Skip to main content

tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  July 22, 2013 11:35pm-12:36am PDT

11:35 pm
>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- kevin bacon, from "the bridge," diane kruger and music from the bacon brothers with cleto and the cletones. and now, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you very much. i'm jimmy. i'm host of the show. thank you for watching.
11:36 pm
thank you for -- i see your enthusiasm. thank you. did you know -- not sure if you're aware of this, but -- [ cheers and applause ] this week. this week is national nude recreation week. that's right. it is nude recreation week, also known as put a towel down before you sit week. it is an annual event created by a group called the naturists society 38 years ago. national nude recreation week is a powerful reminder that the human body is disgusting. and with a few notable exceptions should be covered at all times. apparently there are nude art shows, beach parties. there's canuding, which is naked canoeing. the event is sponsored by the american association of nude recreation. this is an actual association. and this is their actual president. i'm not kidding. that's a real -- that's the publicity shot. [ cheers and applause ]
11:37 pm
i tell you, you think you don't like to visit your grandmother. like the worst jennifer convertibles ad ever. but having nude recreation week, i will not be participating this year. i have a very strict policy. if you want to see me naked, you have to pay. speaking of naked, disgraced former new york governor eliot spitzer is back. he is re-entering politics by running for new york city comptroller. some people thought his political career was over five years ago when it was revealed he was employing a small army of prostitutes to tend to his nether regions. but those people were mistaken because new yorkers are a tough but forgiving bunch. >> hitting the hot campaign trail in union square today, former governor eliot spitzer was swarmed by the media. >> what about your family? >> heckled by critics. >> eliot, you're a disgrace to new york state. >> and forgiven by fans. >> give him a shot, yo. everybody likes women. women like women. >> jimmy: well, he does have a
11:38 pm
point. [ cheers and applause ] hire that guy and put him in charge of bumper stickers or something. it's a good slogan. i'm delighted to announce that we're less than a week away from the triumphant return of the twinkie. [ cheers and applause ] the twinkie will rise again on july 15th. and that's great news because without twinkies how are people supposed to know they're making bad decisions at gas stations at 2:00 a.m.? hostess is claiming these will be new and improved twinkies. twinkies used to have a shelf life of 26 days. now they will last for 45 days. i'm going to go out on a limb and say that most people buying twinkies are too high to hold on to them for 45 days. i'd be impressed with 45 minutes, to be honest. the return of twinkies could not have come at a better time because according to a new report from the united nations the united states is no longer, we are no longer the fattest major country in the world. [ cheers and applause ]
11:39 pm
you happy? this is what happens when you take paula deen off the air. you know what the new most obese country of the world is? our neighbor to the south, mexico. that's right. every since they started to put zippers on their pinatas they've really been packing on the pounds. 70% of mexico's adult population is overweight. almost 33% are considered obese. i have an idea, maybe don't refry the beans. it seems like frying them once is -- right? so now we are fat but mexico is fatter. if canada ever gets fat, the continent could sink right into the ocean. guillermo, are you proud of mexico for this? >> no. >> jimmy: you're not. you have lost a few pounds lately, right? >> yes. 20 pounds. >> jimmy: i don't believe that for a second. really? 20 pounds? >> yes. >> jimmy: this morning, guillermo tweeted the following. he said, "i love natural juices.
11:40 pm
they are doing a great job for my body." i didn't know sunny d was a natural juice. what are like the three top things these juices are doing for your body? >> well, they made me full, so i don't have to eat junk food. >> jimmy: are they fruit or vegetable juices? >> no, vegetable. >> jimmy: okay. >> i feel better. i have more energy. >> jimmy: okay. very good. you can't argue with the results. i never had a vegetable margarita before. you'll have to mix one up for me. >> one day. >> jimmy: this is pretty good. a lot of times when celebrities throw out the first pitch at a baseball game it goes badly. but that was not the case at a baseball game in south korea this weekend. an olympic gymnast names shin su ji was asked to throw out the first pitch and boy, did she. >> [ speaking foreign language ].
11:41 pm
>> oh. whoa. >> jimmy: pretty good, right? i'd like to see a whole team of that. you know, being able to do something like that is a rare gift and i wanted to find a way to illustrate just how rare it is. so i sent guillermo to the baseball diamond across the street today to try to replicate that first pitch. [ laughter ] isn't that great? close. try it one more time. [ applause ] [ laughter ] >> perfecto! >> jimmy: perfecto. is "perfecto" spanish for terrible? >> no. perfect. >> jimmy: remember, folks, it's not too late to cast your ballot to send guillermo to the major league all-star baseball game.
