tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC January 28, 2014 11:35pm-12:38am PST
than in washington, d.c. but president obama, as you know, his approval rating is very low right now. so he needed this speech tonight to reconnect with people who voted for him. although unfortunately, i think hi message was overshadowed by his attire. >> the constitution makes us not rivals, but partners for policy. >> jimmy: i don't know if that's the same hat elle wore for the grammys, but either way it was a fashion faux pas. since so many important people of government are gathered together in one place, there's always a designated survivor. this is someone they put in a secure location. so if something terrible happens to everyone at the capitol building, he or she would become the new president of the united states. so days before the state of the union, the president's chief of staff quietly chooses a cabinet member to serve as the
designated survivor and they're taken to a secure location to wait it out. if i was chief of staff, i would make vin diesel the designated survivor. if the terrorists kill everybody and vin diesel for president, you can damn be sure that death is going to be avenged. and it would be funny to have a president vin diesel, too. after obama's speech, the republicans gave not one but four rebuttals. the official rebuttal from the republican party, the tea party rebuttal, the -- there was a solo rebuttal from kentucky senator rand paul. and a rebuttal in spanish. basically, they all agree they don't like obama, they just have different reasons why. and obama's speech was not the only important one on television tonight. tonight was also the night that our parking lot security guard gave his annual state of the gulliermo address. >> i kn
>> i know many of you want to know what's going on with me. what's happening inside of guillermo. some days i'm carefree. but other days i worry a lot. do i have what it takes to make it. will i be a good role model to my son? why there so many songs about rainbows and who let the dogs out? i guess we'll never know. hey, who wants to do shots? yeah! that's what i'm talking about. i know this dude wants one. [ applause ] >> jimmy: congratulations, guillermo, well said. surprisingl surprisingly, president obama did not touch upon the on going
justin bieber crisis going on. but there's a petition on the white house.gov website that asks the united states to deport justin bieber. if they get 100,000 signatures, the white house has to respond. they already have 87,000. the canadian military has already started scrambling jets and mobilizing troops along the boarder to make sure this doesn't happen. but the petition says we the people of the united states would like to see the dangerous, reckless, destructive and drug abusing justin bieber deported and his green card revoked. he's not only threatening the safety of our people, he's also a terrible influence on our nation's youth. we the people would like to remove justin bieber from our society. from our society. [ applause ] >> jimmy: if justin bieber does get deported, can we do it by catapult? get my r&d team to start
building one. frankly, i'm fine deporting justin bieber as long as we get toronto mayor rob ford in exchange. we have some fun guests lined up for you tonight. the talented and loveable anna faris is here this evening, as is the legend -- the one and only morgan freeman is here with us tonight. i'll tell you, weird thing, like 10,000 penguins followed him here. it's very strange. we also have music tonight from motley crue. they announced today that after 33 years together they're retiring. they'll be saying goodbye on a fare well tour around the world. they're calling it the final tour and after that they're hanging it up for good. this will be their last televised performance. so make sure to get right up
close to your tv, record everything and annoy everybody behind you, just like if you were here live. and this is interesting. this is a side effect of marijuana legislation -- or legalization that i never thought i would say. as you probably know, the use of marijuana for recreation was legalized in the state of colorado this month and miraculously it's already made its way into the denver county fare. >> as american as apple pies, cherry pies, pot brown knees, all of it. >> something in there doesn't seem like it fits. >> a blue rib bobon for pot bro knees. best marijuana plant, best tie dye, grateful dead karaoke and a dorito's eating competition. >> we're mixing up a big batch of tradition with a side of now. >> jimmy: that's some motto. by the way, i would like to point out, they came up with that motto before pot was
legalized. i think i might make that my new motto. mixing up a big batch of tradition with a side of now. a crazy winter storm move into the southeast right now. they say it could be the worst storm in a generation. more than 3,000 flights have already been canceled. it's warmer in alaska today than it was in alabama, which is nuts. and it's all because of stupid leon. people have been complaining that they're having the super bowl in new jersey. meanwhile, it got down to the low 20s in new orleans tonight. it was so cold in texas today they say matthew mcconaughey briefly considered putting a shirt on. here's how you do a big bowl game in the cold. the world bowls champion was in england. i guess it's similar to bochee. this is how you get a crowd at a
