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tv   Book Discussion  CSPAN  October 18, 2014 11:02am-11:53am EDT

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serious readers. >> here are some programs to watch on book tv this weekend. a former cia director and defense secretary leon panetta recounts his career in public service. the 26 annual southern festival books which features numerous author talks and panel discussions. take reports on the consumer debt collection industry. books about the secret service and the first family, feminism and the united states, a confederate general stonewall jackson and much more. for more information on this weekend's 48 our television scheduled visit us online at booktv.org. >> up next on book tv mark obama ndesandjo, president barack obama's half brother. he talks about his relationship with the president and disputes barack obama stake and their family history as it appears
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in dreams from my father. this is all little over an hour. >> good evening, ladies and gentlemen. bagram to barnes and noble. mark obama ndesandjo, our special guest this evening, is that half-brother of president barack obama. his new book, "an obama's journey", marc offers another glimpse of their father once married to barack smother and marks jewish-american mother, ruth, a kenyan-born american pianist, artist, writer, and businessman, accuses his talents to work with orphans and is donating a portion of the profits of this book to promote art education among needy children around the globe. please join me in welcoming mark obama ndesandjo. [applause]
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>> hello, everyone. how are you doing today? i am so very honored to be here at barnes and noble. i'm overwhelmed by the interest as well as the -- i have to stay here, i guess. okay. is that okay? abcaeight. great. my book is "an obama's journey: my odyssey of self-discovery across three cultures". end the reason i wrote this book was to tell my story without having other people tell it for me. it is also about my family, a many united nations of sorts, but also a family that tries to make a difference in its own lice. and my story absolutely begins about 50 years ago
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when my father, barack obama senior, went to hawaii where he met sally n. dunham, the president's mother and phelan love and get married. shortly after that bark was conceived, my brother, my big brother. and after that they divorced, as you know. barack obama sr. went to harvard to pursue his doctorate in economics. that time he left mother in boston where she was teaching. it was a powerful thing. in 1964 there were a lot of crosscurrents that were difficult to era deal with in terms of black white
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racial relations in the united states. anyway, father went back to kenya later that year. he invited another to follow can get married, which she did. she just knew she remembers camino, but i decided to go to kenya, my grandmother suffered, you couldn't go there. they're all black. [laughter] below is a powerful thing. they went and they were married in december of the year but clear who's she had never been a plan before, but she was a dreamer, they have tremendous force and power and vitality. shortly after that i was born. was born in 1965. so my book starts with kenya . my personal odyssey of self discovery across three cultures. the mixed-race person with a
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bumpy road. so i will start with a couple of readings. i welcome any comments or a question is that anybody has thank you. allegis fun that i can walk with this. this is not working. can i use this? update. all use this one. thank you. kenya, where it all began. africa is the place of sublime contrast and savage difference. to view for the first time a
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lion hunting and killing, muscles rippling in the sun coitus see it pick up the body of an onyx with justice teeth beneath the great blue wall of the sky this seems to stretch to infinity will be it was a humbling experience. how do i convey what it means to grow up amid such a plant -- beauty in russia is i could only share the memories that pass in and out of my consciousness by some light through a diamonds facets'. the years, days, an hour shift on blackamoor russia every. born in 1965, to live in kenya until i was 18, the scene of polk and events that marked me for life for disney with breaks for which i later built by spiritualists. a growing up there was both wonderful and terrible. because it came from a mixed-race family africans denied me the brotherhood.
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to my face children my own age call me other things are headed. at 1. i have grown to believe there were the poorest and some people used it with a casual familiarity . their insensitivity have the same affect me they casually asked me my schoolmates would often say. i was black to all whites yet whites of blacks with no middle ground and unable to bond with mild brothers are quickly adopted the culture of a white mother and her more polite caucasian brother. most would not love and befriend them. others the ability to make social advances.
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one likely. put the pedal to the metal. >> the next section, just to give some context botox a little bit about skynyrd. we used to visit my father's homestead near lake as sumo. and then it was, fascinating place. every now and again who is being the kenyans, anyone. yes. we have some in the audience . yes, sir. heller you? an amazing place in africa is an amazing place.
