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tv   The Greg Gutfeld Show  FOX News  June 16, 2018 10:00pm-11:00pm PDT

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finally, tonight i want to wish all the wonderful dads out there a very happy father's day. thank you for watching. i'm at jeanine pirro, advocating for truth, justice and the american way. the greg gutfeld show is coming up. i will see you next saturday night. >> when i worked with the president obama and i did on occasion i was a hero and now when i work with president trump i'm two-faced. i know how the game is played and i don't give a damn. i want to do what is best for the country. how like the president i want to help him and i hope he is successful. he's been a friend to me and he says something i don't agree with. if you don't like me work with president trump to make the world a better place, i don't give a [bleep] [laughter] greg: i second that [bleep] [laughter] two. [laughter]
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it was the movie it made for him, a film to capture him. a face melting sales tool for freedom which mr. trump played with the new ultra north korean leader. >> destiny pictures that's a story of opportunity, a new story, a new beginning. two men, two leaders, one destiny. a story about a special moment in time when a man is presented with one chance that may never be refuted. will he choose? to show vision and leadership or not. a new world to begin today. one of friendship, respect and goodwill. be a part of that world where the doors of opportunity are ready to be opened. greg: where do i sign up? here is the question -- why?
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who would do this it's crazy. it's not. the film shows the tyrant what could be if he stopped being a [bleep]. >> it was a child's presentation to another child to convince him to come to the party. >> there were reporters in the room who thought it might be something with the north korean have put together. >> it was strange and i think the power of propaganda video like that is extremely overrat overrated. greg: what idiots. look, if you live in america with an iphone, ipad, that video wasn't for you. it was for the north koreans. do you jackasses look at a after baby food and say that commercial is so stupid i'm not a baby? what is this bus stop doing for my house? i don't need a bus, i live here. let me say this slowly.
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the video is not for you. it's an intervention made to persuade to show other options besides annihilation. isn't that why you showed it me, donald? that is the future. >> i showed it to you because that is a future. that could very well be the future and the other alternative is not a good alternative. greg: yeah, it's not very good. it is this or die. that's not th appeasement but salesmanship. that is trumps tool and he gets you into the car. once the dealer gets you to testdrive the court that you have two options. not in the corvette, in the corvette. a life of shiny fun versus a previous that stinks up taco bell wrappers. [laughter]
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that video let kim testdrive prosperity. it may fail but critics, what you have beside mockery? you are mad because trump did it first. he began with the threat of nukes, added sanctions and then the persuasion. he swung the stick and then gave the carrot. it is so odd. wasn't the left a piece of party in the right were supposed to be the war pigs. obama was supposed to bring world peace, not trump. my god, now we have an orange gandhi. [laughter] no wonder the left is a mess. trump stole the liberal playbook and beat him over the head with it. you would think the left would embraces but not trump is behind it. then they tell all of us to be skeptical. the left is the least skeptical bunch on earth. these are the same piece blindly embrace bogus climate statistics, gun-control lies, new age medicine, diets and any postmodern drip about race or gender and the same people who demand skepticism would applaud a six-year-old man to self identify as a hairless cat.
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that was a shout out to brian stelter. [applause] a cheap shot. for those of you who still say the summit gave kim a photo op, this is north korea. if you want a follow-up, he can create one. you think he doesn't have photoshop back in his castle? if the summit is a confession then your solution ultimately is war because that is all you have without dialogue. i am beginning to sound like a liberal. [laughter] here is trump on his message. >> he spoken so passionately about the circumstances that led to the death of auto warm fire. how can you do that? >> i don't want to see a nuclear weapon destroy you and your family. >> by the way -- >> i don't want to see a nuclear weapon destroy you and your
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family. i want to have a good relationship with north korea. i want to have a good relationship with many other countries and what i have done, if you remember and if you are fair, which most of you are, when i came in people thought we were probably going to war with north korea and if we did -- quiet. quiet. quiet. greg: i love it when you shush is them. the hand gesture -- their kids at the ice cream truck and he's the good humor man. shut up and i will get you next. they don't listen to his answers. he's my second favorite part. >> go ahead. >> what did you mean just now when you said [inaudible]? >> i'm kidding, you don't understand sarcasm. who are you with? >> cnn. >> you are the worst. [cheering and applause] greg: it never gets old. he is preventing war and they are chasing joe. the media could be wrong but and maybe this whole thing is about
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something else. >> north korea, what is the third country with which north korea has a border? north korea has a tiny little border with a third country. if you take that bridge and they let you cross the border where you end up is russia. greg: russia. that is the ticket. that is always the ticket. not averting nuclear war. crazy. anyway, i'm optimistic and here's why. compare our team, pompeo, bolton, trump to the previous squad. hillary, ben rhodes, carrie. our team is the three musketeers and theirs is the three stooges. [applause] democrats could do better with the quarters of the view. there combination of weak handshakes and bad things. the stink of scented candles in failure. ben rhodes is like someone glued 100 beanie babies together. hillary cannot blow her nose without a consultant.
