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tv   The Daily Show  Comedy Central  June 26, 2019 1:38am-2:15am PDT

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- come on, man. what--what--how much more-- - well, what happened to them after-- - der--derek, don't say nothing. - yeah, i just want to get what-- - it's--they're in siberia. they're blasting flares out. ptoo! ptoo! they don't even have food, or sprites. and then, after 30 hours, they fi-- [bottle thuds] finally they got rescued. [triumphant music] ♪ you wouldn't even believe it. - [chuckles] - oh! they're just some lunatics that said "yes" to an experiment. cosmonauts, astronauts, any kind of 'naut. did, yes. the 'nauts yessed. the 'nauts said, "why not?" - [laughs] - where da--where da--
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where da button? where da button? [patriotic music] ♪ >> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah. ( cheers and applause ) ♪ >> trevor: welcome to "the daily show," everybody! thank you so much for tuning in! thank you for coming out! i'm trevor noah! our guest tonight is a a former "daily show" correspondent, now
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appearing in "the rook" on starz -- olivia munn is joining us. olivia munn is joining us, everybody! ( cheers and applause ) but before that, we've got to get into the news. let's be honest, for the past few days, we've mainly been focused on three stories, america versus iran, migrant children at the border, and the latest supersmash brothers release, the democratic primary race. ( laughter ) yes. my favorite move is the joe biden death mas sabling. even though those are the main stories, there are tons of other stories happening in the news. the truth is we just don't have the time to talk about them. luckily, not enough time is just the right amount of time for a segment we call "ain't nobody got time for that." ( cheers and applause ) ♪ all right, let's kick it off with student debt. these crippling college loans are the reason that you're probably watching the "the daily show" right now, using your neighbor's wi-fi. ( laughter ) but there could be a new way to become debt free -- just don't pay. >> all student debt gone in six
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months. this is a new plan proposed by senator bernie sanders, the college of all acts would create a new tax on wall street transactions using that money to free some 45 million americans from more than a trillion in student debt, senator sanders' plan would make public colleges tuition-free. >> today we are offering a revolutionary proposal. the american people bailed out wall street. now it is time for wall street to come to the aid of the middle class of this country. >> trevor: bernie! bernie! ( cheers and applause ) wow! the man has a plan to get rid of all student debt in six months! imagine that, huh? six months! yeah, student debt is about to get canceled like someone dug up its old tweets! that's what's about to happen! i'm always impressed about how
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passionate bernie is about this issue, especially because it doesn't affect him. i don't think he has student debts. do they have student loans in ancient grease? tell socrates i will not be paying 400 goats for that philosophy class! ( laughter ) now, some people are saying that the reason bernie came out with this revolutionary plan is because he wants to one-up elizabeth warren's plan. she proposed forgiving most student debt. bernie comes back with forgiving all student debt, which means warren has to come back even harder. she's got to be, like, no debt and free textbooks! then bernie will come back, oh yeah? free textbooks and i'll loan you one of my socks to put on your door when you're getting lucky! ( laughter ) if we had more time, we could compare wernz's college plan to elizabeth warren's plan and discuss whether the wall street tax will work to get rid of student debt but we can't spend all our time on college because
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high schools in america are facing a new challenge of their own. >> many schools named after robert e. lee are looking for a new identity. about 100 schools across country are named for the confederate general. they're looking to keep part of the school's name to help the school district money because they won't have to change signs, colors and mas costs. >> trevor: amazing. high schools around the country named after robert e. lee want to change their names, but in order to save money, the name still has to end in lee. ( laughter ) so they're just going to cross the thing out? just be, like, not that lee, other lee? so, what, spike lee? ( cheers and applause ) yeah? i guess so. i don't know. stan lee? yeah? yeah? ( cheers and applause ) yeah, we're on a roll. r. kelly? ( audience reacts ) okay, fine, back to robert e. lee! fine! i don't know why these schools
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are still trying to name themselves after people. people will always let you down, remember this. don't name your shit after people. it's always going to happen. or the other way, what happens is the institution will ruin the person's reputation. look at la guardia airport. it's named after one of the greatest mayors of new york city, and now anytime someone hears his name, they associate with a place they lost their luggage and contracted typhoid! ( laughter ) it really is weird to see how deeply engraidged robert e. lee is in american culture. you guys remember the show dukes of hazzard? yeah? the heros' car was named the general lee, which means they're changing the names of all the schools, they're going to have to go back and change the shows and redub old episodes. >> why aren't you slowing down? we're going to crash! >> wish me luck. >> oh! >> folks, this here is a historic moment. the first jump ever made by -- >> ruth bader ginsburg.
