>> jimmy: that could be awhile coming. a story like this i wonder how closely people are paying attention to the details. this afternoon we went out on the street, we asked people what they thought of the news that alexander hamilton was harassing mike pence. of course alexander hamilton has been dead for like 200 years. but did that stop people from nodding and knowing? let's find out in tonight's hamilton edition of "lie witness news." >> as you know the big news today, treasury secretary alexander hamilton is feuding with vice president electricity mike pence after verbally harassing him. do you think mike pence unless the right? should alexander apologize? >> no, i do not think alexander should apologize to mike pence. i don't agree with a lot of the things that mike pence stands for. >> donald trump is now saying that alexander hamilton wasn't even born in the united states. do you think he should have to show his birth certificate? >> he definitely should have to show, yes. >> and death certificate? >> whatever it takes.
>> sure. do you think being from the 1700s has anything to do with alexander hamilton's petition? >> we go further when we reflect back in our history, i don't, so i don't know. >> that's beautiful. do you think mr. hamilton, being from the 1700s, has anything to do with his position or does it not really matter? >> i don't really find that to be relevant to anything that is currently happening in today's, you know, society. >> instead of staying dead and buried he should speak out? >> yeah, exactly. >> are you going to watch the duel live on tv? >> there's no doubt i will. >> what went through your mind when you saw him in that powdered wig on cnn? did you think that was offputting? >> yes, i can't believe he'd do something like that. >> describe that. >> just -- one of those things that was so childish and that. hard to describe. >> almost like it didn't even happen? >> yes. >> yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we didn't even send anyone back to trump university
to get our heads straight. as you know, thanksgiving is on thursday. black friday is on friday. i think, you know -- i would love to see these stores combine thanksgiving and black friday into a single celebration where you go to the mall and you beat a stranger over the head with a turkey leg. but thanksgiving, of course, is a time where we travel long distances so that our families can annoy us with all sorts of passive aggressive questions. it can be a terrible, intrusive time. to head that off we went around our office, we gave our staffers a chance to answer the questions they expect to get at thanksgiving din they are year from their families so we can get this out of the way before they get home and sit down to eat. >> no, mom, phone's not broken. i'll definitely call more often. yeah, every day. >> yes, i am going to eat all that. >> yes, this is how much i usually drink. you're making it worse. >> yes, i'm still single. no i'm not a lesbian.
>> no, i didn't end up sticking to that diet. >> no, dad, i don't need any money. actually, some money would be nice, so. >> yes, i honestly think she was more qualified to be president of the united states. no, i'm not -- yes. yes, i am a little drunk. >> no, mom, still not pregnant. really hope not. >> yes, grandpa, there are a lot of jew in the entertainment industry. including my girlfriend. >> sorry, mom, you're not getting a granddaughter. >> everyone pick up your phone, you go to settings. and then wi-fi. and then select a network. >> yes, i'm dating someone. no, you can't meet him. ever. oh, yeah, if we were really bummed you couldn't make it to our wedding too. >> no, grandpa, i didn't give
guillermo that coonskin cap you september me to give him, sorry. >> si, it does keep me warm. >> no, i can't get you tickets to metallica or coldplay. i'm not the [ bleep ] ticket master. >> yes, as jimmy's assistant i'm also his best friend. and no we cannot facetime him right now. >> jimmy nice? yeah, he's [ bleep ] nice. is jimmy always funny? yeah, he's always [ bleep ] funny. >> no, i can't give you tickets to "ellen" because i don't work at "ellen." [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: makes sense, it really does. hae we have to take a break. we have especially when we come back, the first-ever politically correct thanksgiving pageant when we return. so stick around, we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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here, there is magic for days. >> jimmy: welcome back. shia labeouf, anna camp, music from green day is all on the way. i feel like i must share this. over the years we've seen a lot of videos of people passing out on roller coasters. this one is special. this happened in florida. panama city beach. a couple got on something called the slingshot ride. thank god they got this on tape because i think it says a lot. >> oh! oh my god! >> aah! >> [ bleep ]! i'm going to throw up!
