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tv   The Daily Show  Comedy Central  June 12, 2019 1:38am-2:15am PDT

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- [laughing] oh, god. - it was good. - i told myself i was not gonna get drunk this time. i don't know how i thought that was gonna work. [laughter] okay. so, the people at stonewall that night realized there's a community of us. it's not just 20 of us on [bleep] wednesday night when it's half off-- there's a whole group of us who are here in this gay [bleep] and you're not going to erase us from the mother[bleep] conversation no more. so, marsha says, ultimately, humanness wins. - yes.
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- ultimately, people win. - yeah. - that night, and then the next one, constitute the stonewall riots, and that is what got the whole gay rights movement in america started off. - like, that gives me chills. - it's the shot glass heard around the world. a few weeks later, marsha and her friend sylvia formed the street transvestite act--reaction evolution. which is not words we-- we would use to gay-- today, obviously, it would be more like, street trans-vendor. transgender, i mean. not trans-vinegar, yeah, it's not like that [bleep]. basically, marsha and sylvia were out there in the '60s and '70s just trying to get these trans kids a place to live. she really was a badass. - yeah. - and so brave--like, i would not have been that brave. in the '60s and '70s? i mean, it was bad enough being black. - right. - but add in a queer identity, and then a--a queer gender identity too? it was a lot. it was a lot.
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and she still faced it. but truly? black people deserve to be on all this [bleep]. - mm-hmm. - black people and sacagawea. who needs to get off the god damn coin and onto some [bleep] paper money. [laughter] because this our [bleep]. - yeah. bow down. [patriotic music] ♪ comedy central >> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah. ( cheers and applause )
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>> trevor: welcome to "the daily show," everybody. i'm trevor noah. thank you so much for tuning in. thank you for coming out. yeah! oh, yeah! let's do it. let's do this. our guest tonight is a fascinating young man. he's a chef whose new book is called "notes from a young black chef." kwame omwuachi is joining us everybody! it will be a really fun conversation. also on tonight's show, russia and china are the new celebrity couple. ronny chieng puts plaft straws under arrest. and your fitbit is trying to kill you. so let's catch up on today's headlines. this saturday was world oceans day. it's a day when we let the ocean tsunami any city it likes and we tack a moment to acknowledge.
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how damage we humans have done to the thing that covers 75% of our planet. and today, canadian prime minister justin trudeau announced a plan to try to change that. >> some good news for the environment. in less than two years, canada plans to ban many single-use plastics. we're talking about things like straws, bags, cutlery, no longer the canadian prime minister making the announcement from the shores of a nature preserve in quebec. >> to be honest, as a dad, it's tough to explain this to my kids. hodo you explain dead whales washing up on beaches around the world, their stomachs jam packed with plastic bags. people around the world are grappling with thisser day. >> trevor: wow, white people have to explain a lot of shit to their kids because this is not a problem any african kid has. an african kid says, "why are the whale dying?" "why don't you mind your own business? are you a whale? maybe that whale is too much busy asking questions.
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that's why it ended up on the beach." you know what i do know, beat children. go fetch my belt! getgo fetch my belt." but justin trudeau has a good point. single-use plastic is wasteful. we have to find a way to stop using it. i don't know exactly. i was thinking maybe we can find a way to carry a knife and fork with us all times, like hanging off our belts, like a cell phone used to. it won't look weird if we all do it. how about this? we never use these third fingers. let's just replace them with utensils. like a surgery. now you always have them with you. moving on, the catholic church is celebrating pride month in the most catholic way possible. >> "usa today" said the catholic church issued an official document rejecting transgender identity. it called male and female he created them, is the catholic church's first statement on
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jirnd identity. pope francis has repeatedly argued people cannot choose their genders. and chienging norms contributes to the destabilization of the family. >> trevor: yes, that's right. the catholic church has released a statement condemning transgender people, saying that it's unnatural, which is disappointing, but it's not surprising. i mean, we all know the church thinks if you're born a girl yiewrk a girl forever. and if you're born a boy, they're going to try to (bleep) you. ( laughter ) and let's be clear, let's be clear on this: gender change is not a trend, all right. it's been around for thousands of years. but if it was, why does the church care about it so much? how come the church isn't warning us about other trends? you never hear the pope saying, "there's only one high priest and his name is jesus christ." and get this, get this. part of the vatican's rationale is transgender people go against its belief that god made men and women to reproduce.
