tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC May 31, 2011 9:30pm-10:00pm PDT
>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live" game night. tonight -- mike tyson's tattoo review. jimmy talks to kids about basketball. and pop-a-shot with blake griffin. and now jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi there, it's me. thank you for watching our annual primetime game night special. i'm jimmy. tonight, game one of the nba finals between the miami heat and the dallas mavericks. and fans of both teams are fired up, i'll tell you. this is the scene in miami, where pandemonium meets metamucil. [ laughter ] and tonight, not a hip will go
unbroken. by the way, this is the first year the finals will be decided by audience voting. first, the teams will play, and then the winner will be determined by a combination of the final score and text messaging, so don't forget to vote. [ laughter ] both thehe h and the heat made short work of their opponents in the conference finals. this has been a dream come true for lebron james and a nightmare for his former fans in cleveland, ohio. lebron has been called an ingrate, a traitor. i heard someone call him poopy-pants, which i thought seemed weird. [ laughter ] and in dallas, meanwhile, the german giant, dirk nowitzki. for years, he's carried this team despite overwhelming whiteness and the complete absence of any tattoos of any kind. [ laughter ] almost every player in the nba
has a tattoo. and not just one. lots of tattoos. every day, the nba is looki everandr., the nba is looki [r and one of my etto belongs to mavericks guard deshawn stevenson, who has abraham lind on hist he's got the most honest adam's apple in the league. [ laughter ] back in october, deshawn had a get-together for his te at his housbro tattoo artist w sorry, mom. [ laughter ] but deshaw he called the event team-building oh, a bunch of guys getting t t doea team-buile. s [ laughter anyway, at the tattoo p ent na w nba title this year, he gote larry o'brien cha hs bi which is -- thas --w,
you really have you off again. [ laughter ] and by the way, that's not the only tattoo he got earlier this year. let's see, he got -- you can see here, he got "scotty mccreery winsol.' [ laught although that one is timeless. [ cheers and applaue ] i don't really -- i understand m.derstand of pthem of pthem ,thveryr so tonight we turn h anything else. his name is "iron mike" tyson, and tonight, he g tattoo review. ♪ everybody come with me you won't believe your eyes ♪ ♪ so turn ♪ everybody's ready to party [ cheers and applause ] >> oh, oh. welcome back to "tattoo time with mike tyson." i'm mike tyson. let's talk about tattoos together. wow. lebron james, the chosen one.
he chose wrong. that's a bad tattoo. it should be on his chest. it's tough to see a tattoo on your back, especi have a je have a je next. chris "the bird man" andersen. i don't know what he ike. a psychedelic t or look at him. next is marquis daniels. it looks like he has a mapquest on his ba pth of oh, man, this guy w be wonderful to have around if you get lost ift. oh, no, "tattoo time" is up until next time, i'ike bye ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: what can't he do? hey, we have a battle on tap tonight of epic proportions. last year, we introduced you to a busboy named ricardo. ricardo buses tables at a local restaurant here in l.a. called barney's beanery. and during his breaks, he plays pop-a-shot. now, we put him against a who's who of nba all-stars --
carmelo anthony, lamar odom. he faced them all. he conquered every one of them. it wasn't even close, but tonight, he faces his toughest test yet -- nba rookie of the year from the l.a. clippers, blake griffin, the slam-dunk champion. [ cheers and applause ] this time, ricardo will be shooting baskets blindfolded, because the clippers haven't been humiliated enough. [ laughter ] we have an exciting show for you tonight. right now, we have webcams humming in the homes of a miami fan and a dallas fan for our first-ever "game night" scavenger hunt. vo: meet erika. she hasn't shopped for a new pc because...
erika: ... my computer is the same as a new computer. vo: so to show her what she's missing, we built a pc store in her house. erika: (gasp) employee: come on in. make yourself at home! erika: this is my home! employee: let's take a look! erika: (lifting laptop) it's really light. honey, help me shop! employee: you can get up to seven hours on this battery. jesse: the color really pops out. employee: everything's wireless. wireless keyboard. jesse: that's impressive. i like this one better. erika: and i like this one... vo: new pc. what's it gonna be? erika: i'm a pc, and i got what i wanted. jesse: as usual.