11:42 pm
over in london, the country is buzzing about the impending birth of princess kate and prince william's baby. the due date is saturday. the duchess is scheduled to give birth at st. mary's hospital there. and our friends at abc world news are on the scene. >> the lindo wing where kate is due to give birth any minute now. i just want to show you how much interest there is in this royal baby. take a look at this media poised for that historic moment. >> jimmy: there must be one, two, three guys out there. i hope no one gets trampled. [ applause ] here's a strange story out of florida, where most strange stories are born. state lawmakers have just learned that they may have accidentally banned all computers and smartphones in the state of florida. back in april the governor signed a bill into law that was meant to crack down on online gambling. one of the items banned was electronic gambling devices which it turns out could mean smartphones, tablets, and computers. you can gamble on them electronically, which means
11:43 pm
technically they're electronic gambling devices, which means phones and computers are now illegal in the state of florida. and while you think people would be upset by this, some politicians are actually embracing it and trying to use to sway elderly voters. >> floridians are tired. we're tired of computers that you can't even figure out how to open up the internet window thing because you get your name wrong. and what's this button on the bottom for? i try to call my son but he never answers the phone. he's busy with that wife of his. and have you seen these phones? they're worse than the computers. touch this, swipe that. bluetooth. what's wrong with the old kind that you could dial and talk to a person? a white person. florida doesn't need a lot of new-fangled gadgets. this november join congressman bob janklow to say know to thingamajigs, and give florida what they really need. bird feeders. >> bob janklow, bird feeders, not thingamajigs.
11:44 pm
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: seems reasonable. this is funny. this is -- this is a former mitt romney campaign office in tennessee. they had a bunch of left-over t-shirts from the election last year. so instead of just throwing them away, they donated them to a village in kenya. and there they are in their new clothes. it seems like they realize this is funny, right? look how excited this kid is. do you think they know we're sending them all of our loser t-shirts all the time? either way obama is going to be furious when he gets home and sees this. in colorado the police were puzzled by a mysterious crime last week after a 16-year-old boy dressed as batman broke into a building at the colorado state fair and stole two tvs, a laptop, and an empty cash register. the reason we know the kid was dressed as batman is because
11:45 pm
they got him on security camera. i think what i like most about this picture is he took the time to put on an entire batman costume, covering every part of his body except his face. [ applause ] there is one difference. in this version of the batman story batman's parents killed themselves. the batman burglar got so much attention on the local news, the kid ended up turning himself in. he was charged with second-degree burglary, criminal mischief, and having the lamest batman costume in the history of the state of colorado. there's a big tv event that's coming up on thursday. maybe you've heard about it. i'm excited about it. the syfy channel is premiering a movie called "sharknado." it's a movie about tornadoes with sharks in them. i believe daniel day-lewis is playing one of the -- i don't know. maybe he's playing a shark or a tornado. i'm not sure which. syfy channel loves making movies about sharks. they had "malibu shark attack" a few years ago. "mega shark versus giant shark."
11:46 pm
"sharktopus and now "sharknado." they get big ratings, what seems to get the best ratings on cable lately are sharks and the bible. so it only makes sense that the producers would bring them together for this incredible television event. >> a spiritual leader who would change history. a vicious predator out for human blood. one would heal, the other would kill, but only one would survive. "shark versus jesus," only on spike. >> jimmy: i'm rooting for jesus. [ cheers and applause ] we're going to take a break. when we come back, i have some questions for kids. and they have some answers for me too. plus kevin bacon, diane kruger, and music from the bacon brothers. [ cheers and applause ] in your busy day,
11:47 pm
the last thing you need is white marks. ♪ secret outlast clear gel goes on clear with 48 hour odor protection. to outlast your day...any day. secret outlast clear gel. land of the free and home of the mouth-watering ball park to outlastfrank...y...any day. made with 100% angus beef... and just a dash of democracy. ball park franks. so american you can taste it.
11:48 pm
[ female announcer ] only aveeno daily moisturizing lotion has an active naturals oat formula that creates a moisture reserve so skin can replenish itself. aveeno® naturally beautiful results. [ male announcer ] yep, there's 8 layers of whole grain fiber in those mini-wheats® biscuits... to help keep you full... ♪ 45 bushels of wheat on the farm. 45 bushels of wheat! ♪ ...all morning long. there's a big breakfast... [ mini ] yeehaw! ...in those fun little biscuits. a trillion billion zillion! that's pretty big. how bout you? 10. ok...how bout you? infinity! can you top that? infinity and one! actually, we are looking for infinity plus infinity. sorry. what about infinity times infinity?! oh! [ imitates explosion ] [ male announcer ] it's not complicated. bigger is better. and at&t has the nation's largest 4g network. ♪ and at&t has the nation's largest 4g network. you're gonna need this.