leisure resort fired up. ♪ ♪ tell us what you want to do ♪ if you have like the whole thing ♪ ♪ is out of the loop let me know ♪ ♪ if you feel like happiness is the truth ♪ >> jimmy: usually they only clap like that to turn on the lights. so that was -- yeah, yeah, when do we get our fruit cups? super bowl xlviii is on sunday. i'm excited for this game. the denver bronco against seattle seahawks in metlife stadium in east rutherford, new jersey. today was media day. players gathered to talk to a huge crowd of reporters from all over the world. peyton manning looked terrible today. now, toronto residents could face a tax increase that's
significantly higher than the rate of inflation. >> he has the same complexion as a gatorade bucket. a lot of dumb things happen on media day. my cousin sal one year went dressed as a kicker for the carolina panthers and he did about 100 interviews before someone figured out he wasn't actually a football player. i think he's still banned from media day for that. it take ace way from real reporters like deion sanders. you can see deion really has a way with words. he asks excellent questions. and, in fact, we made a little compilation of them today. these are. so good questions with deion sanders. >> who would you rather have throw to you? tom or peyton right now? how are you taking in the moment? what's the difference of this super bowl and others? you dreamt of this day. how could this day be better on
sunday evening? you expect to make a big play? you said confidence is everything. how confident is this defense? >> jimmy: you know, they say there are no dumb questions, but i think they're wrong. and i think he asked all of them. but you have to admire his confidenc confidences, you really do. when we come back, a special state of the union edition of "lie witness news." we asked people what they thought of the president's speech tonight, but we asked them yesterday before it happened. plus morgan freeman, anna faris and motley, crue, so stick around. [ male announcer ] this is the age of knowing what you're made of. why let erectile dysfunction get in your way? talk to your doctor about viagra. ask if your heart is healthy enough for sex. do not take viagra if you take nitrates for chest pain;
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>> jimmy: i mentioned earlier president obama gave his state of the union address tonight, which sounds important. but i don't think most people pay attention to the state of the union. i think most people friend to care about this sort of thing but actually don't. so we put them to the test. i sent a camera out on hollywood boulevard. we shot part of this yesterday and part this afternoon. we asked pedestrians what they thought of the president obama's speech. of course, there's no possible way they could have seen the speech because it hadn't happened yet, but that didn't stop these folks in weighing in tonight's edition of "lie witness news." >> what did you of the state of the union last night? >> it was awesome. i loved it. >> what did you think of president obama's state of the union address last night? >> you know, it had different
af affects on different people. i just feel those effects affect everybody. you got to stay positive president not focus on the negative. >> what did you think of the president obama's state of the union address last night pop i thought it was powerful. i thought he laid out the same policies he's been laying out all along. >> did you notice that john boehner kept falling asleep? >> i did. it's not the best thing to see on national television. >> so you stayed up and watched the whole thing. >> not the whole thing. i was pretty tired. i caught the middle 20. >> what do you think of the weird tie that obama was wearing last night? >> i mean, i support the weird tie. that's what i do. i support kind of being, kind of getting different with the fashion. it's kind of weird. but i support it. >> for people who didn't see it, can you describe what it looked like? >> something i would wear to the bingo hall with my grandma to be funny. kind of like --
>> debetty boop? >> yeah, that's a good word for it. >> what did you think obama's state of the union last night? >> i have my own beliefs about what's going on. and it's -- >> what specifically was good about it? >> just that he was addressing what everybody was talking about. >> which is what? >> i don't know. >> where were you when you watched it? >> in a hotel room. >> did you watch it with anyone? >> my wife. >> what did she think of it? >> she was pretty much nodding off and sleeping. >> did you think there was too much product placement in the state of the union? >> that kind of surprises me. >> who lied more last night, the president or you? >> who? >> i'm asking you. >> probably me. >> what did you lie about? >> the fact that i saw all of it. because i was nodding off.
