n't beat zero heartburn. woo hoo! [ male announcer ] prilosec otc is the number one doctor recommended frequent heartburn medicine for 8 straight years. one pill each morning. 24 hours. zero heartburn. welcome to "red eye." tonight, coming up, is the government training the fastest assassi assassi assassins? the shocking footage that will melt your eyeballs. does the vice president thing meerkats should run for president. >> they're tough. they're strong. are they secretly plotting a revolution against those that neglected them. none of these stories on "red eye" tonight. >> let's welcome our guests. if you looked up the word hot in
the dictionary you'd be an idiot. all you have to do is look at this lady. it's miss new york. his mood ring committed suicide because he's really depressing. it's actor and comedian nick depalo. my favorite baldwin. he's stephen baldwin. you can see him in i'm in love with a church girl. i watched it 12 times and grew wings of gold. >> that's the first story. >> i came up with a new phrase for a sex act. it's called a hot marty. >> really. what's that about? >> i don't want to get into it. should we say good-bye to the butterfly? in a story that hannity refuses
to cover, they banned the release of butterflies at weddings and other celebrations as seen here. they say the practice is harming conservation efforts and the head of the butterfly association agrees telling foxnews.com there's no reason these large winged creatures should be treated as party favors. there will be meetings held in the coming weeks and red reported back not mentioned in any of this is the dark, dark side of butterflies. take a look.
that's true. in latin butterfly means to kill. >> that's really what killed those animals. sorry. >> do these butterflies even care if they're party favors? seriously, this is great job for them. >> i would just think that it's quite innocent and this whole thing is kind of stupid. >> i don't think it's stupid enough. i'm going to talk about this for an hour. nick. butterflies, they're just insects in cool clothes. if flies were at party, you would step on them. in this case they get carried around in a little bag. >> i look at them as moths with tattoos. you got to be careful. you celebrate. i was at a brisk once and one
flew away with the foreskin. they got a lot of hot issues going on in san francisco. what are they stuck in a time warp? come on. it's a butterfly. i like the domestic over the wire butterflies. it's not a game. >> it's a good soup. put it on the soup. >> my theory is butterflies get away with a lot of crap because they're like you. they're like the hot models. >> i started out as a fuzzy caterpillar that no one wanted to bring to a wedding. >> that's true, actually. >> now, look at you. >> i know. like the band because if i were my wedding, i would be the bride who the insects come to me and in the pictures i'm awkward and trying to avoid the insects because they're insects.
>> they are insects. these are not good creatures. they're flies in giant cat costumes. the kind of things you would see on broadway, overextravagant. >> when did this butterfly thing start with you in. >> in camp, i woke up and my shorts were gone. i thought they were shorts but they with butterflies. never go to bed smeared in honey. andy, i suppose you think is a good idea because butterflies have a conscience. they can understand things with their tiny brains and we should respect that. >> i'm a member of the north american man butterfly. i do feel bad for these butterflies. i think the whole thing of how this started, i think it came about because of that stupid
rumor that throwing rice at weddings was bad because birds would eat it and expand and explode, which is not true. i feel like all these environmentalists said you can't do that. >> what you're saying is throw the rice and choke the butterflies to death? >> i'm saying throw butterflies that are already dead maybe. >> that's better. >> as i spit all over him. >> that's better. >> dead butterflies. >> that's a completely rational solution. >> anybody been at a celebration with a butterfly? >> no. >> does this only happen in san francisco? >> maybe. >> i would go back to make a point to an even more serious topic. this is totally look it. >> locusts. >> it's locusts.