11:49 pm
thrilling adventure heroic performance the ford summer spectacular sales event featuring blockbuster deals he's the best chance we've got. now during the ford summer spectacular, get a blockbuster deal... with $1000 matching down bonus cash. now playing at a ford dealer near you. [ yowls ] ♪ ♪ [ music, indistinct talking on tv ] you're eating all the ammo, sir. remember your training. your whole life has been leading to this moment. [ blows ] [ woman shrieks ] ♪
11:50 pm
11:51 pm
>> jimmy: welcome back to the show. i predict that kevin bacon, diane kruger and the bacon brothers are in your future. let me tell you something about me. it said -- i believe in one thing, and it's that children are our future. which who wouldn't believe in that, by the way? of course they're our future. we'll die and they'll still be here. no one should ever be arguing about that. but from time to time i like to sit a group of young people down to find out what they think about some extremely important questions. unfortunately, i couldn't think of any important questions. so i asked them some dumb stuff and here is what they had to say. >> jimmy: who is the richest person in the world? >> a pirate. >> jimmy: a pirate? why a pirate?
11:52 pm
>> because they have a lot of gold. >> jimmy: that's true. who is the richest person in the world? >> the presidents. >> jimmy: the presidents? how much do the presidents make? >> at least a thousand a month. >> jimmy: thousand? yeah, they make 12 grand a year. >> the actor of batman. >> jimmy: the actor of batman. do you know his name? >> yeah. bruce wayne. >> jimmy: who is the richest person in the world? >> john bethlehem. >> jimmy: who is that? >> i think one of the ones in the bible times. >> jimmy: john bethlehem? he's the one they named the city after? >> yeah. >> jimmy: part of the bethlehem family. >> yes. >> jimmy: who is the richest person in the world? >> i would say my uncle. >> jimmy: your uncle? why is he so rich? >> because he buys me stuff that is like lots of money.
11:53 pm
>> jimmy: really? like what kind of stuff does he buy you? >> like an ipad. >> jimmy: an ipad? and you must love him more than any of your other relatives, right? >> mm-hmm. >> jimmy: so you'd say he's so rich he was able to buy your love? >> yeah. >> jimmy: why does it hurt when you cut yourself when you get a cut, but it doesn't hurt when you cut your hair? >> because the skin has more blood than the hair. >> jimmy: that's true. could you imagine if when we cut our hair blood came out of it? it would be so gross, right? >> yeah. and funny. >> jimmy: and funny. >> sometimes we don't remember. >> jimmy: sometimes we don't remember? like when? like when we're drunk? >> when it's -- it's friday. >> jimmy: when it's friday? you're saying that is why it doesn't hurt when we cut our hair? >> yeah. >> jimmy: interesting. >> when people cut your hair you
11:54 pm
just have to stay calm. and just hope this is someone you can trust in when they cut your hair. >> jimmy: you have to put a lot of trust in that person when they have a pair of scissors near your hair. yeah. right. they'll cut your hair right off. cut your nose off if you're not careful. near your hair, yeah, they will cut your hair or nose right off if you're not careful. >> yeah. >> jimmy: why does it hurt when you cut yourself but it doesn't hurt when you cut your hair? >> uhhhhhhhhhhh, i don't know. >> jimmy: can i please shave your head? >> no. can i shave your head? >> jimmy: but if i shave your head, then i'll shave your head. >> that doesn't make any sense. >> jimmy: what do you mean it doesn't make any sense? >> you said i shave -- >> jimmy: no. you said you wanted me to shave your head and i said i'd shave your head. >> no, i don't want you to -- >> jimmy: can we roll back the tape?
11:55 pm
can i please shave your head? >> yes. >> jimmy: yes, you did say you wanted me to shave your head. >> no! you! >> jimmy: can i get some scissors and a shaver, please? now this is getting weird. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: they're our future, you know. no arguing with that. we have a good show tonight. from the new show "the bridge" diane kruger is here with us. we have music tonight from the bacon brothers. and we'll be right back with one of them, kevin bacon. so stick around. marjorie... i can't stand you! you're too perfect. even the inside of your dishwasher sparkles. ok, so i'm the bad guy for being clean? you said it! you know, you... bababababa ladies! let's not fight dirty.
