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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  January 13, 2014 11:35pm-12:38am PST

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>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight, kevin costner, harry connick, jr. "i-witness news - the bachelor edition." and music from michael kiwanuka. with cleto and the cletones. and now, most definitely, here's jimmy kimmel! and now, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thanks for coming. thank you for watching. [ cheers and applause ] thank you for coming to visit.
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[ cheers and applause ] i don't want -- i don't want the cops to know what's going on in here. so we have to be cool. [ laughter ] i'll be honest. i'm a mess tonight. i have an ear infection, which i had to have cut out with a knife this morning before work. i woke up with a cold today. and yet here i stand before you because your entertainment is more important to me -- [ cheers and applause ] some call me an american hero. [ laughter ] others just go with american. [ laughter ] i have mixed feelings about people coming to work sick. on one hand i admire their dedication. it would be easier to stay home. but on the other hand, get the hell away from me is all i can think. [ laughter ] the best is when you come into work and you get sent home immediately. that's like -- i mean, you hit it on both ends there. what percentage of people who say "don't worry, i'm not contagious," do you think are contagious? like 85? guillermo, you know if anything happens to me you have to host
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the show right? [ laughter ] >> right. >> jimmy: oh, guillermo's got a big jug of purell for our guests tonight. [ cheers and applause ] use that wisely. you know it says alcohol in it. but do not drink it. >> okay. i won't drink it. >> jimmy: i wouldn't want you doing purello shots here on the show. last night on nbc the 71st annual golden globes. it was, i have to say, unbelievable how much of this show was spent watching people try to get to the stage. some of the winners are still making their way to the stage. [ laughter ] for those of you who don't make a havt watching these award shows, the golden globes are like the oscars and the emmys combined. if there was booze and every third winner made you go, huh? [ laughter ] jacqueline bissett, for instance. i'll tell you something. it's a bad sign when the orchestra has to play two songs to get you off the stage. [ laughter ] she went on for a while about nothing -- if there's one lesson we learned from watching last night's golden globe awards
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it's write a speech. it's not that difficult. you just -- you compliment the nominees you beat. you talk about how honored you are to have been included among them. you thank your agent. you thank your parents. thank harvey weinstein. thank your spouse. tell your kids to go to bed. and then go back to your table and drink. it's as simple as that. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i'll put that in pamphlet form if you need it. the big movie winners were amy adams, cate blanchett, leonardo dicaprio, and matthew mcconaughey for his role in "dallas buyers club." matthew mcconaughey in his acceptance speech did a brilliant impersonation of matthew mcconaughey. [ laughter ] i won 20 bucks. i bet that if matthew mcconaughey won this is how he'd start the speech. >> aaaaah. all right, all right, all right. >> jimmy: like riding a bike. [ applause ] you know at a show like this or
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any show really where celebrities give each other awards it's easy to lose sight of what really matters, and what really matters is that matt damon lost. [ laughter ] [ applause ] he made out with an old man and has nothing to show for it. [ laughter ] while we're on the subject of bad things happening to bad people, alex rodriguez of the new york yankees had a rough weekend for using performance-enhancing drugs and trying to obstruct the investigation. he's being suspended 162 games without pay. and those are baseball games. think about how long one baseball game is. multiply that by 162. we're going to be living on mars by the time a-rod can play again. [ laughter ] a-rod's suspension is the longest doping penalty in the history of baseball. so another record for a-rod. what a career he's had. [ laughter ] between a-rod and dennis rodman this has been a bad week for people with "rod" in their names. the nfl season's down to four
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teams. the seattle seahawks, san francisco 49ers, denver broncos and new england patriots who beat the indianapolis colts on sunday. for some reason nba legend charles barkley was in the patriots' locker room after the game. i think he's a friend of the owner's. either way, he believes patriots fans have been spoiled by how well the team is run. >> i'm impressed with the patriots organization. they've won so many people and y'all take winning for granted. y'all do. when bill's brother jeff leaves and tom brady leaves y'all can't go [ bleep ] this up. [ applause ] >> jimmy: i think that's the opposite of a pep talk. [ laughter ] toronto mayor rob ford reared his chubby head this weekend. he was spotted at a toronto
