tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC November 23, 2016 11:35pm-12:38am PST
>> i'm ama daetz. thank you for joining us. happy thanksgiving. >> have a great night and >> dicky: from hollywood it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight, dwayne johnson from "billy on the street," billy eichner, cousin sal does funny things, and music from dawes. and now, prepare yourselves -- here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: very kind. hi, everybody. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thanks to all of you for coming. happy monday, i guess. hopefully by now you've come to terms with the fact that no matter how much you drink, the
results of the election are not going to change. [ laughter ] i've been having dreams about this election. every night i wake up, it's in my head. remember when the song "don't worry, be happy" and it just got in there and you couldn't shake it? it's like that, except without the "don't worry" part. [ laughter ] president obama held a press conference today. his first since the election. at which every one of the reporters asked him about donald trump. every question was about donald trump. this is -- don't worry, it's only going to happen about 30 more years. [ laughter ] a few of them tried to get obama to say something insulting about trump but he didn't bite, he was very diplomatic. he says he hopes donald trump makes things better, plans to do whatever he can to help him. in other words, good luck, dummies, i'm out of here. it's hard to tell because he was standing in front of a podium but i'm pretty sure he was wearing shorts. [ laughter ] you know, i was watching president obama during this press conference today, i noticed something interesting. now look at it, this was obama today. at the white house.
and here he is. this is last week. the day after the election. is it possible that the color of his hair is coming back? [ laughter ] his hair is turning black again. either he's happy or he's on a lot of xanax right now, i don't know. [ laughter ] he held back. as did donald trump. did you see donald trump on "60 minutes" last night? the president-elect sat down with leslie stall. he did not grab her lady parts, which was good. presidential. he did weigh in on immigration, obamacare, and his feelings about the handful of genuine deplorables who are taking this opportunity to harass minorities right now. >> i am very surprised to hear that. >> they're telling muslims -- >> i hate to hear that. >> they're harassing latinos, muslims -- >> i am so saddened to hear that. and i say, stop it. if it helps. i will say this and i'll say it right to the camera. stop it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: all you thugs watching "60 minutes" right now, stop it! [ laughter ]
i tell you, that's how you talk to a 3-year-old who won't stop dumping cheerios on the floor. if i have to say it again, you're going to time-out, stop it! meanwhile protests continue across the united states. there were protests here in l.a. this weekend and all the big cities. in portland, oregon, this afternoon a group of student protesters for some reason decided to storm a local mall. >> jimmy: it got a little bit crazy. the good news is this is the first time in almost five years that anyone under the age 21 has been to a mall. [ laughter ] good for orange julius, i guess. also during that "60 minutes" interview with trump he said, going forward he will be "very restrained" on twitter and facebook. so the interview was taped friday. and then yesterday on sunday,
two days later, he went on a tirade against the "new york times" on twitter. but he didn't use all caps, which is -- [ laughter ] baby steps, it's something, right? lower case. speaking of social media, facebook is -- they're now planning to weed out -- you know the bogus news stories that show up on your feed? mark zuckerberg has promised to crack down on what he calls fake news. he's also calling bs on your happy anniversary posts. nobody's buying it. some people believe that these phony news stories and the hoaxes on facebook all the time contributed to trump winning the election. zuckerberg denies that, of course. but even if it is true here's an idea. maybe it will get your news from the same website you'll go on to see who from high school got fat. michael moore was on cnn last night where he offered some friendly advice for fellow democrats when choosing a candidate in elections to come. >> frankly, you know, democrats would be better off if they ran oprah.
or tom hanks. why don't we run beloved people? we have so many of them. the republicans do this. they run reagan, the terminator, other people. why don't we run somebody that the american people love? >> jimmy: yeah. run, forrest, run! for president. [ laughter ] that would be something, huh? the year 2024, we could be deciding between a real housewife and a cast member from "the big bang theory," tbd. trump told leslie stall that his salary as president will be $1. usually the president gets $400,000. he will only take one of those. according to the "new york times," he also wants to keep holding rallies because he enjoys the instant gratification that he gets from the cheering crowds. which, you know, he probably could have skipped being president and gone on tour with kevin hart if that's what he wanted. [ laughter ] on top of that he might not even live in the white house full-time. he'll be on the road a lot. he reportedly wants to spend his time split between the white house, his apartment in new
york, and his other properties in florida and new jersey. it's already he's like a kid being forced to go to summer camp. mom, i want to come home. the winds of change are blowing here in this country. and there's a lot of uncertainty in the air. we have a president who doesn't seem too keen on living in the white house. that's just the start. this afternoon we went on the street, we asked people to weigh in on some plans trump has for renovating the white house, which of course we made up. these are all fake. but the people on the street went along with them anyway for tonight's edition of "lie witness news." >> we're talking to people today about donald trump met with barack obama at the white house and laid out his plans for renovations of the white house. what are your thoughts about him tearing it down to build a bigger, better white house? >> you know, i think the country's in need of a change. i'm open to any new, you know, ideas. >> do you like the idea of a white house food court?
