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tv   The Greg Gutfeld Show  FOX News  December 27, 2020 1:00am-2:00am PST

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i want so much for america to be prosperous and strong the way our founding fathers intended her. you can buy my gook "don't lie to me" because i'm tired of i'm jeanine pirro signing up tonight. justice has been served. greg: have you noticed the change at how dull everything has become since the election? it's like something electrifying and hopeful was taken from you. once you have a monster truck and now you've got a walker. we went from big ideas like operation warp speed to moments like these. c just go ahead, any time you are ready. that is the hard news friends.
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don't think is life is better because of it. maybe it's better for the lady who filed threats disguised as news but it's not that her for america. in fact what you are seeing is a disappearing act. not just the angry pseudo-journalism of the screechy press at also big ideas and small ideas to to be replaced by no ideas. the worst thing about trump love him or hate him he got leaked to them but it wasn't just operation warp speed which will go down in history as something news. hey fellows can you speed that of people are dying over here and it won't just be the middle east peace plan that has piled up i cared a barbershop. trump made a difference there too pretty didn't use her crusty diplomats. he relied on salesmanship is a personal touch. it worked. this is the stuff we ever look at as there was other amazing things floating around.
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the stuff that interested trump were as big as the galaxy like this put a small was the beads of water pummeling your scalp your showerhead ideas big or small he loves them all and if you can get it done he says do it. while critics scoffed trump knew that clever rules ruled the world. to big idea and if you haven't thought about it you are missing everything. anyone can land on the moon these days but the nation that plans a base on it and point their weapons at you spells doom for the rest of us. it's an idea that generations will look back on and say why didn't they think of the space for senator? because you needed a trump to do it not an obama. he couldn't launch the obamacare web site. meanwhile trump launched the space force and the vaccine. think about that for a minute.
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anything trump started the u.s. space forces expected to continue with joe biden in office. getting rid of it is no simple as pitching a bathrobe for a midnight swim. you need an act of congress. last week pence announced an official name for the servicemembers. a would-be guardians of the history books will record that as well as the vaccine. the middle east peace plan plus what about the showerheads? there's that small idea. trump realizes while we cherish national security we also love strong water pressure. seriously how about the showers? >> how about the shower's? i have this beautiful head of hair. as you go into the shower you turn on the water and it drips, drip, drip. sanity take a shower and water comes dripping out. very quietly dripping out. have you ever gotten into a
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shower where no water comes out of? >> you take a shower in the water doesn't come out so what do you do? you stand there longer or you take a shower longer? with my hair i don't know about you but it has to be perfect. greg: what about toilets? >> some people up to flush their toilets 50 times. greg: 50 times it to flush the toilet to the u.s. department energy made new rules that fulfills trump's goals of efficiency standards have led to the super weak water pressure put a new rules on showerheads which is a win for your quality of life. the media didn't get this because they don't understand or care about your quality of life like this. >> a standards will just be put
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back when biden takes office but you still have to admire trump's determination and you have to wonder what would we have 300,000 dead if he had been the village encompass persistent about our uncontrolled pandemic? greg: give me a break. trump cares about showerheads he cares about covid. brian, he's not like you. one tiny microwave oven that can barely handle one hot pocket at a time. he is a pizza oven rotating nine or 10 pies at once. he can hold a number of different thoughts in his head. he can think about space and showers and covid and lots of other stuff and he refuses to see limitations in any of them. trump's motto let's see what happens. people see problems and they troubleshoot. trump may be the most maligned president in history by the
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media. that's because he's not like them. he's an optimist. a problem is something you fix and if you can't define someone he can. we will see what happens. if joe we will see what happens there too. what is he predicting? >> i am going to tell you the truth and here's the simple truth. our darkest days in the battle against covid are ahead of us, not behind us. greg: ahead of the spirit talk about lowering the bar for success and the media was still calling it a big win. >> a period. let's welcome tonight's guest. his idea bodybuilding is filling a building full of bodies. host of fox nation tom shillue. he choose no tobacco it's comedian joe machi. she finds windowshopping a pain.