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nightclub on saturday, where he posed for photographs like this one, in which he is -- by the way, it was 30 degrees in toronto on saturday night. [ laughter ] how could he be sweating that much? [ laughter ] hold on tight, ladies. he's slippery. that's not how you're supposed to make it rain. it's supposed to -- [ laughter ] we have to get him on "dancing with the stars." we just have to. and while mayor ford was on his best behavior, another notorious canadian treasure was not. justin bieber is now a suspect after his neighbor's house was pelted by eggs. the owner of the house on his block said he heard something hitting the side of the house around 7:30 on thursday night. he claims that when he and his 13-year-old daughter went out on the balcony to check it out they saw justin bieber throwing eggs at them. at this point you'd think justin bieber wakes up in the morning and asks himself, how can i make my manager's life a living hell
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today? [ laughter ] so the guy grabs his cell phone and recorded this exchange that he claims is between him and justin bieber. >> i see you. i [ bleep ] see you. >> [ bleep ] you. >> hey, [ bleep ] you. >> i've got another one for you after this. >> yeah, come right over here you [ bleep ]. call the cops. oh, that's real good buddy. yeah, you're a big [ bleep ] man, aren't you? >> oh my god. >> you're a big [ bleep ] man. come back over here you little bitch. >> hi. i'd like to place an assault. >> jimmy: imagine being a 13-year-old girl and your dad makes you call the police on justin bieber. [ laughter ] that's a difficult -- that's a tough spot to be in. [ cheers and applause ] according to tmz the egg throwing incident caused $20,000 in damage. which i don't know was the
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house made of gingerbread? how do you -- if the damage exceeds $950 it becomes a felony vandalism charge, which is serious. it would mean justin bieber could go to jail. i hope that doesn't happen. first of all the video evidence is inconclusive. you don't actually see justin throwing eggs. i'm sorry, but does this look like a kid who would throw eggs at a neighbor's house? [ laughter ] the important lesson is this. don't egg your neighbor's house when they're home. [ laughter ] the obama administration is hard at work trying to reverse course on the troubled website they've officially cut ties with the company that built the site. cgi federal is the name of the company. and they signed a contract with a new one. all health care will be sold through itunes now. [ applause ] the truth is they signed a contract yesterday with a company called accenture. this is one of those companies i see advertising for mostly at airports but i don't know exactly what they do.
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but if their tv commercial is any indication, i think they might be the right company to get this job. they have a reputation for exactly this kind of work. and i mean exactly. >> building applications for today's highly distributed network computing environments can be a challenge. it's easy to [ bleep ] things up. and when things get [ bleep ] up, accenture can help you get them un[ bleep ]. our proprietary algorithms are capable of taking care of even the most [ bleep ] system efficient l. getting you back to where you were before you [ bleep ] things up in the first place. accenture. getting [ bleep ] un[ bleep ]. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we're going to take a break. when we come back i'll take you through every essential detail of tonight's episode of "the bachelor." not only that, we're going to send the bachelor himself, juan pablo, out on the street to ask unsuspecting pedestrians what they think about "the bachelor." plus, kevin costner, harry connick jr., and music from
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back. music from michael kiwanuka coming up. earlier tonight on abc an all new episode of "the bachelor." the second episode of the season and they still haven't revealed which of the female contestants is secretly a guy. so keep watching. [ laughter ] bachelor juan pablo has his work cut out for him this season. he has the tricky assignment of deciding which women are there to find true love and which are there to just get back at their dads. tonight he whittled his flock down to 15. he went on what they call a
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group date tonight with 13 of the bachelorettes. that's not a date. that's a book club. [ laughter ] the group date did not go well for a young lady named victoria who seemed to be drunk. another contestant tried to help her get it together, but according to victoria she was not drunk, she did not need help. >> okay? >> why? >> i think everyone thinks you're a little hammered and crazy right now. >> i'm not. i just got here. i'm not hammered. >> okay. that's fine. >> i had one glass of champagne. >> good. >> this is how i am sober. >> just want me so pablo time. all the time. >> i'm just fun sober. and juan pablo seems to love fun. >> if juan pablo happens to be mine, i'm going to show him every day. i love straddling people.