the only reason they care is they look good. that's the problem with our society. >> people shouldn't go out of their way to do things that are harmful to fuful to any of natu creatures. >> i can't tell if he's serious or not. >> that's why he's alone and miserable. he coldly sanctioned the murder of our national symbol. it's another of president obama's victims. as the president has allowed windmill companies to kill bald and golden eagles for up to 30 years without penalty. there's one there. the legal protection tengextendo wind farms that try to avoid hurting the migratory birds. wind farms since 2008 have killed 67 bald and golden eagles. to put that in perspective that's under 70. conservation groups are up in arms. the president of autobahn said
instead of balancing the need for conservation and renewable energy, inteerp your wrote the wind industry a blank check. a blank check for genocide. that's what happens when you stand behind michael moore. stephen. >> yes, sir. >> are you surprised be obama administration would support the murder of america's symbol since clearly he wasn't going to born here? >> that's what i was going to say that. >> i was going to say that too. >> he was born here. >> after a recent interview with the huffington post i stated i'm not longer going to make political statements. with that in mind, are you surprised really in this guy's
america. i don't want to say his name. this guy's america. >> just say kenyan born lady hating interloper. >> muslim. we're just channelling different hosts. nick. >> yes, sir. >> how many bald eagles must die before our president is satisfied? 2 million, 3 million. >> who cares about the bald ones? this is the administration, remember they didn't want to build the keystone pipeline to protect the whooping crane. he's a marxist. i'm kidding. he knows he has that reputation. wouldn't he make an exception here for the eagle. >> maybe he's just having fun with us. let's kill them.
this makes a good little prank. you surprise me because in the green room you said, and i quote, because i wrote it down here, stupid eagles deserve it. [ bleep ] them. they had it coming. then you threw hot water on a lady who is now in the hospital. >> she's bald. >> she's bald now thanks to you. >> we are avoiding the real issue. these eagles are committing suicide. they are flying into these wind turbines. we need to create hotlines. we need to focus our energy not on this big issue of the president. it's on the well being of these birds and they are clearly depressed. >> they are. i wonder why? >> obama care. >> i don't understand that either. >> i would have to say between the butterflies and the eagle, it's the end of the world. >> it is. this is a flight conscience show. bald eagles shouldn't be
depressed. they don't have to stick around when they're bored. they go i'm going to go somewhere else. it's not like andy. you stay home all day and do nothing. you're the anti-eagle. >> i cannot believe i'm on a panel who are putting some animal's life ahead of industry. i'm going to say bravo to the administration. this country was built on industry. the businessman is a great symbol of this nation than any animal could be. >> you convinced me. kill them all. i go back to my point to the butterflies, it's because they are bold. if they were hot, it's a different story. >> i forgot you made that point. >> did you? >> was he just channelling
colbert? andy. >> who's that? >> it is the look of society. >> the irony is wind farms don't work. >> we're still doing it any way. >> it would if the birds stopped ruining the turbines. once the birds are dead and stop fouling up the work you'll have unli unlimited power. they put the trash in trash. clo alcoholics in amsterdam are getting paid to pick up beer. the new york city describes one worker shift as his workday begins at 9:00 a.m. with two cans of beer. he gets two more at lunch and another at 5:00. if all goes smoothly, two to round off a productive day. that's seven. what's going on over there in. >> they just had another beer.
>> street cleaners get lunch and cigarettes. critics dismiss it as a beer project and say it's misguided. one city official argues that alcoholics cannot be ostracized. speak of problem drinkeri of pg. i wouldn't say that's a problem. he's getting the water. nick. isn't this better than having drunks sit in the park all day like yourself? gets them to do things. >> yes and no. there's going to be beer cans everywhere. they're going to be picking up their own crap. >> it's like self-fulfilling. >> it's a dream.
you come home and puke it in trash. your wife says what have you been doing? time and a half. how do they handle the overtime situation? >> during the holidays you probably get extra hours. >> this is like paying single moms not to have kids. it made sense in the car. i'll let the other three have a shot at it. >> stephen, should the government be subsidizing their drinking? they subsidized far worse? >> i don't think it's a good idea. i'm going to stop and say people please, please. >> you're saying it's a good idea? >> it's a bad idea because these people have problems. >> it's a bad idea because it doesn't lead to any help. >> i don't know.