>> no, not at all. >> what restaurants would you want to see? i'll run through some of the names of restaurants. >> okay. >> potential restaurants. you tell me yes or no. >> okay. >> mcdonalds. >> definitely not. >> mimi's cafe express. >> no. >> cinnabon. >> cinnabon's good. >> what did you think of donald trump's potential champagne fountain? is it classy or trashy? >> i think it's trashy to have a champagne fountain all the time. not just brought in for guests. >> what was your reaction when you heard about donald trump's plans to replace that white house with a 50-story penthouse building? gold on the outside, giant "t" on top? >> i mean -- white house is the face of our country, so i mean -- if it's going to be so much more bigger and greater then this is definitely going to benefit us. >> where did you hear about that? >> tweeter -- i think he tweeted it. >> what have people been saying about donald trump's plans to put a waterbed in and a mirror on the creeling in the bedroom?
>> man. some people saying it's cool, some people saying it's gone too far. if he likes to get down and get a little freaky and want to look at himself on the mirror, bounce around on the waterbed, so be it. >> melania actually did this sketch using an architect in mongolia. what do you think about this, people gathered around the spire? >> that looks like a rendering of mecca where muslims do their pilgrimage -- >> no, no, no, no. of course donald trump wouldn't be the first person to renovate the white house. taft widened the doors. and i'm sure you remember jimmy carter put the outhouse out back. caught a lot of flack. but everybody loved the outhouse. >> that was neat. >> the president of france came over and he wanted to use the outhouse, everybody wanted to use the outhouse. do you remember margaret thatcher got locked in the outhouse? >> i don't remember that. i heard about it but i don't remember what happened. >> he went on at length about the white house christmas tree being too small, he wants a bigger tree at the white house. do you think he should get a bigger tree at the white house?
>> i say, why not have a bigger tree? it's already a pretty big tree -- >> but can it be a bigger tree? >> it can be a bigger tree. >> donald trump, get a bigger tree, all right? >> why don't we chant that together. >> bigger tree, bigger tree! bigger tree, bigger tree! bigger tree, bigger tree! bigger tree, bigger tree! bigotry! no bigotry in the white house. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: make up your mind. we have to take a break. when we come back uber has a weird new feature. and cousin sal is weird too. he's back with his hidden camera hijinks, stick around, we'll be right back! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪
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>> jimmy: thank you. thank you. and thank you. welcome back. dwayne johnson, billy eichner, music from dawes on the way. first, if you look outside, hopefully you got to see the super moon. did you see the super moon? this is when the moon is at its closest point to the earth, in this case the closest the moon has been to earth since 1948. it won't get this close again until the year 2034, assuming there is a year 2034.
here in l.a., we have the kardashians so we see super moons all the time. [ laughter ] so it's not really that big a deal for us. if you're somewhere else and you miss the super moon, just go in your closet and stare at a lightbulb, i guess. uber is trying out a new thing to make their service feel more personal. uber, they want to do what google does. you know how google tracks everything you do, then you see ads? they want to have their app keep track of where you go, who you know, and what you like. that way i guess you can listen to the music you prefer, when you get in the car they'll keep the car at the temperature you like, they know the addresses you want to go to, maybe even it can summon a driver who actually knows you. >> see you later. >> when you need a ride, uber's got you covered. now thanks to our new personalized passenger algorithm, uber knows exactly what you need. >> daniel! >> mom? >> get in, sweetie, come on. >> introducing uber mom. she's always available. and she's ready to take her precious cargo anywhere you want to go.