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which, first of all, transgender people can reproduce. and, secondly, again, why do you care? right you? don't even let your people reproduce, right? nuns aren't allowed to have sex, right. priests can't get little boys pregnant, yeah. yeah, that's right. two pedophilia jokes. yeah, yeah. i got away with it the first time. of course i was going to go back for more, which is the same thing the priests said about touching little boys "p" oh! three pedophilia jokes! you don't like it? you should transfer me to a different parish where i will probably do the same thing. 4! all right, i'm done. if you're wearing a fitbit right now, you might want to get up and walk 10,000 steps away from your tv. >> new twez qez about the supposed health benefits of those fitness trackers that millions use. >> as more americans make health a priority, many are turning to technology. >> the fitness tracker has become kind of the obsession. >> but is that obsession really good for you? some worry measuring fitness,
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dit, and sleep could be taking a toll on our mental health. research found it can take activities that once were enjoyable feel almost like a job. >> these are really powerful tools for positive change, but they can trigger anxiety or obsessive thoughts, and sometimes cause us to go a little bit too far. >> trevor: that's right. experts say fitness trackers are make us anxious. and not just because we spend every morning trying to remember where we put it, which is what i do. i burn 1,000 calories walking around my apartment trying to find the damn thing, and then it goes, "okay, time to get your steps in." i'm like, "bitch, i need a nap now." but the studies claim fitness apps can be bad for our mental health. if you think about it, every app is bad for your mental health. twitter is toxic, and the phone app is the worst. you can't delete it. it just keeps ringing. don't know what it's for. i had a meditation app that was supposed to help me relax, but
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all allll it did was stress me out. continue times a day, "did you meditate yet? hey, trevor, don't forget to medicate." eventually i was like, "delete the app!" so much for the headlines. let's move on to our main story. ( cheers and applause ) russia-- for decades, the soviet superpower has been america's number-one rifle. there was the cuban missile crise, meddling in the 2016 elections, and on twitter, they challenged tom cruise to an m.m.a. fight, and nobody can figure out why. and just when we thought russia'santicts couldn't get any crazier, a few days ago they pulled this move on the high seas. >> we begin this evening with a dangerously close call on the high seas between a russian destroyer and a u.s. warship. those ships coming within feet of one another forcing the americans to take drastic action to avoid a disastrous collision. >> this image, carting just how close the ships came to a catastrophic collision.
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as little as 50 feet, according to the u.s. navy. this video from the deck of the uss "chancellor," showing the russian destroyer was so close, you could see russian sailors sunbathing on the deck. >> trevor: sweet lord. ( laughter ) russians are hard core. you realize these ships are about to crash into each other, american soldiers are like, "prepare for break!" and russian soldiers are like, "dmitri take off your shirt. let's get suntan before we die, yeah. don't want to meet jesus as pasty." but this is pretty crazy, man. ( laughter ) this is pretty crazy. a russian warship basically tried to ram into an americanshiamericanship in the . let's be honest. that had to be on purpose. what other excuse is there? do you know how big the ocean is? you really have to go out of your way to collide into someone. it's like walking into someone at ted cruz's birthday party.