>> single moms. >> if you can't change somebody at least have them do something that's worth while. >> but keep them drunk. >> seven beers, cigarettes, 15 bucks. that's a saturday for me. this is awesome. i would do this all the time. in fact, i will do this all the time. you once dated a home less drunk. what draws you to these men and do you like to think you can change them? >> it's that idea of wanting to be able to change man. my mother always said you give a man a beer, he'll drink for day, but you tell him to pick up after himself and he'll drink for a lifetime. >> changing his diaper. >> put aside the moral dilemma that's enabling a alcoholic for the well being of the city, it's a great idea. all throughout the day we reward ourselves for doing work we don't want to do, how is this
different in they're just integrating these alcoholics back into society. >> they're doing something productive while doing what they want. she's right. this is exactly what we do every day. >> this is going to cut out jobs. it used to be if you were drunk you would go to work and get paid and take the money and go somewhere and buy beer. now they are just giving you the beer so you're not going to that place to buy the beer and you're going to be put grocery stores out of business and liquor stores out of business. this is not good. >> can i ask you a question? >> sure. >> can you run for president in 2016. >> i have a lot of rap sheet. >> he has a lot of solutions. >> is that funny to you? >> i'm the same way.
>> shut up. this could help some alcoholic by raising their self will lead getting help. it's an experiment so let it play out. it's not our country. >> it's amsterdam. if you go to amsterdam, which i did once. if you take pictures anywhere the city, i was with my wife. we weren't married then but walk all over the place. every picture we got back there was somebody in the background vomiting. there would be a guy on his hands and knees puking his brains out. >> that was me. >> why did you come with us ? >> i didn't. i was just following you around.
>> we were the only people who weren't high. >> okay. >> i can't smoke pot. i get too crazy. i'm sorry. if i could do any drug on the planet except for pot and vicodin. i will go to the hospital the moment i smoke a joint. >> you haven't smoked vicodin. >> they do horrible things to me. i don't know why i'm telling people this. >> 90-year-old man. >> yeah. i can't eat chili anymore. that and vicodin. >> that's true. i can't eat chili. >> you take a prilosec with the vicodin. >> we are old. all of us are old. stephen still has great hair. that's the thing that bothers me. i don't understand what they put in the baldwin's -- >> how is bald in your name?
that's the most annoying thing in the world. >> it's weird. >> during the break i want you to look up the phrase hot marty. by the time the show airs it will be a term often used in certain areas of msnbc. coming up, we'll name our 2013 person of the year. spoiler alert, it's me for the seventh year in a row because i'm awesome. is this the least romantic film of all times? part three in our 37 part series on love actually. [ male announcer ] scope outlast
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on this. critics agree with me. he says he's had enough of the stupid fluff. he says that people who watch the movie as an annual tradition like andy and joe are utterly insane. as for what love actually tells the us about love, he says i think it tells us a number of things. most of them wrong and fu of them appalling. it's time for. >> "red eye" debate 2013 live from the "red eye" debate center. >> welcome back to the debate center. as you can tell we've changed the light. well, no. one of the stupidest and destructive themes of the movie is find the courage to say i love you and everything is great. in the real world it could get you killed. it's called stalking. stalking is okay in love
actually? >> yes. i've tried it. i'm not as good as the actors in the film. i think the guy that wrote that column had his heartbroken. i think he was feeling vulnerable. that's the amazing thing about this film. it is. it forces do yyou to be vulnera when you confess your love to someone not really knowing them or when you get your heartbroken when you have the perfect relationship crumb abl crumble . >> that was pretty good. i believed her. i believed her. you took an acting class. >> you really did. >> that was two weeks of misner. >> is that an antibiotic? >> you didn't see this movie? >> no. >> you must have an opinion because you're a baldwin?