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this guy which birds above you is almost like a cathedral. for the sense the you don't change africa. every changes you. that said, every -- well was young my mother, my father, and i would drive of 400 miles from nairobi by traditional homestead. this section shut since investors there. we would set up by a car early in the morning. there was a ton on the roads were too dangerous for rage travelers to use. a driver having every likelihood of smashing into a procter broken-down bus was falling into a huge pot hole or veering off and on surface track. the policeman as for bribes and robbers would not bother asking. these days the roads are considerably better, and tourists can cut across the five mile road tests and
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bypass. our car would pass by the great rift valley. and remember spawning by the side of the road almost hidden behind thick bushes the remains of the old chapel built by an italian pows during the second world war, which is now refurbished tourist attraction. the land would turn richer and fields of sugar cane, wheat, sorghum, millet, and collard greens would appear in shimmery waves in green and gold. the pickers and their children in the emerald fields were white colonial founders once you serve the land. developing an industry that produced the best team in the world. i was about five or six years old then. my brother david was just a baby, and i do not think he came with us on this long trips except for once when he got very sick with malaria. in general, someone would care for him back, and my mother would count the days until secure hold him in her
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arms again. and never understood why we have to leave our home to travel to this port said of huts where people in cheap clothes and sandals spoke a language i cannot understand not speaking, i felt i was never accepted by the african children. my air of reserve was taken for aloofness and met with disdain and taunting. it was all very strange, difficult, and intimidating. however, there were lighter, more surreal moments. most nights we go to the local bar, one-room house with a single beer label monroe's the benches. outside there were flimsy chairs and tables from a lot sabir in huge vats and then talking and yelling. thick with a fermented mays, and people thought to be heard over the sound of rock-and-roll planned a local radio station. my father, as he drank with the villagers into the night, my mother and i would really seek a way to the
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small storage room where there was up by any iron frame bed each. we would try to talk over the den until she would get up to leave me. let's go home, pleaded when i heard the shouts of men, the clanking of beer bottles and the beat of music from radio. she would gently touched me in. i would try to sleep, but the noise of the party and was deafening. unfazed by the harsh glare, the muskie is to bite me when i dozed off. one night it was so loud and had no toys but to come out of the store germans and the bark. i stood next to my father and mother and the women and men who sat happily gossiping and chattering. what wouldn't tables. the sound seemed to rise
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like a ghostly oil from the landscape that surrounded me. a look around. i saw the source of the sound, as strange musician, the bugler dressed in the straw loincloth, long beach necklace and a traditional hat. is distended pot belly and jolly face wore a terrifying sight. he was weaving between the revelers like a black santa without rain gear. , heard that sound again. when he lifted his wooden clarinet-like corn his cheeks below. to an incredible size. it was as though both sides of his face had been hijacked by shining coffee colored soccer balls. i look in amazement at the two glistening orbs, afraid they would burst, so tight was the a bulging skin. above those bogus cheat his small eyes are narrowed to
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slips. alumnae : tensity, and then that sound issued forth, high-pitched and yodeling as if to the very gates of heaven or hell. it was deep, throaty, and masculine all at once as it flowed costs out toward the gorges and valleys, busting through the streets like a hell driven banshee. and just as suddenly the sound would cease and the distended face would shrink back to the jovial blubbery visage of the old bugler. what's wrong with that old man's face? >> it's nothing to get upset about. the muscles and his cheeks are worn out. it is normal for him. i identified him. i wanted to be as free as the sound he made to my free like my father's mother to fly away over the hills away from this confusing place.
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the next section talk so little bit about my first meeting with my brother, barack. that was in 1988. it was a very intense meeting. i had just graduated from brown university and was on my way stanford and and come back for the summer to nairobi to sit with my parents. he was on his way to harvard law. i remember our was actually in my room rita book, the devil drives by farm brody, a great history of biography , of a great colonial literature. and i heard they're crunching sound of gravel outside.
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i knew car had arrived. and my -- i heard sounds of voices, and the door opened. my mother was in the door. she was trembling. the mother is a big-league, strong, a mountain climber cannot let chilly, but she is a person who has gone through many challenges in her life and survived. and she was trembling. it was like there was this a motion. and what happened, she said to me, mark, your brother from america is here. and i said, what brother? i did not know. there have been memories and rumors and stories, sort of nebulous things, talks about a brother i had an america, but i had never met him. and this was a totally unannounced visit. so it was a big surprise. anyway, i said, my brother from america, what do you mean?