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>> i believe gandhi said that. [ laughter ] they should just send her straight to the bachelor pad, right? what victoria was talking about was something that happened during the group date. she was dressed as a lifeguard and during a photo shoot pretended to save juan pablo using a resuscitation technique i had not heard of before. >> juan pablo is my boyfriend. >> i gave him the heimann maneuver. i saved his life. i should totally get a rose for that. >> everyone's like oh you straddled juan pablo? like victoria if you do the hyman maneuver when somebody's like laying down and dying you're going to have to straddle them. >> yeah. the hymen maneuver. what they do in the fantasy suite. now i wish i'd gone to medical school.
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[ laughter ] juan pablo ended up eliminating victoria for being drunk. but since when are we eliminating people from reality shows for being drunk? [ laughter ] i never thought i'd say this but i miss jersey shore. it's hard to believe but while we are all very well acquainted with every nook and cranny of juan pablo, not everyone is. so i thought it would be fun to do a twist on one of our popular segments. we sent juan pablo himself out onto hollywood boulevard today to ask pedestrians what they think of the new bachelor without, of course revealing that he is the new bachelor. and the people of hollywood were as honest as ever in tonight's special juan pablo edition of "i-witness news." >> so what do you think about the show "the bachelor"? >> it's idiotic. >> "the bachelor"? >> yeah. >> hot guy. a lot of women. kind of sleazy. >> sleazy? >> little bit.
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>> i'm sorry. but you've definitely left me off your list and i'd say a lot of other girls too. >> so is the show sleazy or the guy who plays the bachelor sleazy? >> i don't know. the whole thing. >> how come you don't watch "the bachelor"? >> because i have a life and i have things to do. >> do you think the guy who plays the bachelor? no respect, huh? >> no, not really. >> why not? >> a guy that goes up pretends somebody he's not to try to get 25 beautiful women, quote unquote. yeah, no. >> the guy's just a man slut and we're encouraging that entire thing. >> did you hear the bachelor this time has 27 women. what do you think about that? >> you can have 50 women. i'm never going to watch that show. >> is he good-looking at least? >> i hope so. >> do you think you're better-looking than the new bachelor? >> i would say so myself, yeah. i'm pretty confident. >> you think it's cheesy? >> yes.
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>> it's pretty cheesy huh? >> what do you think about his name juan pablo? >> definitely a mexican. >> oh he's mexican? >> sounds like it yeah. >> so do you think i look like him? >> does the picture look like you? no, your jaw shape is completely different. his nose is pointier. your eyebrows -- your brow arches different. >> well, i thought a little bit. the eyes at least. >> the eyes are the same distance apart. >> point out where it's ridiculous on the picture, the bachelor. >> his hair. >> what else? >> the shirt. >> what don't you like about him? >> the v-neck? too deep? >> no. that's too much right there. the wax, you know right there. you can clearly tell he got waxed right there. >> yeah. >> do you know who i am? >> no, i don't. >> the bachelor buddy. >> oh! >> do you know who i am? >> no, i don't know who you are. >> i'm the bachelor buddy. >> get out of here.