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[laughter] john kerry is so wooden that termites consider him an all-you-can-eat buffet. i am relieved. peace is more attractive than more. yet some of the left would feel worse if there was a drug. >> first, tonight headline, president trump says there is no longer a nuclear threat from north korea. >> i miss the fear. >> what now? >> the fear of imminent nuclear war. do you remember when everyone was telling us our lives were in danger? it gave me a rush. >> that is pretty [bleep] upped, dude. >> are you bummed that you can't be afraid anymore? >> i think i was feeding of the paranoia. >> you need catastrophic. >> will make america afraid again? >> no, just you, sourpuss. it's a stimulant that reactivates your brain fear receptors giving you that hysteria you crave. use it on the go.
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>> i don't feel it working yet. >> hello, tom. >> why did you do that? >> no, you are sneaking up on me. >> it's great to see you outside again. what? we are outside? that is where nuclear war happens. >> catastrophic minor be for everyone but be sure to consult your doctor. >> have you seen tom? >> he is taking shelter again. >> tom? are you all right in there? >> it's not going to be okay. it's not going to be okay. >> the brill is back with catastrophic. [cheering and applause] greg: let's welcome tonight's guests. he is so sharp he could use his pot to carve a pumpkin. walter kern. [cheering and applause]
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she is so bright glow worms find her intimidating. her new book is called # do not disturb, order it now. jedediah. [cheering and applause] she is [inaudible] national review reporter, captains. >> my massive sidekick, tyrus. [cheering and applause] walter, this video has never been done before and no one has done a failed video or a marketing tool for freedom and it is hilarious to me. it's wonderful at the same time -- >> it seems like it was produced by scientologists. [laughter] what it really was an advertisement for what it would be like to have electricity. i noticed there were a lot of
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subliminal messages that cut in weird images. i think it was ultimately a mind control tool that we probably don't have the key to. greg: after watching it i wanted to go to north korea. >> exactly. greg: i wanted to ride a horse across the ocean. did you see that horse going across the ocean? it may no sense. jedediah, i think this approach is innovative but typical. >> it's true because he put all the stuff in there that kim jong-un likes like basketball and he basically character studied him and he's a guy who loved american pop culture and figured out all the things that he liked and said let me put this in here to convince him to be a better man. the only issue i have is the fear that in any way it was elevating him. this is a guy who is a mass murderer. he has prison camps in north korea and gross violations of human rights so you don't want him elevated or to be on par with american president but with that being said i think that it
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was very, i don't know, maybe trump could get himself in advertising if president doesn't work out. greg: which rob is doing is looking at the sky as a hostage taker in order to get the hostage taker to release the hostages you use everything you have persuasively to get him to put down the gun and i think what we're seeing is a long process of getting this guy to put down the gun. what you think, cat? kat: i watch this video without even looking at my phone one time. that hasn't happened since 2008 i think it was an interesting video with a bizarre video. i don't like how many people are rooting against president trump been able to accomplish working things out with north korea because then it would have to be wrong. things are working out with north korea means war a lot of dead people. i don't like to be wrong but if
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maybe right means a lot of people are going to die i actually would air on the side of allowing people to live. greg: nice of you. kat: apparently that is a rare thing. greg: especially in the media i think. tyrus, depictions on this? tyrus: i like the best. and that was great. i would pay money to see -- no, i'm just saying that i'm glad brothers were getting more work. we are everywhere. i'm on fox news, were in north korea. it's great. [laughter] i looked at it a different way. if you show that video to his country and then kim does not come through. he will have a problem. greg: that's true. tyrus: they've done a very good job of keeping them sheltered and sealed in the original version of the video they showed america we were eating their children. greg: that's true. tyrus.tyrus: now they are like y ride their horses in america? [laughter]
