tonight on "red eye." >> coming up on "red eye", robot sumo. a look inside the sexy new sport where they will sell you the seat, but you will only need the edge. and what should college co-eds do if they meet andy levey on the street? >> try to hookup with him and talk to him about volunteering. that should be common sense. >> and finally, when is it a good idea to go water skiing barefoot? >> there you go. ya! >> probably never. our panel will debate it anyway. none of these stories on "red eye" tonight. >> and now let's welcome our guests. her smile is brighter than the
rockefeller tree. i don't know what that means. i am here with imus in the morning associate producer. she is going home for the holidays. home is what she calls the nearest liquor store that takes food stamps of the it is joanne noah chin ski. and -- nosuchunsky. and he will be spending christmas at the movies because he is a lonely, freak. it is andy levey. i asked for a chia pet for christmas, but this is close enough. comedian sam morrell or morrell, who cares? >> a block. the lede. that's the first story. >> it will play on christmas day. in a victory for freedom and fart jokes, sony announced "the interview" will see a limited theatrical release this christmas. so will i. the movie had been yanked after the theater chains said they wouldn't show it. sony now says the independent theaters around the country will. anyway, seth seth rogen
tweeted "the people have spoken and freedom has prevailed and sony didn't give up. it will be shown at theaters willing it play it on x-mas? what is that? xmas day 1234 it is christmas for god sake. james franco called him james flacco. exclamation point, exclamation point, sorry, exclamation point, exclamation point. finally the president himself plotted the decision. the white house issued a statement and it goes like this. we are a country that believes in free speech and the right of artistic expression. the decision made by sony and participating theaters allows people to make their own choices about the film. the movie will be released on v-o-d or vod. here is one viewer enjoying it
at home. >> you are entering into the most dangerous country on earth. please remember kim gung u.n. -- kim jong-un is a master manipulator. >> i have a gift are to you. >> this dog is killing me with his cuteness. >> he is crazy cute. >> wow, that was useless. sam, people -- a lot of people are saying, oh, you know what, i am going see the movie. they are not, are they? >> i am one of those people, and i am not going to see it. i am going to see it despite them. probably not. it is ridiculous, and now you are thinking james franco and seth rogen may be in the history books. my grandkids will be like the dudes from pine pineapple express. i guess it is kind of cool. >> it is cool except it is james franco. the problem with james franco is he is too james franco. he is always trying to be james franco all the time. i will be in college and i
will lecture. >> he is now a verb actually. that's so james frank -- franco. >> kim jong-il was killed in "team america" and it was to the this big of a thing. >> hacking wasn't big. >> they had hacky sack, but not a hack. >> a little word play there. >> is this the right move by sony? >> i don't think so. i think sony is making a really big, really dangerous mistake by releasing this movie. who knows if north korea or who ever had any intentions of creating this 9/11-style terror attack, but we live in an age of the copycat. and this just could create -- this invites a copycat or a lone wolf to do something stupid, and then god forbid something happens. then we look around at each other and say why didn't we take this more seriously, all for the release of a stupid movie. >> it is important though to release a stupid movie -- >> because we can? >> yes.