>> yes. i'm guessing that there's some frequency of hope that they're trying to express here. this film was made when? >> 2003. i hate i know that. >> wasn't that before the surge of social networking that we have today? >> yeah. >> hope's dead. hope's over. >> that's why we need this film. we need it. >> hope floats. >> depends what you ate the night before. >> i was going to say that in a much dirtier way. >> that's why i got ahead. i got in line to cut it up. that's called advance censoring. nick, tell me you would try to injure everyone any this movie in you had the chance? >> yeah. hugh grant. if i want to see a romantic
comedy i'll watch my favorite porn which is searching for bobby's fisher. anything from ron jeremy in the '70s and '80s. >> i cleaned it up. >> try to think about when you're talking about points for love actually that i'm going to come up with things for pornographic anal sex. >> i never saw the movie. you made me live it in realtime. it was like 11 pages. >> he didn't make up that porn title. >> he didn't. >> that's real title. >> i had no idea. >> i love my wife more now than i did when i first saw her. isn't that your complaint it
makes it too easy? >> yeah. >> i can't participate in any pornographic conversation. my hair can stay. >> i'll write a face on here. this is when you don't like the story, go like that. in you go. >> why would any guy sthee? >> because his girlfriend is bringing him. >> i'm talking about guys that don't have girlfriends. i answered my own question. >> you spout nonsense where ever this movie is concerned. >> here are some people that have never said a nice word about love actually. the syrian president bashar assad. fastest dictator adolph hitler. all of those people have never said anything nice about this movie. i rest my case. >> i looked at the movie and i'm
convinced it's satanic because love actually is 12 letters. divided by two it's six. three sixes is the mark of the beast. i trumped whatever you just did there. >> i want to say all those people you mentioned started out as child geniuses. >> i'm still half of that. three of them grew. >> i think the movie is the new it's a wonderful life. >> that's what they're trying to make it into. it's more like a miserable pile of crap. >> it's great movie. coming up, tonight c block is sponsored by black hole. the regions of space having a field that no matter of radiation can escape.
thanks black hole. you're welcome greg. thanks for the hot marty. what is this? what does it want from us? sounds like a job for our frightened correspondent. he's here. he's terrified. [ male announcer ] here's a question for you: if every u.s. home replaced one light bulb with a compact fluorescent bulb, the energy saved could light how many homes? 1 million? 2 million? 3 million? the answer is. 3 million homes. by 2030, investments in energy efficiency could help americans save $300 billion each year. take the energy quiz. energy lives here. take the energy quiz. ♪
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millions have raised their hand for the pren relief of the purple pill. and that relief could be in your hand. for many, nexium helps relieve heartburn symptoms from acid reflux disease. find out how you can save at purplepill.com. there is risk of bone fracture and low magnesium levels. side effects may include headache, abdominal pain, and diarrhea if you have persistent diarrhea, contact your doctor right away. if you have persistent diarrhea, other serious stomach conditions may exi. avoid if you te clopidogrel. for many, relief is at hand. ask your doctor abouxium. were they wise to apologize? the university of alabama
student newspaper said it's sorry after an editorial cartoon was seen as racist. it depicted the end of the iron ball in which they returned this field goal for a game winning touchdown. i'm great with sports. >> you're so butch. >> i am. you should see me without my shirt on. as you can see the cartoon says this is what happens in obama's america. some idiot thought it was racist and on thursday the paper wrote cartoon was meant as satire and it was perceived as having racist intentions. we regret this and apologize to anyone who is offended. this mistake we'll not make again. let's look at the highlights from last week's game.