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there's no one there. did you it on purpose. ( laughter ) now the question sthe question is, where would russia get the balls to play chicken against america in the pacific. maybe it's because they have a new and powerful b.f.f. >> just as president trump was meeting with america's most important allies in europe, two of america's biggest adversaries were holding court in moscow. it was a split screen tailor made by russian president vladimir putin. putin hosted chinese progress xi jinping xi calling putin his best and bosom friends. >> the two enjoying a leisurely boat ride in spoorg yesterday. >> trevor: that's right. xi and putin have gotten so close they're taking boat rides together. he helped xi create the scene from "titanic." he was like, "i'm king of the world! china is taking over the world." china and russia are really hitting it off. you only take a boat ride with
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someone if you really, really like them or they're enslaving you. but this is liking. if you think putin giving xi a boat ride is impressive, wait until you see what xi gave putin. >> during their surntle putin and xi showed off their friendship way visit to the moscow zoo where they welcomed two new chinese pandas, a gift from xi to russia. >> china likes-- a sign of the good alliance, good feeling is present you with a panda. russia got two. >> trevor: that's right. china gave not one but two pandas to russia. which is huge. yeah. because one panda can't make babies. two babies also can't, but there's hope. ( laughter ) and, remember, china only gives pandas to country when they wish to be close allies. they call it panda diplomacy. this is a real thing, panda diplomacy. not to be confused with panda express diplomacy, where i convinced them to let me use the
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battle room, even though i didn't buy anything. technically, china didn't give russia the pandas. the russians get to keep the pandas for a few years. which applies takeover panda in the world. china owns every single panda so at some point they have to go home and i guess it's because china doesn't want pandas to forget their rootsz. you don't want them staying in new jersey for too long. you don't want them saying, "what is this bamboo? how about how about some gabagool and fettucheen. >> russia and china continue to strengthen their economic ties, they're also expanding their military cooperation. chinese troops taking part in massive drills with russian forces last year. >> the level of cooperation between russia and china has not been this high since the
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mid-1950 pps they are combining forces against us. >> they say russia and china can coordinate cyber attacks and military moves that can knock u.s. forces off balance. >> trevor: oh, man. china and russia teaming up against the united states? i mean, america could probably handle china or russia, but not both at the same time. like, imagine if in "rocky four" they were fighting and jackie chan jumped in the rink to help. that wouldn't end of rocky. it would be done. there would be no "rocky five," no rocky balboa. no "rocky goes to space," and definitely no "50 shades of rocky." none of those movies. ( laughter ) now, jnd geopolitics, the personal elements of this bromance is probably something that's going to bug donald trump. because don't forget, he wants to be a part of this club. he loves those dudes. he admires putin and talks about how he and gianni infantino are great friends.
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so to see his two besties together has got to hurt. i don't think he's dealing with his feelings in the most mature way. >> donald trump is threatening new tariffs on another $300 billion in chinese goods if the president doesn't meet had wim at the upcoming g-20 summit. >> trevor: really, trump. he's going to put tariffs on china if xi doesn't hang out with him? that's so childish. "if you don't come over my house and play video games, then tariffs. and i get to be player woon the whole time." and what is it with trump using tariffs in every legal situation. have you guys noticed this? in every situation, trump is using tariffs. illegal mimigration, tariffs on mexico. melania won't hold his hand, tariffs on slovakia. ( laughter ) so, look, it's clear what's
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happening here. president trump, you're feeling neglected by president xi. but instead of lashing out ynot work on your relationship, man. forget tariffs. maybe talk to xi, tell him how you're feeling. if that doesn't work, try to spice things up. dress up as something you know china's really into. yeah. ( laughter ) ( applause ) who could resist? we'll be right back. of savings and service. whoa. travis in it made it. it's amazing. oh is that travis's app? it's pretty cool, isn't it? there's two of them.
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( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." before the break, before the break, we learned that canada is going to ban single-use plastics. and this is a really bold step and a necessary one. but is the u.s. capable of suction action? ronny chieng filed this report from the front lines of the plastic wars. >> here in america, we use straws for everything-- drinking, snorting cocaine-- okay, just those two things. but still, that's not nothing. yet, recently, local governments across the nation have been challenging our god-given right to bear straws. >> straws represent only.02% of the nine million tons of plastic
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waste. >> conservative big bird actually has a point here. i headed to washington, d.c., the latest city to ban straws to meet lillian, an environmental inspector. her actual job is to go into local business and make sure they're not using plastic straws. that's right, she's a straw cop. so what do you hope to accomplish by banning something that's like 0.0000000001% of our trash? >> you know, that's gade question. it's a perfect symbol for our overuse and dependence on single-use plastics. >> what am i supposed to do? if i don't use straws what do you want me to do? do you want me to do this? >> yes, absolutely. that's what i would love. >> lillian explained over 40% of all plastic manufacturing is single use, throwaway items that will take somewhere between 450 years and forever to disappear. but still, why are people suddenly so angry about straws? why do you hate straws so much? what did straws ever do to you?
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>> i think that started with the straw video, the plastic straw getting stuck up the sea turtle's nose. it has 35 million views on youtube. >> wait, this is because of a stupid video. i've seen a lot of stuff on youtube. how bad could this be? it turns out really bad. >> man, it's a freaking straw. >> okay,-- >>! ein done! no more straws. but the video did leave me with one burning question: if i stick a straw up my nose i could get 35 million views on youtube? >> i can't guarantee that. you know, people might not connect with seeing a person, a full-grown adult with their straw up the nose the same waz a a sea turtle. i wouldn't go further. >> nope, that's stuck. nope-- ah. okay, so, tell me what you do on a day-to-day basis.