if you apply the logic of fear to anything, somebody could say, you know what, if you go on "red eye" i am going to blow -- don't do another show or we will blow it up, then we don't do another show. you can apply the threat to everything. by the way, andy, you have cats. do you buy the copycat theory? >> man that was a reach. >> i was going try to find something about copycats and lone wolves because they are animal related. since you did wear the sweater three days ago -- >> it was fine. >> it is an awesome sweater. off air you compliment my clothes and then the minute the light goes on it is like, oh, what an ugly sweater. >> auditioning 4thof july "the born identity." >> i think releasing this movie is disrespectful to the feelings of kim -- kim jong-un and i believe it is racist and i call on sony to -- >> to do something? >> to not release it after
saying they will release it after saying they are not going to release it. i take what you say about the copycat thing, but i think the original threat was always nothing but bluster. it is easy for me to say that. i don't own a movie theater and i don't blame the movie theater. >> i do own a movie theater. >> i think it is great that alamo draft house is going to show it. i am happy that i can now not see it by choice. i think that is really what this was all about. >> it is, it is. it is having the ability to avoid a bad film. joe, does this change your christmas plans? will you still spend the day getting drunk and crying? >> i can do that at the movies and in the dark. >> no one can see me. i think it is so funny that sony's ceo says they never gave up on releasing "the interview." it is like a boyfriend saying, oh i didn't say the relationship was doomed or that we needed to break up. i gave you the option. do you want to end it, or do
you not? the fact that sony told these theaters you have the option of showing it or not showing it, they thought they had an out. well, of course we don't want to be held liable. it is just nuts to me that they said we never gave up on it. we are releasing it. what do you mean? it was never not going to be shown. >> what happened was they were cowards and they finally realized that they better do something or they will never live this down. and how can you make a hollywood movie out of this when hollywood is a coward? >> this is going to be a movie for sure. >> they had to have a happy ending. >> i hope it is a happy ending. >> if pee wee herman goes to see it, there will be a happy ending in the theater because he masturbated in one. christmas has come early for furious, but fruitless masturbators with the trailer for the "entourage" movie. the hbo series that ran for 8 -- eight miserable seasons will pick up where it left off in theaters next summer. why didn't kim jong-un go
after this? a two-minute preview was posted on-line. let's take a look. >> ♪ i throw my hands up in the air sometimes smote. ♪ gotta let go ♪ i wanna celebrate and live my life ♪ ♪ saying a-yo ♪ baby let's go sphoat. ♪ cuz we gonna rock this club ♪ ♪ gonna go all night ♪ we gonna light it up >> wow. jeremy piven looked trim there. can we see the actual trailer? >> i gave you $100 million and you are 15 million over. you agreed not to go over. >> you said i couldn't direct unless we agreed. >> if they ask if you want to bang the hot sister you both say ?o, but neither of you believes you mean it. >> what is he doing here? >> i am ready for trouble. ♪
>> girls out here are crazy. >> we know each oamplet remember me? >> didn't you used to be really fat? >> this movie is enormous. >> you can go down in flames. why did you stop taking the anger meds? >> i didn't think they were working. >> i am okay to continue. >> it is like guys pretending to be in a film. anyway, it is good to see haley joel osmond working again. he looks like a talking cantaloupe. "entourage" fans are pumped. pauly d tweeted, just saw the "entourage" movie trailer, so dope. >> i think it is so dope. >> let me finish for god's sake. obama said plus one, dog which is interesting.
carly, please don't tell me -- >> first of all -- >> what is wrong with you? first it is a sony film, and then "entourage? i'm sorry. >> i have nothing new to say. it looks like a good movie. >> have you ever watched "entourage"? >> yes. >> there is nothing good about it. >> hold on a second. "entourage" i will say they treat women horribly. >> who cares? it is a funny show. >> women have more opportunity in fallujah than "entourage." but i think the first two seasons were really good. i checked out when turtle started making it. once turtle started making million dollar deals and banging jaime lynn siegler, he was a loser. >> it is a excuse not to theng for two hours and watch something and enjoy it. >> that's why you watch the kardashians. >> and you know i watch that. >> you said two seasons. i think i know what you are
talking about. it was in an era where it was like 2000 -- it was fun, but then with unemployment and the recession and all of the [bleep] going on, you couldn't watch this -- you couldn't see this as as -- aspirational anymore because these guys are having a great time and watching your friends get the pink slip. and you are right. when turtle starts losing weight it is like get some other fat guy. joanne, you were like 10 when this came out. are you excited? i am sickened by it. >> i have never seen an episode. the trailer looked exciting. >> it is just the music. >> exactly. if you take the music out, it is the most boring -- it looks like when hannity did the spring break and that's what it looks like. you just say i feel hoping over watching this -- hung-over watching it. >> i love the climax was him
punching -- >> they spent 10 seconds on the scene. that is supposed to be one of the most exciting scenes. >> they announce each of the characters. >> because it has been awhile. >> this is not a 48-hour sequel. this is a sequel to a horrible show. how many times have you watched the trailer? >> 172? >> i have a bunch of comments on this. the biggest difference the dog video we showed, the biggest difference with jeremy piven is the dog hair was real. >> he has the worst toupe. jay i want to know if haley joel osmond is playing himself. i hope he is. >> he was holding a gun. >> that's wrong. that is stunt casting. >> i think it makes it -- it makes it worse. you are missing my point.