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>> if you had anything to say to juan pablo, what would you say to him? >> juan pablo, i would say i wish you the best of luck in finding your woman. love is very special. i can relate to that. i have a lovely wife at home. and please, man, keep your shirt on. >> i'll let him know. >> this is a picture of juan pablo. what do you think? >> juan pablo. >> jimmy: blew the lid off himself. tonight on the show harry conic jr. is here with music from michael kiwanuka. and we'll be right back with kevin costner. stick around. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ male announcer ] this is an invitation to what fortune called "the console of the future." xbox, answer. did you see that? >> portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by burger king. get a delicious smooth roast
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back. tonight on the program starting wednesday night you can see him making dreams come true. from "american idol," judge harry connick jr. is here with us. [ cheers and applause ] and then, his album is called "home again." michael kiwanuka from the sony stage tonight. tomorrow night this will be fun. matt leblanc will be here. from "12 years a slave," lupita nyong'o and music from the fray. and later this week, joseph gordon-levitt, chris pine meryl streep from "shark tank" kevin o'leary. i understand meryl's always
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wanted to meet kevin o'leary. so this will be special. and music from gregory porter and jonny lang too. join us for those shows. [ cheers and applause ] our first guest is an actor, an oscar-winning director, and when he was spare time a musician too. you can see him next play mentor to chris pine in the new thriller "jack ryan: shadow recruit." it opens friday. please welcome kevin costner! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] the service we provide. he's the purell guy. did you want a tissue? >> i'm a public school guy. it's okay. >> jimmy: you're all right? the reason i didn't kiss you when you came out here i didn't want you to think i was being standoffish. it's because i have a little bit
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of a cold. >> my same reason for you. >> jimmy: you have something going on with your throat, too. >> yeah. i lost my voice about six days ago. so i'm still trying to get it back. i apologize. >> >> jimmy: you were going to play here with your band. >> yeah. this was going to be the first time we played to a national audience here with my band, and it kind of broke my heart that we couldn't do it. >> jimmy: we'll do it again in the future. now, the band, though, came and rehearsed today. were they upset with you? >> they were a little upset. >> jimmy: they were. >> words like sissy. [ laughter ] you know, and i got to the bottom of it. i said really what is the problem? because i'm not a sissy. i said what's the problem? and they all looked at me and went, "our moms were all going to watch this tonight." >> jimmy: oh. >> so i said, well, who's a sissy? >> jimmy: that's right. who's a sissy now? call home and cry to mommy.
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did you go to the doctor? have you -- >> yeah. i desperately wanted to do this. i've been playing music for the last nine years, and this would have been the first time on this guy's show. and i know your name. [ laughter ] but really i would have loved to make it happen here. but i couldn't. i tried everything. and when you start it really -- the guy goes well do you really want to try? and i go yeah. he broke out a needle. >> jimmy: oh. >> and did the steroid thing. >> jimmy: i hope this is a doctor. >> yeah. [ laughter ] so i did the steroid thing. i did it yesterday. it didn't really take. i did it this morning. >> jimmy: wait a minute. >> for sure i can't play ball. >> jimmy: crash davis from "bull durham" is on steroids? [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> it's a minor league record. i get it. but it was legit.
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>> jimmy: i know you own two ranches, which is -- that's more than double what most people have. but are they different types of ranches? >> yeah. one is in aspen, colorado. and the other, it's not quite a ranch, but it's about 10 15 acres right on the water in santa barbara. >> jimmy: do you raise animals there? >> we'll have horses on it. >> jimmy: you will. that's nice. i think a lot of people think of you as like a guy from maybe montana or something like that. but you're from compton. >> yeah. i was. but you know, the movies are responsible -- my family, a lot of my family's from oklahoma. but you know i came down one time on a 7-year-old birthday party and went to the cinerama dome and watched "how the west was won." i remember my feet hardly got off the thing. if you know anything about that movie, it was four hours long. and when sometimes people say
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people don't sit still for movies, they've got to go quicker. i was 7 years old. i didn't even leave for the intermission. and i thought, i'm going to mak long movies myself. [ laughter ] so i did. and i was for sure going to make american westerns. so i've made about four or five and i plan to make some more. >> jimmy: your boyhood dream came true. [ cheers and applause ] >> i tell you. i'd put you in it -- you could die. i could have you die. >> jimmy: i would love to die. >> you just can't take too long to die. jimmy, you're mugging it. >> jimmy: can i ask you a question? i would think that movie companies would want the movies to be shorter because they can play it more times in the theater. do you get pressured in that regard? like hey, we need it to be -- >> i always get that pressure. but i believe absolutely in that first experience i had. and i never forgot it. so when it comes to the movies i'm a little bit stubborn. i don't want to end the movie until it's done. so i don't care if it ends in an hour 45, and i don't care if it