>> jimmy: welcome back to our game-on "game night" special. whether it is before or after the game where you are, it really makes no difference to me. tonight, we're going to pit a mavericks fan against a miami fan for a scavenger hunt inside their own homes. busboy ricardo returns to take on blake griffin of the l.a. clippers in our pop-a-shot challenge. and this year, he's going to be shooting blindfolded. and, we're going to hit him in the head with a shovel to make it even, too. [ laughter ] we have a new show at our regular time, later tonight, with carson daly, flavor flav, and music from i see stars, so stay up for that. you know, it's easy to forget, with all the analysts and the multimillion-dollar contracts and pregnancies out of wedlock. but the game of basketball is just that -- a game. and when it comes to games, who knows more than kids? so, this afternoon, i found a kid, and we sat down to talk basketball. >> jimmy kimmel and the kids. starring the pied piper of television, jimmy kimmel -- and kids! >> jimmy: what's your name? >> james. >> jimmy: that's my name, too. hello.
how old are you? >> 4. >> jimmy: 4 years old? >> uh-huh. >> jimmy: how come you're shaking my hand so long? >> i don't know. >> jimmy: oh, i don't know why either. it's kind of weird, isn't it? >> yeah. >> jimmy: i mean, usually, you just shake it, like, once or twice, and then you stop, but you keep going. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i wonder when this will end. you know? it's weird, right? >> yeah. >> jimmy: yeah, but it's okay. it's not that bad, right? >> yeah. >> jimmy: mm-hmm. it's very nice to meet you. >> thanks. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: do you like basketball? >> yeah. >> jimmy: do you play basketball? >> no, not really. >> jimmy: not really. what do you and your friends like to do? >> mmm, playing basketball. >> jimmy: oh, you like to play basketball? >> yeah. >> jimmy: oh, okay. so, you do play basketball? >> yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. because earlier you said, "not really" and it threw me off. >> yeah. >> jimmy: let me ask you some basketball things. do you know what a basketball is? >> yeah. >> jimmy: mm-hmm. you eat it, right? >> uh-huh. >> jimmy: yeah?
who's your favorite basketball team? >> um, kobe bryant. >> jimmy: you like kobe bryant? >> yeah. >> jimmy: do you know what team he's on? >> yeah. >> jimmy: which one? >> i'm going to choose the kobe bryant. >> jimmy: the kobe bryants? >> uh-huh. >> jimmy: mm-hmm, okay. you know what a dunk is? >> yeah. >> jimmy: what is it? >> a horsey. >> jimmy: a horse? >> uh-huh. >> jimmy: okay, that's right. do you know what traveling is? >> when you're in a ferrari. >> jimmy: going in a ferrari? pretty cool, right? >> yeah. >> jimmy: you're pretty cool. >> i know. >> jimmy: are you the coolest kid around? >> yeah. >> jimmy: yeah? what does "cool" mean? >> that you're going to show up. >> jimmy: that you're going to show up? >> uh-huh. >> jimmy: yeah? >> yeah. >> jimmy: huh. i thought it meant something else. >> no. >> jimmy: are you married? >> no, not yet. >> jimmy: not yet? you have someone in mind? >> yeah. >> jimmy: there's a girl you want to marry? >> yes. >> jimmy: what's her name? >> sophie. >> jimmy: sophie? >> yeah. >> jimmy: does she know you want to marry her? >> yeah. >> jimmy: she does? >> mm-hmm. >> jimmy: does she know how cool you are? >> yeah. >> jimmy: because you're always there on time, right? >> yeah. >> jimmy: you show up. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and when do you think
you're going to marry her? how old will you be? >> um, when i'm 13. >> jimmy: 13? how old will she be, 13? >> she's going to be 14. >> jimmy: oh, 14, okay. and will you have kids? >> yeah. >> jimmy: how many? >> five. >> jimmy: that's a lot of kids. >> mm-hmm. >> jimmy: you know what you're gonna name them? >> yeah. >> jimmy: what are you going to name them? >> charlie. >> jimmy: charlie? what else? >> charlie bryant. >> jimmy: okay, charlie, charlie bryant. what else? >> kobe bryant. >> jimmy: charlie, charlie bryant, kobe bryant. what else? >> um, kobe. >> jimmy: kobe, okay. charlie, charlie bryant, kobe bryant, and kobe. and what else? >> and kobe bryant. >> jimmy: and kobe bryant. okay, so, we're going to have charlie, charlie bryant, kobe, and two kobe bryants? >> yeah. >> jimmy: how will we know which one is which? >> um, i don't know, because -- because we always show up. >> jimmy: you know what, 99% of it is showing up. >> i know. >> jimmy: nice to meet you. really great meeting you.