the first two seasons i agree were fun to watch. the first two seasons it was like they were making fun of l.a. culture and those people. after that they embrace that culture. >> they were like the new york guys that became the l.a. guys. >> it was just a bunch of guys acting like d-bags. this in general was a terrible day for hollywood. first "the interview" is being released and then this trailer comes tout and tim burton and helena split. i don't know who gets custody of the unkempt hair. i want hbo to do an "entourage" girls crossover. i tweeted at them and have yet to get a reply. that would be fantastic. >> my philosophy is "entourage" does for guys what girls does for girls. it makes them both look back. >> "6 and the city." >> well, "sex and the city" was great. >> "sex and the city" was enjoyable.
did you know i once bought a collection of "sex and the city" cd's. >> that was the first i masturbated to. i was at my parents and had no other options. >> which of the four? >> the guy that talked like this. miranda, i love you. >> i just realized how young you are. >> that's incredible. >> i would make another joke about that. you know what is the most telling part of the whole story? in 2012 president obama promised to make a cameo in the movie. what does that say? >> in "entourage"? >> yes. >> did he expect him to keep the promise? >> would you be shocked if he didn't secretly film that? >> he will. that's what he loves to be in front of the cultural -- >> that's the point. we are told over and over again that the president is cool. "entourage" its sell by date is over. it is not cool anymore.
it is as cool as scrilicks will be cool. it is that same world of cool. fatboy slim. it is the fatboy slim of -- >> fatboy slim is coming back. >> i bet this is going to be a huge box office hit in the summer. >> it will be a disaster. >> because the guys in their 20s that watched entourage will now be in their 30s and they will be like fat and miserable. >> sam, are you going to see it? >> here is the thing. haley joel osmond, i am just fascinated. >> he is probably in one scene. >> his track record is "forest gump,"" the 6th sense" and a spielberg movie. you are waiting until "entourage"? that's weird. >> he is like gary busey without the head injury. he doesn't have the excuse of the head injury. >> hayley, we are sorry. you are a great actor.
>> i played beer pong with him once. he was very nice. not good, but nice. >> he did not hit on you? >> no. he was dating one of my friends at the time. >> really? >> guys, my stories are real. i actually know sort of famous people. >> is know the appropriate word and did you know them by the hour? >> what? >> i don't know what that meant either. i have to go. the other thing is jeremy piven, i hate the fact that he plays -- he is supposed to be a jerk in the office, but a faithful husband, like he loves his wife. >> in the pilot he says he cheated on her too. in the pilot he is like, do you see the swimsuit model, i banged her. so it is either a lie or they messed it up. >> it is like an entourage truther. >> he was great in "point blank." >> that was with john cusak? >> yes. >> harmless creatures that are
>> this is definitely before the holiday show. >> i guess what bothers me is i find it arousing and alarming because you look at the technology and that stuff should be used for amputees. i believe it is a real person. >> how badly do you not want to get to know a woman? >> are you asking me? >> well, you know, i mean, it has like the face that is all creepy. >> why that face? >> that's like a lizard face and not like a housewives hot lizard, but a weird lizard. >> like she was in the tanning bed too long. >> i am not into strip clubs. i was just in reno and this guy was like go to the strip club and i say no those women are victims of sexual abuse, and it is too much money. that's a weird combo that i am not going to take advantage of a girl's messed up childhood,
not at those prices. >> at least you had a prioritized. you had the abuse before the payment. if you said it is too expensive -- >> not all strippers. >> joanne, are you worried -- i guess they are women, artificial maybe, may replace you in the future. >> i think they will replace all jobs, and it will just be female robots. we thought the stripper was the one job that would be safe, but it is not. however, if we are gonna do this, we need to do this right. we need to represent real women. i didn't see cell -- cell you loit or stretchmarks. if barbie can't have her day, she can't either. >> are you the one with "sex and the city" you never took a barbie? >> you know. kim catrell looked good for 45. >> now she is 80.
