trump sees an ice cube he is like where is the global warming and all of us journalists have tomorrow come on tv and explain the dirnses between weather and climate t is the simplest thing in the world, everyone understands it, kids get t dogs get it, even my idiot boss gets it. the only person who doesn't get st president frosty the slowman. >> trevor: ronnie, maybe if we keep explaining it trump will eventually understand, you know,
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the motto, no man, child, left behind. >> oh, really, trevor. this is it, this is-- we'll change his mind this time, sure, fine, here we go again. look, you see this. you see this line. it is global temperature, okay. and it is going up. it is going up. if there is going down, you would be right and we would be the dumb ass but it is go up, so you are wrong and are you the dumb ass, even if you flip the chart upside down it is still going up. up! so it doesn't matter if it is sometimes cold in cincinnati because the line keeps going the [bleep] up! up! sorry, trevor, tried but i can't do it any more. >> trevor: i think you explained that pretty perfectly. ronnie y chieng, everybody, well we'll be right back. plaws plawl
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love is now bigger than ever. plaws plawses. >> trevor: welcome back to the daily show. there are a lot of things that president trump inherited from president obama that we know he hates. >> the affordable care act, the white house vegetable garden, the container of cocobutter obama left behind in the bathroom. is he like this is ternl, it doesn't taste like cocoor butter. but what trump probably hated the most was intelligence officials who stayed on after obama left. >> do you think any intelligence agencies u.s. intelligence agencies are out to get you? >> well, certainly in the past it has been terrible. you look at brennan, you look at clapper, you look at hayden, you look at comey, you look at mccabe, you look at strozk and his lover, lisa page. >> trevor: it is so cute how trump lists all the number ofs
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of the deep state like they are sand's rain dee, you know brennan and claiper and hayden and comey but do you recall the most famous of all-- he just loves everybody. peter strozk and lisa page. but after cleaning house and firing his enemies trump's intelligence community is now lead completely by people he hand picked. although after yesterday, he might want to pick again. >> tonight top u.s. intelligence officials are openly contradicting president trump's assessment of some of america's most dangerous adversaries on on iran u.s. intelligence agencies say tay ron is still in the restarting its nuclear program. >> at the moment they are in cliensz. >> president trurch launching a remarkable series of attacks on his own top intelligence officials. he calls them quote extremely passive an naive about iran saying that the united states needs to be careful and suggesting, get this, perhaps intelligence should go back to school. >> trevor: go back to school
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intelligence community doesn't need to go back to school. they are intelligence. they know more than anyone. like they know what is in the presidential daily breeferring, not even the president knows what is in that. but i do understand why trump ised mad because yesterday his own i intelligence officials said everything he believes is bull shit. >> a striking dirchesz over one of the biggest issues looming over the white house, russia. >> i have president putin, he just said it's not russia. i will say this, i don't see any reason why it would be. >> we expect russia will continue to wage its information war against democracies and to use social media to attempt to divide our societies. >> and on isis. >> we have won against isis. >> isis is intent on resurgeoning and still commands thousands of fighters in iraq and syria. >> trevor: that is awkward. especially the part about isis because when he claimed victory trump was basically spiking the football and now the officials are like no, we have reviewed
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the touchdown, we're calling it back. also we're worried about your head trauma because you have been saying some crazy shit. and the most painful contradiction of all might have been the differences over north korea. >> and we have a good relationship with kim jung-un. no more rock epts, in more missiles, no more nuclear testing. >> we currently assess that north korea will seek to retain-- retain its wmd capabilities and is unlikely to completely give up its nuclear weapons and production capabilities. >> the regime is committed to developing a long-range nuclear armed missile that would pose a direct threat to the united states. >> trevor: oh man, this is heartbreaking, guys. trump is running around on the streets saying he loves kim and how much they are in love. and now his intelligence team is telling its whole world that kim is not that into him. the only way this would be more humiliating is if trump tried to hold kim's hand in public and
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kim just swatted it away. (applause). >> trevor: hashtag never forget. but look, but look, after yesterday t is very clear this two totally different views of the threats facing america today. and the american people, you have to make a choice. are you going to believe the heads of the cia, the fbi and the director of national intelligence? or the guy who doesn't believe in global waming. we'll be right back. (applause) ay. you gonna do this, or what? you've gotta do it. and keep doing it. ♪
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more permanent marker per swipe. try mr. clean magic eraser, for your impossible kitchen and bathroom messes. (applause). >> trevor: welcome back to the daily show, my guest tonight is
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a former federal prosecutor and governor of new jersey who ran for president and serveds ahead of president trump's transition team. his new book is called let me finish, trump, the kushner, bannon, new jersey and the power of in your face politics. please welcome governor chris christie. (applause) welcome back to the show. >> thank you. >> trevor: welcome back to the show, sir. >> happy to be back. >> trevor: interesting, you were the third guest on my show. >> i was. >> trevor: you were also one of the only-- in fact, you are the only republican who supports trump who has come back to the show post trump winning. >> huge bravery. >> trevor: so brave, chris. >> so brave. >> trevor: you had nothing to losek which helps. >> well, listen-- (laughter) sometimes that is when you are briffest, trevor. >> trevor: that is when are you bravest. >> never know. >> trevor: how do you feel about knees republicans who seem
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to be protrump or with him and then when they are leaving all of a sudden they are like he is the worst thing in the world it seems like bravery does happen when its people leave. >> yeah, when you don't have to look at him every day, i guess, i guess that is probably it. but you know, they were brave in the beginning, you know, and what they are doing now is just faux bravery. heuer that is the way it goes. >> trevor: hurricane sandy was for you one of the most seminal moments for you and your career. it is interesting because you went on this roller-coaster ride of approval ratings. hurricane sandy, around that time people said chris christie could be the next president of the united states. >> i recall that. >> trevor: yeah. and then awhile later like this picture was one of those that made you one of the most hated men. >> yeah. >> trevor: in the united states when like a beach was shut down and shut down and you were out on the beach with your family. >> uh-huh. >> trevor: what was that like, genuinely as a human being, like everyone loving you to feeling like everyone hates you. >> trying to make me cry.