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host of fox nation kat timpf. his christmas stocking have a humvee and it. my massive psychic and host of fox nation tyrus. all right show you seem like the type of person that would be super excited about the space force. >> i'm excited. technically it's been around in some form or other since 82. it's just a separate branch of the military. but guardians the worst names of the washington football team. like astro nights. i don't understand why people are upset about it. if we have to go to war what is the hope? maybe they don't want to win. greg: astro nights. that sounds like -- >> stop. greg: astro nights.
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specific clientele i might add. you knew my mind was going to go there. you know what i'm sat at myself. >> i don't even get it. greg: kat astro nights would be a series of 20 to 30. tom. you see i'm looking at here hair. you got a haircut and it looks pretty good. he's more interested in the showerhead phenomenon. >> during your brilliant on line greg you brought up who is that guy from nbc. brian williams. you call them a certain name. the way he tried to compare covid to the showerheads and donald trump did make it because he said what happens when you lower the water pressure? you stay in longer in so many covid restrictions have those unintended consequences. shut down the restaurants and people gather at home. it made me think if you apply
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his shower logic to covid then we wouldn't have these ridiculous shutdowns greg so a good point. greg: that is a great points but the showerheads he never stopped talking about it and he's right people stay in the shower longer. if we want to save water greg we need to talk to women. i follow the signs in every scientific study says women stay in the shower longer, greg. if they could just cut down their showers. greg: kat are you anti-science? >> i stay in the shower for long time. >> there are you are. >> it's a only because i hate the environment. i'm like i want to get out but i have to make sure there is more destruction. greg: you try to use as much
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much waters of family. >> sometimes they take eight or 10. i hate the environment. that is why. greg: what do you make of space? >> space force, the crazy idea for the space force. there could be some sort of routine system where it's held accountable for spending its massive budget and the other branches of the military do the same. i agree with joe progression in china are doing this, we have to do this but i would love to see the military in general there being some accountability. i don't think that's going to happen with biden. he is a big work i but crazier than the space wars. greg: my dream is to see the high-pressure showerheads in outer space. >> a more likely than accountability i will say. greg: tyrus? >> i have to criticize the old president here for a second.
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i just feel like you didn't go far enough with the shower. while i appreciate the struggles of water pressure how about the struggle of never having a shower over your head? every time you take a shower the water goes right here. you're in the shower going -- greg: you have to do that at every hotel. >> do you know what the answer is? beside shower you can hold it over your head which limits washing and you can only move as far as the court goes so it's tragic. i applaud the president for water pressure. but everybody i don't think it's wrong. everybody should calm down. this half as measure coming out of the wall is really unfair.
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you frolic in spray stuff around and for me it's literally a garden hose. greg: by the way we have got to go but i love the shower with the thing because it's just great. >> for you at the microphone. greg: thank you for keeping that joe klain. i had a quick announcement. for new year's eve special thursday at 8:00 p.m. eastern time it's live on tape. join me catherine tyrus and fresh from the priesthood jonathan morris. we will talk about the winners and losers of 2020, memorable moments of the year possibly more. join us here at a special time 8:00 p.m. eastern. i didn't know that. up next the one test nba players can avoid this season.
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william: 145 over 92. alyson: 180 over 111. jodie: 182 over 100 and i had a heart attack and cardiac arrest, and then a stroke. vo: your blood pressure numbers could change your life. frank: a lot of people don't understand, including myself, i didn't know, now i do, the impact of having a stroke. william: my memory is shot.
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alyson: when i woke up, i couldn't speak. mick: if i would have followed a treatment plan, i would not be in this situation. frank: it's a tough jouney. vo: lowering your high blood pressure could save you from a heart attack or stroke. if you've stopped your treatment plan, restart it or talk to your doctor about creating one that works better for you. start taking the right steps at manageyourbp.org frank: it's a new life but i'm going to make it better. i'm coming back. ask your doctor, check your blood pressure. you're choosing to get connected to the most to xfinity mobile, reliable network nationwide, now with 5g included. discover how to save up to $400 a year with shared data starting at $15 a month, or get the lowest price for one line of unlimited. come into your local xfinity store to make the most of your mobile experience.