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>> exactly. tyrus: the only thing that was missing was a vegas shot or a couple mcdonald's but he is showing them the light. >> what is funny is democrats get applauded for the stuff a the time. when they do stuff that the member when president obama was running and the stage look like it was a scene from a movie and it was built up they get applauded for aligning themselves with what hollywood but when trump does something that's outside the box to convince a tyrant to maybe find a better way he gets demonized for it. you have to pick one for either it's a good idea or you have to be picking on both individuals were doing it. the selective outrage is humorous to me. greg: walter, do you think that he's being too deferential or is this an obvious that we all know what he's doing? >> he's got such a big ego everyone prints it. he gave the spotlight to kim. greg: true. with that said, scott says he
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used his ego as a thermostat that he turns up and down. he lets people take control and then comes back and it's an interesting element. cautiously optimistic and i'm also very handsome. [laughter] thank you. up next, the democrats turned to hollywood to help them when the midterms in 2020. in other news, they are screwed. [cheering and it's just a burst pipe, i could fix it. (laugh) no. with claim rateguard your rates won't go up just beacuase of a claim. i totally could've... (wife) nope! switching to allstate is worth it. same thing with any dent or dings on this truck.
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greg: will the democrats get far by counting on star? politico claims the hollywood actor is helping with midterms in the 2020 campaign. in other words, they are reelecting trump. [laughter] apparently these spoiled detached, angry left-wingers will help the democrats increase voter registration and help shape the message for the party. as one producer puts it, when donald trump is able to say make
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america great again and no one can tell you what the dnc slogan is -- that's a marketing problem. good point. democrats don't have a slogan. here are the people to give them one. >> i have thought an awful lot about blowing up the white house. >> when was last time an actor assassinated a president? >> i will say one thing. trump. [applause] greg: it's like he had his first solid stool in the six weeks. [laughter] i get excited over it. now you should definitely listen to that buzz, dnc. i can see the democratic convention now -- >> wow. jedediah, let's pretend we never celebrate hollywood did a lot for hillary.
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>> i love the story because it's the democrats are so desperate they don't understand their own message but their policies stink so there like let's go to hollywood and figure out how they can make us sound better than we actually are. they should be humiliated to do this. it's so funny that they exist in such a bubble they don't realize that the more they do this work shows the more they try to craft a message and the more they get on tv tv and katie perry poussin tv show the more of the country says i'm not voting for that person. if they would just shut up there person might get elected. greg: it's like enlisting hollywood to help with their political campaign is hiring a screaming homeless man to do your taxes. >> yes. greg: which i did once, by the way. kat: i don't understand this at all. if you failed a test and then you ask your teacher if you could retake it and the teacher said okay and then what you did was do all the exact same answers as when you failed it
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the first time. they are using the exact same playbook is the used in 2016 between not having a message other than trump is bad in our line on celebrities to get them out of it. every celebrity and the mother was bending over backwards to try to elect hillary clinton. greg: and forwards. kat: and all over the place and sideways and they did not give a doggone hack. greg: strong words from kat timpf. greg: we will have to believe that. a lot of tv lingo, tyrus. are we hypocrites because i'm on the right i would not mind having a few celebrities like m- [laughter] to express conservative opinion. tyrus: i can see hollywood helping you. you put the all in a small. greg: okay. tyrus: you had it coming. one day -- i'm going to introduce you and you are going to cry. [laughter] here's the thing.
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hillary was a bad candidate which means if jesus christ came down and said vote for hillary, everyone would be like this is interesting and i never thought of it. she was a bad candidate. if your candidate is rock 'n roll and he's got charisma and all that stuff and the celebrities as i like this guy that works but when your candidate is paint peeling or wallpaper it doesn't matter who says it's great, it is still wallpaper. it is out of style and no one wanted and no one will put it in the house. greg: and it is feeling. tyrus: you can of all the writers in the world but if your candidate doesn't have anything and if the not being true to their stage because what democrats and what i feel like there should be allegations, the new guilty. they need to -- all they do is tell on each other and try to bring pc and keep you quiet. they need to do things like what they are known for. greg: that is very good. what do you think, walter? i imagine alyssa milano is helping out.