11:56 pm
hi, cascade kitchen counselor. see, over time... new cascade platinum's triple cleaning formula delivers brilliant shine that finish gel can't beat. it even helps keep your dishwasher sparkling. new cascade platinum is cascade's best. you choose two seasonal favorites starting at $10.99. like a blackened sirloin with the wedge salad or lemon shrimp fettuccine and... [ male announcer ] you had us at $10.99. really? fist bump. [ male announcer ] applebee's new take two menu. two seasonal favorites, one amazing plate. see you tomorrow. [ male announcer ] it's a golden opportunity to discover a hybrid from the luxury car company that understands that one type of hybrid
11:57 pm
isn't right for everyone. come to the lexus golden opportunity sales event and choose from one of five lexus hybrids that's right for you, including the lexus es and ct hybrids. ♪ this is the pursuit of perfection.
11:58 pm
11:59 pm
12:00 am
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi there, and welcome back. tonight on the program, she has a new show called "the bridge" which premieres tomorrow night on fx. diane kruger is here with us tonight. and this album is called "philadelphia road: the best of the bacon brothers." the bacon brothers will play for us from the sony stage. tomorrow night, oh, we'll have another kevin tomorrow night.
12:01 am
kevin nealon will be here. b. jordan will be with us. we'll have music from karmin. and the great todd rundgren will be sitting in with the cletones. so that will be good fun. and on thursday jeff bridges, jeff lewis from bravo, and music from capital city. join us then. our first guest tonight is a talented and award-winning actor who in the 1980s fought to guarantee our inalienable right to dance. we owe him so much. his new movie "ripd" opens in theaters one week from friday. and his -- oh, i just showed his album. it's called "philadelphia road: the best of the bacon brothers." please welcome kevin bacon! [ cheers and applause ] how's it going? >> hi there.
12:02 am
thank you very much. >> jimmy: i hope i don't embarrass you by saying, this but happy birthday. it was your birthday yesterday. >> yeah, riding the double nickels, baby. >> jimmy: 55. >> yep. >> jimmy: i would never get you're 55. you honestly look much younger than that. >> the finest surgeons in beverly hills are working around the clock. i have them on call. >> jimmy: did you have a party? >> we had a small kind of dinner. my wife spent a lot of time in the kitchen yesterday, trying to find the caterer's number. >> jimmy: i see. i'm glad you mentioned that. your wife, kyra sedgwick, who's the greatest. >> she always comes up, doesn't she? >> jimmy: she's a delightful person. >> i think so too. >> jimmy: but you are not. because while your wife was in the emergency room -- >> i'm so sorry. >> jimmy: -- you were very busy snapping photographs of her and posting them on twitter. >> yeah. >> jimmy: what happened? she's got a bloody finger here. >> you know, in case people are not really aware of this, you really can screw up on twitter.
12:03 am
>> jimmy: yeah, you can. and it happens like that. >> it happens like that. >> jimmy: and there's no putting that genie back in the bottle. >> it's gone. it's gone. >> jimmy: although she does seem to be okay. she does seem to be enjoying the -- that's quite a -- that's a cartoonish bandage. what happened? >> it's like looney tunes. >> jimmy: it's like one of mickey mouse's fingers. "hey. watch the knife." >> you know, for some reason -- i don't know how kale made its way into our lives. but it just seems like -- is anybody else experiencing that? >> jimmy: kale is riding a huge wave right now. >> it is. is this going to be in history known as the age of kale? so we started eating. and especially my wife, she cannot get through a day without kale. a day without kale is like a day without sunshine for her. >> jimmy: wow. >> so we're doing a lot of chopping. because you've got to chop that stuff up. and i actually chopped my finger pretty badly. and i was you know, kind of trying to man up.
12:04 am
and she's like, no, dude, you're going to the hospital. and when i got to the doctor he said yeah, you should be here, because it's hanging off and you need stitches and the whole thing. >> jimmy: it's one of the signs. >> it is. it's a good indication. about -- about a week ago mine's all healed up. and we're getting ready to have dinner and she's chopping away and she's like oh, i chopped it off. and so -- so -- >> jimmy: when you hear that sentence, you really probably hope it's her finger. right? [ cheers and applause ] if you're waking up at that moment. >> yeah, yeah, you got -- anyway -- >> jimmy: she took it very well. >> yeah, she took it well. she's a tough cookie. i said okay, so we're going. we're going to the hospital now. and my brother-in-law is there, sifting through the kale, trying
12:05 am
to find whatever -- yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: did he find it? >> no, he didn't find it. >> jimmy: oh. >> truth is we do have dogs. >> jimmy: oh. yes. >> is this too gross right now? >> jimmy: no, no. >> but you know, the thing is that they -- we didn't know how much of it was gone. and it's -- there's really not -- it's really okay. and it was mostly -- mostly nail and whatever. and you know -- i wasn't thinking i thought, well, you know this is a hard thing. it's scary when you go to the hospital and they're asking you all these questions and stuff. what religion are you? >> jimmy: are you circumcised? it seems extraneous. >> it does seem extraneous. i was just trying to lighten the mood. i was like honey, let me take a shot.