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you can shop the latest phones, bring your own device, or trade in for extra savings. stop in or book an appointment to shop safely with peace of mind at your local xfinity store. greg: during the break i had to explain to two people here the plot to astro nights. they shall look the other way if you are smoking it j or they
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won't be testing players for marijuana. alito said in a statement due to the unusual circumstances in conjunction with the pandemic we will suspend marijuana testing for the 20-21 season. i have no idea why change my voice for that. i felt i had to do it. it will still be in the banned substance list but the legal focus their testing on that performance-enhancing drugs for the player enough time in the court they shouldn't be sent to another one because of how they choose to unwind. i believe we have tape of their next great player smoke face johnson. i wanted to be there for that moment that he discovered that incredible talent.
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that doesn't happen by accident. okay do you agree with this decision? >> there's too much testing everywhere. we are so possessed with testing. i want to test anybody anymore. generally i'm no fan of smoking pot before basketball game. even that performance-enhancing drugs i think they should test young people. if you are under 30 got to get tested that some of those older players, why not? the thing is the biggest performance enhancing drug these older players i hate seen them struggle on the courts. greg: i like that idea. as you get older you can start taking more drugs on a sliding scale. that's something somebody high would come up with. that's my stoner wisdom. tyrus so many player smoke dope
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that they should have a team for people who don't smoke to. >> how about the fact that it's legal and dam near half the country now. i play for the lakers and it's legal. you can smoke and recreational but then i'm tested for it every time i play in portland? it makes no sense. it's not fair. we need to get it together. we need to figure out if it's legal one place let's make it across-the-board. you shouldn't have to test for it. if you see signs of a drug addiction or alcohol abuse then you talk to that individual but across-the-board i think it's ridiculous. greg: are you going to say libertarian? bite your tongue. anytime you get into this you get into world model. these people are rolled models. what do you say to that?
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>> marijuana testing specifically is pretty ridiculous because you can test positive if you smoked a month ago depending on your body. that doesn't tell you anything. you say you evaluating an employee in effect that somebody smoked a month ago doesn't mean they have a crippling marijuana addiction. it's absolutely absurd. it's legal in so many places and the test tells you it could be you smoked a month ago and it's not like you are high right now and smoke all the time. greg: okay we get pothead. joe or reach us giving up? there's a theory that society can only handle one and we decided early on we could deal with the alcoholics. but the alcoholics and potheads and coke heads and junkies?
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>> junk heads is the correct term. greg: i'm worried there will be an unintended consequence and i might enjoy the nba much more if all of the players were smoking drugs. i would prefer seeing it. lebron james he missed any doesn't seem that upset about it. greg: but i have read pot is a performance-enhancing drug. am i wrong anybody? >> it depends who you are. if you have that type, some people get paranoid and some have great ideas and some decide to mix things like cookies and pizza. it depends on your character the effects of lead weed. or you are a napper. greg: for our viewers at home
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i'm a libertarian on this. you can compartmentalize that are regulated and put it into packaging and make it less harmful but i just don't understand why people love pot. a it either makes me grumpy and or sleepy. i've become, i'm grumpy, i'm sleepy. >> that's because you are smoking when you are already trashed on boos. greg: is that it? >> it's illegal. it's that whole thing i'm against the system. when you take that away it's a safe way to be gangster because typically you will get your ask it but if you mess with the kilo you've got to go. you know what i'm saying? you get a beat down. so it's a safe way.
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>> people say you can still drive after you smoked pot and i say that why are you doing it? >> that's a good point. greg: the things i enjoy taking i can't drive so there you go. a juice makers forced to apologize, because, i will tell you later. heart failure causes nearly two hospitalizations every minute.
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understanding how to talk to your doctor about treatment options is key. today, we are redefining how we do things. we find new ways of speaking, so you're never out of touch. it's seeing someone's face that comforts us, no matter where. when those around us know us, they can show us just how much they care. the first steps of checking in, the smallest moments can end up being everything. there's resources that can inform us, and that spark can make a difference. when we use it to improve things, then that change can last within us. when we understand what's possible, we won't settle for less. the best thing we can be is striving to be at our best. managing heart failure starts now with understanding. call today or go online to understandheartfailure.com for a free heart failure handbook.