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turns out that turtle was not faking it. >> we actually go out and do some random inspections and we talk to business owners. ( choking ) about the new rules, and how to come into compliance with them. >> whoa! that sounds great. it was time for me to hit the streets and shadow lillian on an actual straw raid. first step, case the joint. clear, clear, clear, clear, clear. all right, clear. >> so once we enter a business, usually we kind of take a look around, right. we want to see if we can see request straws. >> straw racial profiling. >> we're looking out for straws. >> what race is under likely to use straws? >> looking out for people. >> nlook for contraband. >> these are what we use. >> great. >> they're compostable. >> another excellent. these are absolutely in compliance. >> turns out, this guy was clean, least for today. but i knew things were about to get real when we hit the mother
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load-- a coffee shot with enough nose candy to take down a reef. >> these look like plastic. are you currently out of compliance. >> that's right. you're busted. and now the straw cops are going to make you pay. >> right now we haven't switched yet, but we are in the process of switching. >> oh, really? that's convenient. just happen to be switching when we walk in, okay. >> i'm sorry. >> uhm, so what i'm going to do today is just give you a warning letter. >> okay. >> do you mean warning letter? so lillian just walks around warning businesses? that's it. i'm taking the lead on this investigation. straw, straw, straw, straw! we've got straws over here. you're going to pull out a straw in front of a straw cop? >> sorry. >> whose straw is this? straw! straw over here! sorry, false alarm. it's fine. it's paper. ♪ ♪ thidispatch, we are entering premises, over.
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see that guy over there in the black hoodie. i'm just going to go ask him a few questions. he's going! go, go, go! straw police! straw police! drop the (bleep) straw! get on the ground (bleep)! but despite the successful raid, lily wasn't happy. >> that was absolutely useless in getting people to come into compliance. >> let's agree to disagree. >> it takes a lot of time and energy and those one-on-one conversations to really enact real change. >> okay, change people's minds through constructive conversations. i can do that. do you know how many (bleep) turtles are dying in the ocean because they have straws up their nose? why? because blooeps can't seem to drink from cups without straws. just put the cup to your mouth! that's it! you don't need a milt man! do you know how much damage it could do to an dolphin's anus. >> circ you need to go before i call the police. >> we are the police. >> guys. >> we are the police. show her your badge. >> we're not the police.
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>> she has a badge. show her the badge. after a successful conversation, we voluntarily left the restaurant. i come back and see any plastic snrawz here i'm burning the whole (bleep) place to the ground. if a restaurant can ban me just for doing my job, how hard can it be to ban straws. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: ronny chieng, everybody. we'll be right back. ( cheers and applause ) the lexus es... ♪ ...every curve, every innovation, every feeling... ...a product of mastery. lease the 2019 es 350 for $379/month for 36 months. experience amazing at your lexus dealer. here are even more reasons to join t-mobile. 1. do you like netflix? sure you do. that's why it's on us. 2. unlimited data. use as much as you want, when you want. 3. no surprises on your bill.