>> so did you see any of it? >> i saw most -- i would say half of it. >> so you're not lying about seeing half of it. >> so what did you think about obama faking the heart attack at the end. >> i thought that was more for shock value. not, you know, dust just a -- >> i mean, he did get shocked when they brought that defibrillat defibrillator. >> what did you think of president obama's state of the union address last night? >> it was all right. >> what was your favorite part of it? >> the end. >> did you think that joe biden embarrassed last night? >> very much so. >> were you shocked when you saw that? >> i was pretty shocked when i saw him fall asleep. that was not good. >> can you describe what you saw? >> kind of nodding out. kind of like he was on drugs. maybe. >> and then what? >> then he just -- fall asleep. >> and what did obama do?
>> he continued. i was not. watching obama by that point. >> was there anything in the speech that made you anger? >> that it wasn't over quicker. >> why did you force yourself to watch it if you didn't want to watch it? >> well, it's important to be able to talk to people about things that are going on in our generation. you don't want to sound uneducated. >> even if they haven't happened yet? >> yeah, pretty much. this hasn't even happened, has it? >> thank you so much in taking part in "lie witness news." >> you're welcome. >> jimmy: i think they all learned a valuable lesson there, right? i don't know what it is. all right to night on the show, anna faris with us. we have the final tv performance be motley crue and right back with morgan freeman so stick around.
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is here. and today, they announced after 33 years as a band they're hanging it up. here tonight to make their final television appearance ever their album is called the greatest hits. motley crue from the sony outdoor stage. and for tickets for their final tour which they swear is the final tour. which isn't like the usual farewell tour, go on sale on friday. andy garcia will be with us and music from broken bells. and on thursday, zack effron. our first guest is an academy award winning actor who happens to have the exact same voice as god. he lends that voice to a very distinguished toy in "the lego movie." please welcome the easiest reader of them all, morgan freeman! [ applause ]
>> how are you? you look great. you're taking this penguin thing very seriously, though, huh? i feel like i'm -- when you seem mad, i feel like i'm going to hell. how are you? >> i'm good, i'm good. i'm very good. >> it's fun to hear your voice in person. if you know this, you've been narrating my dream since i was a boy. yes, yes. i started with you as the easy reader.
you might be the first person i liked on tv. i liked the easy reader. i liked the electric company. >> okay, i believe you. >> it's great to have you here. when does the voice kick in? is it puberty or do you develop it over a long period of time. >> no, i was 30 when it settled in. >> jimmy: past 30. are you able to disguise your voice. if you were to call, to make a reservation or something. do they recognize you immediately? >> it doesn't happen at all. no everybody seems to know when i call. >> jimmy: they know when you call. your voice is one of the most imitat. i think everyone thinks they do an imitation of you. do they do it to you when they meet you?
>> no, no. >> i wouldn't recognize it. i don't know. my voice doesn't sound the same to me as it does to you. >> jimmy: that's right. unless you're used to hearing your voice come out of a speaker or something like that. >> but when you talk, you're just rattling around head. >> jimmy: yeah, especially when i talk. it's just rattling around in my head. you've not been here before. i'm excited to have you here. but we've talked about you a bunch of times on this show. other guests have told me stories about you. >> really? >> jimmy: yes. some of them, remarkable in my opinion anyway. >> i know people, jimmy. be careful. >> jimmy: i want to ask you for your account of these stories. and maybe you'll confirm them. maybe you have a different version of the story. jonah hill, he worked with you on a movie. he said the only conversation the two of you had offcamera after a few days of working together, you approached him and you started sinning the name game song to him, jonan, jonah,
bo bonah, et cetera. >> banana fanana bo bonah. >> jimmy: exactly. and you insisted he sing it back to you using your name and that's the last conversation you have. >> and so what did he want me to do? >> jimmy: is that true? >> i don't know. >> jimmy: anthony mackey, do you remember anthony mackey? >> oh, y e. i remember him very well. >> jimmy: he came to you asking for advice. he was trying to decide whether to do a film or a play. and he said you gave him very good advice. you told him to do the play and then you burped in his face. >> i kind of remember that. >> jimmy: that's a weird thing to do. >> but it's not very often i
pull one of those off and it was one of those long ones. the ones that did surprise you. you've had that happen. you start to say something. >> jimmy: it's got a tail on it. do you do that to mess with these guys? do you do it now because you know what you mean to these people and how much you're cousins? >> i'm hailed fellow well met. i always try to be nice to people. all people. just sometimes they don't rub you quite the right way. you've got to let them know something. >> jimmy: give them something to share. >> just a little something. >> jimmy: i feel like we don't know -- well, i certainly don't know you, but i feel like i don't know enough about you. >> don't you forget it, either. >> jimmy: may i ask you some kind of random questions?
