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tv   After Words Michelle Easton How to Raise a Conservative Daughter  CSPAN  July 2, 2022 12:52am-1:50am EDT

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eastern important congressional hearings and public events throughout the day. we raised 5:00 p.m. and 9:00 p.m. eastern, catch washington today for fast-paced report on the stories of the day. listen to c-span anytime, tell your smart your, play c-span radio. c-span powered by cable. ♪♪ >> thank you for being here with .e today h me today. the excited to talk about your book how to raise a conservative daughter and it's so funny because when i first heard about this i thought this is a book that's written for me. i'm a conservative, i got five kids, three of whom are daughters and my littlest is nine. my oldest daughter is 15. i thought i am your target market and i enjoy reading it . i just wanted to say thank you. >> thank you for having me
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on. you are truly blessed. >> that's for sure. i feel like there's a lot of people hungry for this information . i feel like a lot of parents who need advice, i just hope before we get into the substance of the book we can talk about what motivated you to write it and why at this moment? was there a reason why you decided this is the time i'm going to start writing this ? >> 20 years ago i found this institute to the center for conservative women to prepare, promote conservative views, not that we didn't have great conservative women leaders but i don't think we promoted our leaders as well as we do now and we certainly didn't hold them up as role models for young women. so the trope is president reagan and president bush and what to do.
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i'm an attorney and i cared about education and it seemed like there was a need back then to focus on our great conservative women leadersand to use them as models . all these years i've been working with young women. thousands of them, hundreds that have gotten close to. and over those years it's always been incredible to me how sharp, how smart, how articulate and gracious some of these young women are so ice good to notice some common things that have happened in there. upbringing and their families and at the same time many of our supporters and other friends said how do these young women turn out so wonderfully . i thought i need to write a book. i need to share what i've learned over these years about a good way to raise a young woman into a smart articulate conservative. it's not a guarantee, there's no guarantees but back in the old days, that's when i was
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growing up if your family was conservative and you regularly went to church or synagogue you had a good shot that your kids would turn out conservative. it is not that way anymore. you know that red the toxic social media, the indoctrination of many of the schools and entertainment industry just seems to go to the lowest level sometimes is not a fair fight. unless you do more as a parent. that's what the book is about. it's 11 chapters and i lay out a number of different areas where it's not this election, pounding on your daughter. how'd do you design your life in ways that are naturally going to turn her into a conservative or at least have a better shot than if you sat back and you really can't just sit back and do nothing. like my parents did way back, you can't do thatanymore. it's such a different place . that's why i wrote it and i
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just am so grateful for the response i've gotten from people. >> that's interesting. you have three sons of your own and i'd be curious because i know you've been incredibly and i think there is especially among us conservatives we know we need to do a better really focused on reaching out to women and there is a reason to talk to women and focus on them or i'd be curious if you didn't open this up before we talk about those kind of lessons you provide parents so what are the differences. do you think there's something unique about the challenges of the present that presents girls and parents of girls versus boys. >>. >> god bless them, those boys are all grown-up but i won't say some tremendouschallenges . i've been working with girls for 20 years. i didn't get to raise a
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daughter and i do think that in some ways it's a little tougher because not only do you have the left and liberals and hate america people but you have this whole radical wing called feminists, not every woman who calls himself a feminist is radical but the leadership of these groups are telling mostly women things they must do to be happy in life and in manycases just dead wrong . i think it's a little tougher to raise daughters so that's tough to. i've been working with them for 28 years. >> i want to get into some of the advice you have and i thought it interesting your first chapter is the book begins being grounded in state and this idea of encouraging a relationship
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with god as the startingpoint of raising a conservative daughter . whydid you start their ? >> first let me say i'm not saying if you're an atheist you can't be a conservative but i think it's a lot harder because the core principles of conservatism of religious faith and freedom are inextricablylinked. there linked in a policy sense, their link and a personal sense with young women . young women who think a lot about self-esteem and you hear a lot about this. self-esteem is okay and this is not unimportant. however self worth is a totally different concept and that's chapter 7 and it goes from god, not government . it's this idea that it's the most important concept for girls to understand. knowing that your deeply made and unconditionally loved by godwill be a cornerstone of conservatism . it's something that goes with
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the policy at the same time. this notion that the government i would argue no, that is not so. it is conveyed to young women in affirmative action, government-funded nets, it really does he suggest where it 'scomes from life where young government is fueled, socialism and left his beliefs in a sense, government is the god and they don't need this god to look to. religion is a cornerstone, the first chapter, very important, a young woman who believes she's uniquely made very special, a special individual from god. skeptical to cultural ways, you tend to look to
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self-satisfaction and others for that where self worth is your own worth as a human being how you were created by god. it's really quite different and effects her personally and affects a lot of other policy views. ... conversation and one that i hadn't heard before was the difference between self-esteem and this kind of fundamental concept of self-worth. i know you didn't want people who are not religious to close the book and say i'm lost if i don't start with that cornerstone of religion but i thought it was interesting and that was someplace where i do think somebody can start. i was thinking to myself i have a lot of friends that aren't conservative that are worried about raising their