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ends in three hours 45. i want the movie to be what it is. >> jimmy: well, yeah. [ cheers and applause ] if you can get away with that that's great. what do you remember about growing up in compton? because besides the movie thing, because you realize like when you look at the list, i actually looked up some celebrities that are from compton. it's dr. dre, eazy-e ice cube, and kevin costner. >> right. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: did you hang out with those guys? >> no. but i learned to get through the day with my milk money. >> jimmy: you did. would you play sports and that sort of thing? >> yeah. i played sports my whole life. there's only really three sports, right? basketball, baseball, and football. at least for me. and those were -- every season. and i played them till the streetlights came on. because that's when your parents said you've got to come home once those streetlights came on. i just grew up playing everything in the street. >> jimmy: between the movies and
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the sports you probably never saw your parents. [ laughter ] >> about the time the streetlights -- i could see my dad coming up the street and i just knew how much trouble i was in. >> jimmy: i think the last time you were here which was maybe like six years ago or something, you just had a child. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and now you've had two more kids since then. >> yeah. i didn't make movies for a while. i had these three children. the little boy you're talking about is now 6. and i decided i would come back to making movies. but he's just a beautiful little boy. i literally saw him this morning as i was leaving. i looked and i thought man, there's a lot of waffles in that toaster. because he had like four spots. when i grew up it was two. but now i've got like four. and i said, hey, cade because he's 6, are you goes to eat those? he said yeah. and i came back two minutes later, we didn't talk about this, but i came back i swear to god he had three plates out and he made them for his brother and sister.
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he's 6. and the whipped cream. and he had all kinds of -- i give him whipped cream in the morning before my wife gets up. i do stuff like that. [ laughter ] they all come. i get it in the spoon, go like that. i say don't tell mom. don't tell mom. don't tell mom. [ applause ] >> jimmy: the jig is up. kevin costner is here. his new movie is called "jack ryan: shadow recruit." we'll be right back. >> the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is brought to you by sony. eumatoid arthritis, like me, and you're talking to your rheumatologist about trying or adding a biologic. this is humira, adalimumab. this is humira working to help relieve my pain. this is humira helping me through the twists and turns. this is humira helping to protect my joints from further damage. doctors have been prescribing humira for over ten years. humira works by targeting and helping to block a specific source of inflammation that contributes to ra symptoms. for many adults, humira is proven to help relieve pain and stop further joint damage.
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advanced digiovulatn tests can entifyr best days toant y other test. ximize your chances of getting pregnant. [music - artist: hanan townshend "awareness"] we read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. and the human race is filled with passion. and medicine, law, business, engineering - these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. but poetry, beauty, romance, love - these are what we stay alive for. to quote from whitman, "o me, o life of the questions of these recurring. of the endless trains of the faithless. of cities filled with the foolish. what good amid these, o me, o life? answer: that you are here. that life exists and identity. that the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse." "that the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse."
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what will your verse be? [ ron ] there's nothing like the call of the night, when you're in a fine automobile. the rhythm of the road, it's almost hypnotic. sometimes you just want to crank the heat and throw on your favorite cd of ocean sounds. the road is a wild animal that needs taming. [ snoring ] ♪ ♪ [ director ] cut, get him up. mr. burgundy. yes, patrice. he's still asleep. alright i'll kiss you. ♪ ♪ [ indistinct shouting, whistle blows ] [ girl ] can we get a little help? focus fellas. we've got pepsi. what if we just take like 15 minutes? halfway through the game? they've got pepsi. [ whistle blows ] ♪ oh, yeah, yeah ♪ ♪ oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ so what do we call that? halftime. i
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♪ >> hurry up jack. you've got cafferty on his way back to the building. duck. >> keep moving, jack. >> jimmy: that's kevin costner in "jack ryan: shadow recruit" which opens on friday. [ cheers and applause ] you play -- you've still got some purell if case -- thank you, guillermo forget, standing by. >> you're welcome. >> jimmy: i hope you get a check from them or something. >> i hope so. >> jimmy: i hope so too. you play mentor to -- chris pine is now jack ryan. ben affleck was jack ryan.