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>> this is the problem. first they go to actors. actors don't have thoughts. tyrus: hello. >> actors need writers. there like shoes without a foot in them. tyrus: again. first, it was wrestling now it's acting and do i owe you money? kat:tyrus: i'm telling you your business, man. secondly, actors don't have writers they do what dinero did. they swear and then they swear again but he did it twice and it wasn't even spontaneous. they're going to the wrong people and number two, they're not being fair. republicans turned to hollywood, too. i was at the republican convention and they had the guy from duck dynasty and scott bail. [laughter] and they wan one. [cheering and applause] greg: i will never get over
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dinero doing this. it really is like, you know, he got the last container of jell-o at the supermarket. [laughter] and he can't wait to get home to put cool about it. i'm getting breaking news here that we have a crazed bicyclist on the loose summer i believe in asia. do we have tape of that? ♪. greg: i don't know why but i loved that. all right -- first, he was crazy then he was hitler and now the media has calling donald trump a there are multiples on the table: one is cash, three are fha, one is va. so what can you do? she's saying a whole lotta people want to buy this house. but you got this!
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17 people killed in venezuela when a tear gas cannister caused a stampede for the exit. witnesses say the tear gas was launched from inside a bathroom. two teens are suspected of being responsible for setting off the tear gas. i'm robert gray. the greg gutfeld show. greg: finally, a democrat admits that trump's diplomacy might be working. >> the summit was much more show than substance but the texans call all cattle, no hat. [laughter] all cattle and no hat. trump is all substance -- how nice of mr. schumer. [applause]
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of course, chuck got it wrong and he made the opposite but i can't blame him because he's all here plug and no cattle. [laughter] trumps critics always phone to gibberish in their new smear now is it's a cult. >> it has devolved into a cult. the republican party has devolved into a trump cult. >> these guys are in a cult and drink the cool eyed, i don't know. >> it's becoming a cult. >> that is hard news for the republicans that you are in a cult. greg: they all sound the same as if they are in a cult. [laughter] a profitable one. the more they back trump the higher in the ratings. the trump bump is pain for their botox. it exposes the lies that there is a press crackdown under trump industry has never been more vocal in opposition in the previous eight years with the media under obama -- talk about
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a cult. they were obama toast. you can hate trump, love trump and i don't really even care but targeting people -- their all hat and no cattle but they're all hat and no jackass. to be fair, tyrus, everybody thanks someone else is in a culprit if you don't like them or like their beliefs you say they are in a cult. tyrus: cult is the new code word for jackass. or i don't like you. it's the new thing. my problem is he screwed up the saying but did try to fix it and that is -- he did not know but his assistant new and his assistant let it go but you might want to holler at the guy because get a good look -- you could stick your head up a cows ass -- where is the guy that wrote this? they don't have anything in
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their running out of stuff. now they are possessed of the devil. and you can't argue that. greg: is a call that bad, cat question. kat: not to the people in it. i do seem like i would be the type but -- i have managed to steer clear of -- it would not feel good to belong, you know, but i have not gone that far yet. it's always great to see someone try to insult someone and they do it wrong. greg: it's fantastic. kat: it's like if you try to punch someone in the face any miss and you hit the wall and you break your hand that is exactly what he did there. i don't understand -- i get he was trying to be relatable but the internet makes it super easy to be relatable. if you are not sure you google it. there is no way it's not like we rely on oral histories to know
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what people in the other parts of the country are doing. you can google it. it's so easy. greg: he probably calls it the google. [laughter] where is the google? i left it somewhere on my phone. walter, the google. >> they don't hire writers and that's the big problem with hollywood politics and everything else. >> i think any politician that has a populist field whether trump or obama or whoever it is sarah palin, for example, all these people have that populist feel and when that happens you do have a segment of the population that can feel a little cultish. they follow you no matter what and look up to you and become a personality rather than a politician or some, nation. all of those people also take a ton of heat. trump takes heat from the media every day. sarah palin, same thing.
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yeah, there is a cultish segment of the population but so what? to say that trump has cultish followers and obama did not, every person on that panel was cultish for obama. come on question is. tyrus: what are the people doing that -- was there a bunch of trump guys with red ties running around the north korean summit? what is the cult doing other than the president is doing his job but i don't see -- [inaudible conversations] greg: are you saying -- if i started cult and i have been singing about it but i haven't been out if i want to be god or some weird profit. >> is it like a robot cult? greg: up next, tom brady want you to stop using plastic straws. i wonder who told him to say that. that. [cheering and woman: it felt great not having hepatitis c. it's like a load off my shoulders. i was just excited for it to be over.
