tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC October 31, 2016 10:35pm-11:37pm CDT
>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- kathy griffin. jacob tremblay. our 11th annual half and half halloween pageant. and music from alice cooper. and now, welcome to his nightmare -- here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ? >> jimmy: i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show.
if you're too cheap to buy a bowl of candy it's hide in the house with the lights off. i'm dressed as an eagle, american eagle. since the election is neck week our theme is halloween. it's america. it's not halloween -- it is halloween. guillermo what are you tonight? >> guillermo >> jimmy: the liberty bell? [ cheers and applause ] are you ringing right now? is that what's going on? >> trying to lose weight. >> jimmy: are you feeling amorous? i see. there's a big crack in the liberty bell. what happened? was the liberty bell drinking tequila before work? >> guillermo: yeah, you got that right. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yes, all right. a lot of people have been saying he's the taco bell, he is not,
mt. rushmore. [ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: thank you very much. >> dicky: our band leader cleto is uncle sam. captain america. jonathan, what are you? >> american flag. >> jimmy: you're the american flag, all right. [ cheers and applause ] the white house. what are you? >> apple pie. >> jimmy: oh, apple p and jeff our keyboard player is the constitution of the united states. [ cheers and applause ] a lot of work went into this. our word robe department was working on this since last halloween. i'd bring our costume designer out to take a bow but he's dead, he is died this morning. imagine what an amazing place america would be if we put as much time and effort as we do into our halloween costumes,
you know what the most popular halloween candy in america is? according to a survey of over 40,000 americans, kandy korn was the most popular halloween candy when they ended up state by state. reese's peanut butter cups got the most votes overall. reese's got the popular vote, kandy korn won the electoral college. [ laughter ] [ applause ] it's a weird way to do a survey. the bigger question is who the hell loves i mean, was this a survey of people with no teeth? in california the number one was life savers. which frankly made me embarrassed to live here. fine, life savers, like saying your favorite color is white. [ laughter ] in arizona, this is a strange one in arizona they favored halloween candy toblerone. that's when you know you have too many old people living in
are children trick-or-treating at duty-free shop a the airport? i haven't seen toblerone outside of that. the best halloween candy, the number one treat in all the world, this is not from a survey, this is according to me. can i get a drumroll? [ drumroll ] >> jimmy: thank you. the number one halloween candy in the world is blow pops. [ cheers and applause ] blow fight you to the dead, i swear to god. you get a lollipop, then once you're done with that, gum. blow pops are the candy that serve dessert at the end. speaking of candy. we started what has become perhaps the most cherished of all the halloween traditions in this country. the tradition in which parents choose trick over treat by
their halloween candy. we've done this for five years running and i'll be damned if we aren't doing it again this year. >> last night we ate all your candy. >> why? >> because it was good. >> you ruined my life! >> jimmy: in fairness, you ruined hers first. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: the kids have great reactions -- sometimes they'll even give you a lecture. >> i told you not to! i you can never, ever, ever listen about candy! >> jimmy: i guess this family runs into that issue a lot? [ laughter ] i don't know what's going on there. anyway, tomorrow morning is your last chance to participate, our sixth annual halloween youtube challenge, post it to youtube, hey jimmy kimmel i told my kids i ate all their halloween candy. be on the lookout for a message
you to respond to it, we'll put our favorites on the show tomorrow night. [ cheers and applause ] speaking of crying, the cubs lost two home games in the world series over the weekend. they beat the indians to force a game six in cleveland. [ cheers and applause ] the indians lead the series 3-2. last week we talked to the world's most emotional cubs fan, ryan slagle. there's ryan, he was on the news on the night the cubs won the nlcs, he was crying, he didn't everyone he knows made fun of him. we sent him to the game last night in chicago where he filed this exclusive in-stadium report. >> hey, jimmy, let's get some runs here. jamie, we're here in the bathroom line. we are up 3-1. we've got a runner on base. >> we're waiting our whole lives. >> we're so frustrating, waiting our whole lives. i can't take this, we're sick of it! come on cubs, let's go! >> jimmy: thanks, ryan. he didn't know any of those guys by the way. they just chimed in.