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>> right. >> jimmy: harrison ford. and alec baldwin. >> that's right. >> jimmy: you never were jack ryan. >> i was asked to be the first one on "hunt for red october." >> jimmy: oh, is that right? >> yeah. i was asked. i'd done a movie called "no way out" for the producer. >> jimmy: great movie. yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> and the producer a couple three years later asked me to play in this movie "hunt for red october." and i -- i had this other commitment. and i just -- i had given my word that i would make that movie. and they offered me more money than i'd ever seen in my life. and the other movie i put my own money into it. and so it was -- >> jimmy: which movie was that? >> that was "dances with wolves." >> jimmy: you did the right thing. [ cheers and applause ] >> so i'm not an idiot. i wanted to do that. and i don't know. i've been thinking about my career a little bit for a second because it's not like they ever offered me "superman" but 20 years later i get to be his dad. [ laughter ] so obviously, i am not saving
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the world. jack ryan is. i am like -- and i'm making sure that he does it. >> jimmy: well, as long as somebody does it i'm fine with it. whoever it is. it doesn't make a difference. >> he's a college guy. he does. so it's okay. >> jimmy: the movie is in new york, london, and russia. >> yeah. >> jimmy: did you go to russia? >> it looks like it did. the press was asking me a lot, how was russia? i wasn't there. and i said huh. just remember, the magic of movies. but i have been there a couple times with my band actually. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> yeah. the band i was talking about i put together about nine years ago. i decided that wherever i was making a movie you come into a place and you stay for two, three months. and i thought other than just being the guy you spot in a supermarket i thought i wanted to play in those communities and play live music and play original music play our own. that's really how it started. and i had no idea that we end up making a record. i had no idea that people would start paying us. and i had no idea that it would
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take me around the world. and i think that's kind of the secret to life sometimes. you do the things you want to do. you have no idea where they're going to take you. but to finish off that story i actually did -- my band ended up playing in the kremlin. we played in russia. i've been asked back there a couple of times. >> jimmy: for the russian government. >> well, that one was for the russian government, yeah. >> jimmy: wow. who was in charge at that time? >> putin's still in charge. >> jimmy: right. so he was there? >> he was there. i sat with him. he asked to sit with me. he actually got so charged up that we were playing music he actually went up and sang. actually did three things. on youtube it shows him singing "blueberry hill." but if you were actually there, he got very turned on. he actually was -- i mean he's like a pharaoh. okay? you can call him president or premier, but he is something. but sat with him. and they raised money for these children. and we just kind of hung out a little bit and the next time back i went to his house.
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>> jimmy: because he must -- from "no way out" he probably thinks he'syou're on his side. [ applause ] >> that's right. >> jimmy: "jack ryan: shadow recruit" opens in theaters this friday. we'll be right back with harry connick, jr. >> portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by burger king. get a delicious smooth roast small coffee, free with the purchase of any savory breakfast sandwich. only at burger king. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ [ male announcer ] sometimes the little things last the longest. give extra. get extra. [ male announcer ] at&t makes it easy to start your new year off right. get a hot new smartphone for zero down with at&t next. it's not complicated.