should we be focusing on making robots that help us? not simply at this titilate us or please us. >> how does the art go? this guy is an artist. it seemed more like science. the finger technology is incredible. >> it is like a bad dream. >> it is a great dream. >> i have to say my favorite movie is west world. i have been waiting -- i wanted to live in the period where west world came true. the idea of going to a saloon and all of these hot saloon ladies as you call them and then i like to hang out with dick van patton, a former "red eye" guest. is he alive? >> i think, but if not rip. >> we talked at great length about west world. andy, your eyes are as dead as hers. >> this could be a woman that you could finally achieve some sort of -- >> it is interesting you bring
up the eyes. through facial recognition it violates two rules. >> first no eye contact. and second of all no facial recognition. i watt not there. don't recognize me. i don't like this at all. this is not what men need. >> no, it is not. >> i am not so sure. >> we need somebody whose memory can be wiped as soon as it is over. >> for the sake of the stripper. i have no idea what my life is like. actually salute america's strippers. they are doing yo men's work. that's what you call it. will there be a glass ceiling for female robots? what if they find out male pro boughts are better than female robots. >> with the technology they are strong enough. they can smash through the ceiling. >> i don't know. i still think it is a hoax.
>> it is art. it is not meant to -- >> the hand movement is too real. >> and it has a male -- the voice of the robot is a man. >> it is the create -- it is the artist's voice. >> i don't know why. >> it is more of a turn on. >> tell me about it. >> is it sam or joanne talking? >> it can be a little game show. >> cover your mouth. >> say something. >> this is joanne speaking. >> you know we are not on a break right now, right? >> what happened? >> i don't know how i committed to that. >> you are a good team player. >> i am a team player. >> coming up, wow, what a story. buzz aldrin is looking for a woman to get his space rocks off.
the thoughts of parents are now apparent. glamour magazine, where i get my stock tips revealing what mom and dad were thinking when you bring in a new man for the holidays. not me, but if you did. >> mom, this is me. >> nice to meet you. come in, come in. >> so you must be nathan. i heard great things about you. we are so happy to finally meet you. >> thanks for having me. i brought lime. >> how nice. >> sub titles are the subtext. genius. more please. >> would you like more potatoes ? >> no thank you. >> are you sure? >> yeah, i have had plenty of potatoes today. >> come on. just a little.
>> he does president want any -- he doesn't want anymore potatoes. >> where do they come up with this stuff? >> we have had a long day and we should get some rest. >> we are going to play scrabble. >> they are like mind readers. have you ever been allowed to meet your girlfriend's parents? or when you killed the girlfriend you never see the parents again. >> too much pressure. this is awkward. i feel bad for the parents. i am a comic. no parent wants their daughter dating a comic, a nightclub act. and we -- why don't we live in this post racial society. >> they purposely did not do that. >> if it was my daughter i would say he probably has a bigger [bleep] than me. every time we spoke it would be penis, penis, penis.
>> they would be okay with dating you after you get really famous. oh my god he is on tv every night. but when you are working your way up, can't you do any better than that? that's going to be your life. carly, have you ever had issues with your parents? >> i really only brought one guy home for the holidays. >> i hope it is your fiancee. >> it is. i never understood this concern about bringing a guy home for the holidays. i think it is a really good time because there is a lot of family around and there is a lot of descripging. there is a lot of drinking. >> so he is not a hit with grandma, so maybe he is a hit with the opt. >> he bangs the uncle and you are totally screwed. >> how did you know? >> congratulations fnlt.
you have your hands full. >> was this video accurate? i know you wouldn't know. >> i never brought a new boyfriend home. this is like one of the e-mails that an older relative forwards to you. not the racist ones. first of all you have to scroll past. and then it is a really long joke with tons of set up and then you get to the end and you say i guess that was cute. >> that's so true. >> i don't know. what is the anti-uncle stuff we keep hearing? >> where? >> you guys were with the uncle that -- it is always like -- oh what to say to your racist uncle. >> drunk uncle. >> you know what it is? you avoid insulting somebody's parents. >> i am an uncle. i am an uncle three times over. i am not a good person. should the new boy ends from
and girlfriends be invited to the holiday parties? it doesn't seem to be a win-win for anyone. >> you want the holiday to be awkward. >> the best are the ones w filt. my mom says whatever is on her mind. yeah, it stinks at the moment. it can be mortar fying, but then it is out there. what this video is teaching us is everybody should say what they are thinking. >> it is not sam's mom. >> the best would be a robot stripper. >> no feelings from her. she doesn't give a damn. >> i don't even know what that means. i am bleeping that. >> i'm sorry. i took a chance. >> i can't believe you said that about eleanor roosevelt. she has been dead for 40
years. she walked on walked on the moon, but will women still swoon? buzz aldrin is looking for love. he divorced his wife and started dating a woman 30 years his junior and she was still too old for him. he is still looking for his next mrs. in an interview for gq that stands for great quads he said i am on the scout for a cute looking lady. when i say i am on the scout -- never mind. he also knocked the president's home of landing a man on an asteroid. he said that's not going to the moon. that's not going to mars. that's playing around with a mickey mouse rock. we have to get rid of that. i am a creator of a new way to get to mars. he is full of vinegar and something. joanne, you are eligible. would you date buzz? >> i did what i do with all famous people that i know are single. i google them.