should the paper have apologized? please have no in your answer. >> of course no. it's pro-obama. the message is saying he gets blamed for everything. >> i'm going to steal that. i didn't say that. joe hicks said it. he was talking about the rights when he said it. it's true. the only way that could be racist is the guy scoring the touchdown was white and the guy trying to tackle him is black. then i would have a problem, if i was black. >> it's they're ffult. not your fault. >> it's about perception. like the beauty. i don't apologize for mine. it's not racist. this is black and white, the picture. and the obama's america looks
like the writing in rocky horror picture show, so i enjoyed that. >> i'm glad you found some pleasure in this. it's not even a good point. >> stephen. >> sir. >> a bunch of people have apologized for things lately, no names necessary here. does that need stop. too much apologizing, i think. >> i think if you look at this situation it's weird because there's other satire type things happening across the country that probama's america and nobody said anything about that. that's a little crazy. what was weird to me is the athletes in the cartoon were birds that i thought were injured by the wind energy. for me, i thought was the controversy. >> wow. you were deeply offended. >> totally. >> you on a hunger strike? >> no. >> andy, you were saying that this apology wasn't enough. what do you think should happen? >> i think the editor should be fired. i think the paper should be shut
down. i want the offices burned to the ground. talk about the name of the paper. it's the perfect example of what i like to call the obamafication of american wussy. it's on sale everywhere now. i've never seen it. >> can they buy one of those rolled up denim shirts that you like to wear? >> we're working on that. right now they come in buff and extra buff. >> is that you on the cover? >> i wrote the book. >> it doesn't exist, stephen. . >> wait. it doesn't. >> it doesn't. we drugged you and told you you wrote the book. >> this is what happens. i guess i'm not paying my dealer
back. >> people jus want people to apologize. they don't care if you're sorry. they just want to win. >> you're right. people like eric michael dyson and lamont hill want to monopolize the discussion about race. you named two black guys and threw a white liberal in there. >> i don't want to get letters in an angry font. they don't want you to comment at all about race if you're white. >> that doesn't apply here. there was nothing about race in this cartoon. >> who do you think is complaining and calling it racist? >> all right. break it up or don't break it up. next topic. a texas elementary school has banned christmas trees and the colors red and green a its
upcoming winter party. the school in frisco would violate a state law called the merry christmas law which predicts traditional holiday greetings. the school's principal said it's a decision to avoid offending any families. stephen, i bet you applaud this kind of activity. >> not really. you got my boy over there in texas that's going the other way with this. i liked when he was jogging with his dog and shot the coyote. go to extreme measures to turn this around. >> you're saying shoot the principal? >> i never said anything of the sort. >> you were thinking it. >> there needs to be some type of revolution. >> violent, nonviolent? >> say nonviolent. please say nonviolent. nonviolent. >> he did. i heard him.
>> is the easy solution to deck the halls in purple so everybody is happen? >> these people are idiots. i don't use words like this often. >> watch the language. >> there's nothing christian about santa, spruce true, the colors green or red. maybe red. nothing about christmas these days is such a secular religion to people. it's not. there's nothing about the birth of jesus at this holiday party and any kid that's telling his friend about the three wise men, has no friends. it's not his friends it's himself. >> i got nothing to say about this. this is racial. >> i was going to ask you if this is political correctness gone amuck. i was thinking should it be run amuck, so i decided not to ask it. >> we live in a country where
the christmas colors are as dan dangerous as the ones gang bangers use. what's my point? >> the font is too small. >> i blame the teachers that go along with this. they don't want to hurt anybody's feelings. >> they whisper it on national tv. nobody is going to see this. >> you know what i mean? they're afraid of being sued by the aclu. call their bluff. i got on plane. he's reading out of book. ban his hat. >> why does that make you uncomfortable? >> because, i don't know. did they hurt you? he's praying away meaning he knows something about the plane that i don't. >> where did we end up with jews
in planes? >> i don't know. i would like to be on plane now. >> we're on a different plane. are these stories fabricated so fox news can do them. >> as the only liberal on the panel i say good for them. they don't have to see the trappings of religion while in school. we can't be doing this. i don't even know. first social security tit's tht. >> that was frisco in san francisco. >> more stuff when we come back. look what i have here. it's called a beer cozi. it comes out with my book. you can also pre-order it at all book retailers. it's called "not cool." what are you doing?