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daughters to be good strong people regardless of political beliefs and i think this was that concept of self worth that comes from within that is not contingent on other people's views but it's incredibly powerful. >> i advise parents even if you are not devout yourself, take her to church or synagogue. take her to a religious gathering so she can learn it . and then she can decide. a lot of parents are busy, they don't have time or they don't feel it that deeply. it doesn't matter. let your daughter be part of that and let her decide as she feels the love of god. >> i want to talk about we're talking about girls. it's funny even a year ago if you were starting to write this or conceive of it it was probably a less fraught conversation than it is today
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and i think your most controversial chapter is number five and it's titled a woman's differences are her strengths . i think it's important. i want to talk about this moment of the concept of being a woman or a girl and appreciating the differences. tell me what you think about the moments and the state of the conversation around girlhood to begin with. >> the popular culture you hear a lot of media saying men and women are just the same. no we're not. quite different and i would suggest parents teach their daughters to celebrate the differences. >> they are the most frequent
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and young women in high school or college and the young man you are allowed to race against then and defeat them over and over men are bigger generally bigger hearts bigger muscles they will beat the girls every time that is unfair too rob women of the opportunity to have them race against biological boys they are physically very very different. another area there ise a huge difference is intimacy and we have a little book on this called sense and sexuality. as much alike to moralize
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myself was his medical and real scientific it is about the differences between men and women even just kissing and hugging we have a hormone that comes out with intimacy that is the same as nursing our babies we tend to bond or all the love this is something cannot tell their daughters it out tell them this anymore they just say whatever feels like it so whatever we try to do in this book is a very distinguished counselor and college said come december and january these incredibly talented athletic women are
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depressed or kill themselves because they got caught up in t the hookup culture and the boys move on and then they are accused of promiscuity in a safe only someone had told me about the differences between men and women. so we tell them over 20 years we still get a tremendous number so the popular notion that men and women are the same, no we are not intellectually we are we should have equal opportunity but we are different and we need to teach our girls to celebrate the differences we love men but we don't have men speakers because we just want to do women we are married. we have sons but women are very different something my grandmother used to say, god bless her during the early
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equal rights why would anyone in one to step down to have a quality with a man? [laughter] >> if they have a conservative and moralizing defend into gender norms it's not trying to force any woman to act a certain way but and then you talk about the idea is differences that are present at birth. that does not mean if your daughter plays with the truck, that is great are more power to them but also you should not be afraid of the
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opposite. i do think especially when it comes to muchof of the culture has started to see those traits with femininity if your daughters are playing with dolls and a doing that homemaking type and that is the emergency to get her in an engineering class quick i think that is a little misogynistic women should be ashamed of the instinct to nurture and do things like that. so i like the way that you handle the differences is not trying to push a anybody towards anything that also not diminishing with the intrinsic femininity. >> a girl who was more of a tomboy who likes to climb trees, let her do it let her be what god made her to be. may turn out to be the beauty
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osqueens and little boys that want to play with dolls. okay. but the horror of the whole transgender movement is that many of these, especially the employees who decided they want to be girls at the time they are 18 or 20 if you do these hormonal treatments let's just be kids attend be what they are but there is a whole different agenda and we call that child abuse by voice said it's nature not nurture between grandchildren a boy and a girl it is nature and at two weeks old beer different
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the way they responded and reacted you can give the little girl the truck and she talks to it you can give him a doll and it becomes a projectile appearance are neutral my daughter in law is very athletic and interested in boys things but she treats them exactly alike it is nature. they are born differently and i sat with the twin grandchildren. but it varies tremendously then be what god made them and see how that develops with hormones and horrible things good grief. >> so you wrote a little bit with the different phases with the mother of daughters and
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then to get into tomboy it's interesting having been on the other side. >> it seems like a window that comes back and no not for everybody but from my limited experience there are different phases to assume all of this. >> and it dovetails out of this and job busting myths and what we see for our daughters and if you talk about the different ideas of work and family i went everybody out there to know you're not trying to push these young women which is like a cartoon
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version but then to talk about valuing what we're doing to taking seriously that is worker family and to appreciate families important role that you are not trying to make a choice between the stay-at-home mom and working mom. i'm. >> whether they are working or at home it increases the odds of a stable and happy life for young men and young women it is the best source of lifelong support having said that, some dads are at home but the truth is you use your marriage to
