tv Tucker Carlson Tonight FOX News March 30, 2019 2:00am-3:00am PDT
that's all the time we have left. hope you have a great weekend. what a week this has been. we will never be the destroy trump, hate media mob. let not your heart be tomorrow. "the five" now. ♪ ♪ >> dana: hello, everyone i'm dana perino, along with kennedy, juan williams jesse waters and greg gutfeld. it's 5:00 in new york city. this is "the five." ♪ ♪ ♪ >> dana: fox news alert. attorney general william barr telling congress it will be -- he will send them the 400 page mueller report by mid april, if not sooner. barr saying that portions of the special counsel's findings they are going to have to be we americans with disabilities acted diewgd material subject to criminal procedures and intelligence community sources and methods. the attorney general adding that the white house will not be reviewing the report before it's sent to capitol hill. this is part is getting a lot of attention. barr saying some mischaracterizing his four page summary.
he says the summary was only about principle conclusions and nothing more. barr also said he is willing to testify before congress after the report is made public and he gave them a couple of dates for that president trump reacting to the news just moments ago. >> we'll have great confidence in the attorney general. and if that's what he would like to do, i have nothing to hide. this was a hoax. this was a witch-hunt. i have absolutely nothing to hide. and i think a lot of things are coming out with respect to the other side. but, i have a lot of confidence in the attorney general. >> dana: all right you,, jesse, this is getting a lot of attention this week we have been reporting that the justice department says it will be weeks, not months, that people will get to see this full report. enough to we know it's really just a couple of weeks. it's not like 8 weeks. then the attorney general says and i'm willing to come up and explain it all to you. i will testify in front of congress and still chairman nadler he is mad. >> jesse: right. barr is a total pro. he has his eyes on the road.
he has his hands on the wheel. and democrats, the kids in the back are we there yet? are we there yet? he is not even listening. he is going to get to the destination. >> dana: don't make me pull this car over. >> jesse: don't make me pull this car over, kids. he is doing it by the book. he has impeccable credentials. democrats are setting themselves up for more disappointment they see there is no collusion. barr criminal conspiracy to cover up russian collusion with rod rosenstein and out rest of the department of justice. i just don't think that's true. can we make a trip down what aboutism lane? [laughter] >> dana: jesse, take the wheel. >> jesse: conspiracy and coverup. how about when hillary bleechesd 30,000 emails or destroyed all of the blackberries with a hammer or when her husband met with the woman investigating her on a tarmac and everybody pled the fifth? and everybody got immunity deals, permission to go a little farther down that?
how about when the irs destroyed tons of servers or when the a.g. at the time holder was held in contempt for not disclosing all the information about fast and furious? where all the contractors of bengals were made tbenghazi wern ndas. that sounds like more of a coverup than the coverup going on right now. i would remind the democrats what they said then which was absolutely nothing. >> dana: all right, juan. i'm going to give you a chance to reverse from that lane if you would like. to say no, we're going to stop the met for right there. do you think this gets the democrats a little bit closer to what they need? which is they say they want to see it. they are obviously concerned there will be redactions with regards to material subject to the grand jury or anything that would hurt a third party that was peripheral and also anything that's intelligence-related? but this gets them closer to where they have wanted to be. >> well, jerry nadler, the chairman, had a conversation with bill barr earlier this week.