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>> jimmy: michael kiwanuka is coming up. and you know when it comes to the many gifts we've received from the city of new orleans, our next guest stands alongside jambalaya, gumbo, and the beads for toplessness exchange program. he now brings his talents to tv as judge for season 13 of "american idol." it starts wednesday night on fox. please welcome harry connick jr. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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[ cheers and applause ] >> how are you doing? >> jimmy: you put like a gallon of that stuff in my hands. he doesn't hold back. usually we shake hands and then the purell happens but whatever order is fine. >> i'm just trying to protect myself for the potential of -- you know. >> jimmy: i don't blame you. by the way, my condolences on your saints over the weekend. >> oh! it was rough. >> jimmy: i know you're a big fan, right? you're like a huge saints fan. >> i'm from new orleans, and i love my team. it was -- it was very hard to watch. >> jimmy: what do you do if you have to work while the game is on? >> oh, it's a nightmare. it rarely happens where i have to be on stage at the same time the game is because the people who sort of handle my life know that don't book anything around the saints games. but i remember one time we were on the road. and the saints were playing an nfc championship game against the vikings, and my show started at 8:00 and the game was
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probably going to end around 8:00. so it was great. and then they ended up going into overtime, and my tour manager came and said you need to go out on stage. you're probably never late for a show. like if the gig is at 8:00 you do the gig at 8:00. >> i show up and don't even sing. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> that's a good gig. that's a good gig. so i said man, i can't go out. he says what do you mean, man? you have to. i said i have to watch the end of this game. >> jimmy: yeah. it's overtime. >> and boy when we won that game, me and my two guys from new orleans in the band, we fell on the ground and cried -- we were holding each other and rolling around on the ground. it was -- it was insane man. just ridiculous. it was ridiculous. only slightly arousing. [ laughter ] but it was -- you know. >> jimmy: i'm okay with that. are you enjoying being a part of the "american idol"? it seems like every year there was a rumor that you were going
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to join the crew on the show. and then -- well, now it's come true, i guess. >> yeah. i had a great time being a mentor on the show. and this year they said do you want to be a judge? and you know, i thought about it because it's really -- well it's a big commitment but it's also something that if you do it, like anything in life, i think you really want to make sure that you really want to do it because it takes a lot of energy. you're dealing with people's lives. i mean the young people that come and audition for the show this is everything to them. so i just wanted to make sure that i knew what i was doing. and it worked out great. and we've done the audition cities. we did hollywood week. and the live shows start -- the premiere is on wednesday. but the live shows start next month. and it is so fun, jimmy. >> jimmy: it's you, jennifer lopez, and keith urban. you're the judges. >> yeah. >> jimmy: who is the mean judge in the group? >> well you know -- >> jimmy: i think it's you. [ laughter ] >> i think it depends on perception. i think a lot of times kids are
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like kind of like little fish in big ponds and they think they're great and they come in and quite frankly some of them are and some of them aren't. and i don't feel the need to give them a compliment to sort of buy myself a critique. well, i like your jacket but -- i don't say that. if they can't sing i say, "bro you can't sing." and i don't think that's mean. i'm not making a comment about their personality or their looks or their -- i'm not there for that. >> jimmy: you're just -- >> i'm judging what they're presenting me right then. and sometimes it's incredible. and other times, i mean it's weak. and i think it would behoove them and benefit them to hear the truth because sometimes you've just got to stop the bleeding and say -- i mean do you know what i'm saying? >> jimmy: yeah. >> i would be the guy who would watch the show with my family at home and i would scream at the television -- because i love "american idol." and i'm like oh my god. like -- >> jimmy: you have some emotional problems maybe.