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call today or go online to understandheartfailure.com alyson: 180 over 111.
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jodie: 182 over 100 and i had a heart attack and cardiac arrest, and then a stroke. vo: your blood pressure numbers could change your life. frank: a lot of people don't understand, including myself, i didn't know, now i do, the impact of having a stroke. william: my memory is shot. alyson: when i woke up, i couldn't speak. mick: if i would have followed a treatment plan, i would not be in this situation. frank: it's a tough jouney. vo: lowering your high blood pressure could save you from a heart attack or stroke. if you've stopped your treatment plan, restart it or talk to your doctor about creating one that works better for you. start taking the right steps at manageyourbp.org frank: it's a new life but i'm going to make it better. i'm coming back. ask your doctor, check your blood pressure.
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or all of your headlines log
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onto foxnews.com. greg: they have pulled the campaign because it included champagne. trump the canon has apologize for posting promo most the content. oh my god, on social media after an on line mob said glorified alcoholism. the #take a moment tropicana and champagne suggested parents take a break from their hectic lives by enjoying a delicious mimosa. trump soviet is a relatable lighthearted joke and others that encourage people to do a stress by drinking in secret. which i do french women which is a sign of addiction. it's no laughing matter so tropicana apologized or trump apologized if you will. saying they were sorry for hurting anyone who was disappointed or offended and
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they value the criticism of corporations which means the next corporation will cave to and the mob wins again. what do you have to say for yourself member of the mob to rinse everything? mob the ruins everything? i wish i love something as much as that dog hates the mail. i don't even know what i just said. kat what do you make of this mimosa and controversy trying to put it together but i realize they can't do it. >> how is that grown adults getting drunk off of one mimosa?
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you can have the mimosa and be fine if you are someone who sees this orange juice commercial and they immediately lock yourself away from your children and get hammered i feel for you and i also don't think it was the commercial. i think you probably have something underlying and we can't joke about alcohol now? you can joke about anything. you can joke about anything. it alcohol can be a court. greg: joe it is unrealistic to have a refrigerator in your bathroom. >> it could be a warm mimosa i don't know. but you are either lying or you are stupid. it was making fun of how difficult was to be apparent and i don't know anything about that. what i don't like is how these companies are apologizing.
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i'd rather drink orange juice for a company who says hey don't the upset about everything. greg: exactly. i'm going to boycott orange juice companies that are humorless. where is anita bryant when we need her the most? have the people don't know what i'm talking about. i don't care tyrus. where do you stand on this? >> i am mad. it's a mimosa. it's like a tricycle of drinking bikes. now yeager meister or whiskey or tequila doing shots in the bathroom. maybe then. it took me the story to say it right. i had only seen women drinking them and being a fellow it's not like champagne orange juice
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who's been? and the people complaining didn't have kids. literally, it's so offensive. my wife owns a weight-loss company and people call in and they'll be like hey what do i have to do to lose weight? you have to eat less and be more active. they don't want the truth. they just want drama. it's what they do. it's unbelievable. don't answer the phone. greg: by the way the real outrage would be a child could crawl into that little refrigerator. there is no lock on it. they are worried that might tip off someone who is looking for a drink. >> you don't leave your supplies in the bathroom. you can carry a mimosa from the kitchen. only 20 feet away.
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>> it looks like orange juice when it's a mimosa. just tell the kid it's orange juice. >> don't touch mommy strength. >> you have to feel bad for these companies. hard for anyone to have brand loyalty for mimosa. i only drank tropicana mimosas. you also have to feel bad for them because the only way to get attention is to apologize. no one pays attention to you until you apologize. greg: i did as a monologue. it just made the rounds and now i want a mimosa. >> i would argue, take the fight back to these groups. greg: they see how easy it is to get somebody to knuckle under.