weekend. this is from the oklahoma state/west sla game saturday. brady quinn of fox sports made what some are calling the greatest first down measurement call of all-time. >> if this is short they no doubt would request they take another look. barely enough to keep this drive moving. that's a big play for west virginia. just the tip of the football. >> jimmy: oh, well. thanks for clarifying that. i thought something else was going on. that wasn't the only moment. patriots played the bills in buffalo. pay close attention to the object that wound up on the field here. all right, zoom right in. that is exactly what you think it is. [ laughter ] somebody smuggled it in. this is video from a fan shot shortly after the object touched down.
kids with mops to clean things up. in the nfl, that job goes to the referees. a new sport was invented right at that moment. someone send that man a new pair of cleats. oh by the way, while we're on that subject, hillary clinton hit a bump this weekend on the way to her victory parade courtesy of anthony weiner. the director of the fbi sent you know, a vague and mysterious letter to congress on friday in which he said they've discovered new e-mails that might be pertinent to the investigation of her use of a private e-mail server. the e-mails in question building to huma abedin, one of mrs. clinton's top advisers. she happened to be married to anthony weiner, until you know what happened. anyway, she was apparently on his computer, which who can blame her, i would go on his computer too. and sent e-mails that are now under review. the reason the fbi saw them is
investigation for allegedly sexting with an underaged girl, which it really is amazing that these stories have now merged into one. it's like the writers of the election decided to spice things up by throwing some penis in there, you know? the trump campaign, of course, is ecstatic. ratings on fox news skyrocketed friday when the story broke. we really don't know anything yet. but to see how closely people have been following this, we went on the street and asked people what they thought of the steamy e-mail hillary clinton and anthony weiner. as far as we know, there was no e-mail exchange between them. but did that stop people from weighing in? let's find out in tonight's "clinton/weiner lie witness news." >> are you a donald trump supporter? you weren't surprised to see that hillary clinton was engaged in steamy back and forth -- >> i was not, no. >> when you saw some of those exchanges what were your thoughts?
>> you saw the one where he writes, hello smiley devil face, it's a.w., i'd love to put my weiner in the hill of your beans right now. she writes back, let's slap mustard on that. he writes back ha ha. she says i'm serious, i love mustard. he says, i'll pick some up. did that surprise you when you first saw it? >> no. >> what were your thoughts when you saw their exchanges? he poses as carlos danger, her name is lolita lady bo itself. >> well, yes. you can clearly see that they were having an affair or something. yeah, you know. that's clear. >> when he writes to her, carlos writes, what's up, girl? and lolita lady boner writes back, kicking it. he writes, i thought your font would be smaller because you the fine print, ha. she says, damn you coining some [ bleep ]. he writes back i'm as horny as a [ bleep ]. she says, i hear that. were you surprised when you read that? >> it doesn't sound like her,
>> people have been talking about that exchange? >> i've heard it a time or two. >> anthony weiner's elderly beleaguered mother anita weiner came out in his defense, you saw that? do you feel sympathy for anita weiner? >> i feel sympathy for any mom who has a person in hare family who's totally off the hook with how they're acting. it's really embarrassing. >> would you like to say anything to anita weaner? say anything you'd like to anita weiner. >> anita, your pain, sometimes we all have kids that do things that are bad, but you know what, you're a mom and you've got to do what you feel is right. >> you've been where anita weiner is? >> sometimes, yeah. i think every mom's had a point where their kid's embarrassed them. >> every mom's anita weaner? >> yes. >> you saw the photos of anthony weeper? >> no. >> come on, it's fine.