and he said he wasn't satisfied in that conversation because barr indicated to him that there would be redactions in whatever is released. he said at that time he thought it would be, again, mid april, which is what he confirmed in this letter today. what's the news out of the letter for people who are looking at it as trump critics, is that he said that people are overvaluing the earlier missive which simply said here is the bottom line in terms of conspiracy and obstruction. he says it was not intended to be an exhaustive report on what mueller had found. >> dana: right. he says in this letter he says as my letter made clear, my innovation to congress and the public provided, pending release of the report, a summary of its principle conclusion and that is its bottom line. of course, which we know is no collusion. and then on the obstruction piece. >> juan: the thing about that is it has provided the opportunity to jump up and down and take the wheel for the last week. i think there are a lot of people who think you know what? william barr has done a tremendous service to the president and his supporters
because they have allowed them now to treat this as if it's a fait accompli. it's all done. we know what the bottom line is. when in fact there may be tremendous amount of evidence and tremendous amount of testimony. again we are not sure we will see grand jury testimony indicating that there was involvement. it just didn't rise to the level of indictment and prosecution. but that is, you know, a nuances at this point. nonetheless, i think today is good news. i would say this to people on the left. i don't think that you should get excited and expect that, you know, you have got to dial back your expectations. i don't think it's going to be damning in the full report. people on the right dial back the idea you think as president trump says this is total vindication because i don't think that's what is coming. >> dana: are you dialing up or dialing down, back, forward? reverse? >> kennedy: i'm on neutral on most of these things because i have very low expectations of government individuals by and large. i'm never surprised by the process or the ability of
either side to politicize each the tiniest piece of news. what i will say about william barr, i don't share your universal blanket of love for the attorney general. you know, he is a fine pick. he wasn't any first choice. he has some issues in his past. this must be a very different time from which he served under george h.w. bush. he must be overwhelmed. >> jesse: i would say he is better than jeff sessions. i don't know why he would completely undermine his reputation of putting out a false summary of the mueller report that does not serve him at all in the slightest. is he not going to seek the presidency. it doesn't seem as though he has these grand political aspirations and, also special counsel is helping with the redactions if this were so completely counter to what robert mueller and his team had been doing the last few years they would have come out. they are done. they have would have come out and said no, no, that's a mischaracterization and working on the redactions.
>> dana: greg, we gave you time to get revved up. >> greg: why why need time? are you suggesting there is something going going on with me. you are using the word digest. unfair. i might have a little issue right now that is not the public's business. and i would refrain from bringing it up again. look, all this news is basically table scraps for a bitter media where you will see redactions. they will scream conspiracy. rachel maddow will break out the white board because this is their business model. i predict not only will they find collusion and obstruction. they will find the location of big foot and the lost city of atlantis, which i believe is somewhere outside denver. so this is going to keep going. because the media wants to keep this going because it's their business model and who benefits from this? russia. because let's not forget the primary goal of russia was to undermine our institutions. it wasn't about auto electing trump or anybody. it was about screwing with our mentality. making us question
everything and foment chaos. who is fulfilling the russian's goal media and the democrats. except juan is correct. the ones that dial back expectations and move on are doing the right thing. >> juan: you know what i would say at this moment, bill barr is so much the focus of all our attention. and bill barr, have you got to remember at least from my perspective, campaigned for this job and said that he believed in expensive expansive presidential power. he wrote a letter, dana. >> jesse: are you suggesting that there is a politician involved in this? >> juan: no, no, no. >> greg: i'm going to go further. have you ever seen mr. barr and steve bannon together at the same time? steve bannon with glasses? >> juan: no, no, no. i think he ate him. >> dana: comparison, jesse, permission granted? >> jesse: allowed. >> dana: i think bill barr as a former attorney general
who i don't think anticipated going back. he didn't apply for the job. wasn't leave his life as he had it to go back into government. >> jesse: to the trump campaign. not a lot of people wanted to do that. >> dana: is he a lawyer's lawyer. i have some thoughts on this jots them down and sends them other. it would be like let's say i didn't have the job i have now but i was in p.r. practice and i was like, you know, i have some advice and thoughts for sarah sanders. i'm going to shoot her a little letter. does that sound like i'm campaigning to be in a job? >> kennedy: no. you have written two books and one of them was largely about your time as press secretary for the president. >> dana: and still available on amazon. >> greg: one about a dog named jasper in case have you forgotten. >> juan: he wrote a letter to white house counsel i think that takes it to a different level. >> dana: maybe he have to answer such a question. >> greg: goes all the way to the top. space aliens, big foot. >> dana: up next, we'll have much more on attorney general barr saying he is
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♪ >> jesse: a fox news alert. we are following the breaking news out of washington. attorney general william barr saying congress will have a redacted version of the nearly 400 page mueller report by mid april, if not sooner. amid the breaking news about the mueller report, president trump unleashing on democrats last night for pushing the collusion narrative. >> after three years of lies and smears and slander, the russia hoax is finally dead. [cheers and applause] the collusion delusion is
over. [cheers] >> the special counsel completed its report and found no collusion and no obstruction. [cheers and applause] >> the democrats have to now decide whether they will continue defrauding the public with ridiculous [bleep] [cheers] >> jesse: and congressman adam schiff, who still insists there was collusion, got some special trump treatment with a brand new nickname. >> little pencil neck adam schiff got the smallest, thinnest neck i have ever seen. [laughter] he is not a long ball hitter. but i saw him today, well, we don't really know, there could still have been some russia collusion. [laughter] [boos] sick. sick. these are sick people.