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>> we grew up on foster brooks. and otis the drunk on andy griff is. drunks were fun back then. greg: and stoned all the time while driving. you know what gets me they didn't have any comical heroines then. okay i'm going. they want me to shut up now. coming up, python. it's what's for dinner. since you're heading off to school, i got you this brita. dad... i just got a zerowater. but we've always used brita. it's two stage-filter... doesn't compare to zerowater's 5-stage. this meter shows how much stuff, or dissolved solids, gets left behind. our tap water is 220. brita? 110... seriously? but zerowater- let me guess. zero? yup, that's how i know it is the purest-tasting water.
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i need to find the receipt for that. oh yeah, you do.
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greg: is it safe to eat? florida of course great for scientists are investigating mercury pythons found in the everglades to see if they are safe to consume. it certainly could end up on
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restaurant menus across the state. it's part of a program to manage the python population. that's because the snakes are native to florida but they have been a growing problem. the 1980s tom and they pose a risk to native wildlife in the region like rabbits and raccoons. who cares about the records? for years the state wildlife commission has encouraged people to humanely kill pythons. i believe we have the typical python hunt tape. ♪ greg: oh my hard. that's where it came from you gorgeous couple. i even idea what you call the stuff that you put on a snake.
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anna condiment. >> i lived in florida for a while and i'm into the animal activist thing. this species thing is kind of the big deal but you want to eat python, great, go ahead. we eat everything else. we don't need a team of scientists to decide. i'm pretty sure for the floridians who hang out in the everglades there are no. they are now. they make great food and apparently it taste like chicken. the e alligator in everything else. but they tend to exaggerate to the one thing i noticed was they exaggerate. they will be like they are everywhere. we find one every six years. the pet shop stickers still on
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it from where they escaped. greg: my house was ratified year for the weekend could they were looking at me and i don't wear any clothing in my house. they were giving me that look. i think you call it the deer gaze. i don't need the mail deer gaze. >> there are judgments hold dear. greg: they are in great shape and i'm. >> i can't believe there's such a demand for eating exotic animals. anyone ever heard of the wuhan market? people want to eat bats now? it's the most obvious thing and i completely missed that. everybody's getting sick from a disease. let's start eating these cobras. maybe they don't have mercury levels. if you get a fever you can eat a
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python. >> i was just bad. >> i'm 100% on board for eating python. i can't go to the everglades right now. you will see my arms and my biceps. >> welcome to the gun show. greg: who wants to go to the everglades? never glades is what i call it. i'm on fire tonight. >> i've always thought of them as my friends. greg: really? you can't even pronounce them. >> i ate incorrectly mispronounced one species of lizard and this is the fifth time it's been brought up on the show. weekend mistakes and not have it be an issue.
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>> think of the kinds of meals you could have at the restaurant if python caught on but think about python skin. it's really long to do everybody can eat from the pythons skin. sour cream. >> the skin would be kind of tough. i would think the meat inside would be tender and. greg: may be. >> is going to be deep-fried. i don't have a gold statue as some of us do but if i had one here i would deep-fried it and i think we would say it's kind of delicious. greg: scary animals have gotten a free ride. we eat normal ones. we eat cattle because of their cute hides and we eat chickens because they are stupid but snakes are scary so we can't eat them?
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adam and eve they pretty much protected them. i read my bible. all right i'm going. something no show has ever done in the history of television. robinhood believes now is the time to do money.
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reliable network nationwide, now with 5g included. discover how to save up to $400 a year with shared data starting at $15 a month, or get the lowest price for one line of unlimited. come into your local xfinity store to make the most of your mobile experience. you can shop the latest phones, bring your own device, or trade in for extra savings. stop in or book an appointment to shop safely with peace of mind at your local xfinity store.