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( laughter ) ( applause ) >> trevor: yeah, i think it works. i think it works. ( applause ) now, now, you see, if we had more time, we could redub every movie with offensive civil war references but we've got to move on. because there's one civil war reference that deserves to be saved. >> the treasury department sees inspector general is launching an investigation into why the trump administration has delayed placing harriet tubman on the $20 bill. treasury secretary steve mnuchin blames the delay on features to prevent counterfeiting. but the inspector general has been asked to investigate. >> trevor: that's right, the inspector general is going to investigate as to why the harriet tubman $20 bill is not yet being made. good question. what's going on with the tubman 20? taking its time? can i say how fun it is to say the tubman 20?
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( laughter ) it sounds like the weight you put on in your first year of freedom. that's what it sounds like. seriously, they announced this bill how long ago and now they're coming up with all the weird stories, saying they're worried about security. funny how the white house is doing more background checks on harriet tubman than anybody who actually works at the white house. ( cheers and applause ) or maybe, maybe they're just worried about her, you know. she's famous for escaping. maybe they're worried about her staying on the money. what if they relegal the money? they're going to unveil the bill in the big ceremony. they'll pull off the curtain. here she is! oh, no! gone again! we can talk about how shady it is this administration has taken so many months to release a bill honoring a runaway slave, but we don't have time for that because, in oregon, they're dealing with runaway lawmakers. >> in oregon tonight, 11 state e law-maker are missing, nowhere
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to be found as part of a partisan standoff. >> the body's 11 republicans did not show up for work, after launching a walkout five days ago to stop the state senate from acting on a contention climate bill. >> they're hoping to run out the clock till the session ends. some even fled the state after the governor threatened to dispatch state police to round them up. >> one senator responded to the governor's warning with a threat of his own. >> this is what i told the superintendent, send bachelor's and come heavily armed, i'm not going to be a political prisoner in the state of oregon, it's just that simple. >> trevor: holy shit! what the hell is going on in oregon? you understand whatsz happening here? in order to sabotage a climate change vote they're afraid they're going to lose, republican lawmakers fled the state. now they can't vote. the equivalent of unplugging nintendo when your brother is beating you. ( laughter ) to be fair, when the founding fathers set up the country, they
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believed in three core principals, separation of powers, independent judiciary and if you're about to lose a vote, what's that? so long, sucker! that's not democracy! that's basically what republicans have done. lawmakers fleeing a state to sabotage a vote should be the craziest part of any story. if that wasn't crazy enough, one to have the lawmakers threatened to shoot police if the police tried to bring him back? i mean, did you hear him? he was, like, send bachelor's, come heavily armed! that's a threat. it's either a threat or it's a tag line for next summer's hangover featuring john wick. but it sounds like a threat. it's interesting how there are some republicans out there who have the most contradictory views about law enforcement. they will be, like, shut up collin kaepernick, blue lives matter! you president these cops but if
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these cops come for me, i'll pop a cap in their ass, those precious blue asses i honor and respect, unless they try to hold me accountable, then we'll show them the second amendment! ( laughter ) it's like this the whole time. we don't have time to talk more about these lawless lawmakers because there is one story about the president we have to make time for. >> there is a new allegation of sexual assault against president trump. new york magazine is out today with an excerpt from an upcoming book by the advice columnist e. jean carroll. she says in the mid 1990s, mr. trump forced himself on her in a department store dressing room. >> a friend of carol's confirmed to nbc news that carol told her about the alleged attack the next day. >> trevor: for the 22n 22nd time, donald trump has been accused of sexual misconduct. almost one accusation for each democrat running. ( laughter ) i know that because he's president, there's added
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skepticismo to all these claims, but it is interesting how quickly people will brush these accusations off. sometimes people don't even listen. but 22 times is pretty high. you realize boeing had two planes go down and they were forced to ground the entire fleet because people were, like, maybe we should investigate what's going on here. people here are, like, it's all fake news. i'm not saying it's real or fake, but i think people should listen, and one thing that definitely hasn't helped trump's case is his response. >> an extraordinary denial from frump in the face of a rape allegation. according to the president, writer e. jean carroll is totally lying when he claims he sexually assault her in a new york city department store. he says, i'll say it with great respect, number one, she's not my type. number two, it never happened. it never happened, okay? ( audience reacts ) >> trevor: really? all right, first of all, that's not great respect.