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your brother, barack from america, he is here to see you. and i all the sudden -- you know, after the divorce i had shut out a lot about the obama name. i wanted nothing to do with it because the domestic violence that we suffered costs for about seven our eight years. i refuse to even take the name obama said at that time because i remembered my mother and the pain of seeing her and not being able to protect her. but all the sudden it is like, we had not been in contact with other members of the obama family. after a space of tenor 15 years. then all of a sudden these memories and these feelings just coursed through me. and i'm thinking, all the things i've tried to figure were coming back. and i instinctively said, no, no one to meet him. and she said, he is your brother.
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he came all the way from the united states to see you. and mobs of this way. they can persuade you to do anything. and i eventually stuck and walked into the living room and saw this person who looked almost exactly like me with this huge and year after then me. and a big, gangly legs. he was sitting on the seats, simple polyester white shirt can, and pants. he had these big hands. you know, when he shakes your hand the figures richard robo, that type of and the. he was taller than me. and he stood up and said, high, and barack. and i greeted him. and that was my brother. you know, that first meeting it was a little intense because we did not say very much, but it was like all of
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the skeletons in the closet were clanking in the background. the elephant walks into the room. you have to confront so many things, marriages to our relatives you know now that while. anyway, and barack wanted to talk to me privately. and so we set up a meeting for a few days later. now this section talks a little bit about that. that's what happens when he read at 372 page book. let's see here. abcaeight. now that i think of it, i wonder why he was waiting for me outside as though he would not enter the house. all our other guests said always come straight in, sometimes surprising us.
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did he refuse to enter? it was as though there was an invisible barrier between is part of a family in my own. they were the obama clan living in scattered places across nairobi and cozumel centered around the old man, as many later called barack obama's senior. but my mother and i had escaped the squabbling poverty bigamy in domestic violence that tainted my early life. a sign of how secure was that i faced the second meeting with trepidation. my mind wanted to shut up my past, but it had grown into a menacing presence, and realign and an elephant grass. barack stood in front of a car, i believe a volkswagen. in the sunlight acted see him better than i had costs. he was taller and thinner with a huge mass of on can tear. his nose was large and broad , eyes piercing and direct. his clothes, again complained. a simple cut short and green
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or pale transfers. hello. how are you? these look very loudly and clearly. he did not smile. it was as though he had recently been upset. i reached up my hand. hello. how are you? we should cans. at the time i said barrick, as everyone collar father. many years later i learned that my brother preferred barack. he did not correct me, and apparently repeated this a number of times. i looked more closely at this tall brown apparition is only appeared in my life. why so serious? and even this past? his was the face of a person with secret plans and goals. he was discreet, ernest, very weary of me in my immediate family, particularly my mother. perhaps an account of what others of told. the way he has been in the driveway that right afternoon, his head tilted a little bit to the site, i
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saw person who was searching for something. it was a look of someone who was already decided on the verdict party still struggling with of formed questions. something looking, something deburred simple. i wanted to meet you, he had said. let's take a drive. want to talk to you, he suggested. i still remember, brother's words to me. what you think of our father? what do you remember about him? all these years i kept my number is far from me. sometimes i remembered my siblings and the bitterness of the family. i would recall the drunken ransom the sounds of whiskey bottles linking on the floor. some strangers walked by.
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i have felt hemmed in but grateful for the interruption. my eyes wandered around the mostly empty room. a glossy red and white walls seemed to shout theory greasy plates still lay on some of the checkered plastic tablecloths. i remember the barack thought it was ironic that he went out and located it. i remember how my and your brother who passed away a few years before nih used to make them together. we would drop the batter. our mouths or water as looked at the golden, crispy doughnuts expand and fill the kitchen with their sweet smell. as every my mind, barack stopped eating and turned is called, brown eyes to me.
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i'm sorry about david committee said. i think you would have liked him, replied, glad to change the subject. everyone i know here speaks well of him. his brown eyes suddenly want . none man sitting -- let me see here. this off kilter image of myself. now it was up -- and we are jumping a little bit ahead. now it was as though my father refused to let go. no matter where i went there would be some relative to appear uninvited in my life prevail on the memories i had tried so hard to obliterate. that was ashamed of myself for my penis and for letting mr. to overcome what should have been the joy of the moment. despite the tone of our conversation i truly felt barack was trying to be honest with himself and with me focusing on reaching a higher level of self understanding. in the presence of such honesty it is imperative to respond in kind, but the shock of it was like being
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dipped into a lake of ice cold water. this off kilter image of myself sitting across from me was my brother. i felt i could hide nothing from him, there was nothing in my life and experiences he had not. for and the results might have been different. he looks like me in some ways. his were deeper than mine. i should have been happy to see him, but i was not to be like me to me was mixed race. like me, he had been educated in an ivy league university. like me can the camp from a broken family. unlike me at all the embraces african side. unlike me he was attempting some sort of reconciliation with something or somebody. thought stumbled through my mind as i looked at his have a familiar face. big brother going to iran except in the obama's, why can't i, i thought to mackie is probably smarter than me and can discern lies from the truth, including my. i felt afraid and exposed.