you have time to shop for car insurance today? yeah. i heard about progressive's "name your price" tool? i guess you can tell them how much you want to pay and it gives you a range of options to choose from. huh? i'm looking at it right now. oh, yeah? yeah. what's the... guest room situation? the "name your price" tool, making the world a little more progressive.
you just follow the tears. i'm going to play it safe and be care scared like i always do. >> are you going to be stay out of water? >> like my high school yearbook said you take risks just getting up in the morning. you could slip in the shower, you can get eaten by something in the ocean. i'm going to stay out of water. >> i think that's a good move. according to reports lethal black widow spiders have been found in grapes in michigan, wisconsin and minnesota. aren't spiders good because they eat other insects. sg people tell me that all the time and i tell them to get their head out of their -- spiders are poisonous. >> should we be worried about this? are you worried? >> of course i'm worried. that's why i only drink wine.
>> do you think it will spread? >> black widows are already 450 sta 50 states. we're talking about kardashians, people are dying every day. >> i imagine you eat alone in the closet eating can of tuna. >> that's a good night for me. i'll take that night. sounds good. i'm going to pick up some tuna on the way out of here. >> all right. lula. it's a popular women only app for raisiting men. it's raising concerns about a man pseudofor low scores and negative reviews. joe, you're already afraid of women and now they can rate you online. how are you taking this news? >> i am terrified of women. any time i'm being rated on attractiveness and attentifrness, i'm as
comfortable as someone sitting in water bed drinking cam mill and reading a book. >> i find that surprising. >> it's a lot better than talking to them in person if it's on the internet. >> i see your point now. how is your dating life going? >> it's not going well. i should have said not to mention that. >> last story. alabama, they are warning residents to be ware of swarms of killer bees. these are africanized honey bees spreading in florida and moving north. should alabama evacuate? >> it's pretty tough to get people to evacuate from the south if history is any guideline. i'm not sure it's going to work either way. the bees are spreading north rapidly, two kilometers a day. i'm not sure it's going to work.
>> we can't move any faster than that. >> i did not of that but they'll be there. >> eventually they will make it because it won't stop. do you have any tips on how to defends one's self. >> they look like other bees. just holler killer bees. when every one else is panicking, run. >> that's a good strategy. >> i know how to avoid bees. >> it's always a pleasure watching you get really frightened. i hope you get home safely and you get your can of tuna. >> i'll be in the closet soon. >> aren't we all, my friend. thank you. coming up, our last story and a little chat with mr. baldwin. we're going across america to let people try
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>> that does look like sven and carl. >> i don't like the way you say escape. that implies they are held against their will. >> i think they're interested in that woman's badger. she seemed to have been hunting a badger. >> good for you. all right. >> how much time do we have? >> all right i want to ask you a question about your brother. do you think he should have gotten canned from msnbc? >> no. >> no? >> but i think there was announcement it wasn't kind of working out they way they thought and hoped i think everybody is happy. >> yes. >> except marte.
>> i have a feeling hot marte will never lose that gaim name for the rest of his career. >> do you get it? do you get it? >> what could people see i fell in love with a church girl? >> i'm in love with a church girl. >> boring. >> jarule, do you remember remember rarul snechlt >> yes. nits theaters just look around. it's -- >> how is it doing some >> doing well. it's a little indy sucker but doing well. >> what is next? more apprentice? >> no. no. we both survived the trump rehab. and i'm going to direct my first movie next year. >> awesome. excellent. >> i'm happy to be part of the movie. >> i can play a debonair talk show host >> i want a role from craft
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okay. so that website thing didn't go off so well, but no worries. it will be up and running by the end of november. >> it will take until the end of november for an optimally functioning website. >> by the end of november, the site will function effectively for the vast majority of the american people. >> based on our analysis, we will have it fully functioning by the end of november. >> and by the end of this month, we anticipate it will be working the way it is supposed to. all right? >> and now it's december. hello and welcome to "j