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that's not saying it with great respect, she's not my type? what is that supposed to mean? if your denial leaves people thinking there is a type of woman you would rape, that's not a good denial. yeah. there should be no number one, i didn't do it, that's it. like rules using a bathroom at a party, no number two. only number one. a woman's attractiveness has nothing to do with whether or not they were raped. nothing at all. ( applause ) but it shows you how out of what can trump's priorities are. he's being accused of rape and his first concern is letting people know what his standards are for women. it's like you're accused of murdering someone at a holiday inn and your response is, i stay at the ritz carlton! no! that's not what we're focused on!
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and what's strange is none of these allegations ever seem to have an effect on donald trump. did you ever think about how many men were held accountable after facing a single credible accusation? this guy's got 22, and it's barely news. that's the paradox of donald trump because the outrage over his election mepped, in many ways, helped make the #metoo movement, not make it but inspire the #metoo movement, made it mainstream. but so far, he's the one who has been immune to its effects. while many are pushing for trump to face consequences, seems like nobody in washington has the time for that. we'll be right back. ( cheers and applause ) (paul) great. another wireless ad. so many of them are full of this complicated, tricky language about their network and offers and blah blah blah. look. sprint's going to do things differently. and let you decide for yourself.
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i can taste my beer! i can taste my beer. i can taste his beer. i can taste your beer. i want to taste his beer. samuel adams sam '76. finally, a refreshing lager that you can taste. barb, i can taste my beer. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." american school children today will have to fix many of society's problems tomorrow, but is there education giving them
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the schools they'll need to fight for change? jaboukie young-white went to find out. >> as "the daily show"'s youngest correspondent, i'm qualified to report on civics education in america success. only one in nine schools require a year of civics. but many activists are demanding higher standards. which is why i'm here in a small rhode island school to interview students who are fighting to fix their education and their futures. after-school spesh. what's going on. >> who are you? >> the new transfer student. i'm chad, i'm 17, you're older. >> you smell old. >> i'm not old. >> after convincing, i gained trust, the civics organizers
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asking for better education in rhode island. >> this is important because i still see people that are, like, voting isn't important, and i think we should also understand, like, the way how systems were built and how the world works. >> , like, how can you go about not knowing your rights or how to pay taxes. >> but you don't actually have to pay taxes, that's a myth. >> no, you have to pay taxes. like, you have to pay taxes. >> is this real? >> that's why we need civics class in high school. >> but i do civics all the time. i'm, like, constantly sending out civic tweets. i'm #green new deal, #2020. sometimes i say #woke, and then boom, civics. >> that's not even close. >> wow. >> you basically just talked about social media. >> let's face it, we're teens. there's nothing that we can do to make our school teachers civics.