>> thanks. >> jimmy: give sophie my best, okay? >> yeah. >> jimmy: you're such a cute couple. >> thanks. >> jimmy: thanks for showing up. >> welcome. [ applause and laughter ] >> jimmy: how come you're still shaking my hand? >> i don't know. >> jimmy: could go on forever. >> yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: very cool dude. thank you, james. hey, still to come, a scavenger hunt in your house, and busboy ricardo goes blindfolded in an all-star pop-a-shot-off with clippers superstar blake griffin. we'll be right back. [ bell rings ] agents, let's welcome beast, an exchange student from the x-men school. - so, what do you guys study? - um-- - do you know about discounts? - do you have a cafeteria? - what about ways to save people money? - do you have taco tuesdays? - have you guys started combining policies? - i like your hair. agents, please. i don't know what the x-men do at their school, but i hope they're treating our guy better than we're treating beast.
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>> jimmy: welcome back to our "game night" special. still to come, busboy ricardo, blindfolded, versus blake griffin in our pop-a-shot challenge. but, first, another challenge -- a challenge of an entirely different type. get your webcams ready for a special nba "game night" skype scavenger hunt. [ cheers and applause ] our first contestant is a stay at home mom from boca raton, florida, and a major miami heat fan. please welcome mary alfieri. hello, mary. [ cheers and applause ] >> hey. >> jimmy: where are you, a living room? >> yeah. >> jimmy: hey, who is your favorite player on the heat? >> i would have to say dwyane wade. >> jimmy: dwyane wade? and do you know how to spell dwyane's first name?
>> d-w-a-y-n-e. [ buzzer ] >> jimmy: oh, no. that's a bad start. it's d-w-y-a-n-e. >> oh, no. >> jimmy: yeah, that's okay. it's ridiculous. [ laughter ] our next contestant, let's meet him. he works for the ut-arlington alumni association. he's a big mavericks fan. he's from arlington, texas. zack kulesz. hello, zack. [ cheers and applause ] zack, do you -- do you know how to spell dwyane wade's first name? >> yes, it's f-o-u-l. >> jimmy: oh. [ laughter ] very clever. all right. have you met mary yet, zack? >> oh, yeah, we go way back. >> jimmy: let's put her on the screen there, so you guys can be side by side. can you see each other right now? >> i can. >> jimmy: all right, zack and mary. by the way, wasn't "zack and mary make a porno" a seth rogen movie? [ laughter ] all right. all right, zack and mary, are you ready to play the game? >> yes. >> jimmy: it's a simple game. it's a scavenger hunt. i will name an item. your job is to find that item
and bring it back to me as fast as you can with no help. i see you got the kids in the background there. >> yeah, my girls are here. >> jimmy: okay, they have to sit perfectly still, because zack does not have any girls, as far as i know. [ laughter ] and let's begin. round one goes to whomever comes back first with a picture of your parent or parents. picture of your parent or parents. here they go. and -- bonus points if they're naked. there they go. okay, what have we here? [ cheers and applause ] hold it up close to the screen. that's not the picture that came with the frame? [ laughter ] >> no, this is -- >> jimmy: yeah, i imagine those are your -- parents at the bottom. and, zack, you don't even have a picture of your parents in your house? [ laughter ] >> they're going to be so mad at me. >> jimmy: they are. i'm sure you've disappointed them before. [ laughter ] all right, next item -- your chance to get even here, zack.
round two goes to the contestant that brings back the most embarrassing book in the house. i will determine which is most embarrassing. all right. this should be good. zack's got a lot of mavericks stuff there. all right, so, we're looking for, like, maybe snooki's autobiography or -- all right, what do you have there, zack? tell us -- read the title, because we can't see it that well. >> okay, this is nicholas sparks. "true believer." i believe it's a beautiful love story. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: all right, mary, what do you have there? >> i have "say goodbye to whining, complaining, and bad attitudes...in your kids!" >> jimmy: how do the kids like that book, by the way? >> they're not listening. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: they're busy whining. i'm going to have to call that a tie, though i do like that picture you got there, zack. well, you know what, i'm going to give it to zack, because he's -- hold up that back cover again. oh, yeah.
any book written by a guy in a sweater is nothing to be proud of. all right, the final challenge -- the tie-breaking challenge -- i would like you to run to your bedroom, strip the sheets off your bed, and come back dressed as a ghost. and don't forget the eye holes. all right, go! all right. here they go. the eye holes are really important in this particular situation. you realize now we're just staring at a couple of empty rooms, but -- all right, now, now have we here. let's see. they're both -- wait a minute. it's not -- hold on a second. anyway -- you look like you're wearing a burka, mary. those are not -- >> i am lebanese.