>> it's going to be 3976 prospect avenue. >> why? who lives there? >> nobody. >> is she jewish? >> hey, babe. it's about time. >> i'm sorry. >> hello, alison! take good care of my sweet baby. he likes to sleep with mr. wiggles. >> mom! >> you brought your mom? >> uber mom. you'll never have sex again. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah, all right. hey, you know, from time to time we like to dispatch my cousin sal into the world with hidden cameras to have some fun. and give us a break here at the office. and he did it again. this is cousin sal egging on unwitting delivery men. ♪ >> hey, come on up. how's it going?
you're the grocery delivery? >> what's the name? >> you're delivering eggs? >> yeah. >> this is good, this is me, excellent. now i paid you already, right? >> you don't pay me. >> do me a favor, put the phone away. i'm going to show you something. hold this. put the phone away. you don't need your phone. teenage girl. all right, watch this. you're going to love this, watch. watch this. that's my car right there. bam! right? isn't that something? look at that. i released all the frustration i had throughout the day. pizza delivery too, this is great. come on in. watch out! i'm throwing eggs. it's a lot of the fun, right? put the pizza down. here. put it right there. watch this. watch what i do with my friend. he just delivered eggs to me. that's my car. bam! isn't that fun? you know what, you try it. i want to see you guys try one. it's like therapy.
>> you'll sign? >> i'll sign, i just want to see you throw one. it's a lot of fun. >> i have one. >> all right. here you go. throw another one. try to get the window. oh, that's pretty good. that's pretty good too. i want you to throw it at the same time. you ready? put your phone away. here. we go right here. all right. one, two, three -- beautiful! i like that. doesn't it feel good? hold on, going to give you one more. >> hey, hey, hey, what are you guys doing? >> whoa, whoa, whoa! >> what are you doing? why are you guys throwing eggs at my car? who is that guy? >> i brought you food. >> what food? why are you throwing eggs at my car? >> i deliver pizza! >> i saw on my camera, you both and this guy throw eggs at my car! >> that guy said, this is my car. >> this is my car! >> i didn't throw any. >> i got you on camera throw two eggs.
>> he say, this my car, i live here. i say i drop the food, sign off. then he say, i have frustration too much and sending this guy. >> he said he's frustrated so he gave you eggs to throw at my car? because he's frustrated? >> this is my culture. >> your culture throws eggs? >> his culture. >> he said, he said. >> his culture? >> yeah. >> what culture throws eggs at my car? >> his car. his house. >> here's what we do, okay? i got an easy way to settle this. both of you come here. i want you to both look at my car. can you see this car? i got you on my camera, the both of you, vandalizing my car. i want you to look in that camera so i got a good look at you and say, i'm sorry, to jimmy kimmel. >> i'm sorry. >> i'm sorry, jimmy. say i'm sorry, jimmy. >> i'm sorry, jimmy. >> i'm sorry, jimmy. >> jimmy? >> jimmy, i'm sorry. >> they're sorry. >> thank you. >> thank you. >> there's the guy right here!
>> sal: have they said hi to jimmy kimmel yet? >> they did. >> sal: they're not aware of it yet? >> i have to leave, i have to leave. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: big fan. we have a great show tonight. music from dawes. billy eichner is here. be right back with dwayne johnson! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by hallmark channel's countdown to christmas. watch all-new holiday movies every saturday and sunday at 8/7 central.
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they're calling this the feel good album title of the year. tomorrow night, casey affleck and garth brooks will be here. he will be here two nights with garth brooks. plus, billy crystal, lucas hedges and music from jeezy featuring french montana as they say. our first guest is one of the biggest movie stars in the world, literally, he's enormous. you'll see. starting november 23rd you can hear him fully in song as the demigod maui in the new disney movie "moana." ♪ when the nights got cold who stole you fire from down below ♪ ♪ look at that oh ♪ also i lassoed the sun you're welcome ♪ ♪ to stretch your days and bring you fun ♪ ♪ also i harnessed the breeze ♪ you're welcome to fill your sails and shake your trees ♪ ♪ so what can i say except you're welcome ♪ ♪ for the islands i pulled from the sea ♪ ♪ there's no need to pray you're welcome ♪
♪ i guess it's just my way of being me ♪ >> jimmy: please say hello to america's favorite dwayne, dwayne johnson. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: good to have you here. >> amazing crowd, wow. >> jimmy: what were you doing there? is that for instagram or periscope? >> this was for 70 million fans on the gram. >> jimmy: on the gram. [ cheers and applause ] >> on the gram. thank you for participating. >> jimmy: my pleasure, my pleasure.