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>> um, i email going to have to disagree with you on that. me and ahmed are teens. >> the shirt's not fooling anyone. >> me and ahmed are suing the united states government for civics classes in all schools. >> wow. >> you heard that right. my same-age friends were suing the government for civics education in schools. alita and ahmed are making the case with the help of columbia professor and oldest person i know michael robel who has been fighting for education equity most of his career. >> the supreme court says every child has a right to equal education. but many don't have meaningful opportunities. >> why did you decide to sue rhode island and not a state everyone hates like new jersey? >> we looked at what cities have the worst education system when it comes to civics, and also where would the community be supportive? if we get the supreme court to declare that there's a national right to education, state
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legislatures and school systems will act on it, it will make a huge difference. 50% of the american public cannot name the three branches of got. can you do it? >> federal, executive and the supreme court, notorious r.g.b. >> she's one of nine justices. >> nine, yeah. there's r.g.b., chris evans, chris hems worth, scarlett johansson. >> you're mentioning all the actors in the avengers. they are not supreme court justices. >> i left one out, the hulk. >> do you even know who your representative in congress is? >> it doesn't really matter about my representative because i know who my senator is, it's bernie sanders. >> i don't think chuck schumer's going to like that answer. >> who the (~bleep ) is chuck schumer? >> he's your senator from new york. i think you've got a long ways to go on civic knowledge, i'm sorry to say. >> did i not get an education? >> that's the kind of unfortunate reality that we're trying to grapplele with.
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>> thank you for teach meg that i'm dumb. >> wait, that is not the message i'm trying to get across. >> i hear you loud and clear. i'm a dumb bo. i'm dumb. i'm a dumbhead. >> you're obviously smart from our conversation. >> boys do go to jupiter and stet stupid-er. this wise old man made me realize -- >> do you have a hall pass? >> we're not in school. >> may i go to the bathroom first? >> yes. >> maybe us teens need better civics. it's to ensure an education alita and ahmed missed out on. >> the goal is people are more civically engaged. we have government representation that reflects the population. >> wow. i learned so much today. and i hope you did, too.
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teach out. >> i thought you were a teen. >> class dismissed. shit. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: jaboukie young-white, everyone. we'll be right back! ( cheers and applause )
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lonesomest, proudest, mellowest, least likely to give up on a good tradition, most likely to make it how we make it whiskiest whiskey from lynchburg, tennessee. >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." my guest tonight is an actor who plays a government agent in a new supernatural spy thriller on starz called "the rook." >> have you i.d.'d the bodies yet? >> the bodies? >> let's not do this, conrad. we both want the same thing. >> which is what, exactly? >> my guess is yo you haven't i.d.'d them. victim six. i can give you a name, file, full personal history. >> okay. >> i do want something in return.
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>> mm-hmm. >> full access to the investigation, task force, anglo-american partnership. >> well, i'm sorry you wasted your trip. >> trevor: please welcome olivia munn! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ >> trevor: welcome back to the show, ms. munn. >> thank you for having me. excited to be back. >> trevor: congratulations on yet another show where you are playing another supernatural person with supernatural abilities. >> yep. >> trevor: is this like your thing, like you're just, like, i want to kick ass in movies. >> it is fun to be able to kick ass in movies. >> trevor: i feel like you got all that training. how many hours did you spend training when you did martial arts training? >> all the kids in my family had to do taekwondo training till we got to black belt. i got to second degree black
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belt. >> trevor: what is second degree black belt. is it a blacker belt? >> you get, like, tabs on your belt to show you've completed -- because, you know, black belt is the highest and you take more tests. >> trevor: how do you have higher than highest some. so you got to black belt. >> trevor: and you trained for x-men, for instance. >> yes, for x-men, i saw the movie and i said i want to do it if only there's a big fight scene because she's so bad-ass. they said, yes, of course. when we get there, the stunt person they had for me was very talented and athletic but never did any fighting for. it's very different when it's part of your dna and you know how to do it. so i said i would rather do my fight scenes and stunts and i started training seven or six hours a day. >> trevor: this is a supernatural spy thriller.