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but there was something dirty about our kinship. it was founded on the line that we have been dealt a fresh i'll deck of cards on which to base our brother the quest we would embark upon required honesty, however brutal of was to ourselves and others close to us. so all of this in the back of my mind, at last added an appeal by bring up all that garbage about my father? he was a drunk. he beat my mother and us. i have learned to live on. dwelling and the problems of race and bad debt. he seemed to flinch an almost imperceptible movements. i saw his eyes turned. it was as though he did not understand after a moment of silence he continued with his questions. had he not heard my outburst was astonished. a part of them seemed to shut out my words as though he was pretending at nasa then. in this way we were both blind. at the time i could not see
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any of my father's virtues. might have formed high opinions of our father, even idealize him. luckily no one had told him the truth, the shameful details of. it was as though he had been conditioned not to explore these matters having already formed an opinion politically and without passion. his demeanor was called. i thought then he was an arrogant bastard that was too polite to say so to his face. i did not enjoy being treated as subject. i did not want to be pitied or ignored by members of my own family. what i needed was someone to tell me when i was being a jerk and needed to straighten up. that would have been okay, too. we could have still shared a beer. i would have a friend of his arms around me and said to my brother, your big brother is here. i am looking up for you, man i probably would have cast his arms aside but broken up in sight. instead, barack said, i see.
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i was succeeding academically, but i had already started selling the seeds of my own failure. a big brother's advice might have helped me. but wanted to hit the ball back at me. that would have broken the up, but it was not to be. barack was not made that way. he observed my answers, like an amoeba in of fat and sugar. i talked about music and physics. he rolled his eyes. i see. that is good pbgc any meaning in this? i love music and philosophy. don't you want more? i stared at him. what more is there? thousands of years of western culture. so much more one can learn from the. will you come back to skynyrd? of course, family is here. if i lived in america, that would be my home. it is hard enough getting a telephone service here.
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he seemed to side. try to change the topic of conversation again. how'd you like kenya so far? i like it. and having a good time here, he said casually. the next section talks a little bit about love and takes place actually is china. let me see if i can grab that. who has been to china over here? wow. a lot more people. the children in the front. where did you go?
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did you know some chinese? oh, great. another international family that's great. you know, china is an amazing place. and, you know, the people are amazingly warm and welcoming. and in many ways sometimes you have to veer away. for me, you know, american, at that time it was wonderful to go to china because everything was so strange and wonderful and curious. that me see if i can find this. the right with you.
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leges said : 372 pages. it's in here. well, actually, i tell you what, while i am looking for it, maybe i can take some questions. i will be curious to hear of what your experiences, to. and also, i think we can just leave it open to the floor. what do you think? >> we have time. before you ask a question to raise your hand. >> sure. >> questions and the audience. >> yes.
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>> have you ever visited the president at the white house? >> yes. yes, i have. the first summit went to the white house was the first inauguration. in the whole family was invited. i remember, it was a wonderful feeling. just this tremendous sense of energy in the air. it was optimistic. there was just such enthusiasm. and i remember, we went to the white house with members of our extended family. brock was there. you know, aid was new for him. this is right after he had been inaugurated as president. got a lot on your mind at that moment. he still had time for us. and so he gave us a tour of the white house, about 30 or 40 minutes. i remember, we went into the various rooms. we did not really know what rumsey's work. i remember barack saying, i think this is called the red room, and everything was read.