>> jesse: nancy pelosi is coming to schiff's defense though saying republicans that are going after him are just afraid. >> i'm so proud of the work of chairman adam schiff. in stark contrast to the irresponsible, almost criminal behavior of the previous chair of the committee so what is the president afraid of? i think they are just scaredy-cats. >> jesse: okay. juan, do the democrats risk any credibility here when after mueller and we are going to see the report eventually concludes no collusion and they continue to hit the collusion narrative and trump just keeps whacking him? >> no. >> juan: remember, juan, you made the most important point. we haven't seen the report. what we have seen is that bill barr said it didn't rise. whatever evidence that mueller collected did not rise to the point where he could point to a conspiracy. and he left open the
question. one is i expected a victory parade yesterday. instead it looked to me like a rerun of a trump rally from 2016 and it looked, you know, i'm going to ask you guys a question. i don't want to come across as prudish but i don't like my president using that kind of profanity in front of a large audience and people in general. and i think this whole business with pencil neck schiff i think it's petty and boorish. >> jesse: pencil neck aside if barack obama kennedy had used the words like we just bleeped would you be offended? >> it's hard to offend me. >> greg: i did during the break. >> jesse: let's not bring that up again. >> kennedy: great time god bless his soul. i miss you, dad. he knows, it's fine. >> jesse: language? nicknames? what do you think? >> i'm not a huge fan of
this nickname. i thought on the grand scale of nicknames this one was a little bit mean. >> jesse: oh it was mean? >> kennedy: it was a little mean. there is nothing you can do like your neck little marco rubio. >> jesse: nothing can you do about crooked either. >> kennedy: many choices about her crookedness. she could have made many choices in her past and not compromised herself completely as a human being but she didn't make those choices. >> jesse: kennedy not fully satisfied with pencil neck, dana, what do you think? you're not a fan. >> dana: i don't like the nicknames the only one i liked little rocket man. that one i really liked. on the point of the adam schiff, nine republicans on the house intelligence committee came together and all unanimously said he should step down as chairman. to me, that was significant because it wasn't like you had devin nunes on the committee saying oh he should step down or if you
had somebody like jim jordan or mark meadows who are on tv or matt gaetz on tv defending the president all the time. you see people in the intelligence community actually worked for us in the intelligence community like will hurd stepho stephonins c. it wasn't hard to get to the point yeah he should step down. subdistantively i thought that spoke voluminous. >> jesse: nobody called for devin nunes to step down although he engaged in much worse. >> i'm sure they did. >> jesse: nunes got killed by the way by the democrats and the media for doing nothing. and he was right the whole time. >> juan: stooge for the white house. you missed my point. nobody called for him to step down. trey gowdy five years on benghazi? anybody say give it up? >> jesse: people like swalwell and schiff rod this collusion wave to the top. it raised their profile and raised a lot of money off of
this. now that it's kind of evaporated don't you think they deserve to get whacked? >> that wasn't a victory lap. that was a victory butt kicking. there is a great article in the atlantic by even k. coffins or mccoffins coffee. >> dana: i love that one. >> greg: collusion business model all these guys making money and building twitter followers seth abramson charlatans. i think it's going to be interesting right now i was at the gym not right now. >> jesse: you look great. >> greg: thank you by the way i almost got sick on the stair climber watching cnn. they are running out of stuff. they reported a poll that said that trump is seen by the majority as ill tempered. that's what they were talking about like 10 minutes. they went from he's a spy to, you know, he is really mean. >> kennedy: schiff did the same thing. schiff downgraded from
conspiracy and co-collusion to coordination. who got a shoutout from the president? >> greg: beef to tofu dogs. >> jesse: have you really come around, greg. >> juan: oh, boy. >> jesse: giving as you preview of what's to come in the 2020 races more from his explosive rallies last night. ♪ ♪ ♪ be right back. with moderate to severe crohn's disease, i was there, just not always where i needed to be. is she alright? i hope so. so i talked to my doctor about humira. i learned humira is for people who still have symptoms of crohn's disease after trying other medications. and the majority of people on humira saw significant symptom relief and many achieved remission in as little as 4 weeks. humira can lower your ability to fight infections, including tuberculosis. serious, sometimes fatal infections and cancers, including lymphoma, have happened; as have blood, liver,
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♪ ♪ >> kennedy: name of the band wrong so you know. all right. it is game on for -- is it -- >> greg: i don't think it's close. >> kennedy: game on for president trump collusion in his mirror explosive rally. the president is giving us a preview of what's to come by taking aim at democrats and their radical agenda, watch.