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it basically takes place in london, as i understand. the opening scene is crazy because you just have, like it's under a bridge and there's a bunch of people who passed out and you don't know if they're dead or not. >> they're dead. >> trevor: i didn't want to assume. i was just, like, maybe that person is awake. >> tired? maybe someone read them a story and they all fell asleep at the same time. >> they fell asleep with their eyes open like this. >> reporter: sometimes i'm just too tired. it's a scary story where you understand there's something supernatural going on. your character works for america and there's a british agency and they're trying to corral supernatural people and you're one overthem. >> you're doing a good job describing the show. >> trevor: i try, thank you. >> yeah, so it's this world where there are these government agencies and they recruit people who have extreme variant abilities, and all of our specialty abilities are rooted
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in whatever we as human beings have. my character has extreme strength. someone else can hear a whisper in a crowd or see for miles. so it's superhuman powers. >> trevor: really extended versions of the things we already have. >> yes, exactly. >> trevor: whisper is cool. but strength, you could have just gone to the gym for that one. >> no, my character can -- >> trevor: how strong? >> i can push a debt bolt out with the tap of my thumb. so no gym is going to get me there, you know. >> trevor: right. >> you know, like -- yeah. >> trevor: is that a superpower you would have chosen as a person? if you could, like, take any of your superpowers to the extreme, any human thing, what would you take to the extreme? >> what would you? i need for inspiration. >> trevor: but it has to be a human extended thing. i'm trying to think. i would have super human taste. that's what i would want.
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oh, yeah, you laugh. >> but what if you eat something that tastes so bad? >> trevor: yeah, but i would want to be able to trace why it tasted bad so i could go back to the first person who made it taste bad, trace it back and specifically go to one person in the kitchen and be, like, you! ( laughter ) sometimes, sometimes, have you ever eaten food and it makes you sick and the next day you said, i must have eaten something. imagine if you knew what that something was. i'd use that superpower. brilliant. ( applause ) and i use that superpower to soothsuethe people and i become. super taste buds! what would you want to use? >> i would want super strength. if i'm so strong, i'm capable of anything. >> trevor: what are you going to do with superstrength in the real world? what are you going to do? bags have wheels now. what are you going to do with the superstrength? where are you taking superstrength to? you can't punch people, you get
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sued. you're a celebrity. why are you wanting superstrength? >> i thought it was a strong choice and in three seconds you convinced me, you're right, there's nothing i could do with it. >> trevor: even sure smell would be better. ( laughter ) >> maybe super hearing so i could listen to contract negotiations, that's helpful. >> trevor: that's nice. you will be, like, i'll be outside but you're really inside. that's nice. ( laughter ) >> i just feel satisfied that you agreed. >> trevor: you see, we would be a superhero team together. we would go around and you could listen and be, like, someone's cooking! i would be, like, let me taste what's going on! and we solve crimes! we made a new tv show! thank you so much for coming back to the show! >> i think we could sell that. amazon, netflix, you guys listening? >> trevor: "the rook"
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one step at a time. whether it's an athletic pursuit, an academic overload, or a chore you keep putting off, hit the reset button. take a deep breath and tell yourself, "i got this." you never want to miss a golden opportunity. the more you know. everybody has a great story to tell, and our job as producers is to help pull that story out. my name is taylor, and i am a producer for tv and podcasts. the whole production is on my surface laptop. it's very powerful, and just speeds up your whole day.
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i always have at least 4 or 5 programs open on my computer. i do need to be able to work everywhere. 16+ hour days are pretty common, so i need a long battery life. it feels weird to be on this side of the camera for sure. [laughs] milland zero grams of sugar.eat taste with only 96 calories so when one's done, it's the perfect time to start another. ♪ miller lite. hold true. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: all right, everybody. that's our show for tonight. the "the daily show" is going live for the democratic primary

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