>> it's fine. >> i did, i did, yeah. >> thank you for not lying. >> okay, cool. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we have to take a break. when we come back our 11th annual half and half halloween costume pageant with the surprise mystery celebrity too, stick around, we'll be right back! [ cheers and applause ] ? my mother passed 2003, but she always told me i don't care if you turn out to be a great athlete or whatever but, you need to make sure you get your college degree. sometimes i call the house, just to hear her voice. (phone ringing) answering machine: hi, leave a message after the beep. (beep) hey mom, this is larry. i just want to let you know that uh, i fulfilled the promise that you held me to. love you.
i'm hillary clinton and i approve this message. i could stand in the middle of
5th avenue and shoot somebody and i wouldn't lose any voters, okay? and you can tell them to go f**? themselves. you know you could see there was blood coming out of her eyes, blood coming out of her wherever. you gotta see this, i don't know, i don't remember. he's going like 'i don't remember.' says it won't let up for a while. the cadillac xt5... what should we do? ...tailored to you. wait it out. equipped with apple carplay compatibility. ? now during season's best, get this low mileage lease on this cadillac xt5
traditions at shoate. we take half of one costume and half of another costume and combine them to make one ridiculous hybrid costume. for instance, if you were to combine mylie cyrus with a cyclops, what would you get? >> i'm not sure. >> jimmy: does anyone know? what would you get? >> miley cyclops. >> jimmy: there we go, the u.p.s. guy has a brain in his head. here it is, our 11th annual half and half halloween costume. guillermo. i think i hear the doorbell ringing. oh, yes, i do. please let them in. >> guillermo: open the door. >> jimmy: feast your eyes on this. which i'm again going to go to the cow because you should certainly know this one. >> abe lincoln?
>> jimmy: absolutely correct, well done. thank you, male cow. i guess i was supposed to let him reveal that, all right. sorry, abe. all right. i think i hear the doorbell again. and here it is. open the doors and look at -- oh my goodness. now that's not so easy to figure do you have any idea to this is? >> i have no clue. >> jimmy: you know? >> it's a jon snow globe. >> jimmy: it is a jon snow globe. winter came and really never left. he's trapped in that bubble. thanks, jon snow globe. guillermo, do you hear rustling outside on our porch? >> guillermo: yeah. >> jimmy: yes, i do too.
ringing the bell, open the doors for them. and we have -- all right, now this one is very topical from this year. you know what it again too? how about you what do you think? >> harley queen of england. >> jimmy: close enough. what are you? >> i am harley queen elizabeth. >> jimmy: harley queen liz bet. see that? did you guys know >> not at all. >> jimmy: do you want to try to guess the next one? >> sure. >> jimmy: all right, here we go. guillermo? open the doors. this is some costume. all right, okay. so take a look. drink it in. what do you think we have there? doesn't look like a certain presidential candidate to you? >> who's that? >> jimmy: there are two people
>> hillary. trump hair. >> jimmy: well, no. you say you know it? >> i know it. that's hillary crouton. >> jimmy: is that hillary crouton? yes, it is! hillary crouton. it's a giant crouton, everybody. okay, all right. i didn't think the hillary part would be the hard part to figure out. maybe issue due to the size. imagine the size of that salad. all right. what's that i hear? yes, it's a doorbell. guillermo, who is at our door? oh! oh my goodness. isn't that adorable. anybody have a guess? no? nothing from you? trick-or-treater, tell us who you are.
>> jimmy: see that? he's a lamb. you see that? he's part alexander -- you get it, okay, all right i think i'm about to hear a doorbell. oh! wow. this is a familiar journeyman. this is one of the galaxy's most beloved stars. mr. george takai. does anyone have a guess as to george -- what character is george dressed? go ahead and say it.
and i'm very, very, very curious. oh, my. >> jimmy: oh, my indeed. curious george takei. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: and our final costume of the night -- is perhaps the greatest costume we've ever had. ladies and gentlemen, does anyone want to take a shot at this one? yes? >> kim bong-un. >> jimmy: tell us if that is correct, your excellency. >> kim bong-un. >> jimmy: well done. wow, look at that. thanks to all our trick-or-treaters. thanks to george takei. thanks to roddy and our wardrobe department.
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then later, his song is called "ledged." it's so hard to pick things up when you're a bird. it's alice cooper from the crown royal outdoor stage. tomorrow night jake gyllenhaal, hailee steinfeld, music from keith urban, and the results of our annual halloween candy youtube challenge. wednesday, is our special post-cma show with jessica chastain, willie nelson, justin moore, reba mcentire, a hunter hayes hologram and an all-country music edition of mean tweets. please join us for all of that. and more. our first guest is an emmy and grammy award-winning performer who could be grand marshal in any halloween parade she wanted to but she chose to be with us instead. her new book "kathy griffin's celebrity run-ins" comes out november 22nd.