12:06 am
can i tweet it? and she said okay. but i got in trouble. >> jimmy: people thought you were being insensitive. >> they thought it was a bloody overshare. >> jimmy: now, this is something you tweeted as well. and i have to know the story here. i grew up in las vegas. i don't know if you're aware of that. >> i am aware of that. >> jimmy: this is a photograph. that's a young kevin bacon, lee liberace, and matt damon. [ cheers and applause ] the three of you. >> it's amazing. matt has not aged a day. he looks great. >> jimmy: how did this happen? >> okay so -- >> jimmy: you were chopping kale. >> after i saw that amazing movie "behind the candelabra" with matt and michael douglas, who were both incredible in that, i remembered, you know, having met him and dug up this photograph. and the whole thing sort of came back to me. that was around the time when -- i don't remember that much. but --
12:07 am
>> jimmy: you went to see his show? >> i went to see his show at radio city music hall. and i got a call from somebody saying liberace is a giant kevin bacon fan and would really like you to be there at the opening night. and it's black tie. in this case i was in white -- a horrible white tux. >> jimmy: yeah, you were in a white tux. you look good. >> oh, my god. i look wrecked. >> jimmy: it looks like axel rose's wedding. >> i know. it's bad. so i said okay, well, i'll go. you know, this is going to be an interesting kind of cultural event. you know, i didn't really know the music that well, but i thought it would be good. and it was amazing. he comes out in rolls-royces and he's got the mink coats. he's playing his ass off and the candelabra's there and everything. anyway, the show ends and somebody comes up to me and says lee is very excited about meeting you, can you please come
12:08 am
backstage? we get backstage and someone says, "oh, liberace, mr. liberace, kevin bacon's here." he goes, "oh, hello, keith. so nice to meet you." he had no idea who i was. >> jimmy: that was a bummer. >> yeah. i was bummed. >> jimmy: although, maybe that probably was for the best. your life could have turned out very differently. you could have been tweeting photos of liberace from the emergency room. >> that's true. that's true. >> jimmy: kevin bacon is here. we'll be right back. why no other mouthwash nouncer ] r feels like listerine®? because no other mouthwash works like listerine®. in your mouth, bacteria forms in layers. listerine® penetrates these layers deeper than other mouthwashes, killing bacteria all the way down to the bottom layer. so for a cleaner, healthier mouth, go with the mouthwash dentists recommend more than all others combined. #1 dentist recommended listerine®... power to your mouth™.
12:09 am
land of the free and home of the mouth-watering ball park lifrank...... made with 100% angus beef... and just a dash of democracy. ball park franks. so american you can taste it.
12:10 am
[ male announcer ] we all deserve a good night's sleep. thankfully, there's zzzquil. it's not for colds, it's not for pain, it's just for sleep. ♪ because sleep is a beautiful thing™. ♪ zzzquil. the non-habit forming sleep-aid from the makers of nyquil®. zzzquil. olive garden's 2 for $25 is ending soon. choose two appetizers, two entrees and unlimited salad and breadsticks. when you go olive garden. and now get your exclusive buy one entree, get one ½ off coupon at olivegarden.com/offer
12:11 am
♪ [ gasps ] a little more to the left. we're trying our best, sir. maybe the round one. ♪ [ crunch ] you're not very good at this are you? fire all four. are you serious? i'm waiting. make it rain. ♪ bullseye. four flavors. four shapes. new cheetos mix ups. why let erectile dysfunction get in your way? talk to your doctor about viagra. ask if your heart is healthy enough for sex. do not take viagra if you take nitrates for chest pain; it may cause an unsafe drop in blood pressure. side effects include headache, flushing,
12:12 am
upset stomach, and abnormal vision. to avoid long-term injury, seek immediate medical help for an erection lasting more than four hours. stop taking viagra and call your doctor right away, if you experience a sudden decrease or loss in vision or hearing. this is the age of taking action. viagra. talk to your doctor. causing dark marks to become visible. dove has the effective solution. dove® cleartone™ anti-perspirant with calendula and sunflower seed extracts. it moisturizes to help accelerate natural skin renewal processes helping skin to repair itself while still keeping you dry. the result? underarms with visibly reduced dark marks and an even tone. try dove cleartone for beautiful underarms.