did you ever imagine during those days when you were really just wearing a pair of underpants and hitting people over the head with folding chairs, that one day you would be singing in an animated disney film? >> no. [ laughter ] >> no, no, not at all. i mean, look. here we are, we're on the show, we're talking about it, the movie's getting ready to come out. and so i was on my way to china. this is two and a half years ago, on my way to china. with my agent, getting ready to promote a movie. we're getting ready to go on the plane. he goes, got to talk to you. he goes, sit down. i'm like, okay. so i sit down. and he goes, this just came in. it's been in development for years now. they just offered you this role in disney. and i was like, wow. he goes, your culture, polynesian culture, which got me very excited to showcase our culture. i'm like, oh, that's amazing. he goes, you know what else? i got to say it right because this is how we operate, we roll, we're truthful on this show. he goes, "you're [ bleep ] singing." well, all right! thank you so much.
yes. let's do it. let's do it. >> jimmy: did they know you could sing going in? were they aware? did they check first? [ laughter ] >> they did, they did their deep dive research. >> jimmy: they did. >> as only disney does. i think they had an idea. because i sang before in the past. i would come on -- probably come on here, we'd sing a little bit, silly, fun stuff. so i think they knew maybe i could carry a tune. >> jimmy: right. >> so i think that was enough. then they had, of course, the masterful lin-manuel miranda wrote all of our music. >> jimmy: he was here last week and he said for this, this was like his dream. he named his son "sebastian" after the crab in "the little mermaid." i mean, that is -- that to me is proof that this is his dream. >> this is literally his dream. but by the way, it's like a dream come true for so many of us. his son sebastian was born during the making of "moana." our daughter jasmine was born during the making of "moana." >> jimmy: how old is she now? >> 11 months old. and i have a daughter, simone, who's 15. here's the crazy thing.
every time i see "moana," it starts off with baby moana who looks just like my 11-month-old jasmine. then she grows into this beautiful 15, 16-year-old girl who looks just like my other daughter, simone. it's a whole -- [ audience: aww ] i know. >> jimmy: you should sue. >> i am suing. you shouldn't have told them that. >> jimmy: your 11-month-old too is young -- has she seen the movie? >> she hasn't seen the movie. we can't wait to show it to her. she loves the trailer. >> jimmy: she does? >> yeah. she hears my voice in it so it's a thing. >> jimmy: right, yeah. >> it's like honey-coated gravel, you know. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's a double-edged sword. you could get in a situation, like the song "let it go" in "frozen." where kids love you and they sing the song so many times, over and over again, their parents begin to want to kill you. [ laughter ] >> yes. i'm well aware that that could happen, by the way, with the song "you're welcome." who knows. we'll see. >> you're shooting live-action movie "jumanji," a new version, in hawaii right now.
>> yes, yes. >> jimmy: as you mentioned, that's where you're from. what is it like shooting in the place you grew up? >> it's -- first of all, it's awesome. right? it's awesome. it's a double-edged sword, right? there's a side a and on side b. >> jimmy: tell us about the side b, we don't care about side a, we want to hear the bad parts. >> the bad part is you go back to hawaii. first all the locals -- i just have to say bringing a movie of this size and magnitude, the jobs it creates for the hard-working locals, that's amazing. >> jimmy: it's great. >> that's the a-side. the b-side is after every day we wrap, there's fans always waiting, there's inevitably more cousins. i just got more cousins. >> jimmy: you did? >> i go out, my logistical guys will say, hey, listen. there's two, three families, you look over there, there's 20 people all holding things and babies and all kinds of stuff waiting for me to sign. who is that? that's your cousin from your grandfather's side ten times removed. i'm like, i don't have that, no,
they're white. [ laughter ] how did that happen? i'm like, okay. maybe. but that's the other side to that. >> jimmy: yeah, right. >> that's what happens when you go to hawaii. >> jimmy: there's an island, there's nowhere to go, everybody becomes cousins eventually, right? [ laughter ] >> yeah. eventually, yes. we all become cousins. >> jimmy: have you been to the places you used to hang out when you grew up? those like spots? >> yeah, so i have been -- i'm sure i've talked about it with you a few times. growing up as a teenager in hawaii, i used to get in trouble a lot, doing things i shouldn't have been doing, arrested multiple times. so i used to -- so the answer is yes. so i felt like i need to redeem myself. i went back to hawaii. i had my 15-year-old daughter simone. honey, it's sunday, it's our day off, we're going to go to all these places that i did bad things. i've got to redeem myself. >> jimmy: what? this sounds like a movie right off the bat. >> i know. we're at least going to drive by. i told her stories. basically it's like there's the