>> oh! >> aah! >> this view. >> no! >> jimmy: is she okay? are you okay? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: this is good. this is from the uk. a couple took their infant son out on some kind of a wildlife safari and it went like this. >> wow. i wouldn't mess with them guys, bro. it's going to -- >> oh my god! >> oh gosh. >> jimmy: how did that much liquid fit inside that child in the first place?
if you run that in reverse it's extra horrifying. back to thanksgiving. most of us are familiar with the traditional tale of the first thanksgiving. you know how it went, the one we learned in school, heartwarming story. but this is not 1621, this is 2016. some of the story is out of date. we thought it might be a good idea to update the story of thanksgiving to reflect our modern sense differents. with that said we proudly present the students of edward james elementary school in the first-ever politically correct thanksgiving pageant. kids? [ cheers and applause ] >> please don't applaud. it's insensitive to people with no arms. [ laughter ] the place, plymouth, massachusetts. the year, 1621. if you choose to believe in the culturally oppressive gre greco-roman calendar. [ laughter ] let us begin.
♪ ♪ >> i am cold and hungry. >> me too. but last night this mystic experience of all those who are not cold and hungry. >> life partner, look, we have visitors. >> yes, i see. >> greetings, indigenous people. >> greetings, non-indigenous people. >> or should we say, how. >> please don't. it's cultural appropriation. [ laughter ] >> your baby is very cute. is it a squaw or a brave? >> we're not using gender labels yet. we'll let it decide for itself how it identifies. [ laughter ] >> thank you for raising awareness! >> over the coming months the indigenous people taught the non-indigenous people how to hunt, fish, and grow crops.
that's not to say that those who don't know these things are somehow lesser than those who do. in august of 1621, they all met in a safe space and had a locally sourced feast. >> let's say grace. dear generic higher power. [ laughter ] who we choose to believe in. or not believe in. thank you. or never mind. let's eat. >> i've got a maize allergy, does anything here have maize in it? >> everything has maize in it. except for the turkey. >> whoa. we don't eat turkey. it's not morally justifiable. >> frankly, i'm offended by the sight of it. >> check your privilege,
pilgrim! [ laughter ] >> you check your privilege, indian! >> whoa! ♪ >> just as everyone's triggers were being alerted, a thanksgiving miracle happened. [ laughter ] >> hi, everyone! >> what are you? >> i'm a tofurkey! gobble gobble! i'm made of 100% bean curd and wheat protein. and i am gmo free. so dig in! ♪ >> ow!
>> this is disgusting! >> yes, it tastes like wood pulp. >> exactly! you see, when we all come together and compromise and spend all of our time trying to please everyone, we end up with a lumpy knob of brown goo. now let us sing. ♪ ♪ we wish you a safe thanksgiving we wish you a nonconfrontational thanksgiving ♪ ♪ we wish you a non-anglo centric thanksgiving ♪ ♪ and a micro aggression-free new year ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thanks. thanks, kids. well done. very well done. thank you, thank you. thank you, thank you, thank you. beautifully done. how about those kids, everybody. [ cheers and applause ]
tonight on the show we have music from green day, anna camp is here. be right back with shia labeouf! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by hallmark channel's "countdown to christmas." watch all-new holiday movies. are we on? ahem. ginger breadington here for target's 10 days of deals. look! it's beats solo headphones in red carpet red from sunday's 10% off electronics. kitchenaid mixer from monday's 20% off kitchen is here too! and it looks like the rumors are true. pizza brought another pizza for wednesday's buy one get one free pizza deal! so hot! and what are these surprise deals? well, stick around because they are sweet. ♪ (laughs..) here it is.