>> jimmy: by the way, who has red sheets? what kind of a whorehouse are you living in? zack -- zack, it looks like you're wearing a giant pair of underpants on your head. [ laughter ] >> jimmy, this is my impression of the ghostface drilla, dirk nowitzki. >> jimmy: well, you're looking good, i'll tell you. all right, well, we're going to have to give this to zack. he's got the holes. he's looking out the holes. zack, congratulations. i know you're a big fan. how would you like tickets to the nba finals? would you like to go to one of the games? >> yeah! >> jimmy: yeah, all right. and, mary, you're not gonna go away empty-handed. for you, we're going to send you a new pair of sheets. set of sheets. >> okay. >> jimmy: we're going to send you a new set of sheets and they're going to be a normal color, okay? >> i have red sheets because i'm a heat fan. >> jimmy: all right, thanks, guys. we appreciate your playing. >> the mavericks! >> jimmy: miami versus dallas. we'll be right back for red-hot pop-a-shot action, busboy ricardo versus blake griffin,
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restaurant here in l.a. he is the greatest pop-a-shot player i have ever seen. last year, ricardo battled some of the best. lebron james -- he beat him. charles barkley -- he beat him. kobe bryant -- he beat him. ricardo conquered them all. but tonight he faces maybe the most electrifying player in basketball. we go now to the great marv albert for introductions. marv? >> thanks, j.k. hello, america. i'm marv albert, and it is time once again for the "jimmy kimmel live" pop-a-shot challenge. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> oh, sorry. >> let's meet tonight's competitors. first, at 6'10", 250 pounds, an nba all-star and rookie of the year from the los angeles clippers, here is blake griffin. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. oh, sorry, sorry.
>> and now -- and for me, this is a very emotional moment -- at 5'7", 148 pounds, he is a full-time busboy at local watering hole barney's beanery. he is the crown prince of pop-a-shot. here is ricardo the busboy. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: wow! this is unbelievable! hello, ricardo, cousin sal. your opponent, blake griffin. say hello. last year, ricardo crushed the competition. this year, to give the nba players a fighting chance, ricardo will be shooting blindfolded. that's right. cousin sal, secure the blindfold. ricardo, can you see anything? >> nothing, jimmy. >> jimmy: blake, can you see anything? >> a little bit. >> jimmy: you can? all right.
[ laughter ] let's have a jump ball now to find out who gets to shoot first. >> all right, fellas, on three, jump. one, two, three! >> jimmy: and blake wins the jump. >> blake will jump. >> all right, ricardo, over here. >> jimmy: here we go. [ applause ] >> begin! >> jimmy: blake griffin, one of the great players in the nba. nba rookie of the year. he's already racking up points. he's got 10 points. he's got 12, he's got 14, he's got 16. he's got a huge -- his hands are almost in the ring. when he's -- [ laughter ] oh, blake is going to make this very difficult for ricardo. >> closed off in three, two, one! >> jimmy: 57 points. >> 57 points for blake griffin! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: wow. 57 points. very nicely done.
that is the score to beat. ricardo, the machine is over here. >> that was pretty good shooting, blake. >> how many i get? what did i get? >> jimmy: you got 57 points. you've done this before, i see. that is the number to beat. >> ready, ricardo? 30 seconds. [ whistle blows ] >> jimmy: and here we go. ricardo. and there, even not seeing. but he can feel. he can feel the ball going to the rim. he has got 12 points. 14, now 15, 18. he's on a roll now. 30, 33. 36. he is a machine. 48 points. and ricardo wins it! [ cheers and applause ] america's busboy does it again! ricardo! how do you feel right now, ricardo? >> happy, jimmy. >> jimmy: wow. and you should be happy. congratulations.
once again, you have conquered the nba's finest. let's go over to guillermo now in the loser's locker room. guillermo? >> my friend, why didn't you get any more shots? >> i -- i don't know. my wrist started hurting towards the end, so i just kind of whatever. >> well, that was not good. thank you. back to you, jimmy. >> jimmy: thank you, guillermo. well, the good news for blake griffin, it will only be very embarrassing for a very long time. thank you, blake. thank you, ricardo. back to you, marv. >> well, there you have it, america. another impressive victory by ricardo. for "jimmy kimmel live" game night, i'm marv albert, and i'm going home. >> jimmy: all right, well, that's all the time we have. my thanks to mike tyson, blake griffin, marv albert, zack, mary, and ricardo the busboy. thank you for watching. our next "game night" special is thursday night, before or after game two of the nba finals, depending on your time zone. join us later tonight at our regular time for a new show with carson daly, flavor flav, and music from i see stars. thanks for watching. good night.