like for instance, have you ever been arrested? >> yeah. >> jimmy: for what? >> hmm. i was hitchhike on the santa ana freeway. i was in the air force. and i was on -- i had, like, a, you know, a three-day pass. and i didn't have -- well, i did have money, but i didn't want to spend it. so i was hitchhiking. and a cop comes along and he thought i was a bit of a smart mouth. so they called the shore patrol an they put me in jail. >> jimmy: just for being a smart mouth? >> yeah. >> jimmy: how long were you in there? >> well, i was -- i -- you're not supposed to hitchhike on the santa ana, even if you're in uniform. >> jimmy: i see. how long were you in -- >> four days. >> jimmy: four days! >> yeah, four days in the brig. >> jimmy: you must have been a real smart ass.
have you ever seen a ufo? >> ummm, that's hard to answer. i'm a pilot. >> jimmy: mm-hmm. >> and once flying out of probably out of santa monica, there was this -- you know these bunches of balloons, helium-filled balloons and they go flying up. >> jmy: yes, i've seen ballo balloons. >> yeah. well, i'm at about 5,000 feet and these balloons go past me. so that was -- i reported it. >> jimmy: you did? >> yeah, ufo. >> jimmy: but you identified them, so technically they were be an ifo, didn't they? >> well, to me it was a ufo. >> jimmy: all right. i don't feel like i really learned that much about you. we'll take a break. when we come back, we'll talk about your new movie, "the lego
movie." morgan freeman is here. we'll be right back. >> portions of jimmy kimmel live" is brought to you by volkswagen. go to youtube.com/vw. >> jimmy kimmel live concert series is brought to you by sony. which 4g lte map has the most coverage? this isn't real difficult... pretty obvious to me. i'm going to have to say verizon. verizon. that's right! the choice is obvious. verizon's superfast 4g lte is more reliable and in more places than any other 4g network. now get one-hundred, two-hundred, or even three-hundred dollars off a new smartphone depending on the smartphone you trade in on america's largest, most reliable 4g lte network. that's powerful. verizon. act now and get the samsung galaxy note 3 just $149.99. to manage your money.r guy around 2 percent that's not much, you think except it's 2 percent every year. go to e*trade and find out how much our advice and guidance costs. spoiler alert. it's low. it's guidance on your terms not ours.
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>> the piece of resistance. >> the supposedly piece of resistance that can somehow disarm the cackle. give me a break. >> a special one with face of yellow will make the piece of resistance found from its hiding refuge underground. and with a noble army at the helm this master builder will thwart the crackle and save the realm and be the most interesting, most important person of all times. all this is true because it rhymes. >> jimmy: that is the voice of morgan freeman in the leg goe movie. have you ever -- are leg goes something you ever played with? have you ever touched a lego? >> yeah. i've stepped on a couple. sfie that could be the horror movie version of this particular movie. >> you have kids. and they don't play with them.
they just pick them up and bang them on the floor. >> jimmy: they're just lit ferer the most part. >> that's really my experience with legos. >> jimmy: you are producing a television show, a special. and the title of that is called stim cell universe with stephen hawking. >> exactly. >> jimmy: and that's on the science channel. >> it's going to be on monday night, i think it is. >> jimmy: yes, monday nigh. >> february 3. we're going to do an examination, this is sort of a -- who knows about stem cell therapy. do you know about it? >> jimmy: i know a little bit about it. >> yeah. there's a bigamistry around what it is, what it does. is it as good as people say it is? or will we wind up down the line doing something we have no business doing. >> jimmy: do you think down the line we will decide -- >> no, i don't. i don't. i go along with the scientists who say this may be the next best thing in medicine. >> jimmy: it's a question that almost -- you almost don't have
to ask is because these scientists are always going to discover new things, for good and bad. and we're always going to continue advancing and declining. >> i think almost everything has a down side. a side effect of almost every new thing, you know? we've got antibiotics that do you a lot of good. they also don't do you a lot of good. your doctor tells you if you take this, you've got to take what do you call it? >> jimmy: pro-biotics. >> you do. >> jimmy: oh, i know. you don't have to tell me that. >> jimmy: and stephen hawking is someone you know well? >> well, i know him about as well as anybody out here. we have met on two or three occasions. >> jimmy: when a great genius like stephen hawking meets you, do you get the sense that he is a fan? that he's excited to meet a
movie star? or is he above that? >> really hard to tell. >> jimmy: hard to tell, okay. i gotcha. well, it sounds like an interesting show. it's quite a contrast to the lego movie, i will say that. >> yeah. but i'm full of those. >> jimmy: well, it's great to have you here. morgan freeman everybody. "the lego movie" premiering february 7. and stephen hawking monday night on the science channel. right back with anna faris! so what's better, bigger or smaller? [ all ] bigger! now let's say a friend invites you over and they have a really big, really fun pool. and then another friend invites you over who has a much smaller, less fun pool. which pool would you rather go to? does the big pool have piranhas? i believe so. does it have a dinosaur that can turn into a robot and chop the water like a karate ninja? yeah. wait, what? why would it not? [ male announcer ] it's not complicated. bigger is better. and at&t now covers more than 99% of all americans.