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am i actually pushing these guys who ran out of gas six miles on a lonely highway? or is this a metaphor for how i'm constantly pushing myself to make a tastier sandwich? like my new pepper jack ranch spicy chicken sandwich with spicy pepper jack cheese, spicy ranch, and spicy all-white-meat chicken. but judging from the third-degree sunburn, and the fact that i can't feel my legs, i'd say i'm actually pushing this car. there's gotta be a better way to get new customers. the pepper jack ranch spicy chicken sandwich. taste it before it's gone. yep, i'm lost.
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>> jimmy: hi, there. tonight from the new show, streamable now on amazon prime, anna camp is here. and then their new album is right here called "revolution radio." green day from the outdoor stage. also we've had a lot of great performances on this show but none better than green day. so that will be great. this is special. tomorrow night our second annual red special with bono, julia roberts, channing tatum, kristen bell, neil patrick harris, halsey, the killers, and dj khaled too, all live in studio for a very good cause, please join us tomorrow night for that. our first guest tonight is a terrific actor who on the side leads a very interesting life. his new movie is called "man down." it opens in theaters december
2nd. please say hello to shia labeouf! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: very good to see you. i saw your movie this weekend and it's crazy to see you because you're so -- >> sickly looking. >> jimmy: well, you're kind of -- militaristic in a way, now you look like you again. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: which is a testament to your acting. my wife and i were going on and on and on about what a good actor you are, which is true. >> thank you. >> jimmy: you really do a lot of great movies. you did a weird thing, actually. you showed all your movies, correct me if i have this wrong, back to back to back to back in a theater, you stayed for the whole thing. >> yeah, yeah, yeah.
three days. >> jimmy: invited people to come. three days' worth of movie-watching. >> it was kind of crazy. it starts like an ironic, silly thing like most of the things i do, then it wound up in a cool, sincere place. >> jimmy: do you think to the end, as far as these things that you do, before you do them? or you just see how it goes? >> no, no. both. you set up boundaries then give it to everyone else and let them have it. >> jimmy: what were your boundaries? basically it seemed to me that you put a camera on yourself while you watched all your movies and anyone who wanted to came in and keernd kind of did anything they wanted to. >> some people are exhibitionists who want to sit right next to you and dress and up do stuff. then some people want to lay in the cut, just be a part of it. so it's really, you know, open-ended. there's not a whole lot of boundaries other than you've got to kind of wait in line and that becomes its own thing. >> jimmy: we have a clip. this went on, as you said, three days. >> yeah. >> jimmy: which movie were you sleeping through? >> that was probably "transformers." [ laughter ]
>> jimmy: i don't know if there's an explosion or something -- there you go, you woke up. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: that seemed like fun. you do these crazy -- you did another thing where you told people where you were and asked them to come give you a ride. >> yeah. >> jimmy: then you just went with them. >> sounds crazy on paper. >> jimmy: sounds crazy verbally as well. [ laughter ] >> yeah, yeah. in most ways, yeah. but it really turns into something special, man. you know, people want to be a part of something. >> jimmy: what happened there? where did people take you? >> we started in colorado. we wound up in alaska. we hit every side of the nation. we went everywhere. >> jimmy: were people on their way to these places? or did people say, i want to take you to alaska? >> some people would quit their jobs ask and roll with you for three weeks. it started with the three of us like all the things we do. it wound up we had like 20 people rolling with us the louisiana week. until we got to canada and we had to lose a bunch of people because they didn't have their