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[laughter] i waited for more, but there was none, think he said, and this is the green room. yet no comment -- you know, it was interesting because he really wanted us to be part of that special day. i remember even walking up the steps to the oval office, you know, my, you know, my father's first wife, you know, and of little bit of a problem. remember walking up the steps. you know, she was walking slowly. i remember barack turning in charge of prep the steps. just this ability that i thought was absolutely wonderful. and at the end of the day, you know, what happens is even in the presence of such a hallowed institution as the white house, you know, there is nothing more powerful than family with
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all its contradictions and all of its learning is in teachings. so, yeah, that was an amazing experience. and i remember it very fondly. thank you for asking that question. >> hi. how are you? >> think you for coming today. >> i would like to ask you, but have this special day. this connection in with the president? and have another question. when did you realize they your brother would become the most powerful man? >> there are two parts to that. the first one refers to, you know, the relationship. and i think what happens is when your president things change. i don't know. you know, when we met before
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he was inaugurated, a tremendous meeting in austin. was warm the land it was very welcoming. and i think, you know, at that time i gave him some of my calligraphy. he said, well, how'd you hang this to make this we're that way? because it is horizontal and vertical. and that told him, this is the way you spell your name in chinese. up above could. and, remember, you know, it was the first and we had met in about 20 years. it was just a very powerful experience. but at that moment as i saw him walking toward me, it was like a was seeing two people. there was this confluence of tremendous energy, the potential president of the united states command at the same time this is my brother a you know, it is difficult because i see him as my brother, and many others see him as the president. and so when i write in my
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book that i see coming up from beijing for example where he met us, he looked a little tired. i see the request in his face. he looks older than i remember some people say, how can you read about somebody like that? but that is what you see when he love what comes after a hard day of work. they are family command d.c. these details. but come to terms with the brother and the president. in the second part of your question. >> realize. >> well, to me and i knew it well before many of my other friends in china and kenyon knew it. the way i knew it is that -- and the others did, too, may be less skeptical. but you know, at the time of the debate than even before the nomination there was
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just the sense of motion, a sense of momentum, and it was this sense of millions of people moving in a direction toward change. it was not about barack. it was about the people around him. you know, that was the moment when i actually decided i became proud of being in obama. that was the moment when i became proud to be in obama because you see all of these millions of people, and see this movement toward something it at that time which is tremendously inspiring. and i said, this is -- he made me proud of my family. and at that time remember chinese friends saying, you can never be elected. he's black. particular chinese friends. it but this friend of mine, it was a very good friend and said that predella so disappointed. it was as though it were so obvious. but to much of the world it was a a conceivable thing,
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game changer canada hope that answers your question. >> the gentleman in the back. >> saudi come to terms with close like professor cornell west, i caught a political correctness. he will stand in that spot in two weeks selling your brother counterfeit. or michael more. howdy come to terms which the following quotes? >> they do for coming. >> michael more saying that the size the fact that he was the first black elected president barack obama will be remembered for nothing by a street where clint eastwood, icon, saying the way the barack obama is the greatest fraud ever perpetrated on the american people? >> well, i think you for your question. you know, i don't get too much into politics because i
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am a musician and a calligrapher. and they're people who know much more about politics, the details of politics that i do. that is why we have teams of people in government who do these things. but that said, to me it is tremendous that in america you can stand up and say since. and the fact that we can still do it is a wonderful thing. that said, is think that in many cases people expect one man to solve problems. it's very difficult to do that. you know, the one thing which i think we can give my brother credit for, maybe you agree or maybe you don't, is that he is able to inspire people. and he has inspired people who were less fortunate than he would need to go to get schools and, perhaps, also to do things in a beautiful city like new york in the barnes and noble.
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but the thing is, in many cases, you know, people like that needs something. and we're going around the world. i have seen many people. no, of course, there are problems and things that you were not able to do and people lose strong opinion. but i tell you what, he believes in what he is doing , and i think he is trying to do something. no, for me i would say that, you know, we have lots of differences. my politics and my brother's politics are probably not very similar, and also, our grandmothers. his grandmother probably could not. but the thing is, we come together. and i hope that maybe in the future, two more years you will have an agenda to make another choice. that is the wonderful thing about the united states.
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[applause] i will take some more. i really enjoyed this. >> culture. >> hell are you? >> five. how're you? which goes sure you the most comfortable with? >> you know, that is one reason i wrote this book, so i could not answer a question like that. because my book is about three cultures. it is called my personal odyssey of self discovery. the reason i wrote this book is because for much of us in an increasingly globalized world, two or three cultures , you have parents now, part of multiple cultures. so important that we understand. and that went through this in a difficult way. at the brooklyn through this in a difficult way.