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[ footsteps ] [ gasp ] holy... i'm justin. [ jt ] i always love to get a fan's story. and to also surprise them. [ sighs ] i don't know if i can do this right now. come on, you can do it! i love it, i love it. ♪ oh, oh-oh-oh [ male announcer ] if you have a mastercard, you could get a priceless surprise, concert tickets, trips, even a visit from justin timberlake. so you're a fan of me? that's what you're saying?
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[ both ] chicken pot pie diet! me too! [ male announcer ] so indulgent, you'll never believe they're light. 100-calorie progresso light soups. [ male announcer ] you say tomato. ♪ old el paso says diced tomato stand 'n stuff chicken tacos. ♪ you say what's for dinner? old el paso says start somewhere fresh. >> jimmy: still to come, motley crue. our next guest co-stars with on the new show "mom" which airs mondays at 9:30 on cbs. please welcome anna faris.
[ applause ] >> did you meet morgan freeman? >> jimmy: yes, i did. >> had you met before? >> no. i was intimidated. were you intimidated? >> jimmy: definitely. i enjoyed having him here. i didn't realize he was s funny. i did not expect that. >> hysterical. yeah. and he's amazing in the movie. and yeah, my husband is in the movie. i'm not supposed to be -- >> jimmy: your husband chris pratt who is a great guy. i know him fairly well. but you know better. tell me if i'm wrong. he seems like a great guy. no, he's amazing. the last time he was here, it was before thanksgiving, and he said he was planning to shoot squirrels and feed them to your family for the holidays. did that happen?
>> yeah, it did. it did. i wish i could say it only happened once. it's happened many times. >> jimmy: do they like it when he serves squirrel? >> i don't. but it's become a thing. my brother and my husband harvest squirrels during the holidays. and they have to cook it outside on the barbecue, because my mom refuses to have, i don't know, the smell of cooking squirrel in her kitchen. i don't know why. and they season it heavily because, you know, you have to. it's a squirrel. have you had squirrel before? >> jimmy: no, i've never had squirrel. maybe we'll do a cooking demonstration next time he's here on the show. >> imagine you're eating the tiniest little thigh bone. >> jimmy: i have to tell you something, i saw a squirrel
outside my house the other day that was bigger than like a possum. it was an enormous squirrel. >> they're big boys now, right? >> jimmy: he could make quite a meal out of one of those things. >> yeah, that's probably our future. >> jimmy: your son how old now? >> a year and a half. >> jimmy: so he's not out shooting anything. >> oh, no. no. no. not yet. >> jimmy: do you think he will join the squirrel murder squad? >> probably. probably. he's a little man. he's a little dude. like his dad, he's a big boy and he's -- yeah. i'm sure that -- i don't know what i did. no, but it's great. i love that they're dudes. >> are you raising your boy yourself or do you have a team of nannies taking care of them? >> well, my parents are here in l.a. they live in seattle, but our son jack is their first and only
grandchild right now. >> jimmy: is that a good or bad thing? >> they're amazing grandparents, but, you know, i. >> jimmy: did they have a lot of advice for you? >> my mom is, like, i'm sure everyone can relate. she's the kind of woman who still cuts out newspaper cliplings of advice and sends them to me. >> jimmy: like dear abby types of things. >> here are choking hazards. or how to give yourself a heimlich maneuver. or is your sun block high enough? you know, gosh, have you clean your garbage disposal lately. or noro virus. >> jimmy: i think squirrels might carry that, by the way. you have to really be careful. she might have good reason. >> i know. she was talking about some virus that squirrels do carry. >> jimmy: wow. so are you football fans. are you excited about the super bowl this weekend? >> yeah, we're pretty excited.