>> the democrat party has never been further outside of the mainstream. they are being brought so far left. radical democrats are the party of high taxes open borders, late-term abortion, crime, hoaxes and delusions. >> kennedy: the president also mocking his opponent for pushing the green new deal. >> i would rather not talk about it tonight because i don't want to talk them out of it too soon. [laughter] because i love campaigning against the green new deal. i want them to make that a big part of their platform no more airplanes, no more cows. one car per family. >> kennedy: all right have fun at democrats expense on wind power. >> if hillary got in you would be doing wind mills and if it doesn't. [laughter] if it doesn't blow, you can
forget about television for that night. darling, i want to watch television. i'm sorry, the wind isn't blowing. [laughter] i know a lot about wind. >> kennedy: he does. beautiful wind. greg, it looks like you want to make wind now. >> greg: like arena rock band and now he has some new songs. you know, build the wall used to be free bird. and lock her up was stairway to heaven. now he has the collusion delusion which sounds like a guns and roses album. >> kennedy: collusion one. >> greg: green new deal is now kind of now replacing his lock her up. i also have to say i actually don't mind the swearing. if you do it sparingly. i think it's good to break that seal. we all swear. why do we pretend like we don't swear. i can't stop thinking about adam schiff's neck. it works. do you know what i mean? i never thought about his neck. now i'm thinking about his
neck. the one thing i missed from this rally he should have thanked vlad in the middle. you could hear michael moore's head explode. tom arnold's. i would like to thank blod and move on. >> kennedy: doesn't tom arnold want to fight you. >> greg: i think so or run away together. together. >> kennedy: no joke. the president would love to run against that and the fact that all of the democrat senators running for president on the record to endorse and support it i think has been a gift to this president. >> dana: hillary clinton's daughter chelsea clinton sent a president to the president today actually that's not how it works and a link to your energy department and explain it to you. i'm pretty sure the president is not going to care about that. can i nerd about this one second. >> greg: how about eight years? >> dana: something different about this rally than his rallies in 2016. does anybody know what it
is? he. >> kennedy: he sweated more. >> dana: 2016 they did not have a mechanism on the trump campaign to gather information on anybody who wanted to come in. now what's different is brad parscale at the trump campaign has a system where if you want a ticket to the rally you have to sign in, you have got to register. what do you get from that? you have the ability to contact them throughout the campaign whether small dollar donations, getting people to volunteer. put up a sign maybe make sure your neighbor gets to the voting booth they only won michigan by 11,000 votes. a hidden story last night nerdy and important. think how many people, 25,000 people wanted to get. in they have all that information now. >> kennedy: that's a great point. like metrics in baseball. >> jesse: can i continue to nerd out with you. i had brad parscale on my show and he told me what he told you we have the numbers from michigan they said about 40% of these people at the rally were democrats.
a massive amount of them are independents a lot of them were also new voters that had never voted before. they get their cell phones and then they can make those determinations. and he actually made they are harvesting a million new votes per week in each key swing state across the country, phenomenal job they are doing out there. actually said they are going to start expanding the maps so the democrats aren't necessarily going to be playing defense in the rust belt. brad was talking about having them play defense in states like minnesota and new mexico. i don't think the democrats are even going to realize what hit them to be honest with you they did not deserve to win the midterm elections. when you have think about why, juan, they had the cloud of the russia hoax hanging over them. they had republican members of the house retiring early. the bales of the democratic party was all jacked up from impeachment because of the russian hoax. if they had settled this thing before the midterms. it might have been a different outcome.