12:13 am
12:14 am
>> motivating words, how about we don't get shot today? >> that's great advice. you're a good cop. >> detective hayes advises we should not get shot. and also everybody should wear charm bracelets. >> that's my grandmother's st. christopher medal, jackass. >> adorable. >> i wear it for protection. >> protection? >> it stops you from getting dates. >> jimmy: that is kevin bacon. and ryan reynolds. [ cheers and applause ] what is the idea behind the movie? we learned a little bit about it from mary-louise parker. >> yeah. it's about a police force of dead people. and they're called the rest in peace department because what happens is souls that are kind of on their way to wherever they're going to end up sometimes escape and they come back and they live on earth and
12:15 am
they look like you and me but they're actually called deados. and the rest in peace department are the guys who have to go down and find them and bust them and send them back up to judgment. >> jimmy: are you a dead cop or an alive cop? >> yeah, i'm an alive cop. i'm ryan's partner before he gets it. >> jimmy: had you worked with jeff bridges before? >> no, i hadn't worked with jeff bridges. >> jimmy: you might be the only one you hadn't worked with. >> he is the only one, yeah. now i've worked with everybody. >> jimmy: i get the idea the more i learn about jeff, i get the idea "the big lebowski" was a documentary. >> well, i don't know about that. but i can tell you that jeff is one of those guys that is like talented to like an annoying degree. i mean, he is a great singer and songwriter and guitar player. >> jimmy: yeah. >> he is an incredible illustrator, artist. >> jimmy: yes, i've seen his drawings. they're really good. >> they're amazing.
12:16 am
his -- i have a drawing that he did for me. his photography is also just brilliant. he's got this beautiful panoramic camera that he uses. and he just does so many things well. and he's really -- it was great to get a chance to work with him and watch him work. and you know, every actor has their own sort of like process. some people are super serious and they have to kind of stay in character all the time and they're always that person. other people break it off. jeff's thing is really interesting. he does these really strange things in between takes. i'll give you some examples. one is playing guitar. that's not so strange. sits around, plays, sings old everly brothers tunes, things like that. second one is i don't know if you're familiar with this game pass the pigs. >> no. >> he's really fond of this game. at first i thought it was a joke at my expense, being a bacon and
12:17 am
all. >> jimmy: being a cop too. >> you have these rubber pigs and you roll them and they stand on their hoses or on each other. and you try -- it's kind of like a dice game. you know. he's got -- whatever you call, the director's chairs. you know, they have the actor's names on the back. but in front of jeff is a little table with a pass the pig set. and we play like constantly. >> jimmy: does somebody win? is there any money involved? >> no, there is no money involved. you win, it's like yeah, okay. pass the pigs. >> jimmy: i think he is going to be here on thursday. well, thank you for being here, always great to see you, happy birthday again. >> thank you. >> jimmy: "r.i.p.d." is the name of the movie. it opens in theaters on friday. and a little bit later in the show the bacon brothers will be here. we'll be right back. ♪
12:18 am
♪ ♪
12:19 am
♪ every day, more photos are taken with the iphone than any other camera. no. mom, check it out! energy drinks. no. hey mom! dare me to do a back-flip? no. 1, 2, 3, 4! no! it's rated for class five white water. no! whooooooo! no, no! no, huh? yes! [ male announcer ] in a world filled with "no", it's nice to finally say "yes". oscar mayer selects hot dogs, no artificial preservatives and gluten free. it's yes food. it's oscar mayer.
12:20 am
[ male announcer ] yep, there's 8 layers of whole grain fiber in those mini-wheats® biscuits... to help keep you full... ♪ 45 bushels of wheat on the farm. 45 bushels of wheat! ♪ ...all morning long. there's a big breakfast... [ mini ] yeehaw! ...in those fun little biscuits. with venus and olay. olay moisture bars help lock in moisture for less dryness while five blades get venus close. revealing smooth. and goddess skin begins. only from venus and olay. revealing smooth. and goddess skin begins.