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greg: if you outlaw straws, then only outlaws will have straws. after going after plastic bags, they now want to ban plastic drinking straws because they may and see life. new york, california and the uk are considering it as well as company like ikea and. if that does not persuade you, here is a quarterback. >> there's an easy step that everyone of us can take to tackle this big issue right away. no more single-use plastic straws. the effect of these are posing a huge house risk to our planet. one of the solutions we are proposing is very simple. next time you see a plastic straws like this, just say, no. we are not falling for your reuse, straw. [laughter] greg: and i thought straws were great for deflating footballs. [cheering and applause] greg: in california, straws are
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only 4% of the beach litter and that's far behind kathy griffin's [inaudible]. according to research, the top three plastic ways producers are china, indonesia and the philippines. we are 20th. but the facts are coming for your straws. and they will do it by any means necessary. [applause] greg: that is persuasive. kat, as a libertarian do you like being told how to ingest your beverages? kat: know. i do not. to think of all the causes there are out there in the world and all the suffering and the need and the terrible things you are going to use your platform to be
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an anti- straw advocate? i can't imagine. i also don't want to imagine a world without straws. i love straws. could you imagine ordering a smoothie and having to smash it into your face? instead of sipping it delightfully through a straw? that is not a world i want to live in. greg: walter, why do you think tom brady is doing this? >> i have no idea. [laughter] he is a mystery to me, frankly. first of all, that was the worst acting in the worst writing i have ever seen on a psa. it didn't make any sense. second of all, he is starting small. i think he will run for president. i think this is the first sign of tom brady's second act and it is very scary. greg: jedediah, do you know why he's doing this? >> i do not. i was going to tell you i use
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reusable dishwasher bpa straws and i was afraid you were going to yell. greg: i just might. you're not welcome here anymore. >> i do like straws and i think there is a difference. if you drink something and i was told by the doctor to drink water and i don't like to drink water. if you drink a water with a straw it goes down easier and the audience knows it is true. they are all nodding. straws are important. [applause] thank you. greg: here's the thing that boggles me, tyrus. tyrus: i'm sorry, something bothers you. greg: they pick straws so they can focus on the us because the real plastic problem is from other countries so now it is america and their straws not indonesia or china or the philippines but this is another thing to hang on us when it is not our fault. tyrus: clearly, he was at gunpoint by his wife. [laughter] number one, number two, tom brady is a saint. here's the thing -- strasse been
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around for a long time and i happen to know that there are biodegradable straws in most resorts in places where you buy the ocean use the paper straws. if you are into sugar and stuff they had the edible so -- >> edible straws? is. tyrus: oh my god, yes. there are other options. plastic in the ocean is a big deal. greg: but it is not our problem. tyrus: is a worthwhile cause. listen, if your wife was on you telling you you had to change the world and was yelling at you just like you wanted to go there so let's go there. greg: i'm agreeing with you. tyrus: are you processing and he is probably have straws in his hand and he says i'll get rid of these. great, here's my phone, do it. straws. they are polluting our water. if you -- the next time someone says don't use a straw state no. [laughter]
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this is tom brady. thank you. greg: i have a theory. tyrus, i thank you will agree with me. why is he doing this? because giselle's boyfriend before him was leo dicaprio and she's been trying to turn him into leo dicaprio since she met him. remember -- yes, yes -- the way she redid fashion wise and now she's trying to turn them into an environmental activist. tyrus: you are the only man that is married to her and he stands up to her because every guy in his audience can argue and say with his other half tells him to do something, he does not do it. greg.please, stand up. you bunch of cowards. everyone of you -- you would say hi, my name is darrell. greg: i have a message for tom brady. tom, this is heartbreaking. you and i are both kind of brothers. we went to the sierra high
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school and we are a few years apart but i think tom mckenzie, the football coach, because i remember him drinking from a straw on the field and i think he let every sierra pottery do down. that's a creepy thing to do. >> i'm creeped out about the leonardo di caprio thing. that may be the smart thing i've ever heard you say, ever. greg: on that note. i should quit while i am ahead. i will use every straw that you don't use, two times a straw. tyrus: you will drink wine out of a straw? i would like to see that. greg: tonight i will. well, i could use the straw with mine but not there. up next, domino's pizza is billing the nation's potholes. if only they were filling them with cheese. [cheering and applause] hey! we didn't have a hoowners claim last year
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so allstate is giving us money back on our bill. well, that seems fair. we didn't use it. wish we got money back on gym memberships. get money back hilarious. with claim-free rewards. switching to allstate is worth it.