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>> trevor: no, seriously. >> seriously, that is often what political life is like. you know, very rarely is there somebody in political life who does anything that is worth anything. >> trevor: right. >> that remains popular all the way flew. because if you are doing stuff that matters and needs to be done you are going to anger some people, you have to. because unless you are giving everything away, unless you are just saying yes to everybody, even if you don't mean t you will make some people angry. >> trevor: the book is really engaging and it is an interesting incite into the world that you have and trump has and the people around him have. especially when it comes to the kushners. because the way you lay it out in the book, you made it sound like jared kushner has the power in the white house, i mean. >> he is the most powerful person in the white house next to the president. >> trevor: and you argue that you didn't get the job as vice president because of jared kushner. >> sure, exactly why. listen, the wednesday night before the president, now president announced his running
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mate on a friday i was in washington d.c. working on the transition. he called me that night on the phone and said are you ready. i said ready for. what he said you know what i am talking about, you are ready. i said well, if you ask, i'm ready. about two hours later, a high level staff person on the campaign that was with him called me and said he just called the family and told them that it is going to it be you. 57bd jared an ivanka have said they are getting on a plane at 6 a.m. to indianapolis to come and talk to him and tell him he has to see mike pence again. so i don't know if it was jaryd who made sure that i wasn't vice president. but then they went to see pence and then i didn't get it. >> trevor: let me ask you this, let me ask you this. you are in a position as chris christie you are friends with donald trump, the man about to be president of the united states or has a good chance to be president. >> yes. >> trevor: you are engaging with him in debate prep, you talk about in the book you were out with this man and playing golf and the reason you are playing golf is because you realize that he does not want to sit down and read anything. so you think you can trick him into learning things before the next debate, essentially. >> not trick him but i-- when i
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began to understand and learn was that he learns much better verbally than he did in writing. so that if we sat and had a conversation-- it's true, some people,. >> trevor: but at this point, at this point are you like this man shubd the president of the united states? >> no, remember, hold on. remember what i said. he was going to be the republican nominee. he was going to be. because that was over. >> trevor: in your head you are going i have to try to fix this, basically. >> i want to make it better. my point was i love the country. this is going to be-- this guy is going to have a 50, 50 shot to be president. >> trevor: right. >> so let's try to make him as good as we can make him and let's see if we can make this work. >> trevor: let me ask you this, if he was to call you today and say chris, i need you, remember that night that i called you, i should have followed you through, i should have given you the ring. >> or the rose. >> trevor: will you come and join me at the white house, i need new my administration, would you say yes? >> he's offered me six different jobs since he was there and i said no to all of them too.
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>> trevor: dwr. >> because there were no jobs that i wanted, i said there are only two jobs i'm interested in. vice president or attorney general, i said those are the two jobs i think i'm the most qualified more and excite me and where i could do the post good. >> trevor: would you run again. >> i you never say never. >> trevor: would you run against trump. >> in 2020. >> trevor: do you think you can beat him. >> no, in a primary in 2020. >> trevor: do you think any republican could beat him. >> not now, politics is a dynamic thing and you never know. but based on what you see right now, i think the incumbent president st hard to beat in a primary and he is still highly popular among republican party voters. last poll had him 08, 81% approval among republicans. if 81% of the people like the guy are you rung against thark only leaves 19 percent for you, that is not a good game to play. so no but i'm 56 years old, i would think about doing it again. of course i would think about it but only if i saw a reasonable path to win.
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>> trevor: we haven't always agreed on everything, we fight and argue about stuff but i always appreciate that you come on the show and that you talk. >> listen, you are great, i love coming on the show and love what you do. >> trevor: thank you for being here. let me finish, a fascinating book available now, governor chris christie, everybody. we'll be right back, for real, thank you. (applause) ♪ what are you doing? well the king believes people should know what ingredients are in their beer. he ordered us to tell everybody. did he order you to shoot arrows blindly into the kingdom? well he didn't say not to. wouldn't it be better to just put the ingredients label on the packaging? yeah...
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on. >> oh i have on about 10 to 12 lay ares on. >> this is no laughing matter. tv reporters do get cold, just like normal people. so bring them inside. [ birds chirping ] [ alarm beeps ] ♪ [ snores ] ♪ [ water running ] ♪ ♪ [ device buzzing ] ♪ [ blow dryer whirring ] [ snores ] [ alarm rings ] ♪


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