12:21 am
even when you don't now yhave time for a break break with new kit kat minis. poppable, bite-sized minis that let you make break time anytime. you choose two seasonal favorites starting at $10.99. like a blackened sirloin with the wedge salad or lemon shrimp fettuccine and... [ male announcer ] you had us at $10.99. really? fist bump. [ male announcer ] applebee's new take two menu. two seasonal favorites, one amazing plate. see you tomorrow. ♪ [ male announcer ] it's a golden opportunity to discover the heart-pounding exhilaration beyond the engineering. ♪ come to the golden opportunity sales event
12:22 am
to experience the precision handling of the lexus performance vehicles, including the gs and all-new is. ♪ this is the pursuit of perfection. [ cheers and applause ]
12:23 am
>> jimmy: hi there. welcome back. our next guest was imported from germany. in fact, we got her in a trade for david hasselhoff. you know her from the movies "national treasure" and "inglorious basterds." her new tv show is called "the bridge." it premiered on fx at 10:00 p.m. tomorrow night. please welcome diane kruger. [ cheers and applause ] you're from germany, huh? >> i am, born and raised. >> jimmy: and yet you have almost no accent. >> i try, i try. it's been many years. >> jimmy: in "inglourious basterds" you had to speak -- >> with a german accent. >> jimmy: with a german accent. it was no problem for you at all. >> well, actually, it did. i was trying to get this job, and quentin tarantino did not believe i was from germany. i had to fly there to prove i had a passport.
12:24 am
>> jimmy: do people not believe him that much? >> i know. he was a little paranoid. >> jimmy: you had to fly to germany to prove -- >> yes. hello. >> jimmy: by the way, why does that prove it to him? anyone can fly to germany. >> it's just so crazy, our business, because you spend years trying to lose an accent and finally comes a part that's actually naturally your accent and they say no, too american. >> jimmy: well, we have an english superman now. you know, all hell has broken loose here. >> i know. >> jimmy: i hope you don't mind me saying this, but germans, it seems from our perspective, have unusual taste when it comes to american musicians. for instance, david hasselhoff, whom i mentioned. >> that's true. >> jimmy: is inexplicably popular for his singing over there. >> very true. very true. >> jimmy: and you have an affinity for -- >> well, not so much david hasselhoff. but i will admit that when i was very young i had a huge crush on
12:25 am
don johnson. and i continue to do so. not for -- you would think "miami vice." >> jimmy: yeah. >> but he made an album, which you may not know. >> jimmy: i remember it. "heartbeat," right? was that one of the songs? or was that the title of the album? >> i don't remember. i remember one song because it was my first kiss at 13 years old in the trailer park where we spent our vacation. >> jimmy: you made out with don johnson at 13 years old in a trailer park? >> i would have liked to have made out with don johnson. but no, some boy, i can't remember his name. anyway. but don johnson has this -- you know, to me is like still to this day. and so quentin tarantino, coming back to quentin tarantino, one day was doing his next movie -- >> jimmy: so he knew this story? >> well, because he was shooting with him. he said diane, i'm going to be shooting with don johnson. i said don johnson, i love him. he said, well, i'm shooting in louisiana. he was doing a movie in baton rouge. and he said, come and meet him. i said i can't, i literally --
12:26 am
probably i'd lose -- i can't. so i don't go. and now cut to six months later. and now we're at the vanity fair party after the oscars, and i'm standing with quentin and christoph waltz. and quentin goes look who's here. and i turn around and it's don johnson with his wife. and i immediately start crying. >> jimmy: that -- >> no, but like really, i had a few too many, let's be honest. >> jimmy: right. >> but it was so embarrassing, i was like oh, my god, you're don johnson, i have your -- i love you for your song and i have it on my phone and here it is on my phone and can i play it for you. and he's so embarrassed and his wife is so embarrassed for me. my boyfriend is like diane, you really -- you need to stop talking. "no, but i love you." >> jimmy: this is a photograph from that moment. and you really are -- [ cheers and applause ] it looks almost like a dui mug
12:27 am
shot. wow. >> it's so embarrassing. and he actually had to say i'm walking away now. >> jimmy: your boyfriend is josh jackson, very nice guy. he's -- well, we know him from "fringe" and "dawson's creek." now, does he go back to germany with you? >> he has. i am from a very small village in germany. so i don't usually bring boys back unless they're somewhat serious. so when i did bring him back eventually -- >> jimmy: oh, you did bring him back. so we're giving him a message right now. i was getting uncomfortable. >> he came back about six months into us dating. and my mom, who does not speak english, it's a tradition in germany when you come home to have coffee and cake. it's very german. so i prepped him. i said you have to have cake, you have to have coffee, even if you don't like it.