[ cheers and applause ] ? >> jimmy: welcome, kathy, how are you? we've got two copies of your book now, that's exciting. >> oh, no. that's right, i have a book coming out, it's going to be so good i'll never work again. that's how juicy this book is. >> jimmy: this seems like the book you were born to write, a book of the terrible things you've gone to celebrities, terrible things you've said to them, terrible things they've said to you. >> possibly. >> jimmy: listed in alphabetical order, which is great. if you're a celebrity and worried about being in kathy's book, like i was -- >> i knew this was coming. >> you turn to the "k." you are quite relieved to see that you are not included. >> you are totally in there. >> jimmy: not by name. >> you better look again.
>> jimmy: it goes from anna kendrick to suge knight. i want to get to suge knight by the way. >> i wrote this book because i'm 55 years old. i'm a chick comic. i'm now that person that's almost met ebb. but a lot of people you wouldn't think i have met, like suge knight, or i call him "sooj." he has a terrific sense of humor. that was a close call. >> jimmy: where did you meet suge? obviously. >> jimmy: what was going on there. >> at kat's house? >> jimmy: what year? >> like six months ago. >> jimmy: no. >> before he sued -- he's on a staycation right now. >> jimmy: oh. like ankle bracelet type of thing? >> he's emotionally unavailable for the time being. >> jimmy: i see. >> i went to kat williams' house one night. i was trying to make kat laugh because i love him. when i saw suge i said, when are
your name probable? it's "sooj." he makes this the sound where he goes rrr. i got nervous. i wanted to push it. i said, i think you, sooj, need to spoon with me. i'm going to be little spoon, you be big spoon. he spooned me. i thought he might pulverize me and crush me. but i just kept pushing it and saying seeing, sooj, doesn't it feel better to have tenderness in your life? he had his arms around me, my boyfriend was terrified watching this. >> jimmy: yeah, sure, i would have went >> ditched me? >> jimmy: yeah. >> i think you would have felt better. suge said, this is okay but normally i like [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: what? [ laughter ] >> i felt that was an honest answer. >> jimmy: what? >> that is definitely an honest answer. >> jimmy: i live on the edge, james. i live on the edge. >> jimmy: is sugar knight the scariest person you've met? >> no, barbara walters. i'm almost sure barbara walters
i don't think she'll read it, she'll hear about it from cindy evans or somebody, she'll be livid. she'll say, i really wish you hadn't written those things about me, it was wildly unfair. but actually i kind of wrote a love letter to her so i'm curious to see who is upset. i want to just talk about this. i know you don't know how to ask me and i'm going to come out and say why you're not in the book. >> jimmy: you're going to say why? >> because look, i cover 120 celebrities. you know i love you. >> jimmy: thank you. >> it's not -- oh, god. i hate to use the word boring. it's the james -- [ laughter ] i put so much thought into it. i couldn't come up with one time that was slightly interesting. [ laughter ] i think i weaved you into my tupac shakur story, i'm not sure. >> jimmy: what's your tupac shakur story? >> i worked with him a whole day and i didn't think he could
book. for years -- okay. one time i was on this show roseanne barr hosted "saturday night special." it has this amazing cast. jennifer coolidge, laura ki kitelinger. roseanne's like, can we put tupac in a sketch? they put him in. then they kept reading his lines for him. i was fascinated to see if he was illiterate. i followed him going, how can you be this famous and be illiterate? he wasn't noticing me but the do-rag and the whole thing. i'd be like, ? a, b, c ? like trying to -- i don't know -- ice t, snoop was there -- i don't know if ice t was just being a butt. i'm sure he could read but it was almost like he couldn't read. >> jimmy: you say ice t? >> tupac i wasn't sure, ice t was reading for tupac. he was helping mill and i wasn't sure why. >> jimmy: that's really nice. that is really nice.