passports. we finished in alaska. >> jimmy: were there people that you thought at some point, i got to get them off this trip, i can't spend another day in a car with this guy? >> no, no. it manages itself, you know. you'll never have to mouth up. the group manages il s itself. you float, let people do their thing. >> jimmy: what are the other things you've done over the past year? >> we did a thing where we set up a telephone line where we asked people to call up and touch our souls. >> oh, yeah, right. you just took phone calls for a long time. >> five days, yeah. >> jimmy: for five days. [ laughter ] you have a lot of free time, it turns out. >> yeah, yeah. you get fired from a show then you float a little bit. >> jimmy: five days of phone calls. this is like the butterball turkey hotline right now. >> again, i know it sounds silly, but you know -- >> jimmy: did you learn anything tra during that time? taking all those phone calls? >> i'm enjoying myself. i find a lot of joy in it. i think a lot of the people who
take part in it find joy in it too. >> jimmy: do you remember any of them specifically? we still talk, yeah. you build communities. it doesn't go away, it doesn't die. you build groups. >> wow, that's something else. >> it's cool. >> jimmy: i know you love this kind of stuff. >> i do, i love it. >> jimmy: who do you do this with? >> nastia and luke, those are the people i collaborate with. >> jimmy: what do they get out of it? >> probably the same stuff i do. you go from self-examination to self-love to people love. then it's really joyful on the other side of these projects. >> jimmy: i love that stuff. i think it's very interesting. >> it is. >> jimmy: very creative. this is by the way your tenth appearance on this show. >> that's yes shaved, know what i mean? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: the first time you were here, you were a kid. you were a teenager. and i got you a little something. we put something together special for you to celebrate. i know you just got married too. this can be kind of a -- this is the chemical rave plate collection for each appearance
on our show. that's the first time. [ laughter ] july 2003. >> wow, man. >> jimmy: just over the years, you can just see us talking time and time again. >> wow, wow. >> jimmy: 2006. >> this is crazy, man. >> jimmy: who can forget 2008. do you remember that one? >> sure, of course. >> jimmy: and they go on and on and on. and they're really pretty much all the same. i'm just fatter and fatter in each one of them. but yeah, we don't have to go through all of them. this is something for you and your new bride. >> thank you, she'll never go for that, but that's very cool. >> jimmy: she won't go for that. [ laughter ] >> no way. that's where we cut the line. draw it off. >> jimmy: you were in alaska with strangers and she won't go for this? [ laughter ] >> yeah, that's rough. it's going to be tough to push through? you got married in las vegas? >> yeah, we did, yeah. >> jimmy: it was a real experience? it wasn't one of these
experiments? >> no, no, no. my stuff's never trying to be tricky, you know. i'm really transparent. so yeah. we paid to get this wedding. with it came this live link. the live link somehow found its way to tmz. but that wasn't the goal? i see. >> but her dad saw it that way. >> jimmy: was he mad? he saw it on the internet? >> we had to have a talk for sure. >> jimmy: you didn't call him and say -- >> he was supposed to call but somehow -- >> jimmy: you were supposed to call. >> he's an ice trucker, it's really tough -- >> jimmy: oh, no. >> might not be no more plates. >> jimmy: let's talk about this movie. this movie's really good. and very intense. your performance in it is -- well, i don't want to give anything away. i'm very careful about that kind of thing. people get mad at me. i'll let you explain. >> it's about a soldier who's returning to -- his job really
affected him. he's coming home, trying to make sense of what he's arrived in. >> jimmy: that's all you can say, really, about it. >> pretty much. >> jimmy: it's not what you expect it is. >> no, no. and calling it a war film feels like the wrong thing too. it's a people film. and it's a bit like "memento" and "coming home" and it's kind of a mind [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: it's a curse word. you'll hear a bleep at home but that was the "f" word. [ laughter ] take a look at a clip from shia labeouf and "man down." >> we entered the first floor. cleared neutral as the first floor. then -- then went to the second floor. >> there was a room? >> yes, sir.
>> on the ground! on the ground! >> jimmy: that is called "man down." it opens in theaters december 2nd. very good to see you. i look forward to our next plate. shia labeouf, everybody. we'll be right back! place to stp and the best place to shop is kohl's black friday. shop black friday deals online all week long. get $24.99 toys $7.99 after rebate kitchen electrics. shop online for $24.99 boots sweaters just $19.99 $29.99 diamond and crystal earrings. and - stores open thursday at 6pm. plus only once a year everyone gets $15 kohl's cash for every $50 spent. the first place to stop and the best place to shop is kohl's black friday. don't miss it!