12:28 am
he has ayr nut allergy. it had almonds in it. i was like, you're eating it. and he was doing very well. i thought he was doing so well. and then my mom goes "oh, wait" -- i'll do the ak sentd for your benefit because she was translating for me. "wait, i have something for you." so she goes into the office and comes back with this plasticized folder of internet clippings of josh with his mug shot. and she thought it would be cute to go -- so i see you have been arrested in 1997 at a hockey game. whose fault was it? >> jimmy: really? >> and i'm like -- you can imagine, i was like -- we were there for three days. we did not speak for two. >> jimmy: oh, wow. i would have went right out the window. wow. >> it was not good. >> jimmy: well, you know what? you teach your mom a lesson and never visit her again. >> that's what i threatened. for sure. >> jimmy: so this new television show, this is based on a show that was popular -- that is popular in europe. >> yeah, it was.
12:29 am
it was called "brawn," which also means the bridge, and we set it in the mexican/american border, el paso and juarez. and i play detective sonya cross from the el paso p.d., who has asperger's. >> oh. >> and so we find this body dead center of the bridge of the americas. and i have to work with my mexican colleague, who's played by damian bashir to try to solve this crime. >> jimmy: oh, because the body is on the border -- >> dead center. >> jimmy: how about that? the story of solomon. you just split it in half. >> i know. it's both of our problems. >> jimmy: very nice to meet you. give my best to your mother as well. diane kruger, everybody. "the bridge" premieres tomorrow night 10:00. we'll be right back with the bacon brothers. ♪ >> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy kimmel
12:30 am
letting you know that on august 1st bud light is hosting the ultimate music festival by putting a stage in every state. they call it 50-51, 50 shows in 50 states all on one day featuring artists like miguel, ludacris, and dierks bentley. have you heard about this, guillermo? >> yes, jimmy. in fact, my band is playing in it. >> jimmy: you're in a band? >> yes. >> jimmy: what bapd are you in? >> it's called estomago inferno. >> jimmy: what does estomago mean? >> stomach. >> jimmy: oh, stomach inferno. >> yes. and here are some of my albums. >> jimmy: you have albums? >> yes. >> jimmy: well, let's look at them. oh, yeah. that looks familiar. uh-huh. >> that's me in the water. >> jimmy: oh, look at that. wow. oh, that's -- what year was this? >> in the '80s. >> jimmy: in the '80s. >> yes. >> jimmy: oh, and this is -- what is this? >> this is my latest album,
12:31 am
jimmy, called rockamole. it drops next week. >> jimmy: well, i will be sure to buy a turntable and listen to all of this very soon. >> rock on, jimmy. and to all my fans, don't ever stop rocking! yeah! >> read about how to see a show near and you check out the live stream on august 1st. visit budlight.com/musicfirst.
12:32 am
12:33 am
jrnt their new album is called "philadelphia road." here with the song "new year's day," the bacon brothers! ♪ ♪ never should have listened to that friend of mine ♪ ♪ he said the work was here and the girls were fine ♪ ♪ but all i do is wait in line ♪ to be told that i'm not right ♪ ♪ never should have climbed the rockies in my lousy car ♪ ♪ go 3,000 miles to chase this star ♪ ♪ i've got to save my money and tend this bar ♪ ♪ to get in that eastbound
12:34 am
flight ♪ ♪ don't want to waste another day in l.a. in the land of the endless summer ♪ ♪ sometimes it seems these california dreams are just one long bummer ♪ ♪ and i was born the son of a mummer ♪ ♪ and i'm gonna keep on keep on waiting on new year's day ♪ ♪ i'll be up all night making body heat ♪ ♪ walk my golden slippers down to two streets ♪ ♪ and don't that glockenspiel sound sweet in the january air ♪ ♪ i'm gonna raise my glass to the first sunrise ♪ ♪ dance and strut with all my guys ♪ ♪ i gotta kiss the girl
12:35 am
♪ with the ice blue eyes ♪ confetti in her hair ♪ i gotta be there ♪ oh, don't want to waste another day in l.a. in the land of the endless summer ♪ ♪ sometimes it seems these california dreams are just one long bummer ♪ ♪ and i was born the son of a mummer ♪ ♪ i'm gonna keep on keep on ♪ waiting on new year's day ♪ here we stand at your door like we did the year before ♪ ♪ give us whiskey give us gin open up and let us in ♪ ♪ here we stand at your door like we did the year before ♪ ♪ give us whiskey give us gin ♪ don't want to waste

69 Views

info Stream Only

Uploaded by TV Archive on