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greg: time once again you write i read as if we all make eggnog out of cow's blood. i will pick it out at the sheriffs have. he still doesn't know i took it from him. it's not a real sheriff, i think. i met him at a bar. everybody was in costume. >> read the mail greg. greg: this is from chris. what is the most for credible and demeaning job and don't say so so they have ever had? 20 extra points if you were a to pay for college. we don't need that kind of dope on the show. >> i do open for greg gutfeld. those are great jokes great, great to life jokes. i work in nursing homes. i was a rougher like hannity
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bragging about my blue-collar job. i repaired the roof and i dug their ditches. >> i used to clean cigarette stains off of drop ceilings. that was probably the worst. greg: that is pretty bad. what about you joe? >> in college i worked as a telemarketer. they fired me because i was too polite to the customers. greg: i wish i could have seen that happen. >> i gave you look for every answer. no i don't have any money flip to no, don't have any money. i would just say okay thank you. greg: that tight you a valuable lesson. don't want to be a telemarketer and you want to be something else. >> a year before he got the job on this show i headed gig and
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there was a youtube or launching the angry bird cupcakes are the cupcake shop so i had to wear and angry bird have that was very heavy. it was 45 pounds and dance around for all the children for a couple hundred dollars. there is debut on the internet somewhere. yeah and i did that for many many hours and i was very sore because it was a big head and it was sweaty and it smelled bad but the kids just loved it. greg: i'm sure there's some kind of the market for that. tyrus? >> i once was home for college and might friend had an easy job for me. to drive to california to bring a car from a guy selling to another guy. i pulled over for gas. i have to fill up the tank and i
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was filling it up and he said no more than half a tank. no more than half a tank campy more than half the tank. i said why? you will get killed if it's more than half the tank. their stuff in there. say what? there is stuff in the gas tank. so i didn't sleep the rest of the trip. and we are not friends any more. we are not friends anymore and at one point i said what is it? it isn't tied. does help me get through this. we aren't friends anymore. greg: it would be great if it was something totally legal. like bagels. >> why would you hide bagels in the gas tank? >> i had a job, and waddled
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soda. the only thing that was awful about that is it was minimum wage's $3.35 and i watched a guy bottle his thumb. his thumb came off in front of me put it was pretty disgusting but the worst job was one i didn't get. i interviewed for a job as ratcatcher in san mateo county. you have to set traps in the manhole. they didn't give me the job because i think my dad told them not to give it to me. i don't want my son being no ratcatcher. no son of mine is going to be a ratcatcher. state catchers don't like it. all right let's do another one. similar to that one. first concert at what was the first concert you went to? mine was in detroit in 1999.
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you are part of this conversation. you just ask your question you don't answer. >> i went to see the in pennsylvania. it's too bad once you get a reputation those guys are really talented. greg: they were the beatles times three. tom they were better than the beatles. >> they were all good singers. greg: they auditioned for their talent. >> cheap trick. my ears were ringing the next day. greg: i saw the police and seller back at the civic auditorium with pat travers opening. blue oyster cult whoa but then i saw the police and this little
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non-band called the neck and a pop singer guitarist. i talk too much tyrus. >> my first concert, my mother took me to bruce springsteen concert. i was listening to it and i was just sitting there and i thought you know he looks really familiar to me. when he was on the big screen i was like i looked at my mother and i looked back at the screen. is that the guy from the first time we move to california and she was like just watch the concert. i didn't really like the guy. she was pretty excited when she got to dance on the stage to dancing in the dark when i was a child. i think we have met before. i was on my way to get cap'n crunch in the morning and the
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guy looks like he needs a shave. cigarettes on the couch. it's greg: that is a great story. >> why did you take me hear? i sat there through the rest of the concert going this guy. thanks mom. how did you get these tickets again? greg: i know you can beat that story. maybe you can't. >> i've seen them several times. greg: also buried talented. my mom was like i don't want you going without me. 50 something years old. good thing you came with me. greg: that was a great viewer mail. the holidays are a time for giving. to your friends... your family... to your teachers.
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then that change can last within us. when we understand what's possible, we won't settle for less. the best thing we can be is striving to be at our best. managing heart failure starts now with understanding. call today or go online to understandheartfailure.com for a free heart failure handbook.
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greg: we are out of time.
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thanks tom, thanks joe kat and tyrus could i'm greg gutfeld and i love you america. here next y. happy new year, god bless. [♪] jesse: welcome to "watters' world," i'm jesse watters. a complacent country. we live in an enormous country. the third largest in the world. we sit between two oceans and clock in with the third largest population. over 300 million people. not everything affects us the same way. those of us who live in texas process things differently than those who live in hawaii. but there are things that happen to all of us that should make us angry. but many amerins

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