>> jimmy: in a way maybe he'd be like shakespeare, he's passed away so he's not really around to defend himself. >> that's yes put the story in. [ laughter ] you should here my biggie story. >> jimmy: these stories, do you write them down as you experience them? >> no, actually, they're all from memory. i wanted everyone to know i'm not some weirdo who tapes conversations. some of these stories are 25 years old, 20 years old, some they're all to the best of my recollection and my recollection is perfect. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: kathy griffin is here. this is her book, "celebrity run-ins." we'll be right back! [ cheers and applause ] ?
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redeem your free book. >> jimmy: oprah would just give them the books, i know. you're right, she totally would. >> jimmy: i'm on the page "jenner comma kendell." >> i call her candle. here's my philosophy on the kardashian records i am busy with the main three. i can't be dealing with candle and francine. i know the candle is your neighbor. that story is one of the many times she has tried to >> you heard me, don't stick up for her. i was leaving a party one time. she has a big like suv or whatever. she kept coming so perilously close to me i had to yell to random celebrities "this is it, candle jenner's trying to kill me." show peeled out so she got away with it that time. since she's your neighbor, be careful. >> jimmy: be careful? you live next door to like kim kardashian? >> and kanye. yes. >> jimmy: wow. >> what do you mean, wow?
>> i did once. >> jimmy: is that in here? >> no. >> jimmy: interesting. a little bit too close to home, perhaps, huh? wow. >> no, i think people thought it was kim but i ended up putting candle and mom kris who i call huggy bear. >> jimmy: huggy bear was a pimp, fyi. [ laughter ] >> in a good way. >> jimmy: speaking of moms has your mom read the book? >> my mother has not read this book but she finds it appalling and offensive. >> jimmy: for real? >> s anticipating. no one has read it who's in it. i did get the obligatory call from cher, what did you put about me in my book? should i know? maybe i shouldn't know. [ laughter ] swear to god, it's a love letter. she's like, i'm not up to this. >> jimmy: cher sounds like benji from "the howard stern show." [ laughter ] these are some of the working titles originally. the book was not originally called this.
gifford: the story of a woman who was not kathie lee gifford jooncht i feel that was very moving. >> a nod to your career in primetime television, "suddenly boozing." >> four years on nbc. >> jimmy: "kath-22." >> there's always a catch. >> jimmy: this is a good one, "make america gay again." [ cheers and applause ] finally, i don't know what this is. i hope to see this actually get made one day. >> that's the real me. >> jimmy: well, kathy, the book is a lot of fun. it's wonderful to see you. we'll give everyone in the audience these haunting kathy heads. [ cheers and applause ] go online, i don't know how to do it, but -- kathy griffin, "celebrity run-ins" comes out 22nd and see her live in l.a. at
wiltern theater. we'll be right back with jacob tremblay. [ cheers and applause ] ? simulation initiated. ? [beeping] take on any galaxy with a car that could stop for you. the new nissan rogue. rogue one: a star wars story. in theaters december 16th. i struggle with bipolar depression, and it's tough. it leaves me feeling sad and empty. it makes it hard to be there for the people i love. so i talked to my doctor and she prescribed latuda. there are many forms of depression.
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>> jimmy: still to come, music from alice cooper. our next guest made the ultimate sacrifice. he skipped trick-or-treating to be here tonight. you know him from the multi-award-winning movie "room," his latest thriller "shut in" opens november 11th. please welcome jacob tremblay! [ cheers and applause ] ? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you look good, wow. look at you, have you ever seen "top gun"? >> yes, i did. >> jimmy: when did you see it? >> well, my parents love, you
[ laughter ] movies from the '80. >> how old are your parents, do you know? >> i think my dad's 39. >> jimmy: oh my god, that's so old. >> and my mom -- i know, right? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's ridiculous. >> my mom's like -- >> jimmy: cherish them, you won't have them long. [ laughter ] >> wow. >> jimmy: how old do you think i am? what would you guess? >> 40? >> jimmy: thanks. yeah, that's right. [ laughter ] >> really? >> jimmy: well done. by the way, do you dress as not just tom cruise in "top gun," you were dressed as marty mcfly also. [ cheers and applause ] you love the '80s, i guess. >> yeah, i do. because my parents showed me lots of stuff from the '80s. i told you that earlier. >> jimmy: i heard you, i'm old, you know, i'm close to death, i told you that earlier also.