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[ laughter ] i mean the crying for the game and -- you need to get rid of cable is what you need to do because you are too attached to your television. >> i know. it's awful. >> jimmy: were you ever in a talent show like that yourself? >> i've done competitions. i was never in a talent show per se. but i've done -- i was a classical pianist and a jazz pianist in new orleans, and i did tons of city and statewide competitions. and i never lost except one time. i did a competition. and i came in third. and y'all know who marcus robertson is the piano player. he came in first. he was 20. i was 15. and i just -- i said i'm done with this competition stuff. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> i couldn't handle it. i couldn't handle it. >> jimmy: who came in second? >> some guy. he was like 40. i was 15. but this guy -- i was just -- i said i'm done with this. i still -- when i see marcus i say i'm still upset you beat me
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in that thing. >> jimmy: do you feel like when you tell somebody they can't sing that it actually makes -- because i think most people if they heard that they probably would reject -- even though they know that you have no reason to say something unpleasant to them, do you think that it actually makes an impression on them or they go to their families and their family says no, you can sing? >> it's a combination. also you have to understand too, during the process of auditioning 600 people there's no sense in -- the key to it jimmy, is specificity. if i say if somebody really has talent, they -- all the kids that have made it this far on "american idol" this year they can all sing. but i'm talking about the ones who really can't sing. and i'm going to say i didn't like that. but the ones that can, i think it's really important to be specific with them and say okay i didn't like that performance, here's exactly what i didn't like about it. and give them something to hold on to as opposed to i just didn't like it it just didn't move me. no. you have to say, okay you were singing out of tune or the runs
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that you sang didn't match the chord underneath you, give them something specific. that's really important to me. >> jimmy: kevin, i think it's a good thing you didn't perform tonight. because this guy -- i mean with his specificity -- [ laughter ] >> he told me backstage i couldn't sing. i just quit. i just -- >> jimmy: kevin told himself he couldn't sing today. >> kevin came and said hello to me in my dressing room before the show and we're still -- fricking kevin costner, man. still tripping out. [ applause ] it's like -- people say do you ever get starstruck? i'm not trying to embarrass you. but it's really cool to be -- >> jimmy: oh, we're going to need a lot of purell when this thing is done. [ laughter ] harry connick jr., everybody. the two-night premiere of "american idol" season 13 begins wednesday night at 8:00 on fox. when we come back, music from michael kiwanuka. ♪ >> the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is brought to you
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by sony. [ female announcer ] pillsbury crescents on their own are fantastic. but add some sauce pepperoni and cheese and fold up the crescent dough and presto tuesday night just became crescent pizza pocket-tastic pillsbury crescents. make dinner pop. [ laughter ] he loves me. he loves me not. he loves me. he loves me not. ♪ ♪ he loves me! that's right. [ mom ] warm and flaky in 15, everyone loves pillsbury grands! [ girl ] make dinner pop!
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> the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is brought to you by sony. >> jimmy: i'd like to thank
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kevin costner, harry connick, jr., and apologize to matt damon. we ran out of time. he will be rescheduled. "nightline" is next. but first, his debut album is called "home again." here now with the title track, michael kiwanuka. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ home again home again one day i know i'll feel home again ♪ ♪ born again ♪ ♪ born again ♪ ♪ one day i know i'll feel strong again ♪ ♪ i left my head ♪ ♪ many times i've been told ♪ ♪ all this talk will make you old ♪ ♪ so i close my eyes ♪
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♪ look behind ♪ ♪ moving on ♪ ♪ moving on ♪ ♪ so i close my eyes look behind ♪ ♪ moving on ♪ ♪ lost again ♪ ♪ lost again ♪ ♪ one day i know our paths will cross again ♪ ♪ smile again ♪ ♪ smile again ♪ ♪ one day i hope to make you smile again ♪ ♪ and i won't hide ♪ ♪ many times i've been told ♪
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♪ speak your mind ♪ ♪ just be bold ♪ ♪ so i close my eyes or look behind ♪ ♪ moving on ♪ ♪ moving on ♪ ♪ so i close my eyes ♪ ♪ and the tears will clear ♪ ♪ then i feel no fear ♪ ♪ then i feel no way ♪ ♪ my paths will remain straight ♪ ♪ home again ♪ ♪ home again ♪ ♪ one day i know i'll feel home again ♪ ♪ born again ♪ ♪ born again ♪
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♪ one day i know i'll feel strong again ♪ ♪ i left my head many times ♪ ♪ i've been told ♪ ♪ all this talk will make you old ♪ ♪ so i'll close my eyes ♪ ♪ look behind ♪ ♪ moving on ♪ ♪ moving on ♪ ♪ so i'll close my eyes ♪ ♪ look behind ♪ moving on ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
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tonight on "nightline" -- fat jobs. bosses now offering thousands of dollars to employees for losing hundreds of pounds. >> a team of nurses competing to lose big and win some cold hard cash. >> get off your butt and get moving. plus daredevil stunts. not just for boys. >> so will you please welcome jolene van vugt! >> this high-flying wheelie-popping woman has abs of steel and nerves to match. we follow along as she prepares for her biggest stunt yet. and golden ticket. how winning or losing in the


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