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show the children what love is about what commitment is about. if you happen too be raising your daughter alone as a man or woman in that happens sometimes you can use the family first approach building relationships with the church family to understand the importance of family and how it helps kids feel secure and happy. the other part is that hard work is a virtue. and an interesting thing i have asked them over the years what is some of the most important things that came up over and over again have a job when you are in high school many of us think of her first
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job people usually smile what was it? mine was in a movie theater and i was 16 only at work on the nonschool nights sometimes i sold tickets my dad's tended to be dominant he would complain about the size of government and taxes and a middle-class family but my first paycheck minimum wage was a dollar 25 and that's a huge chunk taking out for taxes that taught me more as a good learning experience for me as a a young woman with policy government issue
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teaching them to get to know people other than the family they get paid for what they do so it is really key. supervised of course and in safe places and it was good learned a lot but than the other part is back in the old days there were many conservatives who said it's just wrong for a woman to be out of the house working she should be home full-time with her children now finding basic economics when women need to work for one of the arguments i make in the book if all the conservative women are home and not out in public speaking about these issues that just
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clears the field that we know that's a falseme representation so families do sometimes sacrifice for women like you and me for those policies we truly believe in i was blessed
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my mom and dad lived across the street for 20 years not as babysitters but they would watch the babysitters. [laughter] and that made it comfortable for me to have the career that i have i love my parents i was very close to them and truly blessed to have them there may kids were healthy my sons were healthy that so many different things the individual the husband or the wife does he do what he should? do you have the economic means? but the core argument is of all the conservative women were just full-time with the kids what a disaster we need to be out there whether full-time or part-time
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conservative women need to be out there working. >> i thought it was interesting not only the idea with different ages of the idea of the value of money and the value of time with the feeling of self-worth or to get the first paycheck as an older kid but i thought it was interesting of jsoaboube how wd
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about work it was very helpful to me as a reminder how important it is not to complain i love my job i love being a mom because we need to make sure that they do remember that working and being a parent is incredibly rewarding personally. >> nine out of ten people don't like their job it is a mission for you and it's true that some people's jobs are just to put food on the table and they do the best they can but if you can find a job that you like find the profession a love is just like raising kids i cannot imagine life without children there are times there's like children these are hard days are the most important decisions that don't get it wrong. get it right and you have to work at it is not hard it's . y and i wrote down this linees i tell girls they can be stay-at-home moms are successful working mothers or
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mix of both whatever they choose hard work is required that is a nice way to put it because one of the themes in your book is the idea that hard work not being a bad thing but it is a good thing also to be worth sticking with and i do think raising a child that you are proud of. >> and hard work is central both to the american dream and personal development. >> and the notion from aocsaouor remember she had the line where we encourage economic security for those who are unwilling? how do you say that with a straight face? >> yes it's funny because with the danger of all expectations and for their own good but then to segue with those number of institutions that
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are challenging because not that long ago i do know if my parents thought this in the early seventies but they
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shouldn't think of schools as a detriment to raise a healthy and happy child and certainly i think they thought it would play a role in politics the most conservatives say they worry about within their veryls and even more soththw
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political it is one-sided so can you talked about this the problems with the school of parents should think of how to navigate? >> there was a time in america where most teachers and parents may share the same values so you could totally trust the teacher with your child this is pretty much me growing up from government schools where i grew up there is tremendously different values and we see it the way america's founding is time for example the truth is our founding fathers forge government to protect our rights the rights come from god, not government i would venture to say that start and very few schools but that's a fact and if you don't believeoll
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as well. i do think the challenge you lay out in the book, provides good rubric for israel to be involved. involved. you can't hand this off to schools because you can't trust come yet to be an active participant, otherwise you don't know what's going to be on. >> homeschooling is not a practical option for many pairs. there are times when i thought about but i decided, i love -- i couldn't get into pickup to do their assignments.
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god didn't make me a teacher of the kids. my job here is a teacher at a much broader sense but those moms and dads who do the homeschooling, god bless them. that is commitment, real parental involvement. i given huge credit. but for most of us were working it's not it's just not an option. you just have to be eternally vigilant of what your kids are being taught. one of the things i talk about in terms of what can you do, danner, , dinner. on the big advocate of dinner it's hard, the kids are doing sports and mom and dad may be traveling working late but every night you can you should have dinner and you should use that as an opportunity to talk about these issues talk about what's going on in school be alert to it. and listen. because if you want, you know from your kids, you can't just -- i can't do that.