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greg: domino's new goal, filling the potholes. the pizza companies topping is on the covers street potholes helping fix the patient's info structure.
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because they deliver the and running over a pot ruins the pizza, great idea. yes, good for the country. i hope so. pr stunt, absolutely. once they fill the pothole they branded with their logo but who cares? it works. at least they are not virtually singling so many social conscious companies like hotels tried to kill us into using the towels to save the earth. shut up. your saving money undetermined. dominoes is saving the earth literally it is the pavement. we don't have to see this. >> i do it for the kids. [laughter] greg: that was interesting. i hate companies that virtue signal, walter. i hate it. you know it's to protect
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themselves from a twitter mob so everything they do charity wise is about climate, gender and race and i like this. >> i love it too. i just wish they want the pizzas to get to my house in good shape so they fill the potholes but when the pizzas leave my house i want them to unclog the sewer drains. [laughter] greg: i don't even want to think about that. that is the straws come in. greg: i think it is a positive development that you are libertarian so our government can't deal with the infrastructure and companies -- remember country lemonade the stand and they're paying for the penalties and then you have dominoes -- this is a great trend. kat: people always say we need government to build the roles and it turns out we need more civic the minded pizza companies. i would not have guessed it. i would not have guessed it.
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this is great and i mean, i really have not thought about dominoes a lot lately or like ever. it crosses my mind very occasionally and i think that most people with relatively healthy brains probably the same but we are all thinking and talking about dominoes quite a bit and you can't drive to work out the dominoes this is a s move around. greg: could this be the first domino to fall? other companies, same thing? little caesars, i don't know. tyrus: and in the first someone will have a problem with this probably, me. so, your chubby self just can't wait for your free pizza so you complain about the potholes so you got to get your food faster. how about get off your butt and go get the pizza yourself. i feel like, you know, it is good but again, i would rather have potholes in my street littered with domino signs.
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it can say a lot about your neighborhood. if there are 35 domino potholes in your neighborhood and none of your kids play outside there's a good chance you got a chubby neighborhood. you might want to work on that. be careful what you wish for. [laughter] is like, poverty value goes down because high cholesterol and high blood pressure is in this particular neighborhood because there's a ton of domino spots. greg: what do you think, jedediah? >> i think it is so smart. they share the care about the pizza and the roads and dominoes is a topic and my husband is looking at me in the audience and he loves dominoes. i'm italian and i love local italian eateries so we -- i think other companies will see this and try to figure out what they can do to get this thing going on. greg: i agree. i want to use us as a contrast
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to the hotel tower scam. i'm mad about that. it's turning to help the planet so the instruct you to forgo the luxury of fresh towels that you paid for with your exorbitant daily fee so here's my challenge. a person jackson shode ae to have the option if you choose to reuse towels this take the savings off your rate -- right? [applause] but they won't because it's about saving money, not saving the planet. >> just can't you call the front desk and g
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are you done yet? does it look like i'm done? shouldn't you be at work? [ mockingly ] "shouldn't you be at work?" todd. hold on. [ engine revs ] arcade game: fist pump! your real bike's all fixed. man, you guys are good! well, we are the number-one motorcycle insurer in the country. -wait. you have a real motorcycle? and real insurance, with 24-hour customer support. arcade game: wipeout! oh! well... i retire as champion. game hog! champion.
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greg: if you have not ordered my book go to simon & schuster .com, barnes & noble, amazon and it is there. you will love it. we "watters world" starts right now. [♪] jesse: welcome to "watters world." i'm jesse watters. political parties usually root against each other. when one party fails, the other returns t power. but the democrats have invested so much in trump's failure they are rooting for america to fail. here is bill maher. >> i feel like the bottom has to fall out and i am hoping for it. one way you get rid of trump is a recession.


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