to me, again, what struck me last night is he spends a whole republicans have someone they want to. >> wrestling or something. hey speck cackle in town. contend kent the man is worth $3.2 billion. >> juan: people will be attracted to a spectacle. doesn't mean offering political support. 56% of americans say i'm not voting for trump. that's a big number. >> kennedy: didn't they say that last time? >> juan: no. he said i am building the wall. last night he went on a large how he is building the wall. the press won't give him credit. i'm thinking what is going on here? relate there is no funding and is he not building a wall failure to keep campaign promise not only on that, you know, southern
california to watch new wall construction being built. >> jesse: we watch this on this show, juan i want you to apologize. >> kennedy: greg wants to clarify. >> greg: juan's point about the people who come to see donald trump. this is a different kind of president. when you talk about president obama, there was much passion for him from the media. they looked at him with reverence. not because they wanted to hug him but because they wanted t to kneel before him. what you see here is the exact opposite. you are seeing a human response to a human being. these are people when they see donald trump, i know they want to hug him because they tell me that because they actually have a genuine affection for him. i wouldn't dismiss this as purely aspect kel. wheas a aspect tackle. they are there because they like that guy. >> juan: he is there because he pushes the fair button in particular. uses profanity. obama was about up --
>> dana: i was going to add one thing thing. weird out at the end. in el paso, do you remember when the president went there about three or four weeks ago. i think it was the same like 30 pierce of the came democrats, union members and hispanic and i don't know if they mean they come to the rally and they all of a sudden become dedicated trump followers they are curious enough to come and they register have the information and. >> kennedy: they are going to get more information and they will have appeals for donations. >> juan: one more thing before we go? >> kennedy: more. there is juan. yea. when you combine ancestry's dna test with its billions of records, you could learn you're from ireland... donegal, ireland. and your ancestor was a fisherman. with blue eyes. just like you. begin your journey at ancestry.com webut some of us turn outhose dreams......
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most pathetic most laughed at immigration rules in the world. they are the democrats laws. i got stuck with. they two brand new caravans coming up, if you can believe it two big ones. we have run out of room. we have this ridiculous catch and release program where you catch them and then you are supposed to release them. have to do something otherwise i'm closing the border. >> juan: wow, and this is what i wanted to talk about, kennedy. he says he wants to shut down the southern border. now, i don't think we're that kind of country. i think maybe after 9/11 we might have shut it for a few hours. we have never done something like this. it would have tremendous impact on commerce. remember, they are our huge trading partner, mexico. >> kennedy: oil, strawberries. >> juan: i don't know what else. lots of commerce. secondly on workers and american industry, again. so what do you think? >> kennedy: i think that if the president does this by executive fe fiat he will be challenged in the court and
probably not succeed as president obama didn't. and i think this also adds to the confusion which is why so many people are coming over the border and trying to get in because they are convinced that the border is going to be sealed at some point and is he absolutely right. congress has not done their job and they have created so much more chaos and so many more uncertainties. and if you talk to individual members of congress oh, yes, well, i really want to do something about it but my colleagues they certainly don't because they are lazy and they only work 12 days a year. when the president is forceful and makes these declarations it only makes more people come over worrying the door is going to shut for good. we were discussing and going back and forth on the wall no wall and his rant last night. -- he is saying i'm going to close the border. does that strike you as a
little bit much? >> jesse: we have a hot economy. people want to come here. mexico is doing absolutely nothing to stop all these family units from central america from coming right across their country up north. and, you know, because of the loopholes, people want to be here because they know they can get amnesty and their kids can get in and they can live a much better life. the democrats lying about the border as they were about the russia hoax. we now have jeh johnson who was the dhs secretary under barack obama saying it's crisis. you had today on cnn the chief of the customs and border patrol deputy who is hispanic say it's an absolute crisis. they don't have the capacity. they don't have the manpower, the infrastructure, they can't handle it right now they are projecting over 100,000 illegal entries this month alone. that is over a 10-year high. and if congress doesn't do anything about it, the president has to act. >> juan: well, that's a good point. i think our asylum laws are such that people say that you can apply for asylum in the united states in terms of fleeing violence or even
in terms of saying that you are politically oppressed, that you have a right to be in the united states. secondly, of course, they are the laws that say that people coming from central america as opposed to mexico are to be treated differently, dana. so, from what i'm hearing from both kennedy and jesse is, hey, america can solve this problem if we did something about our laws. >> dana: absolutely. no question you could actually do a lot. and it probably -- they could probably work it out in a weekend if they were willing to. and everyone has to understand not everyone is going to get everything they want. that's what a compromise is about. i don't think the president is suggesting shutting down the border because he wants. to say i think he very much does not want to. i think they are leaving him no choice because how many land security secretary is pleading for help. she is saying i cannot guarantee who is coming into this country. i need help. i don't know what else she can do to try to convince people that she has absolutely has to have some help. you remember what happened with angela merkel saying i will take a million refugees
in germany and we all look at that and go wow that ultimately was a terrible decision. they had 100,000 try to cross in march. okay, so you do 100,000. >> jesse: we are on pace for over a million. >> dana: over a million in one year. what they're saying is we want to take care of them. we don't have enough beds to take care of the children. >> kennedy: more judges. >> dana: congresswoman said today on the daily briefing they haven't even staffed up at the border enough because they are in total crisis mode over there you can't make decisions when you are in a crisis. and maybe the way have to get everybody to focus is the president might have to do something as drastic as shutting down the border. and i don't think he wants to do it, but i think they are leaving him no choice. >> jesse: greg, part of the problem so highly politicized. politicized for a long time going back to george w. bush who tried to do something. now, after trump talks about an invasion, these people are gangsters, they are terrorists, they are rapists. people are like jeesh.