lessons here. so here's where your dad, this particular thing happened. >> jimmy: what? seems like a terrible idea. [ laughter ] >> i thought it was a great idea. at the time. >> jimmy: you got to call me before you have another one of these ideas. >> i'll call you next time. all the places i did bad [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: this is daddy's favorite crackhouse. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> oh my god. >> jimmy: not that bad? >> it's not that bad. funny you should say crack. [ laughter ] so i used to walk to the gym when i was a freshman. five miles. >> jimmy: wow. >> everybody says, you walked five miles? i literally had to walk five miles to the gym. midway point to the gym is a 7-eleven. i used to stop at this 7-eleven. i swear to god, every day. i used to steal a king-size snickers bar. >> jimmy: every day? >> for energy. i didn't have any money, right? so that's what i did. i took every day, for energy, king-sized snicker bar. >> jimmy: wow. >> i told my daughter, i said, what if we went, let's go back
to the 7-eleven, let's go in there, let's grab a king-sized snickers. let me put $500 down and just say, "here, thank you." then go. she's like, all right, that's kind of cool, let's go do that. we pull up. she's like, is that -- and i look. is that? yeah. i think he's shooting up drugs right there, hm, oh. i think right there. it's so sketchy now. this place. so we did not go in. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's good. this is some lesson you taught your daughter. >> come on, honey! >> jimmy: we're going to make this right -- on second thought, we're leaving. [ laughter ] >> and we left. >> jimmy: you would go in and these must have been the least-observant 7-eleven cashiers of all-time. >> yes. >> jimmy: this giant boy comes in every day. maybe they were too scared to say anything. >> i had pimples all over my face because i ate a snickers bar every day, sugar. i had afro, an afro. first of all, same person, employee, every day. same shift. every day.
i guess it's kind of like, it's a little loco. hey. >> jimmy: did you buy anything? purchase anything? as a ruse? or just go in there, take the snickers bar, and leave? >> no, i had no money, there was no ruse. it wasn't a sophisticated model i was working with. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: inside the criminal mind of dwayne johnson, wow. >> it was just that. one day i will have to go back. if not that one, a 7-eleven. redeem myself. >> jimmy: a different 7-eleven. >> this is back before i became who i am today. >> jimmy: the afi film festival is going on across the street from us. >> yes. yes, it is. >> jimmy: this is the premiere of "moana," world premiere. >> it is the world premiere of "moana." there's months and months of planning that go into this, right? these premieres. tonight this is one of the biggest premieres in hollywood ever. of all-time. all of hollywood boulevard is shut down. >> jimmy: that's true. >> for this premiere. >> jimmy: it's a nightmare. >> there's going to be a special performance outside on stage.
so we thought that it would be a good idea to bring all of you with us. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that will be fun, right? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: dwayne johnson, "moana" opens november 23rd. be right back with billy eichner! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ every day starts better with a healthy smile. start yours with philips sonicare, the no.1 choice of dentists. compared to oral-b 7000, philips sonicare flexcare platinum removes significantly more plaque. this is the sound of sonic technology cleaning deep between teeth. hear the difference? get healthier gums in just 2 weeks vs a manual toothbrush and experience an amazing feel of clean. innovation and you. philips sonicare. save now when you buy philips sonicare.
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>> jimmy: welcome back to the show. still to come, music from dawes. our next guest is a nut who roams the streets with a microphone and an intensity that is nothing short of crazed. >> for a dollar would you consider a threesome with me and jon hamm? >> hello, yes, sir? >> a threesome with me and jon hamm, would you have one? >> for a dollar? >> yes. very progressive. i'm gay, you're black, you're plus-sized, he's jon hamm, he has a s.a.g. award, it's all happening. >> he doesn't have an oscar, though. >> that's right, good point! >> jimmy: billy on the street returns tomorrow night at 10:30 on trutv, please welcome billy eichner! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
>> what's happening? >> jimmy: how many seasons has this show been on the air? >> this is the fifth season. >> jimmy: i remember the first time i saw you and i was like, this guy is a lunatic. very funny. running through the street. five seasons. who could have ever imagined it would last this long? >> not me but i'm happy about it. wait a second, hold on. lin-manuel miranda named his son after sebastian the lobster? >> jimmy: yes, he did. >> and we're not going to talk about that more? >> jimmy: sebastian is a crab. first of all. not a lobster. >> oh, a crab. >> jimmy: that was a little bit racist of you to lump them. >> well, perfect timing this week, jimmy. [ laughter ] he should meet my daughter mary poppins, i think they'll really get along. >> jimmy: how are you doing? how's everything? >> it's been an interesting time. you know? >> jimmy: yeah. >> my show's coming out, super excited. we've got jon hamm tomorrow night. if you look at my twitter feed it's like, so schizophrenic. it's like call your congressman! then five minutes later, watch my show, it's really funny!