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for mixed-race kids today are often on the outside as well as on the inside when a matter where they are, but it is a unique thing. you know, getting back to your point, i think the gentleman to shared his ideas and opinions, one thing which i think help assess an understanding by brother is that he has been able to be on the inside and the outside of multiple cultures. and the question is about the use that? for me, i have always felt that to be an american is to be able says it takes different cultures and follow your own path over encompassing constant about being an american, it's about being an individual. stay in china commendable use it. talk about a contradiction. it is called go your own
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path. let the others say what they made. thank you for that question. >> sign books. >> i absolutely will, but i am still looking for this section. [laughter] it is something about my grandma. i don't know if you guys -- if you know, but my grandmother, qaeda baker, was an amazing person. sheep is a person who helped me understand myself and also introduce me to music. and when i met my wife i imagine would happen if my grandmother had mattered. but if you could just bear with me, i will find it somewhere year. is that is? wonderful. >> this is a man in no salaries. let's give him a and applause please.
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thank you. ♪ 318? he knows my but better than me. that is scary. yet. okay. let's see here. 318. it is at the end of a chapter. it is close. >> their is a part of my meeting my wife. and it happened toward the end of a chapter where we -- folks, here it is. i found it. great. fantastic. okay. thank you for being patient. this is in china. it is about my wife who has been the source of so much and given me the courage in many ways to write.
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to would not have met barack during the campaign if it had not been for her. she said to me is your brother. go and see him if will be gutted by money which i had been saving for a piano. this is a conviction the powers of persuasion. i use that money to buy a ticket to go the next week after a particular event which is mentioned in the buck. and she has been the one he gave me the courage to write because, as all writers no car writing is like pulling teeth. you have to go deeper into yourself and try to be as honest as you can. it is like music. i played piano. i play proved but in the audience know it is good music. how did they know? because it has to come from
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here. if it is not upon not connect with it. in writing is like that. my wife help me understand that. that said, this a little vignette from china, shen zhang, hong kong. a few years ago. china's newest city, only 30 years old, to a million people. i still have a photo of my first date, the ride we took to the lake shore just a few miles from my apartment and is she sat on the back of my bicycle. as young lovers in china do. we sat on the pier and splashed her feet in the water. in a photo from that day her foot is next to mine. i would laugh. it looks like a bigger radish. heading back as a sunset the
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feeling of her hands around my waist made me forget about glasses, banks, and making ends meet, everything will be at that moment i realized i was falling in love with an iran invited hurts my apartment and gave her a special. and i gave her the special dividend may further. it took a bowl of water and handed her red rose. wire you giving me this to vex look closely as mild producing looked more closely. now, pick them up and drop the middle water, i said. we dropped the polls and some of floating against each other. to denounce the anything, but i saw from rise that it did not take much. soon we were dating. i learned that she had recently come from the 210 province pentad taken a job temporarily until she could do better work. her parents were farmers, and she was raised in
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poverty and have like many migrants, she had a dream of living a better life and her mother and father. she wanted to do something i continued to live and work that felt as though my carefully laid plans were no vastly and important. all of my ideas of getting a high-paying job that comes in not predicated of gone back to corporate life, but it would have been leaving the orphans and possibly even at that early stage and would not have been happy america. remember my own happiness. i recall a time when my grandmother visited and wanted to bring one of our kenyan back to america to help her run the house. rudy, i can give her a good salary in the place to stay pure because she would need to do is help me around the house. how much of what someone to help me around the house on
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hearing this proposal, our domestic ills. more than that, she was part of our family. hearing this proposal, was ecstatic it would be great together. but my mother quickly tucked granma out of the idea. she would be away for our people, and it would be a huge shock to her to believe you should consider these things. maybe you're right, i eventually conceded. that was that. she, too, has strong ties to family and to china. did not expect the family to welcome me with open arms, but it was a shock to hear my mother's reaction on first hearing about me. she was horrified to learn her daughter was data for a. you leave me and go away with them, she cried. my grandchildren will not be in china to live with me predellas my daughter.
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distraught after that phone call. and did not know what to say. i had enough trouble dealing with my own family. for now we had a seven. at times, particularly at night in that dream state between wakefulness and sleep by a strange thoughts. the pictures in my mind company images of my youth and can get and prison life in china. as a place that was mine to do whatever with no obligation to my mother, father, friends, or even that long departed but ever-present can in spirit, my grandmother. i could imagine. how did it myself. don't tell me you fell in love with some smart he does not value. young girls these days let themselves be treated like to relate spirited man comes along, does his thing, and then forgets to clean up. cranmer, abcaeight you say that? if so it is the guy's fault. it would not be my

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