>> he is talking about large groups of people there can be unsavory people in it. i think trump is frustrated over that point. the stalemate is purely political. he blames both parties. that's what i think fuels this anger and i think the merkel decision is the thing that changed the framing for our country. democrats, liberals have to understand you can't have a new fuss border and great government programs. you can't have them at the same time. if you want an awesome safety net you have to seal the border or the whole country is going to crumble because everybody is going to want to be in the place where there is lots of free stuff. >> juan: to that point, don't more people, in fact i'm thinking here of terrorist come across the northern border? he is not talking about sealing the northern border? >> jesse: there is not a huge influx of canadians. >> kennedy: if you go to canada and some of the border towns there are people from mexico and central america working. so what do canadians do will legal immigrants who make it
all the way through the united states? >> greg: the dems are jekyll and hying this it's a crisis no, crisis. only when it suits their needs. i'm with kamala harris who tweeted today that this is a humanitarian crisis. >> you are right. i would agree. >> greg: there we are. >> juan: we have agreement on "the five. fan mail friday is up next on "the five." ♪ ♪ i feel nice ♪
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♪ >> greg: i wouldn't see that's tiki music. fan mail first question from karl smith. what's the worst thing you've eaten out of politeness, juan? >> juan: horse. >> greg: you ate horse? >> juan: i didn't want to. you are laughing at my ask ass because i ate a horse's ass. >> jesse: i was going to say you ate crow every single show. >> juan: served cold. you will try some shortly. >> jesse: truther. >> greg: when did you eat
horse? >> juan: i was in japan. i had no choice. >> greg: oh my goodness. >> jesse: i ate ethiopian food with my hands sitting indian style on a mat like that. it was horrible but i was polite. >> greg: dana. >> dana: lamb. >> greg: too gamey i ate horse i didn't know i was eating horse. they did it to see how i would react. i was furious. peter and david, you are still on my. >> juan: with your husband? >> jesse: greg gutfeld thought that veal was an animal. >> greg: yes, i did. >> jesse: he didn't know. >> greg: i told you in the break that's not for public consumption. i thought it was a smaller version of a lamb or something. i didn't realize what it was. i don't eat veal. anyway, kennedy.
>> kennedy: i eat weird stuff. i like weird stuff. i have eaten pancreas, brain, intestines in japanese soup. they love shocking with you their culinary delights. as long as it doesn't have gluten i will eat anything. >> juan: where did you eat pancreas? >> kennedy: at your house. these what sweet bread is. >> juan: i thought it was brains. >> kennedy: that's what i said brains and testicular delights. >> greg: a puff finnell. kennedy contend doesn't paul manafort have a coat made out of that? >> greg: not anymore. what did your parents want you to be when you grew up? >> kennedy: out of house. >> juan: that's dana's corny joke of the day. >> greg: jesse? >> jesse: they just wanted me to have health insurance. >> greg: very good. >> greg: kennedy? >> kennedy: i think dad wanted me to secretly be a
lawyer. he was such a fox fan. when dana came on my fox business show my dad called me and could not believe i got dana perino to be on my show. >> greg: juan, what did your parents want you to be. >> juan: both my brother and sister were big time lawyers. why don't you go to graduate school. even my wife's parents thought ink stain you work at "the washington post" can't you get a job? >> greg: my parents didn't just want me to go to prison. i think so far i have been pretty good except for that brief time in mexico. >> jesse: you will get the smollett treatment if you ever get busted. >> greg: thank god i'm that important. more kiki. ♪ fact is, every insurance company hopes you drive safely. but allstate actually helps you drive safely... with drivewise. it lets you know when you go too fast... ...and brake too hard. with feedback to help you drive safer.