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listen. good open it questions to find what's going on and you need to be in touch with the teacher as well. but dinnertable conversations are a wonderful time to start a talk to children about principles you believe in. for example, in a five or six-year-old watching on the news, if they watch the news, tens of thousands, hundreds of thousands of these for people from central america trudging come all kinds of hardships to come to america. why don't they go to venezuela which is half the distance and here? this is a wonderful opportunity to explain the difference between freedom and socialism. the socialist country where the government runs everything, they don't go there. they don't get on brass and paddle out to cuba. why not? because america is a free country. i try to make suggestions in the book for ways that you can start a talk even very young children
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about some core principles with conservatives believe in. >> i like, i'm sure some of the way kids are getting this in the news would make the conclusion of why nobody is going in the opposite direction to get into cuba versus ours. we're talking about k-12 schools and then we go to college. my impression at a do think when you think of a child just between young women and young men were going off to college if you're a parent and you think about the forces of you think you've gotten pretty close having a a conservative daughr and send off to college, that's rough because of the forces that are going to greet her there. can you talk about that, the challenge of higher ed in general and what are your recommendations? i think parents need to be aware of what they're going to be up against and also some ways to navigate it.
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>> it's a very challenging time when you send your kids off to college. i know even with my own while they were conservatives, the social life can be quite dominant. it's just free, and in my opinion not all children are ready for it at 18. 18. i'm a huge proponent of, not that i didn't do it, committed to college, , maybe for a year r two to see if they're serious about -- 50,000 a year on some school. if you'd been been working on these issues all along the way you can feel a little more secure. but even some of the people, they lose their girls. encouraging them to get involved with conservative groups on campus. there's a lot of them now. it's a wonderful thing and to be with like-minded young people. some girls find that in in a
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sorority. you go to big campus and how do you find your identity? it's your group of friends that can you suggest how you ought to behave. but it's very tough. there are some wonderful schools. larry loves me because i was sick if i had a to do over when my kids were seniors in college i was a you can code hillsdale or go to work. my third way to hillsdale, what a wonderful come he's a best education of all. not everything was conservative but it's a structure. not the kids don't misbehave at hillsdale for so many of the schools and the girls at work with, talk about how they have to write liberal papers. they have to stifle themselves in class. there on scholarships, i have to get in a in order to be successful. that's outrageous, outrageous. >> yes. it's interesting when you talk about i do think a lot of people
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if you're not in the trenches and thinking about feminism as a culture surrounding women in public policy people don't recognize just how political and one-sided a a women's studies department is in university. they should pay attention. >> they should. those courses, those departments, they never mention conservative women except perhaps to condescend or ridicule them. they love, for example, held the shapley, god rest her soul, she used to love to do debates for us and for other groups -- phyllis schlafly -- she would say how she just loved to pull the strings. she would say i'm only here tonight because they let me come here. they would go crazy. but she still phyllis shar mentioned. even if the incredible things she did to stop the equal rights
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amendment by what within fold-down housewife if she never gets for that. clare boothe luce booth, are found for conservative women is named after, she is never mentioned except in a snide and obnoxious way. congresswomen and centers like senator blackburn. it's all about liberal left-wing socialist marxist women. that's what women's studies are. that's absurd. they find out who they are there and they say you are not welcome. it's outrageous. >> as you write about one thing says most pressing to me when it comes to the policy debates and the misrepresentations, and that's the wage gap and i find it i hope i hope i like you kind of a dresser because it's one pairs need to be ready to push back on because it's interesting even as we're talking about his iq points of which are any less that are out there who shares
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this using this word feminism as if, as if, we take for granted you and and i know what we'e talking about but, of course, you and i believe in women's equality and equal rights and all of those things that women can be whatever they want to be but that's not really what the feminist movement is about anymore. rankling the feminist movement isn't a focus on women anymore. when it comes to something like the wage gap it's an incredibly disempowering message the wage gap to distort how women that based on choices that they make. >> actually your organization shows that similarly situated educated and then the feminist and the left have never taken
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into account as women. i'm an attorney. i went to law school in the eighties of i was in the light on —- the big bucks law firm as head of a nonprofit but we make choices that allow us usmore flexibility but for me and my aging parents i had a little bit more flexibility than i would have as a lawyer in. a big firm. and then toly take that into account and is totally absurd. and that i take women's studies classes. and then with the different lenses.