i realized it wouldn't work out. he hasn't had a drink in 36 years. while i applaud him for that and that is wonderful, it wouldn't work. >> if you dated when you showed up i could say this is buzz and buzzed. >> hey. like sonny and cher. >> sonny and sonny. >> spelled two ways. >> yes, i don't know. carly, if you weren't engaged to be married, would you date him? >> i don't know. maybe. he is a great american hero. >> let's be honest here. you would sleep with him. you would sleep with him because then you could tell people that you slept with a man who was on the moon. i would do it. i would do it. i would do it because i want to tell people that, yeah, you know, buzz aldrin, -- technically i was on the
moon. >> he was on the moon more to the point. >> nothing like that, andy. it would be cuddling. >> this is fake. this interview was as real as the moon landing. he lied about going to the moon and now he is lying about this. he is probably gay. >> andy! >> andy! >> not that there is anything wrong with us. >> he lied. he perpetrated a fraud since 1969 and i say it is time it stopped. >> it is a great american hero. >> we need to give him a reality show. >> that's a genius. >> favor of buzz. >> i think there should be women lining up-to-date him. he is a marvelous man. >> he has aged well. i will say that. >> all astronauts age well. why is that? >> it is unfair.
men age so much better than women. he is 84 years old and he has this lieu tenant bill cow wean wean -- cowen sexiness. if a woman was 84 years old trying to find a husband for the first time, good luck. >> are you not supposed to compare the famous person more to the person to her left. >> lauren hutton, how old is she? >> 74. >> i don't know. >> you don't know lauren hutton? >> no. >> what about the other lady, jane see more. >> yes, she is in her 60. >> you were thinking helen mere ran. >> i like gain seymore. and then lauren hutton. >> jacqueline bissette. >> yes. 60 plea by the way.
sophia lauren. >> i would smash. >> i want him to know i was joking. >> he punched a man in the case. >> and i want you to kill him. matthew mcconaghey. yeah, he is on the show. no, actually he is -- we are talking to him. "not cool" order it. you will get it -- if you order it now you will get it by christmas day 2015.
he went from barely living to jk living. a british man awoke from a coma from a car crash think heying was matthew mcconaghey. when i looked in the mirror i was shocked because i didn't look like i'm h. i didn't know what i was looking at. i was thinking i can't wait to get out of here and back to filming movies. i don't care if the story is fake. it is awesome. are you buying this? >> sure. i have heard of things like this before where you have a traumatic head injury and then become like a mathematician. it makes me want to bang my head on something. you have to do it exactly right. that's the problem.
>> what about you good man sam? >> did you think you were sam morrell and then you were somebody else? >> it is an inception-like dream. it happened to my grandpa, actually. he came out of a coma thinking he was stanley toochi. you know what this will do? it will make dumb kids who have a final coming up, they will hit him in the head with a pipe and then they say damn it, i still don't know spanish. >> that's like giving your brain a kickstart. >> i am going to hit myself really hard. >> joanne, why matthew mcconaghey? >> it is all about the person. i feel like i am more about a joe pesci. i would wake up and i would be like joe pesci. >> what happened to him? >> he was that true
detective. what about matthew mike? imagine if instead of the spanish speaking, i don't know, confused person he was, he just started taking off his clothes. >> that's true. that would be offensive to a lot of people. >> to some. >> to some palm that's true. -- >> to some people that's true. >> he is the greatest actor of this generation. >> it may be him. >> it might be him. >> it is one thing to know he is not matthew mcconaghey. mostly you can deal with it. thinking you are matthew mcconaghey, that has to be devastating. >> unless there is somebody better. >> this guy has probably already left his wife. he is like, get out of here. >> how did i get married to you? i am matthew mcconaghey. where is eva mendes.