giving you the power to actually lower your cost. unfortunately, it can't do anything about that. . . opening doors with cologuard. turning 50 opens the door to a lot of new things... like now your doctor may be talking to you about screening for colon cancer. luckily there's me, cologuard. the noninvasive test you use at home. it all starts when your doctor orders me. then it's as easy as get, go, gone. you get me when i'm delivered... right to your front door and in the privacy of your own home. there's no prep or special diet needed. you just go to the bathroom, to collect your sample. after that, i'm gone, shipped to the lab for dna testing that finds colon cancer and precancer. cologuard is not right for everyone. it is not for high risk individuals, including those with a history of colon cancer or precancer.
>> dana: time now for one more thing. jesse? >> jesse: here's an addition of montes! stop, stop, stop your screaming. this person is devious, dishonorable. of course she needs to be investigated. next one. you are actually throwing out activations accusations of illegal activity by the obama administration? who are you, the cia? you spent months delegitimizing
the integrity of the mueller investigation. does it not strike you as a tad bit disingenuous to embrace its conclusions with glee? >> juan: from the bottom of my heart, thank you. >> jesse: thank you. dana corrected you about your michelle obama statement. you said she "called in a favor" that slander. when you make incorrect statements like that, you are liable. >> juan: will make this when the >> jesse: my last one, speak with the english majors in your family. your analogies are wretched and they missed the boat. thanks, mom. sarah logan and george papadopoulos -- not stephanopoulos, on "watters' world." >> dana: they win, win, win.
there they are. the coach is tom or thin. they compete with universities with large budgets, yet with none of these things we consistently come out as tournament champions. they won the national tournament. they defended their title. they are amazing for they are all run by volunteers. amazing! congratulations, utah state university. >> greg: you won't find that on cnn. you won't find it anywhere, actually. but here. sorry. ""the greg gutfeld show"!" emily compagno, jim joe manchin florentine, kat timpf, tyrus. this is from boston dynamics. it's the new robot, it's called the handle. they are making some creepy stuff at that place. the thing is they don't return anyone's calls, so i think boston dynamics could be evil
and ride by actual artificial intelligence. you never see many humans around there. it can do back flips, by the way. >> jesse: it looks great. >> dana: smashing one more thing. ♪ robots are great >> juan: unless there are workers... this little lady packs a punch, folks. take a look at 93-year-old bernie block three great grandchildren, lives in a seniors community in seattle. and she's taking a boxing. my dad trained boxers, and i can tell you that boxing is great exercise, incredible aerobic exercise. of course, for the elderly, it improves your balance. also says it makes her brain stimulated and is not only the elderly strapping long gloves, models and actors have put boxing in a position to challenge yoga as the fitness activity of choice. bernie's, at 93 years young? kid, you're a champ!
go for it, >> dana: kennedy! >> kennedy: problems season is upon us. they noticed zombies in the background, because walking dead is huge around there. these are not extras from the show. these are people who are paid to put on makeup as a tourist attraction. the photographer stephanie just kept shooting and it turned zombies into prombies. >> dana: a great friday. we'll see you ♪ [national anthem]
>> we will see the special counsel's report in a matter of weeks, if not days. >> confidence in the attorney general. this was a hoax. this was a witch-hunt. >> mueller did reach a conclusion that there was no collusion. >> for the first time in more than a decade, cbp is now forced to release migrants into the u.s. because of overcrowding. >> they don't stop them. we're closing the borders. close it and keep it closed for a long time. i'm not playing games. >> these people violated the laws of this country. >> jussie smollett hoax crime saginaw continues. >> we do need law us. and laws require that people be held accountable if they make false charges. >> democratic candidate for the governor