what's your name? [ laughter ] >> uh -- well -- >> maverick is your name, that's right. maverick. you're 10 years old. you just turned 10, right? >> yeah, october 5th. >> jimmy: happy birthday. [ cheers and applause ] did you have a fun party? i hope so. >> it was a really fun party. and the girl chased me around a whole time, i got a cramp. but my boyfriends, my friends, came to the rescue and saved me. >> jimmy: they did? this is a real event? scripts? [ laughter ] >> it actually happened. >> jimmy: actually happened, wow. how many girls and boys were at the party? >> i don't know. there was just a lot. because i invited my whole class. >> jimmy: oh, you did. you have to invite the whole class, right? you can't leave anybody out. >> don't leave anyone out. >> jimmy: were there certain people you would have left out if you were allowed to? >> no. >> jimmy: good answer. [ applause ] >> jimmy? >> jimmy: yes. >> i need to talk to you about something really serious. >> jimmy: really? >> uh-huh.
>> uh -- well, plug your ears, people. >> jimmy: what's the problem? >> okay. i need you to stop telling kids' parents to take their candy away. >> jimmy: oh. you don't like that, huh? >> yeah. >> jimmy: have your parents ever taken your candy away? >> no, but jimmy, it's not nice. ? i'm feeling intimidated right now. [ laughter ] >> you may not like candy, you but we love candy. >> jimmy: oh, i love candy, as a matter of fact. that's why i want to eat all of it. >> how would you feel if your wife came up to you one day and said, hey jimmy, i spent all your money! [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's a good point. >> you'd probably cry. you'd probably throw a tan actual. you might even swear a little bit. >> jimmy: what planet are you from?
you're not one of our human chirp, you're much too intelligent. i think you may have been sent here. >> i'm from planet canada. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you're in this scary movie now. >> it's scary. a psychological thriller. i mean, when i watched it, i had to cover my eyes the whole time, i barely got to watch the movie. >> jimmy: you were too scared of your own movie? >> well -- no. >> jimmy: are you allowed to see it you wouldn't be allowed to see it, right? >> they know who i am. [ laughter ] i'm allowed to see that movie. >> jimmy: i see, i gotcha. if you're in the movie it's okay. >> yeah. but when you're filming the movie, it's not that scary. because there's a bunch of cameramen all over the place. >> jimmy: right. >> you look in the corner, there's a guy eating a sandwich. >> jimmy: right. and that always makes everything better.
wince it's edited and there's scary music -- >> jimmy: all of a sudden it changes. i don't have any candy, i apologize. >> oh yeah. >> jimmy: i do have some cough drops. so there you go. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'll keep these for myself. jacob tremblay, everybody! "shut in" opens november 11th. we'll be right back with alice cooper! >> reporter: the "jimmy kimmel live" you by the new crown royal vanilla whiskey.
? i'm your top prime cut of meat i'm your choice i wanna be elected ? ? i'm your yankee doodle dandy in a gold rolls royce i wanna be elected kids want a savior ? ? don't need a fake i wanna be elected we're gonna rock to the rules that i make ? ? i wanna be elected elected why not me elected ? ? i'm your man
party, the wild party, though i know we have problems right here in hollywood, we have problems in san francisco, san jose, los angeles, all over california, and person alally -- i don't ca! we got to win this one take the country by storm. ? i wannabe elected ? ? you and me strong i wannabe elected ? ? elected ? i'm your man! ? elected ? i'm your voice! ? respected ?
this is "nightline." >> tonight, inside the final 30. girls' power. >> it's important to go to the places where your voice may matter. >> lena dunham on the trail chasing down voters for hillary clinton, now up against a new fbi e-mail investigation. >> there is no case here. >> feeling grateful. >> thank you, anthony weiner! >> but will it all matter to young voters in swing states like north carolina, where the contenders are in a dead heat? plus, these political impersonators have voters seeing double. >> where you from? >> spain. >> i love spain. >> celebrities like katy perry and kelly ripa jumping into the imitation game. brave costume.