it's a weird week. >> jimmy: you did not work with the trump campaign? you were not one of the celebrities? >> i'm melania's official spin instructor, that's what i am. >> jimmy: melania would be fun for you to run around on the street with, wouldn't she? >> would she, jimmy? [ laughter ] not sure that invitation is coming any time soon. we'll see what happens. you never know. >> jimmy: you're based in new york, that's the only place you could do this show. right? >> i think so. it depends how amazing and funny and how much attitude new yorkers have. >> jimmy: and how quick they are to respond. >> like that woman we just saw. she doesn't care, you know? >> jimmy: she doesn't care. you don't find that here. people would crumple in a little heap. >> people are too polite. >> jimmy: i don't know what it is exactly. i don't know that it's a good quality but it is different for sure. >> in a weird way, it sounds a little cheesy, i grew up in new york, and i think the show is this kind of weird tribute to how crazy and insane new yorkers are.
>> jimmy: i think you're right. >> there's so much diversity on the show. i really love that. >> jimmy: the craziest and most insane new yorker is you running around with a microphone. >> yes, that is me. and so many fun guests. jon hamm, seth rogen, lupita nyong'o, john oliver. you're not invited. [ laughter ] no, i love you, i'd love to have you, any time. >> jimmy: is it a pain to have a person with you? >> yes, i hate them. >> jimmy: you can do it on your own no problem. >> i know. >> jimmy: you've got to drag somebody around and get them involved. >> i know but i need them for ratings. [ laughter ] no, it's so much fun. we did one with michelle obama. >> jimmy: yes, right. david letterman was on your show which was really crazy. because he never goes out on the street and does this. >> he kind of invented it. i know he's a hero for you and me too, i grew up watching him. one of the biggest compliments i've gotten is that dave thought that i had big balls. >> jimmy: nice. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you showered together? [ laughter ] oh, i see. >> i love the beard now.
>> jimmy: congratulations on this, "entertainment weekly." you're right in the middle. that's where you want to be. [ cheers and applause ] >> yes! thank you. i have to say, i grew up reading "entertainment weekly" every week. i've had a subscription since i was 10 years old. this is crazy. i'm in the center of the bull's-eye. which is so amazing to me. at the same time as a gay jew, i don't know if this is the best week to put me in the center of a bull's-eye. [ laughter ] but it's a little redundant. but i'll take it, i'll take it. >> jimmy: yeah, that's pretty good. what kind of 10-year-old has a subscription to any magazine? >> a gay one, jimmy. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what is it, and i don't mean to lump everybody in together. but why are gay men so interested in pop culture? >> you know, that's an interesting question. >> jimmy: thank you. >> and i'll talk about it on "charlie rose." know what i mean? i'm not talking about that here.