>> jimmy: what's going to go on? >> oh, bo i, i don't know. i wish i could say that i was an educated football fan. >> jimmy: oh, you're not? >> i'm learning, i'm learning. just this year, because of the seahawks, my husband can tell me about two or three rules per game that i can absorb. i have to write them down and i -- >> jimmy: do you know how many goals you get for a field goal? >> three. >> jimmy: that's good. >> yes! >> jimmy: you know enough to watch the game. will it be a serious viewing experience? are there superstitions. is it one of those deals? >> well, i'm sure there's going to be a lot of beer involved, knowing many i family. so that's always good. we have a little seahawks jersey we got for our baby son jack. we lost it. and we were convinced that, you know, that meant -- because you know how you do. it becomes all about yourself
and whatever -- >> jimmy: you have to be on the right position on the couch. same socks. >> we ordered him a new one so i think we're looking good. >> jimmy: i don't know. the new one might not work. >> do not say that. >> jimmy: you same so far with the old one, you have to find the old one. >> oh, man, i'm sorry i -- >> jimmy: did you leave it at a bar or something? how do you lose a baby jersey? are you enjoying doing this television show? >> i did a couple of small bits froends and entourage. this is my first show and i'm just loving it. i'm really proud of it. i love the people i work with. i'm just really proud of the show. it's touching and funny. and i love it. >> and all of that stuff. well, it's great to see you. please give my best to the
family. and good luck to your seahawks on sunday. the show is called "mom" anna faris, everybody. monday night at 9:30 on cbs. right back with motley crue. >> jimmy kimmel live concert series is brought to you by sony. ♪ turn around ♪ every now and then i get a little bit hungry ♪ ♪ and there's nothing good for me around ♪ ♪ turn around ♪ every now and then i get a little bit tired ♪ ♪ of craving something that i can't have ♪ ♪ turn around, barbara ♪ forever i've been praying for a snack in my life ♪
♪ yeah ♪ when i get high i get high on speed top fuel funny car's a drug for me my heart my heart kickstart ♪ ♪ my heart always got the cops coming after me custom built bike doing one-oh-three my heart my heart kickstart heart ♪ ♪ ooh are you ready girls ooh are you ready now whoa yeah kickstart my heart give it a start ♪ ♪ whoa yeah baby whoa yeah whoa yeah kickstart my heart give it a start whoa yeah baby ♪ ♪ skydive naked from an aeroplane or a lady with a body from outer
space my heart my heart kickstart my ♪ ♪ heart say i got trouble trouble in my eyes i'm just looking for another good time my heart ♪ ♪ my heart kickstart my heart yeah are you ready girls yeah are you ready whoa yeah kickstart my heart give it a start ♪ ♪ whoa yeah baby whoa yeah kickstart my heart give it a start whoa yeah baby ♪
♪ when we started this band all we needed needed was a laugh years gone by i'd say we've kicked some ♪ ♪ ass when i'm enraged or hittin the stage adrenaline rushing through my veins ♪ ♪ and i'd say we're still kickin' ass kickstart my heart hope it never stops and to think we did all of this ♪ ♪ to rock whoa yeah kickstart my heart give it a start whoa yeah baby whoa yeah kickstart my heart give it a start ♪ whoa yeah baby
>> tonight on "nightline," state of the yuunion confidential. >> the president of the united states. >> it's the annual rite of democracy as you've never seen it before. >> wherever and whenever i can take steps, that's what i'm going to do. >> behind the scenes from the making of the speech. >> one or two examples. >> history's wildest presidential proms -- . >> and god bless america. >> so often go so horribly wrong. and as a state of emergency is declared across the country, americans are asking what is up with the wild weteather. >> this is the new normal america is going to have to get