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it's light and refreshing, perfect to drink by any ocean. like this one. or, by an unsalted ocean. meet the dough that's baked slow. the original pan pizza from pizza hut is here with a thick, crispier, buttery crust. it's the original, and it's bigger than the other guys. now for a limited time, get it on the $7.99 large, two-topping deal. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." my guest tonight is a john beard award-winning executive chef at kith and kin in washington, d.c. his new memoir is called "notes from a young black chef." please welcome kwame omwuachi! ( cheers and applause )
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>> trevor: welcome to the show. >> it's great to be here. how are you doing? >> trevor: i'm fantastic, man, but congratulations on an amazing book. >> thank you. >> trevor: and a really, really fascinating story. >> thank you. >> trevor: i mean, you've done everything. in your teens you were in a. gang. in your 20s you sold drugs. competed on equip top chef." you opened your first restaurant, it tanked. >> don't give away the book. >> trevor: no, that's the thing. it's less about what happened and how it happens. that's what makes it so fascinating. you're only 29. >> it's a journey. i would say every part of my life has been extremely difficult or extremely rewarding, and it's a journey. so, like, you don't really notice it until you put it down on paper. >> trevor: right >> and you read it through and you see it through. >> trevor: what's interesting is you tell the story growing up in a world where you
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you were lucky enough to go to a private school, but you lived in a place that was hood adjacent, and you got mixed up with the wrong group of friends. how did you see your life when you were in a gang? was that something you prepared, or was it something that happened to you out of nowhere? >> it just happened. you know, i talk about it in the book how i really got into it. i got into a fight, and after that fight, it was pretty much an initiation into the gang. and, you know, i don't think it's something that you plan, you know. sometimes we're a product of our environment, which is unfortunate. but, also, we can get out of that mentality as well. for me, it was the moment barack obama walked across stage and he became president of the united states. and i didn't think that i would see a black president in my lifetime. i voted for him and everything. but, you know, 55 years ago, we couldn't even eat at the same restaurants as white people everywhere, and to see that, it was-- it showed me that i could do anything i put my mind to. >> trevor: that's really a beautiful part of the book where you're telling a story about how
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you're selling drugs. you're living in this house where people are high, you're also high. and then you see barack obama walk out there, and he's now president of the united states, and you're like, "i gotta get my shit together." >> yeah. >> trevor: that's a powerful moment. how do you even begin that journey? like, you see barack obama, yes, but, i mean, it wasn't easy. >> no, for me was removing myself from that environment was the first thing. so i was selling drugs. i moved to louisiana. my mother moved there after i graduated high school. so i started doing the only thing i really knew how to do, which was working with food. and i just took it one day at a time. and i told myself every year, i want to be doing better than i was last year. it's not easy and you itv to take it one day at a time. when i got the helm of this one restaurant, i will be honest, i had no idea what i was doing. >> woofnt parts of the bhook is
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raising money to chase your dreams. you don't want to sell drugs anymore and you decide to sell candy on the new york city subway. >> trevor: which is harder, selling drugs or selling candy on the subway? ( laughter ) because no one pays attention on the train. ( laughter ) >> they have their challenges. both of them have their challenges. one is extremely more lucrative than the other, to be honest with you. ( laughter ) >> trevor: i don't know which one, to be honest. ( laughter ) >> we're not going to get into-- >> trevor: because you made a lot of money selling candy. >> i did. >> trevor: you made $20,000 in a few months. >> yeah. >> trevor: just from selling candy. >> what's funny is-- i haven't really shared this story. i did a dinner-- i did pop-ups around the world, and i stopped in miami, and one of the guys that used to sell drugs for me, he lived in miami. so, i was like, "hey, i changed my life around. you have to come to my dinner, and i talk about my story." so we're sitting there, and i get up, and i'm in front of the whole dining room. and i was like, "yeah, i sold candy in order to save up for my catering company." and he never knew this part of me. he was like, "ha! candy? yeah, right."
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( laughter ) like, in the middle of the dinner. and i'm like, "stop, stop!" g., stop it!" ( laughter ) >> trevor: when you look at young people now who may look up to you, i mean, you know, it's no secret that there are many youths out there who are products of their environment, who find the allure of selling drugs, getting into a gang really difficult to resist, and you are living a life now which is legal, successful, and inspirational. when young men look at you or when they read your book, what would you hope that they take away from your story? >> that anything is possible. you know, if you really put your mind to it and you work and you put in the hours, and you just outwork everyone else, you can be-- you can be successful in any field you're in. >> trevor: right. >> i don't think this book is just for young chefs. i don't think it's for black chefs. i think it's just for anyone, you know, for anyone to really see if you really want something, like, if you really, really want it, you can achieve it.
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and that's what i want people to walk away from reading "notes from a young black chef." >> trevor: man, it's a fascinating book. i hope everybody reads it. great story to tell. >> thank you. >> trevor: thank you so much for being on the show "p." >> thank you. >> trevor: "notes from a young black chef" is available now. we'll be right back. ( cheers and applause )
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♪oohh, hot stuff theyall over my nachos♪ hot? ♪walkin' like a taco ♪driving over potholes ♪hotter than a pot roast ♪fingers on my hot chips ♪red handed come on man ♪now i'm a need some chopsticks ♪i want it that way ♪i want it that way the original, now it's hot. corona's first alcohol spiked refresher. introducing corona refresca. in passionfruit lime, guava lime and coconut lime. it's the taste of the tropics.
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( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: that's our show for tonight. thank you so much for tuning in. here it is, your moment of zen. ♪

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