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but then first started to read about the wage gap to assume that we should judge everything our careers and earnings and worth i thought it was funny because a lot of women out there for however many thousand dollars and a salary those have that flexibility to be at home. >> but they are making a mistake in makingw that choice i wish i worked a little harder to close the wage gap. >> why do so many women become teachers? my dad, god restt his soul i got a degree in psychology with the teacher certification. i was ready to fly the coop
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like washington and started off as a desk job in a conservative organization he was very distraught you want have your summers off for your children or have more flexibility and there are choices that women make that allow them to live their life and then to live their lives the way they want to have time to do the things that are important the feminist will not acknowledge that. >> i thought that to encourage the growth to recognize they have to make choices and there will be sacrifices you can be a working mom and then with
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your own vision of happiness there is 1000 different ways to do it. and then the next 50 years. with three healthy sons do help them on the data across the street with the chosen profession that gives you the flexibility, what is your energy level? a lot of people have different points of view and different abilities so there is no one ryway for everybody that's what they cannot acknowledge. >> and get the feminist yes they deserve the tile one —- the title but the female role
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models. to talk about margaret thatcher and a number of conservative leaders today who are getting the treatment from ithe women's magazines but are there any that you feel parents should have in their head. and then looking around yesterday senatorse blackburn and then to be very strong very moving. and some of the wonderful conservative speakers they need to talk about people like margaret thatcher.er not that there is anything wrong with it.
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and ronald reagan doing incredible things she was the age of my great-grandmotherat and the things that she did back then when women were not igat the podium so 1944 republican nationall convention giving the keynote speech and soe ahead of the times. but basically she homeschools. her father was a musician he left the family. so what an incredible career of writers and speakers why
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don't they teach you about that because it's about left-wing liberalism. >> margaret thatcher is one is all that he will worship that goes on likeli mrs. clinton and just the idea i don't tried to be dismissive that she had her own career but then maggie thatcher where if you want to inspire she came a fairly modest family so why are girls taught about her she change the course of history. >> i got to meet her in london once with a group that was over there during the time when she talkedsh to each person and then she took my hand into
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the picture and said you are doing a wonderful thing for america. she was such a wonderful leader and then did the movie with a meryl streep for years and years. and the conservative women. >> so that's another topic we have a test on that your book talks about is dealing with the media and thinking about the role it's funny because growing up in the eighties but when you're turning off the television and my goodness i have to policeut my kids computer and then it is incredibly complicated.
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and then when it comes to navigating that. >> many parents to understand how powerful social media is it is immensely influential and parents fail to restrict that in any way. but it is restrictively give this example our rule was on school nights no tv but you need to repair be watching tv and what did they do they would read or play sports they did art they were in church uegroups but i would argue today's parents you need to restrict the social media however you want tot, do it, take it away for however many hours and encourage them
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to get involved in the empty online life summary just totally focused and can be very damaging it puts before them the extravagant materialism but if you can encourage them church thing and synagogue things you have to read books as a role model if you don't start i recommend and how to raise a conservative daughter get your kids reading books and good books and youoo have to read good books and these things are so much better to fill their life and the emptiness of so much social media it really does need to be restricted more than most parents do. >> i love that you challenge
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parents to be good models because i know a lot of parents out there spend a lot of time they post pictures of their kids doing xyz matters but what about the hard work to make sure you spend enough time of quality time with your kid and put the phone down. >> it is hard. they are so busy you have to close up the phone and close the laptop you have to stop and talk. and then america and patriotism. not the mandatoryno volunteerism and then forced to go through
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the motions whether people in your family or neighbors they've done so much that they had to do so many hours of service but they had to go to some other places they didn't know or care about so this is mandatory that getting kids involved in the church or the synagogue that's a great thing to do you teach them to be good in their heart and money cannot buy that. >> i thought this was a good summary parents need to make sure that they themselves raise their children not
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government and it sounds like it would be easy but that's a big challenge. >> it's not easy at all it's very hard to be a parent i don't suggest it is easy but most parents areug doing their best for what i suggest more things and better use of time to shape their daughters a little better than what they are doing. it's hard to be a parent or it's hard to be a young woman. it takes a lot of effort and love we will make mistakes. you have to be forgiving but it's not easy. hoping people willic have nice gentle specific ideas of things they can do maybe a little a differently if they are
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already in high school and start doing these things there is a better chance at a wonderful and happy life and appreciate the goodness that is in her. >> that's a great place to close up thank you for providing the book fighting the good fight and then encouraging everybody so thank you so much for talking with me today. >> wonderful questions that you asked i really enjoyed this and the work of your organization of years as well. >> thank you
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