>> that's ryan ryan gosling. >> they are splitsville. >> we don't know that. >> we do. >> the doctor said he is going to be all right, all right, all right. >> that's good. >> i do a good impression of matthew mcconaghey. keep on livin. >> you are just jealous. you are jealous. >> way better than what you could do, andy. >> i purposely didn't do one. >> the best thing you can do is just do it like a cocaine and masturbate. cocaine and you masturbate. >> coming up! >> that's from ""the wolf of wall street"." i am going to make one point before we go. he may not be suffering from brain damage. he might have entered matthew mcconaghey's consciousness. we have no proof that ourselves are our own. we think ourselves are independent, but it could be it is a giant consciousness and we are a part of it and he may have moved -- he may have moved into his consciousness
the fastest printer. the fastest lunch. turkey club. the fastest pencil sharpener. the fastest elevator. the fastest speed dial. the fastest office plant. so why wouldn't i choose the fastest wifi? i would. switch to comcast business and get the fastest wifi with the most coverage. comcast business. built for business. today on "outnumbered" at noon eastern. they must be desperate. on new year's eve, don't forget to watch a special "red eye" it is called 2014 goodbye bad year. itit is right after the fox newschannel's all-american new year in which joanne is going to be on live from time square. she is moving up and out. >> e block. last story. that's the last story.
>> cops got wise to a panda disguise. they trick children into thinking painted dogs were pandas. this is brilliant. look at that. they painted who dash -- two chow chows black and white. they shut it down and then seized the dogs who were later killed. meanwhile andy levey has opened a lion exhibit in his apartment. sorry, andy. carly, that they have seized them? they were adorable. >> they shouldn't have taken the dogs. >> what are they going to do with them? put them in dog prison? did they charge the dog with the crime? impersonating a panda. >> i don't think the circus
should have lied. it is more impressive to say this is a dog that looks like a panda. >> it is a danda. it is a dog that had sex with a panda and this is a danda or a pog. >> oh that's better. >> it is a poking, sam. a pog, sam. i invented a word. >> a brilliant trick. >> they say he is facing charges over false passports. i didn't know they had passports. it is way more complicated. >> and they say they were six months younger than the documents stated. what kind of tect -- detective is doing this work? >> i am not like i will get to the bottom of that. >> that is cute. >> animals don't care about how hold they are, right? >> you don't know that. >> i do. >> then, yeah. >> would you have will faen for this? >> i would have fallen for this.
i have never seen a panda in real life. i have only seen pictures. i don't want to be the person who goes that's not a panda, but it really is. >> the circuses are weird. usually you have the animals do something. jump through a hoop or hit on it for a ride. i have done that a few times. >> this is more of a zoo. it is a glorified zoo. >> it is a zoo of impersonations. it is a fake zoo. all of the animals are played by some other dog or cat, andy. there are always problems with circuses. that's why you ran away from them. you ran away from the circus. >> between the nightmarish clowns and the dangerous lions, i don't know why anyone would go within five miles of a circus except maybe for the giant mounds of elephant poo. >> i will frolic in them. >> they discovered these
pandas were dogs because they saw them actually enjoying having sex. they knew right away they were not pandas. >> i was doing research. the one thing you don't have to fake at an italian circus are the bearded ladies. >> apologize to italy and the italians. >> italians here feel me. >> that's a stereo type from old italian joke books. >> that's where i got it from. >> you are pathetic. where are you performing on new year's eve? >> crackers downtown indianapolis. >> crackers ? >> crackers. >> that's a progressive title. >> i will be telling my older jokes. >> i hope there are no protests down there. crackers. my goodness. i will be somewhere. not there. i don't know where i will be. have a happy, happy new year. >> you too. >> special thanks to carly and tv's andy levey and joanne nosuchunsky and sam morrell.
so watch me tonight, fox business, 6:00 p.m. hello, everyone i'm greg, along with kimberly, dana and bob. this is "the five." an ap poll of the u.s. press after their top story of the year, they chose police killings of blacks, not ebola, not isis, not a missing airplane and it's 227 people, the police killings of blacks. i call that bad timing, but it's also the media completing their self-fulfilling premise, this is how it works. you take something awful and claim it reflects an epidemic, when the facts