i don't know, my parents sat me down in front of the tv, in front of entertainment tonight, and i absorbed all of it. i was raised by mary hart and john tesh. [ laughter ] i was. i'm not proud of it but this is what happened. >> jimmy: well, how about that. you love what you love. it's as simple as that. >> what are you going to do? >> jimmy: i'm looking forward to the new season. >> thank you. >> jimmy: do you want to come to the movie with us? have you met the rock? >> i'm actually really busy. >> jimmy: oh, you are. [ laughter ] >> yeah. no, i love the rock. >> jimmy: lin-manuel miranda named his son after a crab for this movie, you have to understand. >> i know. i'll go see it. i'll go see it. >> jimmy: we don't want to force you into anything. [ cheers and applause ] i know how comfortable you are out on the street. >> i will consider it. >> jimmy: okay, consider it. all right, "billy on the street" tuesday night 10:30 on trutv, billy eichner, everybody! be right back with dawes. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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>> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series brought to you by the dick's sporting goods foundation. help save youth sports. >> jimmy: this is their new album called "we're all gonna die." here with the song "when the tequila runs out," dawes! ♪ ♪ ♪ everyone that greeted me was moving slow and drinking fast ♪ ♪ i was lost inside a painting on a wall a pretty baby with a cigarettes as looking ♪ for a place to ash stumbling toward the voices down the hall ♪
♪ ♪ they had thriller on the stereo not the album just the song ♪ ♪ for two dancers all in white that no one really knew there were a lot of leather jackets there was a haircut ♪ reading palms there was a line outside the bathroom that didn't really move ♪ ♪ ♪ when the tequila runs out we'll be drinking champagne when the tequila runs out we'll be drinking champagne ♪ ♪ when the tequila runs out we'll be drinking champagne when the tequila runs out we'll be feeling no pain ♪ ♪ ♪ some girls forgot their bathing suits but felt like jumping in the pool ♪ ♪ right after making sure the underwater lights were on i was
staring at a silhouette i was blushing like a fool ♪ ♪ letting everyone pretend they hadn't planned it all along ♪ ♪ then our host bust out of his bedroom with his glasses slightly bent ♪ ♪ he gets up on the diving board to tell us how he feels ladies and gentlemen we've begun the initial descent ♪ ♪ and now it's time to pull up on the wheel ♪ ♪ ♪ when the tequila runs out we'll be drinking champagne when the tequila runs out we'll be drinking ♪ ♪ champagne ♪ when the tequila runs out we'll be drinking champagne when the tequila runs out we'll be feeling no pain ♪
♪ ♪ ♪ on the floor of the living room i saw my past life passed out laying next to her handsome new flame ♪ ♪ i didn't recognize his face too much cept for the grimace on his mouth ♪ ♪ he looked a lot like me he seemed to be in pain ♪ ♪ i didn't hear the picture window break i didn't see the rising sun but i could feel the morning breeze ♪ ♪ then i heard her tired voice speak up and say i think this party's done ♪ ♪ she asked if i could drive her home and then she added please please ♪ ♪ when the tequila runs out
we'll be drinking champagne when the tequila runs out we'll be drinking ♪ ♪ champagne ♪ when the tequila runs out we'll be drinking champagne when the tequila runs out we'll be feeling no pain ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: hey, now, all right. the tequila will never run out, don't worry. that's dawes, see them on tour starting in january.
am i actually pushing these guys who ran out of gas six miles on a lonely highway? or is this a metaphor for how i'm constantly pushing myself to make a tastier sandwich? like my new pepper jack ranch spicy chicken sandwich with spicy pepper jack cheese, spicy ranch, and spicy all-white-meat chicken. but judging from the third-degree sunburn, and the fact that i can't feel my legs, i'd say i'm actually pushing this car. there's gotta be a better way to get new customers. the pepper jack ranch spicy chicken sandwich. taste it before it's gone. yep, i'm lost.
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, everybody. we're back. this is dwayne johnson, this is guillermo johnson, you didn't know that was his last name. we are about to take our audience to see "moana," the afi film fest, the world premiere. they'll be the first people to see the film, it opens on november 23rd. let's head over there. >> let's do. we've got the audience right here. >> jimmy: this is fun. you know this is especially exciting because they just legalized moana here in california. legal moana, that's good news. >> we got the band behind us. [ cheers and applause ] >> here we go everybody's here! >> dawes is here! >> we've got a new album out, it's very uplifting, "we're all gonna die." [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we are all going to die. >> let's see the movie! >> jimmy: everybody's hosting their own show at once here.
i want to thank billy eichner on the street on trutv. again, dawes. we apologize to matt damon, unfortunately even though we did have extra time we ran out of time for him. >> sorry, man, we love you. >> jimmy: it's really sad. watch "nightline" too. we're going to watch the movie, it's "moana" time. >> guillermo: it's "moana" time. >> jimmy: very good, the audience is ready. dawes, are you guys ready for "moana"? thanks for watching. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
this is "nightline." >> tonight, kiefer sutherland is taking you way behind the scenes of abc's "designated survivor." now we're with real-life designated survivors. >> we went to a secure, undisclosed location. >> we take you inside a once top secret government hide-away. >> welcome to the bunker. >> in case of a national catastrophe. plus "moana," the female hero of disney's newest animated feature. dwayne johnson tells us why this new movie "rocks." >> i've got a pretty good singing voice. >> the star's surprising personal connection to the exotic backdrop. puppet parody. get your chee